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1
00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:31,910
Mm -hmm.
2
00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:34,880
Yes, I know.
3
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,110
So how many burners do they have in the
community centre kitchen?
4
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:40,990
Hmm.
5
00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:45,090
Well, I assume there is, but we've never
done hot food before.
6
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,140
Well, can you call in on your way back?
7
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:51,400
Oh, and try the oven.
8
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:53,190
Yeah.
9
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,150
Bill, are you there?
10
00:00:56,820 --> 00:00:58,800
Coming! Rona, can you call me back?
11
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:03,220
Can anybody hear me? I'm coming!
12
00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:06,569
No!
13
00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:10,100
I forgot my keys!
14
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,640
David! David,
15
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:15,890
get down here!
16
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,360
Why are you on the floor?
17
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,000
Open the front door!
18
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,680
Why? Open it!
19
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,640
Hi. Hi, Dad.
20
00:01:26,641 --> 00:01:27,639
Where's your mum?
21
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:28,690
On the floor.
22
00:01:39,411 --> 00:01:42,409
think of? I thought you were out.
23
00:01:42,410 --> 00:01:43,789
There must have been another way.
24
00:01:43,790 --> 00:01:47,069
I could hardly go next door and ask to
go through the back, could I? No,
25
00:01:47,070 --> 00:01:49,240
you broke into their house three weeks
ago.
26
00:01:49,241 --> 00:01:52,769
It wasn't that. It's because we left
them tied up for 48 hours trying to dial
27
00:01:52,770 --> 00:01:56,500
with a pencil in their mouth. Oh, the
sticky blaster came loose eventually.
28
00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:14,720
Yeah, I'm just trying to part her legs
with a fish slice.
29
00:02:46,191 --> 00:02:47,979
What junction box?
30
00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:51,799
Outside the bedroom window. You can see
where the wire comes out. Oh, this is so
31
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:52,850
frustrating!
32
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,170
Well, I could... No!
33
00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:58,060
If Pelican know you've touched it, they
refuse to mend it.
34
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,600
This is our biggest job. I need the
phone.
35
00:03:01,601 --> 00:03:05,439
Look, if you really want to help, go and
ring the engineers again.
36
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:06,490
All right.
37
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:08,730
What's this?
38
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,970
Oh, David's been bringing them home and
hiding them up.
39
00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:22,600
Not a son of mine.
40
00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:24,540
A metalhead.
41
00:03:25,150 --> 00:03:27,130
Well, you saw that thing he was wearing.
42
00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:30,320
Yeah, but I thought it was just a
transvestite. This is sick.
43
00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:32,920
Ben.
44
00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:35,110
You forgot your key.
45
00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:44,460
OK,
46
00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:48,629
so we grill the chicken peakers while
the pies heat up, then serve them with
47
00:03:48,630 --> 00:03:51,340
dips? No, we need the oven next. for
garlic bread.
48
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,200
We need something else to grill.
49
00:03:53,201 --> 00:03:56,679
Sausages? No, someone has to be in there
to turn them every few minutes.
50
00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:57,359
You'll be in there?
51
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,220
No, I'll be passing around the takers.
52
00:03:59,221 --> 00:04:02,339
Christine can pass around the takers.
She'll be getting out the pies.
53
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:05,040
No, bringing back the tartlets. Oh,
you're right.
54
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,290
I know.
55
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:10,979
What if we tenderise the takers when the
tartlets return, move back the
56
00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:13,839
munchies, stick on the sausages while we
pop in the pies?
57
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:18,619
Listen, Danny Kaye, whichever way you
put it, we need another person that we
58
00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:19,670
can't afford.
59
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,820
Unless we had any other ideas for sale
briefs.
60
00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:56,369
Exercising about marrying someone, you
try writing your name only with his
61
00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:58,790
surname, just to see what it looks like.
62
00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:00,200
Yes.
63
00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:02,670
Well, I was just doing that.
64
00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:04,250
Only with babies.
65
00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:06,220
What?
66
00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:13,709
I just wanted to see what one would look
like if I had one with
67
00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:14,760
somebody.
68
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,240
See?
69
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,770
Cruz's chin, Mickey Rourke's eyes.
70
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,070
And Bruce Willis's hair.
71
00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,330
It's not a joke. Well, what is it then?
72
00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:30,150
I want to have one.
73
00:05:31,690 --> 00:05:32,790
Before it's too late.
74
00:05:33,390 --> 00:05:35,070
Have you told Rob, Tom and Mickey?
75
00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:39,010
I knew it. I knew you'd laugh at me.
76
00:05:39,790 --> 00:05:41,270
Well, it's all right for you.
77
00:05:41,770 --> 00:05:44,730
You're not single with your biological
clock ticking.
78
00:05:45,450 --> 00:05:47,350
Well, I'm sorry.
79
00:05:47,610 --> 00:05:48,660
I understand.
80
00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:50,160
It's just, um...
81
00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:53,130
What I mean is... Who?
82
00:05:54,390 --> 00:05:55,440
Don't worry.
83
00:05:55,441 --> 00:05:58,269
I'm not going to embarrass everybody
with another wedding.
84
00:05:58,270 --> 00:05:59,750
I'm going to a sperm bank.
85
00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:05,230
And you're going to say, have you got
any donors that look like this?
86
00:06:06,170 --> 00:06:07,220
Why not?
87
00:06:07,570 --> 00:06:09,350
Well, it's silly.
88
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:14,049
No, it isn't. You can choose the
characteristics of the donor. That's not
89
00:06:14,050 --> 00:06:15,100
what I mean.
90
00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:18,630
Rona, a father's more than just a sperm.
91
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:33,230
Talk about this after the job.
92
00:06:34,390 --> 00:06:35,790
Did you ring telecom?
93
00:06:35,791 --> 00:06:38,929
Yeah, the phone box was broken. I had to
go away to home care. And? They can't
94
00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:39,829
come till Saturday.
95
00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:42,290
The job's on Saturday. I need a phone.
96
00:06:42,291 --> 00:06:44,189
Close your eyes and hold out your hands.
97
00:06:44,190 --> 00:06:45,750
Close yours and undo your flies.
98
00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:47,820
Bought my surprise.
99
00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:49,380
A mobile.
100
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:52,530
Yeah, it's Brian's. Met him in home care
by the formica.
101
00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:54,490
He said you could borrow it.
102
00:06:54,491 --> 00:06:57,149
Every bill shows all the calls so you
can pay him for the ones you make.
103
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,200
And Tina won't mind?
104
00:06:58,810 --> 00:06:59,860
No, probably not.
105
00:07:00,951 --> 00:07:02,859
I should be going.
106
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:05,660
Burrow. I've got to get to the bank
before it closes.
107
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:07,550
Wheat Bank.
108
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,640
The Bank Bank.
109
00:07:11,641 --> 00:07:17,759
What does she mean, the Bank Bank? Oh,
that's the least of our worries. I don't
110
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,870
care about your stupid football. Oh,
Jane.
111
00:07:19,871 --> 00:07:23,159
Look, if you'd rather kick a stupid ball
about than see me, well, I can't stop
112
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,750
you. Oh, come on, it's only once. That's
how it starts.
113
00:07:26,060 --> 00:07:28,110
Well, as far as I'm concerned, it's
over.
114
00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:58,250
You're, um, free on Saturday, then.
115
00:08:10,670 --> 00:08:14,150
We're back.
116
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:17,880
Hello?
117
00:08:21,850 --> 00:08:23,550
What is it you want to tell me?
118
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:49,800
I think so.
119
00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:51,220
It's Saturday.
120
00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:53,400
Oh, no.
121
00:08:54,390 --> 00:08:57,790
I've got to pick up the bread and call
Rona and load up the car.
122
00:08:57,791 --> 00:09:01,409
Bill. And the sausages have to be cut up
and put on the tray. And I have to...
123
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:08,230
Phone the bride's mother and make sure
she gets the kids.
124
00:09:08,850 --> 00:09:09,950
This is the job.
125
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,510
No, it isn't.
126
00:09:11,930 --> 00:09:12,980
More than that.
127
00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:14,560
The job.
128
00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,310
What do you mean, the job?
129
00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:20,750
The job that shows me whether this is
the right thing for me to be doing.
130
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,300
I don't know how to explain.
131
00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:26,479
Look, it's just you and some other women
doing what they always do.
132
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:27,530
Only as a business.
133
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,070
Is it?
134
00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:31,630
Isn't it?
135
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:38,040
Ben, am I kidding myself? This is what I
want to do with my life.
136
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,900
Look, you can do it.
137
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,140
a few of them out there now.
138
00:09:57,141 --> 00:10:00,259
Christine, take these in straight away,
will you? I'm still fiddling with my
139
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:01,520
penny. Now, please.
140
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,800
I don't need the money, you know. I'm
only doing this because I'm nice
141
00:10:08,260 --> 00:10:11,020
Yes, and Michael Jackson's got a skin
condition.
142
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:13,330
More coming in.
143
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,320
Jenny, take this one in, will you?
144
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,020
Last Saturday, I had a life.
145
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,299
This Saturday, my mother's got me piping
off Romanian Acides Vermante, a
146
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:24,260
champagne. Oh, God. Rona, will you get
the other bottle?
147
00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:32,100
watching out there?
148
00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:33,330
I don't know.
149
00:10:33,630 --> 00:10:34,830
She's wearing yellow.
150
00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:37,770
Are you really serious about this?
151
00:10:38,050 --> 00:10:39,230
Why shouldn't I be?
152
00:10:39,530 --> 00:10:43,490
I don't know. Just thought it might be
one of your whims.
153
00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:47,990
What do you mean one of my whims? I
don't have whims.
154
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,240
What?
155
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:53,530
Nothing. Just that usually when it's
that time.
156
00:10:53,930 --> 00:10:54,980
What time?
157
00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:56,120
You know.
158
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,940
Well, they're... But tomorrow morning
they'll wake up feeling like Ceausescu.
159
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:02,610
As he is now.
160
00:11:02,611 --> 00:11:04,099
Well, how many more do we need?
161
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:07,650
I don't know. Can't we hand out the
bottles and let them fight for it? No!
162
00:11:07,651 --> 00:11:11,119
If I wanted to balance classes all day,
I would have become a performing bloody
163
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,170
seal.
164
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:14,580
Oh, that's fine.
165
00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:16,700
No, she's always like that. Is she?
166
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,450
I think she's had her hormones taken out
and replaced with metal ones.
167
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,300
your life in Japan saving dolphins.
168
00:11:30,301 --> 00:11:33,399
By the end of the week, you were back to
saying flippers should be minced up and
169
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,410
made into cat food if you didn't stop
that stupid squeaking.
170
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:37,930
I meant well.
171
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,999
You're getting like my doctor. You go in
there with an axe embedded in your
172
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,950
chest. He says, oh, that's just PMT.
I'll give you some value.
173
00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:45,230
You're lucky.
174
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,320
My doctor's never even heard of PMT.
175
00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:51,330
Probably thinks it's the anti -lock
braking system on a Vauxhall Senate.
176
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,050
Well, at least my PMT doesn't make me
snap at everybody.
177
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,160
I don't snap at everybody.
178
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:58,690
Mum!
179
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,340
Don't shout at me. I can't help it.
180
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:02,870
I'm sorry.
181
00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:04,070
What's the matter?
182
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,879
I nearly slipped through the tray.
183
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:06,899
It's all right.
184
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:10,179
It's a polished floor and I'm wearing
these stupid shoes. Don't worry. Just
185
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:13,180
relax. You'll be fine. One more left.
Off you go. I'm sorry.
186
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:15,660
Is that how she gets?
187
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:18,960
Yes. Oh, I don't know. It's all so
confusing.
188
00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:23,239
Look, just trust me on this. See if you
feel the same way at the end of the
189
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,160
week. I suppose so. And I will try not
to snap, deal?
190
00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:33,230
Now let's just keep calm, concentrate on
the job in hand.
191
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,610
I'll take these.
192
00:15:15,020 --> 00:15:16,070
What's the matter?
193
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:19,260
I know everyone thinks I'm a bit of a
joke.
194
00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:41,310
and I know what he wants.
195
00:17:57,230 --> 00:18:00,360
with all this crap. They'll probably be
divorced by Christmas.
196
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:52,639
Arsenal supporters Hi
197
00:18:52,640 --> 00:19:06,420
mate
198
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:15,699
And, of course, you know my husband,
Jim.
199
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:17,140
How do you do? Can I tempt you?
200
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,290
Oh, thank you.
201
00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:22,510
We've driven up from Swindon this
morning.
202
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,360
What was the traffic like?
203
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,490
Very bad.
204
00:19:27,740 --> 00:19:29,620
Oh, would you care for another?
205
00:19:30,180 --> 00:19:31,230
Thank you.
206
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:37,599
The traffic was very bad the moment we
hit town. Yeah, it always is these days.
207
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:41,160
I think the... Here I am again.
208
00:19:42,831 --> 00:19:44,819
Thank you.
209
00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:46,440
Can I have one, please?
210
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:48,280
I suppose so.
211
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:53,400
Excuse me. Rona, have you seen the
mobile phone?
212
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,680
No. Can you take over in the kitchen?
213
00:19:55,681 --> 00:19:56,899
Yes.
214
00:19:56,900 --> 00:20:01,380
You two look like a pair of soggy
underpants left on the line in the
215
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,980
There's one thing that really gets on my
tits. It's miserable salt.
216
00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:19,190
watch these sausages and keep turning
them. I don't want them to stick.
217
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:23,110
Oh, she's right behind me.
218
00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:26,140
I'll get her.
219
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,410
So, where's the phone?
220
00:20:29,850 --> 00:20:32,320
Oh, it must be under something. I'll
find it later.
221
00:21:35,131 --> 00:21:37,429
Sausages need pricking.
222
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:40,070
You mustn't prick sausages. They'll look
all messy.
223
00:21:45,530 --> 00:21:46,670
I'll be back in a minute.
224
00:21:49,630 --> 00:21:53,150
Can I help you?
225
00:21:53,490 --> 00:21:54,570
I'm looking for Jenny.
226
00:21:59,950 --> 00:22:01,000
Oh.
227
00:22:01,610 --> 00:22:02,660
It's you.
228
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:26,150
counter at home care.
229
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,280
I knew it would be.
230
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:34,939
Brian's building a combination wet bar
and showcase for his beer mats in the
231
00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:35,990
gazebo.
232
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,620
I knew it'd be some silly man.
233
00:23:26,700 --> 00:23:27,840
better off not knowing.
234
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:32,059
under the first request from a lovely
lady called Rona. And she says, can I
235
00:24:32,060 --> 00:24:33,380
a sample of your sperm?
236
00:26:11,020 --> 00:26:15,760
together and when
237
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:45,890
Rubbish. David!
238
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,580
We'll unload the car tomorrow.
239
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:55,280
David! Turn that thing off unless you
want to see the stairway to heaven.
240
00:26:56,340 --> 00:26:57,390
Bummer, dude.
241
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,970
While you're up there, will you paint
the ceiling? What?
242
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,050
Nothing.
243
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,599
Is she on drugs or has he kissed her
again? Nothing you say or do is going to
244
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,400
upset me. That's a challenge I like.
245
00:27:09,220 --> 00:27:10,300
Where's your father?
246
00:27:10,420 --> 00:27:11,470
Haven't seen him.
247
00:27:11,471 --> 00:27:14,099
Do you know a deaf leopard drummer's got
no arms?
248
00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:17,619
Really? I don't suppose your Auntie Tina
rang. I've been trying to get a hold of
249
00:27:17,620 --> 00:27:20,220
her. The phone man did come, but no one
away again.
250
00:27:21,420 --> 00:27:22,470
Oh, no!
251
00:27:30,140 --> 00:27:33,390
He's been fiddling with that bloody wire
and then I'll kill him!
252
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:36,770
Still a bath.
253
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,010
How'd it go?
254
00:27:39,790 --> 00:27:41,390
of something down here. Oh?
255
00:27:41,391 --> 00:27:43,719
How did they get there? Well, I can't
imagine.
256
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:48,270
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