Original subtitles

Should have rung the bell, love.

All right, then.

JPEG 1, London transport, nil.

Wait, Doug, what's your name?

You going out tonight?

Go on, give us a smile.

Nice arse.

Change of life.

He didn't.

I don't believe it. It's that above bag.

Jackie Durham in the high street buying this ointment in a tanker.

to spin.

Get that, will you? You get it! Can't you see? I'm talking.

I'm watching. David!

Well, you better not ring me up, that's all.

Oh, for God's sake, will somebody get that?

Why don't you? You're nearer. I know what you've got in the lunchbox under

bed. I'll get it.

Hi, Mum. Can't you see I've no hands free?

Thank God I'm not doing... breastfeeding.

Jenny!

Sorry.

She's here.

What did you say? Off the phone, please.

No, it's all right.

Goodbye, children everywhere.

Mother! Your father might ring to say he'll be home late. That was a friend.

Did she ring you?

No. Then she's no friend.

David! Clear up these comets.

Oh, everyone teaches me like a slave.

Did you get my shoes?

Hello, Mother.

Hello, Jenny.

day at work? Well, I did, actually, but I gave up my lunch hour to take a

mortgage out on some training.

Here they are.

Thanks, Mum.

Oh, two minutes ago. It was she's here.

Where are you off to?

Nowhere. Good. You can help me unpack.

better trainers than me. Good. Then the boys will catch up with you first.

You should be thankful for what you get.

Haven't you got something to eat in your lunchbox?

Why, Mum?

Mum, forget it. I'm going to have them welded to your feet forever.

She's the one who takes him to the school gates and kisses him.

Blackmail is a very ugly word.

Hi, love.

Dad,

can I stay up? No, up you go, Crusher. Talk to the big people.

I'm hungry.

You remember what they told us when we got here? No bright lights, never get

them wet, never feed them after midnight.

Six o 'clock, I was still taking off the old radiator.

I noticed the system hadn't been drained properly, so I had to couple it all

back up again. Turns out, some cowboy put in a secondary coupling.

Plus, Jerry has to go home at seven. You know how it is with Jerry.

Gotcha!

I wasn't doing anything.

So how was your day, my love?

Jenny's gone to bed early. She's not speaking to me.

Why? What did you do?

Nothing. I bought her the wrong trainers.

Then the class wimp rang up and I asked him if he wanted a kinky time.

I thought it was you.

Did he say yes? He did.

That's when I realised it wasn't you.

Plus, the washing machine isn't draining.

I'll do it tomorrow.

I need it tomorrow.

All right. Just give me a while, yeah?

Are you all right?

Yes.

Are you sure?

You've been like this a few days now.

Well, I'm a bit depressed, I suppose.

Why don't you go upstairs and I'll be up as soon as I can.

Shall I wear my flame -proof nightdress?

Definitely.

I'm just going to have a quick bath.

Yeah, I just want him to put the pink

Becky David in Now Voyager.

What time is it?

Once

again,

there are suggestions that shops and businesses should open on Sundays.

Oh, yes.

The truth of the matter is most people look forward to Sundays all week.

I know I do. When else would we be able to spend precious time with our family?

I'm going out.

Hey, Jackie, I'll be back after tea.

Perhaps.

Carry on.

With our families.

And enjoy all those special activities that Sunday has made its own.

Walk. I am walking.

We say keep the traditional British Sunday just as it is.

I agree. If we're going to be miserable, why shouldn't everyone else?

That shirt needs washing.

No. Give it to me.

Yeah, yeah.

You're not doing the washing.

What do you mean?

You haven't fixed the machine, have you?

I was worn out.

Just leave it. Oh, sure.

We'll send the kids to school in bin bags.

I'll tell the headmaster I've gone punk.

My new name...

A woman pumped 16 bullets into her husband's head.

His condition is described as satisfactory.

Rona?

I'm sorry.

this on you, but my machine's broken and I'm desperate.

Oh, help yourself.

Do you want a coffee?

Oh, just a quick one. I haven't even started on the dinner yet.

Where's Heavy Soil?

D7.

I'm sorry about Sven.

He has this Scandinavian lack of inhibition.

I've been trying to tell him to get dressed, but I can't seem to find the

phrase.

The nearest I can find is this, for a visit to the dentist.

take it out.

It's a bit late for that, isn't it?

It's no need to be so disapproving.

It's all right for you. You're happily married.

Yes.

Rona, if I tell you something, will you absolutely promise it'll go

no further?

My lips are sealed.

Thank you. I know what a difficult promise that is for you.

There's something I didn't tell you.

I knew it. You've been acting funny all week. I haven't. You have?

Oh, right, I have.

It's confusing me. I feel so... Good day, young. Good day, young.

Go on.

You can't.

You don't have to worry about him. He can't speak a word of English.

I'll show you.

to bed with Nicholas Ridley? Oh, yeah. See?

Quite safe.

Do you remember that boy on the motorbike?

Oh, how could I forget?

Yes, well, he saw me waiting at the bus stop and he offered me a lift on his

bike. Why would he do that?

Well, he woke up with my hand down his leathers.

What? Rona?

What are you talking about?

Not what you think. I thought he was hurt when he came off his bike and I was

looking for his beeper. At the bus stop? No, this was earlier.

Anyway, he saw me waiting and he offered me a lift.

What did you say?

What did you say?

No thanks.

You didn't. I did. You didn't. I did.

So what's the problem?

I wanted to say yes.

I wanted to so much, despite Ben and the kids and everything.

But I just said, no thanks, and he said, OK, and off he went.

And I've been regretting it ever since.

Oh.

I'm sure he can't understand.

Ben, would you like to have Sky Television? Oh, yeah, thanks a lot.

Nothing. You'll probably never see him again.

You've just got to put the whole thing out of your mind.

Right.

I

know what

you're thinking.

Oh?

The dinner.

Oh, yes.

Look, I'm sorry about the washer. I realise you need a break too.

So I've fixed it that we exist.

Oh, no.

David won't like that. You know how he hates their shame.

Hi, Mum.

Why? I shall want to skip up the path.

Hello, Celeste.

Brian, there's a DIY.

Oh, coming along.

Hello, Bill. Hello, Tina.

Shane's in the lounge, David.

Don't encourage him to pick his scape.

I'm sure the girls would like to be left to it.

I think it's time for a quick one. Oh, you go off to your pub.

We don't want men under our feet in the kitchen, do we, Bill?

No, I believe testosterone explodes on contact with saucepans.

You've got to worry about that.

Bill and I have got lots to gossip about.

Come on then, Ben.

I've got three more of those little china houses.

This is her ascot.

Isn't that a lovely dress?

Lovely. And this is her in New York.

That is a lovely dress.

Lovely. She looks so lovely in spots, doesn't she?

Almost as lovely as Simon Mayo.

And, uh...

Visiting sick children.

I had to snip them off to fit it on.

Very wise.

What's she doing in this one?

Mum said they're made by a foreigner. Got sharp bits in them.

Have you got anything?

There's no question about it. They are different to us.

Do you know, Brian didn't understand why I picked those curtains.

I said to him, I said, you worry about your silly loft conversion and you leave

curtains to me.

pedestal mat, he wouldn't know whether to wear it or wee on it.

Still, where would we be without them?

I don't think we're all that different, really.

Oh, that's a school for you. They're all communists.

In my day, a girl didn't need to spot well to get liberal studies.

Lesbian studies, I call it.

did what men did.

Down the pub.

Yes, well, I like girls to be girls and men to be men.

Mum, can we have a bit of night?

Before your dinner, Sheen.

Told you.

Late night.

Oh, I'm sorry. Bit tired. Busy day at the shop yesterday.

You're not still working.

Yes.

You want to get things sorted out.

There's men unemployed.

So?

A woman's place is in the home.

Says who?

Well, says in the Bible.

Where? What?

Where does it say that in the Bible?

Not that you're likely to have seen it unless they started printing pictures of

Princess Bloody Diana in it.

ambitions take me away from my home and my children?

One, I work in a cake shop, not ewing oil.

Two, Brian earns twice as much as Ben. We need the money.

And what's wrong with my children?

Hmm. Time for one more.

Oh, I thought we should be getting back, really.

Where does she keep them, then?

What? Your testicles.

In her handbag, are they?

Available on request.

I have sorted it out with your sister.

What I say goes.

No arguments. Yeah, well, Bill's not like that, then. Two more points,

and a trust for my friend here.

Mark my words, Ben.

I know a thing or two about the lady. She'll be well at it by now.

I was only trying to help.

Yes, well, my kids are doing very nicely as they are, thank you.

Yes.

I'll just go and set the table.

got the idea off the TV.

Gently, as you steer over.

Are you all right? Of course, thank God.

I'm still going to kill you when we get home.

They can be tricky, these six kids.

Let's go and phone your father.

I want to film it. Don't be silly.

Thanks again.

Any time.

Come on.

I don't see anything funny.

It's all right. I'm not going to shout at you.

Haven't you got something you want to tell me?

I'm not sorry.

Well, at least that's honest.

How did you do it?

Don't know.

Did she hurt you?

A bit.

But I don't mind. It was worth it to see her face.

I'm not laughing.

I think this is very serious.

How long have you had that animal?

A day or two.

Since Wednesday.

Why didn't you tell me? She wouldn't like it. Yes, there's a lot of things I

don't like, but that's no reason not to tell me.

Would you ever let me keep it?

No. But while we all live together in this house, it's best there's no

right? No secrets.

Good.

Now, I want you to go upstairs, put on a nice frilly apron and a pair of rubber

gloves, just like your Aunty Tina, and disinfect everywhere it's been.

Even the bath.

Especially the bath.

I

don't see anything

funny.

Haven't you got something to tell me?

I'm not sorry.

Oh, well, maybe I am.

It was probably worth it just to see the look on her face.

I was on a windscreen in La Vange. Phone number. Probably can't be wanting some

work done.

Oh, er, no, this is nothing. It's just a piece of paper that David was playing

with. Oh.

All right.

Well, there was something I was thinking about.

Yeah?

Do you still have your old leather jacket?

It's upstairs somewhere.

Well, David's going to be busy for a while. Why don't I come up and help you

it on?

Right.

I'll be out in a minute.

We'll be waiting.