All language subtitles for 2Point4 Children s06e04 The Trouble With Harry

Great, isn't it? They've done a very
good job.

Now we need some work.

Oh, I forgot.

The big carpet warehouse on the estate.
They're interested in lunch sandwiches

for all the staff.

Fail or return, I suppose.

Dark though, isn't it?

Shall I go over and tell them OK?

At the speed of light.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

Nothing. I can get off work on it and
give you a bit of encouragement, can't

Lovely oven.

It's a fridge.

What's going on?

Can I give you a lift home?

Do you know anything about this? No.

Hi, Mum. Hi.

What are you two doing here? I picked
them up on the way. It was coming out in

time.

I'm not going any further until you tell
me what you've done with my real

family.

Would you rather wait for the bus?

My doctor's rung up and I'm going to
die.

Am I getting warm?

Oh, shall we stop here for a minute?

All right, that's a good idea.

Oh, look, the little one in the corner.
The little fat one. Oh, they're all

nice. Wouldn't it be lovely to have one?

Well, the shop's still open.

Do you think they could?

Oh, look, another one.

Up to your mum, really.

She'll have to agree.

Mum?

Oh, please, it'd be so nice.

Well, what do you think?

Where's your father gone? To the park

or are you just pleased to see me?

Oh, don't look at me like that with
bunny eyes.

I'm a dog.

What?

Wanted a dog.

Why did you have to spring it on me like
that?

Jenny! We really must do something about
this. What?

I am not going to spend the rest of our
lives together as she who was too

miserable to let us have a puppy.

You won't. You shrieked.

Oh, what do you want now? I want to talk
to you all about this properly.

What is there to talk about?

You're just too miserable to let us have
a puppy.

First of all, let me remind everybody
about the luck we have with animals in

this house.

Grimes' fish.

Grimes' pigeons.

I know.

There's no need to rub it in.

But that was different. That was with
other people's pets.

It'd be much different with their own.
We'd be much more careful. Well, even if

you were, that isn't really what worries
me.

What do you mean?

Well, there's another reason I don't
want one.

I told you. Yeah, all right, you were
right. We thought you might say that.

What? You don't want to go through all
that toilet training, messing up the

carpet. Oh, we do understand.

That's why we also got this.

It's a special place.

What for?

Well, it gives homes to older dogs who
haven't got owners anymore.

Why haven't they got owners anymore?

They're dead.

Fraud, things like that. So they're not
puppies?

No. They're older dogs.

Um... Much older.

And sick.

In fact, they probably won't even live
very long.

I mean, if you didn't like it, it'd be
gone before you knew it.

It's a very good idea.

You really think so?

Yes, but puppy training isn't why I
don't want one.

Oh. Why don't you want one?

It's the looking after it.

Well, we'd do that, wouldn't we? Of
course. We want to. I know what'll

I'll end up doing it. Why?

Because I always end up doing
everything.

Oh, that's not true.

That plant you bought for your room,
when did you last water it?

Recently. February.

I water it. Yes, but... And what about
the puncture you had on your bike for

three months?

It healed up.

I mended it.

And do I need to mention the VAT
returns?

That's not fair. I don't understand
them. But I do them. I do everything

everyone's fed up with, but not this.

I've just started up the business again.

I need the time. I'm not looking after a
dog as well.

You wouldn't have to.

Yes, I would. You wouldn't. I would. You
wouldn't. I would.

Only one way to prove it. How? Get a
dog. No.

How can we prove we'd look after it if
you won't let us get one? We don't. need

to get one to prove it. I can imagine
what it'd be like to have a dog around

here. Oh, this isn't fair. We can't win
either way. We can't have a dog without

proving we'd look after it and we can't
prove we'd look after it without having

a dog.

Well, there you are then.

I don't know.

What if we could prove it without having
one?

How could we do that? Well, you just
said so yourself.

Did I? Yeah, we have an imaginary one.

What do you mean we have an imaginary
one? We actually have an imaginary dog.

That is the most lunatic suggestion
anyone has ever made in all our years

together, and that is quite some feat.
Well, just until we've proved that you

don't have to look after it. That's
brilliant.

Stupid. Let's have a vote on it. No!

I thought this was supposed to be a
democratic family unit. No. I seized

one day when you were all out.

Give us a shout of hands.

I just don't see how it would work.

Well, it should be quite simple, really.

We just agree between ourselves that we
brought home an imaginary dog, starting

from now, all right? Right.

Agree.

So, where is it, then?

It's over there.

See?

Oh, yeah.

I see it.

It's nice.

What's its name?

Sally. No, Sally.

Harry. Only one way to make sure.

I really don't think I'll be able to...
Hey, careful!

You nearly tread on him!

Oh, Harry, you're right, mate.

Oh, did she nearly tread on you?

Good boy, see?

Well? Well what?

Tell him you're sorry.

I'm sorry, Harry.

I didn't notice you there for some
peculiar reason.

Bill!

more thing.

Now what? Well, in order to make sure
this experiment is fair to both sides,

we're all going to have to agree to
believe in Harry no matter what for a

period of, say, two weeks. Two weeks? Is
your idea?

Right then, repeat after me.

I promise to believe in Harry. I promise
to believe in Harry.

Whatever the circumstances.

Whatever the circumstances.

Until two weeks from tonight have
passed.

Until two weeks from tonight have
passed.

So help me God.

to this. So help me God.

So help me God.

Right then.

I'll see you later.

Just a minute.

Look.

What? Harry's going over to the front
door.

What is it, Harry?

Nothing. He's always doing that. No.

He's got his lead in his mouth.

You know what that means. He wants his
walk.

How can he? He doesn't even...

You don't whimper like that. I'm sure
someone will take you on your hour -and

-half evening walk.

We'll all go.

All of you? Well, it's his birthday with
us. We don't want him getting lonely.

And we need to get to know him. Good.

Careful, don't let him out!

Come in.

That's better.

Where's his lead?

He's got it.

I'll do it.

Jimmy, Jimmy.

cheese and pickle?

With or without lettuce?

What if we include it and call them
ploughmen?

Harry, Harry, where are you?

Oh, there you are. Look.

I found the old frisbee. Come on. Let's
go in the garden. Come on.

Come on, boy. Come on.

That's it. Come on. Through it. Come on.
Oh, look.

Come on.

Ploughmen's egregious.

So, let's do that.

Shall we bother with the other cheese
one or just do the one without meat?

Missed me when I went out to the van.
Oh, don't wipe yourself to pieces.

What do you think you're doing?

Talking to Harry.

Harry's with me in the kitchen. No, he
isn't. Yes, he is. I've just been

stroking him. No, he isn't. He's outside
with me.

He's on the sofa.

No, he isn't. Yes, he is.

You're both wrong. He's outside.

I'm telling you he's with me. Oh, for
heaven's sake.

If you must carry on with this lunacy,
at least get it right.

All right.

He's on the sofa.

I suppose so.

If it makes everybody happy.

How long do you think they can keep this
up?

Oh, don't worry. They'll be bored with
it by tomorrow.

Breakfast! Why don't you just stick a
knitting needle into my hair?

Somebody woke me up at two o 'clock this
morning to tell me that Harry was

howling, and I had to go and let him
out. Oh, dear.

Come on.

There we come, good boy.

Oh, God, you haven't let that dog sleep
on your bed again.

What? He likes it.

They're always unsettled in a strange
house, and there's plenty of room. What

about the smell?

Ah, the dog doesn't mind.

Bum, bum.

It's your boy. It's your boy. I know
what you've got.

I know what daddy's got for you. Do you
want it? Do you want it? Do you want it?

Gently, gently.

Isn't this getting a bit out of hand?

Let's not forget he isn't actually
there.

Not there?

Not there? I just spent this last week
training him.

Oh, yeah, he can do all sorts of tricks
now.

Tricks? Watch this, Harry.

Good boy.

Die for the Queen. Die for the Queen.
Yes!

Very impressive.

Have you seen the best one yet?

Now what?

Hold on.

Here we are. Stay, Harry, stay.

Right. Now, Harry.

Up. Yes!

Now,

Harry. Two legs.

Two legs. Yes!

And for our next trick... Who's for
toast?

Oh, you shouldn't have said that. Now
you put him on.

Never mind. You know what happens when
you say the T word? He loves his toes,

doesn't he?

Yes, he does.

Yes, he does.

Yes, he does. Yes, he does. Yes, he
does. What are you doing?

I'm tickling his ears. He loves it.
Don't you? Don't you? Oh, yes, he loves

but that's not his ear you're tickling.

Yes, it is.

Has everyone got their food?

Yep. Good. Oh, where are you going now?
I'd love to go.

Mum, is it all right if I take Harry to
show Clive this evening?

Laura's picking me up.

Does she mind having a dog in her car?

No, I explained it to her. She
understands.

She's going to put an old blanket in the
back seat so his paws won't scratch it.

All right.

Here we are.

You have to wait till you've started
eating before you feed them. Otherwise,

they think they're a top dog.

Ready for the book. Then you can give
them their food.

What food?

It's all right. I'm coming, I'm coming.

It's for his coat and teeth.

I know.

Why don't we get Harry to bring over the
newspaper for us? There's no need to be

stupid.

Don't go through the bread.

Oh, sorry. What time is it?

Plenty of time. We've still got the egg
and crust to do and the... Cheese and

apple. We have five of those left over
yesterday.

We'll do three less and make up the rest
with... What on earth is that?

Beetroot, sultana and pickle.

That's today's special.

Beetroot, sultana and pickle?

I've been having it at home recently. I
can't get enough of it.

How many of those have you done?

Just started.

I think perhaps it might be an acquired
taste and maybe we should make something

a little less... Revolting. No!

Well, yes.

You may be right.

It does look a bit like Quentin
Tarantino let loose in a rabbit hutch.

I don't know why I've got such a taste
for it.

Put them aside and do some chicken and
sweetcorn.

Well, you could always give this to
Harry.

I don't want to hear another word about
Harry.

Harry, Harry, Harry. That's all I've
heard for the last week. The whole

quite beyond belief now. If I go to the
biscuit tin and it's empty, Harry's

eaten them. If there's crumbs all over
the floor... Harry made them. I'm not

even supposed to use the hoover now
because Harry's afraid of it.

Can you put him outside?

There's no such thing as him.

It's just a bit of fun. It's harmless.

Harmless? Look.

When I got home yesterday, I found this
on the carpet.

Still like this, don't they? What's
wrong with that?

Rona, they don't sell them half -chewed.

You mean some... They act... Actually, I
don't like to think about it too

closely. The mind boggles.

It started off as a good idea, but now
it's completely out of control.

If I never hear another word about
Harry, it'll be too soon for me.

Hello? Hi, it's about Harry.

I'm stuck here in Barnet with a rusted
-on immersion.

It's going to take time and muscle.

And guess which one Muggins is going to
have to supply.

I'm talking on the phone here, you know.
Oh, are you? Sorry, I thought someone

had switched on a hot hair dryer.

Thing is, I'm going to be stuck here for
at least another hour.

Yes. Well, Harry hasn't been for his
morning walk yet. He must be bursting by

now. I imagine.

So can you?

What? Well, take him. It'll only take
half an hour.

I'm working.

Oh, please, I promise, just this once.
We did tell you to do this properly,

didn't we?

Yes. Yes, we did.

So, how will you get him over here to
me?

What?

How will you get him over here to me?
Oh, sorry, didn't I tell you?

No. I forgot to take him.

What? Yeah, I was halfway round the
North Circuit. I looked in the back of

van and nothing.

I don't believe this. Yeah, I must have
forgotten him.

So where is he, then?

You mean he's not with you?

No.

You mean you've left him at home on his
own, locked in?

God knows where he's got up to, but you
know they chew things when they're left

alone, don't you?

He's got his doggy chew.

Oh, no, they taste horrible.

I'm here because of the hygiene
regulations.

Oh, yeah, of course. Well, you'll have
to go home and collect him.

What? Well, I would if I could, but I
can't. I'm not going.

Remember your promise.

Oh, but what was coming out? Oh, look,
I'm going to have to go speak to you

later. Don't forget his ball.

But... I am supposed to go

back home and take Harry for a walk.

I knew I should never have agreed to all
this.

you can finish all those in time by
yourself.

Just about. Why?

The only way to end this whole farrago
is by proving that the dog isn't viable.

Could you bring the basket and meet me
at my place as soon as possible?

You're not really going to go, are you?
Oh, yes, I am. I'm going to take him for

a walk. And if I'm not back in time to
sell the sandwiches with you, that will

prove that I was right all along and
this whole thing will have to stop.

Well, all right.

Good. I should be back in the house by
twelve.

of the day I've got to get

Yeah? It's about Harry.

What's that? He's here. I know.

No, he's here.

I know he's here. No, he's really here.

I know he's there. No, he's really
actually here.

I know.

I mean, he's really here in the house.
He's right next to me. Now I can

see him.

Well, of course you can see him if he's
right next to you. Oh.

I think he's coming.

I'll have to speak to you later.

Ben.

Yes, I know, and that's all right then.
Bye.

What was all that about? Oh, nothing.

It's just some dog that's followed you
home.

No, Rona, it's Harry.

Everybody's talked about him so much,
I've finally gone completely mad.

Well, I can see him as well. Well, you
were always a bit dippy in the first

place.

Isn't Harry?

Nobody's reported a dog missing to the
park or the police.

I suppose we could take him to
Battersea.

Yes, yes, that's what I thought.

I mean, he can't stay here.

No.

I went there once, you know.

Where? Battersea Dogs Home, before we
had the kids.

Ben dragged me there the first time he
wanted a dog.

The day we went, there was a St Bernard
in the very last cage.

Well, he was too big for a normal house
and he ate far too much, so we knew no

-one was going to take him that night.

That's when I realised that when people
get a pet and find they've made a

mistake, the one who really suffers is
the animal.

That's why you always avoid getting one,
in case you make a mistake.

I just couldn't do that, Rona.

I couldn't.

We need to leave for the sandwich run in
five minutes.

What are we going to do with Harry?

Well, I suppose if everybody promised to
do their bit, we

could... It's the

police. They've brought someone.

Yes? Mrs Porter?

Yes. We came straight away. They said
they're in a hurry to get out. Hello.

Hello. I'm sorry about this, but I
understand you found Barry.

Barry? I know.

Strange name for a dog.

Come on, boy.

Come on.

Hello, boy.

I should never have let him off.

Unfortunately, things being what they
are, it took over three quarters of an

hour to realise he wasn't with me
anymore.

Oh.

Take care.

Thanks again.

Bye. Bye.

Bye, Barry.

I found his dog at the park.

You mean that isn't a guide dog at all?

Oh, no!

Wait! So you should be. Your dog...
Sorry!

Sorry! There's been a mistake.

This isn't your dog at all.

Not my dog.

Who is it?

I'll try and explain.

Ben, I want to talk to you about Harry.
No, it's all right. Don't panic. Harry

wasn't with you at all.

When I went back to the van and opened
the door... Dad!

Guess who we found?