Original subtitles

Where are you going?

To see Mum. She's got the flu. She needs peace and quiet.

Oh, I'm going in. No, you're not. It's fine. Oh, no, you're not. Let go of my

arm.

Yeah, let's keep going.

With you.

When Mum finds out, she'll go nuclear.

With you? I'm telling her it wasn't me. No, we don't want her worrying about

anything. Jenny!

Now you've woken her up.

Just put something over it for the moment.

Jenny!

going on out there?

Oh, nothing. It's probably just the builders.

Oh, when did they arrive?

I've been asleep.

Oh, ages ago.

What are they doing?

Building. Would you like some more tea?

Oh, yes, please.

Well, if you want anything else, just let me know.

Well, I would like...

Come on.

What's been going on on the landing?

The landing?

I've come to cheer you up. Don't put your feet on the bed.

Why not?

You've already sneezed phlegm all over it. I've got the phlegm.

It's tuberculosis.

It's come back again, you know. So did Torval and Dean, but I don't want to be

in bed with them.

Pass the tissues.

Can I look at it?

No.

I wish I could be ill in this room.

Why?

Rear window.

What?

In Alfred Hitchcock's rear window, Jimmy Stewart's ill, and he spends his time

looking in people's windows with his telescopic lens.

Oh, really?

And the man over the road has just murdered his wife and put the pieces in

fat trunk.

That's how they catch him.

Well, this is cheering me up. Of course.

Jimmy Stewart saw him clean the blood -stained axe in the kitchen. Can you go

and see if Jenny's made my tea yet?

All right.

You feeling better?

A bit. Good.

Oh, I'd better leave you this.

I don't want it, thank you. You need it to see properly.

Hello! Dad's back.

I can't see the van.

Perhaps he's chopped it up and put it in a Ford Fiesta.

Don't forget my tea.

I won't.

Hi. Hi.

Christine's doing a leaky radiator on her own.

She dropped me off.

How are you feeling?

Oh, not much better.

Oh, sorry.

I'm still hot and I get dizzy when I stand up.

Don't I get a kiss?

I don't want to catch it. It sounds awful.

No.

All right, then.

Thanks. You haven't eaten your breakfast?

No, I didn't feel like it.

Well, we can't have that.

I was going to have it later.

We'll save you some.

Ben, what's been going on out there?

What do you mean?

Is there something I ought to know?

What kind of something?

I thought I heard something breaking.

Did you notice anything when you came upstairs?

Oh, that.

What? No, I didn't see anything.

Ben? Look, there'll be plenty of time to worry about that when you're better,

OK? Why? What's happened?

Nothing much.

Let's forget about it.

All right.

What did you think I meant?

When? I don't know.

Are you sure everything's all right?

Yes, everything is fine.

What's that?

It's the builders.

What are they doing?

They're drilling.

They'll stop in a minute.

See?

have finished all that?

All right.

You go and find out what's happening.

Nothing is happening. I want to know.

Well, can I get you something? Do you want tea or something?

Yes, please.

Ben? Yeah?

If Christine dropped you off, how come David didn't see the van?

Um, I, uh, had to collect some before I came.

Dad, you have to tell her. She'll be up there for days. She'll never know. She's

already worried about the movement and the thing on the stairs.

But this is different. She'll want to know.

No, Jen. She's feeling rotten at the moment. I don't know the heart.

It would be much better if you just go straight up there and tell her.

It's all right.

Must have just fallen over again.

Put it back.

I'll try it up in a minute.

Hi. Hi.

How are you feeling now?

Terrible.

Well, you just have to relax till you get better.

How can I relax with all these things going on? What things?

I don't know what things. That's why I can't relax.

I can't move. I can't work. All I can do is lie here and worry.

Watch the telly. I did.

And that's another thing.

Whatever is... Captain Bird's eye doing on that boat with all those children?

There's Anne and Nick.

I'm just ill. I'm not brain dead yet.

I've got a catering job to sort out, the house to do. I need to know what's

happening down there. Nothing's happening.

Ben. No, there really is nothing.

All right, there's something.

I couldn't even eat the breakfast cereal. I'm hardly going to fancy

basket.

It's the Grimes' cat.

They've gone on holiday.

What?

Well, they don't know.

Despite my reservations, Leonard has persuaded me to entrust you with the

of no drop while we are circumparambulating Lake Lucerne.

Why can't she just walk round it like everyone else?

Please ensure she...

always rings several times in red, remains inside your house until we

avoid the likes of certain unfortunate circumstances we scarcely need to

mention. Ben, how could you do this?

Well, I did it to prove that it'll be safe with us.

But it isn't safe with us.

Nothing's safe with us.

I'd rather have a big sign -up, Bill and Ben Porter Pet Cemetery, by appointment

to Stephen King.

put down last time they went away.

You know what happened to the goldfish.

Even David's gerbil went up the vacuum cleaner.

I knew I shouldn't have told you.

No, I want to be told things.

Just make sure nothing goes wrong this time, please.

I promise.

You worry too much.

Not yet, no.

Will you send one of the kids up in a minute? I've got to ring Rona about

Right -o!

seen if Rona was up.

I see.

I was making a shopping list earlier. Could one of you go to the supermarket?

I can't. I'm waiting for Clive to get back to ringing.

Well, send David then.

Is there any milk in the fridge?

You can't get to the fridge.

Why can't you get to the fridge?

There's no floor.

No floor?

The builders are worrying something.

I'm sure it's all right.

Oh, no.

Well, get milk anyway.

Why did nobody tell me about this floor?

We didn't want to worry you.

Like about the splintered banners, did you mean?

It was an accident.

I know.

I don't mind things.

I like knowing.

About everything.

Understand?

Yes, I think so.

Good.

Well, I'll get David to get this lot right away.

I'm sure he won't mind.

Are you going to be on forever?

Where's the cat gone?

Well, isn't it in the house?

I don't think so.

Don't drop.

Come here, boy.

Come on.

Come on, Snowden. Come on.

Come to Uncle Ben.

Gracious townhouse.

Style and elegance in the heart of Holland Park for actress, stroke, super

Andushka Hemple at home in Oxfordshire. Chic meets country style charisma

and class for actress, stroke, designer.

Joseph Mengele's cottage in Hampstead. It's chintz, china and horrific surgical

implements all the way for happy -go -lucky actress -stroke Nazi war

Bill Porter's bedroom in Chiswick.

Dirty teacups and snotty tissues for washed -out wife.

Oh, she must be up by now.

She's answering the door then.

equipment for Tony

Oh, sorry.

I was in the bathroom.

How are you feeling?

Oh, about the same.

Oh, sorry. I said I'd come over and talk about the job, didn't I?

Oh, that's all right. If you and Tony are busy.

Tony? Oh, he's not here.

He's gone away for a few days.

Oh, but... Nothing.

I... Sorry, I thought he was with you.

You know we've got to hand that party estimate in by tomorrow.

Oh, of course.

I'll come over in a while, shall I?

There's just something I have to get out of the way.

Right.

The builders have gone home for today now.

Have they finished putting the floor back?

As far as I can tell.

Mum, you did say it was better for you to know things rather than to worry

them. Yes.

If I tell you something, do you promise not to get hysterical?

Look at me. Can you make do with a coughing fit?

Clive and I nearly had sex last week.

Nearly?

I made him stop after, you know, the opening bit.

He wasn't very pleased.

I can imagine.

Next time it's going to be more difficult.

I don't know what to do.

I mean, I know what to do, obviously, but... I'm not sure.

Oh, I don't know.

Mum, I'm telling you, I might have sex with my boyfriend.

Aren't you going to say something?

Well, what do you want me to say?

That I forbid you to see him again?

That'd let everybody off the hook, wouldn't it?

But only for this time.

I do love him.

I think.

And I want to make him happy.

And does he love you?

He says so.

I mean, I'd have to see about contraceptives and everything.

But there's nothing to stop us, really, is there?

Nothing at all.

It's... It isn't compulsory, you know.

If you don't want to yet and he really loves you, he'll understand.

Will he?

Of course he will.

Talk to him.

What if he dumps me?

Well, then you'll know, won't you?

What? That he didn't really love you at all.

But I'm sure he does.

Thanks,

Mum. You're welcome.

And remember, it's easier to say no at the beginning.

Men are like steam engines.

Once they've got their head up, it's very difficult to stop them going

somewhere.

And thank you for trusting me.

That's all right.

I thought, since you heard it all on the phone anyway, it was the best thing.

Come on.

Oh,

God.

I'm coming.

If that's Jehovah's Witnesses, I'll show them where Jesus is.

Shut the door before anyone sees me. What happened?

Bill, it's no good. I've got to tell... someone. I'm going frantic.

Sit down.

I wasn't exactly telling the truth earlier on.

I couldn't come over because I had to get rid of Tony.

I didn't want anyone to suspect I was smuggling him out of the house.

Where have you taken him? Back to his flat.

Don't worry, no one will ever suspect he was at my place. I've been very

careful.

What do you mean? How did what happen?

I don't think I understand.

It's Gillian.

Gillian? Tony's ex -wife.

She'll never believe it's all over. She's supposed to have gone to Canada,

just know she's a comeback.

Why would she do that?

She's a sad, obsessed woman, Bill.

She'll never understand I only want him for his sperm.

She's tracked me down and she's out there waiting.

Oh, is it?

Well, consider the fact.

First, someone kept ringing on the phone when Tony and I were in bed.

That was me.

Then, someone arranged for a parcel addressed to Tony to be delivered to my

address. That was you.

Well, then how do you explain that ever since I got up this morning, I've had

this feeling that someone somewhere is watching everything I do?

Oh, you're up.

What's that all over you?

Oh, it's just the splashes to me.

Hi, Dad.

What have you been doing?

No need to panic. The main thing is, this is safe.

Aren't you Snowdrop?

Hello.

Come on.

That isn't Snowdrop.

Snowdrop is white. Why do you think she called it Snowdrop?

Come and have a look what the builders have done.

Snowdrop again. Come on, Puss.

Snowdrop.

God.

Snowdrop. It's beautiful.

They've done all this in the last two days.

Yep. We're in business.

Snowdrop.

Snowdrop.

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