Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

Live your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you're loved, you don't need to roam.

Cause there's no place like home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with all fame or weight.

Pulling together, we'll make it right.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't.

So I'm a little late.

A little late?

Yeah, you're so late, the letters in that bag probably got three -cent stamps

them.

Pearl, since I am a trifle tardy, would you mind putting these in the boxes for

me? Okay.

And what makes you think Pearl is going to do your work for you?

Experience.

Ah, Saga's got another love letter.

This is a letter from Calvin's school.

He's not in trouble, is he? My Calvin?

Nonsense.

I'll kill him.

What's wrong, girl?

He'll flunk history if he doesn't pass the final on Monday.

Monday? That's less than a week away.

It'll take him that long to sit down again.

Man, I'm Larry Bird.

If Larry Bird plays for the Celtics, why would Magic pass it to Larry Bird?

Man, I don't care.

I'm not going to be Kurt Reynolds. Hey, man, you got to be for Magic Johnson.

If you don't pass your final, you are going to be Tragic Johnson.

What? Why didn't you tell me you were going to plug history?

You too.

Hey, I thought I was the only one.

It's almost not my fault. The class is boring.

Yeah, even the teacher falls asleep.

And with all this knowing, who can concentrate?

It happens when you two are the only ones filmed. Because those two are the

ones falling asleep.

And you better wake up.

Yes, ma 'am.

Hey, look at the size of that limousine.

Yeah, the chauffeur has to call a cab just to get to the back door.

Is that Sandra?

Bye -bye, you gorgeous hunk of manhood.

Yep, that's Sandra.

Don't look.

She just wants to get attention.

Well, she's certainly got mine.

Afternoon, everyone.

Beautiful day, isn't it?

That was some limo, Miss Clark.

That's my new boyfriend, David.

Your new boyfriend?

Mm -hmm. I thought you'd known him at least three whole days.

No, that was a different David.

This one happens to manage one of the most preeminent concert artists of our

time. Who? Vladimir Horowitz?

Billy Eckstein?

No. Mix Master Michael.

Mix Master Michael?

Who?

You know Mix Master Michael? You've heard him on the radio, Mom.

He's a rapper.

Oh, he works in a gift shop?

No, Grandma, he's a rapper, a guy that does rap music. You know, rapping to the

beat. My name is Mix Master Michael, and I'm here to speak about rapping to the

sound of a different beat.

That sure don't sound like the Inkspots.

It's all sold out. Oh, I know, but I'm going.

David's in a dilemma for me.

Well, Tata.

And I've got clothes in the dryer. Cheerio.

God, I sure wish I could go to that concert.

But your butt's going to be in those books.

It means history anyway. Once it's over, what good is it?

Well, if you don't know where you've been, how are you going to figure out

you're going?

If you don't pass history, you're not going to college.

Oh, don't worry.

Basketball's going to get me into college.

Don't get in a scholarship.

How do you know that?

Hey, I'm the number one basketball player on the team.

Number two.

Hey, I'm the one with the jump shot.

Yeah, well, just make sure you don't jump on all them eggs you put in that

basket.

Something could happen, you know. Then I'll just go out and get a job.

What kind of a job?

Maybe a history teacher.

Thank you for letting us use your apartment, ma 'am. Oh, that's okay,

Don't mention it. Listen, I know the tutor can't work with painters in the

house. Oh, Grandma, Eddie and I can do it ourselves. We don't need no tutor.

Yeah, tutors are for dummies.

That's the first right thing you said this week.

And just remember, Eddie, your mama is paying for half of this.

Look, I don't need no tutor, I don't want no tutor, and I won't have no

I'm not even going to talk to the guy. No, don't say nothing.

I'm the history tutor?

You're the history tutor?

Well, if you guys leave, we can get started with the lesson. Yeah, I've got

million things to ask you.

The enthusiasm is so refreshing.

And you must be Calvin and Eddie.

And you must be beautiful.

The name's Helen.

Calvin, I thought you weren't interested in being tutored. Oh, that's history.

Sounds more like bio... Apology to me.

Well, it looks like she can handle him. Let's go in the kitchen. Okay. You

coming, Brenda?

Uh -uh.

Shall we get started?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why don't you sit over here? The light is much better.

Uh, you know, I think I would be a little more comfortable over there.

So will I.

first, let me ask you a few questions to see how much help you need.

Now, who was the first president of the United States?

George Washington.

Good. Hey, just goes to show you what great tutoring can do.

Uh, so much for first grade history.

Now, who was the British commander during the Revolutionary War?

Uh, your turn.

It beats me.

Well, Well, as you can see, this is hopeless. You might as well quit now.

meeting you.

Uh, no, no, but I do think I've had my work cut out for me, and you two guys

need to work much harder.

I guess that means I have to stay after school, huh? Hey, I am prepared.

You know, a mind is such a terrible thing to waste.

Now, what oppressive measure caused the Americans to revolt?

That's easy.

Too much homework.

Now, you were right.

What did you come up with, Daddy?

Well, I'm glad to see everybody is having so much fun and enjoying

Of course, that's not why we're here.

At 6 .50 an hour.

Yeah, Mom, if she only stayed half an hour, it would only be 3 .25.

I think I can handle him, Mrs. Jenkins. Now, come on, guys.

Concentrate. And we're going to stay right here to see that you concentrate.

Right!

Now, at the Battle of Trenton, What did General Washington do that surprised the

British? He crossed his legs.

I mean, he crossed the Delaware.

The Delaware.

Pearl, you a mess.

Actually, I think she was a pretty good tutor.

Uh -huh. But next time, I'm going to ask for an ugly one.

I heard that.

Hey, everybody.

Where's Helen?

Uh, Helen is history.

We are your new tutors.

Oh, Mrs. Jenkins, that won't be necessary. I mean, we don't want to put

through any trouble.

Calvin, sit down and take off those stupid glasses.

And we'll be with you in a minute.

Hi, Mary, can I borrow your blue purse because I...

What's this, a town meeting?

No. Pearl and I are going to tutor Eddie and Calvin in American history.

Oh, American history. You know, that was my favorite class in high school.

Mine, too. But when I was in school, that wasn't much of it.

When I was in school, I had such a crush on my history teacher, Mr. Erdman. Oh,

he was very tall, distinguished, had great temples.

I often wanted to make history with him. Gross, gross.

Could we go down memory lane another time?

Good.

Now, Eddie, why don't you tell me everything you know about the New Deal?

New Deal.

New Deal.

You know about the New Deal, don't you, Calvin?

Uh, I don't think our teacher covered that yet.

He still spends a lot of time on the old deal.

Mm -hmm.

Let's back up.

Who was the president in the 30s? The 30s?

Now, don't tell me.

No, it wasn't Kennedy.

Was it?

Well, can you give us a hint?

Okay.

Rose... What?

Roosevelt.

Good, that's right.

Hey, I got it right. It was Roosevelt.

Which one?

Teddy?

Calvin. Calvin Roosevelt.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

Bless his soul.

Okay. Now, when Franklin Delano Roosevelt was president, there was a

Depression. What was that? Yeah, I know that. I know that.

That was when people were really poor.

There wasn't enough money. There wasn't enough jobs. And life was a terrible

struggle. That's not history. That's current events.

Right. Hey, so since everybody was feeling really low and down, they

call it the Great Depression.

I'm beginning to feel the same way.

Well, no wonder, Mary. You're doing this all wrong.

I know what I'm doing, Rose. I'm a teacher's aide.

Well, if you knew what you were doing, they would be getting some of the

questions right.

I guess you think you could do this better. I told you I was very good in

history. No, what you told me was that you were good at history teachers.

Well, if we would do it my way, we wouldn't be standing here arguing and

would be learning something.

All right, Miss Smarty Pants.

Be my guest.

Thank you.

Now.

Oh, the Social Security Act was passed in 1934. True or false?

Why don't you just give me the asses?

Quiet, please. This is my classroom now.

Okay, fellas.

False.

Well,

it was better than you. At least one of them got it right.

And I bet you don't know which one.

Hey, everybody.

Hi, Lester. I do, too. And besides, we're on our way to multiple choice.

This is not Sesame Street, Rose.

Hey, hey, hey. Is this a private argument or can anybody join?

Oh, hi, honey. What's going on in here?

Well, I'm trying to help Calvin and Eddie with their final exam in history.

she's flunking. Well, what's the big problem?

Once you get a handle on the names and the dates, the rest is pretty simple.

I was great at history.

Oh, Lord.

I guess you want to try a crack at it, too, huh? No problem for the kid.

All right, fellas, up and at them. Let's go.

Hit it.

I smell trouble.

26, 27, 28.

29. Daddy, why do you have them doing push -ups? If they don't want to use

brains, they better have strong backs.

All right, you stars think you can pay attention now? Yes, sir.

All right, get up and sit down.

Come on, come on.

Now, as I was saying, the Supreme Court has the responsibility of interpreting

the Constitution.

And here are some sandwiches to fortify the Constitution.

Not in the middle of my lecture.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I wasn't thinking. Yes, there's a lot of that going on

around here.

Hi, Ms. Clark. Hi, Brenda. Good news.

I got the hottest ticket in town.

Uh, Sandra, we really do have a lot of work to do here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I don't mean to interfere with your work. I just want to tell the kids I got

them all tickets to the Mixmaster Michael concert tomorrow night. Miss

Yes? Daddy, did you hear that? We're going to the rap concert.

Magic and Bird don't have time for a concert.

How did you get tickets? I thought they were sold out.

I can do a little rapping myself.

Miss Clark, you are fresh.

That means terrific.

Oh, thank you, Eddie. You're not to stare yourself.

Fresh? I thought bad meant terrific.

Mm -mm.

Fresh replaced bad.

Bad replaced boss.

Boss replaced cool.

Which will replace fresh next year.

Mary, is it all right if I take the kids to the concert?

David is sitting in the limousine. The limousine!

Oh, no!

Well, now, see, Brenda did her work, so Brenda can go.

Now, I don't know about your mama, Eddie, but as far as I'm concerned, your

grandma ain't gonna let you go nowhere unless you pass that test.

No sweat.

I could talk Ann to it.

Yo, you want to bet?

Pearl, will you relax?

Calvin will be here soon.

I told him to have a good lunch before the test.

I hope he did.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Miss Shea.

Ren, is Calvin with you?

Well, I waited for him, but I guess he was still taking the test.

I'm going to go get something to eat. Okay.

You know, Mary, I hope he comes out all right in this test.

You see, Calvin...

is the only member of our family who ever had a chance to go to college.

Oh, I understand, Pearl.

It means a lot to all of us.

It would break my heart if he missed out.

Hi, Mrs. Jenkins. Hi, Grandma. How did you do?

About as good as Eddie.

Calvin.

It was a long test.

Three hours.

Well, did you answer all the questions?

Not all of them. A couple of them were hard. Even Eddie thought so. All the

thought it was the toughest test in the school. Calvin.

I flunked.

Oh, Calvin.

Don't worry, Grandma. I want to be a basketball player.

I don't want to hear about no basketball.

Do you hear me? I don't want to hear about no basketball.

What did I do?

She's disappointed, Calvin.

She's worked hard for you to go to college.

You'll be the first one in the family.

And she promised your mother.

But I'm going to college. I'm going to get a basketball scholarship.

Oh, yeah? Well, I got news for you.

Your coach called.

And he told your grandmother that if you flunked this exam, you were off the

team. So I think you can say goodbye to basketball and to college.

Hey, all right, Ed, you got it right.

That was good. Just remember.

You're getting a second chance, so don't blow it. Oh, Mrs. Jenkins, we won't.

And we really appreciate you getting our history teacher to let us take another

test. Mr.

Stafford was easy.

I had to beg Lester to help you again. And I don't expect you to disappoint me

again. We won't.

Good. Now let's get started.

Today we're going to discuss the events leading up to the Spanish -American War.

What was that?

Oh, great. My favorite war.

Oh, hi, Sandra.

Brenda's getting ready. I'll tell her you're here. Okay.

Well, boys, how do I look?

Wow, Ms. Clark, you look great.

Thanks. How's the studying going?

I think we're doing better, but I'm still sort of nervous.

Oh, I can understand that.

Before every big test, I used to study with my friend, too. We'd get the

we'd get the chills, we'd break out in a cold sweat.

So what did you do?

We stopped studying at those driving movies.

I still can't believe we're going to the Mix Master Michael concert.

See you guys later. Too bad you can't go.

Man, I wish we were going to that concert. Hey, man, forget that concert.

gotta pass this test.

Okay, now, listen up.

What two countries were involved in the Spanish -American War?

In what year did the main sink?

1890.

1898, Calvin.

That's no use, Mr. Jenkins. There's no way we're going to memorize all this

stuff by Monday. Look, don't give up too soon. I'm going to be working with you

guys all weekend.

Yeah, come on, guys. You can do it. Thank you, Mrs. Jenkins.

But we blew it once, and we'll blow it again.

Grandma was right. We should have been studying all along.

the concert it was great calvin you would have loved it miss clark's friend

us backstage and we met mix master michael all right he gave me an

album and he sent one for you guys too wow he sang all of his hits did he do

vicious lover rapping on the rebound yeah did he do bust your face yes bust

face yeah you heard it i'm the rapping king and i'm number one I'm the best

in the business, and I'm having big fun. When it comes to rapping, I'm the

number one ace, and if you call me a liar, I'll bust your face.

No wonder he can't learn history. His brain is all clogged up with that rap

crap.

Now, what are you grinning about?

Boy, they've been... at the library over four hours.

This should be back by now.

So, Mary, what is this brilliant idea you've come up with? Oh, just a little

something I worked out with the boys. You'll see.

Well, whatever it is, I hope it works, because he's only got one more chance to

pass that test.

Oh, don't worry, Pearl. I think we got it this time. Okay.

Oh, here they come now.

You ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Check this out.

Hit it.

If you check it out, I'm sure you'll find you remember things better when you

put them in rhyme. Like Abbott for it, except after C. Now apply that, I

suppose, to history.

It was 1492 when Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

When the Mayflower landed, there was no dawn. So the pilgrims got off at

Plymouth Rock.

Rock, rock, rock.

Peter Minuet must have really been around. For $24, he bought all of

The Boston Massacre was more than a brawl.

Crispus Attucks was the first to fall.

Patrick Henry was the pitch, you have to set it back. It said, give me liberty

or give me death.

Death, death, death.

I never liked this. Music got like an off the map. But the upperclassmen cast

even are prepared to rap. Well, rap, rap, rap.

It took a civil.

It's June 1944.

It was the DJ invasion of the Second World War.

Segregation was a terrible thing.

But then along came a man named Martin Luther King. They got it.

They got it.

You can rock and roll. You can roll and rock.

But you got to study hard if you want to reach the top. Your message is fresh

and your rap really good.

Now stand back, people, because we're going to get the books.

Books. Books.

You get the algebra.

Mary, guess what?

What?

I did it. I did it. I did it.

He passed the test.

Passed it? How does a B sound?

Oh, Calvin, that's wonderful.

Way to go, Calvin.

I knew you could do it. Eddie passed, too. And we owe it all to you, Mr. and

Mrs. Jenkins.

Well, thanks, Calvin, but you guys did all the work.

Oh, I'm so proud of him.

Grandma, I want to let you know that I won't be satisfied until I bring home

straight A's or B's or whichever comes first.

Thank you, honey.

Hey, Calvin, maybe you can help put my algebra to rap.

Hey, shut up, Brent.

Pops and I will do it for you.

Now, rapping can help you, but don't be a fool.

It's not a substitute for working hard in school.

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