Original subtitles

Here we are then.

It's a bit dingy, isn't it? We've got to make up our minds quickly. They said

there's someone else after it.

We've seen everything else on their books.

What do you think?

About what?

What are you doing? We won't be able to see anything now.

Yes, we will. I've got a torch.

I thought we could put all the cupboards along this wall here.

We can have the worktops along here and the sinks under the window.

What about ovens? Is it safe?

Oh, yeah, I found out about that.

Right. We can have the flue up that end and then we can have the ovens down

here.

I don't know, Bill.

I don't really like these mobile buildings.

Well, there's nothing wrong with them.

Well, what about that wall outside? Is it going to cut out a lot of the light?

You just want to see those builders again.

No.

All right.

Wait!

Three and a half hours.

Well, we got a free trip out of it.

Did you get my phone message?

for work.

Shouldn't he be in London?

Exactly.

I'll put the meat on. Thanks.

Oh, I wish we could get this thing sorted out soon.

Well, it's a big step to take.

We won't have the fire to save us if we make a mistake this time.

Mind you, it is taking longer than I thought.

How are you managing for money?

Has Tony got much work?

He's got four weddings and a funeral for Bank Holiday Monday.

A disco at a funeral?

No, I mean he's hired the video of four weddings and a funeral for Bank Holiday

Monday. It's all we can afford to do.

It's supposed to be very good.

It won't be after Aunty Pearl has finished with it.

She was disappointed and gone with the wind. She said in her opinion, Scarlet

would have been better off if she'd bought a parrot and opened a wool shop

the first place.

You mentioned Aunty Pearl was coming.

Try not to frighten Tony too much.

Aunty Pearl is like a tropical disease.

You're all right a long way away, but you're always worried what might happen

it gets here somehow.

What are your plans?

Well, let's try to get something sorted out soon, just the usual for a bank

holiday Monday.

Ben will want to go to Alton's house.

David will want to go to the American Adventure.

Jenny will want to leave us and go somewhere else, and we'll all end up in

car on the M1. Going where?

Oh, we don't go anywhere. It's bank holiday Monday.

Believe me, you'll fit her off with Aunty Pearl.

Can I come in?

Of course. Hi.

Rona, she's here.

She bit me.

Why?

Well, God knows. I was in the hall when she unlocked the door. She said she was

caught by surprise.

Oh, come on.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

Mum? No, you can't spend the bank holiday at Clive's. It's the only day I

see him. I want to see you. You see him every weekend.

I know.

What is it, then?

His gran's coming over and he wants me to meet her.

No, it'll just have to be some other weekend.

She's coming over for this weekend only.

Why this one only?

It's a long way.

Well, how old is he?

About 80.

Is he well?

No, she isn't.

She's ill.

In what way?

It's quite serious, actually. They're worried about her.

What is it exactly?

It's...

You know, that thing that old people get. Then they don't live much longer.

Oh, dear.

So can I go?

No. You knew all along you had no intention of letting me go. I can't stop

if you want to go. Oh, you have to feel guilty all the time that I'm there.

Look, I've hardly seen you at all for the last couple of months.

Come on, we'll have a nice date.

I've just been to Taney and got this. Great, eh?

I've already put up the mounting and charged it up with a cigar lighter

attachment on the way home.

Good. What is it?

A jam buster.

Our days in motorway queues on bank holidays are over. Alton Towers, here we

come. Oh, can't we go to the American Adventure? Oh, no, anything but that.

We can go to both now. We've got this.

Jam buster. When did you get it?

Oh, just now.

Is it charged up?

Yep. And you've fixed the mounting?

All done. Yes, but what is it?

A jam buster.

I'm going to kill myself.

It's a digital relay -fed mobile route information unit.

Which means?

On every motorway in the country, there are special sensors that can detect

whether there's a jam, all right? Yes.

Then they send that information to a central computer which generates a map

showing where all the jams are.

Yes.

Then they send that picture, like a mobile phone signal, to this screen in

car, and we know where all the jams are on all the motorways.

And this cost?

About £100.

About?

About £50 more, £150.

Yes?

Plus £100 a year, plus the VAT. But just think how useful it's going to be this

bank holiday weekend.

And so you've spent £250 we don't have on this? Yeah. A machine that, when

switched on, will tell you if there are jams on the motorways on bank holiday

weekend.

more than that. Oh good, what?

It beeps.

It beeps every time there's a new jam. Alright, I admit it's not an entirely

brilliant idea.

I think it's a brilliant idea.

You do?

Yes, well now when we're stuck on the motorway for ten hours on Monday, at

we'll have something to watch. Yes, but we won't be stuck now.

Why not?

Because before we leave home, we can see how many jams are building up simply by

doing this.

What else can we do on Monday, then?

Haven't you started yet?

Of course I've started.

I've said I'll finish this today, and I will.

Good.

I'm not doing anything.

I'm waiting for David.

Oh.

Sorry, I've come for my old T -shirt.

Right, now we can start.

Right.

You think the same, then? Yeah, it's not right.

What are you on about?

It's not right.

It's not right. See?

What's not right? I don't know, do you? No. But it's not right. It's not right.

Well, it better be right by the end of today. I've had enough of that hole in

the wall.

Pugs, will you come and have a look at this?

Yep.

See?

It's not right.

Hello?

Clive, we thought it might be you.

No, it's all still on as far as we're concerned. We're all ready for you.

Jenny's so pleased you're bringing your grandma round to see us.

No, not at all. I'm looking forward to meeting her as well.

How is she?

She wonders if we have any old photographs of Jenny.

Yes, lots of them. I'll dig them out for you, shall I? Give me the phone.

Oh, hang on. I think she wants to say something.

She says she's too busy to come to the phone at the moment. We'll see you

Mum!

Hang on, she's changed her mind.

Please? You are not to put him off, understand? Yes.

Hello?

Are you sure this is OK?

What about your gran?

Tell her I'm looking forward to seeing her, too.

No, she's not listening.

I do too.

Bye.

OK. Yes.

Well, there's no stopping them now.

They're on their way.

Cheer up.

I'm sure they'll all have a good time.

Yes. Look, this is the best solution for all of us. You get to see Clive, I get

to see you, we all get to see his grandma and your father and David are

upstairs. You really think it'll run smoothly?

Of course it will. Why shouldn't it?

Well, when you met Clive's parents, you took round a box of live cockroaches.

Not deliberately.

Well, I suppose it wasn't really your fault.

Is she Clive's mother's mother or his father's? She's Laura's mother.

She's wanted to meet me for some time. It's kind of a family tradition with

them. So she's coming to inspect us?

Possibly.

Does this mean... No.

But it... It might help if one day it did.

She's even hinted she might leave me her ring.

So this is more important to you than you've been letting on?

It could be.

You will be nice to her, won't you?

Of course I will.

There's nothing for you to worry about. Believe me.

on the doorstep.

Come in, Mum.

What a surprise.

Well, I was sitting on my own this morning and I thought to myself, why sit

alone on a bank holiday?

There's nothing for me to do here.

Nobody to talk to.

Nobody to see.

Nobody.

I told you why we couldn't come up, Mum.

Have you got a kiss for your grandma?

Of course.

Hi, nice to see you.

No, I don't want any fuss now I'm here.

I'll just sit down here and you'll get on with your own things.

Just pretend I don't exist.

It's not the tea things I see.

We haven't made it yet. Oh, well, I can wait.

I'll make it now.

I can wait a minute.

I'll make it. No, come on, come and sit down.

I can wait five minutes for a cup of tea.

After all, I've been stuck on a train two hours without one.

With the heating jammed on and the windows stuck shut.

I'll make it now.

I'll help you.

Now, don't go to any trouble.

It's no trouble.

You'll have to make a gong somehow before they get here.

Why? This is the best thing that could have happened.

Clive's grandma has someone her own age she can talk to. They can compare their

family, talk about how things used to be. That's what I mean.

What? Didn't I tell you?

I told you. Told me?

Clive Grant is German.

He flew over yesterday.

Well, that doesn't matter, does it?

I'll put it on you don't mind, do you? This is the bit where Julie Andrews

nearly gets shot when the Nazis walk into Austria.

Well, actually, Mum...

haven't we, Jen?

We want to not watch it this time, so we'll really enjoy it the next time it

comes on. Oh, all right. I'll put it on BBC One. It's just starting there. What

is? The Great Escape.

Ben? Just a minute.

Pugsley? Yep?

I've got 672 millimetres. What have you got?

Two foot nine.

What's going on?

Oh, yes.

What?

Somebody's blocked off a section of this room.

Well, don't look at me.

It's probably a hangover from the previous occupants.

Was that their name?

We can't fit the shower tray in this corner like this.

There's only one thing for it. Oh, great.

We're going to rip it down and pull it out. Oh, no, Ben.

You want this finished, don't you?

I suppose so.

What was it you wanted, anyway?

My mother's arrived.

Well, you keep her downstairs.

There's going to be a lot of debris.

Right.

Let's kick wall.

What is he saying? He's busy. He can't hear.

Can't we just send her up there? No, he's got a hammer. Oh, God.

Look, don't panic. I'm sure it'll be all right. We're probably worried about

nothing at all.

That's the Commandant.

He's a nasty piece of work.

He keeps locking up Steve McQueen and Shuey McPhee from Crossroads.

Typical of the SS.

Why don't we put the TV off, Mum?

Why not?

I had enough of the Germans in 1939.

Yes, but that's all done with now and in the past, isn't it?

No. After all, the Germans are our partners in the European Union.

I've heard they're all really nice people.

Well, of course. They have that wonderful history of great classical

er... Black Forest Ghetto? Where would we be without that?

And they're all very peace -loving now.

Looked at all like they used to be all that very long time ago.

Oh, yes. Well, so they'd have you believe.

What do you mean?

I don't think the Germans ever change.

You can never trust them.

Yes, you can, Gran. They're different now.

That's what they say about the Japanese.

I don't trust them either.

I mean, how can you trust a nation who invented karate?

You see, you're standing there in your pyjamas, look like you're going to bed.

And then suddenly it's... And

you kick them in the balls.

Mum! No.

They don't change.

All they understand is a good slap on the backside.

And if a German walked through that door right now, that's exactly what

I'd give them.

Another triumph for British tolerance.

What were you expecting?

I'll get the sugar. I'll help you.

Now, what are we going to do? They'll be here in ten minutes.

Look, we've just had to make sure we keep our awful subject at the wall.

It's the celebration of the ending of the war.

They're going to have street parties in the East End and everybody's dressed up

in army uniforms and it's going to be on BBC Two all day.

It's not plaster.

Looks like concrete. Nobody makes interior walls out of concrete.

Ah, it's not budging. Pass me the big hammer.

How's it going?

I was in the kitchen with Tony, showing him how saucepans should be properly

cleaned.

No.

That's more like it.

What was that?

Just a small meteorite hitting the house.

I'd like you to do me a big favour.

What? Guess what's happened here.

Give me a clue.

She's small, she's round, she's 40 pence a pound.

Bet. come over for a surprise visit.

You need to get rid of it for a while before Clive's German grandmother

You can guess why.

Oh, I know.

Aunty Pearl will do two hours on goebbels if you mention German measles.

Mum! Could you come round and say, Aunty Pearl's invited her round to yours for

a cup of tea. It'll only be for an hour or so.

That's a good idea. Then they'll leave us both alone.

I'll just put my shoes on. Rona!

Hang on. What? I think she's escaped.

The one I never liked was Goebbels. Oh, no.

Horrible man. Nasty piece of work. Was he the fat one or the one with the

glasses? I'm not sure.

But he was the one with no balls at all, if you will.

He was the head of the Air Force, wasn't he? No!

That was the other nasty piece of work. Goering. He was the worst of the lot.

He was responsible for those...

Terrible things that blew over. The V1. And the V2. And the victory. Oh,

terrible. Oh,

there you are, Auntie. I wonder where you've gone.

I shan't be long.

We're just waiting for Vera Lynn.

Vera Lynn. Oh, that brings back memories.

Down in the Anderson shelter with a lantern.

And when you came up, you weren't sure you'd find your house or a big hole.

Did I mention she comes from Dredden?

Talking about bombs reminds me this whole street was littered with

bombs.

Bombs everywhere.

Exploded and unexploded.

Well, why don't we talk about something more cheerful?

Yes, after all, we don't want to spend the whole day talking about the war, do

we? No, no, I think Gran's right.

I think you should spend the whole day remembering things.

That's why Rona came over, isn't it? To invite you both over.

That's right.

Why don't you come to my place and watch the whole thing in peace?

Oh, would you mind, Bill? It's going on till five o 'clock.

No, not at all. You go and enjoy yourself, Mum. Oh, no.

I couldn't drag you away on bank holiday.

No, we don't mind. All we want's what's nicest for you.

Well, very thoughtful of you.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm sorry for Jen. She wouldn't see her old gran.

Oh, I don't mind, honestly.

Oh, right.

Now, where's my handbag? Oh, here's my cardigan. Well, that's all decided.

in deep darkness.

Hello,

I'm

Bill. Hi, you must be Sophie.

This is Jenny.

Pleased to meet you.

might go in via the garden as it's so nice this way it's such a lovely day

just round here i'm sure you'll like it

We'll be off then, shall we? Okay.

Come on.

Not a moment to lose.

Let's get our skates on. I don't want to miss the land, girls.

More than the Americans did.

Interesting. Very interesting.

A net built by a mutant who wakes up every 50 years to beat people's livers.

A water tank.

Oh, that's not interesting.

There must have been a bathroom in here before.

Empty or not?

Yeah, I suppose so. You know where they are.

Thanks. I'll do something grudgingly for you sometime.

This way.

Do you often go in this way?

Oh, yes, we use it all the time in the nice weather.

Watch out for that.

Here we are.

Sorry. Wrong gate.

Here we are.

This way.

This is it.

Oh dear.

Never mind.

I'll put the kettle on. Do sit down.

Are you all right?

Oh, yeah.

Quite an adventure.

Could I possibly use the bathroom?

Of course. I'll show you.

Clive, we forgot Gran's cushion.

Oh, that is all right.

I'll get it.

Shall I have another go?

If you like.

Be careful to keep it over the joists. Right.

We may have to hack away more wool.

Dad, Clive's gran's going now.

Oh. You're coming. In a minute.

How'd it go?

Good thing she saw the funny side.

Yeah?

She's quite amazing, really.

Jane, um...

I was wondering, does this mean that you and... No, don't get all panicky.

There's plenty of time.

I wouldn't bet on it. You're not getting any younger.

Come on, your mum will be worrying.

They'll be down in a second.

Thanks for everything, Bill. We had a lovely day.

Good.

I'm sorry about Hitler.

I really didn't know it was happening.

Forget about it.

I look forward to meeting your mother the next time.

Yes.

Bye, Sophie.

Goodbye. I'm sorry about Hitler.

Don't worry.

Jenny, I hope you will forgive an old lady. But before I go, I would like you

have this.

It was my own grandmother's.

No. Ah, I mean it.

The thing is, Sophie, don't you think you should hold on to it for a while?

After all, a lot might happen before I might ever use it. No.

Let me tell you all.

There is one thing that anyone, wherever they have come from, whoever has lived

through a war knows.

Show how you feel now.

Today.

You never know, the next bomb might fall on you.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0