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1
00:00:38,750 --> 00:00:45,179
Why can't you have your off switch on
the same side as the old one?
2
00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:47,080
And why does it always stick?
3
00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:50,980
I've had just about enough of you.
4
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,290
Hypocrite.
5
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,340
Oh, I'm sorry.
6
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,160
You don't want to go in there, do you?
7
00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:07,670
I'm not surprised. It's been the death
of many a vacuum cleaner.
8
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:09,660
But that's the way it is.
9
00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:14,040
Stormy Norman had to go into Q8, and we
have to go into David's bedroom.
10
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:16,850
All right.
11
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:18,360
Stay behind me.
12
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,360
Oh, God.
13
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,020
The Secret Diary of David Porter.
14
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,020
Do not read.
15
00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,700
This story is true.
16
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,930
Only the names have been changed to
protect the innocent.
17
00:03:03,540 --> 00:03:04,880
This is where I live.
18
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,880
A seemingly normal family home in West
London.
19
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,380
There are five of us here. My mother,
the chief.
20
00:03:11,860 --> 00:03:12,960
She's about 50.
21
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:16,580
Then there's Dad.
22
00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:18,870
Tough, but tender.
23
00:03:20,630 --> 00:03:24,330
And of course, the floozy of the unit,
my sister.
24
00:03:24,950 --> 00:03:26,000
David!
25
00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:27,990
I'm the kid brother.
26
00:03:28,270 --> 00:03:29,320
A tough job.
27
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:30,750
Somebody's got to do it.
28
00:03:31,450 --> 00:03:35,469
Who would have thought to look at all
these ordinary people that this family's
29
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:39,110
hotbed of deceit, treachery, and willful
deception of others?
30
00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:40,420
Don't believe me?
31
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,210
Let me illustrate.
32
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,470
It all started innocently enough.
33
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:50,879
One day, while I was doing some routine
investigation... Oh,
34
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:55,199
my
35
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:59,320
God! What's that?
36
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:00,740
A lobotomy. Want one?
37
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,080
Where did you get it?
38
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:03,620
It's a sheep's brain.
39
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,370
Oh, going to replace yours with higher
life form?
40
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,520
Least I only have one tongue in my
mouth.
41
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:09,810
What do you mean?
42
00:04:10,340 --> 00:04:13,360
Sammy's cousin saw you in the Odin last
week with Ratface.
43
00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:14,710
In Snuggie's Corner.
44
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:17,860
If you say anything... Oh, oh, I'm
terrified.
45
00:04:17,861 --> 00:04:20,159
Yeah, well, just keep your mouth shut.
46
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,210
Unlike you, eh?
47
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,270
Snuggie's Corner.
48
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,610
Shut up!
49
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:25,650
Where's Mum?
50
00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:27,440
Out. Where is she?
51
00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:29,180
Handling her advertising.
52
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,120
I see you put a card in the window.
53
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,460
Er, yes.
54
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,820
Hop it. This is my pitch.
55
00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:52,880
Not much call for the Julie Andrews
type, anyway.
56
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:56,020
No, you don't understand.
57
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,400
I cater for parties. Don't we all in
this reception?
58
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:01,840
I'm waiting for a card.
59
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,000
No, it's my partner. She's picking me
up.
60
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,530
There she is.
61
00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:19,850
I quoted him 200 pounds for French, 150
for Greek, or 80 quid just for nibbles.
62
00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:25,590
What was that?
63
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:27,800
A tart.
64
00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:30,670
She thought we were tarts as well.
65
00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:34,750
That's a compliment, really, isn't it?
66
00:05:34,950 --> 00:05:36,000
Is it?
67
00:05:36,330 --> 00:05:39,570
Well, if you thought we looked like if
men would pay us for it.
68
00:05:40,650 --> 00:05:44,389
Rona. Men would pay to have it off with
Leon Britton if he told them they were
69
00:05:44,390 --> 00:05:45,440
good at it.
70
00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:51,890
Maybe if we get another job, I can
finally change this thing.
71
00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:53,670
Did he seem interested?
72
00:05:53,830 --> 00:05:54,880
Not really.
73
00:05:54,881 --> 00:05:58,149
I wouldn't have minded, but while I was
pitching, he insisted on watching me
74
00:05:58,150 --> 00:05:59,210
snickle to them.
75
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:00,960
Silly cow.
76
00:06:04,550 --> 00:06:07,590
See you to... Rona?
77
00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:11,210
man in your front room.
78
00:06:14,430 --> 00:06:15,480
Who is he?
79
00:06:17,070 --> 00:06:20,210
Nobody. Um, perhaps I will come in for a
moment.
80
00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:23,530
It's all right, he'll understand.
81
00:06:25,610 --> 00:06:28,150
She's on that bloody phone again, I'll
kill her.
82
00:06:45,710 --> 00:06:46,970
Last number redial.
83
00:06:47,330 --> 00:06:50,460
I'll get directory inquiries that I rang
last night, won't I?
84
00:06:51,190 --> 00:06:53,660
Hello, directory inquiries. What area,
please?
85
00:06:54,510 --> 00:06:56,620
I'm sorry, I was expecting somebody
else.
86
00:06:56,621 --> 00:06:57,669
That's all right.
87
00:06:57,670 --> 00:06:58,720
Bye, Jason.
88
00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:00,670
Bye, Mrs... Oh, hell!
89
00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:05,750
Just only a quick call. You realise
we're going to get itemised bills soon?
90
00:07:06,470 --> 00:07:08,250
There's no privacy in this place.
91
00:07:08,570 --> 00:07:10,330
It's like being in the royal family.
92
00:07:10,331 --> 00:07:14,009
Well, don't throw yourself down the
stairs. It only encourages the sun.
93
00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:15,570
Make me feel at home, don't you?
94
00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:16,710
Nice try, though.
95
00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:18,430
Be your nature.
96
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,190
Rona?
97
00:07:21,420 --> 00:07:22,470
Yes, right.
98
00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:24,600
You look as if you've seen a ghost.
99
00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:25,830
Perhaps I have.
100
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,250
Who was that?
101
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,020
I don't really want to talk about it.
102
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,400
Coffee or tea? Adam.
103
00:07:30,401 --> 00:07:31,679
What? Sorry?
104
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:32,730
You said Adam.
105
00:07:32,731 --> 00:07:33,799
I said coffee.
106
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,080
No, no, you said Adam.
107
00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:39,499
Shall we just forget about Adam for a
moment? You started it. Your men are
108
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:40,550
of my business.
109
00:07:40,780 --> 00:07:43,560
He is not one of my men.
110
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:44,920
Well, what is he then?
111
00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:46,360
Nobody. All right.
112
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,100
Mind if I have a brother?
113
00:07:50,020 --> 00:07:51,070
What did you say?
114
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,450
I only want one.
115
00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:53,860
You've got a brother?
116
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:57,600
Is he a sex maniac as well? What have
you been doing with my knife?
117
00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:58,870
Sorry, get a go.
118
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:01,680
I still have to wonder if that boy's got
a brain.
119
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,400
You never told me you had a brother.
120
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,080
No, I didn't.
121
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:08,980
You two had an argument.
122
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,120
You could say that.
123
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,660
Why don't you go over and see him?
124
00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:16,070
Difficult. Why?
125
00:08:16,340 --> 00:08:17,720
I haven't been in for a while.
126
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,290
A while?
127
00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:20,430
Eleven years.
128
00:08:20,431 --> 00:08:23,519
That's more than a while, really, isn't
it?
129
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:28,439
I think a while is officially under
three years. Three to six years is ages,
130
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,920
seven is officially one yonk.
131
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:31,890
Don't say hello.
132
00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:34,059
It's my problem, OK?
133
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,820
Can we just leave it?
134
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:39,120
Rona, it's family.
135
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,310
Sometimes we just have to put our
feelings aside.
136
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:45,169
Thought it. Never does that in the
films.
137
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:49,550
Hello?
138
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:51,290
Yes, it is.
139
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,960
Oh, God.
140
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,410
Yeah.
141
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,650
All right.
142
00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:00,070
Bye.
143
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:04,060
Stupid, silly old bat.
144
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,360
Who? The bell again. Come on.
145
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,320
What's going on? Nothing.
146
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,700
I'll never get to know anything around
here. Let's just...
147
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:21,620
Can you see anything?
148
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:23,330
No.
149
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,090
Come on.
150
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,720
God knows why they always call me.
151
00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:32,940
This must be the place.
152
00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:41,510
She's getting worse.
153
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:44,250
Well, at least unblock the letterbox.
154
00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:46,530
All right, then. But no tricks.
155
00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:50,780
Say, Arden.
156
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:52,400
It's me.
157
00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:54,850
See? Is she all right?
158
00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:56,600
Can't see.
159
00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:57,900
It's dark.
160
00:10:58,070 --> 00:10:59,350
What about the other one?
161
00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:02,030
You'll have to look through.
162
00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:04,190
Oh. Smile.
163
00:11:04,610 --> 00:11:05,970
How will she know?
164
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:40,650
Just a thought.
165
00:12:21,371 --> 00:12:25,299
You wish you'd gone back to your brother
now.
166
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,350
No.
167
00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:27,860
What is it with you and him?
168
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,240
You don't know him.
169
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:32,280
He looked all right. Oh, yes, he looked
all right.
170
00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:35,180
But appearances can be deceptive.
171
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:43,000
Later that day, my father returned with
his assistant, the Christine woman.
172
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,260
He had a secret of his own.
173
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:46,890
Here we are, then.
174
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:51,300
If I have to bend any more pipes, I'll
have arms like bleeding Popeye.
175
00:12:51,301 --> 00:12:58,339
Some people pay thousands of pounds to
join our club to build up their muscles.
176
00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:00,450
And some people are dick brains then.
Yeah.
177
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:01,690
That's it for today.
178
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:03,410
Oh, right.
179
00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:05,200
I'll go home, shall I? Right.
180
00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:07,230
It's a long way.
181
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,290
Yeah.
182
00:13:08,291 --> 00:13:11,639
Well, don't offer me a cup of tea or I
might keel over and start biting the
183
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,999
pile. I'm sorry, I've got things to do,
you understand?
184
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,959
Oh, yeah, I understand. I've got things
I want to do as well. Good.
185
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:21,059
Only instead of doing them, I'm going to
be wedged on a number 22 with 15 ,000
186
00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:22,140
football supporters.
187
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:23,820
Gobbing on me Reeboks.
188
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:26,470
See you then.
189
00:13:26,471 --> 00:13:31,139
Are you going to collect me on Monday or
shall I take the easy way and book up a
190
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:32,820
trip with Saran and bloody fines?
191
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:34,070
Whatever.
192
00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:38,260
Dad, is that you?
193
00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:44,870
Hi, Dad.
194
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,680
What is this?
195
00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:49,340
Nothing. Just an experiment.
196
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:51,070
Oh, yes.
197
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,650
Like the washing machine and gerbil
incident.
198
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:55,000
That was bad luck.
199
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:57,170
Don't worry, I'll get rid of it.
200
00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:58,409
What's that?
201
00:13:58,410 --> 00:13:59,460
What?
202
00:14:00,410 --> 00:14:02,330
Oh, great, Ninja Badger 2.
203
00:14:02,331 --> 00:14:03,169
Hold that.
204
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:05,569
I didn't know it'd come out. It's a day.
Do you want to play it now?
205
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:08,949
Thanks. Well, I'll set it up for you,
shall I? I can do it. Well, I'll show
206
00:14:08,950 --> 00:14:09,729
how to play it then.
207
00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:10,709
I know.
208
00:14:10,710 --> 00:14:11,760
Let me have it.
209
00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:13,130
I thought it was for me.
210
00:14:13,131 --> 00:14:14,069
It is.
211
00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:16,180
I just want to look at something on the
box.
212
00:14:16,550 --> 00:14:18,090
Look into my eyes and say that.
213
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,929
I just want to look at something on the
box.
214
00:14:20,930 --> 00:14:21,980
It's the truth.
215
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,520
Nuts.
216
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:34,430
Is Rona here? I don't think so.
217
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:38,300
I thought I'd come in. No, I think they
went out again. Sorry, I'm a brother.
218
00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:40,320
Oh.
219
00:14:40,570 --> 00:14:42,030
Hi. Ben Porter.
220
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:43,710
Adam. Pleased to meet you.
221
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,650
Do you want to come in and wait?
222
00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:46,740
Oh, thanks.
223
00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:53,750
Back at the stakeout, my mother -in -law
had summoned assistance.
224
00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:56,710
She later admitted it was a big mistake.
225
00:14:57,370 --> 00:14:58,950
Hello. I'm Mo.
226
00:14:59,490 --> 00:15:00,540
Social services.
227
00:15:02,699 --> 00:15:04,720
Lovely. And what's your name?
228
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,900
Bill. And Rona.
229
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:09,450
Lovely.
230
00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:12,620
And which one of you is the carer?
231
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,400
I am the niece.
232
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:20,759
Lovely. And I believe we have one
distressed and or disorientated elderly
233
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,260
person. No.
234
00:15:22,740 --> 00:15:26,380
No? We have one stupid old woman who
won't open her door.
235
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,750
Have you attempted to gain access to the
premises?
236
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,510
We just thought we'd spend our holidays
in this corridor. Is it so lovely here?
237
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,440
She won't open the door.
238
00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:44,099
Well, fortunately, we do have training
in extensive role -playing persuasion
239
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:47,740
techniques, which can be very useful in
these cases.
240
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,440
What do you want?
241
00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:54,940
Hello. I'm Moe from Social Services.
242
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,860
I wanted to discuss with you the
concern...
243
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:05,030
help me by opening your door just a
little teeny bit?
244
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:06,750
Bugger off!
245
00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:11,840
Do you know what I've just found in my
pocket?
246
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,230
I drank something!
247
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:19,500
It's a tape. It's called Sing Along With
Max by Mr Max Bygraves.
248
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:25,459
Sometimes when I visit my elderly
persons, I put it on and we all sing
249
00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:28,080
with the songs from the old days to
cheer us up a bit.
250
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:55,780
back to the office now.
251
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,560
Can't you send someone to force the
door? She's got no food in there.
252
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,650
Unhappily, that does not come within the
remit of social services.
253
00:17:04,579 --> 00:17:08,520
I might be able to get Scott to drop by
if I pull a few strings.
254
00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:11,330
Yes, but where would he park Thunderbird
One?
255
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,880
He's our crisis counsellor. Would he be
any help?
256
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:18,310
Not really. He's had a nervous
breakdown.
257
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,839
You must be able to do something.
258
00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:23,740
I'm afraid in a case like this, my hands
are tied.
259
00:17:25,869 --> 00:17:27,569
though they should be, to a stake.
260
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,370
Any more ideas?
261
00:17:30,690 --> 00:17:31,970
Let's see if I can see her.
262
00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:55,830
to get off with their sister's boyfriend
while she's out.
263
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:57,560
Well, you haven't got a sister.
264
00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:59,200
I was the sister.
265
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,100
Oh. You mean he's, um... Yeah.
266
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,840
Never thought at the time.
267
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,580
Seemed to get on well.
268
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,399
Went out together and everything.
269
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,050
Well, surely you must have noticed about
him before.
270
00:19:13,051 --> 00:19:15,939
Oh, yes, but he hadn't been interested
in any of the others.
271
00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:17,560
He's a chubby chaser.
272
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,090
A what?
273
00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:22,740
He's only turned on by men of a certain
size.
274
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,290
I don't know, but it's getting on very
well with Dad.
275
00:19:33,291 --> 00:19:34,799
How long have you been in the company?
276
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,920
Just a few days. I move around quite a
bit.
277
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:38,440
What do you do exactly?
278
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:39,550
I'm Lord Lucan.
279
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,960
No, I sell office equipment.
280
00:19:42,961 --> 00:19:46,059
Oh, travelling salesman, eh? Yeah. Is it
true what they say?
281
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,770
What? Well, you know, they never miss an
opportunity.
282
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,720
Well, I never was one to resist
temptation.
283
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:54,430
Lucky sod.
284
00:19:55,631 --> 00:19:57,719
Sure, then, woman?
285
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,180
Er, no, thanks.
286
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:06,530
How's Rona been?
287
00:20:06,531 --> 00:20:07,799
You heard about her second wedding?
288
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,500
Yeah, heard she did a runner again.
289
00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:11,110
Ah.
290
00:20:12,020 --> 00:20:15,630
And of course, the photographer was
waiting outside for him to come out.
291
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:16,760
You've got to see this.
292
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:38,970
I saw her coming out the church door.
293
00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:42,300
Saw her running down a path, bit
blurred.
294
00:20:42,790 --> 00:20:44,230
I saw her running out the gate.
295
00:20:45,230 --> 00:20:46,280
Oh, she's gone now.
296
00:20:48,870 --> 00:20:49,920
What's up?
297
00:20:51,070 --> 00:20:53,420
She never did have much luck with her
love life.
298
00:20:54,510 --> 00:20:55,560
No.
299
00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:59,190
If I found a man I really liked, I'd
want to hang on to him.
300
00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:05,090
Yeah, so would I.
301
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,530
What's the matter?
302
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:13,070
Look.
303
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:19,859
I don't know what's gone on between you
and Rona in the past, but surely that is
304
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:20,940
in the past, isn't it?
305
00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:24,340
Is it getting hot in here?
306
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:32,399
Meanwhile, the chief was making one last
call in an attempt to bring to an end
307
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,660
the whole sorry caboodle.
308
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,120
Hello? I don't want double glazing.
309
00:21:43,381 --> 00:21:45,469
those people.
310
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:49,510
One word and they send men round to go
all over your house.
311
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:54,950
I don't want my private parts measuring
for patio doors.
312
00:21:55,750 --> 00:21:57,210
Mum, it's Aunt Belle.
313
00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:01,370
It's raining up here. Is it raining down
there?
314
00:22:01,810 --> 00:22:03,190
She wants to see you.
315
00:22:03,410 --> 00:22:05,430
Well, she knows where I am.
316
00:22:05,910 --> 00:22:10,710
Look, Mum, I can't go on lying to her.
She wants you to visit.
317
00:22:11,090 --> 00:22:15,090
Well, I wanted her to come to your
father's funeral.
318
00:22:15,810 --> 00:22:16,860
I know.
319
00:22:17,490 --> 00:22:19,090
Well, she knows where I am.
320
00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:24,010
Look, Mum, I can't go on covering up for
this thing any longer.
321
00:22:24,690 --> 00:22:28,709
I tell her you send your love, I tell
her you're busy, but I'm not going to
322
00:22:28,710 --> 00:22:29,970
cover up for this anymore.
323
00:22:30,050 --> 00:22:31,100
Is that clear?
324
00:22:31,110 --> 00:22:32,160
Quite clear.
325
00:22:46,730 --> 00:22:48,150
Well, she knows where I am.
326
00:22:49,710 --> 00:22:50,760
Bye, Mum.
327
00:22:56,130 --> 00:22:58,210
Maybe I'd better get back and see Adam.
328
00:23:07,870 --> 00:23:09,910
Oh, is she coming?
329
00:23:11,210 --> 00:23:15,990
Um, she, uh... She sent her love.
330
00:23:16,750 --> 00:23:17,870
But she's busy.
331
00:23:21,790 --> 00:23:22,840
Oh, Bill?
332
00:23:25,050 --> 00:23:26,610
Oh, come on, let's go home.
333
00:23:35,210 --> 00:23:36,260
I'm back!
334
00:23:36,550 --> 00:23:37,630
We're in the bedroom!
335
00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:41,630
Shall I put some food on or is somebody
eating the kitchen?
336
00:23:46,730 --> 00:23:47,830
have it back. It's mine.
337
00:23:48,290 --> 00:23:50,350
Give it to me. No, go away.
338
00:23:50,351 --> 00:23:56,629
He won't let me play Ninja Badger. Oh,
you haven't gone and bought another of
339
00:23:56,630 --> 00:23:57,850
those things, have you?
340
00:23:58,250 --> 00:24:00,360
Did anyone ring about the catering?
Yeah.
341
00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:03,540
The bloke said he decided to hire
McDonald's instead.
342
00:24:03,630 --> 00:24:06,790
I hope he gets a hernia trying to suck
up the milkshakes.
343
00:24:08,610 --> 00:24:11,370
At least Rona's making it up with her
brother.
344
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:13,790
He's a nice bloke. He came over.
345
00:24:14,750 --> 00:24:16,670
What? Yeah, we've got them really well.
346
00:24:16,671 --> 00:24:18,129
We're going out together tomorrow.
347
00:24:18,130 --> 00:24:22,370
Oh, Ben, are you going to wait up for
me? Or shall I slip on my electronic
348
00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:23,720
Where are you going?
349
00:24:23,721 --> 00:24:25,449
I'm only meeting Jason at the Odeon.
350
00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:27,010
What's on? Beauty and the Beast.
351
00:24:27,130 --> 00:24:29,540
How did man ever get to the top of the
food chain?
352
00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:31,390
Practice. Have a nice time.
353
00:24:32,030 --> 00:24:33,710
And don't sit in Snugger's corner.
354
00:24:33,910 --> 00:24:35,230
How do you know about that?
355
00:24:36,830 --> 00:24:37,880
David told me.
356
00:24:38,070 --> 00:24:39,120
I didn't.
357
00:24:39,130 --> 00:24:41,590
Here, have a hot dog and dream on.
358
00:24:41,990 --> 00:24:44,690
Oh, God, on the durst day of the 90s.
359
00:24:44,691 --> 00:24:48,279
And whatever it was you sneak back from
the butcher's, they'd better be gone
360
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:49,139
when I check.
361
00:24:49,140 --> 00:24:50,190
Yes, Mum.
362
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,020
Um, Finn.
363
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:57,120
What? Uh, there's something you ought to
know about Rona's brother.
364
00:24:57,121 --> 00:24:59,499
Oh, you mean that he's, uh, yeah, he
told me.
365
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:04,179
Oh, well, I thought you might be worried
that... Nah, anyway, told me only
366
00:25:04,180 --> 00:25:05,260
ghosts are fat blokes.
367
00:25:12,791 --> 00:25:14,879
What's bugging you?
368
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,100
Oh, it's Aunt Belle.
369
00:25:16,460 --> 00:25:18,520
I think she's found out about Mum.
370
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,340
Well, you never were very good at lying.
371
00:25:21,341 --> 00:25:25,599
That's great, coming from you. Everybody
knows when you're lying.
372
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:26,379
Oh, yeah?
373
00:25:26,380 --> 00:25:27,430
Yes.
374
00:25:27,980 --> 00:25:29,030
Well, go on.
375
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,490
Try it.
376
00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:31,830
Right.
377
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:33,690
True or false?
378
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:38,220
If I can't play ninja badger tonight, I
thought of something better to do.
379
00:25:38,820 --> 00:25:40,880
True. No, I was lying.
380
00:25:41,140 --> 00:25:42,460
You'd better not have been.
381
00:25:51,429 --> 00:25:55,790
No, I'm on a super saver, so come on,
let's get it over and done with.
382
00:25:55,990 --> 00:25:57,040
Right.
383
00:25:57,190 --> 00:25:58,310
Nice to see you, Bette.
384
00:26:00,150 --> 00:26:02,410
He's getting better at that, isn't he?
385
00:26:06,870 --> 00:26:07,920
What's going on?
386
00:26:08,170 --> 00:26:09,220
Nothing.
387
00:27:00,140 --> 00:27:01,240
Miss Jim's funeral.
388
00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:05,540
Oh, that's all right. It was a long way
to come, anyway.
389
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,640
It was years ago. It's all forgotten
about.
390
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,800
How are you?
391
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:12,090
Not so bad.
392
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,580
Um, can we come in?
393
00:27:16,660 --> 00:27:17,720
Looks a bit dark.
394
00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:19,360
Let's see what we can do.
395
00:27:43,681 --> 00:27:46,939
Tell us what happened that evening.
396
00:27:46,940 --> 00:27:51,180
But one thing is sure. You can't keep
secrets for long in a joint like this.
397
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:55,380
That's why I keep my secret in a special
locker in my room.
398
00:27:56,020 --> 00:27:57,940
Together with this diary.
399
00:27:57,990 --> 00:28:02,540
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