All language subtitles for 227 s05e12 Guess Whos Not Coming

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,899 --> 00:00:04,940 There's no place like home. 2 00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:09,180 With your family around you, you're never alone. 3 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:13,100 When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. 4 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,840 Cause there's no place like home. 5 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:20,420 Times are changing every day. 6 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:27,920 We won't get by with those flame away Pulling together, we'll make it right 7 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:34,440 With help from our friends, I know we'll get by Cause there's no place like home 8 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:40,840 With your family around you, you're never alone When you know that you love, 9 00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:47,780 you don't need to roam Cause there ain't no place like There ain't no 10 00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:48,900 place like 11 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,200 There's no place like home. 12 00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:58,320 I mean, no place like home. 13 00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:00,940 Brenda, 14 00:01:02,260 --> 00:01:04,560 I need your finger to tie this bow. 15 00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:07,520 I will if you sign this permissions list. 16 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,380 Oh, is this the new Christmas rule? I need permission to tie a bow? 17 00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:17,000 No, Mom, this is about my Christmas ski trip. We can't put it off any longer. It 18 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,260 starts tomorrow, and I can't go unless you sign this. 19 00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:22,020 Honey, this will be your first Christmas away from home. 20 00:01:22,220 --> 00:01:25,440 Are you sure you want to do this? Yes. See, you're having second thoughts 21 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:26,440 already. 22 00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:29,220 Oh, 23 00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:31,560 I'll think about it. 24 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:36,020 Hi, Mary. Merry Christmas. 25 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,880 Oh, Mary, I made a fruitcake for your party. 26 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,840 Pearl, you made a fruitcake last year. 27 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,120 It's the same one. 28 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,600 I'm going to keep on making it until somebody eats it. 29 00:01:51,150 --> 00:01:52,850 And I baked you some Pfeffernuss. 30 00:01:54,010 --> 00:01:55,010 Gesundheit. 31 00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,070 No, Pearl. Pfeffernuss are Swedish Christmas cookies. 32 00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:03,110 Pfeffernuss. Oh, let me see. 33 00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:09,350 Fabulous. 34 00:02:09,910 --> 00:02:13,930 When I finish these, I'll start on your fruitcake. 35 00:02:15,530 --> 00:02:16,530 Finally. 36 00:02:20,660 --> 00:02:21,660 That must be Rose. 37 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:25,159 Hi, Mary. 38 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:26,320 Hi, girl. Hi. 39 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:29,860 I just dropped by to let you know that I will be bringing the eggnog for your 40 00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:34,280 party. Last year, you had too much egg and not enough nog. 41 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,360 Well, Pearl, it was a family party. 42 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:40,740 Oh. 43 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,280 Oh, Rose, are we finally going to get a chance to meet your new boyfriend at the 44 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,039 Christmas party? 45 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,840 Yes, the mysterious Warren. 46 00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:49,260 Oh, who? made the Pfeffer news. 47 00:02:50,260 --> 00:02:51,820 You see that? She did it again. 48 00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:57,640 Every time we mention him, she changes the subject. If you ask me, I think he's 49 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:58,640 on the most wanted list. 50 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:00,300 He is. 51 00:03:00,540 --> 00:03:01,540 Mine. 52 00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:05,160 See, that's why I don't want to talk about him. I don't want to jinx him. 53 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,800 Well, good. Don't talk about him. 54 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,120 Let's talk food. 55 00:03:09,180 --> 00:03:11,000 How big a turkey you getting, Mary? 56 00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:13,800 Well, if I invite Julian, I won't need a turkey. 57 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,580 I wanted this to be a merry Christmas. 58 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:28,880 Okay, Mom. This is positively the last time I'm going to ask you to sign this 59 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,880 paper. Good. No, Mom. 60 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:33,620 This is the last time. Mom, can I go? 61 00:03:34,260 --> 00:03:37,140 Honey, it just doesn't feel right, your being away for Christmas. 62 00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:38,940 Besides, I know your father won't like it. 63 00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:40,740 He bought me the ski outfit. 64 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:42,760 Yes, but to wear around the house. 65 00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:49,380 Mary, you know, I've been listening to this conversation, and you know what I 66 00:03:49,380 --> 00:03:51,200 think? I think she wants to go skiing. 67 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:54,540 You know, Eva, I've been listening to you, and you know what I think? 68 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,520 I think you ought to give me back my business. 69 00:03:59,140 --> 00:04:00,140 Please. 70 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,360 Oh, all right. 71 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,200 Thank you. 72 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:08,600 Such a good mother. 73 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,900 Happy skiing and Merry Christmas. 74 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,240 Congratulations, Brenda. 75 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,780 Yeah, good luck, Brickley. 76 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,519 I didn't mean that. 77 00:04:22,019 --> 00:04:23,560 Wait till I tell the girls. 78 00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:28,980 Oh, my little bird is leaving the nest. 79 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,780 And she's been replaced by a big buzzard. 80 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,900 I'm sorry, Mary, but I've been getting a lot of complaints about your garish 81 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:42,900 holiday decorations. 82 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:44,640 Complaints from who? 83 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:49,640 Me. This week, this stinking up the hallway with pine scent and that candle 84 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,860 the window is attracting moths. 85 00:04:52,220 --> 00:04:53,380 And other pests. 86 00:04:55,360 --> 00:05:00,280 Julian, why do I get that distinct feeling that Christmas is not your 87 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:04,960 time of year? Oh, I suppose you enjoy the pressure of buying a gift for the 88 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,180 world and his wife. 89 00:05:06,650 --> 00:05:12,330 Standing in those long, long post office lines and sniveling over those sugary 90 00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:14,370 Charlie Brown specials. 91 00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:19,430 Then I suppose you really wouldn't want to come to the Jenkins' annual 227 92 00:05:19,430 --> 00:05:21,010 Christmas Eve caroling party. 93 00:05:21,290 --> 00:05:24,310 Ladies, I would rather watch snow melt. 94 00:05:24,930 --> 00:05:29,410 But since you're all so bound by tradition... 95 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,800 Let's not forget the traditional tipping of the landlord. 96 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:37,320 Right. And I've got a special tip for you this year. Oh, good. 97 00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:38,640 Watch out for the door. 98 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,000 Ho, 99 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:48,880 ho, ho, homeboy. 100 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,360 I'm ho, ho, ho. 101 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,220 Hey, Travis. 102 00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:57,520 Hey. I finally figured out what to give my parents for Christmas. 103 00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,520 A sack of dirty laundry? 104 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,080 No, no, no. Besides that. 105 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:07,280 You know, it occurred to me while I was listening to the Bingmeister sing, I'll 106 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:08,280 be home for Christmas. 107 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,060 Why not get them me for Christmas? 108 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,460 Don't they have one already? 109 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:16,120 I'm not sitting under the Christmas tree, so I'm off to Connecticut to 110 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:17,120 my folks. 111 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,680 You did that when you were born. 112 00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:25,840 Funny. A yuletide yuck. You're killing me. 113 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,640 I gotta go. I love you. your present under the tree. Thanks, Dylan. Well, I 114 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:30,660 as well give you your present now. 115 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,080 I'll drive you to the train station. 116 00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:35,300 I don't want to take to pick that out. 117 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,580 I've been working on it for months. 118 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,480 Wait a minute. 119 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:41,800 Christmas flash. 120 00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:45,400 Why don't you drive me all the way to Connecticut? My parents would be so 121 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,860 shocked to see me, they won't even notice another mouth to feed. 122 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,020 Oh, Dylan, thanks for the warm and toasty thought, but I gotta work. You 123 00:06:51,020 --> 00:06:53,800 Christmas and New Year's is the busiest time of the year in the limo business. 124 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,870 Hmm. Woe is you. 125 00:06:56,370 --> 00:07:00,070 Well, I'll be thinking of you while I munch my mom's mince pie and figgy 126 00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:01,070 pudding. 127 00:07:01,930 --> 00:07:04,330 Aw, man, it looks like you're gonna miss Mary's party, too. 128 00:07:05,110 --> 00:07:06,430 Holy etiquette alert, Travis. 129 00:07:07,090 --> 00:07:09,550 I better RSVP and tell Mary I'm not gonna make it. 130 00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:12,830 Well, feliz navidad, mi amigo. 131 00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:18,530 God bless you, tiny Trav. 132 00:07:31,370 --> 00:07:32,510 Thanks for letting me down, Easy. 133 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,250 No, no, you don't understand. 134 00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:37,990 I've finally been invited to the Van Gogh Paintbox Festival. 135 00:07:38,210 --> 00:07:39,210 Want to hear about it? 136 00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:41,530 Van Gogh? I'm all ear. 137 00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:48,550 Well, it's a retreat to meet other artists and have my work critiqued. I've 138 00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:50,730 on the waiting list for months, and I'm leaving tomorrow. 139 00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:52,370 Oh, well, that's great. 140 00:07:52,570 --> 00:07:55,750 That's a wonderful opportunity, Eva. But I'll miss you. 141 00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:57,270 Oh, you're not angry. 142 00:07:57,630 --> 00:07:59,830 Oh, of course not. There'll be another party next year. 143 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,420 Oh, no, I don't think I can come next year either. They're already talking 144 00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:04,860 a Toulouse -Lautrec retreat. 145 00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:07,100 Bye. Merry Christmas. 146 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,580 Well, it'll take her a year to learn how to walk on her knees. 147 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,300 You leave it to me. 148 00:08:16,820 --> 00:08:17,820 Mary's my friend. 149 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000 I'll handle it. 150 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,520 Okay. Handle what? 151 00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:21,740 Tell her, Calvin. 152 00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:27,000 We're not going to be able to come to your party tomorrow night. 153 00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:31,950 My cousin Bertha invited us over to a Christmas reunion. 154 00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:35,510 I thought you two hated each other. We do. 155 00:08:36,190 --> 00:08:37,370 That's how come I'm going. 156 00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:42,830 Yeah, cousin Bertha think it's time to bury the hatchet. She got to take it out 157 00:08:42,830 --> 00:08:43,830 of my back first. 158 00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,290 Okay, I understand. 159 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,130 Blood is thicker than eggnog. 160 00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:53,150 Well, I'll miss you. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you, Mary. 161 00:08:53,590 --> 00:08:54,590 Bye. 162 00:08:56,010 --> 00:08:58,250 Well, on to the incredible shrinking party. 163 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,550 Boy, that tree sure looks great. It's a shame nobody's gonna see it, but you and 164 00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:08,890 me and Sandra and Rose and Rose's unknown boyfriend, if there is a 165 00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:12,830 She hasn't had a boyfriend all this time. 166 00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:14,870 Would you hush? 167 00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:18,350 Hi, Mary. 168 00:09:18,730 --> 00:09:19,750 Lester. Hi, Rose. 169 00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:21,330 Here's the eggnog for the party. 170 00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:23,010 Mary, you're gonna kill me. 171 00:09:23,350 --> 00:09:24,410 Why, is it that bad? 172 00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:28,990 No, but my news is, you're not coming to the party. See, I knew you'd 173 00:09:28,990 --> 00:09:29,990 understand. 174 00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:32,950 And what is your excuse? 175 00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:37,310 Well, my boyfriend Warren invited me to a party, so I can't come to yours. I'm 176 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,650 sorry. See, I told you we're never going to meet this guy. 177 00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:43,150 Sure you will, but it just won't be tomorrow night. 178 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:47,030 Oh, come on, Mary. You won't even miss me at your party. 179 00:09:47,350 --> 00:09:49,190 Besides, Sandra's going to be there. 180 00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:52,030 Oh, goody, goody, goody, goody. You mean I get to have her all to myself? 181 00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:55,590 Sandra is your only guest? 182 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,970 In my other life, I must have done something pretty rotten. 183 00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:04,570 Yeah. 184 00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:05,970 Reindeer ground. 185 00:10:07,930 --> 00:10:09,790 I sure hope your house broken. 186 00:10:10,850 --> 00:10:16,090 I'm Rudolph the Singing Reindeer with a telegram from Sandra Clark for Mary 187 00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:17,090 Jenkins. 188 00:10:18,390 --> 00:10:20,490 That's Mary Jenkins right there, that first lady. 189 00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:23,050 Hmm. 190 00:10:27,050 --> 00:10:29,230 I won't be at your party because I'm in the Bahamas. 191 00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:36,690 Sandra Clark is sending her regrets. Okay, yeah, let him go now. She met a 192 00:10:36,690 --> 00:10:39,830 man. He's got a nice yacht. You better get out before you get shot. 193 00:10:45,550 --> 00:10:48,250 And then there were two. 194 00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:53,390 Hey, babe, you're not still upset about the party, are you? Of course not. 195 00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,210 I'd rather be alone with you. 196 00:10:55,970 --> 00:10:56,970 Yeah. 197 00:10:57,270 --> 00:10:59,990 Uh, Mary, can you reheat a turkey? 198 00:11:00,270 --> 00:11:01,270 Yeah, why? 199 00:11:01,290 --> 00:11:03,930 Uh, you want to go in the bedroom and see if Santa's come yet? 200 00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:07,610 All right! 201 00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:09,770 Oh! 202 00:11:11,850 --> 00:11:13,790 Somebody's always blocking my exit. 203 00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:16,730 Hello! Huh? 204 00:11:16,970 --> 00:11:17,970 Oh, hi, Sam. 205 00:11:18,430 --> 00:11:19,430 What? 206 00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:27,499 What happened? 207 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:30,920 Oh, some blockhead ran a cement truck into the lobby of the new Oldham 208 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,600 and damaged one of the support beams. 209 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,720 Well, it's not your fault. Why do you have to go? Mary, I got to make sure the 210 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:36,740 building's not going to collapse. 211 00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:39,320 Baby, you got a bad back. You can't hold up that building. 212 00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:43,820 Look, Mary, I'm sorry, but I'm the boss. I'm responsible. 213 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,340 But I hate leaving you alone on Christmas Eve. You going to be all 214 00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:48,580 Yeah, I'll be okay. 215 00:11:48,860 --> 00:11:49,679 Hurry back. 216 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:50,680 Okay. 217 00:11:55,709 --> 00:11:57,710 Silent night. 218 00:12:02,650 --> 00:12:04,590 Lonely night. 219 00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:20,610 To be jolly. Ah, 220 00:12:21,370 --> 00:12:22,370 boy. 221 00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:35,030 I'll just pretend the guest was still here, and I'll open my presents. 222 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,570 Oh, Brenda, what did you get Mother for Christmas? 223 00:12:39,610 --> 00:12:43,510 Oh, do Mom love Brenda? Well, I'll just see what it is. 224 00:12:49,990 --> 00:12:52,350 You brought me something you wanted to wear again, huh? 225 00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:54,950 Well, I'm going to fix you. I'm wearing it to church on Sunday. 226 00:13:01,710 --> 00:13:03,010 Pearl, don't you ever stop eating. 227 00:13:03,330 --> 00:13:06,250 I can't talk now, Mary. My mouth's full. 228 00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:10,790 Eva, where are you going? 229 00:13:11,130 --> 00:13:16,030 Oh, Mary, I have to go back upstairs and get my ice culture of the nativity. 230 00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:34,020 He's coming down the chimney in half an hour. 231 00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:42,680 Rose, I didn't recognize you. 232 00:14:21,390 --> 00:14:27,510 busy caroling party and i didn't i just came to complain 233 00:14:27,510 --> 00:14:33,950 about all this rambunctious hey 234 00:14:33,950 --> 00:14:40,590 babe babe 235 00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:46,810 want to go in the bedroom and see if santa claus has come okay 236 00:14:46,810 --> 00:14:48,990 well i got to go babe 237 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,120 Who am I fooling? 238 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,720 There's no reveling going on around here. 239 00:14:56,620 --> 00:15:00,300 This is supposed to be the happiest day of the year, and I'm miserable and 240 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:01,300 alone. 241 00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:04,940 Alone? 242 00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:06,820 I don't have to be. 243 00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,200 Who is it? 244 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:13,500 Reindeer! 245 00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:20,060 Well, if it isn't little Mary Mistletoe come to spread some Christmas cheer. 246 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:25,560 What is it you spread, Mr. Ghost of Christmas Annoying? 247 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:30,060 Now that we have these pleasantries out of the way, what do you want? 248 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:31,880 Well... 249 00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:34,450 I was feeling bad because you were all by yourself. 250 00:15:34,870 --> 00:15:37,590 Well, that's very touching, Mary, but I'm fine. 251 00:15:37,830 --> 00:15:40,130 In fact, I am better than fine. 252 00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:43,330 I'm busy grouting the tile in my tub. Goodbye. 253 00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:48,570 Nobody should be alone on Christmas Eve, not even you. 254 00:15:48,790 --> 00:15:51,630 Unless they want to be, which I do. 255 00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:54,130 So go back to your party, Mary. 256 00:15:54,650 --> 00:15:55,850 Or is it so? 257 00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:59,050 Dull? That you had to come up here for amusement? 258 00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:01,910 Dull? My party dull? 259 00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:03,610 Oh, honey, we reveling downstairs. 260 00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:06,890 I think the music is jamming and the pheffanus is flying. 261 00:16:07,530 --> 00:16:10,770 I'm surprised you haven't heard it up here. Well, I wouldn't anyway. I always 262 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:15,630 blast my Walkman when I'm grouting my tiles. So dash away, dash away, dash 263 00:16:15,630 --> 00:16:16,630 you. 264 00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:24,380 Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was 265 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:26,040 stirring, not even my spouse. 266 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,640 Stockings were hung by the chimney with care, but who the heck cared? Nobody was 267 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:32,640 there. 268 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:34,700 Merry Christmas, Mom. 269 00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:36,100 Oh, Brenda, honey. 270 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:38,760 Where's the party? 271 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,360 Oh, everybody canceled. 272 00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,600 What happened to your ski trip? No snow? 273 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:47,840 I felt crazy being away from home on Christmas, so I came home. 274 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:49,120 Oh. 275 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:51,500 Where's Daddy? 276 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,040 Oh, we had a building emergency. 277 00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:58,260 I wonder who that is. Probably somebody canceled the next year's party. 278 00:17:00,740 --> 00:17:01,740 Merry Christmas! 279 00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:02,900 Travis! 280 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,200 Hey, don't tell me the party's pooped already. 281 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:08,700 I thought you were working. 282 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,760 I was. I was driving these people to this Christmas party, and they were 283 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,900 and joyous and everything, and I said to myself, Hey, homie. 284 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:18,780 How'd you do with your friends? 285 00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:21,720 And just then, I spotted these two hailing an ordinary cab. 286 00:17:22,579 --> 00:17:23,760 Pearl, Calvin! 287 00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:28,020 What happened to Cousin Bertha? Don't mention that old bag's name to me. 288 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,059 Oh, Mr. 289 00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:31,620 Jenkins, it was an ugly sight. 290 00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,300 What, Bertha? 291 00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:34,340 Huh, too. 292 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,400 It wasn't that no more than five minutes before Cousin Bertha started arguing 293 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:42,100 with Grandma over the same thing they've been arguing over for 25 years. 294 00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:43,319 What was that? 295 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,260 I forget, but don't mention the name no more. 296 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:46,600 Where is the food? 297 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,420 but I can get it right back out. All right. Come on, Brent. I'll be right 298 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:54,500 I'll get it. 299 00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:58,620 Oh, boy! 300 00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:00,680 Yahoo! Merry Christmas. 301 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:01,899 What happened? 302 00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:06,500 I go to Connecticut to my parents' crib to surprise them, and surprise, they're 303 00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:08,240 in Bermuda. They've decribbed. 304 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:10,680 Hey, Dylan! 305 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000 Merry Christmas. 306 00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:13,240 Merry Christmas. 307 00:18:20,780 --> 00:18:22,260 It was a disaster. 308 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:26,700 The place was overwhelmed with neo -abstract minimalists, and you know how 309 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:27,700 are. 310 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:31,060 Child, I know what you mean. I cross the street every time I see them. 311 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,320 Merry Christmas. 312 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:35,640 Merry Christmas. 313 00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:37,300 Hey, everybody! 314 00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:39,700 Merry Christmas! 315 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,120 Gross! 316 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:45,980 Oh, well, what happened to Mystery Man Warren's party? Well, we went to his 317 00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:48,840 party, and after his friends checked me out, I am... 318 00:18:49,050 --> 00:18:51,470 that he'd come with me to let my friends do the thing. 319 00:18:51,770 --> 00:18:53,290 Warren's downstairs parking the car. 320 00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:55,890 Shut your mouth. You mean I'm actually going to get to meet him? 321 00:18:56,730 --> 00:18:58,550 Warren! I'm in here, baby! 322 00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:06,270 Everybody, this is my boyfriend, Warren Merriweather. 323 00:19:07,110 --> 00:19:08,610 I ain't got no hair! 324 00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:11,350 Show them your hair, honey. 325 00:19:12,330 --> 00:19:13,330 Hello, everybody. 326 00:19:14,690 --> 00:19:17,830 Warren, this is my best friend and our hostess, Mary Jenkins. 327 00:19:19,210 --> 00:19:20,510 I'm tall, not deaf. 328 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,550 And this is Mary's daughter, Brenda. Hi there. 329 00:19:25,350 --> 00:19:30,850 And over here, we have Dylan, Calvin, Travis, Eva, and Miss Pearl Shea. What's 330 00:19:30,850 --> 00:19:31,850 up? Pleasure. 331 00:19:32,090 --> 00:19:35,630 You know what? We thought we were never going to get to meet you. This woman has 332 00:19:35,630 --> 00:19:42,610 kept you a great big... I mean, a little... I mean... It's all right. 333 00:19:42,670 --> 00:19:43,690 Really, I don't mind. 334 00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:47,630 Oh, excuse me. I brought you a gift. It's a magnum of champagne. It's in the 335 00:19:47,630 --> 00:19:48,630 hall. 336 00:19:51,189 --> 00:19:52,950 Sorry. Oh, Mary, he's so wonderful. 337 00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:54,430 But he is a little klutzy. 338 00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:58,070 Oh, no, Rose. I think he just has problems adjusting to his height. 339 00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:01,670 Uh, no, he's klutzy. 340 00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,490 I'll bring you another bottle tomorrow. 341 00:20:06,190 --> 00:20:08,150 Oh, Juan, that's okay. 342 00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:09,390 Come on, join the party. 343 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:11,470 Come on, hon. 344 00:20:11,850 --> 00:20:14,450 So, uh, what do you do for a living? 345 00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:15,750 Home big boy? 346 00:20:18,380 --> 00:20:19,380 I work undercover. 347 00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:21,660 As what? The Washington Monument? 348 00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:25,860 The Washington Monument. 349 00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:28,020 Get it? 350 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,320 Heard it. 351 00:20:29,740 --> 00:20:30,740 Heard them all. 352 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,700 Daddy! Ah, honey! 353 00:20:34,140 --> 00:20:36,180 Hey, Brandon, what you doing home? 354 00:20:36,420 --> 00:20:37,540 Man, where all these people come from? 355 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:38,880 Santa Claus brought them. 356 00:20:39,540 --> 00:20:41,100 They all decided to come back. 357 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:42,380 Well, what happened to the building? 358 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:43,459 Everything's fine. 359 00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:45,580 Oh, great. Come on, I want you to meet Rosa's boyfriend. 360 00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:47,360 You mean he's real? Yes. 361 00:20:47,740 --> 00:20:49,500 Honey, this is Rose's boyfriend. 362 00:20:50,060 --> 00:20:53,980 Why? Lester, what are you doing here? I live here. Get out. Yeah. 363 00:20:55,780 --> 00:20:59,180 Wait a minute. Now, you mean to tell me you two know each other? Sure. 364 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,340 Well, I was walking the beat when I was putting up the Johnson Medical Building. 365 00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:03,700 Good to see you, man. You too. 366 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:05,940 Well, Lester, I'm two -three with you. 367 00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:11,280 Why? You knew this man all along and did not introduce him to me. Rose, I didn't 368 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:12,280 think he was your type. 369 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,660 Lester, he's a man, ain't he? 370 00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:18,320 I think this calls for a toast. 371 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:19,820 Yeah, everybody get a cup. 372 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,040 Yeah. 373 00:21:24,420 --> 00:21:27,540 To the happiest and merriest Christmas of all. 374 00:21:27,780 --> 00:21:29,100 God bless us, everyone. 375 00:21:29,420 --> 00:21:30,520 Thank you, Tiny Dilly. 376 00:21:31,580 --> 00:21:32,700 Oh, wait, wait. 377 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:34,840 Everybody's not here. 378 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:36,300 But Mary Saunders is in the Bahamas. 379 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,220 Yeah. I had no bajillions upstairs alone. 380 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:41,840 She doesn't feel feverish. 381 00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:47,810 See, but I was alone for a few hours this Christmas Eve, and it felt rotten. 382 00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:50,370 wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, not even Julian. 383 00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:52,430 So come on, let's drag him down to the party. 384 00:21:53,670 --> 00:21:54,670 Yeah, she's right. 385 00:21:54,970 --> 00:21:55,970 She's right. 386 00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:58,350 Hi. 387 00:22:02,590 --> 00:22:03,610 Merry Christmas. 388 00:22:03,970 --> 00:22:06,250 Well, Merry Christmas. Is Mr. Barlow in? 389 00:22:22,220 --> 00:22:23,220 You chill out. 390 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,000 I am not Julian. I'm Santa, see? 391 00:22:26,580 --> 00:22:27,760 All right. 392 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,100 Santa, this I gotta see. 393 00:22:51,690 --> 00:22:55,370 Well, I don't. These are on loan from the local orphanage. 394 00:22:56,110 --> 00:22:58,110 I give them a party every Christmas. 395 00:22:58,490 --> 00:23:01,390 You? Christmas is for children. 396 00:23:01,690 --> 00:23:05,550 But everybody's so wrapped up in their own gift -giving frenzy, they forget 397 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:08,010 there are kids like these that need to be taken care of. 398 00:23:08,870 --> 00:23:12,230 Come on, Santa. We have to finish trimming the trees. 399 00:23:13,010 --> 00:23:14,510 Well, what is your name? 400 00:23:15,110 --> 00:23:16,950 Jimmy, are you Prince of Santa? 401 00:23:17,310 --> 00:23:19,250 Well, tonight we are. 402 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,840 Looks like you have your hands full. Could you use some help? Yes, I could 403 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:24,840 some extra elves. 404 00:23:25,340 --> 00:23:26,340 I'll volunteer. 405 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,740 I'll have us some elf impersonators. Well, Santa's can't be choosers. 406 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,620 Perhaps you could set up the food and bring us some more gifts in the bedroom, 407 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,600 would you please? Okay, Santa, you got it. Thank you. Come on, kiddies, let's 408 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:38,600 in the kitchen. 409 00:23:40,220 --> 00:23:43,020 And here I thought you were mean and rotten. 410 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:44,380 I am. 411 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:49,760 And if you dare leak this incident to the outside world, the next time you 412 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,480 a shower, you'll get frostbite. 413 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:56,920 Glad to see the suit hasn't changed you. Hey, what's Christmas without some 414 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:57,920 music? 30100

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