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- And now, back to "Real Housewives of Minnesota."
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- Did you hear the latest drama?
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Oh, Ian was driving by the house and saw Nate
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in his driveway, doncha know, and Nate didn't wave hello.
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- Oh, yah? You think everything is okay with Nate there, then?
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Oh, maybe we should bake him a hot dish.
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- Yah. - Oh, yah.
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- Oh, yah. - Yah.
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- The fuck you got me watching, Jamal?
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Where the fake-tittied, crazy-ass,
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table-flipping bitches? - Wait till Barbara comes in.
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She made Frank a delicious lutefisk
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and he returned the dish unwashed.
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- Aye, your understanding of Minnesota households
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is on some next level shit. - Shh!
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I'm trying to listen so I know when to call in
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and win these tickets.
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- Grover, you been trying all week
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and you been dying all week.
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- 92.3, the FREQ. Who wants to get laced
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with box seats for the last game of the season,
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featuring LeBron vs. the L.A. team that's not the Lakers?
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Be caller number ten to answer the question of the day.
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- Box seats? I gotta get those.
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- It's ringing!
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- All right, congratulations! You're caller number ten.
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You have ten seconds to answer this:
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Name a black life the Kardashians have not ruined.
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- Uh, it's not Lamar. They killed him twice.
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- It's not Kanye. They got him dressing
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like a slave and begging for money on Twitter.
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What about Reggie Bush?
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- Shit, they took his Heisman and his ACL.
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- Five seconds. - Um--
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- Think, Grover! Who haven't they ruined?
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- I don't know. It's too many!
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- Two seconds. - Shit, I don't know.
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Uh, Ray J? - I'm sorry.
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The correct answer is Brandy's brother.
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- Ray J is Brandy's brother.
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- Wait a minute, I'm Googling. Yes, congratulations!
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- Aw, hell, yeah! - What!
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- We got the best seats in the house!
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Turn up, Legends. Turn all the way up.
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- Aye, what's up. I'm Brandy's brother.
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Aye, they hooked y'all up with Twizzlers, too?
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- Oh, hell no!
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- Damn, my dudes, we higher than a white girl at an EDM concert.
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- Getting light-headed.
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I need oxygens. And a honey bun.
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- The FREQ got us up here with the third-tier groupies.
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- Somebody getting me pregnant tonight.
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I don't care if it is Clipper Darrell.
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- You see baby girl over there?
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Yeah, I'ma make a tape with her.
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- We gotta get out of here. I came to see dunks by LeBron,
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not skeets by Ray J.
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- Peep, there go three seats right there.
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Let's gank those bitches.
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- Come on, man! Those is reserved
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for the physically unfortunate.
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We can't sit there. - Yeah!
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How you gonna talk your way into that?
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- My mom said we sitting dere.
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I took da bus here.
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Da driver let me honk da horn.
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It went "beep beep!"
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- Here's your complimentary bibs.
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And remember, keep your drool off the floor
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and your dick in your pants.
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Enjoy the game.
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- This shit don't feel right, my dudes.
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In my souls and everything. - Yeah, I'm with Grover.
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- Damn, y'all acting like bitch-ass Minnesota housewives.
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I'm untouchable. Check this out.
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- Hey, mother-- - Der!
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- Oh, it's okay, little fella.
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- See? Y'all still think my idea was off?
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- Yeah. I think I'ma bounce.
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Ooh, shit, Bron Bron's coming our way.
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Oh, my God, he touched me.
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I'll never jerk off with any other hand again.
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- Special gifts for our special guests.
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- Ooh. - Oh, I see you.
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- Damn, she thicker than a Snicker.
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See? Y'all still trying to bounce?
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- Shit!
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Mmm.
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- Hey, kids. I got something for you.
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You get the shorts, you get the drawers
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and uh, don't mind the light boo boo stain.
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- Damn! You are the king!
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- I love you, LeBron. - What he write?
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- "Thanks for keeping your dick in your pants.
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"The other team could've used you tonight.
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"Watch 'Survivor's Remorse' on Showtime--I mean Starz.
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Your pal, LeBron."
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- Man, ain't nobody trying to watch that bullshit.
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- Yeah, that shit sucks!
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- What's the word, Cyril?
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- The word, Montrel, is "concentrate."
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- You mean to focus one's attention or mental effort
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on a particular object or activity?
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- No, I mean we just got in this new wax concentrate.
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It's called "Kush-topher Reeves."
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It's for dabbing.
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- Man, that's offensive. Just give me that Ricky Retardo.
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- Suit yourself, but you don't know what you missing.
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- Okay. You see, now a nigga kind of curious.
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What's so super about that "Kush-topher Reeves"?
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- Nothing at all, unless you want to feel
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like the first time you smoked.
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- Montrel, you look tense.
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You need to relax, and I know just the trick.
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- You know I don't touch that shit, Mahogony.
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It'll affect my game and my grades.
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My body is a temple.
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- So is mine, and this afternoon's service
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is about to begin.
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- Oh, word.
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- You okay? - Bitch, I'm fine.
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Just give me another hit. - You smoked it all up.
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- Here, take my scholarship and roll me another one.
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Yeah, fuck college!
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Aye, let's do it.
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- I still can't believe the king touched my jerk-off hand.
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- Yep. Now LeBron's gonna be on your dick.
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- We finally about to become legends.
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- What up, Grove? I see you, bruh.
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- If you break the seal, I swear to God I'ma kill you,
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with my other hand.
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- Aye, you owned it with that Vine of you
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motorboating that cheerleader.
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- Damn, Janky, get off my nuts.
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Shit, you could've been down there too with that eye.
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- Milk! When you gonna call me?
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- When you get a tan and grow some cheeks, Miss No Booty.
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You know I don't mess with them Beckys.
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- Hey, ass lizards!
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Who did you have to blow to get those seats?
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- All the flavors in the world, and you choose to be salty.
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Don't down us, crown us.
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- Wegro, please.
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Y'all got a little shine for now.
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But don't let it go to your head.
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You got Grover and Jamal to do that for you.
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Get it? 'Cause they suck your dick.
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Man, fuck y'all.
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- Randy, you ain't funny. Man, your jokes suck,
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but you still better than Nick Cannon.
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all: Mark!
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- Aye, what the hell?
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"I no wat u dud lat knife asshoo?"
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Man, what the fuck is a "asshoo"?
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- Let me see that.
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Got all kind of misspelled words in this thing.
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It's either from Floyd Mayweather or 2 Chainz.
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- "Whoever this is, everybody know what I did last night.
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'Cause I do dope shit."
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"No, you're full of shit, and I'ma beaf it out you?"
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I'm at school trying to meet some breezys
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and this shit is crimpin' my pimpin'.
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- "Hey, Wic Woss.
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"How about you tell Grover to stop smelling
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"his LeBron hand, and tell that pussy Milk
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to turn his phone back on."
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Oh shit! Whoever the hell it is can see us.
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Look! Who's on they phone?
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all: Aah!
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- Pineapple Shasta, boom.
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Hennessy and cigarette-flavored Lay's, bang.
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Some Thuggies adult diapers, heh.
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Better safe than sorry.
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- Leave it to a negro to exert
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all this energy just to be lazy.
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- Aye, if I wanted to hear a tiny nigga talk
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nonsensical nonsense, I'd listen to a Kendrick Lamar album.
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- You know, Montrel, I think you have a lot of potential,
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but you need to get it together, 'cause in a few years,
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when you actually do need that diaper changed,
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I ain't gonna be the one changing it.
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Deuces. - Aye, come on, man.
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Stall me out. I got a medical condition.
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- Yeah, it's called complacency.
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- I'm telling you, it's Dyslexic Donny.
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He crazy.
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You ever seen him eat mashed potatoes?
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Fuhh!
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- He drinks the gravy first.
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He don't understand how mashed potatoes work.
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- Donny's backward ass gonna have to see about me.
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I'll hit him so hard, I'll make him lexic again.
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- All right, class. Settle down, settle down.
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Today we're gonna be dissecting the fetal pigs before you,
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really neat stuff.
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all: Ugh!
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- Anybody got any Thousand Island? Ha ha ha!
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- Uh, Mr. Green? - Don't interrupt me, Jarvis.
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Now, your specimens are preserved in formaldehyde
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to maintain its natural state.
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- Seriously, Mr. Green?
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- Jarvis, please! Now, for your own safety,
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the pigs are dipped in formaldehyde...
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- Ooh. Ooh, shit!
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Aah!
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It's alive! Oh, Lord, it's alive!
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- Ooh, watch out.
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- Ugh! I got pig skeet on me!
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all: Kill the pig. Cut its throat.
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- Let's make some bacon!
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- Y'all should be ashamed!
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This is one of God's creatures.
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It deserves a second chance at life, like Cracky.
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I'm gonna take her home. I'm gonna love you
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and take care of you and we're gonna be best friends forev--
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Oh, well. Shit happens.
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- Damn, that pig skeeted all on my Bron jersey.
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"U R necks?"
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Dyslexic Donny trying to punk me.
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And I ain't no bitch.
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It's time to go handle that mark.
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Donny! Where you at, caa? Show yourself, fool!
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- There his bitch ass go right there.
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- Break yourself, fool.
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You put me on blast with them swine intestines.
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What's up now, we got a problem?
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We got a problem here? - Uh, do I did what?
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- You know what you did, you dyslexic-ass bitch.
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Trying to scare me and shit.
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- We're gonna kick your fuckin' ass!
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- Nothing do didn't I! Nothing do didn't I!
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- Hey, why don't you pick on someone
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who speaks in your own direction?
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- Man, who the hell is you?
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- I'm Ted. Special Ted.
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- What the hell you want, Special Ted?
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- I sent you the texts.
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- You're a terrible speller.
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- I know how to spell
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perpetrating the handicap, bitch!
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- Well, I don't, but...
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Anyways, I saw Milk on TV pretending to be like me
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so he could sit courtside last night.
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- Uh-uh. You wrong for that.
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- So we gonna do this or what?
253
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:28,492
- Man, don't be retarded. I can't fight you, Sling Blade.
254
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,495
- You can't not not fight him
255
00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:33,564
just because he's differently abled.
256
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,032
I say whoop his ass, baby!
257
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:38,035
- You ready to feel the wrath of the baby arm or what?
258
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,704
- Yeah, you have to fight him. Otherwise, it's discrimination.
259
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:44,074
- Aye, I don't discriminate. How about I beat your ass, then?
260
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,643
- Why? Just because I have two typical
261
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,312
arms and feet like you? You disgust me, bro!
262
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,781
- Able-ist! - Having nothing wrong
263
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:52,316
don't make you all right.
264
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,652
all: Able-ist! Able-ist!
265
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,922
- Game time's over, homey. You want to get your ass beat?
266
00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:58,923
'Cause I'm about that life.
267
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:01,091
- After school. Meet me in front.
268
00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:03,294
- Ain't nothing but a word. 3:00.
269
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:06,330
- Make it 2:20. We get out early.
270
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,965
One more thing.
271
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:09,834
LeBron's a pussy!
272
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:10,568
- Aye, hold me back!
273
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:13,304
- Get him, Ted!
274
00:11:16,541 --> 00:11:19,810
275
00:11:45,604 --> 00:11:46,370
- Just what I thought.
276
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,305
Still posted up on the couch doing nothing.
277
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,541
What do you have to say for yourself?
278
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,844
- Help...me...
279
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,713
- Wait, what'd you say?
280
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,648
- Help me, nigga.
281
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:58,716
- You're finally asking for help?
282
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,752
Aw, man, I've been waiting for this moment my whole life.
283
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,020
I'll be right back.
284
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:04,522
Okay, we'll start with "The Black Sea Scrolls"
285
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:08,459
by Dr. Professor Rashad Muhammad Abdul Raheem Hightower, D.D.S.
286
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,328
Page one. "In the beginning, there was black.
287
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:12,997
And the word was 'black.'"
288
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:18,102
And, Montrel, "black" was the word.
289
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,907
290
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:23,741
- Real talk, my nigs.
291
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,043
I'm real conscientious about this fight.
292
00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:27,978
- I'm not just fighting Drool Moe Dee.
293
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:28,846
I'm fighting prejudice.
294
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:31,181
Besides, that's what the people want.
295
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:31,749
Oof!
296
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,484
Ahh! Yo, homey-- - Shut up.
297
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,885
- Mr. Green? - Look, Milk.
298
00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:36,787
Please don't fight Special Ted.
299
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:37,888
- Don't worry, Mr. Green.
300
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,390
I ain't finna fuck him up too bad.
301
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:42,159
I'll even let him wear one of them helmets.
302
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:42,993
- No, you dipshit.
303
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:44,461
You're the one that needs the helmet.
304
00:12:44,463 --> 00:12:46,764
Special Ted has been terrorizing the school
305
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,098
for the last ten years.
306
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,400
First it was the students,
307
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,335
but then he started bullying the teachers.
308
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,304
- We talking about the same special kid
309
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,138
that Velcro his Tims?
310
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,773
- Listen, I didn't always have this limp.
311
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,808
See, Ted got tired of people making fun of him.
312
00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:01,078
So he figured, if you can't join 'em, beat 'em,
313
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:01,946
until they're crippled!
314
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:05,249
You're never gonna win, son. He's got special needs strength!
315
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:07,184
- Oh, shit. He gonna kill me, huh?
316
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:09,553
- If you're lucky. Run, Milk, run!
317
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,755
- Run where? - It doesn't matter.
318
00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:12,790
Run, damn it, run!
319
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:17,161
Run while both your legs still work!
320
00:13:19,764 --> 00:13:21,532
- This some bullshit. I can't win.
321
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,867
- It's a classic double-headed dildo.
322
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:24,835
- Yeah, you fuck both ways.
323
00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:27,905
- If you fight him, you're a bully who picks on special kids.
324
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:28,772
Nobody'll like you.
325
00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:30,507
- You'll probably have to switch schools
326
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:31,675
and change your name to Taylor.
327
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:33,978
- But if you don't fight him-- - Then you a vagina.
328
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:37,047
- No, y'all ain't feeling me. I can't win, literally!
329
00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:40,284
Special Ted a full-on beast. He got bodies, yo.
330
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:43,420
He gonna dogwalk me in front of the entire school.
331
00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:45,656
Man, I ain't never gonna get no ass after that.
332
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,092
- Oh, you about to be joyful, my nig.
333
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:49,526
I got this. - See?
334
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:51,528
Knew I could count on you. What we doing?
335
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:53,263
- Oldest trick in the book.
336
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,666
337
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,868
Hello, you've reached the Duncan High School
338
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,069
Bomb Threat Hotline.
339
00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:00,738
Your bomb threat is important to us.
340
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,272
Please stay on the line and--
341
00:14:02,274 --> 00:14:03,774
- Oh, well. Guess this is what you get
342
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:07,878
for coming at Short Bus Deebo. Good luck.
343
00:14:10,215 --> 00:14:11,582
- And that's how Yakub created
344
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,218
the evil white man using two magnets.
345
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,820
I know, right? I was speechless too when I first read it.
346
00:14:16,822 --> 00:14:18,222
- That's right, big bro.
347
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:22,793
Get all those evil white toxins out your system.
348
00:14:23,928 --> 00:14:25,729
- Where you been at? Last time we saw you
349
00:14:25,731 --> 00:14:27,464
you was sitting in the bathroom stall
350
00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:29,366
crying like a little bitch.
351
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:32,536
- Why you bringing up old shit? I got a plan now.
352
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:33,604
- You got Floyd Mayweather?
353
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:37,675
- I'm looking for a, um...Muh--Mo--
354
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,643
Muh--M--um, one--
355
00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:40,944
Fuck it. Which one of y'all is this nigga?
356
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:43,213
- Yeah, that's me, homey. I'm a real big fan--
357
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,416
- Fuck all that. You got my paper?
358
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,384
Now, where is he? - His name's Ted.
359
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,853
He in the library. - Liberry? What's that?
360
00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:52,256
- It's like a gym with books.
361
00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:54,091
- Now, that's interesting. I never heard of it.
362
00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:56,994
- He right in there. Now go beat his ass.
363
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:59,563
- Yeah, I'm looking for Ted.
364
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,636
- Told y'all he'd mop his ass up.
365
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,539
That's what I'm talking about, my nig--
366
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:09,873
all: Aah!
367
00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:10,774
- What the fuh?
368
00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:14,144
- Guess I just gotta go in there and holler at Corky myself,
369
00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:17,147
man-to-special-man-like.
370
00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:20,918
- Peace offering, homey. Take it.
371
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,253
Let's squash this beef like Nicki and Miley.
372
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,590
- You want to pay me just so you don't have to fight?
373
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:29,693
- Call it what you want, but don't tell nobody.
374
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:31,295
I got a rep. - Hmm.
375
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:33,731
I could get a new orthopedic Tim.
376
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,966
- Yeah, get it with extra Velcro.
377
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:37,868
- Okay, you got a deal. - Cool.
378
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,671
Maybe I'll even let you kick it with me once in a blue.
379
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:43,474
- You kidding me? I don't need your money!
380
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,643
I get plenty of cash from the government.
381
00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:48,645
Disability, cocksucker.
382
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:51,615
You're the punkest-ass white bitch I ever met!
383
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,551
- What did you call me? - I called you a bitch.
384
00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:57,020
- No, before that. - Punk-ass?
385
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,789
- No, after that? - White?
386
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,624
- Nobody calls me that. Fuck you.
387
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,894
Fuck close parking, and fuck your personal bathroom.
388
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,796
- Well, fuck you too, Meek Milk!
389
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:06,697
- Oh, it's like that?
390
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,632
Okay, okay, you Special Olympics,
391
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:11,568
slobber-on-the-chin, HGH-strength-having,
392
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:13,103
Cuba-Gooding-as- Radio-idolizing,
393
00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:14,938
graham-cracker-eating muthafucker!
394
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:19,176
- You Ebonics-talking, sticker-on-your-cap-wearing,
395
00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:21,879
jeans-sagging, act-like you-from-the-hood-
396
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:25,215
but-your-house-has-three- stories, Vanilla Ice,
397
00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:30,420
Slim Shady, Slim Jesus, wanksta wiggaboo.
398
00:16:30,422 --> 00:16:33,423
- That's it. You about to catch a fade, homey.
399
00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:37,261
- The parking lot. And you better not bitch out.
400
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,231
Oh, God.
401
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:44,668
Just please don't let him cripple my dick.
402
00:16:46,604 --> 00:16:48,839
- Okay, we moving, but now what you need
403
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,140
is a Spike Lee marathon.
404
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:51,875
We gonna start with "Bamboozled," okay?
405
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:55,612
Hold that pose. I'll go get the DVDs.
406
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,483
- Yo, you know the "D" to the "R" to the--
407
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:00,317
Anyways, fuck all that.
408
00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:02,352
Just leave a number after the beep, nigga, damn!
409
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,021
- Yo, Montrel, what's up? It's Kobe.
410
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,356
Is that an answering machine? Like, with a tape?
411
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:07,624
Damn, you keeping it really real.
412
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:09,760
Look, now that Kobe's legs have betrayed him,
413
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,295
forcing him into retirement, Kobe was able
414
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,130
to talk Jeannie into giving you a ten-day contract.
415
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:15,732
- - So hit Kobe back ASAP.
416
00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:17,367
Hold it, hold on, hold on. What did you say, Kobe?
417
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,837
Kobe says I gotta go now. Kobe!
418
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,171
- Boy, you done came up today.
419
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:23,340
I also have "The Making of 'Bamboozled.'"
420
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,776
Just 25 hours of Spike Lee, and then we'll finish strong
421
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,612
with the "Where Are We Now?" Black People's Conference
422
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,280
hosted by Cornel West.
423
00:17:30,282 --> 00:17:31,682
- Oh, shit!
424
00:17:33,551 --> 00:17:35,419
- You really about to fight this dude?
425
00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:37,087
- I have to, homey. I ain't no punk.
426
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:39,690
The most successful people in America is pretenders.
427
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,391
Tupac pretending to be dead.
428
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,759
Drake pretending he can sing.
429
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:44,962
The WNBA pretending to be a sport.
430
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,296
I was pretending to be disabled.
431
00:17:46,298 --> 00:17:48,031
That's what real ones do. We pretend.
432
00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:50,767
So you know what I say? I say let the hustlers play.
433
00:17:50,769 --> 00:17:53,604
And if I have to fight for it, I'ma fight for it.
434
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:56,840
- Wow! That is some of the stupidest shit
435
00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:58,108
ever uttered, my nig.
436
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:00,744
- You kind of deserve to catch a beatdown for that alone.
437
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,847
- Man, whatever. Y'all can't feel my passions.
438
00:18:04,816 --> 00:18:08,852
- Hurry up and put this little shit stain out of his misery!
439
00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:09,953
Mom's waiting in the car.
440
00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:11,788
- Stop telling me what to do, Thea.
441
00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:17,227
I haven't gotten pussy like this in a long time.
442
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:20,130
I plan to enjoy it.
443
00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:23,400
- Look, I checked around,
444
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:25,769
and you need to watch out for the baby arm.
445
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:26,670
It's small and raptor-y,
446
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,605
but there's some dense cartilage in that bitch.
447
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:33,076
You do not want to take baby arm to the face.
448
00:18:33,978 --> 00:18:35,312
- Stop dancing and fight! - Whatever, then.
449
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,047
Let's get it then, homey. - You're right, Ted.
450
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:41,318
This guy is the biggest bitch-ass pussy I ever seen.
451
00:18:42,453 --> 00:18:47,624
Kick his ass, Ted!
452
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,459
- Tell your ugly-ass brother to shut up.
453
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,328
- What did you say, you little punk?
454
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:53,330
- You don't want to make her angry.
455
00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:55,632
You won't like her when she's angry.
456
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,701
- Man, come on. He can't fight no girl.
457
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,069
- That's right. I can't.
458
00:18:59,071 --> 00:18:59,870
You lucky I'm a man.
459
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,372
I ain't fighting no big, hairy-chested mountain bitch,
460
00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:04,474
even one as fugly as you.
461
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:05,509
- Grr! - Aah!
462
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:06,276
- The hell you doing?
463
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:08,045
- Self-preservation. It's a white thang.
464
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:11,214
- Don't you get it? It's the reverse Ray Rice.
465
00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:14,151
Milk might take a beating, but he won't hit a girl
466
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,219
and that'll make him a--
467
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:16,954
- Legend.
468
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,991
- What do you think of that now, huh?
469
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:21,558
Argh!
470
00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:23,894
Like that? Smell it!
471
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,696
- Throw the damn towel!
472
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,397
- Come on, Milk. You got this.
473
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:28,165
Represent the Legends.
474
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,366
You don't want to end up on Worldstar.
475
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:32,936
- I can't fight her either. I can't hit a bitch.
476
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,072
- Ha! I can.
477
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:42,079
- Damn! That's gonna make his voice annoyingly high.
478
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,780
What?
479
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:46,183
- What the hell y'all laughing at?
480
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,150
both: Uh, nothing?
481
00:19:47,152 --> 00:19:52,155
both: Aah! Aah! Aah!
482
00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:55,225
- Not the baby arm!
483
00:19:56,794 --> 00:19:59,062
- So there you have it. Cornel West and Spike Lee.
484
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:00,430
The only way you'll feel blacker
485
00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:02,232
is if you watch it on stolen cable.
486
00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:03,233
What do you think?
487
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:05,235
- Aw, I'm in a school daze,
488
00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,970
but I feel like doing the right thing.
489
00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:09,272
And even though she's gotta have it,
490
00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:10,874
I no longer have jungle fever.
491
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:14,644
- Okay, I might have overdone it with the Spike Lee movies,
492
00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:16,179
but welcome to the struggle, brother.
493
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:18,682
You are no longer a negro in my eyes.
494
00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:19,416
You are a black man.
495
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:21,118
- Thanks for not giving up on me, Malik.
496
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,953
- A'ight. I need to go hold down the block.
497
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,956
Brother, I'll never forget the day we bonded.
498
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,692
- My past will never be my future.
499
00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:29,960
- Peace.
500
00:20:30,628 --> 00:20:32,462
But my present is a gift!
501
00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:34,197
Gullible-ass nigga.
502
00:20:40,171 --> 00:20:43,840
- You know, liquid nachos ain't all that bad, my nigs.
503
00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:46,243
- At least we earned these seats this time.
504
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:49,846
- Yeah, that's a good one. Hey, I got a few ideas
505
00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:51,081
I want to pitch y'all.
506
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,983
- Aw, hell, no.
507
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:56,420
38303
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