All language subtitles for 227 s03e09 The Honeymoons Over

There's no place like home.

Live your family around you, you're
never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't
need to roam.

Cause there's no place like home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with all fame away.

Pulled together, we'll make it right.

No place like home.

With your family around you, you're
never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't
need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like. There
ought to be there. There ain't no place

like. There ought to be there. There
ain't no place like.

There's no place like home.

I mean no place child.

They're late.

Well, of course they're late.

You know Ed, he's probably out buying
his bride another gift.

Bride? I thought you said they've been
married for five years.

They have, but he still treats her like
they're on their honeymoon.

I hate people on their honeymoon.

All they do is grin and write thank you
notes.

I don't know. I think it might be nice
to be treated like a storybook princess.

If that's the way you feel, Mary, I'll
run out and round up the seven drawers

we can have a party.

I'm married to a comedian.

Well, Lester, I think it's wonderful
that you're putting your cousin up.

Oh, Lester and Ed are more than just
cousins, honey. Yeah, he's kind of like

kid brother. I stayed with Ed and his
parents when I got out of the Army. And

Mary introduced him to his wife, Sherry.

There they are.

Come in, everybody.

Rose,

this is the perfect magazine for you.

Playgirl.

Every month there's a centerfold with
some gorgeous man.

The subscription is only $35 a year.

How much for just the centerfold?

Save your money.

I'll loan you mine.

Selling magazines is this great new job
you've been bragging about?

Well, don't knock it. It's only part
-time. And a friend of mine did this for

two months and got a free trip to Spain.

Wait a minute.

You mean if I buy a magazine, you go to
Spain? Mm -hmm. Give me two.

Sergeant Mary's been telling us about
the perfect couple.

Me and who else?

No, I was talking about Lester's cousin
Ed and his beautiful wife, Sherry. Well,

just wait till you meet them. They're
the perfect couple. They never argue.

never disagree. They've never even had a
fight.

Are they living together?

My second husband and me argued every
day until we got separate bedrooms.

And that worked?

Sure.

Mine was in Washington and his was in
Chicago.

Oh, honey, they're here.

Hi.

Sorry we're late, but Ed insisted on
stopping to buy me a present.

No.

Hey, Sharon. Hi.

Well, cuz, you haven't changed a bit.

Hello, Rosalinda.

Meet my cousin, Ed, and his lovely wife,
Sherry. Hi.

How are you?

So, Ed, what'd you buy this time?

Oh, I just got her this little pin.

Oh, that's sweet.

And matching earrings.

Oh. Shut up, girl. You got a pin and
earrings? Well, she had to have

to go with the new dress.

Fortunately, they didn't have my shoe
size.

Uh, Ed, you wouldn't happen to have a
brother, would you?

Yes, I do. But he's 12.

I'll wait.

Look at you. My goodness, you look
terrific.

Thank you. My room's all ready for you.
Oh, sorry to put you out.

Oh, hey, it's no problem.

I'm going down to stay with my friend
Tiffany, and we're going to order pizza

and watch LL Cool J videos.

See you later. Okay. Bye -bye.

So, I guess you two are ready to freshen
up, huh? Yeah, but first I'd like to

get a little picture. Okay. Oh, good.

Okay.

Say cheese.

Cheese.

So, Ed, how do you feel about your
firm's move to Washington?

Oh, wonderful. You know, Sherry and I
spent our honeymoon here.

To think I got a girl like this. I kept
pinching myself the whole time.

As I recall, honey, it wasn't just
yourself you were pinching.

Those were really fun days.

So when's your new apartment going to be
ready? Hopefully by the end of the

week. It is so nice of you to put us up.
And to seat us so close together.

Honey, honey, honey.

That's my job.

Ed,

do you...

I enjoy it. Look, I know I spoil the
lady, but if you think I'm bad now, you

should have seen that.

Honey, you don't need to solve.

It must be wonderful to have a man so
attentive and devoted.

Not if you want some salt.

Well, I say, when you find the hope
diamond, you'll want to take care of it.

Perfection is not easy to come by.

Well,

who's ready for dessert?

I think Sherry's had hers.

I'll help you, Mary. Okay.

First, you got to pay the toll.

Hey, ladies. You forgot your change.

Honey, honey.

Honey, I'm just going into the kitchen.

What do you do when she goes to the
grocery store?

That man sure is crazy about you. I
know. Last week, he traded in our double

for a single because he couldn't stand
being so far away from me.

Well, I have never seen anybody so
devoted. I know. Every time I turn

he's buying me gifts, protecting me,
taking care of my every need.

I wonder if he'll ever change.

Sherry, he was like that when he met
you. He's been that way ever since he's

been married to you. Don't worry, he
won't change.

Are you sure?

Look, Ed will probably be that way for
the rest of his life. Yeah, that's what

thought. I'm leaving him.

What?

I'm leaving Ed.

But why?

Oh, Mary, he's wonderful and kind and
gentle, good. He's everything that a

husband ought to be. But he is so
stifling and overprotective, he won't

work. He even makes us use the same
space in a revolving door.

I mean, I can't breathe.

Well, have you talked to him about it? A
hundred times.

I'm sorry, Mary. I'm leaving Ed.

Tonight. Tonight? But, Sherry, you...
Will you get out here before I die of

loneliness, you would -you -face?

Look at the poor man. How are you going
to tell him? You're going to break his

heart. No.

If I tell him, he'll just go to pieces.

It would be much kinder if I just find
my moment and leave.

I know he'll be in good hands.

Wait, wait, wait. Where's the dessert?
We're all waiting for it. Bring the

coffee. Wait, Lester.

Mary, we can't stay for dessert. Yeah,
we're going to go catch that new Eddie

Murphy movie. Wait a minute. You can't
leave. I got to tell you what Sherry

said. I don't want to hear what Sherry
said. I want to hear Eddie Murphy. Come

on, Rose. Let's go. Okay. Rose.

Rose.

Goodbye, Eddie. Goodbye. Nice to meet
you, Sherry. Bye -bye.

I hope to see you guys soon, okay? Well,
in that case, you better stay.

Here, have some pie. Sit down, take your
time.

Pearl, the pie does look good.

Put that down, Rose, and I'll buy you
some milk duds. Come on.

You know, this looks almost as good as
Sherry's banana walnut cake.

Oh, so you do let her bake?

No, I make it.

But I named it after her.

If you'll excuse me.

Where are you going?

I'm just going to the bathroom.

Honey, go with her.

What?

It's okay. I know where it is.

Lester, I gotta see you in the kitchen.

I suppose I'll finish my dessert, baby.

Now, honey.

You two lovebirds can't stay apart
either. Runs in the family, huh, Les?

What is going on?

Sherry is leaving Ed.

She's just going to the bathroom.

No, they're splitting up.

What? You're kidding.

No, I'm not kidding.

She's leaving him and she's doing it
tonight.

You mean she came over here planning to
do this?

Why? Because she says he's stifling her.
Stifling her?

We can't talk about it now. Just don't
let her out of your sight.

Hey, I got a little surprise for Sherry.

She's got an even bigger surprise for
him.

What's at the front door?

Here, here, here. It's our anniversary
tonight.

We met on a Wednesday, so every
Wednesday night I give her a little

She would be so disappointed if I
forgot.

There we go.

Yes!

Come on.

Sherry!

Sherry! Ah, Sherry, I know where you're
hiding.

You know what she's doing?

She's playing this little game again.
Just last week, she hid in the closet

over four hours.

Didn't that strike you as strange?

I know where she is. She's in the
bedroom.

Unpacking.

Sherry!

Honey, this is terrible.

Look, when you break it to him, take it
easy.

Me tell him? Why do I have to be the
one?

He's your cousin. Well, you introduced
him to her.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Where's your attic?

What's an attic?

Where's your basement? She's not in the
basement either. Oh, come on. She's got

to be somewhere. I've looked everywhere
else.

Ed, come over here and sit down.

There's something I want to tell you.

Come on, Ed.

Now, look, you haven't eaten in three
days.

At least try this cereal.

That a boy, Ed. Scoop him up. Scoop him
up.

But at least he's trying to eat.

No, he's not.

He's using a little alphabet to spell
out Sherry's name.

Y 'all got to do something to snap him
out of this.

We've done everything, Rose.

I mean, Lester took him to the ball
game. We played charades. I even cooked

his favorite meal.

Yesterday, Mary took him to the zoo.

And when we left, even the hyenas were
crying.

I've told him every joke I know.

No wonder he's depressed.

It's Sherry. She's back.

Mary, it's Sandra.

And she brought Sandra with her.

Oh, hi, Ed. You're here. Hi, everybody.
Oh.

I've been running around like crazy
trying to sell these magazines.

Ed, I know the food here isn't the best,
but you look awful.

Sandra, would you come back in another
lifetime?

Well, I got to give the man his premium.
He ordered a lifetime subscription to

Family Circle. And, Ed, the good news is
you get this lovely welcome mat.

Welcome to...

Sherry and Ed have split up.

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, you keep this match. You put a
flower pot over her name or something.

Sandra, we have a serious problem here.
Now, Ed's already depressed.

Don't make it worse.

Well, I heard Oprah say that exercise is
great for depression.

Why don't we try to get him up on his
feet and exercise?

Hey, that's a good idea, Rose. Come on,
everybody. Let's do it. Come on, Ed.

Come on. Oh, no. Come on.

Okay, we'll do some warm -up exercise,
okay? Ready?

March it in place.

Left, right, left, left, right, left.

This reminds me of my old army days.

Left, right, left.

You had a good wife, but she left.
You're right.

Let's go!

New exercise, new exercise.

Jumping jacks, in place. Ready?

One,

one.

I feel much better.

I can't sleep.

I keep thinking of Sherry.

Everything I do, I see her everywhere.

Everywhere I look, I see that face.

That face.

That beautiful face.

Turn off the radio.

Now you see what you've done?

What is he doing in here? He's singing
to me.

Oh, Lord have mercy. Why?

Oh, I miss her so much.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Mary, give the guy a break. This thing
has been a big shock for him. A shock

him? He's in our bed.

Why don't we just cool it? This thing is
ripping him apart. He can't eat. He

can't sleep.

Well, he's doing a heck of a lot better
than we are.

was that in the middle of the night? I
don't know.

I

mean,

why don't we just move out here and
sleep on the sofa?

Well, what do you want me to do? Throw
him out in the street? He's family,

Oh, so what am I?

Mary, this has got to stop. I can't take
it anymore.

What is it, Rose? Well, 20 minutes ago,
I was awakened out of a sound sleep. And

you know who it was?

Your... cousin ed said he needed to talk
to somebody because y 'all were down

here sleeping well we're not sleeping
now so what did he have to say oh i

know something like well at least he
didn't sing to you

can you see that he's waking up the
whole building man the guy's got a

and rose is not the whole building

this

is the third night in the road that
man's gonna walk off and

think he is a phantom of 227?

He did it again.

Well, what'd he do to you? My boyfriend,
Wendell, was about to kiss me goodnight

and he yelled, don't do it, she'll just
toss you aside like an old shoe.

He should know I don't wear no old
shoes.

Lester, you got to do something about
that cousin of yours, honey. I mean it

now.

I don't know what else we can do. We
already tried everything.

And he's still down in the dumps. Well,
y 'all better try something else. Yeah,

I hate to see a nice guy suffer when
he's ruining my love life.

I think what he needs is something to
build up his confidence.

Something to build up his ego.

Something.

Or someone.

Oh, no, don't worry, Wendell.

After tonight, that poor man won't be
stepping on our stairway to heaven.

I gotta run.

That's him now. Uh -huh.

Come on in, Ed.

Don't be afraid.

Ed!

That's it, all the way in.

Hello, Sandra.

You know why you're here, Ed?

To feel better.

Right.

Come on, we're just going to have a nice
little dinner.

Oh. Look at that. You went to all this
trouble.

Oh, I just whipped all this up in no
time. An hour ago, I was soaking in a

if you can imagine that.

I'm trying not to.

Ed, relax. Sit down.

That's my job. I'll butter that.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so
embarrassed.

You know, I used to do that for Sherry
all the time. I guess it just drove her

crazy.

Ed.

I would love for you to butter my bread
for me.

You would?

Mm -hmm.

And after you finish that, you can cut
up my lamb chops if you want.

And I didn't think this was gonna be a
fun night.

But you gotta promise me one thing.
What?

You can't mention her.

Agreed. You're right. You're right. No
more shh.

I will never mention that name again.
She walked out on me, right?

Not that I blame her. I mean, it is all
my fault.

Ed. Would you stop putting yourself
down?

Now, you are really a sweet, sweet guy.

Really? Yes.

And there are plenty of women who would
die to meet a nice guy like you.

You think so?

Yes. Now, come on. Now, how about a
smile?

There, see? Now, that's better. Now, you
keep that smile and you stay happy.

How about a drink?

Sure. Here, have a little sherry.

You know...

This is something we haven't done in a
long time.

Yeah.

Being alone.

If that's Ed, tell him we moved.

Hi, Mary.

Sherry!

Now, Ed, eat your dessert. It's good for
you.

Mm, I get it.

Are you finished eating your tapioca?

halfway back. Come around after dessert.

Forget dessert.

Sherry's downstairs.

Sherry?

Yes, and she wants to see you.

She'll come back to me. I knew it. Just
take it easy, Ed, and listen to us.

Right. You don't want to blow it this
time.

Yeah, this is another shot, man. You're
right. You're right.

But where am I going to get a nice
little present at this hour?

Ed, I don't think a little present is
going to do it. You're right. You're

right. It's got to be something bigger,
like a car.

I like the way this man thinks.

Ed, listen to me.

Now stop and think.

Why did Sherry leave you?

I smothered her, overprotected her, gave
her too many gifts.

Right. So what are you going to do?

Act like a regular person.

Right. How do they act?

Just be cool.

Cool?

Get up.

Now before you go downstairs, we're
going to rehearse, right?

Sandra, you be Sherry.

All right, I'll take the car keys right
now.

Would you stop fooling around?

Get over by the door.

Okay, now Sherry's back.

Remember, cool.

Cool.

Hi, Ed, I'm back.

Sherry, you're back.

No,

no, no, don't do that.

They all do that.

Lester, get up.

Now, you be Ed, I'll be Sherry.

All right, what do you want me to do?

Just act natural.

Okay.

Hi, Ed, I'm back.

What's for dinner?

Not that natural.

Mary, this is not going to work.

You're right. I'll be Ed.

Okay, now, Ed, try this.

Sherry, all I've ever wanted to do was
make you happy. I just went about it the

wrong way.

I just went about it the wrong way,
but...

I'm ready to try and change.

From now on, no more buttering your
bread for you. No more following you

room to room. Or doing all your
housework for you.

Or doing your nails.

Or carrying you out to the car.

No more little presents. No more
breakfast in bed.

Oh, hold it.

Don't cut out the breakfast.

I don't want to take away all your
pleasures.

Oh, Sherry. Oh, I missed you. I missed
you, too.

Baby, I guess it took being apart for me
to realize that you were treating me

that way because I was letting you.
Well, from now on, you get your own

the revolving door.

And you can get that job if you want to.

That's a deal.

Lester and Mary, we can't thank you
enough for all you've done.

Come on, honey, let's go pack.

That's thanks enough.

Hello?

Hi.

Yes, it has been a long time.

What?

You'd like to come and stay with us for
a while?

No more house guests, no.

Oh, that would be lovely.

See you soon. Bye -bye.

You crazy?

Who was that?

Brenda.