Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you're loved, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no

like home.

Time's gonna change it every day.

We won't get by with no flame away.

Pulling together, we'll make it right.

With help from our friends, I know we can fly. There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like, there ain't no place like,

There's no place like home.

I mean, no place, child.

And so the immigrants came to America, land of opportunity,

and they came in droves. Some of them even came in boats. Stop it!

I'll be here all week long.

Cut it out.

Ellis Island alone processed 5 million people. Do you know what that means?

It meant you couldn't get a good table at a decent restaurant, even if you knew

the major D.

Probably would have.

Now to the next official order of business.

Next Wednesday, thanks to the effort of the school board, a major recording

artist will be doing a video right here at Waverly High.

Who is it, Mr. McMillan?

Who is it?

My prerogative.

Dean Martin.

Milli Vanilli. Oh, my God.

That's a tough room.

No, Bobby Brown.

And as faculty advisor to the project, I'm authorized to select five students

from my class to appear in the video.

Yes!

So, uh, who are the other four?

the big -haired, the Carlo.

In fact, it'll be the five students that get the best grades on the essays

you'll be writing this weekend.

Excuse me. Yes,

you heard me correct. You'll be writing an essay this weekend, and the topic for

your brilliant essay will be... Thank you.

The impact of immigration on the American economy.

I wanted 500 words or less, although not much less. And even though this does

not count towards your grade point average, I'd like these good, I'd like

incisive, and most of all, I'd like these legible.

Would that be possible?

Come on, go home!

Hey, teacher.

Why'd you call?

And this better be good, man. I got people to drive around.

Travis, when was the last time you had a bona fide celebrity in your limo?

Dylan, my motor's running. Now, will you get down to it?

I got you the gig of gigs. Next week, you could be the official driver of the

hottest R &B act in the world. My prerogative. Miller Vanilla.

No, Bobby Brown.

Dylan, don't toy with my emotions.

Because underneath this incredibly fine exterior beats the heart of a big Bobby

Brown fan, man.

It's a done deal.

Tuesday, you pick him up at the airport. You take him to the Regency Arms Hotel.

Really?

Really? Really.

Mom, you'll never believe what happened in school today.

You learned something.

Bobby Brown is going to do a video in our history class.

Who? Mom, don't tell me you don't know Bobby Brown.

Mr. and Mrs. Brownson?

Mom, he is only the deafest R &B artist in the country.

Well, I'm not surprised. As loud as they play that music, I'd be deaf, too.

Mom, deaf like fresh.

Oh, well, at least he showers.

Can you relate to Cool?

Cool? Why didn't you say so? Yeah, he used to sing with New Edition, but now

has his own hit records like My Prerogative, Don't Be Cruel, Rock With

Well, I was half right. He's still Mr. and Mrs. Brown's son.

The best part about it is I'm gonna be in the video.

Now, baby,

Baby, you know when you sing, cars pull over and look for flashing red lights.

Mom, I'm going to be an extra.

Dylan assigned an essay, and the top five grades get to be in the video. I'm

going to work all weekend on it. Oh, well, that's great. What's the essay

Oh, it's really easy.

It's the impact of immigration on the American economy.

What a coincidence.

I did a paper on that same subject. As a matter of fact, Ms. Zarbo gave me an

A+. Oh, that's great, Mama.

I didn't know you were smart.

Did you know that you should test your food before you eat it tonight?

I don't know what I meant.

Well, anyway, my paper was so good that I saved it all these years with the rest

of my high school mementos.

Let's see, I had a class ring, a pressed wrist corsage from my senior prom, and

Freddy. Who's Freddy? Oh, a frog I dissected in biology.

He's in the cabinet resting in formaldehyde.

Oh, Mom.

Come on, Mr. Jenkins. Oh, Calvin, you are dreaming. There is no way Morgan

is going to beat Howard University.

If I were you, I wouldn't even go to the game.

Come on, Mr. Jenkins. Howard University doesn't even have a strong team this

year. They're not going to know what to do against our nickel defense.

That nickel defense is worth about two and a half cents.

I get it. I sure do.

Calvin thinks Morgan State is going to beat Howard.

Hey, the biggest game of the century.

Hey, do you want to go to the pregame rally at Morgan State tonight?

Hey, on a college campus with the college men?

Dad, is it okay if I go to the rally?

It's okay by me if you want to root for a lost cause and if you want to be in by

midnight. No problem.

All we're going to do is sacrifice a Howard University inflatable mascot.

Wow, those college men sure know how to have fun.

I'm going to go get ready.

Hey, hey, wait a minute.

What happened to the essay for the Bobby Brown video?

I have plenty. Give me a time. I'll work on it tomorrow.

Who's Bobby Brown?

Who is Bobby Brown?

You mean Lester Jenkins, man of the world, does not know who Bobby Brown is?

I mean, he's just the freshest, deafest, most fabulous singer in the entire

nation.

Hello, Mr. Brown's son.

So glad you could make it. Look, I'll get you the rent. I'm just a little

this month.

You see, I'm dating this girl who's only interested in me for my money.

This has nothing to do with the rent. Come, have something to eat.

How much is it going to cost me? Oh, no, it's free this time.

Free?

Ain't nothing free from the man who picks the lock on pay toilets.

I told you nobody had change for a $100 bill.

You know, Travis, when I look at you, I see me as a young man.

You do?

Not really.

And thank God.

Now, come on. I'm just softening you up for a little business proposition.

Oh, I get it. This is what you do to call a power lunch, huh? Exactly.

I'm serving the lunch, and you've got the power.

Bobby Brown.

Rumor has it that your limo has been chosen as his chariot. Ah, so you're on

autograph. Exactly, but on a contract. You see, I've got an idea for a line of

Bobby Brown fashions. If I can get him to endorse it, from now on, it'll be

Power Smorgasborgs.

Sounds great.

How are you going to get him to sign?

You can come up at the airport.

Bring him here and leave the rest to me.

I don't know, man. That could be a lot of trouble.

I mean, I'm supposed to take him to the hotel.

I can't snow a great artist like Bobby Brown.

For nothing?

Yes, I should have known better. Well, what's it going to cost me?

Three months, free rent.

Three months, free rent?

Deal. And five percent of the gross.

A hand has a mind of its own. It's not programmed to shake on 5 % of the gross.

Well, do you think it'll shake on 3 %?

Well, let's give it a try.

Deal.

Bye, Mom.

Bye, Dad.

I'm going with Calvin to see Morgan State mutilate Howard.

What about breakfast?

I'll grab something at the game.

Oh, they serving oatmeal at the game now?

I thought you were going to start your essay today.

I got plenty of time. I'll work on it after the game.

Go, Morgan!

Gone, Brenda.

Well, how do I look?

Ah, beautiful.

Where you going?

Calvin's taking me to the victory dance.

I thought you were going to start your essay tonight.

Yeah, that's what I heard, too. I have plenty of time. I'll work on it

Tomorrow never comes.

How could she go to a victory dance? The game was a tie.

It's not easy.

Hi, Calvin. Hey, Mr. Jenkins.

How was the game nobody won victory dance last night?

Oh, he's next year, Mr. Jenkins. Uh -huh.

Hi, Mr. Jenkins. Is Brenda ready?

Well, what's the event today, Calvin? The post -victory dance 10K run?

Of course not.

The post -victory dance picnic.

I hate to sound like a broken mother, but when are you going to do the essay

the Bobby Brown video?

Mom, it's only Sunday. I have plenty of time.

The essay's not due until tomorrow.

Tomorrow never comes. Bye, Mom.

Hey, sugar, you still up?

Yeah, Dad, what are you doing up? Well, I had this dream that somebody else

might eat last night's leftovers if I didn't get there first.

Sorry, Dad, you didn't get there first.

I needed the energy. This essay's driving me crazy.

Well, it's only 3 a .m. You still got five hours to write your paper, take a

shower, eat your breakfast, get ready for school. You got plenty of time.

I guess I deserve that.

Well, your mother was like that, too. Every time she had to write a paper,

be up all night.

Yeah, Mom.

Well, let me see what you left me in the fridge.

Mom's essay.

Ooh, Freddy, gross!

Immigration and the American Dollar by Mary Hurley, eh?

I read your papers. Some were good.

Some were bad.

Some put me into a near trance, but now I'm back.

Without any further ado, here are the five Bobby Brown winners. And please

your applause. The names of all the winners have been announced.

In fifth place, with a B +, Randy Holt.

Randy!

In fourth place, also with a B +, in very wide margins, Dan Lankford. Hello,

Dan.

In second place, with a solid A, Martha Vandross.

I love your uncle's music.

I give the class.

In second place, none other than Tony the Hickey the Carlo.

That's a solid A.

And in first place, with an A +, Nancy Grant.

Pleasant surprise.

Surprise? I called you on the limo phone. What are you guys doing here?

Right this way, Mr. Brown.

Julian Vardo, meet Billy Brown.

Hail, hail, rock and roll.

Yo, Matty, thanks for letting me stand your penthouse. This is really nice,

What? They all stayed here.

Prince? Springsteen, the Jacket, the Beach Boys.

Took us two weeks to get that sand out the carpet.

It's a fly crib.

That's a lot better than a hotel.

I can do crazy damn steps in here.

Hey, hey, hey, and it's quiet too, man. Nobody will ever bother you here. What

is he talking about staying in my penthouse?

You told me to get him here any way I could.

Mr. Brown.

As you can see from the decor, I've been a fan of yours for, oh, ten years.

Ten years? Easily.

Only been in the business for seven.

Did I mention I also have ESP?

Yeah, extreme sucker power.

I'm sure when Travis mentioned my name, you knew immediately who I was.

No.

Can't say I did. Really?

I'm very well known in the rock and roll world.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. You're the guy who played backup for Chubby

Checker?

Delightful, delightful.

A singer with a sense of humor.

But seriously now, I'm responsible for marketing the Mick Jagger Rolling Stone

Can't Get No Satisfaction Daybed.

And Mr. Barlow is the genius who created the very popular, on the outboard,

headless mink mink pack. Me, I did that.

You did that. Yes.

So naturally, you'd want to come to a man like me if you were interested in

marketing an idea. Say he'd like...

The Bobby Brown Fresh Fashions. It's incredible.

Where does this man get these ideas?

So if you'll just sign this contract right here, we'll go into production

immediately on the T -shirts, the sweat socks, the Bobby Brown wigs. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. And don't forget the Bobby Brown brown bag.

Perfect for carrying your lunch and for dating ugly girls. Wait a minute. All

this stuff sounds... Ugly girls?

All this stuff sounds great, but...

I let my brother take care of my business affairs, so if you could talk

I'd appreciate it. No problem. Have your dude call my dude, and we'll take a

meeting right here in my crib.

But now, to make your stay more pleasant, why don't you slip into

the Bobby Brown all -day, all -night bathrobe?

All day, all night, Bobby Brown.

Yeah! I believe it. I'm not...

Dylan gave me a C - on my essay, and it was an A -plus paper.

How do you know?

Trust me, I know.

Well, it's your own fault, you know. You did it at the last minute.

Still, it was a good paper.

Well, why don't you let me take a look at it?

My essay?

You want to see my essay?

Yes, I do know something about the subject, you know.

I did the essay myself.

Got an A -plus.

Not as good as you did me.

Huh? Nothing?

Hi, Mary. Have you seen Brenda Jenkins?

Yeah, she's the depressed one standing in the middle of the room.

Dylan, if you don't mind, I'm not in the mood to talk. I'm only in the mood to

eat.

Don't mind her. She's going through the terrible 17.

I just wanted to return her essay. I found it in the waste paper basket.

In the waste paper basket?

Maybe it dropped out of her book.

I'm going to read this and see if she deserved that grade you gave her.

Hey, everybody.

Have you heard the news?

What news?

Bobby Brown himself is here. And he's staying in Julian's penthouse.

Bobby Brown?

Uh -huh. How did you know it was him? Well, when I saw him, I said, who in the

devil are you?

What is he doing here?

Travis was supposed to take him to the hotel.

Well, then somebody better give Travis a map, because if this is a hotel, I'm

the maid, and I definitely haven't been paid.

I better see what's going on.

Bobby Brown, wait for me.

Here. I didn't act like that when I saw Billy Eckstein.

Wait a minute. Yes, I did.

Immigration on the American Economy by Brenda Jenkins.

I don't believe it.

I mean, I don't believe it. I really, really, really don't believe it.

This is, I thought, gone.

Well, move over, Freddy, and make room for Brenda Jenkins.

Where's Bobby Brown?

Yeah, where is he? I never heard of the man.

Miss Shea said she saw him come up here. Remind me to plant a very tall bush in

front of that woman's window.

Travis, I demand an explanation.

Yo, Dylan!

Why did you come in?

You were supposed to take Bobby Brown to the Regency Arms Hotel.

I did.

Yo, can y 'all please keep the noise down in here?

Bobby Brown!

Bobby Brown!

What'd you get here?

Dylan, there's a perfectly good... explanation for all of this, but I

thought of it yet, so goodbye.

Wait a minute!

I'm responsible for this man's welfare.

Bobby Brown!

My prerogative!

Jerry Lewis did my prerogative all?

Hi, I'm Dylan McMillan, the faculty advisor at Waverly High.

Pleasure, Bobby.

How you doing?

Maybe you could tell me, what's going on here?

All I know is some guy wants me to endorse these pre -shrunken robes and

wigs.

Bobby, I love your music. I have all your records. I wanted to be one of the

five students in your video, but my essay wasn't good enough. Five?

I wanted the whole class.

Did I hear video?

Bobby, a golden opportunity. Man, you've got to do that video in this bathrobe.

It's a natural.

It is incredible.

How did this man come up with these inspired ideas?

I wonder.

Oy. Well, if it isn't the lovely Mary Jenkins.

And if it isn't the lowly Julian Barlow.

Brenda, I want to talk to you. Mom, Bobby Brown is... here.

What is going on? This place is getting more crowded than my concert.

Okay, I want to talk to my daughter so everybody out.

Well, excuse me, Mary, but if you'll check the monograms on my towels, you'll

find that you're in my apartment.

If I check the monograms on your towels, I find we're in the Motel 6.

Bobby, this is my mom. Mom, he said I could be in his video.

Hi, Bobby. I don't see how that's possible since you're going to spend the

five years at hard labor.

What do you mean?

This. Italians, Irish, Germans, and Jews.

The huddled masses of Europe. Uh -oh.

Hey, I recognize that C -minus paper.

And I'll talk to you about the C -minus later.

Will you please take me back to the hotel where I can get some rest?

Absolutely. I think it's a shame that an artist of your stature has to put up

with these bad squabbles. Bobby, Bobby, what about Bobby Brown Motor Hotels,

huh? I mean, wasn't some celebrity a little high the way out there?

Well, Brenda, what do you have to say for yourself?

I have no excuse. I was wrong, and I'm sorry.

Wait, time out.

Explanation time.

The explanation is this essay is not Brenda's.

It's mine. And where do you get off giving a C -?

This is an A -plus paper.

Mary, this essay is not thorough. It makes no mention of all the people who

over in the past 20 years.

Perhaps that's because it was written 25 years ago.

Too bad I didn't read it then.

Well, that left you off the hook, but not you.

I guess I deserve whatever's coming to me. And just what do you think would be

appropriate?

I shouldn't be in the video?

Oh, you're not getting off that easy.

You can be in the video, but you'll also be grounded for a month, and you'll

have to give me three 500 -word essays on the consequences of putting off for

tomorrow what you can do today, substituting somebody else's work for

the virtue of honesty.

So have a nice video.

Excuse me, I forgot my clothes.

and rolling luggage for the Bobby Brown geriatrics.

I told you. I told

you.

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