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1
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- I got one for y'all. Ayesha Curry or Savannah James?
2
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- Shit, I'll snag both of them Lar-tinas.
3
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- You know the rules to the game, homey.
4
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Can't take both.
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- That's a mediocre mindset, my nig.
6
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- Well, I'll take Ayesha over Savannah,
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'cause you already know 'Bron did damage to them levies.
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- God damn it, Randy.
9
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What you doing, motherfucker? Get your head in the game.
10
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You ain't light-skinded enough to make that pass.
11
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- Damn, Bundy's breath is on one today.
12
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I can actually see his words.
13
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- It's like the Tooth Fairy took a shit in his mouth.
14
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- I'm finna capture a BET award for this.
15
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- Who in the motherfucking hell you think you is?
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Russell Westbrook? - Well, I--I wish, Coach.
17
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- Well, you ain't, you quasi-gay motherfucker.
18
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- I'm trying, Coach.
19
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You don't have to be so agro about it.
20
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- Well, try harder, ya no-toughness-havin',
21
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wanna be a point guard but dribble like Dwight Coward,
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couldn't jump over a credit card motherfucker.
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I'm sorry.
24
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Maybe I should just put a gun to my head.
25
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- Go ahead, motherfucker. Everybody knows you can't shoot.
26
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- Anybody else wanna fuck up my dreams?
27
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- I'm uploading this shit right now, yadada mean?
28
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Got you, motherfucker.
29
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What?
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- Damn it, damn it, damn it... - I don't know.
31
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Oh, I'm very excited here.
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- Everybody settle down.
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I know that we've all seen the video,
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and I'm sure Coach Bundy wants to apologize.
35
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Ladies and gentlemen...
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I ain't apologizing for shit!
37
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Questions?
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- Kiss my grits, Bundy.
39
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You can't bully my son. He's your best player!
40
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- These kids need to be coddled, enabled, and lied to,
41
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just like they will be in the real world.
42
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Some ol'-- some ol' emo type shit.
43
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- Look, it's time to vote.
44
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All those in favor of Coach Bundy being fired,
45
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say "holler." all: Holler!
46
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- Sorry, Coach, the parents have spoken.
47
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Gonna have to fire you. Now turn in your whistle
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and your polyester compression shorts.
49
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- I ain't turning in shit, motherfucker.
50
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Y'all come get this motherfucker if you want to.
51
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- God damn, man. You need all that dick?
52
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- It looks like longtime Duncan head coach, Ike Bundy,
53
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is in bloody waters after a video leaked of him
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beraping one of his players with his ball.
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The Chamberlain Heights school district
56
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will be looking for a replacement
57
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who can keep it coolio under pressure.
58
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I wrote that.
59
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- Looking for some midnight anus, handsome?
60
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- Damn, Milk. Ain't you gonna go apologize
61
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to Coach Bundy for getting him booted?
62
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- Forget Coach Bundy. He always yelling at us,
63
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he don't give us any burn, and his breath smell like
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his mouth and his ass switched places.
65
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- Can I help you? - I'm your new head coach.
66
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- Derek Fisher, I get that you're a basketball player,
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but you can't just come in here and--
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Oh, shit. - That is a nice suit.
69
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- Students of Duncan, it is with great pleasure
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that I introduce you to your new head basketball coach.
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He's well-hung-- I mean, well-equipped
72
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to handle this job.
73
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Give it up for five-time NBA champion, Derek Fisher!
74
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- He's so gorgeous.
75
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I got some bait for those fish lips.
76
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- We got a celebrity coach, my nig.
77
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- Ah!
78
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We might actually get some burn.
79
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- How you figure? We ride the bench.
80
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- He ain't seen us play,
81
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so he don't know that y'all suck.
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What? I got statistics.
83
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Google me, bitch.
84
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- I'm your coach. You're welcome.
85
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- I'ma have your babies, Coach Fisher!
86
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- What's wrong with you, Ike?
87
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You look like me on our wedding day.
88
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- Rivers brought that goddamn Derek Fisher in to take my job.
89
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- Derek Fisher? Ooh, Lakers' Derek Fisher?
90
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- Yes, the sexy, delicious, high yella motherfucker.
91
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- You can say that again. - Say what again, motherfucker?
92
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- Huh? What? Uh-- oh, uh, nothing, Ike.
93
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- I mean, what has this nigga done really?
94
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- Eh, nothing. He's only a five-time NBA champion,
95
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'96 Sun Belt Player of the Year,
96
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and the best-looking Laker since Jamaal "Silk" Wilkes.
97
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- Everybody knows Rick Fox is the prettiest Laker of all time.
98
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Anyways, Fisher's coaching the game tonight,
99
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and I wanna go see the motherfucker crash and burn.
100
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- Duncan High is the place to be tonight
101
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for the debut of Head Coach Derek Fisher.
102
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- You're welcome. Love me. Love me.
103
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Who wants to sex Fisher?
104
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- Fisher.
105
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- Bundy.
106
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- You know you ain't shit, right?
107
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- I know. Who do I make this out to?
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- Fuck you, Fish.
109
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What the fuck? God damn, nigga, you strong.
110
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- You're welcome.
111
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- Bundy, just so you know,
112
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I personally have no problem with you being here.
113
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In fact, you can go sit on the bench
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with the rest of the shit crew.
115
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- Fuck you, Doc!
116
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- Work that black D, baby!
117
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- And the Blind Bats win the tip.
118
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I bet no one saw that coming.
119
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- Hey, Bundy, welcome to the shit crew.
120
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- What you talking about, Jamal?
121
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I ain't one of y'all motherfuckers.
122
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So what y'all do when y'all just sitting here?
123
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Y'all play any games, like, uh,
124
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Chutes and Ladders or Battleship?
125
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'Cause I will sink all you motherfuckers.
126
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- We scout the spectators for future boos.
127
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Ooh, and a number one prospect just entered the premises.
128
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- Shit, I'd crash, smash, and Kardash that ass.
129
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- Shit, I'd eat it, beat it, and skeet it.
130
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- She's a brick house.
131
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I'd leave my old lady for that mother--
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wait a goddamn minute. That is my old lady!
133
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Who the hell you think you pinky waving at?
134
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That's my wife, motherfucker.
135
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- You the name of the game. Your bitch chose me.
136
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Motherfucker.
137
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- You're welcome.
138
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- Ah!
139
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Ugh.
140
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- Y'all can kiss the blackest part of my ass.
141
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Why?
142
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- And even in defeat,
143
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Derek Fisher is still victorious.
144
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- Ah, damn it!
145
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- Ike, I am done with you and this marriage.
146
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You ain't shit, your breath smells like shit,
147
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and you don't even have a meat print.
148
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- I just got fired, and now you gonna fire me too?
149
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Don't do this to me, sweetie.
150
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- Look, Ike, I'm a basketball wife,
151
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and you out of the game.
152
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I found someone else to run the dick and roll with.
153
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- Now ain't this a bitch and two hos?
154
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- I'm happy Coach Bundy got booted.
155
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I won't miss him or that hot-ass breath.
156
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- I feel you. Coach Fisher the wave.
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Bundy wasn't even the wave cap.
158
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- I ain't gonna lie. His smile is infectious.
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If I was a girl, I'd let him blow me.
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Relax, guys, it ain't gay if I'm a girl.
161
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- Anyways, we just gotta make sure
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we show Coach Fish we some legends.
163
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I'm kinda nervous for our first practice with him.
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- Don't be nervous, Grover.
165
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- Mom, shut yo' ass up and drive.
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Mind yo' business when black folks talking.
167
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- Oh, Milky, relax. Jamal is right.
168
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Coach Fisher is handsome.
169
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He's smooth, but hard-- oh, and supple.
170
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He's definitely a coconut oil kinda Mandingo.
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- Yo, Moms, you can't say that kinda racist shit.
172
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- Oh, please. I've had more black semen in me
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than a Haitian submarine.
174
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Anyhoo...
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your coach messaged me last night on Snapchat,
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asking me to be a team mom.
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- Hold up, why Coach Fisher hitting you in the DMs?
178
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- Because, honey, everyone knows it goes down in the DMs.
179
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- You want to be great, you must follow the Fishman.
180
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- Damn, my nigs, Coach Fisher's practice
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was lamer than a motherfucker.
182
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- Yup, all bruh did was show off his meat print
183
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and make us shag his jumpers.
184
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That shit was some boo-boo.
185
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- Yup, Bundy may have had death breath,
186
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but at least he wanted to make us better.
187
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He probably screaming at his new team right now.
188
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- Slow down, and let me find the motherfucker. Damn!
189
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- I don't understand why I can't have the fish.
190
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- Fuck a fish.
191
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- What's the problem now, fuck boy?
192
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- The fish and the chicken look the same.
193
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- Do you see the pictures? When does fish have feet?
194
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- Come on, boss. My cataracts is acting up.
195
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- Come on, get your head in the game
196
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and get this line moving, fuck boy.
197
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- You can't talk to me like that.
198
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I used to be a coach.
199
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- Look at me. I'm the coach now.
200
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- Uh, Coach Bundy? You work here now?
201
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- No, you dumb mother-- I mean, yes.
202
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Y'all the reason why I got fired in the first place.
203
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- Damn, bruh, I thought you'd at least be manager.
204
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You okay? - Do I look okay?
205
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I just lost my job and my wife to Derek Fisher.
206
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- For real? How you know he's smashing?
207
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- He left this at my house.
208
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- That look awful small to be D-Fish's headband.
209
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- Nah, this is his cock band.
210
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Now, this is his headband.
211
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- That don't prove shit.
212
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- Oh, and, uh, I walked in on them fucking.
213
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- Oh, gotcha. - I'm nothing without Duncan.
214
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As much as I hated you no-talented bastards,
215
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I loved coaching y'all. I was tough,
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but that's the only way I know how to coach.
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Basketball was my life.
218
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- Hey, fuck boy. I done warned you too many times
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about getting sentimental with the customers.
220
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You fired.
221
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- Damn, that's the second time I've been fired this week.
222
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Well, nothing left to do but go smoke some rocks.
223
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- It is game time.
224
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Now I've been looking at the analytics
225
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and crunching the data points,
226
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and this strategy works the best.
227
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Randy and Mumblemouth, I am benching you.
228
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- What? Come on, Coach. I'm team captain
229
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and the best player on the squad.
230
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- Man, how you gonna go on and bench me like
231
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I'm one of these-- I'm one of these fresh fish?
232
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- You're welcome.
233
00:11:19,933 --> 00:11:22,533
Grover, Milk, you're starting the game.
234
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- Oh, hell yeah. - That's right.
235
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- Say what, my nig?
236
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- Damn, J. Guess we all can't be legends.
237
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- Timeout.
238
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Damn, Milk.
239
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Guess we all can't be legends.
240
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- It's okay, fellas. Let's just stand over here.
241
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We may be down 30, but there is still hope.
242
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It is time to run
243
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Derek Lamar Fisher's patented circle offense.
244
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- What's the circle offense, Coach?
245
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- Form a circle around me.
246
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Did I ever tell you about the time
247
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the Fish saved the Lakers from certain doom
248
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with only 0.4 seconds remaining to beat the San Antonio Spurs?
249
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Nobody thought he could do it.
250
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Not Phil. Not Shaq. Not Kobe's bitch ass.
251
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:31,633
So he willed himself to greatness.
252
00:12:31,633 --> 00:12:33,100
- Come on now, Coach.
253
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,733
We got a game to play. Let's go.
254
00:12:34,733 --> 00:12:37,267
- I'ma have to call all our timeouts, Ref.
255
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:40,967
This story has three minutes and 42 seconds remaining.
256
00:12:40,967 --> 00:12:42,467
Now where was I?
257
00:12:42,467 --> 00:12:44,933
Gary Payton was taking the ball out of bounds.
258
00:12:44,933 --> 00:12:46,833
I was supposed to be setting a screen
259
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:49,400
for Mr. Kobe Bryant himself.
260
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,900
I did not feel like Kobe would be competent in making the shot.
261
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,467
- This nigga!
262
00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:59,567
Y'all not listening. D-Fish's game plan
263
00:12:59,567 --> 00:13:03,167
is to smash all the boo'd-up chicks in Chamberlain Heights.
264
00:13:03,167 --> 00:13:04,833
That meat print is out there.
265
00:13:04,833 --> 00:13:08,333
It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with.
266
00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:12,733
It doesn't feel pity, and it won't stop, ever,
267
00:13:12,733 --> 00:13:15,200
until you get fucked.
268
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,333
- Come on, Jamal. That sounds scandy.
269
00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:19,533
D- Fish a good dude. - Good dude?
270
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:22,567
He did it to Matt Barnes. He did it to Coach Bundy.
271
00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:25,067
Now he finna churn some Hunny!
272
00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:28,333
Milk, your mom is next. Then Cindy.
273
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:31,733
- We gotta stop that mark.
274
00:13:31,733 --> 00:13:33,500
There his car go. Sha-mon.
275
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,067
- Ah, it feel good.
276
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:37,067
- Yes--oh, goodness, oh!
277
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,667
Hunny likes her coffee. Oh!
278
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:42,100
- Yo, he giving my moms that meat print.
279
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:43,667
- Hard.
280
00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:48,333
- Oh, it feel good, yes.
281
00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:52,733
- So, uh, how long we just gonna stand here and watch this?
282
00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:54,933
- Well, at least he using protection.
283
00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:56,533
- What, he think my mom a ho or something?
284
00:13:56,533 --> 00:13:58,200
Not on my watch.
285
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,700
Mom, what in the fuck? - Oh, Milton...
286
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,667
- Yo, fellas, fellas, what is happening here?
287
00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:04,367
- Uh, did you--did you lose your house key again?
288
00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:06,633
- All I needed was another 24 seconds,
289
00:14:06,633 --> 00:14:08,500
and I would have drained my balls from deep.
290
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,733
- Shut your ass up, D-Fish. You ain't even have
291
00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:12,667
the common courtesy to raw dog my mom.
292
00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:14,067
You ain't shit, homey.
293
00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:16,067
- Milton, get the hell out of here.
294
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:18,533
I was almost there. - Ew, Mom! Shit!
295
00:14:18,533 --> 00:14:20,200
- Mrs. Milk, we just wanna tell you that
296
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,967
Coach Fish ain't who he say he is.
297
00:14:21,967 --> 00:14:23,367
- See for yourself.
298
00:14:23,367 --> 00:14:25,867
- You will return that to me immediately.
299
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:31,133
- We tellin' Principal Rivers the whole story.
300
00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:33,767
- Fuck out of town, Dead Fish!
301
00:14:33,767 --> 00:14:37,067
- Tighten it back up. I'll be back.
302
00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:40,800
- On it.
303
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,233
- So are we breaking for lunch or...
304
00:14:47,833 --> 00:14:49,900
- Oh, shit! He's gaining on us.
305
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,800
I can't run much longer. I didn't bring my sports bra.
306
00:15:05,133 --> 00:15:08,400
- Mmm...fresh pussy.
307
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,433
- I'm so glad we waited to have sex
308
00:15:10,433 --> 00:15:12,733
until after we were married. I can't wait to spend
309
00:15:12,733 --> 00:15:14,567
the rest of our lives together--
310
00:15:15,733 --> 00:15:18,167
- You're welcome.
311
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,933
- We can't have these breakdowns
312
00:15:19,933 --> 00:15:21,933
if y'all wanna win the game, motherfuckers.
313
00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:24,767
- Yo, is that Bundy coaching a team with no team?
314
00:15:24,767 --> 00:15:26,200
- I'ma go holler at him right quick.
315
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,800
- Be careful, my nig.
316
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:31,300
Guaranteed he ain't brushed his teeth in a cool minute.
317
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,200
- Hey, Coach. It's me, Grover.
318
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,133
- Cummings! How many times I gotta tell you
319
00:15:35,133 --> 00:15:37,333
to pass the ball? Come on, Montrel!
320
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,933
Get your head in the game, motherfucker!
321
00:15:39,933 --> 00:15:41,733
- We need you back at Duncan, Coach.
322
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,633
D-Fish is ruining everything here.
323
00:15:43,633 --> 00:15:45,433
Your breath and your coaching stink,
324
00:15:45,433 --> 00:15:48,167
but at least you care. Come on back, Coach.
325
00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:49,400
God damn, you stink.
326
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:57,667
- I got your text, Grover. What's the big emergency?
327
00:15:57,667 --> 00:16:00,333
- We just found out Coach Fisher's shadier than Slim
328
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:02,700
when he's with Kim with no lights on in the gym.
329
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:03,867
both: Bars!
330
00:16:03,867 --> 00:16:05,467
- Why you guys hating on Coach Fisher?
331
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:07,100
He's been nothing but a gentleman.
332
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,433
He says he's gonna introduce me to his friend,
333
00:16:09,433 --> 00:16:11,867
Meat Print Papi. - No, you don't wanna meet him.
334
00:16:11,867 --> 00:16:14,600
He's trying to terminate every chick in CH that's boo'd up.
335
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,600
It's my job to keep that booty safe.
336
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,133
- Yeah, he already broke up Coach Bundy's marriage
337
00:16:19,133 --> 00:16:21,267
and remodeled Milk's mom's interior.
338
00:16:21,267 --> 00:16:24,867
Let's just say she now has a basement and a storm shed.
339
00:16:24,867 --> 00:16:26,633
And you next on the list.
340
00:16:26,633 --> 00:16:28,500
- I bet he does this everywhere he goes.
341
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,467
Lakers, Knicks--shit, I heard by the time he left Utah,
342
00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:33,300
the Jazz spelled their name with a "i".
343
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:34,633
- Ugh, that sick bastard.
344
00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:37,267
How the hell do we get rid of him?
345
00:16:37,267 --> 00:16:40,733
- Now I heard y'all was having a little issue with D-Fish.
346
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,767
I can help you with that. I used to hoop with Matt Barnes
347
00:16:43,767 --> 00:16:45,500
back in the summers at the Drew League.
348
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:48,400
Now, Matt is one of the realest niggas on the planet.
349
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,533
Don't think he would mind
350
00:16:49,533 --> 00:16:51,500
sending another message to D-Fish.
351
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,100
- How we gonna get in touch with Matt?
352
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,067
- Oh, I can holler, but that's gonna run you
353
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:56,333
half a hundred and a fifty...
354
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:58,933
In singles.
355
00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:00,067
- Broke-ass nigs.
356
00:17:00,067 --> 00:17:01,467
- Ah!
357
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:06,233
- Yo.
358
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:07,600
- Hey, yo, Matt. What's up?
359
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,367
It's 'Trelly from the Drew League.
360
00:17:09,367 --> 00:17:11,933
Remember, we used to smoke blunts in the parking lot?
361
00:17:11,933 --> 00:17:14,067
- Oh, my dude. What's cracking?
362
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:16,467
Aye, shut the fuck up!
363
00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:17,900
I'm on the phone.
364
00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:20,233
- Hey, Derek Fisher out here in Chamberlain Heights
365
00:17:20,233 --> 00:17:23,367
talking major shit about you and your tattoos.
366
00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:24,733
You need to handle that.
367
00:17:24,733 --> 00:17:26,833
- Say what? I'm on my way.
368
00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:42,367
- We need you, Coach.
369
00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:45,100
- Nigga, we need you too. - We need you more.
370
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,867
- Crack. - Come on, Coach.
371
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,367
- Crack...
372
00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:51,767
Crack-crack-crack-crack-crack- crack-crack-crack-crack.
373
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,067
- Let's bounce back.
374
00:17:58,067 --> 00:18:00,300
"Black Holes" on three, two, one.
375
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:02,900
all: Black Holes!
376
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:06,067
- Grover, Milk, Jamal. - What you want, buster?
377
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:09,067
- You know what it is. Keep your mouth shut
378
00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:12,333
or the next ass I get in is going to be yours.
379
00:18:13,733 --> 00:18:16,067
- Fisher! - Matthew.
380
00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:18,567
- I heard you was out here breaking the code.
381
00:18:18,567 --> 00:18:19,700
Square up!
382
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,700
- You know the name of the game, Matthew.
383
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:24,600
These bitches are choosing. Quit being a simp.
384
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,700
- The time for talking is done, Derek.
385
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:27,933
Shoot the fade.
386
00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:40,067
- Oh, shit. I knew our school was hood.
387
00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:46,500
- Oh, shit. That nigga's a machine too?
388
00:18:56,433 --> 00:18:57,933
Ah!
389
00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:13,367
- Ah! - Matthew, how do my ass taste?
390
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:18,767
- Surprise, motherfucker.
391
00:19:18,767 --> 00:19:19,833
- Bundy.
392
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:31,733
I'm glad that's over. - Nah, there's still one left.
393
00:19:31,733 --> 00:19:34,133
I can't kill myself. - Why come, Matt?
394
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:35,567
Come on, tell me. - I don't wanna play
395
00:19:35,567 --> 00:19:39,867
in Sacramento no more. Just kill me, Coach.
396
00:19:44,133 --> 00:19:45,967
- Worldstar!
397
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,767
- Coach Bundy, I'm glad you're back.
398
00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:49,733
You know I always believed in you.
399
00:19:49,733 --> 00:19:52,267
- Yeah, whatever, nigga. Get your asses on the court!
400
00:19:52,267 --> 00:19:55,067
We got a motherfucking game to play, fuck boys.
401
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:04,333
- Stop fouling, guys! Let's get this shit over with.
402
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:05,767
- Man, this some bullshit.
403
00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:07,800
Don't Coach Bundy know if he gave us some burn,
404
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,167
we'd deliver some shine?
405
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,667
- Yeah, fuck Coach Bundy's seniority respecting,
406
00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:13,467
always talking 'bout practice,
407
00:20:13,467 --> 00:20:15,533
dedicated to the game ass bullshit.
408
00:20:15,533 --> 00:20:16,700
- I heard what y'all said,
409
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:18,300
and I appreciate what you did for me,
410
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,533
so I'm gonna do you a solid. Hey, timeout, Ref!
411
00:20:22,367 --> 00:20:23,700
- Come on, Coach, you tripping.
412
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:26,233
There's only five seconds left. Maybe next game.
413
00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:29,100
- I'm trying to be nice to you motherfuckers!
414
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:31,700
Now get your ass in the game! Milk, come here.
415
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,533
- Man, what you want, dookie breath?
416
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:35,500
- I know we haven't seen eye to eye,
417
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:36,900
but I believe in you, boy.
418
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:39,367
So as soon as you get that ball, I want you to shoot it.
419
00:20:39,367 --> 00:20:41,433
- Oh, for real? I got the green light?
420
00:20:41,433 --> 00:20:42,667
- This your time, Milk.
421
00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:46,533
I believe you can fly, motherfucker.
422
00:20:52,433 --> 00:20:54,433
Air ball!
423
00:20:54,433 --> 00:20:56,033
all: Air ball!
424
00:20:56,033 --> 00:20:58,200
- Worldstar! Motherfucker.
425
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,067
- Got him!
426
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:09,800
Who's that?
427
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:10,900
Who's that little friend? - Feel good.
428
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:13,067
- Oh, I love it!
429
00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:14,867
- Oh, yes! Oh, goodness, oh!
430
00:21:14,867 --> 00:21:16,200
- I confirm, that feels very good.
431
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,133
- Yes, Hunny likes. Hunny likes her--
432
00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:19,533
these are my friends. These are my friends.
433
00:21:19,533 --> 00:21:20,800
- Ah, you like that?
434
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,233
- Ah!
32684
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