All language subtitles for 227 s05e09 Reunion Blues

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're
never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't
need to roam. Cause there's no place

home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with those same old
ways.

Pulling together, we'll make it right.

With help from our friends, I... No, we
can't die. Cause there's no place like

home. With your family around you,
you're never alone.

When you know that you're loved, you
don't need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like. Fair
enough to be there. There ain't no place

like. Fair enough to be there. Cause
there ain't no place like.

There's no place like home.

I mean no place child.

You're not going to believe this.

According to the National Snoop, a woman
in Tuscaloosa just gave birth to twin

alligators.

Oh, yeah? And who delivered them? A
luggage salesman?

Well, I hope she's planning to bottle
feed them.

How can you spend so much good money on
trash like the Snoop?

Well, I didn't, Mary. I found it in your
bathroom.

and in the birdcage with it.

Mayor, you don't have no birds.

Well, if I get a bird, Pearl, I'll need
a cage, won't I?

Excuse me.

I was wondering

if you could direct me to my Dilly.

Excuse me, your what?

My Dilly.

Oh, I'm Millie McMillan, Dilly's mother.

Oh, that's... Dilly.

Oh, how silly Millie.

I'm Mary Jenkins.

I'm Lou.

Dylan lives in apartment L on the third
floor.

Mary Jenkins. Oh, Dilly speaks so highly
of you.

Really? He must have had a fever that
day.

Listen, if you're going to be around for
a while, why don't you drop down for a

cup of coffee? Well, thank you.

Actually, I could use a cup of Drano.

Do you want it straight or with cream
and sugar?

No, it's for my dilly's pipes.

If I know him, they're all clogged up.

Sometimes I don't know if I'm a mother
or a plumber.

Do you get 50 bucks an hour?

No. Then you're a mother.

This is my mom, Hulk McMillan.

My friends call her Millie.

I'd shake your hand, but the circulation
in my arm hasn't come back yet.

Oh, Mr. Fillmore, I'm so very sorry. I
mistook you for a thief.

Dilly, shame on you. You didn't tell me
you had a roommate.

Yes, I did. When I wrote you the letter,
I told you there was a homeboy cold

chilling in the crib.

So that's what that meant.

So, my...

What brings you? An airplane.

An airplane.

Did you say an airplane? Stop it. You're
killing me. I love you. Go home.

And another visitor's son, Dilly.

I don't want to hug anyone who calls me
Dilly.

Oh, go ahead.

Hug me, Dilly.

I'm going to have to smirk off your
face. I'm going to have my mom break

nose.

What's the haps, huh? How's the bingo
league?

How's my dad?

Oh, this place could use a good
cleaning.

Did she say cleaning?

She always cleans when she's really,
really upset.

Oh, Mom, is this about Dad?

Nonsense. Just because I left him and I
never want to see him again, which drain

should I do first?

You left him? You left him? What do you
mean you left him? You left him?

Excuse me. I think I hear my parking
meter expiring.

This is Travis.

He's a very nice fellow.

Does he need any laundry done?

Come on, Mom, this is me, Dilly.

What's the matter?

Nothing, nothing.

I simply found out that two years ago,
your father, the one with the false

and the bad knees, cheated on me with an
office temp.

She worked one day and one night.

Dad cheated?

I don't believe this. This is a guy who
reads Playboy with his eyes closed.

Sure, take his side.

Why don't you call him?

Maybe there's some mistake.

Yes, and he made it. Now, where's the
bathroom? I'll start cleaning in there.

Oh.

You know, it'll read better if you turn
it right side up.

You read your way and I'll read mine.

Oh, Mary, would you mind getting up for
a minute? I dropped some change under

that pillow right next to the snoop.

I was supposed to have left that there.

Listen, forget that.

Why don't you come and join me for some
halftime activities? Who knows, I might

get my back feel in motion.

I think you just earned yourself a trip
to the sugar bowl.

Oh, damn. Get rid of him, whoever it is.
Just when you're about to complete a

pass, somebody calls time out.

Hi, Mary. Thanks for loaning my mom your
mop.

You just turned my mop into a pool cue.

No. An operating room is dirtier than my
apartment.

Mary, Mary, she won't stop cleaning.

Have you reached your father?

I tried like a million times. The guy's
not home.

Look, my mom's been really hurt.

I don't know what to tell her. I don't
know what to tell her. You know, I think

this calls for a woman's touch.

Leave it to me.

You'd do this for me?

I don't know what to say.

I do.

Say you'll run down to the supermarket
and get me another mop. All right.

Okay, honey, here I come.

Never mind. The second half just
started.

Sometimes I think nature must have
invented men the same day she invented

bunions.

Well, nature was having a good day when
she invented Lester.

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.

Except for this morning when I almost
broke my neck tripping over his bedroom

slippers.

How many times do you have to tell a man
to put his slippers where his slippers

belong? And how many times do you have
to ask them not to hang their jockey

shorts on the doorknob?

Well, I made a slogan for our bedroom.

The man's a slob who hangs his drawers
on the knob.

Did he worry? Oh, yeah. He starts
throwing them on the floor with his

his socks, his pants.

Well, you know what I think? It's their
hormones.

Makes them incapable of picking up their
socks or finding the laundry hamper.

Jen!

Pearl, dear, we are playing canasta.

She's cleaning again.

How can I get her to move in with me?

If she moves in with anybody, it's going
to be me.

You want another hand, Millie? Oh, thank
you. I don't think so.

You miss the cleaning and the dirty
laundry, don't you?

Mary, we were together 27 years.

We loved, we fought, we raised two
children.

We built a beautiful life together.

And if I ever see that bum again, he
better hope I'm not driving a bus.

Honey, you can't throw away 27 years of
marriage for a meaningless one night.

I mean, sure, he cheated on you and
betrays your trust.

But believe me, it doesn't mean he
doesn't love you.

No, but he took away my feeling good
about myself.

Made me feel less than a woman.

And now I can't go back.

and I'm too scared to go forward.

So... So I think I'll go paint Dilly's
bedroom.

And when I finish painting, I think I'll
scrub the floors.

Thanks for caring.

Men. Who needs them?

Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry.

No, it's my fault. I always forget to
signal.

Oh, look at the mess.

I'll clean it up.

Don't trouble yourself and pay no
attention to these plain wrapped goods.

happen to be a gourmet cook who isn't
easily snickered by the crass

commercialism of brand names.

I know what you mean. I buy cheap, too.

Cheap? You call saffron cheap? Oh, I
didn't see any saffron in there.

Oh, shoot.

I forgot to pick some up.

And you know, I make a saffron rice de
la Marseille to die for.

You make that, too?

It's my favorite.

And with some filet mignon.

Oh, it is a bite of heaven.

Oh. By the by, my name is Julian C.
Barlow.

Oh. Oh, you're the landlord.

Yes.

I'm Millie McMillan. Oh, I was so sorry
to have heard about your separation.

Thank you.

Word sure travels fast in this building.

Especially if the travel agent is Mary
Jenkins.

You know, I've been separated, too.

Oh. Yes, two, three, four times.

The first time is always the hardest,
but after that, you can phone it in.

Oh, that felt good.

This is the first time I've laughed in
days.

Well, you should do it more often
because laughter becomes you. Well,

I needed to hear that. It was very nice
meeting you.

Listen.

Why don't we continue this conversation
over dinner upstairs in my penthouse?

Oh, you have a penthouse?

Don't I look like a penthouse kind of
guy?

I know what. I'll fix my filet mignon
and saffron rice de la Marseille, and

you have to do is bring yourself.

Oh, well, thank you. Plus a couple of
prime cuts of filet, the saffron, a

of champagne.

Oh, I've got lots of rice.

Let me get a pencil.

My, things sure have changed since the
man last invited me to dinner.

Now, what was that?

Dome perignon.

Dome perignon.

You know, I'm really getting worried
about Kelly.

She's becoming a vacuum cleaner full of
neurosis.

I know. She is seriously depressed.

I wish there was something we could do
for her. How about hiding her cleaning

supplies?

Well,

all we can do is be here for her. You
know what they say.

Time heals all wounds.

Gotta dance!

Gotta dance!

Either time makes house calls or she
needs a straitjacket.

news for you wonderful new friends.

I met the nicest man.

Where? In the hallway.

I gotta start hanging out there more
often.

He's making dinner for me tonight in his
penthouse.

Penthouse?

Would this nice man's name be Dewey and
C. Barlow?

Gotta dance.

Gotta dance.

Excuse me, but I gotta pick up a couple
of filet mignons and champagne.

Gotta shop.

Gotta shop!

Wow!

Dylan,

do you ever think you'd be sitting
around waiting on your mom to go out on

date? Date? Date? It's not a date. Who
said it was a date? Did I say it was a

date? This is a good date when it's not
a date. It's not a date.

Well, at least it's making her feel
better.

Boy, I sure miss her doing my laundry.

Well, I'm off to fluffing Poland.

Mom! Are you ready yet?

How do I look?

You look beautiful, Mom.

Dad would love that dress.

Please go home and show it to him.

Just get the door.

Dylan.

Mildred. I have four words for you.

What are your intentions?

To take your mother out for a delightful
evening. So you admit it.

Dilly, Julian and I are friends. I'm
starting to feel good about myself, so

drizzling on my parade.

I'm just being a little overprotective.

What time are you having her back here?

Good night, Dilly. Dylan.

Good night, Dilly.

Dylan.

You know,

Coming home together always reminds me
of our first date. Yeah, me too.

Well, good night. It's been a lovely
evening.

Come back.

Ah,

no necking in the hallways.

What kind of place do you think I'm
running anyway?

Well, it's definitely not the Trump
Towers.

Please, Mary, even in the peak of
passion, you can't pass up an

prick my person with your poisonous put
-downs.

That's because it would be too
perplexing not to puncture your

in mid -pucker.

Oh, Lester, hi.

Mary?

I tipped the cabbie 15%. That's right,
isn't it? Wait a minute. You tipped the

cabbie? Well, I sprung for the dinner.

What was it, two for one night at the
taco hut?

Yes, and it was delicious.

Julian said that standing up while
eating is very good for the digestion.

Right, Julian? My, look at the time.
Well, let's not keep Lester and Mary up

longer. Good night.

It's 10 o 'clock.

Do you know where your mothers are?

Yo, Dylan!

You give me a hand with this TV!

Let's compromise.

I'll get the TV guide.

Man,

we're gonna have to either get a new TV
or buy this one a skateboard.

Travis Fillmore, when you get a free
second, could you please let him up?

Sorry about that, Mr. Travis.

What do you have, a family full of
bullies?

Good to see you, Dilly.

Where's your mother?

I stopped by the firehouse in
Poughkeepsie and she wasn't hanging out

sister.

Your sister is a fireman?

Yes, as a matter of fact, she joined
right after she got out of the Marines.

Speaking of the Marines, I think I'll
march into the bathroom and see if I can

relocate my back.

Look, Jilly, I'm sure you've heard the
whole story by now if I know your

mother's mouth.

But I love that mouth.

And I want it back.

Dad, how could you do this to Mom?

How could you do this to our family?

You know, you should be ashamed.

Believe me, son, I am.

But we all have made mistakes.

And sometimes we have to live with them
for the rest of our lives.

Anyway, it's between your mother and me.

So where is she?

I just...

Please, just sit down and relax.

She's probably somewhere in the
building. I'll go find her.

Yo, homeboy.

Uh, come on out and keep my home dad
company.

Honey, would you relax? I'll be right
back.

I promise. I'll be back before you can
say, first down.

Hi, Mary.

Is this a bad time?

Oh, no.

These are my door answering clothes.

Great, because I've got a really big
problem. My dad just showed up to

with my mom, but she's out with Julian.

No, she's not. They're upstairs in
Julian's penthouse.

Uh -oh.

Mary, could you go up there and kind of
get her out of there? And who elected me

house detective?

Mary, this whole thing wouldn't have
happened if you hadn't encouraged my mom

be so happy.

Oh, well, excuse the heck out of me for
wanting her to be happy.

Okay. Okay, you guilted me into it.

Thank you, Mary. I love you.

Um,

honey!

of a husband of yours, certainly let a
good thing slip away.

And your wives didn't know what they had
either. All three of them. Oh, yes,

they did.

And now they've got it and I don't.

There's that laugh again.

Millie, I hope you know that you are a
vibrant, attractive woman. And you make

the best key lime pie this side of Key
West.

You know, you're right.

I am good.

The best. In fact, I'm pretty terrific.

Now you're talking.

And I don't need him to feel this way.

What fool would be ringing my doorbell
at this hour?

All right, all right, all right.

Mary, I should... Is there a fire?

No, but you're about to be in a tornado.

Millie, honey, your husband's in the
building.

He is?

That cat has treated this dear woman.
I'd like to tell him a thing or two

myself. Well, I'm staying for dessert
with Julian.

I'm not afraid of that maniac, no matter
how violent he may get.

Violent maniac?

Why don't I get your dessert in a doggy
bag and you can just take it with you?

Now, Travis, pretend you're holding a
weapon. Right.

Now, pretend you're coming at me with
it. Okay.

Pretend like I'm not in agony.

See, you guys are getting along.

Did you find your mother?

No, I looked all over the building.

What I think happened is that she went
home. So why don't you go back to

Bridgeport and you'll both live happily
ever after. I know she's here and I'm

going to find her if I have to tear this
building apart brick by brick.

Mom!

Millie!

Oh, hi, Dylan. Where's Millie? Oh, we
come to see how our date went.

Hearing check.

Her what?

Oh, she must still be up in Julian's
penthouse.

Penthouse? Who's Julian?

I don't think you guys have met my dad.

Oh, you're Dylan's father.

As in Millie's husband.

I'm staying right here.

And that is my position.

Oh, yeah?

Well, if that's your position, then my
position is adios amigos.

Stop it! Stop it!

Millie.

I'll give you oomph.

Are you Julian?

Who?

I can't watch this. I'm going to have an
ulcer.

Now, there really is a good explanation
for all of this.

Well, of course there is.

Tell him what it is, Mary.

Mary.

Well, you see, Mildred is Julian's cook
and housekeeper. Yes, it's so hard to

get good help these days.

And she does windows.

We've got our own windows she can wash.

Millie, how could you go on a date with
your boss?

He's not my boss.

Thanks, but you don't have to protect
me, Mary. I haven't done anything wrong.

I was out to dinner with Julian.

He's my friend.

He appreciates me. He's helped me feel
good about myself again.

Mildred, your place is with me. I didn't
build that big house in Bridgeport to

sit in it all alone.

Why don't you hire some temporaries to
fill it?

Well, I think this is one of those times
when two's company and five is

ridiculous.

I'll just take this along for the road.

Guys.

Why don't we call a little truth here,
okay?

Dad's going to admit that he was a big
jerk, and Mom, you admit that you still

love him.

Come on, guys, why don't we put this
together, okay? Because I don't want to

the object of an ugly custody battle.

No, dude, I'm not going to beg. No
siree.

We McMillans come from strong stock.

We don't crack.

Oh, Millie, please forgive me. I'm so
sorry for all the pain I caused you. I

love you, and I need you to come home.

Please? If you want me to, I'll get down
on my knees.

No, no, not those knees. You'll never
get up again.

Now, listen, Buster. Let's get one thing
straight.

I'll come home with you, but you're on
probation.

You see, I'll always love you, but
you're not the only fish in the fish

And I've learned something. I can get
along without you very well.

So you better shape up or ship out.

You got it.