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- Back to "American Negro Warrior."
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When we last left, Tequan Jackson was stopped
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and frisked, tased four times, and hit with batons.
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Question now is, will Tequan make it back
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to the basketball court for a highly contested
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game of 21?
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- I don't think Tequan gonna make it.
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- Tequan is a real ass G.
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He trained in Ferguson. - I meant make it in life.
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- Hello brothers,
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and I mean that in the literal sense,
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As you are both brothers in the light of the Most High
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and from the seed of my loins.
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- Thanks bruh, but we don't want no bean pies
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or Final Calls, my nig.
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What the fuck? - Oh, good, it still works.
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Although I am a member in good standing
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of the Fruit of Jehovah, this is not a Final Call.
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This is the first of many calls
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to the place I call "home."
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- Malik, what is this dude talking about?
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You know I don't speak Farrakhonics.
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- From his calm demeanor, strong disposition,
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and sparkling white teeth,
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I'd say he's dropping knowledge.
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He's a righteous black man who knows his place
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in this wicked society.
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We should honor his presence. - Yes!
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From the lips of babes comes the truth in its purest form.
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- Man, who the fuck is at the front door,
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using all those syllables and fucking up my high?
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Oh, shit, you?
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Man, what you even doing here?
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- You know this dude? - Man, know him?
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We used to swim in this nigga's nut sacks, remember?
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This is Marvin.
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Our daddy.
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- So Dad, how did you end up in prison?
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- You guys are old enough to know the truth.
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This is a wicked, racist world we live in.
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Your poor father fell victim to "the man."
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There I was, on a righteous journey
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to the Piggly Wiggly to fetch sustenance for you two,
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and diapers for Michael.
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Whoo!
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Goddamn!
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- What are you looking at? - What you looking at?
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Mind your business.
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- Uh, you're gonna pay us, right?
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- Not for a half done job. You have to complete it.
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- Well, I'm almost done, so...
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- Oh, shit, the cops!
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Quick, put this dope in your purse.
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- Fuck that!
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Good evening, Officer.
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How may I help thee?
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They locked me up for seven long years.
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I prayed and prayed that Montrel, Grover,
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and you, Malachi, would be okay.
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- Man, nigga, fuck all that ying yang.
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What you even doing here? You want some money?
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'Cause if you do, you can kick rocks.
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But not in them Pro-Keds though,
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'cause them joints is nice!
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- Calm that nostril flare, son, and just know that
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when I use the term "lost," I mean it
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in the spiritual sense, not the physical.
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- Well, I say this in the physical sense--
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you can lose this dick in your mouth.
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- Hold on, Montrel.
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Let's hear our father out.
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- That ain't my pappy.
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That's y'all's daddy.
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- I'm your father, nigga, damn!
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I'm sorry, I lost my temper.
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That was the old me.
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I've sworn off white drugs,
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white meat, and white women.
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I'm a new man now,
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Marvin Chaka Khan Khaled.
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So I must now ask,
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do I get another chance with you guys?
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- Did Biggie give a nigga one more chance?
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Hell naw. - I agree with Montrel.
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You can't just come in here, feed us some bullshit,
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and expect us to believe you.
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Who you think you is, the President?
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- Didn't you guys hear him? He didn't just leave.
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He was a pawn in the white man's war against the original man.
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Show some respect. He gave us life.
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- Thank you, son.
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Now where's my room, Marmaduke?
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- Yo, check this new app I found called Tugfinder.
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Peep game.
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- These looks like Korean spas.
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- That's what they want you to think, but trust me,
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they be beatin' nines in the back.
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Let's go tomorrow after practice.
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- I can't, my dad said I got to get home
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to do my chores and homework.
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- Man, forget that clown.
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Everybody know illegitimate bastard kids is the GOAT.
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Allen Iverson, T.O., Jordan on his last three rings.
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- Yeah, but kids with both parents win championships,
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like Steph Curry, Klay Thompson,
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and Jordan on his first three rings.
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Black dads are an endangered species.
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Don't throw one away, my nig. - Maybe you're right, Jamal.
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Plus, it would be nice to have a real dad instead of my iDad.
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- Have a good day at school, son.
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And remember, iDad loves you, Grover.
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- And this is where all the magic happens.
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And by "magic," I mean making white people's money disappear.
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- Oh, that's yo daddy?
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He look like Malcolm X in Pro-Keds.
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They nice, though.
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- That bow tie is pretty spiffy, though.
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I thought only fancy gay men wore bow ties.
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Is your daddy fancy, Malik?
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- I am heterosexual through and through,
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my Asian and Latino impish devils.
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Malik, you're not in school, son?
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- Like I said, why would I be a part of the oppressor's
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educational system and learn his-story instead of our-story?
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Naw, man. I'd rather get my paper.
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- That's my son!
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Poison them devils!
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- Hey, you got that work?
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- You want to take this one, Dad?
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- Sell drugs and watch the white devils mire in addiction?
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It would be my honor.
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Give me them drugs.
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What's your pleasure, peckerwood?
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- That's my dad.
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- Back to "American Negro Warrior."
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- I got it!
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- Oh no, no, no, we're not gonna
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spend the afternoon on our asses.
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- Man, what's your daddy talking about?
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- There are going to be some changes around here.
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You both are going to clean the kitchen.
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- I ain't cleaning shit.
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And what you 'bout to do with that?
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- Beat the breaks off you!
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- Oh, shit, he ain't playing.
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- Man, this some bullshit.
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- Man, this is hard work.
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But in a weird way, I kind of like it.
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Mama always working, so it's good to have
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a responsible man in the house besides Malik
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to teach us how to be men.
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- Fuck that responsible motherfucker.
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When he go to sleep,
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I'm fucking him up.
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- You missed a spot.
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You better not let Daddy see.
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- Man, ain't nobody scared of your daddy.
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Over here, doing all this stuff.
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Man, act like a maid.
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- Annyeong! - This the spot.
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The app say to ask for "Feng Shui."
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Say here she got three out of four squirts.
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- Hello, gentlemen.
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How may I do you? - Yo, we here to see Feng Shui.
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- Oh, very sorry, but Feng Shui not here now.
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She come in later.
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You welcome to stay and have lovely treatments
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until she come here.
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- They do got some decent side orders here, doe.
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I could use a belly-button flush.
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And they use real buttermilks.
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- I am kind of tense, and Feng Shui ain't even here
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yet to jerk on my hammer.
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How long 'til she get here?
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Not long, few minutes at most.
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- I say we do this. - A'ight, den.
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But she better hurry, my nine crowning.
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- Air ball. You suck.
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You ain't never gonna be league. - What?
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- Unless you open thine ears and listen to me.
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- Damn, you can teach me to shoot like that?
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- I taught that sorry-ass brother of yours.
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I can definitely teach you.
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- Montrel sucked? - Did he!
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Ugh! Get that shit out of here!
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- Man, that was a foul! - Stop crying, nigga!
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That wasn't a foul-- your face is part of the ball.
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- Man, I quit. - You can't quit.
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We had a bet-- I win, I don't have to
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buy you nothing for Christmas.
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Ball up! Let's go!
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- Ugh!
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All right, that's no Christmas.
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Again.
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If I can make him good, I can definitely make you league.
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- Thanks.
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That's what I've always wanted...
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Dad. - Who?
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Oh, me, right.
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Yeah, don't mention it, son.
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You get what you want, and I get what I want.
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- You say you played ball with Marvin?
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And you, you was slinging rocks with his ass?
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Man, I can't believe y'all falling for this shit.
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I'm telling you, y'all daddy is up to something.
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- Our father, Montrel.
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And maybe he just learned the error of his ways
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and truly yearns for the love of his sons.
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- Man, y'all weak.
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I'mma go smoke this new strain called,
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"Y'alls Daddy Ain't Shit."
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- Maybe it ain't him that's the problem.
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Maybe it's you.
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- Oh, shit.
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Y'all really think I want Marvin's attention?
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Like I was some abandoned nigga sittin' at home,
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lookin' out the window, two tears in my right eye,
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one tear in the left, waiting for him
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to come home from "work" with an ice cream cake
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to celebrate my birthday?
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Naw son, that wasn't me.
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I was good.
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I was good!
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- Ooh, that feels good!
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- You like? I do more for $7 more.
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- I'll pay, I'll pay!
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- Yo, this feel good and all,
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but I'm wondering what's taking P.F. Chang so long.
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We been here, like, two hours.
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- Just chill out and enjoy the foreplay.
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I'mma be so relaxed for the game tonight.
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- I ain't come here to get my back relaxed.
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I came to get my sack relaxed.
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both: Bars!
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- Oh see, yeah, that feel kinda good.
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- Circle the drain, $50 more. - I'll pay.
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You got my ass all out here in the open.
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Ooh--oh!
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Oh.
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- So, Feng Shui never took care of y'all?
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- Nope.
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Cost me $72 and my nine is harder than poverty.
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- Yeah, but they got a happy hour,
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happy ending special tomorrow.
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You finna join this Groupon, Gropeon, Grover?
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- Naw, my dad says I should never jerk on game day.
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- Like you gonna get off the bench.
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- Hey, you bald asshole, put my son in the game!
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- Would you shut the hell up and let me coach
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the motherfucking game the way I coach,
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you loud-mouth motherfucker?
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- You're losing by ten, Gregg Popabitch!
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- Aye, peep game.
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One of them Frere Jacques niggs is about to
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get into it with Coach Bundy.
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- That's my dad.
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- If you put Grover in the game, it might help,
258
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:36,800
you hard-headed bastard!
259
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,167
You know he got game, and you need somebody
260
00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:41,267
who can play above the rim.
261
00:09:41,267 --> 00:09:43,267
Some say he's just like Mike.
262
00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:45,667
White men can't jump, but Grover can.
263
00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:48,467
Where is your Celtic pride?
264
00:09:48,467 --> 00:09:49,900
- Are you done, motherfucker?
265
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:52,067
"Hoosiers," "Space Jam," "Cornbread, Earl and Me."
266
00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:53,300
Now I'm done.
267
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:54,900
Oh, and "The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh."
268
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:56,867
- Damn, G! Your pops is for real.
269
00:09:56,867 --> 00:09:59,067
He got room for another black kid like me?
270
00:09:59,067 --> 00:10:00,367
- We don't take walk-ons.
271
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,200
You got to get drafted by your own father.
272
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,667
- Okay, you really want to see how bad yo son sucks?
273
00:10:04,667 --> 00:10:07,867
All right Grover, get yo ass in the game so I can show yo daddy
274
00:10:07,867 --> 00:10:09,733
why I never put yo ass in the game.
275
00:10:09,733 --> 00:10:11,867
both: What?
276
00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:13,367
- Man, what the fuck?
277
00:10:13,367 --> 00:10:15,133
- Now that's what I'm talking about!
278
00:10:24,533 --> 00:10:26,500
- Yeah! - Yeah, my nig!
279
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,500
Ah!
280
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:31,367
- Aye, I'mma go ahead and say it,
281
00:10:31,367 --> 00:10:33,100
I think yo daddy is proud of your brother
282
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,433
and only your brother.
283
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:36,033
How you feel about that, cuh?
284
00:10:36,033 --> 00:10:38,400
- Man, eat a dick. - Aye, don't get mad at me.
285
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,400
My dad here to support me, cuh.
286
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,767
- It's been real nice catching up with you, son.
287
00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:47,900
- Well, at least we're making up for lost time now.
288
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:48,967
- Exactly.
289
00:10:48,967 --> 00:10:50,900
I'm glad you feel that way, son.
290
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,333
'Cause I really think we sh--
291
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:54,700
Goddamn!
292
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:56,933
Look at that white girl with all that ass!
293
00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:58,800
Uh, oh, I'm sorry.
294
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,533
I think we could truly make up for lost time
295
00:11:01,533 --> 00:11:03,333
if you lived closer to me.
296
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:04,733
- Like move in with you?
297
00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:07,700
- A boy your age needs his father in his life.
298
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:11,800
Why don't you think about it while buying the new Shackles?
299
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,233
They got the new Kintes.
300
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,167
Hey, baby. It won't be long now.
301
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:18,667
I took him out for some ice cream,
302
00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:21,533
and when he comes to live with us, we'll be set.
303
00:11:29,533 --> 00:11:30,833
Oh, that was nice.
304
00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:32,500
Boy, you looked like that Iguodala player
305
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:33,667
for Golden State.
306
00:11:33,667 --> 00:11:35,167
Next time, what you gonna do, son?
307
00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:37,600
- I'm gonna dunk! - That's my boy.
308
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,133
- Man, this shit is all wrong.
309
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,300
- What you mean, Montrel? - I mean him.
310
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,067
- Grover, you go on and go to bed.
311
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:44,167
- Okay, Dad.
312
00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:45,733
Are you gonna come tuck me in?
313
00:11:45,733 --> 00:11:47,367
- Tuck you in? Where they do that at?
314
00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:49,400
- My bad, got a little carried away.
315
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,433
Please don't leave me again.
316
00:11:51,433 --> 00:11:53,333
- What's wrong with your bitch ass now?
317
00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:55,400
You can't be happy for your little brother?
318
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:56,567
- Oh, I'm happy for him.
319
00:11:56,567 --> 00:11:58,433
I just want to know...
320
00:11:58,433 --> 00:12:00,267
how come you don't want me, man?
321
00:12:00,267 --> 00:12:01,700
- Oh, hell.
322
00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:03,867
- Did you ever stop to think of what I might've become
323
00:12:03,867 --> 00:12:05,567
if I had my daddy in my life?
324
00:12:05,567 --> 00:12:08,067
- Probably wouldn't be a bitch ass momma's boy.
325
00:12:09,967 --> 00:12:12,133
- Man, hold up, nigga, stop laughing at me.
326
00:12:12,133 --> 00:12:13,367
Can't you see I'm in pain?
327
00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:14,567
- What you just call me?
328
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,233
Take yo ass outside and get me a switch.
329
00:12:16,233 --> 00:12:17,700
- Nigga, for what?
330
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:20,133
- You think I'm just gonna stand here and let you call me
331
00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:22,533
an n-word while you crying with snot and shit
332
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,867
running out of your nose?
333
00:12:23,867 --> 00:12:26,067
Go and get me a switch now and it better not
334
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:27,100
be a little one, neither.
335
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,500
Ain't gonna make me a-- this sorry ass, bitch made...
336
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:38,133
Daddy!
337
00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:42,600
- You all right?
338
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,400
- Didn't you see Marvin whoop my ass?
339
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,733
Hell naw, I'm not alright.
340
00:12:45,733 --> 00:12:47,533
- Real talk, you deserved it.
341
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:48,700
He just wants the best for us.
342
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,133
- Well, he should want me, then.
343
00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:51,133
I am the best.
344
00:12:51,133 --> 00:12:52,800
Better than you sorry bastards.
345
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,667
- Stop being a hater and face the facts.
346
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:57,100
He's our daddy, and he's gonna be around,
347
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,467
so you better get used to it.
348
00:12:58,467 --> 00:13:00,433
- Man, I ain't got to get used to shit.
349
00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:02,300
Once Shea remember where he left his gun,
350
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:04,167
we gonna run his bitch ass up out of here.
351
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:05,933
You ain't never gonna see him again.
352
00:13:05,933 --> 00:13:08,233
- You got to get through me to get to dad.
353
00:13:08,233 --> 00:13:10,433
- Man, first of all, I will fuck you up.
354
00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:12,233
- I guess you got to fuck me up then.
355
00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:15,100
- Man, after everything I've done for you, you choose him?
356
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,167
That's cool, you can choose him all you want.
357
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:18,267
He ain't living here.
358
00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:19,800
- Fine, neither am I.
359
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,667
- Man, where the hell you think you goin'?
360
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,533
- To live with Dad at his other house.
361
00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:25,100
I'm out of here.
362
00:13:26,133 --> 00:13:28,067
- Aye, cuh, found my gun.
363
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:29,800
Oh shit, this ain't mine.
364
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,333
This my momma's. I'll be back.
365
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:40,233
- Aye, what's up, cuh?
366
00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:41,633
You can't come out and play?
367
00:13:41,633 --> 00:13:42,867
- Man, I'm on punishment.
368
00:13:42,867 --> 00:13:44,733
Marvin said I gots to stay in my room
369
00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:46,500
"until otherwise notified."
370
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:47,667
Ain't that some shit?
371
00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:50,100
- Damn, you got it bad like Usher, cuh.
372
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,300
- Man, I can't let shit go down like this.
373
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:53,867
Marvin is up to some shit.
374
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:57,767
- Montrel! Ain't no toilet paper!
375
00:13:57,767 --> 00:13:59,667
Get me some napkins and my phone!
376
00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:02,500
There's a civil unrest in my colon.
377
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:04,467
I'm gonna be here for a minute.
378
00:14:08,633 --> 00:14:10,100
- What the fuck?
379
00:14:12,767 --> 00:14:13,767
- Oh, okay, den.
380
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:19,267
- These fish better not have no dicks, or this might be gay.
381
00:14:19,267 --> 00:14:22,833
- Well, if it feel this good nibbling on my toes...
382
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,833
- Way ahead of you, my nig.
383
00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:29,733
If this shit is gay, you can call me Frank Ocean.
384
00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:32,433
- This shit's nice.
385
00:14:32,433 --> 00:14:34,300
Dick eating fish is the GOAT.
386
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:37,200
- Oh shit, one's getting frisky.
387
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,500
Aye, no means no, little fish.
388
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,100
Easy with them teeth.
389
00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:44,467
Ah, I think they're trying to swim up stream, my nig.
390
00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:49,367
He's in there!
391
00:14:49,367 --> 00:14:50,733
He's in there.
392
00:14:50,733 --> 00:14:52,867
He's swimming around in my bladder!
393
00:14:52,867 --> 00:14:54,200
Suck it out, Milk!
394
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,233
Milk! Milk, suck it out!
395
00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:58,600
- Man, I knew it!
396
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,233
This dude still around here, fucking around
397
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,533
with these white bitches, Shea.
398
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,467
- Aye, me too, cuh. Let me see.
399
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,800
Oh shit, she got a ring on her finger...
400
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,067
and her areolas.
401
00:15:07,067 --> 00:15:08,767
I'm finna send her a dick pic, cuh.
402
00:15:09,933 --> 00:15:12,633
Oh, shit. They got a family too, cuh.
403
00:15:12,633 --> 00:15:14,667
- Oh word, let me see.
404
00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:16,067
- Why he want to ruin all this shit
405
00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:17,467
by bringing Grover in there?
406
00:15:17,467 --> 00:15:19,400
- Man, I don't know, but I'm about to find out.
407
00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:24,967
- Damn boy, you scared the shit out of me.
408
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,167
Thank you.
409
00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:28,067
- What the fuck is up with this white bitch
410
00:15:28,067 --> 00:15:29,800
and these little high yellow half breeds?
411
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,067
This yo family, ain't it?
412
00:15:31,067 --> 00:15:32,233
- They're beautiful ain't they,
413
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:33,667
you nosey motherfucker?
414
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:35,800
Now give me the toilet paper. - Aye, aye, not so fast.
415
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,267
You tell me what you're up to,
416
00:15:37,267 --> 00:15:39,133
and then I'll let you wipe your ass.
417
00:15:39,133 --> 00:15:41,367
- Okay, stop fucking around.
418
00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:42,600
Give me the tissue, and wet it.
419
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,867
My ass is really starting to itch.
420
00:15:44,867 --> 00:15:46,133
- Oh, for real?
421
00:15:46,133 --> 00:15:47,567
You gonna have one itchy ass
422
00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:49,167
if you don't tell me what you up to.
423
00:15:49,167 --> 00:15:51,767
- Stop playin' son, and give me the goddamn tissue.
424
00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:54,067
- Either you come clean, or you leave shitty.
425
00:15:54,067 --> 00:15:56,367
You know you get hemorrhoids that way, right?
426
00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:58,100
- All right fine, here's the deal.
427
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:00,500
This fancy private school for white kids
428
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,433
needs a black kid for the brochures.
429
00:16:02,433 --> 00:16:04,733
They had an enrollment special, bring a black kid,
430
00:16:04,733 --> 00:16:06,367
siblings get in free.
431
00:16:06,367 --> 00:16:07,533
Grover's black.
432
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,300
Do I have to spell it out for you?
433
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:10,933
My ass is on fire.
434
00:16:10,933 --> 00:16:12,767
Give me the goddamn toilet paper nigga, damn!
435
00:16:12,767 --> 00:16:14,500
- Aye, man, you ain't changed.
436
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,400
Man, you don't give a shit about Grover.
437
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,100
And he ain't movin' in with you.
438
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,500
I'm not gonna let you hurt them like you hurt me.
439
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,267
- Well, tell Grover and Metamucil the truth.
440
00:16:23,267 --> 00:16:25,367
I'll leave and you'll break their hearts.
441
00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:26,867
- Or we can play for Grover.
442
00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:28,333
One-on-one, me and you.
443
00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:30,267
You win, you can have Grover,
444
00:16:30,267 --> 00:16:32,533
I win, you never come back here again.
445
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,067
- You, beat me?
446
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:36,800
I must've spanked you too hard, you got brain damage.
447
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,067
- Yeah, we'll see.
448
00:16:38,067 --> 00:16:40,400
Bring ya ass. And wipe it first.
449
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,500
Nigga.
450
00:16:42,733 --> 00:16:45,067
- I been here all day yesterday and today
451
00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:46,700
and my baby sack is still full.
452
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:50,267
- I actually am very relaxed, but it would be nice
453
00:16:50,267 --> 00:16:52,167
to go home a squirt load lighter.
454
00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:54,933
- That said, where in the fuck is Feng Shui?
455
00:16:54,933 --> 00:16:56,800
- I here, gentlemen.
456
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:05,233
I ready to tug out all your stress, your pain, your ills,
457
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:08,067
until you reach the heights of pleasure.
458
00:17:08,067 --> 00:17:09,433
- That's what I'm talking about!
459
00:17:09,433 --> 00:17:12,100
- All right, let's get started.
460
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:15,467
- My God, she's about to do it, my nig.
461
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:18,100
It's about to happen.
462
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:19,800
- Stay calm, my dude.
463
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:38,833
- Thank you.
464
00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:41,267
- Come back here! You spray, you pay!
465
00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:43,467
And come get this fish.
466
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,400
- Oh, you finally showed up.
467
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,167
I should've whooped yo ass for making mine itch.
468
00:17:52,167 --> 00:17:53,967
- Man, shut up, bitch, and let's play.
469
00:17:53,967 --> 00:17:55,367
- Ain't no bitch in me.
470
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:56,633
Check ball, bastard.
471
00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:58,467
- Aye, wait a second. I got a daddy.
472
00:17:58,467 --> 00:18:00,167
- Not after this game, you won't.
473
00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:01,867
Firs to 11 wins.
474
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,233
You still ain't shit, boy.
475
00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:09,967
That's one. - Man, yo ball.
476
00:18:09,967 --> 00:18:11,567
- Last time you gonna touch it, nigga.
477
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:40,400
- Just like old times, huh?
478
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,067
I got the ball and you still ain't gonna get no Christmas.
479
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:44,300
Where's the D?
480
00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:45,900
- You'd do anything for your white kids,
481
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,700
well, I'll do anything for your black kids.
482
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,067
Give me that!
483
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:52,067
- Goddamn!
484
00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:54,367
All right, okay, all right, I see you.
485
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,633
Sizing me up, huh?
486
00:18:55,633 --> 00:18:57,467
But know this, whether you make this shot
487
00:18:57,467 --> 00:18:59,067
or not, I'm you, son.
488
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:00,300
And you're me.
489
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:01,333
- Aye, you ain't my daddy.
490
00:19:06,567 --> 00:19:07,767
Ah!
491
00:19:07,767 --> 00:19:10,167
Game, nigga!
492
00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:13,067
Aye, and this year, there will be a Christmas.
493
00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:14,900
- What you gonna tell Grover and Montezuma?
494
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,100
- Oh, I'll think of something.
495
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,700
And his name is Malik,
496
00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:19,567
and he's my real father.
497
00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:24,900
- That's kind of fucked up, but all right.
498
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:28,500
- I'm telling you, Grover, the rub and tug was no joke.
499
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:32,433
Yeah, uh, you know her carpal tunnel started acting up so,
500
00:19:32,433 --> 00:19:34,800
um, she started using her feet.
501
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,867
And then she gave me the Draymond Green.
502
00:19:36,867 --> 00:19:38,300
- What's the Draymond Green?
503
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:40,200
- Uh, that's when she lay on her back,
504
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,867
and she, uh, punch and kick you in the dick until you shoot.
505
00:19:42,867 --> 00:19:44,067
- That sounds flagrant.
506
00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:45,433
I don't know about the Draymond,
507
00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:46,800
but I'm down for that foot action.
508
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,133
Let's go tomorrow.
509
00:19:48,133 --> 00:19:49,833
- Uh, can't go back in there ever again.
510
00:19:49,833 --> 00:19:51,067
Nope. - Why?
511
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:52,733
- They had a tuggin' out of business sale.
512
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,433
They liquidated the whole nine.
513
00:19:54,433 --> 00:19:56,133
- You should've came, Grover.
514
00:19:56,133 --> 00:19:57,700
Like we did. - Yup.
515
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:58,700
- Oh, that's cool.
516
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:00,000
I guess I'll tell you now.
517
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,800
I'm about to move in with my dad.
518
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,033
- Aye, you ain't goin' nowhere.
519
00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:04,767
I killed yo daddy. - What?
520
00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:06,033
- Uh, uh, uh...
521
00:20:06,033 --> 00:20:09,100
I mean--I mean, uh, he killed that interview
522
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:10,467
for this job he got.
523
00:20:10,467 --> 00:20:12,233
Yeah, it's a job coaching
524
00:20:12,233 --> 00:20:14,000
the Coney Island White Fish in Iraq.
525
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,267
- I've never heard of them.
526
00:20:15,267 --> 00:20:17,167
- They an expansion team in the Middle East.
527
00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:18,467
Mission finally accomplished.
528
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:19,600
- Wait a minute,
529
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,567
he just left us without saying good-bye?
530
00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:23,200
- Well, he did leave you this.
531
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,500
Christmas came early.
532
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:26,467
He said for you to buy whatever you want.
533
00:20:26,467 --> 00:20:29,100
But he in the Middle East, so they may cut it off soon.
534
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:31,433
You might want to use it in the next few hours.
535
00:20:31,433 --> 00:20:32,900
- You got to admit, Montrel.
536
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,700
You were wrong. Our dad's the GOAT.
537
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,733
- Yeah, your father's a'ight.
538
00:20:36,733 --> 00:20:37,867
Why it smell like fish?
539
00:20:37,867 --> 00:20:40,633
- Uh, we should get out of here.
540
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,400
- So he bounced again, huh? - How'd you know?
541
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,600
- Because there ain't no Coney Island in the Middle East.
542
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,500
- It's in the middle of the East Coast, doe.
543
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,033
- I know it hurts, son.
544
00:20:53,033 --> 00:20:55,100
Tell you what, how 'bout I take you out for some ice cream?
545
00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:56,400
- Oh, with sprinkles?
546
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,933
- Did you clean your room, Montrel?
547
00:20:57,933 --> 00:20:59,267
- Aw man, shit.
39732
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