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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:31,860 Mm -hmm. 2 00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:34,880 Yes, I know. 3 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,500 So how many burners do they have in the community centre kitchen? 4 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:40,940 Hmm. 5 00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:44,500 Well, I assume there is, but we've never done hot food before. 6 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,140 Well, can you call in on your way back? 7 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:51,400 Oh, and try the oven. 8 00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:53,140 Yeah. 9 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,140 Bill, are you there? 10 00:00:56,820 --> 00:00:58,800 Coming! Rona, can you call me back? 11 00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:03,220 Can anybody hear me? I'm coming! 12 00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:06,520 No! 13 00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:10,100 I forgot my keys! 14 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,640 David! David, 15 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:15,840 get down here! 16 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,360 Why are you on the floor? 17 00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,000 Open the front door! 18 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,680 Why? Open it! 19 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,640 Hi. Hi, Dad. 20 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,639 Where's your mum? 21 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:28,640 On the floor. 22 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,170 think of? I thought you were out. 23 00:01:42,410 --> 00:01:43,550 There must have been another way. 24 00:01:43,790 --> 00:01:47,070 I could hardly go next door and ask to go through the back, could I? No, 25 00:01:47,070 --> 00:01:49,210 you broke into their house three weeks ago. 26 00:01:49,550 --> 00:01:52,770 It wasn't that. It's because we left them tied up for 48 hours trying to dial 27 00:01:52,770 --> 00:01:55,850 with a pencil in their mouth. Oh, the sticky blaster came loose eventually. 28 00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:13,650 Yeah, I'm just trying to part her legs with a fish slice. 29 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:47,978 What junction box? 30 00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:51,800 Outside the bedroom window. You can see where the wire comes out. Oh, this is so 31 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:52,800 frustrating! 32 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,120 Well, I could... No! 33 00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:58,060 If Pelican know you've touched it, they refuse to mend it. 34 00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,600 This is our biggest job. I need the phone. 35 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,980 Look, if you really want to help, go and ring the engineers again. 36 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:06,440 All right. 37 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:08,680 What's this? 38 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,900 Oh, David's been bringing them home and hiding them up. 39 00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:22,550 Not a son of mine. 40 00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:24,530 A metalhead. 41 00:03:25,150 --> 00:03:27,130 Well, you saw that thing he was wearing. 42 00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:29,750 Yeah, but I thought it was just a transvestite. This is sick. 43 00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:32,870 Ben. 44 00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:35,110 You forgot your key. 45 00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:44,410 OK, 46 00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:48,630 so we grill the chicken peakers while the pies heat up, then serve them with 47 00:03:48,630 --> 00:03:51,340 dips? No, we need the oven next. for garlic bread. 48 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:52,920 We need something else to grill. 49 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,440 Sausages? No, someone has to be in there to turn them every few minutes. 50 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:57,359 You'll be in there? 51 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,180 No, I'll be passing around the takers. 52 00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:02,140 Christine can pass around the takers. She'll be getting out the pies. 53 00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:05,040 No, bringing back the tartlets. Oh, you're right. 54 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,240 I know. 55 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:10,980 What if we tenderise the takers when the tartlets return, move back the 56 00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:13,420 munchies, stick on the sausages while we pop in the pies? 57 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:18,620 Listen, Danny Kaye, whichever way you put it, we need another person that we 58 00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:19,620 can't afford. 59 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,820 Unless we had any other ideas for sale briefs. 60 00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:56,370 Exercising about marrying someone, you try writing your name only with his 61 00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:58,790 surname, just to see what it looks like. 62 00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:00,150 Yes. 63 00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:02,670 Well, I was just doing that. 64 00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:04,250 Only with babies. 65 00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:06,170 What? 66 00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:13,710 I just wanted to see what one would look like if I had one with 67 00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:14,710 somebody. 68 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,190 See? 69 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,490 Cruz's chin, Mickey Rourke's eyes. 70 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,070 And Bruce Willis's hair. 71 00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,330 It's not a joke. Well, what is it then? 72 00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:30,150 I want to have one. 73 00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:32,790 Before it's too late. 74 00:05:33,390 --> 00:05:34,910 Have you told Rob, Tom and Mickey? 75 00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:39,010 I knew it. I knew you'd laugh at me. 76 00:05:39,790 --> 00:05:41,270 Well, it's all right for you. 77 00:05:41,770 --> 00:05:44,730 You're not single with your biological clock ticking. 78 00:05:45,450 --> 00:05:47,350 Well, I'm sorry. 79 00:05:47,610 --> 00:05:48,610 I understand. 80 00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:50,110 It's just, um... 81 00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:53,130 What I mean is... Who? 82 00:05:54,390 --> 00:05:55,390 Don't worry. 83 00:05:55,470 --> 00:05:57,770 I'm not going to embarrass everybody with another wedding. 84 00:05:58,270 --> 00:05:59,750 I'm going to a sperm bank. 85 00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:05,230 And you're going to say, have you got any donors that look like this? 86 00:06:06,170 --> 00:06:07,170 Why not? 87 00:06:07,570 --> 00:06:09,350 Well, it's silly. 88 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:14,050 No, it isn't. You can choose the characteristics of the donor. That's not 89 00:06:14,050 --> 00:06:15,050 what I mean. 90 00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:18,630 Rona, a father's more than just a sperm. 91 00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:32,830 Talk about this after the job. 92 00:06:34,390 --> 00:06:35,790 Did you ring telecom? 93 00:06:36,030 --> 00:06:38,930 Yeah, the phone box was broken. I had to go away to home care. And? They can't 94 00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:39,829 come till Saturday. 95 00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:42,290 The job's on Saturday. I need a phone. 96 00:06:42,790 --> 00:06:43,970 Close your eyes and hold out your hands. 97 00:06:44,190 --> 00:06:45,630 Close yours and undo your flies. 98 00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:47,770 Bought my surprise. 99 00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:49,330 A mobile. 100 00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:52,530 Yeah, it's Brian's. Met him in home care by the formica. 101 00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:54,230 He said you could borrow it. 102 00:06:54,650 --> 00:06:56,930 Every bill shows all the calls so you can pay him for the ones you make. 103 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,150 And Tina won't mind? 104 00:06:58,810 --> 00:06:59,810 No, probably not. 105 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:02,859 I should be going. 106 00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:05,660 Burrow. I've got to get to the bank before it closes. 107 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:07,500 Wheat Bank. 108 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,640 The Bank Bank. 109 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,760 What does she mean, the Bank Bank? Oh, that's the least of our worries. I don't 110 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,660 care about your stupid football. Oh, Jane. 111 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,160 Look, if you'd rather kick a stupid ball about than see me, well, I can't stop 112 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,540 you. Oh, come on, it's only once. That's how it starts. 113 00:07:26,060 --> 00:07:27,860 Well, as far as I'm concerned, it's over. 114 00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:58,250 You're, um, free on Saturday, then. 115 00:08:10,670 --> 00:08:14,150 We're back. 116 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:17,830 Hello? 117 00:08:21,850 --> 00:08:23,550 What is it you want to tell me? 118 00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:49,750 I think so. 119 00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:51,170 It's Saturday. 120 00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:53,350 Oh, no. 121 00:08:54,390 --> 00:08:57,790 I've got to pick up the bread and call Rona and load up the car. 122 00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:01,410 Bill. And the sausages have to be cut up and put on the tray. And I have to... 123 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:08,230 Phone the bride's mother and make sure she gets the kids. 124 00:09:08,850 --> 00:09:09,950 This is the job. 125 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,510 No, it isn't. 126 00:09:11,930 --> 00:09:12,930 More than that. 127 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:14,510 The job. 128 00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,310 What do you mean, the job? 129 00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:20,160 The job that shows me whether this is the right thing for me to be doing. 130 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,300 I don't know how to explain. 131 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,120 Look, it's just you and some other women doing what they always do. 132 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:27,480 Only as a business. 133 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,020 Is it? 134 00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:31,580 Isn't it? 135 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:38,040 Ben, am I kidding myself? This is what I want to do with my life. 136 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,900 Look, you can do it. 137 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:56,880 a few of them out there now. 138 00:09:57,300 --> 00:10:00,260 Christine, take these in straight away, will you? I'm still fiddling with my 139 00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:01,520 penny. Now, please. 140 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,800 I don't need the money, you know. I'm only doing this because I'm nice 141 00:10:08,260 --> 00:10:11,020 Yes, and Michael Jackson's got a skin condition. 142 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:13,280 More coming in. 143 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,960 Jenny, take this one in, will you? 144 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,020 Last Saturday, I had a life. 145 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,300 This Saturday, my mother's got me piping off Romanian Acides Vermante, a 146 00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:24,260 champagne. Oh, God. Rona, will you get the other bottle? 147 00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:32,050 watching out there? 148 00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:33,330 I don't know. 149 00:10:33,630 --> 00:10:34,830 She's wearing yellow. 150 00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:37,770 Are you really serious about this? 151 00:10:38,050 --> 00:10:39,230 Why shouldn't I be? 152 00:10:39,530 --> 00:10:43,490 I don't know. Just thought it might be one of your whims. 153 00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:47,990 What do you mean one of my whims? I don't have whims. 154 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,190 What? 155 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:53,530 Nothing. Just that usually when it's that time. 156 00:10:53,930 --> 00:10:54,930 What time? 157 00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:56,070 You know. 158 00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,940 Well, they're... But tomorrow morning they'll wake up feeling like Ceausescu. 159 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:02,560 As he is now. 160 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:03,780 Well, how many more do we need? 161 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:06,940 I don't know. Can't we hand out the bottles and let them fight for it? No! 162 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:11,120 If I wanted to balance classes all day, I would have become a performing bloody 163 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,120 seal. 164 00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:14,580 Oh, that's fine. 165 00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:16,700 No, she's always like that. Is she? 166 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,000 I think she's had her hormones taken out and replaced with metal ones. 167 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,300 your life in Japan saving dolphins. 168 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:33,400 By the end of the week, you were back to saying flippers should be minced up and 169 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,260 made into cat food if you didn't stop that stupid squeaking. 170 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:37,880 I meant well. 171 00:11:38,020 --> 00:11:41,000 You're getting like my doctor. You go in there with an axe embedded in your 172 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,400 chest. He says, oh, that's just PMT. I'll give you some value. 173 00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:45,180 You're lucky. 174 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,320 My doctor's never even heard of PMT. 175 00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:50,760 Probably thinks it's the anti -lock braking system on a Vauxhall Senate. 176 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,000 Well, at least my PMT doesn't make me snap at everybody. 177 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,160 I don't snap at everybody. 178 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:58,640 Mum! 179 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,340 Don't shout at me. I can't help it. 180 00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:02,820 I'm sorry. 181 00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:04,020 What's the matter? 182 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,640 I nearly slipped through the tray. 183 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:06,880 It's all right. 184 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:10,180 It's a polished floor and I'm wearing these stupid shoes. Don't worry. Just 185 00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:13,180 relax. You'll be fine. One more left. Off you go. I'm sorry. 186 00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:15,660 Is that how she gets? 187 00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:18,960 Yes. Oh, I don't know. It's all so confusing. 188 00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:23,240 Look, just trust me on this. See if you feel the same way at the end of the 189 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,160 week. I suppose so. And I will try not to snap, deal? 190 00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:33,230 Now let's just keep calm, concentrate on the job in hand. 191 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,560 I'll take these. 192 00:15:15,020 --> 00:15:16,020 What's the matter? 193 00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:19,260 I know everyone thinks I'm a bit of a joke. 194 00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:41,170 and I know what he wants. 195 00:17:57,230 --> 00:17:59,710 with all this crap. They'll probably be divorced by Christmas. 196 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:52,640 Arsenal supporters Hi 197 00:18:52,640 --> 00:19:06,420 mate 198 00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:15,480 And, of course, you know my husband, Jim. 199 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:17,020 How do you do? Can I tempt you? 200 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,240 Oh, thank you. 201 00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:22,440 We've driven up from Swindon this morning. 202 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,120 What was the traffic like? 203 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,440 Very bad. 204 00:19:27,740 --> 00:19:29,620 Oh, would you care for another? 205 00:19:30,180 --> 00:19:31,180 Thank you. 206 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:37,600 The traffic was very bad the moment we hit town. Yeah, it always is these days. 207 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:41,160 I think the... Here I am again. 208 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:44,819 Thank you. 209 00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:46,440 Can I have one, please? 210 00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:48,280 I suppose so. 211 00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:53,400 Excuse me. Rona, have you seen the mobile phone? 212 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,680 No. Can you take over in the kitchen? 213 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:56,899 Yes. 214 00:19:56,900 --> 00:20:01,380 You two look like a pair of soggy underpants left on the line in the 215 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,980 There's one thing that really gets on my tits. It's miserable salt. 216 00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:19,190 watch these sausages and keep turning them. I don't want them to stick. 217 00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:23,110 Oh, she's right behind me. 218 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:26,110 I'll get her. 219 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,410 So, where's the phone? 220 00:20:29,850 --> 00:20:31,890 Oh, it must be under something. I'll find it later. 221 00:21:36,330 --> 00:21:37,330 Sausages need pricking. 222 00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:40,070 You mustn't prick sausages. They'll look all messy. 223 00:21:45,530 --> 00:21:46,590 I'll be back in a minute. 224 00:21:49,630 --> 00:21:53,150 Can I help you? 225 00:21:53,490 --> 00:21:54,490 I'm looking for Jenny. 226 00:21:59,950 --> 00:22:00,950 Oh. 227 00:22:01,610 --> 00:22:02,610 It's you. 228 00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:26,120 counter at home care. 229 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,280 I knew it would be. 230 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:34,940 Brian's building a combination wet bar and showcase for his beer mats in the 231 00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:35,940 gazebo. 232 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,620 I knew it'd be some silly man. 233 00:23:26,700 --> 00:23:27,700 better off not knowing. 234 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:32,060 under the first request from a lovely lady called Rona. And she says, can I 235 00:24:32,060 --> 00:24:33,380 a sample of your sperm? 236 00:26:11,020 --> 00:26:15,760 together and when 237 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:45,840 Rubbish. David! 238 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,580 We'll unload the car tomorrow. 239 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:55,280 David! Turn that thing off unless you want to see the stairway to heaven. 240 00:26:56,340 --> 00:26:57,340 Bummer, dude. 241 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,800 While you're up there, will you paint the ceiling? What? 242 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,000 Nothing. 243 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,600 Is she on drugs or has he kissed her again? Nothing you say or do is going to 244 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,400 upset me. That's a challenge I like. 245 00:27:09,220 --> 00:27:10,220 Where's your father? 246 00:27:10,420 --> 00:27:11,420 Haven't seen him. 247 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,700 Do you know a deaf leopard drummer's got no arms? 248 00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:17,620 Really? I don't suppose your Auntie Tina rang. I've been trying to get a hold of 249 00:27:17,620 --> 00:27:20,220 her. The phone man did come, but no one away again. 250 00:27:21,420 --> 00:27:22,420 Oh, no! 251 00:27:30,140 --> 00:27:33,180 He's been fiddling with that bloody wire and then I'll kill him! 252 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:36,720 Still a bath. 253 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:37,960 How'd it go? 254 00:27:39,790 --> 00:27:41,390 of something down here. Oh? 255 00:27:41,770 --> 00:27:43,670 How did they get there? Well, I can't imagine. 17833