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1
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There's no place like home.
2
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If your family around you, you're never
alone.
3
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When you know that you're loved, you
don't need to roam. Cause there's no
4
00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:15,970
like home.
5
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:20,550
Most times are changing every day.
6
00:00:20,870 --> 00:00:27,769
We won't get by with those same old
ways. No, no. Pulled together, we'll
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00:00:27,770 --> 00:00:34,109
round. With a number of my friends I
know we can try Cause there's no place
8
00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:40,889
home With your family around you You're
never alone When you know that you love
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00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:43,910
You don't need to roam Cause there ain't
10
00:00:57,420 --> 00:00:58,470
No playtime.
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10, 10, 10, 11, 11.
12
00:01:05,961 --> 00:01:08,619
Morning, babe. My watch stopped. What
time is it?
13
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8, 9, 9.
14
00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,960
See, honey, you're making me mess up.
11, 11.
15
00:01:15,340 --> 00:01:19,019
Oh, I'm sorry. You were up early this
morning, huh? Yeah. I had to make a
16
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order for Brenda's school cafeteria.
17
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Hope I didn't wake you.
18
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No, the pillar did when I turned over to
give you a kiss and got a mouthful of
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duck feathers.
20
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I'm sorry.
21
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,780
Better? A little bit.
22
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:32,860
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
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Mom, are my cookies ready?
24
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Right. Got them right here. Four dozen,
I think.
25
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This ought to make about $22 in profit.
26
00:01:41,180 --> 00:01:44,370
Yep, and it's going straight into Mary
Jenkins' rainy day fund.
27
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And every time it rains, your mama's
going to run out and buy herself a new
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outfit.
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00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,120
With any luck, we'll have a monsoon.
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Mary, I need your opinion on what I'm
wearing.
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The collar's off.
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for you.
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00:02:04,380 --> 00:02:05,430
I was right.
34
00:02:05,431 --> 00:02:07,859
Spencer, what do you think?
35
00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:09,259
I think I'm late. Bye.
36
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:15,220
Man, I'm about to become a household
maid. Please, not in front of Brenda.
37
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I got an appointment for the biggest
commercial agent in Washington.
38
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:21,900
Wow, that's great. Congratulations.
39
00:02:21,901 --> 00:02:22,989
Thank you.
40
00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:25,789
Once he gets a glimpse of my special
talent, it'll just be a matter of time
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00:02:25,790 --> 00:02:27,650
before I'm a huge commercial success.
42
00:02:28,010 --> 00:02:29,060
Wow.
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I can see it now.
44
00:02:30,790 --> 00:02:32,650
The next Mars the Cat.
45
00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:36,820
Wow.
46
00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:39,210
Man, you think I could be that big?
47
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You laugh all you want. I'll be selling
you something on TV. You watch.
48
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Well, I hope it's aspirin because you
sure are giving me a headache.
49
00:02:48,970 --> 00:02:50,890
Brenda, how about helping me clean up?
50
00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:51,980
Did you hear that?
51
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What? The school bell is ringing.
52
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I gotta go.
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The school is eight blocks away.
54
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Thanks for the directions.
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I'm looking for Miss Mary Jenkins.
56
00:03:11,171 --> 00:03:13,169
Oh, that's me. What can I do for you?
57
00:03:13,170 --> 00:03:14,850
Well, here's a little gift for you.
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My name is Ed Fulton. I own a little
bakery shop over on 4th Street called
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Casa de Pastry.
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00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:24,619
Oh, that's right next door to Jake's
Casa de Linoleum. That's right, that's
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00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,020
right. Miss Jenkins.
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00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:27,870
Excuse me.
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00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:31,290
Miss Jenkins, I want to talk turkey with
you about your cookies.
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Oh, have a seat.
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00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:35,060
So, you want to buy some?
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00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:36,720
No, no, I bake my own cookies.
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00:03:36,721 --> 00:03:40,139
It's just that since you started selling
yours, my sales have not only
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plummeted, they've fallen off.
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00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:43,700
Oh, that's too bad.
70
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Of course, I do make a good cookie.
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Yeah, that's just the problem.
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This town's not big enough for two
cookies.
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00:03:52,950 --> 00:03:55,090
Oh, I get it.
74
00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:58,540
You're here to try to stop me from
baking my cookies.
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00:03:58,690 --> 00:04:03,449
And if I don't, which I won't, then
you're going to sue, huh? Well, you just
76
00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:04,169
right ahead.
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00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:05,910
That doesn't scare me. Miss Jenkins.
78
00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:08,050
Because this is America.
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00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,830
Mary Jenkins is the name.
80
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,600
Free enterprise is the game, and the
answer is no.
81
00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:16,680
But, boy, when did I ask the question?
82
00:04:16,681 --> 00:04:20,719
You mean you're not here to stop me from
baking my cookies? Not at all. I merely
83
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:24,479
stopped by to suggest that we
conglomerate our resources to improve
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00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:25,530
capitalization.
85
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,050
Speak English.
86
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,150
Let's make a deal.
87
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,240
You mean be partners?
88
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,040
That's right. That's right. 50 -50.
89
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,430
I bake the cookies at my bakery, and you
provide the recipe.
90
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,980
Uh -uh, uh -uh. That's a family secret.
91
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,240
There are no secrets in the bakery biz.
92
00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:47,189
Mm -hmm. Nutmeg, vanilla extract, no
nuts there, flour, sugar
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00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:53,330
water, and a faint bouquet of
something... Yeah, it is a secret.
94
00:04:55,070 --> 00:04:57,570
So, I guess we can't do the bakery biz.
95
00:04:57,571 --> 00:05:00,449
I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what.
Same deal as before, but you bake the
96
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:03,429
cookies here at home, I sell them down
at the bakery, and I throw in a free
97
00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:04,480
of pumpernickel.
98
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:07,390
I don't know. I'll tell you what.
99
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:11,239
Just to show up to see you, I'm going to
call my establishment right now and get
100
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,639
rid of the individual who's been making
my inferior cookies that I've been
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00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,619
selling to the world.
102
00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:16,670
Hello, Mom.
103
00:05:18,340 --> 00:05:19,480
Don't come in tomorrow.
104
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,640
No, it's not a holiday.
105
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:22,150
You're fired.
106
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:23,660
Well, that's done.
107
00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:25,430
Your own mother?
108
00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:28,400
Well, it's no big deal. I wasn't paying
her anyway.
109
00:05:29,450 --> 00:05:30,950
Well, what do you say, Ms. Mary?
110
00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:33,470
I have to think about it, Mr. Ed.
111
00:05:33,810 --> 00:05:35,110
Oh, I understand.
112
00:05:35,570 --> 00:05:39,420
You're a married woman, so I guess you
have to get your husband's permission.
113
00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:44,270
I sure hope you know more about the
bakery business than you do modern
114
00:05:44,830 --> 00:05:47,370
This woman makes her own decisions.
115
00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:52,970
I don't have to ask anybody anything,
because I have come a long way, baby.
116
00:05:57,599 --> 00:06:02,580
My, my, my. You sure put me in my place.
Then I suppose, uh, we got a deal.
117
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,000
That's right, partner.
118
00:06:04,001 --> 00:06:05,019
Oh, yes.
119
00:06:05,020 --> 00:06:08,619
Well, look, you bring the cookies to the
bakery tomorrow, and when you do, wear
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00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:10,300
white, because it blinds the mice.
121
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:18,710
Hello, honey?
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00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,439
Can I get in the bakery business?
123
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,240
Please, baby, please, baby, please.
124
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,720
to be a sweatshop. The oven is set at
375 degrees.
125
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,379
But nobody should have to work under
these conditions. I mean, I mean, I want
126
00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:11,319
raise. I'm sorry, but you have to see
the boss. Why, you the boss?
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00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:12,319
No raise.
128
00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:13,370
Okay.
129
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:14,920
I want a vacation.
130
00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:16,640
You get one in July.
131
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:20,140
You know, you have to know how to act.
Shut up, girl.
132
00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:25,160
Good. Quitting time.
133
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,160
Girl, that's the oven. Another batch is
ready.
134
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,440
Made the defect on the line.
135
00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:35,590
Let me see.
136
00:07:37,980 --> 00:07:39,660
Looks like little pieces of paper.
137
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:43,700
Inspected by employee 003.
138
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,580
Hey, look for the union label.
139
00:07:47,581 --> 00:07:53,119
Guys, come on. We got to hurry up. Ed
will be here in a few minutes and he's
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00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:54,399
expecting another thousand.
141
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,450
Oh, wow.
142
00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:23,000
is my breakfast done.
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00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:27,190
Here,
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00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,380
honey. Have some cookies on the house.
145
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,900
They are the house. How much time is
this going to go on?
146
00:08:33,140 --> 00:08:35,190
Oh, honey, you know how it is in
business.
147
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,480
It takes T and E.
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00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,780
Time and effort. And cheap labor.
149
00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:42,880
And business also produces money of
which we have not seen any.
150
00:08:43,299 --> 00:08:47,029
Well, honey, it's hard to sell cookies
with his mama picking in the bakery.
151
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,680
Oh, all right. I'll get a slice of pizza
on my way to work. A slice of pizza?
152
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,370
Oh, honey, you got to take better care
of yourself than that.
153
00:08:54,540 --> 00:08:56,100
Fine. I'll get a donut, too.
154
00:08:56,940 --> 00:08:57,990
Mary,
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00:08:57,991 --> 00:09:02,479
you keep going like this and you're
going to lose, Lester.
156
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,919
Oh, Lester is not going to leave me over
this. No, he's going to die of
157
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:06,970
starvation.
158
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:09,630
Hi, Mary.
159
00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:13,590
Lester, let me in.
160
00:09:13,780 --> 00:09:15,440
He must really be mad at me.
161
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,290
see me running in.
162
00:09:21,711 --> 00:09:26,519
Sandra, I'm sorry, but we don't have
time to talk.
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00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,140
Man, I'm on my way to stardom. I just
got a job doing a commercial.
164
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,760
I'm the new tuna lady.
165
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,470
I thought that was a new perfume you
were wearing.
166
00:09:38,471 --> 00:09:41,719
Does that mean we're going to see you on
TV now?
167
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,610
Well, you may not recognize me. They're
just using my hair.
168
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,570
What are you going to do to the tuna?
Massage it?
169
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,150
No. supposed to open this can. Here,
I'll show you.
170
00:09:50,151 --> 00:09:53,809
Sandra, we have seen tuna cans open
before. Now, come on, we got a quota,
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00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:54,890
this is our last batch.
172
00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:57,120
Come on now, Mary, it'll just take a
moment.
173
00:09:57,550 --> 00:10:03,490
As the can turns, my graceful hands just
in lovingly at the product, like this,
174
00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:07,030
see? I can remove the can from the
opener, like this, see?
175
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:09,730
And then I empty it into a bowl.
176
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,130
got a treat for you.
177
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,420
Uh -oh, that means Brenda cooked again.
178
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,040
What is it this time?
179
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,520
We made it in home economics class.
180
00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:34,180
Quiche el Greco.
181
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,380
Very interesting. What is in it?
182
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,700
I don't know. Some lumpy brown stuff
that comes in a boil bag.
183
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,200
Did you throw the bag away?
184
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,320
Very funny, Daddy.
185
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:48,650
I'll get it.
186
00:10:50,371 --> 00:10:52,789
Good evening, everybody.
187
00:10:52,790 --> 00:10:55,129
Oh, hi, Ed. Hope we're not interrupting
dinner.
188
00:10:55,130 --> 00:10:56,890
Ah, dinner. I remember that.
189
00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:59,590
Hey, that looks like quiche al greco.
190
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,000
That's my favorite.
191
00:11:01,001 --> 00:11:04,689
If you have any of that lumpy brown
stuff left, don't throw it away. Plants
192
00:11:04,690 --> 00:11:05,740
it.
193
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:09,650
Ed, I got 12 dozen for you. Hey, have I
got something for you.
194
00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:11,810
Feast your eyes on this.
195
00:11:12,470 --> 00:11:13,530
Our first pity.
196
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:16,290
400 macaroons apiece.
197
00:11:16,690 --> 00:11:18,090
Wow, I don't believe it.
198
00:11:18,091 --> 00:11:21,439
Yeah, I gotta hand it to you, baby. I
didn't think you would do so well.
199
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:26,219
Well, you know what they say. Behind
every successful woman, there's a man
200
00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:27,270
surprised.
201
00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:30,320
Isn't this wonderful?
202
00:11:30,321 --> 00:11:32,699
Oh, yeah, it's great. But don't forget,
you got expenses.
203
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:33,800
Oh, yeah, yeah.
204
00:11:34,020 --> 00:11:35,070
Let's see.
205
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:36,520
Rose, Pearl.
206
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,140
Your delivery girl.
207
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:39,920
Yeah, you did a great job.
208
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,800
Well, still got all this left. And
there's your overhead.
209
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,780
Electricity, ingredients, gas.
210
00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:48,210
There.
211
00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:50,640
That only leaves me $50.
212
00:11:51,350 --> 00:11:53,150
Welcome to the world of big business.
213
00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:57,870
I made more than this when I was by
myself.
214
00:11:58,610 --> 00:12:00,050
Well, why are you so unhappy?
215
00:12:00,270 --> 00:12:01,320
This is a great start.
216
00:12:01,950 --> 00:12:03,000
No, it's not.
217
00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:06,689
For two weeks, I've been putting in all
this time and effort, neglecting my
218
00:12:06,690 --> 00:12:08,800
family, and all I got to show for it is
$50?
219
00:12:09,110 --> 00:12:11,170
You make it sound like so little.
220
00:12:12,370 --> 00:12:13,420
It is.
221
00:12:14,890 --> 00:12:18,320
I'm sorry, Ed, but I'm afraid this
partnership is not working for me.
222
00:12:18,430 --> 00:12:20,630
Don't be so selfish. It's working for
me.
223
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,680
Well, I'm sorry, but it's been nice, but
no dice.
224
00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:27,820
What am I supposed to do?
225
00:12:28,060 --> 00:12:29,320
Put your mama back to work.
226
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:30,570
That's cold, Mary.
227
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:31,750
That's cold.
228
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:36,430
Hi, Mary.
229
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:37,510
Oh, hi, Ed. Come on in.
230
00:12:37,511 --> 00:12:41,519
This is my former business partner, Ed
Fulton. These are my friends, Rose
231
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,100
Holloway and Pearl Shea. Hello.
232
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:44,770
Charmed, I'm sure.
233
00:12:44,771 --> 00:12:47,139
Mary, you're not going to believe your
ears.
234
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:49,760
What? It's your lucky day. I must like
you, Mary.
235
00:12:50,110 --> 00:12:54,049
I really must like you because your ship
has just come in. I was riding around
236
00:12:54,050 --> 00:12:57,529
in my car and something snatched the
wheel and drove me by the front of your
237
00:12:57,530 --> 00:13:01,370
door and said, go in and offer Mary $3
,000 for her recipe.
238
00:13:02,690 --> 00:13:03,740
We'll take it.
239
00:13:04,270 --> 00:13:05,320
We?
240
00:13:05,321 --> 00:13:09,829
That's very generous of you, Ed, but
it's a family recipe and I want to keep
241
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:10,389
that way.
242
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,030
Look, Mary, $4 ,000 and that's my final
offer.
243
00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:14,730
Mary, it's only a cookie.
244
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:16,950
I can't do it, Rose.
245
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:19,090
$5 ,000 or I'm out that door.
246
00:13:19,370 --> 00:13:21,170
Sorry. I'm back again. $6 ,000.
247
00:13:22,470 --> 00:13:23,850
Are you out of your mind?
248
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:27,930
$7 ,000. Would you be interested in a
sponge cake?
249
00:13:29,690 --> 00:13:31,510
Mary, I must like you.
250
00:13:32,050 --> 00:13:37,030
Don't tell my mother, but I'm prepared
to write you out a check for $10 ,000.
251
00:13:37,770 --> 00:13:42,550
Look, Ed, my grandmother gave this
recipe to my mother. My mother gave it
252
00:13:42,551 --> 00:13:45,789
and one day I'm going to give it to my
daughter, who will probably use it for a
253
00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:47,990
bookmark, but in this family, it stays.
254
00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:51,890
Okay, Mary, you blew the big one. You'll
regret this.
255
00:13:52,170 --> 00:13:53,250
You'll be sorry, Mary.
256
00:13:54,770 --> 00:13:56,330
It's your chance to go shopping.
257
00:13:57,810 --> 00:13:59,470
Mary, $10 ,000!
258
00:14:00,350 --> 00:14:01,400
No, Rose!
259
00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:05,929
Mary, I'm back again. Look, I got a cab
downstairs. I don't have time to beat
260
00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:06,749
around the bush.
261
00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:08,970
Here's a check for $15 ,000 for your
recipe.
262
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:10,500
$15 ,000?
263
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:12,850
Uh, child, ignore the bloodstains.
264
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:16,909
My grandmother got ketchup and chocolate
before there was chips. Uh -huh.
265
00:14:16,910 --> 00:14:20,820
Okay, just signed this agreement, giving
me exclusive rights to your recipe.
266
00:14:23,450 --> 00:14:25,050
Mary, you are certainly shrewd.
267
00:14:25,051 --> 00:14:27,829
You knew you had me outsmarted all the
time, didn't you?
268
00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:29,750
You've got to be a high school graduate.
269
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:33,700
Okay, thank you very much, ladies. Have
a nice day.
270
00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:37,080
Bet you're going to have a great time
shopping. Get some new cards.
271
00:14:50,741 --> 00:14:52,489
You see, miss?
272
00:14:52,490 --> 00:14:54,230
Oh, now, now, honey, listen to this.
273
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,430
Mary just sold her cookie recipe for $15
,000.
274
00:14:57,431 --> 00:14:58,569
To Mr.
275
00:14:58,570 --> 00:15:01,210
Ed Fulton, I am a genius, am I not?
276
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,560
Not exactly.
277
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,670
Let me read from the financial section.
278
00:15:06,910 --> 00:15:11,049
The Crispy Crunchy Cookie Company is
negotiating to buy a chocolate chip
279
00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:15,390
from a local baker, Ed Fulton, for $100
,000.
280
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:25,100
Is there an echo in here? Why didn't you
call me?
281
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:29,240
At least I wasn't stupid enough to sell
him my sponge cake.
282
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:38,780
I just heard the sad news.
283
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:43,340
Yeah, that old Ed Fulton sold my recipe
for $100 ,000.
284
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,480
And all you got was 15?
285
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:49,280
Gee, you must feel awfully dumb.
286
00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:53,480
And you signed the way to buy, I said,
everything.
287
00:15:53,810 --> 00:15:55,470
Oh, what a bonehead move.
288
00:15:55,471 --> 00:15:59,589
I guess you're not as smart as I thought
you were, or as smart as you thought
289
00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:02,300
you were, or as smart as anybody thought
that you were.
290
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:04,300
Down, Hatchet.
291
00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:07,180
Oh, no, no, no, come on. Consider it a
lesson in humility.
292
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:08,750
I mean, look on the bright side.
293
00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:10,290
What bright side?
294
00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:12,290
Things are going great for me.
295
00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:15,100
Up, Hatchet, up.
296
00:16:15,101 --> 00:16:18,999
I'm married. Now, these things, they
happen in cycles, you know? Sometimes
297
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,830
can't get them out, and then other
times, you'll do them.
298
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,920
What I'd like to do is wipe my feet on
that Ed Fulton.
299
00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:29,490
He's so low, he'd steal the cookies
right out of an orphan's mouth.
300
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,370
I got an idea.
301
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:33,810
You gonna adopt him?
302
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:39,100
No. I'm gonna get my recipe back and
make that worm squirm.
303
00:16:39,101 --> 00:16:45,279
You'll never know how much pain you can
inflict on others when you put your mind
304
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:46,330
to it.
305
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:48,970
Yeah.
306
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:53,539
I'm going to need your help right now.
Oh, no, come on, Mary, I can't. I'm
307
00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:56,439
having lunch with this gorgeous stuntman
I met on my commercial.
308
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,210
There's no way I'm going to risk missing
a date with him.
309
00:16:59,780 --> 00:17:01,680
There's $1 ,000 in it for you.
310
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,130
When do we start?
311
00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:06,960
Well, let's get down to business.
312
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:10,440
$100 ,000. How shall I make out the
check?
313
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:11,770
Fast.
314
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,540
Ed, Ed, I got to talk to you.
315
00:17:14,541 --> 00:17:17,919
Excuse me, I've been running an ad for a
woman to jump out of a cake.
316
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:21,760
Oh, look, there's a bikini in the other
room. I'll talk to you later.
317
00:17:22,180 --> 00:17:23,440
Look, Ed, this can't wait.
318
00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:27,210
Excuse me, madam, but if you don't mind,
I'm trying to buy a recipe here.
319
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:31,160
Oh, I bet you're from Crispy Crunchy.
Yes.
320
00:17:31,161 --> 00:17:34,039
I'm Mary Jenkins. I'm the one that's
selling the recipe.
321
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,460
Oh, I'm George McAllister. What's the
problem?
322
00:17:36,461 --> 00:17:39,499
Well, you see, I found out that the
recipe doesn't belong to me.
323
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:40,800
So it wasn't mine to sell.
324
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,320
And if it wasn't mine to sell, then it
wasn't his to sell.
325
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:48,450
Don't pay any attention to her, George.
She's been sniffing too much nutmeg.
326
00:17:48,451 --> 00:17:53,419
Okay, okay, you don't want to believe
me? Then I'll just let the rightful
327
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:54,459
tell you herself.
328
00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:55,510
Oh, sister!
329
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,320
Sister Sandra Ignatius, this is Mr.
330
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,460
George McAllister of Crispy Crunchy and
Mr. Ed Fulton.
331
00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:10,830
The sinners who are trying to rip you
off.
332
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,000
I forgive you, my son.
333
00:18:13,420 --> 00:18:14,470
No, you don't.
334
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,530
You can't order around a nun even if
your name is Mary.
335
00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:23,260
What are you trying to tell us? That
this nun made up the recipe?
336
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:27,100
Right. You've heard of the flying nun
and the singing nun.
337
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:28,920
This is the baking nun.
338
00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:31,740
You should taste my hot cross buns.
339
00:18:31,741 --> 00:18:37,599
Don't pay any attention to her, George.
She just meant it because I'm Miss
340
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:42,320
Bingo. That cookie recipe's been in our
order since the year MCXXIII.
341
00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:46,220
We're talking old Mr. McAllister.
342
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,540
This is a holy cookie. I mean holy.
343
00:18:48,541 --> 00:18:52,619
You see, the nuns used to profit from
the sale of these cookies to support
344
00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:55,030
orphanage. Don't forget about our leper
colony.
345
00:18:56,380 --> 00:18:57,480
Ed. Ed.
346
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:03,339
Why don't you help yourself and Mr.
Crispy Crunchy here get into salvation
347
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:04,780
giving me back my agreement?
348
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:09,480
Either that or the Lord has instructed
Sister Sandra to sue your butt.
349
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:16,480
Hi, my name is Marty Wilcox. Some lady
in a window so that I could find... Oh,
350
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:17,780
there you are, beautiful.
351
00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:20,940
What are you doing in that outfit?
352
00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:23,160
Well, they're letting women in now.
353
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,050
That's my date.
354
00:19:27,590 --> 00:19:31,330
This is Sister Sandra Ignatius. She's
supposed to wear this outfit.
355
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,840
Well, that's not what she had on last
night.
356
00:19:34,530 --> 00:19:37,090
Well, you must be mistaken, my son.
357
00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:40,750
What's going on here?
358
00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:42,590
Yeah, what is going on?
359
00:19:42,810 --> 00:19:45,460
I'll tell you what's going on. Mary,
what's going on?
360
00:19:45,630 --> 00:19:46,680
What's going on?
361
00:19:47,170 --> 00:19:48,220
Okay.
362
00:19:48,750 --> 00:19:52,630
I confess, Monty and I have been seeing
each other.
363
00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:56,310
What? You've been seeing Mary? What's
the...
364
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,550
Sister!
365
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:04,000
Oh, Mary Jacobs, I'm shocked. My child.
366
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:07,850
Me too.
367
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,740
But, Mary, you're married.
368
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,320
Yes, I know. And the guilt has been a
terrible burden.
369
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:18,960
Wait a minute. I'm the one with the
burden. I thought I had a date with you.
370
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:21,240
Now, that's a sacrilege.
371
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,360
Monty, Monty, Monty.
372
00:20:25,020 --> 00:20:29,379
I know what you're trying to do. He's
trying to protect my good name. But
373
00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:33,300
you see, Monty, by protecting my good
name, you'll be smirching Sister
374
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:38,960
You, sir, are filth, Monty, and you
people are weird.
375
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:40,810
I'm out of here.
376
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:48,939
Well, now that we've concluded that
sordid little interlude, let's get back
377
00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:52,940
business. Now, George, are we going to
make a deal or not?
378
00:20:53,140 --> 00:20:54,190
Think carefully.
379
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:58,959
What would happen to the sales of Crispy
Crunchy when they find out that you've
380
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,400
been stealing from nuns and orphans and
lepers?
381
00:21:03,940 --> 00:21:08,040
I'm sorry, Ed. She's right. We can't
fool around with religion.
382
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:12,380
The makers of Crispy Crunchy have an
image to protect.
383
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,470
George, you can't let a cookie like this
get away.
384
00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:17,200
I don't intend to.
385
00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:22,380
Sister, how would your convent like $100
,000?
386
00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:28,170
You can make it out to S -A -N -D. My
sister Sandra.
387
00:21:29,150 --> 00:21:30,200
I'm shocked.
388
00:21:30,350 --> 00:21:32,090
What happened to your poverty vow?
389
00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:34,250
That was for $85 ,000 and under.
390
00:21:35,350 --> 00:21:39,890
It ought to be difficult to say your
rosary with broken knuckles.
391
00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:42,190
I'm sorry, but we can't sell.
392
00:21:42,410 --> 00:21:44,390
But for $100, I'll hear your confession.
393
00:21:47,830 --> 00:21:51,090
The church has really changed.
394
00:21:51,980 --> 00:21:53,580
Since I was an altar boy.
395
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,920
Ed, your $15 ,000.
396
00:22:01,380 --> 00:22:03,160
And here's your agreement.
397
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:04,490
Thank you.
398
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,080
Shame on you, my son.
399
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:09,720
I'm sorry, sister.
400
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,500
I don't know what came over me.
401
00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:13,960
I guess the devil made me do it.
402
00:22:21,230 --> 00:22:24,590
I got the recipe back, and we are cookie
rich.
403
00:22:25,630 --> 00:22:26,680
That's nice, babe.
404
00:22:27,150 --> 00:22:30,030
Nice? What do you mean nice? That's
fantastic.
405
00:22:30,830 --> 00:22:35,330
Now we can call all the cookie companies
and maybe get $100 ,000 or more.
406
00:22:35,850 --> 00:22:38,130
Hey, let the bidding begin.
407
00:22:38,810 --> 00:22:42,430
Hey, Mom, don't count your cookies
before they patch.
408
00:22:43,550 --> 00:22:45,110
What's the matter with you two?
409
00:22:45,610 --> 00:22:48,050
Uh, babe, your mother calling. It seems
to...
410
00:22:48,051 --> 00:22:51,169
Recipe really belonged to your
grandmother's neighbor, Mrs.
411
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:52,109
Della Amos.
412
00:22:52,110 --> 00:22:54,580
So? We'll just cut her in for a little
percentage.
413
00:22:55,010 --> 00:22:56,230
Della Amos is dead.
414
00:22:56,630 --> 00:23:00,230
But she had a nephew. You may know him
by his first name, Famous.
415
00:23:00,590 --> 00:23:01,640
Famous Amos?
416
00:23:02,270 --> 00:23:03,590
And we don't get anything?
417
00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:07,580
Well, we got each other, and that's
worth more than $100 ,000 anyway, right?
418
00:23:08,270 --> 00:23:09,320
I said right.
419
00:23:12,650 --> 00:23:13,700
Right?
420
00:23:13,990 --> 00:23:15,470
Right. Right.
421
00:23:16,690 --> 00:23:17,740
Well...
422
00:23:17,850 --> 00:23:19,470
It was nice being rich for a while.
423
00:23:21,670 --> 00:23:25,790
$1 ,000?
424
00:23:25,791 --> 00:23:27,619
Don't open that door.
425
00:23:27,620 --> 00:23:32,170
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