Original subtitles

- All right, Chamberlain Heights.

I hope you're ready for tonight's game

over at Duncan against Cuba Gooding Jr. High.

One win, and Duncan will be

in the playoffs for the first time ever.

And after the game, hang around for the jersey

retirement for the all-time leading scorer

in Duncan High history, Montrel Cummings.

His brother plays on the team as well,

but he don't get no burn.

- Damn, the whole town know you a bench rider now.

- No shit, I'll never be a legend if I don't

get off the bench.

- Don't sweat that, pimp.

I feel like we're gonna get our shots soon,

and when we do, we're gonna blow up

bigger than Jamal's mom after eating peanuts.

- Ha, ha!

That's funny.

Speaking of moms with big titties,

hey, Mrs. Milk.

Fuck, marry, kill-- me, Grover, Milk.

- That's a good question.

I'd definitely fuck Jamal.

- Mom, how the hell you gonna fuck Jamal

over your own son?

- That's sick. - I knew you was a thot, Mom.

- It's my body, Milton, my body. - Sometimes I got to remind

myself that you're my mom. - That's sick, Milton.

- Get your life together. - Mind your business, Milton!

- Yeah, that's me, baby. They retiring my jersey.

So do you want to go for a ride in my boy's party hearse?

It's got it's own Starbucks, a Coffee Bean,

a cocoa butter machine, and an Asian woman

in the back to do your nails.

All thanks to my homey, Shea Butta.

Yeah! - Yeah, that's right.

My hearse is the shit. It even got a gold-plated bidet.

Aye, can a nigga have some chips?

- Ow! And one.

- Two shots at the line, Black Holes.

- Yeah, we're in there.

Yeah-- Oh, God!

Oh! Oh!

- Oh, shit, Randy trying to cough up a dick!

- Oh, my God! Oh! Oh!

- In adherence with the-- - Oh! Oh! God!

- In adherence with the-- - Oh! Oh! Oh!

- Man, will somebody get this fucking kid, man?

- Oh! God!

- In adherence with the rules, the opposing coach

will select another Duncan player

to replace the injured one.

- I'll do it. - You ain't gonna do shit.

You ain't got off the bench all year,

you broke jumper motherfucker.

- We'll take him.

- You lucky, my nig.

Now you ain't got to take that shot,

'cause I know you was scurred. - Scurred?

The strongest part of my game is shooting

when no one is guarding me. I would've sunk that bitch

and took us all to the playoffs.

- Well, the lights out. So we'll never know.

- Due to the rolling blackout,

the game will be postponed until tomorrow.

It will be at the same time in the same place per the rules.

Number 54 will be taking the shot.

- Looks like you got your wish.

- Plus you got all day to think about it.

If you make that shot, my nig, all our lives change.

- Hey, Grover.

I had this whole party planned for after the game,

which you probably didn't know, 'cause you weren't invited,

but since you're the one who can take us to the playoffs,

it'd be wrong if you weren't there.

- Can my boys come? - I don't know.

Milk creeps everybody out.

And the fat one-- - Hey, bitch.

I'm standing right here.

- Oh, it's dark. I didn't see you.

Yeah, they can come.

- See, my nigs, our lives is matriculating already.

- Damn it, DMX, are you a father or a drug addict?

You don't need crack. You need Jesus.

- Jefe, why do you like this show

with the gay black man giving advice?

It's boring, holmes. - That's Iyanla.

She's the only one on TV still brave enough

to care about black people.

- Is your brother Montrel playing games again?

This isn't funny, boss.

- Nah, he's not even here.

And I know I paid the power bill.

Hey, the lights are out all over the city.

- Except for the hills.

- Why do they still have power up there, ese?

I don't know anything about the hills.

I've never been above sea level.

- I'll tell you why. 'Cause they're white.

- Look at this.

We finally invited to one of Cindy's parties.

Now don't do nothing stupid and get us kicked out, Milk.

- Yeah, you heard Cindy say you was creepy.

- Nah, she said she want to creep with your boy

and do some smashing. - That ain't what she said.

- That is what she said. - That's not what she said.

- Why you always be hating? - You out of your goddamn mind.

That's why no one came to your birthday party.

- We haven't been in here five seconds,

and y'all both acting like a bunch of Meek Mills.

Let's just slide in here unnoticed,

holler at Cindy, maybe get some free throw love,

and get out of here before anybody see us.

- Aye, it's Grover.

- Fall back, my nig. We was invited.

- Nah, nah, nah, nah. It's all good, Grover.

We glad you here. You about to be the man.

- I am? That's right, I am.

- As soon as you sink that free throw

and send us to the playoff.

- You goddamn right! Don't even worry about him.

He got Icy Hot running through his veins.

- You got it.

You know I ain't gonna let you down.

Who you know fresher than Grover?

Small thing to a giant.

- I can't believe this shit.

I carried this team all season.

And now this little shithead is gonna steal my shine.

We should go fuck him up.

Right, guys? Right?

Where'd you guys go?

You know I can't turn.

Seriously, it's not fun anymore, guys.

- I think I'ma holler at A'pos'trafee'a.

I mean, she ain't a dime, but shit.

A nickel trumps a penny every day.

- It's too bad you ain't the color of a penny,

'cause I don't think she into your shade, my nig.

- Damn, Jamal, why you always hating on my light skindidness?

Aye, girl.

You ever had milk shoot out your nose?

Or in your mouth?

- Wait, he's one of Grover's boys.

If he makes that shot, they're gonna be popular.

- Oh, okay. - That's what I thought.

- Okay, white boy, you got our attention,

so what you working with?

- A soft eight or a hard nine.

That's up to you, thirsty-ass beezy.

- You becoming the man is already starting to rub off.

- What up, fellas?

I just put out a new batch of Swedish meat--

- Balls!

I'm already there, you heard?

- It's cool that Pastor Scrilla let you use the house like this.

- He's out of town at Hallelujah-pallooza.

His favorite artist Reverend Run is performing.

- Well, praise the Lord,

'cause I'm crucifixing to get in your pants.

- You're so silly, Grover.

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

I'm gonna be a free agent after this season.

- Well, I got a max deal waiting for you.

Just let me know when you're ready to sign.

- Uh, we'll see.

Let's dance.

- Hey, you gonna let Grover go over there and push up

on your girl on some Derrick Fisher type shit?

- Hells no, Mumblemouth. I got a plan.

This time, we're gonna take down the shit crew once and for all.

Now all I need is--

Aw, come the fuck on, guys!

- Today's the day, big guy.

Today, the legend begins.

Damn, Montrel.

Didn't Mom say to stop

bringing caskets in the house?

- Oh, wait, this ain't mine.

It's from Shea's party hearse.

Since I had to take my other suit back,

I had to borrow one off this nigga.

- We about to get turnt up.

'Cause of the delay, all of Montrel's teammates

flew in for the jersey retirement ceremony.

- Yeah, that's right.

The party ain't gonna stop till the casket drop.

Yeah!

- All right, you ready for tonight, caa?

- Yeah, Shea, I stay ready.

It's about to be two legends in the house.

- Legends?

All you have to do is make a free throw?

Anybody can do that.

Hell, they let the mascot shoot from half court

blindfolded on a trampoline on fire.

- Say the word, caa. I'll light you up.

- Y'all just jealous I'm in the same league as y'all.

- Jealous?

Nigga, I was the top league scorer

in the AC Green Sta-Soft-Fro All Star Invitational.

I was the shit!

- That sound like a buster league to me.

- You try averaging 25 points a game

with curl activator all over the ball.

- First of all, what the fuck is curl activator?

And secondly, I don't care what's on the ball.

Once I sink this shot, I will no longer

be under your shadow.

- You really think you gonna be something, huh?

They don't call it the charity stripe for nothing.

And if you happen to make this shot,

you'll be lucky, not a legend.

The best you can do is not fuck up.

- Aw, shit, dude leaking.

We got to roll, caa.

- You got this, Grover.

- Hey, we're counting on you!

- Don't worry, sweet thing, Grover got you.

I don't know what Montrel's talking about.

You got to be a legend to get this kind of love.

It's easy.

Just get up there and make the shot.

But then again, I guess it's possible.

Am I crazy for talking to myself?

- Everybody know if you talk to yourself,

it mean you crazy. Ain't that right, Prince?

- Next. And what's your problem?

- Yeah, I paid my bill,

but my power went off last night for like an hour.

- Hold on.

LaKeisha, no, I ain't busy.

You saw Gerard with who?

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm, yup. Mm-hmm.

- My sister, can you just--

you're at work right now.

Can you just help me? - Girl, hold on.

This customer is more worrisome than my kids.

Oh, you from Chamberlain Heights.

- I know that.

- Then you should also know that rolling blackouts

are affecting everybody from Don Cornelius Avenue

to Martin Luther King Boulevard.

Sorry. I'm back.

I heard.

He know what he doing with that.

- So y'all just gonna target our people,

leave them in the dark,

while the white neighborhood shine?

Nah, not on my watch.

- Look, boy, there's a meeting

at the White Power building tonight.

Take your little Nat Turner ass down there and preach, not here.

- You're listening to "The FREQ-y Deeky Report,"

sponsored by Job Malt Liquor.

Remember, if you can't find work,

you can always get a Job.

But right now, we in the studio

with our special guests, Mr. Grover Cummings, whose--

- And I'm Jamal, technical guru.

And I'm announcing it here first.

We coming out with hot new sneaks, The Greezies.

It's the first free throw shoe ever.

Y'all gonna know about us.

- And I'm Milk, the groupie sampler.

No groupie gets to Grover without seeing your boy first.

- Great, let's take some calls.

Caller, you're live on the radio.

- Hey, Grover, it's world-famous

Icy Hot pitchman, Shaquille O'Neal.

I've got some free throw advice.

- Click. Next caller.

- Aye, man, I'm from Cuba Gooding Jr. High.

Go Snow Dogs!

And I don't know about this Grover dude,

but his brother was the shit.

That nigga get bitches.

Maybe instead of retiring his jersey tomorrow,

he could put it on and save you Black Holes.

You know, like a hole?

Like a black hole? Like an asshole.

- First of all, kill yourself.

Second of all, fuck Cuba Gooding Jr.,

his movies and his high school.

And thirdly, I'm guaranteeing my dude

is gonna take us all the way to the championship.

- What the hell you doing-- - Oh, shit.

Grover just guaranteed he's taking Duncan

to the championship.

- Hold up. I never said--

- And he's gonna do it all wearing The Greezies.

Check out our kick'' Kickstarter

so you can holler at some pimps.

- Well, Grover, in a couple of hours,

all eyes will be on you.

So you better make it do what it do.

And I don't know about you,

but I'd be shaking like Terrence Howard's voice

during an orgasm.

- My boy got this. Show her, Grover.

- Ow. Boy, you suck.

- Man, fuck this.

- Oh, shit. Uh, good news.

The Greezies are now half off.

- Oh, come on, come on.

Citizens of Chamberlain Heights,

I'm Dick Skilling,

president of the White Power company.

- Mm-hmm, yup.

- We are working to remedy the rolling blackouts,

and we value each and every one of you,

and I can assure you that our top priority

is your satisfaction.

And to show you how much, we bought you chicken.

Look at all those buckets over there.

Well, that's about it.

Thank you for coming out! - Yup.

- Hey, Dick, I have a question.

How are we supposed to be satisfied when we don't have

the basic means to lead our day-to-day lives?

- Well, if you need help, that's what family is for.

Thanks again for coming out.

- Gone are the days of the system

putting the black community last.

- Which is why we're working so diligently to remedy--

- We're gonna take the power back.

And we demand justice.

all: Yes! - Little bastard.

You don't have the power to demand anything.

Pun intended.

- We're not gonna take this anymore.

We want answers.

- How about a riddle?

What did the evil white man say to the angry black mob?

- I don't know, dude. What?

- Uh, bye!

- Yup.

- What are we going to do now, boss?

- Like I said, we're gonna take the power back.

The revolution will be Snapchatted.

- I see you, Jamal.

You got everybody out here repping The Greezies.

- I'm caked up like Rick Ross' arteries.

- Hey, papi. I like what you working with.

- No offense, but once you go wigger,

you can't get with this nigga.

- Aye, Darius, I'm glad y'all came out

to my jersey retirement, you feel me?

- You know we was gonna hold you down, my G.

- Montrel, my main man, what's up?

- Pow! - Ah! Shit.

Yeah.

- Nigga got a soft-ass neck, caa.

What your bitch-ass want?

- Ah, I just wanted to tell Montrel

he must be proud of his little bro.

- Man, shit, he all right.

- Oh, he's gonna be more than all right if he makes this shot.

- Man, why is everybody tripping on this shot?

They need to be tripping on the after party

for my jersey retirement.

- I'm just saying, he's got a chance

to do something you've never done:

take Duncan to the playoffs.

- Oh, what?

You bringing that up?

- Let me slap this nigga one more again, caa.

- Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, let him live, Shea.

Everybody knows I'm the best player

that's ever played at Duncan.

- I mean, if anybody's jersey deserves to be

in the rafters, it's yours.

But if he makes that shot, it's gonna be

out with the old, in with the new.

- Oh, it's like that, Randy?

Shea, you know what to do.

- Ah.

- Oh! Heh, yeah.

- Aye, you sure you can get us in, Rodrigo?

- I'm Mexican, holmes.

I can get us in anything and stuff.

¿Que pasó, tío?

- Hola, Rodrigito.

Don't steal anything.

- And now, let's bring up the reason

why we're here, Grover motherfucking Cummings.

Man, where the fuck is he at?

- Grover didn't show up?

- I ain't seen him since the radio station.

- Yo, 'Trel, what's up with your

little brother, Grove, man?

- Aye, he's probably scared.

He ain't like us. He's a pussy.

You know what I'm saying?

- Wow, you're still a dick.

Selfish-ass Montrel.

This is why we never voted you team captain.

- Man, y'all just getting soft.

It's just a damn free throw.

It's about me and my accomplishments.

Aye, you want to head back to the crib and hit this dohja?

- Nah, man.

I got a client meeting in San Jose.

- Yeah, and I gots to be in court tomorrow.

- Same old Darius.

What you in for this time?

- Motherfucker, I'm a lawyer.

- Oh, word? - Yeah.

Catch you later, man. Don't change.

Not that I expect that to happen.

- We're in, boss.

What exactly are you looking for?

- I'll know it when I see it.

- Sometimes, you don't make sense, boss.

- Aha! See?

These Saltines have been intentionally shorting

the black side of town so they can send more power

to the white areas.

Then, they borrow power from another city

and dole it out to us at jacked-up prices.

- What's that mean?

Code white! Code white!

- Put everything on a jump drive and let's get out of here.

- You again.

I should've assumed you were a thief.

- What we gonna do now, boss?

- Look! More angry black people.

- Damn. - Yo, Grover, our bad.

I guess we got too caught up in your limelight.

You had more pressure on you

than Steve Harvey reading cue cards.

Just know, whatever happens,

we got your back.

- Yeah, who needs a bunch of big booty

brown bitches bouncing on they nine?

- You guys do. We all do.

This is an opportunity for us to get off the bench.

And if I don't make this shot, Milk,

you'll stay a virgin, and Jamal,

you'll go back to just being fat.

Maybe I just won't take the free throw.

- Then you'll be Montrel's bitch-ass

little brother forever.

- The lights is back on.

What you gonna do, my nig?

- Well, I'm definitely not a bitch-ass.

Let's go.

- I think we're good.

Thank God the lights are back on.

I would've never found your black ass in the dark.

Tsk, tsk, children.

This is what happens when you play grown-up games.

- Wait, don't shoot.

Look, I know what you're up to.

And you're not gonna get away with it.

- Looks like I already did.

- Dick, man, come on, now.

You know you out here overcharging poor people.

Your greed is gonna end up being the downfall of us all.

- This country was built off greed and guns.

Speaking of which...

- Look, if you shoot us,

then the world will know what your plan is.

I'm recording it.

You make one more move, I'll push this button

and send it straight to Snapchat.

And don't get it twisted. I got mad followers.

- Then what do you want? Money?

- I want you to return the power to the people.

I hate you so much right now.

Okay, how can I trust that this is all over

once I do my part?

- You can't, and that's the beauty of it.

That feeling you feel?

That's just a small taste of what it's like to be black.

- But I can't trust that you're gonna do what you say you're--

- Listen, Dick, this is the deal.

I'll hand over the jump drive

as soon as we have our power back.

You have a deal.

You may have won this round, you little black,

brown, and yellow bastards, but I'll be back.

I'll be back!

- Number 54 will be taking the shot.

- Come on, motherfucker, get this shit over with.

"Hoarders" is about to come on, and it's a marathon.

all: Grover, Grover, Grover, Grover, Grover,

Grover, Grover, Grover...

- Aye, Shea, you think I'm a dick?

- Aye, you not coming out to me, right?

- All I'm saying, Shea, is that I earned

my jersey retirement.

Why I got to share it with him?

- I don't know, caa.

- I try to be a good big brother

to this little motherfucker, but what about my needs?

Can't 'Trel get some love? Is that so wrong?

- Aye, if you got to ask, caa, then it probably is.

Now, will you shut the fuck up?

all: Grover, Grover, Grover, Grover, Grover,

Grover, Grover, Grover...

- Aye, your brother don't look right, caa.

- God damn it, I'm not coming back tomorrow.

- Aye, Grover, Grover, wake up!

- Aye, man, what happened?

- Man, you can't stand up there trembling like a bitch.

You got the opportunity to do something

that Duncan has never done before.

All you got to do is step up there,

grab your dick, and do the damn thing.

'Cause real talk, I didn't get it done.

So it's up to you.

- What if I miss?

Then I'll go back to being in your shadow.

- Aye, listen to me.

And this is coming straight from the heart sincerely.

You ain't as good as me.

You never will be as good as me.

You'll never be the ball player that I am.

But you can be the ball player that you was meant to be.

- Thanks, Montrel.

- Stop looking at me like that.

- Aye, you ready for a nigga to put this fuse back in, caa?

- Montrel, you turned the lights off?

- Man, get your ass out there.

The team is waiting on you.

Kick rocks.

both: Legend!

- Yeah!

- That's my little brother, though.

- Aye, I know you ain't crying, motherfucker.

- Man, our first playoff game?

We definitely about to get our nuts.

- Not only that.

Cindy agreed to go out with your boy.

So I'm about to punch my V-card tonight.

- That make two of us.

But I'm going for my V and my A.

- Just think of where we were a year ago.

We finally legends, my nigs.

- And making his starting debut at guard,

Grover Cummings!

- All right, my nigs.

It's time to make history.

male narrator: Grover went on

to start his first playoff game.

Duncan lost 130 to 12.

However, Grover did score two points.

Unfortunately, it was for the other team.

Needless to say, Cindy did not

go out with him that night.

Milk did go home with some brown round.

It was Rhiyoncé.

Unfortunately, she had a headache that night,

so he ain't get no ass.

Jamal celebrated his new-found wealth at Pie-HOP.

Unfortunately, he was robbed of his cash and his merch.

Dumb bitch.

Montrel decided to turn his life around,

and he applied for several jobs.

Ten minutes later, he used the applications

to roll joints and fell asleep on the couch,

like a real nigga.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm, yup.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, yup.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm!