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They had no place like home.
With your family around you, you're never alone.
When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. Cause there's no place
home.
Times are changing every day.
We won't get by with those same old ways.
Pulling together, we'll make it right.
No place like home.
With your family around you, you're never alone.
When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.
Cause there ain't no place like. There ain't no place like. There
ain't no place like. There's no place like home.
I mean no place child.
Yeah. Oh, my goodness.
Well, the cab's here.
You know, I am so tired, I'm going to sleep all the way to the airport.
Oh, it's okay. It's my fault.
No, no, just leave them where they are.
It's my apology. No, it's all right. Thank you. Thank you very much. No,
you.
Excuse me. Did a short guy with a black jacket run by here?
Yeah, just a minute ago. He went that way. Good, maybe I can catch him. Oh,
better check your wallet.
That pickpocket could pick the inside of a banana without peeling it.
And he looked like such a nice young man.
Hey, that guy got our tickets.
What? Yeah. Look, you stay here with the cab. I'll see if I can catch up with
you. Honey?
You will be able to wait, won't you? No problem. The meter's running. I'll just
put these in the trunk.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, excuse me. That's my cab.
Oh, I...
You look just like Billy Dee Williams. Everybody, including my mother, Mrs. Dee
Williams. Would you like my autograph?
It is you!
Don't you remember me? I'm Mary Jenkins.
Oh, of course.
We met... Last year.
Last year, right.
It was at the... At a party.
Party.
It was down at the... Museum.
Last year at a party at the museum, right.
You do remember.
Would you like to share this cab with my husband? No, no, no, no, thank you.
There's another one.
Well, it's nice seeing you again.
Mary. Mary, right.
Isn't that something?
A big star like that, and he remembered me.
It's rare.
I'm sure he'll be back any minute.
Just sit back and listen to the music.
You know, I saw the movie this song is from a couple weeks ago, Casablanca.
Great flick.
Yeah, Casablanca.
Ingrid Bergman, Humphrey Bogart.
Yeah, Casablanca.
Good evening, Rich.
Ladies.
You late for work, Fifi?
It's not easy holding down two jobs. You know, I'm a spy during the day.
Who are you working for this week?
The Royal Canadian Mounties.
They're not even in the war.
I know, but I love the motto.
We always get our man.
Well, unless you want to be a spy full -time, you better get ready for your new
number. What's it going to be?
I think a medley of Doris Day numbers.
Rose, I want to go home.
We've been to 33 countries.
And we'll go to 33 more, Mother, until I find just the right man.
For either too fat... Or too short, or too tall, or too skinny?
Oh, Mother, mostly they're too boring.
Boring I can live with. I lived with your father, didn't I?
Oh, really?
Ah, Rick, my boy.
What are you laughing at?
I just saw a very funny movie.
Come on, she's talking.
What do you want, Fiat?
Dick Gregory's Bahamian diet?
Not in a very good mood, are we, Rick?
World War II getting to you.
I don't take sides.
Don't fool yourself, Rick. The Germans are closing in.
You're like everybody else.
You're dying to get out of Casablanca. I'm not dying to go anywhere.
Maybe. That's because, you know, sooner or later, everyone comes to Casablanca.
And you're hoping Lisa shows up.
Lisa? Are you crazy? I don't even remember her.
Slinky body, sexy voice, long legs, and that full bosom.
I can't stand it anymore. I got to hear that song. Stan, play it again.
That boss.
We know how that song fits.
I don't care.
I want to hear the song.
Okay.
It's your heart.
Just an old -fashioned love song.
This is my song, not your song.
You know, I think I like his song better.
You know, Fiat, you should, like, hit the road, Jack.
He's still got it bad for her. Oh, yeah.
She left him three years ago. He hasn't seen her since.
But sometimes in the middle of the night, I can hear him call out her name.
You live with him?
No, about four blocks away.
Get your slimy hands off me.
Maybe this will interest you.
Two tickets for a plane to London. What everyone is looking for. A way out of
Casablanca. Those wouldn't happen to be the two missing tickets from those two
dead German soldiers, would they?
They weren't dead when I met them, Rick.
I just need you to hold them for a little while.
I've been ducking the police all day.
Will you take them?
I've dealt with scum, but no one as low as you.
There's $10 ,000 in it.
You just got taller.
I'll be back for the tickets.
Were you talking about two tickets for the plane to London that Mugabe stole
from two dead German soldiers and you're holding for $10 ,000?
How did you know about that?
Lucky guess.
Excuse me. Are you sure this is Rick's place?
Yeah. Funny. I thought it was Frank's place.
Can you believe that?
Frank's place?
Well, it's not his fault. They keep moving it.
Captain Perrier, why the whistle? Have the bullets in the Lakers just tipped
off?
I am sorry to go such a spectacle, but Major Krieger and I are here to make an
arrest. We are looking for Mugabe. He is in possession of two stolen tickets out
of Casablanca. Those tickets are important for a frequent flyer program.
Well, I run a respectable place here, and I mind my own business.
Well, it is too bad. There is a reward of a hundred francs for him.
Make it 200.
Take him away.
Will you write me?
It's her.
It's her.
It's Lisa.
I thought she was taller.
Lisa. Rick, I can't believe it.
It's been a long time.
Yes, it has.
Meet my husband.
You're married?
Yes, to Billy D.
Hasbro.
The freedom fighter.
Would you like my autograph?
I'd rather have your wife.
I see you still have that same sense of humor, Rick.
How's bro?
Bro.
Why don't you go over to the bar and fill out one of those stubs we're
for a turkey tonight? Great, I feel lucky tonight.
It might even be a butterball.
Quite an impressive guy.
Yes. The French and Allied resistance movement depends on him.
Should be a short war.
You look good, Rick.
Thanks. Do I look the same?
Yeah.
A little shorter.
I see you still have Stan with you.
Yeah.
Stan is someone you can depend on.
Hello, Stan.
Hello, Miss Lisa. It's good to see you. Why don't you play something for us,
Stan? I think as time goes by, it's your favorite. Or maybe you don't remember
it. Oh, no.
Die, die, die, die, die, die.
Die, die, die, die, die, die.
Sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply as time
goes by.
And when two lovers woo, they still say I love you, on
that you can rely.
No matter what the future brings, there's time.
Nighting Roses never out of date hearts
full of passion jealousy and hate
woman needs man and man must have his
meat that no one can deny
It's still the same old story, a fight for love and glory,
case of do or die.
The world will always welcome lovers
as time goes by.
But it's bad for business. Stan, play something upbeat, quick.
Tell me, Lisa, if you're married, what brings you to my place?
Oh, Rick, I had no idea you were in Casablanca.
I never thought I'd see you again.
The Germans have chased us all across Europe.
We're here to meet someone to get passport to London.
I mean, I've got great news.
You found Mugabe. No, but we won the tournament.
A butterball.
Come on, let's go back to the hotel and freshen up.
Wait. There's something you must know about Rick and me.
I knew him a long time ago. Isn't it great bumping into old friends when
out of town?
We were more than friends.
We were... Sir Hasbro, permit me to introduce myself.
I am Major Krieger of the German Army. You're not taking my turkey.
We will take you on the turkey.
Do you want to ask me some questions?
He'll never talk.
You don't know, Rick. They have ways to make that turkey talk.
Say goodbye to my wife.
Yeah.
My darling.
And don't worry about me.
And, Rick, I don't want my wife to be alone.
Would you take care of her tonight?
You've got to get him out of jail.
We'll talk about it in the morning.
She'll be here, I know it.
A little more gin, then?
Yeah, gin.
Of all the pina colada joints in all the towns, why, why, why did she have to
walk into my place?
Maybe it's your early bird special.
Rick.
Stan.
It's about time.
Oh, Rick.
I would have come sooner.
But I had to cook that lousy turkey.
You haven't changed much, have you?
I never meant to hurt you.
Yeah, and the check is in the mail.
How do you think I felt?
Do you think I could ever forget that week we had?
I've tried to, but I can't.
Yes, Detroit was great.
Well, this is Casablanca, and all I can think of is me waiting in a bus station
for a woman who never came.
Oh, Rick, I tried.
But I was...
I was kidnapped by a band of bedrooms.
For three years, I roamed the desert until I finally escaped at an oasis.
For a year and a half, I crawled through the desert, step by step.
Sun, heat, ants.
And finally, I made it.
But when I got back, you were gone.
I knew I should have waited.
Will you ever forgive me?
Oh, yes, my sweetheart.
But right now, the only important thing is that Billy Dee get out of Casablanca
so he can continue his work.
And what's that got to do with me, sweetheart?
That spy Fifi told me you have the tickets we want.
Would you give them to us, Rick?
For me?
Lisa, it doesn't take much to see that the problems of two little people don't
amount to a hill of black -eyed peas in this wacky, mixed -up world.
You'll see that someday.
Is that a yes or a no, Rick?
I'm not giving you those tickets.
But, Rick, how will we get out of Casablanca?
Try getting kidnapped by a band of Bedouins.
I understand
you're a local spy.
And you're the leader of the underground.
Any information I might find useful?
Yes.
What married woman has a fling going on with a prominent saloon owner while her
husband's trying to free France? I can't believe it.
Madame de Gaulle is a floozy?
What do you have for us today?
In a few days, I might have a lightly used resistance leader for you.
Sounds good.
Oh, that's not good enough for me, Mother.
Oh, it's you.
Have you seen Rick?
Look, Rick is a very good friend of mine. Why don't you give him a break and
leave him alone?
Go back to your conveyor belt in Detroit.
You know, looking at you, I know where they got the term free French.
Not bad for a woman with false eyelashes, a phony accent, and wearing a
saucer on her head.
And a black belt in karate.
It's been very nice talking to you. I've got to get back to my spa shift.
I see you came back.
Oh, Rick, after I left you last night, I couldn't sleep.
Yeah, I know. That turkey does kind of lay on your stomach.
Oh, Rick, it's not that.
Now that I've found you again, I can't leave you.
Can we start over?
You know, Lisa, it doesn't take much to see that the problems of two little
people don't amount to a hill of memory lane fried chicken wings in this whole
wacky, mixed -up world.
You'll see that someday.
Is that a yes or a no?
It means Hasbro travels alone.
Oh, Rick.
Lisa, you're the greatest.
Fifi. Rick, I want a ticket.
They found out I'm a spy.
If I don't get out of Casablanca, I'll be killed.
Why should that mean anything to me, sweetheart?
Because I have information that might make you a fortune.
Tell me more about it.
It was flown in by Courier Pigeon.
The Chicago White Sox are gonna throw the World Series.
They did that in 1919.
Oh. The pigeon must have walked, huh?
Rick.
Have you told Hasbro?
Oh, Rick, I didn't have the heart to.
Oh. Well, he must know by now.
Honey, I can't seem to find your bags.
I don't think so.
Let's get to the point, Hasbro.
Here's your one seat and your one ticket.
Wait a minute.
No bags, one seat and one ticket.
I know what's going on around here.
You do?
You're going to sit on my lap.
Wrong house, bro. You're traveling alone.
She's staying with me. I know it's a bit foggy, Rick, but this is my wife.
She wants to stay with me. She's going with me. She's staying with me.
Lisa, what do you have to say?
Don't stop now, child. Keep fighting over me.
Lisa, you've got a decision to make.
Oh, Rick, I know.
But I'm so torn.
You see...
I met Billy Dee, and I fell in love with him.
But then I thought you were dead, and I met Rick, and I fell in love with him.
But then I found out he wasn't dead, and I saw Billy Dee again, and I fell in
love with him.
And then I saw Rick again, and I fell in love with him.
It's been a busy week.
Alicia, I'm getting on that plane.
If you're not there in five minutes, I won't...
Get you a pair of earphones.
Oh, no.
What do I do?
Lisa, it doesn't take much to see that the problems of two little people don't
amount to a hill of ham hocks in this whole wacky, mixed -up world.
You'll see that someday.
Is that a yes or a no?
Oh, never mind.
Wait up, Billy Dee.
Okay.
I'm ready, boss.
Stan, what are you doing here?
You're a moody guy, boss. I never know when you're going to want me to play it
again.
I, uh, left the stool on the bus.
Not now.
Ah, Rick.
We have been looking for you. Where is Hasbro?
He's on that plane.
Ah, silly, but stop it.
I'll call the new father.
Get away from that phone.
You're bluffing. Go ahead. Make my day.
Okay.
I will.
Where are you going?
I'm not stupid. I've seen this movie. I want to live with the sequel.
That only leaves you, Louie.
Now, Rick, if you're going to shoot me, can I at least have one last request?
How about this?
Major Krieger has disappeared.
Round up the usual suspects.
Thanks, Louie.
You know, this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Major Krieger will be back. I'm afraid that you and I are going to have to
Casablanca, Rick.
Louie, you ever been to Acapulco?
Yeah.
Acapulco, here we come.
Now, are you asleep? Wake up, wake up.
Coming, Billy G.
What?
Oh, honey, you got the tickets. Yeah, the kid can still sprint. We'd better
hurry up. After all this, it'd be terrible if we missed that plane,
Honey, I mean, it doesn't take much to see that the problems of two little
people don't amount to a hill of turnip greens in this crazy, mixed -up world.
Is that a yes or a no?
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