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- Okay, everybody, Dave will be here any moment.
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Any of you underage kids need a drink to loosen up?
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I'll go first!
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- Damn, Milk, a surprise party
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for Mark-Ass Uncle Joey?
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This just confirms how white you really is.
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- And da buffet whack too.
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Sad to say, but ya moms a Double D-Lister in the kitchen.
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But good thing y'all stay with da Cock Sauce.
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- Man, how come y'all always raggin' on me?
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- 'Cause you always forcing us to go to shit
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we don't wanna go to. - And you're white.
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- No I isn't. - A'ight, Milk,
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if you part black, then prove it.
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Take this Cock Sauce to the dome.
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- Ain't no thang but some Burger Kang.
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- I should probably film this, you know,
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for your "30 for 30."
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- Everybody, he's here! He's here!
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all: Surprise!
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Milton!
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I've got Cock Sauce in my eyes!
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It burns! I am gonna kill you, Milton!
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- Got you motherfucker.
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- What?
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- Calm down, Dave, it's your birthday.
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- Exactly! You should be the one
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covered in Cock Sauce, not me.
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- It was an accident.
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- Accident my ass.
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The problem is he doesn't respect me.
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He still calls me Uncle Joey.
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My name is Dave!
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- Shut the fuck up, Uncle Joey!
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- You see what I'm talking about?
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I can't take this anymore.
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- You know what? You're right.
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I've tried, but you two just can't get along.
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- Maybe we should just end this.
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Divorce?!
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- Hell jeah! Finally!
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- I can fix this, Hunny Buns.
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I got my camping trip with my buddies coming up.
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I'll take Milton with me
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and we'll do some father-son bonding.
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- Fine, Dave. Sounds great.
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And if it doesn't work out...
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Deuces.
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- We still going to Hoechella this weekend?
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- Yup, I already got the Jamallies on deck.
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I finally got the recipe right.
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- I can't go, my nigs. Aah!
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My moms making me go camping with Uncle Joey
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old bitch-ass, mark-ass.
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- Camping? Just tell that nig you going with us instead.
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- Can't. My mom said we gonna divorce him
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if we don't work out our issues.
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So you already know what I'm about to do.
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Fuck...shit...up.
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How about that? - Have fun with that.
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Ain't no way we gonna pass up these flower crowns
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with daddy issues. - Nice try, buster.
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Without me paying, how y'all getting into Hoechella?
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- Damn, my nigs.
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Nature is boringer than a motherfucker.
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- This why our people only camp out
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for some old, new Jordans.
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- Well, boys, this'll be a good weekend.
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Roasting marshmallows,
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telling stories over the campfire,
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a little cosplay.
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- Shut yo ass up, Uncle Joey.
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I ain't with all that Bill-cosplay, homey.
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I'm keeping my cheeks intact.
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- What the hell is cosplay?
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Da fu--
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- Now this is cosplay. Suit up, my homeboys.
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- Doctor, his blood pressure's dropping faster
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than our ratings. - Well, mine's rising
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and I'ma kill your bitch ass if this man dies.
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That's just my creative juices
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flowing, Cookie mane. Gon' take a little more
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than diabetes, sickle-cell, and Trump to stop
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old Lucious Lyon and his music.
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- Aye, this "Empire" shit relatable, ca.
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- We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming
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to bring you this nonsense from City Hall.
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- I'm here today to address the latest Chamberlain Heights
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Police shooting of an allegedly unarmed black man.
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- Get your hands up!
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He's resisting!
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- According to reports from the arresting officers,
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it was dark and the man appeared to be reaching
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for a shiny object with his shoulders.
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The officers will be placed on fully-paid,
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administrative leave.
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- Damn, sounds more like a paid vacation to me.
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- That's what's up. Imagine if on every job
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you shot a motherfucker, they paid you to stay home.
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Shit, I'd go back to teaching pre-school.
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- Aye, yo, you might be onto something.
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Shit, maybe I'll become a cop.
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- A pig? You? - Yup.
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All I gots to do is shoot a nigga
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and then book me a nice-ass paycation.
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- Aye, caa, you lie down with pigs,
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you wake up bacon.
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Shit, I wake up bakin' every day.
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- This some fucked up shit.
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How y'all gonna have a costume party with no breezys?
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- WE could call a few dimes and have our own
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Hoechella right here. - I can call Medina.
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- I said dime, not Olympic medals.
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- Holy shit, Dave.
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I see you brought some color to the proceedings.
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- Come on, guys, they're Milton's friends.
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I'm just trying to keep Hunny satisfied.
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Happy wife, happy life.
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- Well, they're certainly gonna add some authenticity.
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- And we're not even paying them?
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Very period appropriate.
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Hate off to the master. See what I did there?
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- Good news, you passed the exam.
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Bad news, you failed the drug test.
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- Oh, word.
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I guess it's back to funemployment then.
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- Hold on now. Luckily for you,
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we're desperate to increase diversity
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and add a little color to the force
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to make the community feel safer.
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- That's real talk, though.
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- So tell me, son, why do you wanna be
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one of Chamberlain Heights' finest?
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- I wanna shoot a nigga. - Bingo! You're hired!
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Here's your gun, here's your badge,
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here's your mustache.
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Now go make America great again.
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- I'ma get you, boy.
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- Yo, this shit suck like some socially conscious rap.
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- Yeah, if you want my money, you best mumble some shit.
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I ain't mad at the buffet, though.
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This swine is fine and divine.
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- Like Amber Rose behind. both: Bars.
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Yo, check it.
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I never heard of this game "Runaway,"
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but I'm making a grip of reparations.
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- God damn it, Grover, you won again.
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You'd have fetched top-dollar back in the day.
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- Okay, mount up.
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The reenactment of the Battle of Funkstown is commencing.
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- Whoa. - What the fuck?
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- Why you hoisting that racist rag, Uncle Joey?
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I thought they outlawed that shit.
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- Don't be ridiculous. It's not racist.
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During the Civil War, it represented the South's fight
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for freedom from Northern oppression.
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This flag's about pride, not prejudice.
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- You mean like pride in owning slaves?
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- Say word? That's why they fought the Civil War?
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- Well, what did you guys think it was about?
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- What all fights are about:
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somebody was talking shit on Twitter.
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- Look, it doesn't matter
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because this is the flag they flew
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and everything needs to be 100% authentic.
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Come on, let's take the General Lee Trevino.
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- I don't know about y'all, but I ain't finna just
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stand here and let Uncle Joey celebrate his "prejudicismses."
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- We need to teach these racists bastards a lesson.
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- What y'all trying to do? - Let's fuck some shit up
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so I can get Uncle Joey's bitch ass outta my life
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and get a real dad, like Birdman.
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both:
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- Milton! - Get those niggers.
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- Thanks for noticing. Appreciate you.
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- Come on, guys, come back here. - Holy shit.
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- Aw, shit and stuff. Here come uno time.
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- Good afternoon, Officer.
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Would you care to purchase a chocolate bar?
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Everybody knows the only bars
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your slangin' out here in Xanax.
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Now spread 'em. - Come on, Officer,
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I mean, maybe we can work something out.
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- Hmm. Be a good lad and polish my tallywhacker?
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- Is that English? - It means
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suck my dick, nigga, damn.
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- 'Trel?!
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I'm just fucking with you, lil' bro.
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That'd be incest and gay.
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- Hey! Why your brother dressed like 5-0?
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- Man, I ain't dressed like nothing, Broke Chigga.
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I am a cop.
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- Montrel, you cannot just wake up at 3:00 in the afternoon
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and decide to be a police officer.
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- That's why I woke up at 2:15.
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Now gimme my allowance
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so I can get some donuts nigga, damn.
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What it do, my piggas?
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- Today's training day, Officer Cummings.
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- Actually, it's more like training afternoon.
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- Yeah, we had to plant some drugs on minorities
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and the morning kind of got away from us.
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Anyway, get in, Cummings.
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- That's it! I can't...run no more!
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This is stupid, my nigs.
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- Stupid is gettin' lynched by a bunch of cock-federates.
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- It's all just pretend. Can't we just, like,
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tell them we don't wanna play no more?
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- Whatcha gon' say? "Sorry, we was just fuckin'
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with y'all when we burned down y'all camp"?
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- So what should we do?
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- Keep running, Toby.
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- You know, there is a back seat, Cummings.
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- Man, ain't no real one gonna voluntarily
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get in the back of a cop car. - Totally understandable.
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Well, today we'll show you around,
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give you a taste of the business.
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- Starting with a little taste of this.
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Your first lesson.
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- Oh, okay. I feel you. I feel what you talkin' about.
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If I go deep undercover, my failure to use drugs
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could get me killed by a street dealer.
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- No. What?
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No, it makes the day go by a shit ton faster.
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- Oh, word?
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- Maybe we should just split up.
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That's what they do in the movies.
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They ain't after all of us.
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- No, we all brothers in this.
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That's what this war about. No man left behind.
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Damn.
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See how y'all do me dirty?
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- On the streets, you control your smiles and cries
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because that's all you have and nobody can take your smiles.
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Nobody can take...
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Oh!
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- Oh, crap, man, it's the fuzz.
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We gotta hide this shit].
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- Nigga, where they at? Oh, wait...
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We is the fuzz.
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Hey, yo, yo, yo, yo check this out.
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It's a 211 in progress. - Already on it.
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- Hey, what you doing? - Didn't you notice their guns?
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Lesson two: hit the gas and save your ass.
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- Gets me ever time.
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Guy's in real pain right now.
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- You know, I really thought they'd follow Milk.
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- Me, too. They was mad at him, not us.
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I don't think I can run anymore, my nig.
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- Don't worry.
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- We ain't got no choice. We gots to jump.
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- Hell, nah, you know I can't swims.
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- You already know I have
254
00:10:35,033 --> 00:10:37,467
abnormally oxygenated blood cells,
255
00:10:37,467 --> 00:10:39,633
so I'm buoyant as a motherfucker.
256
00:10:39,633 --> 00:10:41,767
Just hang onto me when we hit the water.
257
00:10:51,533 --> 00:10:54,633
- What are you guys waiting for? - Us? You go.
258
00:10:54,633 --> 00:10:56,133
This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't brought
259
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:59,067
"unapproved guests."
260
00:11:00,467 --> 00:11:02,500
We don't have time to stand here bickering.
261
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:05,067
We need to find Milton so that I can save my marriage.
262
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:41,900
- Yo, why Uncle Joey always so angry
263
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:44,900
when he got Hunny's scrumptious tittay
264
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:47,067
waitin' for him at home? - Milk says because
265
00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:49,567
below the waist, he workin' with a raw tater tot.
266
00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:53,600
- I never understood why white guys
267
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,700
are always talking about dicks.
268
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:57,867
- For the same reason we discovered America!
269
00:11:57,867 --> 00:12:00,900
We're curious! You're in so much fake trouble
270
00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:03,700
for messing up our fake war. So where's Milton?
271
00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:06,067
- We split up. - We need to find my stepson.
272
00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:08,267
He's all alone in the woods. What if he's lost?
273
00:12:08,267 --> 00:12:10,233
What if he's hurt? - But I thought you hated
274
00:12:10,233 --> 00:12:12,067
that son of a bitch. - I do,
275
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:13,800
but I know he's alone in the woods.
276
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,400
As much as I want to kill him,
277
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,200
I don't want anything to happen to him.
278
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,067
Hunny will never forgive me and she'll divorce me for sure.
279
00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:23,367
Now let's go find that wigger.
280
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:31,400
- Ah, shit. Mark-ass tree.
281
00:12:33,733 --> 00:12:35,533
Who's there? Uncle Joey?
282
00:12:35,533 --> 00:12:37,633
I mean, bitch-ass Uncle Joey?
283
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:39,600
Come out and fight. I ain't afraid.
284
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,233
I got mad squabbles and if you a pedophile...
285
00:12:42,233 --> 00:12:43,467
I got mad herpes
286
00:12:43,467 --> 00:12:45,400
and my AIDS angry, too, homey.
287
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,700
- What's up, bitch-ass squirrel?
288
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:53,367
You want some? I'm the man up in this bitch.
289
00:12:53,367 --> 00:12:55,200
Who the fuck you think you fucking with?
290
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,633
I run shit around here.
291
00:12:56,633 --> 00:12:58,933
You just live here. Yeah, that's right.
292
00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:00,200
You better run away.
293
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,900
King Kong ain't got shit on me.
294
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,133
Oh, shit! Ugh.
295
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,600
Aah, Uncle Joey, help me!
296
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,533
Oh, Black Jesus, please no!
297
00:13:10,533 --> 00:13:13,067
Ugh.
298
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,833
Oh, you ain't so bad. For a minute I thought
299
00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:20,467
you was finna...
300
00:13:30,233 --> 00:13:31,600
- Here, give this to one of your kids...
301
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:35,067
that you know about and acknowledge...
302
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:38,067
and take a fatherly role in their life.
303
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,367
- Cool. Cool. It's been a fun day,
304
00:13:40,367 --> 00:13:41,900
but when do I get to shoot a nigga?
305
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,067
You know, get a taste of that paid leave.
306
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:45,867
- You believe this guy? I didn't get my first
307
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:48,467
paycation for three weeks. - It was four for me.
308
00:13:48,467 --> 00:13:50,767
And I'm an early bloomer. Had a hairy dick at nine.
309
00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:53,200
- This generation. Everything has to happen
310
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,700
right now for you millennials.
311
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,967
Okay, you want to shoot someone, you got it.
312
00:13:56,967 --> 00:13:58,633
- Yeah, now that's what I'm talking about.
313
00:13:58,633 --> 00:13:59,900
- All right, we need to go
314
00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:01,333
where there are a lot of black people.
315
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:03,167
We got enough gas in here to get to Detroit?
316
00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:04,367
- No, but we do have enough
317
00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:05,900
to get to the Magic Johnson Theater.
318
00:14:08,567 --> 00:14:10,467
- I can't believe this shit.
319
00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:14,067
Mark-ass bear. It's so not fair. Bars!
320
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:18,633
Motherfucker.
321
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:22,500
- This time, we finish it.
322
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,600
- Guys, this is seriously messed up.
323
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,133
How is this supposed to be fun?
324
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:31,267
- You guys pretending to be Confederates isn't about pride.
325
00:14:31,267 --> 00:14:33,667
You're just some born losers.
326
00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:35,533
- I wasn't gonna let my regiment do anything
327
00:14:35,533 --> 00:14:38,167
to you two before, but now all bets are off.
328
00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:40,533
- Hey, Dave, you gotta come look at this.
329
00:14:40,533 --> 00:14:41,833
- Well, I'll be damned.
330
00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:44,133
Is this a 9/11 reenactment?
331
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,700
- Sure looks that way.
332
00:14:50,133 --> 00:14:52,900
- Destroy our country? Not on my watch.
333
00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:55,100
This time, we go to fake war for real.
334
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,067
- War? - Was somebody talking shit
335
00:14:57,067 --> 00:14:59,300
on Twitter? - It's time for you Niagras
336
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:00,933
to fight for your freedom.
337
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:03,567
- Fight for our freedom? Why does this keep happening?
338
00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:05,267
- God, I hates America.
339
00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:07,533
- Come on, guys, let's roll.
340
00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:09,300
What is wrong with you people?
341
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:11,067
9/11 was a heinous act
342
00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:13,100
and recreating it is not only offensive,
343
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,300
it is also dumb and un-American.
344
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:16,767
- "Dumb and un-American," huh?
345
00:15:16,767 --> 00:15:18,500
Sounds pretty hypocritical from a guy
346
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,600
wearing a Confederate Flag on his uniform.
347
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,567
- Got 'em! - Hey!
348
00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:24,300
If you've got something against America,
349
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:27,533
I'll send you back to whatever Middle Eastern compound
350
00:15:27,533 --> 00:15:29,900
you "Muslames" hide in, okay?
351
00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:32,667
- "Middle Eastern compound"? I'm from Laguna Beach.
352
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:34,400
- Get out of here! I'm from Newport!
353
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,200
- No kidding? East or west?
354
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,767
- Well, shit. You caught me.
355
00:15:37,767 --> 00:15:40,467
I live in Anaheim. - Ain't nothing wrong with that.
356
00:15:40,467 --> 00:15:42,533
Go Halos! - You're American?!
357
00:15:42,533 --> 00:15:43,967
That's even worse.
358
00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:45,700
You're not terrorists, you're traitors.
359
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:48,167
How could you celebrate your own country's ass whooping?
360
00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:50,067
- Apparently, the same way you guys do.
361
00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:52,633
This ass whoopin' brought us together and made us stronger.
362
00:15:52,633 --> 00:15:54,967
- It's insensitive! - Last I checked,
363
00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:56,667
this was still a free country.
364
00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:58,633
- Oh, yeah? Well, fuck your freedom!
365
00:15:58,633 --> 00:16:00,233
- Aah! - Oh, shit.
366
00:16:00,233 --> 00:16:02,067
Uncle Joey American Gansta.
367
00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:05,067
- Yee-haw!
368
00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:12,600
- What're you gonna do with that?
369
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,433
This is a reenactment, stupid.
370
00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:16,500
- Reenactment?
371
00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:21,600
- Man, the Confederates are getting their asses kicked.
372
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,733
- No wonder the South lost, they suck.
373
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,200
- Yeah, they the Hillary Clintons
374
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,333
of the battlefield.
375
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,367
- On your knees, infidels.
376
00:16:30,367 --> 00:16:32,400
- Y'all gonna have to cut my head off
377
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,233
if you want me to suck some dick.
378
00:16:34,233 --> 00:16:36,633
- Mmm, okay.
379
00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:48,400
Yeah, take that, buster, you like that?
380
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,767
Yeah, you want some, too, homey?
381
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:57,100
- Yeah.
382
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,933
- Milton, are you okay? What happened to you?
383
00:17:03,933 --> 00:17:06,067
- I was "Revenated." I'm good, though.
384
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,133
It's not about who touches you inappropriately,
385
00:17:08,133 --> 00:17:10,067
it's what you do after. - What?!
386
00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:13,167
- Uh, uh...didn't nobody's cheeks without consent.
387
00:17:34,867 --> 00:17:37,400
- Noo!
388
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:41,200
- Whoa!
389
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,633
Pull it out! Pull it out! Pull it out!
390
00:17:43,633 --> 00:17:46,133
That wasn't so bad.
391
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:48,567
- Oh, man, that's nasty shit!
392
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,067
- One of you busters do something!
393
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:52,633
Uncle Joey finna bleed to death outta his bitch-ass!
394
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:56,733
- Whoa! Wait a minute!
395
00:17:56,733 --> 00:17:58,967
- Don't worry, Uncle Joey, I got you.
396
00:17:58,967 --> 00:18:01,567
That'll slow the bleeding till we get back to camp.
397
00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:03,367
- Damn, Milk. I gotta admit,
398
00:18:03,367 --> 00:18:05,100
what you just did was pretty league,
399
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:07,567
but why you walkin' so funny? - Uh...
400
00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:11,100
- I can't believe Magic Johnson theaters went tits up.
401
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:12,433
Shit, we just missed last call
402
00:18:12,433 --> 00:18:14,067
at Compton Leroy's too.
403
00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:16,200
Sorry, Cummings, looks like it just ain't your night.
404
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:20,433
- Bingo! Looks like it was your night after all.
405
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,833
- Freeze, nigga!
406
00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:24,467
Shea? - Aye, caa,
407
00:18:24,467 --> 00:18:26,633
you look cold in blue. - Drop the weapon!
408
00:18:26,633 --> 00:18:28,900
- Aye, can a nigga eat his mint chips?
409
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,467
- Stop resisting. - Be careful.
410
00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:32,600
This one has both of his arms.
411
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,600
- He's reaching for something. - Go for it, Cummings!
412
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,267
- Man, he ain't nobody.
413
00:18:36,267 --> 00:18:37,733
- I am somebody, caa.
414
00:18:37,733 --> 00:18:40,133
- Hey, shut up. If you wanna go get some niggas,
415
00:18:40,133 --> 00:18:42,567
I know where we can find a pack of them motherfuckers.
416
00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:45,500
- Come on! Bust your chocolate covered cherry!
417
00:18:46,867 --> 00:18:48,667
- Oh, I see. I knew it was gonna happen
418
00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:51,267
some day, caa. Might as well be you, 'Trel.
419
00:18:51,267 --> 00:18:53,067
Just make sure you keep me hashtaggin'.
420
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:55,133
Crip lives matter, call.
421
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:57,500
- No, they don't, blood. And I think I speak for all cops
422
00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:00,067
everywhere when I say su-wu.
423
00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:01,767
- Coming at you, 'Pac.
424
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,067
- You said you wanted to shoot a nigga,
425
00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:16,533
who'd a thought it'd be you?
426
00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:18,833
- Aye, I had to do it. I couldn't shoot my homey.
427
00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:21,400
You like my family. - Damn, caa, that's deep.
428
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,167
Aye, I gotta tell you somethin', you know that bad one
429
00:19:24,167 --> 00:19:26,667
you had from Diamond Bar? I fucked her, caa.
430
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:28,767
I'm a bad friend. - Man, you did what?!
431
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,600
- Ah, caa.
432
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,800
My Crippin' leg! - That's for fucking my bad one
433
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,067
from Diamond Bar, nigga.
434
00:19:34,067 --> 00:19:34,967
Don't never do that shit again.
435
00:19:34,967 --> 00:19:36,133
- Fair enough, caa.
436
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,067
Aye, can a nigga have some Obamacares?
437
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:41,533
- Damn, my nig, being a slave is hard work.
438
00:19:41,533 --> 00:19:44,667
I don't know how our ancestors did it for 12 years.
439
00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:47,067
- Well, I'm glad you guys got along.
440
00:19:47,067 --> 00:19:48,900
- Yeah, I guess your husband is all right
441
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:51,733
for a mark-ass buster.
442
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:54,600
I'm so happy. And you know what I like to do
443
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,667
when I'm happy?
444
00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:58,933
- Oh! Uh, yeah, about that.
445
00:19:58,933 --> 00:20:01,433
Uh, I don't think I can do that for me for about six weeks.
446
00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:04,367
I'll explain when I get home. Love ya, Hunny Bunny.
447
00:20:04,367 --> 00:20:06,900
So, Milton, how you doing? - I ain't get assaulted!
448
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,767
- What? I wasn't--I--
449
00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:10,700
All right, anyway, I'm glad you're okay.
450
00:20:11,933 --> 00:20:13,833
- Even though you're a mark-ass buster,
451
00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:16,300
I still love your money. Thanks for having my back.
452
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:19,833
- That's what fathers do. We protect the ones we love.
453
00:20:19,833 --> 00:20:22,533
And their kids. - Whoa, pump them brakes,
454
00:20:22,533 --> 00:20:25,733
bitch-ass Dave. No one said you was my daddy.
455
00:20:25,733 --> 00:20:27,367
Yo, why you smiling?
456
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:28,833
- You called me Dave.
457
00:20:28,833 --> 00:20:30,733
- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.
458
00:20:30,733 --> 00:20:34,300
- How cute. Someone loves their stepdad.
459
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,467
- Shut up, buster.
460
00:20:36,467 --> 00:20:39,033
- Aww, look who's got a father in his life.
461
00:20:39,033 --> 00:20:41,833
- Man, y'all take it back. I already killed once today.
462
00:20:41,833 --> 00:20:43,800
- Your mom's gonna be so happy.
463
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:47,100
I can't wait to get home so we can be a "Full House" again.
464
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,933
Come here. Give me a big, ol' bear hug, son.
465
00:20:49,933 --> 00:20:51,900
- No means no! No means no!
466
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:53,967
Man, quit playing, Uncle Joey! You ain't my daddy.
467
00:20:53,967 --> 00:20:55,800
I done told you that man.
34931
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