Original subtitles

They had no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no place

home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with no flame or wave.

Pulling together, we'll make it right.

With help from our friends.

We'll be right back.

Last time on 227... So this is Atlantic City.

The only sound I want to hear is the voice of Luther Bandro. I told you, you

too young to be in a casino.

I'm saved!

I can win that contest!

Those Luther Bandro tickets are as good as mine!

Somebody show him my bro!

Now this gambling is a fever, a disease, a sickness.

Lester, how would you like to own a part of the bicycle?

Will you marry me?

Yes.

What room are you in?

512.

What do you want to tell me?

It can wait.

And now part two.

Where's that scarf?

Uh -oh, I know that sound.

That's the sound of I'm upset, but I'm not going to talk about it. I'm just

going to slam drawers instead sound.

friend is marrying a man who's bringing a date to his own wedding. Now, if you

were me, you would be slamming your drawers, too.

Okay, okay, but don't get involved. Let's go down and have some breakfast.

You'll feel better, and so will the furniture.

Fine. You go, and I'll be down later.

All right, I'll go ahead, but I'll order for you. What do you want for

breakfast? Toast, juice, coffee, and Warren's head on a platter.

Okay, one Warren's head platter. Coming up.

Mary Jenkins, you are going overboard with this gambling.

Well, baby, if I'm overboard, $5 ,000 will buy me a nice lifeboat.

You want $5 ,000?

I was just practicing for when she really wins.

In case a new kid can walk away a winner.

Uh -uh.

Look, I'm not leaving until I get a yacht to go with that lifeboat.

That's tough.

I've got to have your answer. Are you or are you not going to invest in Jerry

the Bicycle Washington?

Well, Julian, you know, I've always dreamed of owning a piece of a fighter,

I can't get to the bank.

Don't worry about it, baby.

Lady Luck is on the scene.

I'll cash in my tips and give you the bread, okay?

Oh, Mary, I couldn't take money from you.

Lester, that is a sexist remark.

Her money is just as green as the next guy's.

That's right, and this is the place where dreams come true. Go for it.

Well, okay, Julian, you got a deal.

Well, partner, how are you at handling spit buckets?

Oh, spit bucket, I love fights. Oh, I'm sorry, Granny.

guys would work. My own dad didn't recognize us. Yeah, we in.

Come on, Walt.

Let's get that slut machine and win that all -terrain vehicle.

Well, now I hope it has orthopedic super.

Morning, folks.

Morning.

Wait a minute, you two.

Something wrong, son?

Brenda, Calvin, out.

You don't see many senior citizens wearing high -top Air Jordans.

Move it!

Touch it.

Feel it.

$6 ,500.

Right!

You should put that in a hotel safe. If Poe had done it with her brooch, she'd

still have it.

Yeah. It's not been a very happy birthday for her, is it?

No, she's taking it real hard, too. I saw her at the luncheon buffet. She only

had 16 helpings.

Well, $3 ,000 for Lester.

Promised him he could buy a piece of the racket.

Hey, the Hotel Neptune proudly presents that sultan of silence, that maestro of

mine, Travis Phillips!

Here's me entering a room.

Now, here's me entering a windy room.

Now, here's me leaning against a wall.

is a terrible thing to waste.

Travis, what are you doing this for? I entered that comedy contest so I could

win those tickets so Pearl could go see Luther.

What? You don't have Pearl's tickets yet?

Here's me being yanked out of a room by a rope.

Travis!

If you don't get Pearl's tickets, you're going to be dangling from that rope.

I've got to go see how he does that rope trick.

got to go find my Warren, because we have lots of wedding plans to make.

Rose, Rose, are you sure you're doing the right thing? I mean, marriage isn't

something you just dive into, you know. Oh, Mary, I'm not just diving. I'm doing

a half gainer with a triple twist.

Oh, Mary, I know what you're trying to say. You want to make sure that I'm

Well, sure.

Well, let me reassure you that I'm sure.

Warren is the only man for me, and I'm also sure that I'm the only woman for

Warren. Yes, yes, Rose, Rose. But are you really sure?

Sure!

Don't be so sure.

Nine is a point. Make your bets.

All right.

Let's see.

Chip, chip here, and a chip, chip there, and a here chip.

There are chips everywhere.

A chip chip.

Mary, you're really getting good at this.

Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet, honey.

Come on, dice. Be good to me.

Luck be a lady tonight.

Seminal. You lose.

What you tell me?

Mary, he's taking all your chips. That's not a good sign.

I don't lose. Other people lose.

It won't work, Brenda.

I'm not Brenda.

Let me take my ID out.

I don't care if you take out your teeth.

You're going to care if I take out your teeth. Where'd he go?

How come a fantastic man like you hasn't been snatched up already?

Guess I've been waiting for the right woman.

To the right woman.

Come on, 16, 16, come on.

Make Mary a proud Mary.

Yes. 17.

Wait a minute.

I'm only one point off. I know I should get something.

Oh, yeah.

You get to experience the agony of defeat.

What is your best?

I don't have any more chips.

Mary,

don't even think about it. You promised that money to Lester.

So you lied.

Don't do it, Chuck.

Bet it. Bet it.

Are you in or out?

She's out. She's out. You know how much Zesta wants to own that fighter?

She's in. She's in. Bet it all. Bet it all. Bet it all.

I'm in.

Shame on you, Mary.

Don't you love your husband?

Oh, of course I do.

Mary! Mary! I just saw Warren kissing another woman.

Oh, Rose, that's too bad.

I gotta get my money. But Mary, how could you do this to me?

He's a louse, Rose. Let me get my money.

But Mary, I...

Look at me. Let me go. I gotta get my money.

I can't marry him now, Mary. The wedding is off.

Rose, let me go. Oh, Mary.

Well, well, you lose.

Oh, oh, Mary.

Oh, Mary.

Rose,

Rose. Honey, listen, you gotta believe me. What you saw, it's not what you

think.

You just got your fuckers caught in the cookie jar.

Rose, Rose, listen.

I know I told you I wasn't going to do any police work, but I recognized that

woman. She's an international jewel thief, and I was just pretending to

her so that I could catch her in the act.

Now,

I may have been gullible enough to fall for you, but I ain't falling for that.

No, I ain't falling for that. But she really is a jewel thief.

You take it. No, no, you take it. I want you to take it. I don't want to take

it. I'll take it.

For safekeeping.

Oh!

Rose, Rose, listen to me. Oh, don't be gross at me.

No!

Mary, I need that $3 ,000 for Julian.

$3 ,000?

Mm -hmm.

I don't have it, honey. The hotel has it. Oh, you put it in the safe, huh?

Smart babe.

Yeah, that's me. Smart babe.

I'll tell you what.

You go up in the hotel room, and I'll get it from the hotel and see you in an

hour. Okay, it's a date.

And I'll be there waiting, thinking of ways to thank you.

Mr. Vandross, we'll do the best we can to get your stolen property back.

Yeah, see, that watch has great sentimental value.

My grandmother gave it to me when I won my first music award.

I remember it was inscribed, from granny, for your granny.

Here comes Mr. Merriweather. Maybe he can help. He's a cop.

Mr. Merriweather.

Mr. Bandrose here just lost his watch.

You think you got troubles? I just lost a girlfriend.

We're not dealing with an ordinary thief here.

Thank you, Jackie.

And now, ladies and germs, how about a big welcome for the

comic stylings of Mr.

Travis Fillmore.

This is not funny.

Hey, uh, Travis Fillmore.

Travis Fillmore, ladies and gentlemen.

Hey, that was Travis Fillmore. He just flew in from Washington, D .C., and boy,

were his jokes tired.

Renton, New Jersey. Must be a big night for you then. Boom! Bang, bang, bang,

bang! Give me help here. Comedy stuff.

Hey, wait a minute. Hey, what's this on your head?

The space shuttle? Is it going to take off? I better get back!

Comedy stuff.

Oh, God. Well, look at this. My mom gave me more court than this. Stop me now!

Comedy stuff.

Hey, am I wrong? These kids these days with the rock and roll?

With the songs now?

Well, boy, George, do you want to hurt me?

Yes, we do!

Like a virgin? I don't think so.

Hey, comedy stuff.

Milli Vanilli.

With the, uh, blame it on the rain.

Hey, blame it on your head. With those crazy haircuts. Maybe I'm too old.

stuff. I got guns and roses. Welcome to the jungle. Hey, well, Paradise City.

Believe me. It's not Paradise City. You gotta be there with guns and roses. Wait

a minute. Comedy stuff.

I got, hey, Janet Jackson.

Miss you much. If you ask me, I don't miss you so much.

The time has come for your applause to crown the king of comedy.

Who will win those tickets to see the fabulous Luther Vandross?

Will it be Jackie Brill?

Will it be Donna...

Now, the people have spoken. You're everything. I am nothing.

The winner is... this guy over here.

Congratulations.

You win the Luther Vandross tickets.

I'm coming to see you, Luther.

Oh, boy! We won! We won! Oh, boy, we won!

Oops, Daisy.

We seem to have a little glitch here.

This other guy here is disqualified.

What? He wasn't officially entered. You were. And the winner is Jackie Brill.

I'm coming to kill you, Travis.

Don't you want to save that for a rainy day?

Save it? I just borrowed it. I got to turn this $10 into $3 ,000 and quick.

Twenty, I'm home free.

Blackjack? I'm homeless.

Gotta have another chip in here somewhere.

Ma 'am, I've been looking all over for you. I need the $3 ,000 to pay Julian

now. Yes, it's time to feed the bicycle.

Yeah, a man can't live by fist alone.

Money. You want money?

Ma 'am, is there a problem?

No, no, no, there's no problem.

Unless you call not having $3 ,000 a problem.

Where you lost all that money? No, it's not lost. I know where it is.

The casino has it.

You mean to say you gambled my dreams all down the drain?

I couldn't help it, honey. It was these voices and they... Rose's ring.

That woman, she took Rose's ring.

Rose's ring?

I fought there once.

Catch them, honey. She's getting them.

Oh, I'm sorry. You have me confused with someone else. No, no, you're Angela.

I remember you came backstage after the show for my autograph last night. You

said when I sing, it makes your knees squeak. No, that wasn't me. I have to

No, no, it was you. I remember you even admired my watch.

Excuse me, miss. My wife thinks you may have something that may belong to us.

How dare you accuse me of... I believe the word you're searching for is

stealing.

I've never stolen anything in my entire life, and I don't appreciate your

choosing me. Let me tell you, I am a very honest human being. Stop making

commotion. You're distracting the patrons, and they're not gambling.

Lester, what's going on here? Many think this lady stole Rose's engagement ring.

This is an outrage.

If you don't believe me, search me.

Okay.

Excuse me, but I believe you dropped something.

I've never seen that purse before in my life. Oh, really?

Well, there's nothing in it but Rose's ring, Pearl's brooch, some cufflinks.

My cufflinks are gone!

And a watch.

That's mine.

This'll never hold up in court.

Oh, really?

Well, you're a dumb international thief.

Got all the loot and your driver's license in here with your picture on it.

24th. Give me a break.

I'll handle it from here, Mary.

Warren, you know me. Tell them who I am.

Say something.

Yeah, say something.

You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. She

really is a thief?

I told you.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I trusted him, and what did it get me?

Eight to ten, and for you, life.

Life with me.

Okay, let's go.

Well, it looks like somebody's going to get married after all.

Mm -hmm. And if you ever gamble again, somebody's going to get divorced.

Pearl, why are you crying?

The wedding hasn't even started yet.

It's not the wedding.

It's my birthday, and I haven't had a chance to hear Luther.

Come on, Pearl. I'm really sorry.

I really tried with my stand -up comedy.

Stand -up comedy?

Don't you mean stand -up comedy?

She's almost ready.

I hope we're not too late. I got here as quickly as we could, but it took us

quite a while to revive the bicycle.

You mean he lost?

It was a lucky punch.

It was a lucky eight punches.

Oh, yeah.

I stopped counting after the first one.

Oh, sit down.

Mary, I'm glad you lost that money. I would have owned half of nothing. I'm

going to go check on Warren.

Oh, Mary.

Mary, they told me you were in here.

Luthor, you're here. I can't believe it. I'm your greatest fan.

Well, thank you, young lady. I really appreciate that.

Mary,

I wanted to thank you for catching the thief and for getting my watch back.

Oh, think nothing of it. Just call me Sherlock Homegirl.

Well, listen, if there's anything you need, anything I can do, just let me

and it's yours.

Well, it is Pearl's birthday. I'm 39.

And she came all the way to Atlantic City just to hear you sing.

But we weren't able to get tickets, you don't suppose?

I'm sorry, but if I weren't Luther Vandross, I wouldn't be able to get

myself.

Well, she's here, and you're here, and I've got an idea.

delightful pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs.

Warren

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