All language subtitles for 227 s01e13 Marys Christmas.eng

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're
never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't
need to roam.

Cause there's no place like home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with those same old
ways.

Pulling together, we'll make it right.

With help from our friends, I... No, we
can't fly back. No place like home.

With your family around you, you're
never alone.

When you know that you're loved, you
don't need to roam. Cause there ain't no

place like. Better believe it. There
ain't no place like.

Better believe it. There ain't no place
like.

There's no place like home.

I mean, no place, child.

I'm sorry about the mess. I got started
and things just got out of hand. Yeah,

that's the way it was with my first
husband.

I bet I can guess what you're having for
dinner.

Cabbage. The whole building can guess.

Thank you, ladies.

Did y 'all come all the way up here just
to tell me my place was a mess and that

cabbage smell?

No, Sandra phoned. And she told us to
meet her here.

Sandra? Mm -hmm. Yeah, she and Reverend
Davis.

Reverend Davidson's coming over. Yes, to
talk about the extension on the lease

for the church.

Here? Yes. Today? Today. How soon? Very
soon. And we thought we were late.

Well, look at me. Look at this place.

I'm going to kill that woman.

All days to cook cabbage. Rose, I've got
to change. Here, I'll get this stuff

up. Pearl, would you open the kitchen
window? Okay.

Oh, that's them.

Rose, quick. Tell them I'm out. You want
me to lie to the Reverend?

Be cool, child.

He's been in a lot of disastrous areas.

Afternoon, Mary.

Hello, Mary.

Reverend!

Come in, come in.

My,

it's always so warm and homey here.

Good afternoon, ladies.

Why didn't you call and tell me you were
coming?

I did phone you. I phoned Rose, I phoned
Pearl, I phoned you and your line...

Oops, I forgot to phone back.

Well, Reverend, did we get the extension
on the church lease?

You see, it would be pretty hard to do a
Christmas service if we don't have a

church. Well, that's why we're here.

I was talking to the Reverend about a
personal matter when he told me...

that awful odor?

It's cabbage.

I'm sorry. Lester just loves it.

Don't worry about it, Mary.

It's one of my favorites, too.

What about the lease?

Well...

I've got some bad news for you.

The corporation that owns our land is
not going to renew our lease.

Why not? Some flimsy excuse about
subdividing the lot and making millions

dollars. Oh, now we're going to lose our
church.

Wait a minute. I've got to sit down for
this.

Are you trying to tell me they're going
to take the church?

I've got some good news.

That same corporation has given us a
beautiful new lot overlooking the

Oh, that's wonderful.

But now we're going to have to build a
new church.

Where are we going to have our Christmas
services?

Oh, no need to panic. I've come up with
a brilliant plan.

What, move Christmas till July?

Well, no, no. You tell them, Beth.

I just come from City Hall, and we have
a permit to move our church. To move the

whole building?

How are we going to do that by
Christmas?

That's the problem.

I've checked with the moving companies,
but they'd be too expensive, and it

would take too long.

That's why we're here. We can all help.

I ain't going to move no church.

I've brought the estimate.

Unfortunately, it's going to take a
minor miracle to get the church in place

Christmas. That's why in time of need,
I'm turning to someone else.

Oh, you mean him.

No, him.

Lester? Mm -hmm. I volunteered him.
Excuse me, Reverend.

You volunteered my husband? Well, we
work for the same company, Mary. You

live with him.

Why, Sandra, that's a wonderful...

Besides, it's a big construction
company. They can move the church.

But with Lester's help, we can get it
done cheap.

And you don't have to pass that plate to
me so often.

Then it's settled.

Oh, no. Wait.

Now, before y 'all proceed with any more
plans, don't you think you should ask

him? Well, that's where you come and
marry.

Little pillow talk.

Sandra, I am not volunteering Lester for
something he may not be able to do.

Besides, he's very busy.

Hey, babe.

Boy, this has been one hell of a day.

Reverend!

How are you? I didn't know you were
here. What you doing in these parts? And

much is it gonna cost me? Lester, I'm
not here to ask you for any money. Uh

last time you said that I had to paint a
church. Lester, have faith.

It moves mountains, among other things.

Excuse me.

Why are they all staring at me and
smiling?

Don't worry about it, honey. I've
already told them you're too busy to do

what? Move the church. Do what?

It's just a little church.

We lost our lease, but we have a new
lot.

No, no, no. My company builds things. It
doesn't move them. Oh, Lester, you

could subcontract.

Everybody at the company says that you
can work miracles.

Cut the flattery, Sandra.

No pageant, disappointed children, old
people with no place to pray. Look, now,

I just can't... What in the world is
thinking in here?

Your dinner.

Well, it smells like burnt cabbage to
me. Oh, no.

This is all your fault.

Oh, excuse me.

Doing God's work isn't easy, huh, Red?

Mary, with all due respect to the
Reverend, I just don't have time to do

I know it, honey, and don't let Sandra
talk you into it.

It's not that I don't want to help the
church. I just got too much to do

already. Well, then just tell them that
and be tough.

I'll back you up. All right, I've made
up my mind. I'm going out there and

saying no, positively no, period, end of
discussion.

Right.

If he bought Mary that new sewing
machine last Christmas, his butt

to wait so long.

You don't have to let those pants out
anyway.

Oh, yes, I did.

Santa's a pinch more jolly this year.

Why do I get stuck being Santa year
after year? Because you volunteered.

That was in 1979.

The Army let you out faster than that.

Well, the Army is not your daughter.

Do I really have to be here?

You sure do.

Your darling daughter has written a big
part for Daddy Santa and this year's

pageant. Well, I should be down at the
church checking on the move.

Why don't you let Sandra do it? She's
the real mover around here.

Well, I guess there's no real need to go
down there. The church is up on

dollars. The truck is hitched up to pull
it.

Besides, Fred said he's going to move us
in tonight ahead of another move.

So, can the head of the house have his
pants to put on?

Oh, shucks. There goes my plans for
tonight.

Not before you come in and live with me.

I'm sure glad I didn't inherit Dad's
land.

Well, where is everybody? We want to get
this rehearsal started.

Yeah, we worked hard on this. This is
going to be the best pageant ever. The

first Christmas at the new site.

Well, relax, lady. You did a great job.

And it's going to be terrific.

Make way. Make way for the wise man.

Make way for the Magi.

Greetings, greetings, everyone.
Greetings.

Looking good, Calvin. Thank you. What
message do you bring, wise man?

Oh, I'm glad you asked.

Look at this.

We just happened to be standing under
the mistletoe.

That ain't wise, wise man.

I sure hope Santa gets my letter. Do you
really think that's going to do any

good? Sure.

You look nice, Miss Sag.

Why, thank you, Tiffany.

Did you see my letter to Santa?

Not the original, but I did see one of
your Xerox copies.

By the way, where is our angel?

Talk about a fallen angel.

Well, baby, how do I look?

Oh, great, honey. I just love a man with
a beard.

Why aren't you out watching the church?

Oh, don't worry. Santa's little elves
should be hooking it up to the reindeer

right now.

Well, you're the best -looking Santa I
ever saw.

Okay, Tiffany, I got your letter.

You can forget about the Corvette.

Do you remind me why I'm doing this
again?

You get to narrate the pageant. And you
get to pass out candy cans to all the

cute children. Yeah, who sit on my lap
with their wet pants, pull on my beard

and say, You ain't no Santa Claus.

Good evening, everybody.

Oh, hi, Reverend. Hi, Reverend.

Hi, Miss.

Why, Sandra, I didn't recognize you in
that outfit.

I wonder why.

It looks like most of us are here. Shall
we get started?

Yeah. Okay.

Alesta, can I see you in the kitchen for
a moment? Sure.

Uh, Lester, weren't they supposed to be
moving our church this evening?

That's right, Reverend. It's up on Dolly
and ready to go. It's not ready to go.

It's gone.

Great. Those guys sure work fast.

You don't understand. I've looked in
both places and everywhere in between.

Our church has been stolen.

Fred, Lester.

Ask him about the church. Give me a
chance to say hello first.

Say, Fred, what happened to the church?

Our church.

with the cross and the steeple?

I thought you were supposed to move it
tonight.

What? What, what?

Who? Who, who? Who, who?

Did you mind?

Huh?

You turn the job over to Larry. Well,
tell him Larry screwed up. What? I'm

sorry, Reverend.

All right, can I talk to Fred? Well, you
want to talk to Fred, don't you?

Because we got a whole bunch of wise
men, shepherds, and angels in there, and

ain't got no church to put them in.

Oh, Mary.

Fred, we want you to find out who stole
it. our church. Will you stop that?

Your wife better not suddenly end up
with no mink coat either.

Listen, Fred, he hung up.

Well, I guess we better call the Bureau
of Missing Churches or the police.

I already did that. They're looking.

Mom, Dad, we're waiting to rehearse the
pageant. In a minute, dear.

Honey, do we have to go out there and
tell everybody that Christmas is ruined?

Well, I guess there's no sense in
alarming them until we know what

No, we sure don't want to get murdered
during the Christmas rush.

Let's just go out and rehearse.
Everybody's waiting for us. Yeah, okay.

Ho, ho, ho. Let's get started with the
rehearsal.

Right.

So, Mary, what did the Reverend want?

It's personal.

Well, who's sick?

Who's getting a divorce?

Who's going to have?

ladies. We have to do the pageant.

Okay, now, you are one of the narrators,
so you take this, and you stand over

there and follow the script.

Yep. Okay, now, everybody else, place
it.

Okay, and action.

Some people think Christmas is all about
me, good old Saint Nick. Project, Dad.

You try projecting with a beard.

But the true story... Christmas began
when people came to Bethlehem for

census and found the town couldn't
accommodate them all.

We've traveled long and hard today.

No matter how hard we look, we can't
find an inn to sleep

in. I hope they weren't all stolen.

And that very night, a child was born.

Later, an angel appeared before some
shepherds.

Hi, Vance.

I'm here to tell you about a major star
that appeared in the sky to lead the

wise men to the manger.

The star lights the whole sky, and I can
see for miles over hills and valleys.

I wonder if he can see a church on
wheels.

Sorry.

So all... What were the wise men that
they stood there completely silent?

You might want to learn a lesson from
the wise men, baby.

Are you telling me to be quiet, Angel?

Angel, did I miss my cue?

Hark, hark, the shepherds are
approaching.

That line comes later.

Yeah, you stepped on my line. I come
first.

She said, hark.

I'm the harker.

Who cares? I'm an angel. You both just
peasants.

is going far enough.

I think this discord is a sign and it's
time that we had the courage to reveal

the truth.

Lester. Me?

Well, something has happened to our
church.

It's, uh... Been ripped off. Ripped off?

What did they get? Watch my lips. The
whole church.

What they gonna do with High Church?

Teenagers done it.

Joyriding.

Well, shouldn't we call the police?

Yeah. We already did that, Tiffany.

Did they put out an APB? Yeah.

After they stopped laughing.

Well, it's all Lester's fault.

He was in charge of everything.

Lester's fault?

You're the one that volunteered him. But
he agreed to do it.

I agree, but I wasn't in charge of
everything. Anyway, I told you I didn't

time to do it.

You're just mad because the first right
thing you ever did turned out wrong.

Ladies, it doesn't matter whose fault it
is.

That's right. Come on. We can make the
best of this situation.

Somehow. Well, that's easy for you to
say, Rose. Everybody thinks you're an

angel anyway.

This is my first shot.

No church, no services, no pageant.

No egg, no.

All because of Lester.

Hey, now, listen. Let me tell you
something, son.

It's none of my fault.

Will you take your music somewhere else?

What? You just told the Carolus to go
somewhere else.

If he hadn't, I would have.

I think it's time for us to have prayer.

I think you're right, Reverend.

All wise and everlasting thou art, God.

Our congregation, adults and children,
have worked for weeks to prepare a

pageant in your honor, and now our
church has been stolen.

We come to thee, dear God, for your
guidance and for your help.

Amen. Amen.

Well, I guess I should have kept a
closer eye on Fred.

Oh, it's my fault, honey. I never should
have let them talk you into it. Maybe

it's my fault for pretending I didn't
see that collection played last Sunday.

Maybe it's my fault.

For what?

None of your business.

Well, this is the first year that we
haven't set up the manger theme.

Oh, now, come on.

Come on.

We can all rise above this.

Wait a minute, that's it.

The manger.

The what?

Well, the first Christmas was held in a
stable with the manger, wasn't it? Yes.

Well, we can set up a stable on our new
lot.

Oh, but Mary, our manger ceiling is so
small.

Just give me some two -by -fours and
some willing hands and I'll build one

enough to hold everybody.

Wait a minute, let me get this straight.

Christmas services outside in the cold
without somebody to keep me warm?

Sandra Clark, we ought to clip your
wings.

Listen, everybody, this may be the
Lord's way of getting our attention.

Now, we've been grumbling and
complaining because we don't have our

Christmas. Well, the church isn't brick
and mortar.

The church is us.

That's right. It's not what's inside a
building that counts. It's what's inside

us. Our mistake was thinking we didn't
have a Christmas without a building,

all we really need is us.

I wish I'd said that.

Now, who's going to help me?

I will.

Now you're talking.

I bet we could fix the place up real
cute and have a real authentic old

-fashioned Christmas with a manger.

You know, it is different. And it does
sound like fun.

You know, it does sound like fun.

Sounds cold.

What about me? What can I do to help?

Well, you might round up some muscle men
and give me a hand.

Muscle men? Yeah.

Well, any sacrifice for the church.

Blessed Mary.

God bless you.

An authentic Christmas. What a wonderful
idea.

Now, you see, I knew what I was doing
when I volunteered, Lester.

But you see, I knew what I was doing
when I married him.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not,
for behold, I bring to you

good tidings of great joy, which shall
be to all the people.

For unto you was born this day in the
city of David a Savior, which is Christ

the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you.

Ye shall find the babe wrapped in
swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And there was with the angel a multitude
of the heavenly host, praising God and

saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on
earth peace, goodwill towards men.

That was lovely.

Hey, Lester, there's a policeman here
and he wants to see you.

Me too.

I sure wish I had some hot chocolate.

Me too, with a little something in it.

My dear brothers and sisters, I know it
was cold when you got here, but I sure

am feeling warmer now myself, aren't
you?

There are many people responsible for
this, but I want you to know that it was

Sister Mary Jenkins' idea to have the
pageant here in the manger.

She wouldn't have had to do that if our
brother Lester hadn't lost our church.

Well, what about me, Rad? It was all my
fault.

We're praying for you.

Reverend, may we?

Folks, everyone, they found our church.

They moved it over to where they're
going to place a big hamburger stand.

But we'll have our church just as soon
as they can move it over here where it

belongs. But the officer assured Lester
that our church looks glorious standing

there behind those golden arches.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

We wish you a merry Christmas. We wish
you a merry Christmas.

We wish you a merry Christmas.

And a happy new year.

Everything just worked out so well,
didn't it? Oh, it sure did. This was the

best Christmas ever.

Lester, you think you can make the same?
mistake next year.

Hey, look, it's snowing.

Thank you, Lord.

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