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1
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- It's that time of year, love birds.
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The annual Shirley Chisholm Dance is coming.
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Remember, boys are not permitted to say no
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if asked to the dance. Happy hunting, beezys.
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- This some ol' bullshit.
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When are men gonna get their way in this country?
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- This what women been fighting for--
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the right to choose.
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And since Randy's out of town,
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Cindy's got no choice but to ask me.
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That's why I wore my Michael Jordan cologne.
12
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Man, that shit stink.
13
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That's why that nig's always crying on the internet.
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Ah! - Now that women can choose,
15
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it's gonna be like the NBA Draft,
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and you know I'ma be a thottery pick.
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- Jamal!
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- Oh, shit. - And it looks like
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you're about to be drafted by the Memphis Grizzlies.
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- I'm taking yo thick ass
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to the Shirley Chisholm Dance, motherfucker.
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- Who the fuck is Shirley Chisholm anyway?
23
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And why does this porn star get her own dance?
24
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- She did the first interracial blowjob.
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She was the Jackie Robinson of porn.
26
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- Okay, first off, y'all are stupid.
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Shirley Chisholm was Secretary of the House Democratic Caucus,
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a member of both the House of Representatives
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and the New York State Assembly.
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She also ran for President.
31
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- Wow, she ran for President and sucked dick for a living?
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Talk about a modern woman. - Anyway, Grover,
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I was gonna go with Randy, but he's wild and out
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at the Nick Cannon Comedy Conference in Delaware.
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And since I don't like any of the other guys in school,
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I was wondering if you weren't busy Saturday night,
37
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if you'd like to...
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- Go to the dance with me? - Huh?
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- Oh, hell nah.
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This must be what Biggie felt like,
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'cause I'm ready to die.
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I can't go to the dance with no crackhead.
43
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- Look on the bright side. Crack creates legends,
44
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like DMX, Lawrence Taylor, and Marion Barry.
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- Shit, Cracky might win a Grammy,
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or she might become the next Mayor of D.C.
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- Well, unless she gonna turn into
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Whitney Houston by Saturday, I'm fucked.
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- I don't wanna go to the dance with you.
50
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- Your body, my choice.
51
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- I wish one of these chicks would come out
52
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and try to body me.
53
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To hell with a Shirley Chisholm Dance.
54
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- Uh, Milk... - Oh, hell no.
55
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- But-- - No, before you even ask...
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ain't no way I'm going to the dance
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with a dickless version of Jamal.
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Now take both of your chocolate boxes, and kick rocks.
59
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- This wigger!
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- I'm telling you,
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it's this whole Shirley Chisholm Dance thing.
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The fact that they get to choose empowers them.
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It's like bears coming out of hibernation,
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and we ain't nothing but some salmon, my nigs.
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- Aye, Griselda, what it smell like?
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- Shit, smell good.
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What them stank balls do?
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- Oh, word, I ain't know you was coming like that.
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You single? - Not no more.
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I'm choosing you to go to the dance with me.
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Now gimme that tongue, nigga.
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Walk me to class. - Okay, then.
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- I thought you said you wasn't gonna let no chick claim you.
74
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- You see that ass, though, my nig?
75
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- Don't you slap my man.
76
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I love this bitch.
77
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- Man, if Milk snagged Griselda,
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I know I'm 'bout to be in there, pimp.
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Peep game.
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You wanna wet dicks and chill? Ah!
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Trying to Hulu and chili? Ah!
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You trying to disappoint your daddy?
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Ah!
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Aye, baby, how 'bout you and I, uh--
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You are fucking hilarious.
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- Damn, I would've fucked her too.
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- Jamal!
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- Aye, your girl's bellowing. Stop fighting it, Jamal.
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You know you going with big drawls.
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- Never that!
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Don't tell anyone I'm in here.
92
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- Just a reminder, guys,
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the Shirley Chisholm Dance is just three days away.
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There are still some available suitors left,
95
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like Jank Eye Jarvis and Jamal.
96
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- Uh, at least I'm going.
97
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,733
- Keep the change. - What up, Cindy?
98
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You find anyone to go to the dance with?
99
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- Not yet. Still deciding.
100
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I have a lot of options.
101
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I got two terabytes of dick pics to sift through.
102
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Oh, great, here's another one.
103
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No, wait, it's just a picture of an uncircumcised pepperoni.
104
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- Be right back. I need more light.
105
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- Too bad you going with Cracky.
106
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It would've been much easier going with you.
107
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We could've had fun.
108
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- So if, uh, Cracky doesn't go to the dance,
109
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does that mean you'll go with me?
110
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- We'll never know, will we?
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See you later, new booty.
112
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- Looks like I'm the only one
113
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that's gonna go to the dance and get some.
114
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But don't worry, Grove, I'll let you smell the nine.
115
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- I don't want Cracky's crack. I want Cindy's.
116
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I guess I gotta go over to her house
117
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and break a crackhead's heart.
118
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- What are you doing? Lipstick doesn't go there.
119
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- I'm just trying to fix myself up.
120
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- Girl, you look like the puppet from "Saw."
121
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- I was going for Lil' Kim.
122
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- The puppet from "Saw" is cuter.
123
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- I know he's only going to the dance with me
124
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'cause he has to. I want him to like me.
125
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- Well, Cracky, that's what makeup, weaves, fake asses,
126
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and non-surgical facelifts are for.
127
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We use that to get the boys interested,
128
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but keeping them is all about what's on the inside.
129
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- On the inside? You mean like Methadone?
130
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- No, girl, I mean your good qualities.
131
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Once what's on the inside gets out,
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Grover can see you for who you really are.
133
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- I'm more than a girl with a pipe dream.
134
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I have a real dream that happens to include a pipe.
135
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Help me, Cindy. - I've got an idea.
136
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I'm gonna give you a makeover.
137
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Let's start with eyebrows, 'cause, girl, you need some.
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Now you're ready.
139
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- 'Bout goddamn time you showed up
140
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with the crack, nigga. - Nah, nah, you got it wrong.
141
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I'm here for Cracky. - Uh, which one?
142
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My wife or my daughter? - I'm hoping your daughter.
143
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- Oh, no, no, no-- I can't sell my daughter.
144
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See, that's what got me locked up the last time.
145
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- Now, Crocodile, I know you didn't sell my grandbaby!
146
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- Oh, Momma, shut up, please!
147
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I'm trying to do business. - Where's the TV?
148
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- I sold the TV, Momma. You know I'm sick!
149
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- Uh, I can come back. - Hold on, Grover!
150
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- Hey, Grover, I see you met my father.
151
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- Damn, Cracky. - Actually, my name is Patricia.
152
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- Oh--
153
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You trying to fuck with my daughter?
154
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See, well, there's rules to that shit.
155
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Rule number one, the first hour is $25.
156
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- Wait, what? - Oh, man, come on now.
157
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Ju-just gimme ten then, baby.
158
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- Crocodile, get yo ass in this house,
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and stop trying to sell the baby.
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- Oh, come on now, Momma.
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You know I'm sick!
162
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- So what did you wanna talk to me about?
163
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We're still going to the dance, right?
164
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- Oh, hell yeah-- we still going to the dance.
165
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As fine as you is, I'm going to be a legend,
166
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and you going to be a legina.
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Selfie.
168
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- Ah! Ah! What the hell?
169
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- So that's what you like? You can have that bitch then.
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Go be with that bitch. Go be with her.
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Be with that bitch. - Who?
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- Ah!
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- Don't play dumb, my nigga.
174
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I seen you thinking about that hoe.
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- Gee whiz, I wasn't. I swear, babe.
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I wasn't thinking of anyone but you.
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- Nuh-uh, nigga.
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You don't think I can read minds?
179
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I can see inside you, motherfucker.
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- Hey, look, I'm real-- - Shut up.
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You make me sick.
182
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- Oh, my God, what is this?
183
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- Keep it. It's a promise blade.
184
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You don't cheat on me,
185
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and I promise I won't cut your motherfucking face off.
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Love ya.
187
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- Uh, what the fuck just happened?
188
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Is you good?
189
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- Oh, she just passionate, homey.
190
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- Damn, girl, you look dope.
191
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- You need help hauling that junk in the trunk?
192
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- Is all this attention for me?
193
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- And me. We the new "it" couple.
194
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Grover and Patricia. But y'all can call us Grotricia.
195
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Uh, guys, this is Cracky, AKA Patricia.
196
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- Uh, hey, fellas.
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- Damn...
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aye, she look good with a shower and a middle tooth.
199
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- I see you, Grove. You got yourself a bad one.
200
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- Oh, man, she look good.
201
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God damn, nigga, you lucky as fuck.
202
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- Now that I got Patricia,
203
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I don't even need to chase after Cindy no more.
204
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Randy can have her. - Good work, Grove.
205
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Welcome to the smash bros.
206
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,200
- Well, what about me? - You can have Rhiyonce.
207
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,067
- She's sloppy as fuck. What happened to her?
208
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- She and Griselda got into it. Rhiyonce had her for a minute,
209
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but you know how passionate Griselda is.
210
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Anyway, enjoy. That mouth still Lebron.
211
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Hey, Big Baby Boo. What you up to?
212
00:08:49,933 --> 00:08:51,833
- Don't you Baby Boo me.
213
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You been hiding ever since they announced
214
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the Shirley Chisholm Dance.
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- Girl, wasn't nobody ducking you.
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You know you my main.
217
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Now go ahead, hurry up, and ask me.
218
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Your mom's gonna need time
219
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to stitch them three dresses together.
220
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- Fuck you, nigga. I'm going with a real man.
221
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- The fuck? I can't believe this.
222
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,133
Mumblemouth? What? - Aye, man, you--
223
00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:14,833
you know you can mumble these nuts in yo mouth?
224
00:09:14,833 --> 00:09:16,100
- That's my job now.
225
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:19,867
Come on, baby. You can mumble in this jungle.
226
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- I used to mumble in her jungle.
227
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It looks like it's just you and me, Rhiyonce.
228
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What the fuck?
229
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- You know the game, boy. Yo bitch chose me.
230
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- Hold on now. Time out.
231
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:39,800
Hey, my name is Jeffery the Referee.
232
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Yeah, I know it rhymes.
233
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So look, my wife and I is on break...
234
00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:47,067
- Damn, even the ref is hollering at yo girl.
235
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- That's what happens when you have a bad one.
236
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- You wanna see my resume?
237
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,067
- Being with a bad bitch is starting to make me feel bad,
238
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and like a bitch. Where you been?
239
00:09:59,067 --> 00:10:00,000
- And what's up with the hoodie?
240
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- Stop asking me all these questions.
241
00:10:02,133 --> 00:10:04,400
It's not her fault. - Whose fault?
242
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,900
- Oh, shit. - Damn, who beat yo ass?
243
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,333
- Griselda, but I deserved it.
244
00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:11,033
I shouldn't have asked Siri for directions in front of her.
245
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I should've just stayed lost, my nig.
246
00:10:12,967 --> 00:10:15,000
I'm sorry. I--I love you.
247
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- What the fuck is happening to us, man?
248
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,867
I lost my girl to a guy who can't talk.
249
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Milk is being abused by a dime.
250
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:25,133
It's like "Freaky Friday After Next."
251
00:10:25,133 --> 00:10:26,800
- Shirley Chisholm Dance turned us into
252
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,133
some straight bitches.
253
00:10:28,133 --> 00:10:29,867
- It's turned y'all into some bitches.
254
00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:31,233
I'm still a ledge.
255
00:10:31,233 --> 00:10:34,867
- I used to be a legend until Medina abandoned me.
256
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,600
I miss her so much.
257
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,033
The sweat under her titties--
258
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:41,367
it smelled like all-you-can-eat garlic knots.
259
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:44,733
- Are you crying over some poontang, motherfucker?
260
00:10:44,733 --> 00:10:47,133
It's okay to be fat, son,
261
00:10:47,133 --> 00:10:49,167
but fat and a bitch will never get you no pussy.
262
00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:50,600
Do you understand what I'm saying to you,
263
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:54,167
you fat bitch?
264
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:56,033
- I'm trying to be helpful, you fat bitch.
265
00:10:56,033 --> 00:11:01,733
Man, I look like Fat Albert.
266
00:11:01,733 --> 00:11:04,833
- Hey, hey, hey, I ain't that fat, nigga.
267
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:06,900
You better get your shit together, Jamal.
268
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,300
You got 24 hours to lose this weight.
269
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:34,300
Yes! - No, you still fat, nigga.
270
00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:48,733
Hey, hey, hey, you still got a fat ass.
271
00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:50,900
- Dysmorphia.
272
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:52,633
- Long day?
273
00:11:52,633 --> 00:11:56,167
- Girl, since you made me over, the boys won't leave me alone.
274
00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:57,667
Is it always like this?
275
00:11:57,667 --> 00:12:01,067
- The kinda guys you attract, they'll mess with anybody.
276
00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:03,100
- I used to want the attention from the boys,
277
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:06,067
but now all I get is penis pics all day.
278
00:12:07,167 --> 00:12:09,367
See? - Bitch, that's Randy's.
279
00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:11,533
I can tell by the two-tone foreskin.
280
00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:12,767
- Oh, you want me to forward it to you?
281
00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:15,200
- No, you can keep it.
282
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,100
Apparently, you're a bone collector.
283
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:20,300
- Whoa, Cindy, you're sounding kinda jealous.
284
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:22,867
- Jealous? Why would I be?
285
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,400
I'm still the hottest girl in school.
286
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,600
- Not according to the leaderboard.
287
00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:29,567
- What the fuck? You're hotter than me?
288
00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:31,600
Are you kidding?
289
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,433
- I didn't ask for three terabytes of junk mail.
290
00:12:33,433 --> 00:12:35,333
- Three? Oh, bitch, you bragging?
291
00:12:35,333 --> 00:12:37,167
- No, I didn't want any of this.
292
00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:41,067
- Oh, okay, now you acting all coy and shit.
293
00:12:41,067 --> 00:12:43,067
- I don't even know what coy means.
294
00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:45,467
Look I gotta go. - Where you going?
295
00:12:45,467 --> 00:12:48,367
I was just kidding. Well, fuck you!
296
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:50,733
Who put you together? Me. That's who.
297
00:12:50,733 --> 00:12:52,433
Who made you popular? Me.
298
00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:55,933
Who do I trust? Me. 'Cause I'm the shit.
299
00:13:01,533 --> 00:13:03,233
- I wanna give you a pregnancy scan.
300
00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:06,900
- Ooh, yeah... - Let me bust one up in you.
301
00:13:10,767 --> 00:13:12,833
Leave me alone!
302
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,167
I am not a breezy, a thot,
303
00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:18,100
a hot piece of ass, or a bad bitch.
304
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:20,133
I am a human being.
305
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,800
- Hey, hey, what is you guys doing?
306
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:22,933
Leave my date alone.
307
00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:25,200
Is you okay? - No, I'm not okay.
308
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,500
This was all a mistake. I'm sorry, Grover.
309
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,367
I'm not going to be able to go to the dance with you.
310
00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:33,267
- No date for the dance? Now I'm really fucked.
311
00:13:33,267 --> 00:13:35,267
- Tough break, kid. - Yeah, sucks.
312
00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:38,100
- Look, son, I know you got a lot on your mind,
313
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,067
but did she say anything about my dick pic?
314
00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:41,167
- Oh, man, come on.
315
00:13:45,067 --> 00:13:47,233
- Look at what I went through.
316
00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,167
It took hours to pluck, wax
317
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:50,133
add new hair, shave old hair off,
318
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,733
paint my nails, put on foundation,
319
00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:53,867
and for what?
320
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,167
I've already seen every dick in Chamberlain Heights.
321
00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:57,367
You ain't seen mine.
322
00:13:57,367 --> 00:13:58,467
- What? - Nothing.
323
00:13:58,467 --> 00:14:01,467
Who cares about the dance?
324
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:03,300
Let's go to the movies.
325
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,267
We could watch that new Marlon Wayans movie,
326
00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:07,333
"Twelve Mo' Years a Slave: Still Slavin'."
327
00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:08,700
- What about the dance?
328
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,333
What's the point of going out if no one see us?
329
00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:11,533
I mean, this is your first dance.
330
00:14:11,533 --> 00:14:14,400
Don't you wanna document it? You and me together,
331
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,400
all over Facebook and Instagram, killing it.
332
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,800
Don't let them rob us of this opportunity to shine.
333
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,367
We're Grotricia, remember?
334
00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:23,300
- You're right. I've never been to a dance.
335
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:26,600
I tell you what, I'll go under one condition.
336
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:30,333
I go as myself. - For sheezy.
337
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:31,633
- Ah! - What you doing?
338
00:14:31,633 --> 00:14:34,233
- First of all, you owe me for a jumbo.
339
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:37,067
And second, this is just who I am, Grover.
340
00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:38,833
- Please, can you at least wait to go back to being a crackhead
341
00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:40,167
till after the dance?
342
00:14:40,167 --> 00:14:43,467
- Look, Grover, if you wanna go with me,
343
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,800
it's going to be as Cracky.
344
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:50,333
Oh, man.
345
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:51,700
All right, hold on.
346
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:54,133
Let me get a few more pictures before you do it.
347
00:14:54,133 --> 00:14:56,267
Hold up, where's my phone? - I sold it.
348
00:14:56,267 --> 00:14:59,300
- You sold it? - You know I'm sick!
349
00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:05,767
- Need more diet pills.
350
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:15,600
- Jamal? Damn, you look good.
351
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:20,067
- Nothing tastes as good as skinny looks and feels.
352
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:21,533
- I can't believe I'm asking this,
353
00:15:21,533 --> 00:15:23,267
but would you go with me to the dance?
354
00:15:23,267 --> 00:15:24,667
- Hell yes.
355
00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:26,933
Let me just lose these fat love handles right quick,
356
00:15:26,933 --> 00:15:29,767
and I'll be ready to go.
357
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,533
Can you open this for me?
358
00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:55,400
- Give me that eggplant.
359
00:15:55,400 --> 00:16:00,600
- Ah! - I paid for Olive Garden.
360
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,467
- Bro, the great thing about me
361
00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:04,500
is, like, I don't even need to work out.
362
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,267
Like, all of this is natural.
363
00:16:06,267 --> 00:16:08,433
Bro, not to toot my own horn or anything,
364
00:16:08,433 --> 00:16:11,067
but, like, did you know that I'm actually flexible enough
365
00:16:11,067 --> 00:16:12,633
to toot my own horn?
366
00:16:12,633 --> 00:16:14,233
And by that I mean I--
367
00:16:14,233 --> 00:16:16,600
I'm this close to fucking you.
368
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,733
- You better not be looking at any other girl in here.
369
00:16:19,733 --> 00:16:21,767
Boy, look at me when I'm talking to you.
370
00:16:21,767 --> 00:16:23,633
What are you doing? Don't look at me.
371
00:16:23,633 --> 00:16:26,433
Keep your eyes down. What do you think of my dress?
372
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:27,600
- I think it-- - Shut up!
373
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,167
I don't wanna hear it! Gimme a kiss...
374
00:16:30,167 --> 00:16:32,700
like you mean it!
375
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,267
Keep crying, hear.
376
00:16:34,267 --> 00:16:35,733
I'ma use your tears for lubricant.
377
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,633
- Looks like everybody's having fun.
378
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:44,300
Don't think they'll be thinking about us.
379
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,600
- Yeah, great.
380
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:47,900
- Who's Cindy with? - Who's that?
381
00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:48,867
- He look good.
382
00:16:48,867 --> 00:16:52,067
- It sounds like there are people here.
383
00:16:52,067 --> 00:16:54,267
Are there people here, Cindy?
384
00:16:54,267 --> 00:16:55,133
- Hey, everybody.
385
00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,667
- Holy shit. Jamal?
386
00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:59,367
- Looks like someone let the air out of you.
387
00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:01,500
You all right? - Who's that?
388
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:05,067
Is that you, white Jesus?
389
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,100
Is it time to go to heaven?
390
00:17:07,100 --> 00:17:08,600
- Jesus was black, homey.
391
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,067
They had a documentary on him on Adult Swim.
392
00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:12,167
- What happened to you?
393
00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:15,233
- Well, I didn't wanna be the only one without a date,
394
00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:17,500
so I lost all this weight.
395
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,433
Now I'm here with Cindy.
396
00:17:19,433 --> 00:17:23,500
Well, at least it feels like Cindy.
397
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:27,200
- Ooh, I like that. Mm, what's your name?
398
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,067
- Uh-uh, bitch, he's here with me.
399
00:17:29,067 --> 00:17:30,933
- Who you calling bitch?
400
00:17:30,933 --> 00:17:33,433
- You, bitch.
401
00:17:33,433 --> 00:17:35,667
- I'm so glad I didn't let her suck the nine.
402
00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:38,967
- Come with it!
403
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,467
- Whoa... hey...
404
00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,867
- Oh, girl, oh.
405
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:07,600
- Worldstar.
406
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:08,333
- Yeah.
407
00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:14,533
- Ooh! A titty popped out.
408
00:18:14,533 --> 00:18:18,133
- What's it look like? Someone describe it to me.
409
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:20,067
Is it ham or beef?
410
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:21,067
- Oh, bitch, oh!
411
00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:25,400
Cat fight! Cat fight!
412
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:29,067
Cat fight! Cat fight! Cat fight! Cat fight!
413
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,533
- Enough!
414
00:18:30,533 --> 00:18:33,333
This empowerment dance turned us into monsters.
415
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:36,233
But Shirley Chisholm,
416
00:18:36,233 --> 00:18:39,067
the woman this dance was named after,
417
00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:40,867
was a pioneer.
418
00:18:40,867 --> 00:18:43,267
- Shut up, bitch. Make me a sandwich.
419
00:18:43,267 --> 00:18:47,067
- I'd like some sourdough bread if you can, bitch.
420
00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:47,833
- That's real talk, though.
421
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:50,600
- I will not make you a sandwich.
422
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,733
Those days are over.
423
00:18:52,733 --> 00:18:54,233
When someone told Shirley Chisholm
424
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:57,900
to make a sandwich, she told them to "suck my dick."
425
00:18:57,900 --> 00:18:58,900
I think.
426
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:00,933
Uh, I was high when I read about it.
427
00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:02,100
The point is,
428
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,333
Shirley Chisholm didn't wanna be remembered
429
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:05,933
for making sandwiches.
430
00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:10,067
She wanted to be remembered as a woman who had guts.
431
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:13,500
Do you girls wanna be remembered as a thot
432
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,600
or a woman with thoughts?
433
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:16,433
- Ooh, what's this I'm feeling?
434
00:19:16,433 --> 00:19:19,533
It's all warm and tingly,
435
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,533
like I wanna cover my ass up and shit.
436
00:19:21,533 --> 00:19:23,633
- It's called self-respect.
437
00:19:23,633 --> 00:19:25,067
- Oh, like, yeah,
438
00:19:25,067 --> 00:19:27,633
I--I don't think I want my titties out either.
439
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,867
- This wig been itching me all day.
440
00:19:29,867 --> 00:19:31,900
- Oh, snap! - Oh, oh, no.
441
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:33,433
- That's what it looks like without makeup!
442
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:36,167
No!
443
00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:38,500
- They making a break for it. Lock the door.
444
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:41,300
- Way ahead of you.
445
00:19:43,867 --> 00:19:46,067
- Oh, you guys are gonna learn to like us for who we are,
446
00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:49,067
even if we have to beat the sexism out of you.
447
00:19:49,067 --> 00:19:50,500
all: Ah!
448
00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:56,900
- I think next year,
449
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:58,667
we should plan out the next Shirley Chisholm dance better.
450
00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:01,067
I lost Cindy to Cracky, and Patricia to crack.
451
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,833
- At least everything's back to normal,
452
00:20:02,833 --> 00:20:04,767
where men are men and thots are thots.
453
00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:05,533
- Mm-mm-mm! - Damn, girl.
454
00:20:05,533 --> 00:20:08,333
- Well, almost everything.
455
00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:14,633
Thanks for nursing me back to health.
456
00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:15,867
- You got it, boo.
457
00:20:15,867 --> 00:20:17,100
I'm sorry for not asking you to the dance.
458
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:19,133
I just can't let you take me for granted.
459
00:20:19,133 --> 00:20:21,500
But after not having anyone to share second lunch
460
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,800
and third dessert with,
461
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,133
I realized that you're the only one for me, Jamal.
462
00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:31,700
- You just gonna sit there and watch them make out?
463
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,633
- Nah, man, now that Griselda ain't allowed
464
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,033
within 100 yards of me,
465
00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:37,400
I got some making up to do with Rhiyonce.
466
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,233
What you gonna get into, Grove?
467
00:20:39,233 --> 00:20:40,733
- Well, there go Cindy.
468
00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:42,933
I'm 'bout to go holler before Randy bitch ass get back.
469
00:20:42,933 --> 00:20:45,067
- You're back! - Hells yizzas!
470
00:20:45,067 --> 00:20:46,567
In the immortal words of Nick Cannon,
471
00:20:46,567 --> 00:20:49,367
"You can't get rid of me. I'm here forever."
472
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,400
- Nick Cannon is hilarious.
473
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,667
- He can rap too.
474
00:20:54,667 --> 00:20:56,600
- Now everything's back to normal.
475
00:21:00,667 --> 00:21:03,533
- You know I'm sick!
35138
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