All language subtitles for 227 s05e16 Play Christy for Me

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're
never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't
need to roam. Cause there's no place

home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with no flame or way.

Pulling together, we'll make it right.

With help from our friends and...

No place like home.

With your family around you, you're
never alone.

When you know that you're loved, you
don't need to roam.

The show starts in 30 seconds.

I know. I can't find the station.

Who knows what number WBZE comes out?
Oh, I think it's 10 -7. No, no, no, no.

-95. 12 -95. That's it.

12 -95 is what you paid for that belt
this morning, woman.

Oh, I got it. You're listening to WBZE.

12 -95 on the dial. See?

Coming up next, the winner of the WBZE
Be a DJ for a Week contest, Lester

Jenkins.

That doesn't sound like Lester.

That's because it isn't, Eva.

Hey, all you night owl's lovers and
insomniacs.

Get ready for the sound of jazz.

I'm your genial host, Lester Letskin
Jazzy Jenkins, the lone wolf of late

He's off to a bad start, Mary.

The dog is complaining already.

The Lone Wolf is his trademark. He
started when he was a DJ in college.

Oh. Now let's get down to some serious
listening.

While I dedicate this first tune to the
one I love, it's our favorite, Stardust.

Who's he talking about?

He's talking about me, Eva.

Thank you, honey.

Mary, you're so lucky to win this
contest for Lester.

I know.

Well, he's always had two dreams, one to
be a movie star, the other to be a DJ.

They ain't had no movie star contest.

So I settled for the DJ.

Well, he's better off anyway.

You know, Billy the Williams and Eddie
Murphy got all the women sold up anyway.

I know that's right.

You know, I was telling Lester, in the
next two weeks, he'll spend so much wax,

he'll think he's an ear doctor.

And that was starred us by Art Tatum.
Well, I see the phone lines are lighting

up. Let's take a request.

You're on with the long walk. What can I
do for you?

Hi, I'm Suzanne.

How about making me shake with delight?

Hey, I don't think I know that tune.

You're talking to the lone wolf. What'll
it be?

I'm Vicki, and I'd rather tell you
private.

Whoa! What's going on out there tonight?

We're taking a break for a commercial.
We'll be right back with Jimmy Smith.

He'll have his mojo working, and
apparently mine is working right now.

Hey, babe, the lone wolf is off the air
and back in his lair. How'd you like the

old wolf call? Oh!

Oh,

that's what that was.

I thought you said on the microphone.

Oh, I'm just kidding, honey. You were
terrific.

Did you hear all those calls from my
female fans?

Yeah. I also saw how you were eating it
up.

I'm just doing my job, Mary. You know,
winning that contest for me might have

been a big mistake. I mean, you had to
know that the lone wolf was going to get

a lot of calls from all those lonely
little red riding hoods out there.

And that's only a hint of things to
come.

Oh, Grandpa, what a big imagination you
have.

You know, I think I'll get me a new
black book. No, a Rolodex. One of those

gadgets they got in the bakery that
says, take a number for faster service.

I got your number.

And if any of those little red riding
hoods ever decide to pick your number,

they're going to really be disappointed
because they won't get any service.

You'll be running so fast, they'll think
you're the roadrunner.

Couldn't even handle it, you chicken.

I could if I wanted to, but I don't want
to. But if I did, I could.

Watch out, all you D .C. dollies. The
lone wolf is on the howl again.

Howl!

Don't move. Wait right there. I'll get
the lawnmower so you can shave your

And that was Miles Davis and Thelonious
Monk.

And you're listening to WBZE, the big
buzz in Washington, D .C. And this is

Lone Wolf, hoping the mood is right to
help you make it through the night. Oh,

that goes the mood and the night.

Hey, hey, home DJ boy.

What do you say?

I'm trying to do a show. Go home.

You know, Lester, I've listened to your
show all weekend. You're in

construction. How about a little
constructive criticism?

Okay, none of your clothes match.

Stop it. You're killing me. Lone wolf
humor. What the hell?

Lester, we came to throw your show a
life preserver because it's sinking

It's not you, Lester. You we love.

It's your music.

Yeah, I know. It's jazz. The thinking
man's music. But, of course, you guys

wouldn't know anything about that.

Now, now, before you scoff, check out
the Travis Fillmore collection of

happening sounds.

After seven.

Fine young cannibals.

De la soul.

Donnie and Marie in the Holy Land.

Give me that.

Guys, beat it. Beat it. Michael Jackson.
There you go.

That's a little closer to a fresh sound.

I got a fresh sound for you. Sound that
door hitting you in the butt. Now get

out of here before I... Get down with
the sound and sing your frown.

Let's take another request.

You all look the wrong wolf. What can I
do for you?

Hi, Wolfie.

It's Christy.

I'm taking a bubble bath and thinking of
you.

I sure wish I was one of those bubbles.

Please start us for me.

Hey, baby, I got it all queued up and
waiting for you.

So what do you say?

Has your soap started to melt yet?

to that sexy howl. Anytime you say your
tub or mine.

Whoa, whoa, time out. Tub check.

Hold on, baby.

What is it? I don't believe what I'm
hearing. I do not believe what I'm

I am in shock city. I'm living in the
corner of I don't believe and this.

Are you crazy?

Aren't you forgetting about something?
Like your marriage, your vows, Mary's

left hook.

You guys don't understand. This is me.

She's using a phony, sexy voice. She's
trying to play a trick on me. She's been

calling all week, requesting Stardust.
That's our favorite song.

Ah.

Ah.

So the spouse is trying to keep the old
spice in the marriage. Very Dr.

Ruth.

You howling dogs.

Say, baby, I don't have a show tomorrow
night.

How about you and me getting together at
my place around 8 -ish?

I'll be there.

And when I get there, I'm going to take
you places you've never been before.

I'm going to go towel off now.

So am I.

Well, Mary, it's almost 8 o 'clock.

You know, baby, ever since you've been
at the radio station, you just can't

announcing the time.

Well,

I see the lone wolf is turning in early
tonight.

As if you didn't know what.

Oh, baby, I wouldn't sit down in those
silk pajamas if I were you. You may slip

off the sofa and slide right into the
kitchen.

Well, the sofa wasn't where I was
planning on doing my slipping and

Oh, no, you don't.

I haven't been out with the girls in a
long time, and it's the first time I'm

going out, and I'm going.

You going out tonight?

Yeah, you got a problem with that?

Oh, no, I get it.

That makes sense.

You have to leave our place so you can
come back over to my place.

I got it. I like that. That's cool.

I hate to tell you this, but I think you
got a problem in that place.

Well, anyway, bye -bye.

Good night.

Good night, baby. Sleep tight.

And don't let those soup worms bite.

Oh, Mad Jenkins, you sure know how to
play the love game.

That didn't take long.

I'm coming, Mary.

I mean, Christy.

Hi,

Wolfie.

Wolfie?

Who are you?

Play Stardust for me?

Oh, no. You better be the Avon lady or
I'm in big trouble.

I'm Christy.

My, what a nice place you have here.

No, no. Christy just went to the movies.

Oh, wow.

Sweet, a picture of your mother.

That's my wife.

I'm a married man.

Who isn't these days?

You know, you're even sexier than your
voice.

It's the light. I always look good with
a three -way ball.

Can I sit down?

You know that dress better than I do.

Well, you better make a mental note of
it. It may be gone before you know it.

Say, listen, when I made that date with
you on the phone, I thought you were my

wife playing a trick on me. You know,
when we talked on the phone, I felt a

spark between us. Let's see if we can
turn that spark into a fire.

Howl for me, Wolfie, howl.

What do you know? That's the door. You
and your dress have got to leave. Nice

meeting you. Oh, I just love it when you
touch me. Get your hands off me, will

you?

Hey, Lester, Mary.

That don't look like Mary to me.

Is this going to take long, Wolfie?

Wolfie!

Look, fellas, it's not what you think.

It could be if you two would leave.

I can't. I got locked out of the... We
got locked out of the apartment. I

thought he had the keys. He goes, no,
no, no. I think you have the keys. I go,

no, no, no.

Anyway, we're locked out and you're
locked out.

No, no, no, fellas. Now, I know what
you're thinking. Of course you do,

We're all guys here.

Don't worry about it. The secret's safe
with us. You big daddy Wolfie.

We'll leave you, Wolfie. We'll get out
of your hair.

No, wait a minute. Hey, wait.

Look,

now, I'm sorry you came all the way over
here. I told you I'm a married man. I

feel guilty enough already.

Well, as long as you feel guilty, might
as well give you something to feel

guilty about.

I don't want to feel guilty.

Hi, Daddy.

Now I feel guilty.

Hi. Who are you?

Uh, Brenda, this is Christy. Christy,
this is my daughter, Brenda, and my

daughter. This is Christy, and Christy
was just leaving. Wasn't she, Christy?

Perhaps this isn't a good time.

I'll, uh, see you again soon, Wolfie.

Bye.

Wolfie!

Dad, what was she doing here, and why
are you wearing your making -up -with

pajamas?

Friend, I don't know who that woman is.

She called me at the radio station. I
thought it was your mother playing a

on me, so I invited her over for a date.
Then your mother went to the movies,

and Christy showed up, and you came in
the nick of time, and I sure hope you

believe me.

Slow down, Daddy. I do believe you. Oh,
good.

By the way, Daddy, can I have a raise in
my allowance?

Hey,

I'm just kidding.

But if I were you, I wouldn't mention
this to Mom.

Look, I don't have anything to hide.
Your mother and I have a marriage that's

based on trust. She's very
understanding, reasonable, sensible.

So you're telling me to keep my mouth
shut?

You got that right.

So how are your eggs, baby?

Mmm, just the way I like them.

Cooked by somebody else.

Oh, by the way, did I tell you I had a
dream about you last night?

Oh, yeah?

Was it rated PG or R?

X.

I dreamed I caught you with another
woman.

No, no, I wasn't coming, baby. I was
laughing.

Me with another woman? That's
hysterical. Me?

What'd you do when you got me?

I ripped your heart out with a linoleum
knife.

Oh, pass the orange juice.

Man, you gotta stop eating those chili
dogs late at night.

That's what's causing you to have all
these wacky dreams.

Nobody? Must be nobody again.

You know, I don't know what's wrong with
you.

You've been acting mighty strange
lately.

I guess somebody in the family has to
have some manners.

Good morning.

I'm Christy Connors.

I'm with the National Marriage Research
Center.

Would you mind answering a few questions
about your marriage?

Mary, tell her I already answered at the
office.

Oh, honey, come on in, Miss Connors.
Thank you.

Oh, I'm Mary Jenkins, and that's my
husband, Lester.

Nice to meet you.

Oh, Mr.

Jenkins, your hand is all sweaty.

You're not nervous, are you?

No, it's a new lotion for men called
Happily Married.

Well, have a seat, Miss Connors. Thank
you.

Okay. Now, first of all, how long have
you two been married?

Oh, 22 years. Yes, 22 wonderful years.

Okay. Now, how would you rate your
marriage? Would you rate it A, heaven on

earth, B, acceptable, C, a living hell,
or D, all of the

above?

I think we'd have to say A.

Don't you, dear? Oh, come on, baby. It's
got to be higher than that. I'd say

triple A, and I don't mean emergency
roadside service.

Oh, very good. Now, to get a little
personal, How many times a week do you

your wife... 149 times each and every
week.

You go to the movies 149 times a week?

What can I say? He loves popcorn.

Okay, now I hope this next question
doesn't make you too uncomfortable, but,

Mr. Jenkins, do you ever have, uh,
fantasies about other women?

Uh, no, no, no. ever since I've been
married to, uh, uh, uh... Mary.

I have no interest in women.

Thank you.

I'll remember that. Tonight, tomorrow,
and the next night.

Come on, Mary, was this a joke? You
know, when you've been happily married

we have, you're always making these
crazy jokes.

Well, Mrs. Jenkins, you are so fortunate
to have a man like your husband.

Sometimes I think all of the good ones
have been taken.

They have. That's why I married him.

That's another one of those happily
married jokes. Let me show you to the

Goodbye, Mrs. Jenkins.

Goodbye, Miss Connors. Goodbye, Mr.
Jenkins. Thank you for your help.

Don't come back.

There's a picture of me in a string
bikini. Not for your fantasy.

I don't want your picture!

Now, let's take another request.

How are you doing tonight?

Play Stardust for me. Uh, we'll be right
back.

Christy, you have got to stop this.

I have to see you again. I don't want to
lose what we have.

We have nothing. You may have something.
Matter of fact, you've got plenty of

something. I have plenty of nothing, and
nothing is plenty for me.

How's tomorrow night? No!

I knew you'd come around. I'll see you
around 7 .30, okay? Christy, listen.

Oh!

This is a lone ranger. I mean, a lone
wolf.

I mean... We're back on the air.

Who is it?

It's Rose.

Oh.

Oh, Rose, I'm so glad to see you.

What the hell you want?

Where's Mary? I don't know. She's not
home.

Oh, all right. Well, tell her I came by.
Oh, by the way, Mr. Lone Wolf, Warren

and I have been listening to you, and
you are so sexy.

Shut up. I bet those radio groupies keep
your phone lines busy, huh?

Who told you that? I mean, that's not
true. I haven't received any calls at

Wait now. Now, I know I've called you at
least twice.

You see, Warren would like for you to
play a little more Wynton, Marcella. Uh

-huh. Because it drives him crazy, which
drives me crazy.

Good evening, Rose. It's always a
pleasure to see your face. And it's

pleasure to see yours, especially when
I'm leaving.

And the beautiful back here is... Stop
it, Julian.

Lester, I need your expertise.

You see, I'm building some shelves over
my bed now. What's the best way to keep

books from falling on my head during an
earthquake?

Glue them to the shelves.

San Francisco certainly could have used
you.

Listen, Julian, I got a big problem.
See, there's this incredibly gorgeous

female listener who won't leave me
alone. She can't keep her hands off of

Well, shoot, I'd be happy to take her
hands off your hands.

No, this is serious. I got to get rid of
her. Look, she even gave me this

picture.

Wait a minute.

I recognize this bikini and the woman
who is almost in it. This is Joanne

Watson. No, no, no, her name is Christy
Connors. I beg to differ with you,

Lester. She's an actress. In fact, she
was the first woman to star in Give Him

Hell, Harry.

No, no, you're talking about somebody
else.

Lester, any time a woman plays Harry S.
Truman, you don't forget her.

She's in that little theater group, the
Ninth Street Players.

Hey, that's the group that Mary belongs
to.

Then Mary must know her.

Yeah, but why didn't she say so when
what's -her -name was over here the

morning?

Eddie, schoolboy can figure this out.
Mary is testing your fidelity.

But that's crazy. I'm not going to do
anything, and even if I were to... Wait

minute.

She's trying to turn the lone wolf into
a roadrunner to see if he'll run out of

the bakery like a chicken?

Well, I'll show her two can play that
game.

Hi, Wolfie.

I told you not to come back. I'm hungry.

Then go down to the pizza place on the
corner. I'm hungry for love.

Then tell him to hold the onions.

You know, Wolfie, I've been thinking
about you morning, noon, night, walking

dog, ironing my clothes. I told you I'm
a married man. Poor Lester, he's so

scared.

Yeah, I think the lone wolf better throw
in the towel on that hog.

I can't believe that you and Joanne
would pull such a low -down, dirty trick

me. John, I love it.

He was the one bragging about all the
women, how he had what it takes.

I used to have what it takes, but now I
forgot what it took.

Get your hot body off of me.

Now, listen, let's be logical.

Suppose we did have this meaningless
fling. Do you think it's worth

the lives of a whole lot of people just
for one spectacular night together?

Mm -hmm, I really do.

Then that's good enough for me, baby.

Lester, what are you doing?

Nothing yet, but I will.

I should have done this days ago.

Mary! What should he have done days ago?

Take it out of my life insurance.

Come to Wolfie, baby.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Lester, I'm
having second thoughts about this. I

we're making a very big mistake here.
No, no, the mistake would be if we

take advantage of this magical moment.
Now, are you going to come to Wolfie, or

does Wolfie have to chase you around his
land?

Let's go for the chase. No!

Oh,

no, no, thank goodness.

What do you think you're doing?

And don't leave out the good stuff.

Well, Mary, to be honest, you've heard
of the seven -year itch. Well, I got the

22 -year tickle. Christy and I are an
item.

Oh, no, we're not.

Mary, I know the name of a very good
lawyer.

And you can come live with me till the
whole sordid mess is over.

Oh, no.

I'm not going anywhere. If anybody's
going anywhere, it's going to be him.

dare you chase around with this...

That's not a nice thing to say to Joanne
after all she's done for you.

All she's done for me?

Ha! All Joanne has done for me is...
Joanne!

Oh, did I say Joanne? I meant Christy.

Oh, Lester, you knew all the time.

How'd you find out? Never mind.

Everybody out!

Okay.

Not you, Mary.

You have a lot of explaining to do.

And Mary?

Don't you ever ask me to do anything
like this again.

My husband would kill me.

Claire Jenkins, why'd you pull such a
dumb, stupid trick in the first place?

You were the one bragging about how all
the little red riding hoods would be

chasing after you. I just wanted to
prove that if they did, you would run

rabbit. You gotta admit it was funny.

Funny? It was hysterical. It was so
funny, in fact, I'm gonna be sleeping on

their couch for the next six months.

Wolfie. Wolfie my butt.

Wolfie.

Little Red Riding Hood's been to
Grandmama's house and brought you back a

of goodies.

Goodies?