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1
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- Yo, why you look so tired, my dude?
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- Stayed up late watching "New Jack City."
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That joint got fire-ass quotables.
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Sit your $5-ass down
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before I make change.
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- "Never liked you anyway, pretty motherfucker."
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- Bro, Wesley Snipes the GOAT-- "White Men Can't Jump,"
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"Passenger 57,"
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"To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar."
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- Man, how you gonna name that "Wong Foo" shit
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and not drop "Jungle Fever?"
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Y'all don't know shit.
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- Yeah, "Jungle Fever" was my shit.
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Mama, I smoked the TV.
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Now pay attention to the goddamn game!
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- Damn Milk, I didn't know
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"Jungle Fever" meant so much to you.
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- Yeah, we enjoy watching Snipes take down Beckys
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as much as anybody.
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No need to get testy with Wesley.
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- My bad, y'all. I'm tripping.
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Uncle Joey got my shit twisted.
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- What'd you do now, Milk?
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- He on some ole "send me away" 'cause
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my YouTube show about to blow shit.
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- You got a YouTube show? What's it called?
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- "Got You, Motherfucker!"
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-
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You put baby powder in my blow dryer?
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- Nah, I put blow in your blow dryer.
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- What? -
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Got you, motherfucker.
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-
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Milton, get down here; we're gonna be late for synagogue.
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The hell?
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Is this honey? Why would--Milton!
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- Got you, motherfucker.
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- Get out the car, you cracker-ass cracker,
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and leave the shit running.
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- Please, don't hurt me.
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- Knew you was a mark-ass bitch, caa!
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- Milton!
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- G--got you, moth...
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- That's it, Milton!
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You're out!
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- So that square Uncle Joey booted me,
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signed me up for the student exchange program.
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- Oh, for real? Foreign breezies love Americans.
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Where he sending you? France, Japan, Swedish?
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- Man, Ubombastan.
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- Damn, Milk.
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- Well, I'm finna just pour out
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a little something for you now.
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- What's that supposed to mean?
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- It means you better learn how to throw rocks
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'cause you dead, motherfucker!
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- Up late watching more Snipes films?
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- Not exactly; C-SPAN broadcast a debate
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concerning the contradictions of the Second Amendment.
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I couldn't turn away.
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- How ironic that 150 years after his assassination,
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the Party of Lincoln
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is in favor of allowing guns in theaters.
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- My sentiments exactly.
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- I ain't gonna lie, this shit is weird without Milk here
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reinforcing negative stereotypes.
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- You ain't never lied. Look at me.
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I'm eating kale.
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There's no way that wigger would let me eat kale.
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both: Ow!
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- Oh, shit, white boy's missing. Oh, well!
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Black-on-black crime! both: Ow!
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- Damn, homey, we need to find a Milk replacement quick.
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- Where you going, homey?
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- Uh, to the bathroom?
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- That's all you better be doing.
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That goes for all y'all.
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I swear if I hear any one of you
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sand marks hollering gibberish,
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I'll jihad the shit out of your ass.
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See about me. - You, shut up, sit down.
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- Who said that? Stand your bitch-ass up.
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- Aw, man, I didn't know one time was on this shit.
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- Thank you, Marshall.
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He got some potential.
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- Working parents, two cars, a house.
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So you know the credit score is strong.
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- We might need to put a phone in his name one day.
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- A couple of red flags, though.
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He has three siblings, so disposable income
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might be limited.
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And looking at his mom's Facebook page,
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her titties is average, at best.
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- 'Tis true. Next!
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State your name, please.
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- I'm Brad Deekenmouf.
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Thanks for the great opportunity, guys.
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- Say your last name again.
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- Deekenmouf.
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- One more time, please. Slower.
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- Deek-en-mouf. It's German.
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- Okay, Deekenmouf, as you know,
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we're looking for a token white guy to kick it with us.
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What do you bring to the table that we might not see here?
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- Well, I'm on the student council,
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so I have access to hall passes, the teachers' lounge,
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and Half-Day Fridays.
120
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- What brand of macaroni would I find in your cupboards?
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- We don't have a cupboard; we have a walk-in pantry.
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- I thought those only existed in movies.
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- And to answer your question, Velveeta.
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- You got the job, homey.
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- Ladies and gentlemen, we will begin
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our descent into Ubombastan in a few short moments.
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Thank you for flying Air Persian,
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where we're just as happy
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to land safely as you are, ha-ha.
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- Damn, my nigs, these Thotty Pippens out here
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looking staler than dollar store bread.
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I'll still eat, though.
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- Maybe the new exchange student will help mix it up.
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- Is it a girl? - She sure is.
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I was picked by the principal to chaperone her,
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but why don't we chaperone her together?
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It could be fun. - Decent idea, my nig.
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- Thanks, my nigs. Ow!
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- You doing good, Deekenmouf,
141
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but don't take it there, my dude.
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- Damn. Ah.
143
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- Oh, she think she cute, huh?
144
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all together: Mm-hmm.
145
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- Hi, I'm Brad Deekenmouf.
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These are my friends, Grover and Jamal.
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We're your chaperones.
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- Am pleased to meet you. I am Isis.
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- Oh, that's a pretty name
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and a sexy body, Isis.
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Bet you "be heading" dudes back home.
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When you need somebody to
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show you what's good at Duncan,
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ask for the sexy booty captain of the hoop squad,
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uh--me.
156
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- I believe someone already has that job.
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- Nah, baby, you don't get it.
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I'm the king ding-a-lang around here, all right?
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You want to be seen with me, not--
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-
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- Be right there, bae.
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- Come on, Isis, let's get you checked in.
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- Mm, mm-mm. - Damn.
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- Let me holler at you for a second, Grover.
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I know you're gonna try to hit that, right?
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- I'll probably invade her Gaza Strip,
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if she play her cards right.
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- I'd do anything to see that body bucket-naked.
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Let's make a deal: get me a naked picture
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of Isis before the next game,
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and I'll pull a couple of groins
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and let you take my spot for one game.
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But if you trick it off, you have to wear
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a burka on the bench. Bet?
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- You're on. - Good shit.
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Game's in two days. Looking forward to that picture.
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I know it's gonna be "the bomb."
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Man, fuck y'all.
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- Man, what's up with you and that fish,
181
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some buddy-buddy type shit?
182
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- He gonna try to get a picture of that new girl naked.
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I'll forward it to the coach,
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tell him where it came from,
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and boom!
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That's the end of the shit crew.
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- Oh! You a cold-blooded genius,
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Randy, on some "black-ass Stephen Hawking" type shit.
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- I don't know what he wanted,
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but I do know that you can't trust his mark ass.
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- He wants me to get a naked pic of Isis.
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So we gonna get the pic, put it on Randy's phone,
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and make sure Cindy see it.
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Next thing you know, she's calling me for comfort.
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And guess what? Here I come, here I come.
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both: Here I kitty-come-come.
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- Watch me whip. Watch me nae nae, fellas.
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- This nigga.
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Let's see what kind of third-world shithole
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they got your boy in.
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I know it's gonna smell like hummus and poverty.
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- You are the one they call "Milk."
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- Depends on who asking. - I am Isil.
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They exchanged you for my sister, Isis.
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I am your host for your stay in Ubombastan.
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Milk? - Yeah, what's up?
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- Do you like to
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turn up?
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- She's straight messing up the vibe around here.
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- It's our jobs to look cute and get flirted with.
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I mean, who does she think she is
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coming over here, taking our jobs?
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- All I know is my Instagram likes is down 33%
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since this bitch showed up, and it's only been a day.
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Ugh.
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Isis got to go.
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all together: Mm-hmm. - She gots to go.
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- Her outfit is kind of cute, though.
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all together: Mm-hmm.
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- Mm, now that you mention it, girl,
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I would wear that.
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- Y'all want to go join Isis?
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all together: Mm-hmm.
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- Isis, hey, girl!
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- Good day at school?
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- Everyone was very kind, thank you.
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- Good, this is just a routine check.
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It's random, so don't be offended.
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- Everything is fine, Mr. Uncle Joey.
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- Well that's good to--
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Hey, who told you about that name?
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My name is Dave!
235
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- I feel like she'd let me
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get in them cheeks with a little effort.
237
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- I'm just trying to find a way to connect
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so I can get this photo op.
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- All you got to do is bring her
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a bean pie and a "Final Call,"
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rub her body down with some essential oils
242
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while listening to a Farrakhan mixtape,
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and you in there, pimp.
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- Different Islam, my nig.
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- Maybe you could learn about her culture.
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It'll give you something to talk about with her.
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Come on, let me show you.
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- Man, we just got off school,
249
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and you talking about learning stuff.
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Not chilling, not chilling, learning stuff.
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Oh.
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Ledge.
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- Yeah, I fucks with Deekenmouf.
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- Okay, guys, let's fill our heads with knowledge.
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- Ah.
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- Man, these dust busters is gangster-er than a mug,
259
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but I still don't know how to get Isis naked.
260
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- Does anybody else feel like blowing something up,
261
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or is it just me?
262
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263
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- Milk, take my hand, and I will show you
264
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:16,286
how we mehmooni in my home.
265
00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:18,455
- Okay then. Hey.
266
00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:20,124
267
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:21,425
all: Surprise!
268
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:23,794
- Jeah, I know y'all got the snaps on the petro,
269
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:25,796
so let's give it up for my boy Milk.
270
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:28,799
Jeah.
271
00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:31,168
- Yo, how you know Eiht was that dude for me?
272
00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:31,935
- I did not know.
273
00:09:31,937 --> 00:09:34,171
He is that dude for me, also.
274
00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:37,274
275
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:43,147
276
00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:47,084
- Kiss my black ass, America.
277
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,886
I ain't never coming back.
278
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:54,558
- Captain!
279
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,260
A Jew-American with spiky hair
280
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,261
is at an illegal mehmooni.
281
00:09:57,263 --> 00:10:00,798
And he's dancing; he's drinking; and he's high-fiving.
282
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:01,632
- Spiky hair?
283
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,967
He's American and homosexual?
284
00:10:03,969 --> 00:10:06,003
He does not leave alive.
285
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:09,873
286
00:10:10,843 --> 00:10:12,009
- Hey, Grover.
287
00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:13,410
- Cindy?
288
00:10:16,381 --> 00:10:19,817
- Nicca, what?
289
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:20,951
- Which one is Isis?
290
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:25,289
- Hey, man.
291
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,491
- Ugh, what the hell are all these chickenheads wearing?
292
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:29,326
- Man, these chicks on some new and improved
293
00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:31,128
Original Recipe KFC type shit.
294
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,597
- Over there, is that Isis?
295
00:10:34,999 --> 00:10:35,833
296
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:36,700
- Yeah, that's her.
297
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:38,802
I recognize that ass from my dreams.
298
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:39,670
We should follow her.
299
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:41,238
- You guys want to skip school?
300
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:41,972
That's awesome.
301
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,740
I've always wanted to skip school.
302
00:10:43,742 --> 00:10:45,108
Y'all are so cool.
303
00:10:45,110 --> 00:10:47,377
- Man, stop being a white-ass nig!
304
00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:48,679
- I'm saying, though, that's why
305
00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:50,581
"Rugrats" is really about black genocide.
306
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:53,383
And man, don't even get me started on "Frozen."
307
00:10:53,385 --> 00:10:54,618
- What's up, little brody?
308
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,119
You see a girl in a burka come through here?
309
00:10:56,121 --> 00:10:57,921
- Burka, huh? Yeah, I got mixed feelings
310
00:10:57,923 --> 00:10:58,889
about those. - Malik--
311
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:01,191
- On one hand, I can appreciate the chastity it promotes.
312
00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:02,960
Our women could stand to be a little more modest.
313
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:04,494
- Ain't nobody got time for-- - But on the other hand,
314
00:11:04,496 --> 00:11:06,430
seeing that it's advocated by theocracies bent on
315
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,732
controlling minds and souls with subjectively interpreted
316
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:11,301
rhetoric from a book written thousands of years ago,
317
00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:12,636
can't say I'm with that.
318
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:13,470
- All right, Malik, great.
319
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:14,805
Can you just tell me if you've seen her?
320
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:15,772
- Why you looking for her?
321
00:11:15,774 --> 00:11:17,407
- He needs to get a nudie of her.
322
00:11:17,409 --> 00:11:18,275
- A what-ie of her?
323
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:19,810
- Naked picture. - Naked girl?
324
00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:21,979
Ew! Don't you know they got cooties, man?
325
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:23,614
What's wrong with you, man?
326
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,850
You know what, just do you, man. She went that way.
327
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:29,253
- Thanks, little guy. High five.
328
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:31,889
- Right on.
329
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,523
330
00:11:33,525 --> 00:11:34,324
- Aye, there she go.
331
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:36,493
- She skip school to go sight-seeing?
332
00:11:36,495 --> 00:11:37,694
- Looks like it.
333
00:11:40,432 --> 00:11:42,499
- Let's move.
334
00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:47,237
- Why would she go sight-seeing at Brazy Bideon's?
335
00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:51,108
336
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:54,811
- Damn, she boo-boo at that flight simulator.
337
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,483
338
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:02,085
- You guys, I'm not trying to insinuate anything,
339
00:12:02,087 --> 00:12:03,787
but first she goes to Brazy Bideon's,
340
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:06,256
then to the arcade, and now Home Deport?
341
00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:07,524
- What you saying, Deekenmouf?
342
00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:10,560
- Well, I think based on what we've seen today,
343
00:12:10,562 --> 00:12:12,863
we might be dealing with
344
00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:13,964
a hobbyist.
345
00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:15,899
346
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:18,568
- Heh, that's the new Wu-Tang.
347
00:12:20,171 --> 00:12:21,571
348
00:12:25,209 --> 00:12:26,476
- Cindy, time for dinner!
349
00:12:26,478 --> 00:12:29,579
Praise the Lord, we having pot pie tonight.
350
00:12:29,581 --> 00:12:31,114
- Be right there, Daddy.
351
00:12:31,116 --> 00:12:33,450
Lord Jesus in the sky.
352
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:36,553
Cindy Louise Scrilla, what is you wearing?
353
00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:37,688
- Dad, don't be lame.
354
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:38,689
All the girls are wearing them.
355
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,657
- She look like a ghetto Ewok.
356
00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:41,825
- All the girls?
357
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:42,659
All what girls?
358
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:44,795
- The girls at school, Daddy. A-doy.
359
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:45,929
- She look like a Pac-Man ghost.
360
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:48,465
- And you think it's okay after all the protesting
361
00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:50,968
and marches women have gone through for you to be able
362
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,970
to wear shorts that show butt cheek
363
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,639
and side meat without being harassed?
364
00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:57,975
If your mother-- Jesus bless the dead--
365
00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,009
could see you now.
366
00:12:59,011 --> 00:12:59,743
- Ugh, you finished?
367
00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:01,778
- Oh-- shalla-walla-walla-haka-shak!
368
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,046
Girl, you know I'm upset
369
00:13:03,048 --> 00:13:04,481
when I start speaking in tongues.
370
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:07,317
I am not finished yet-- Jesus take the wheel.
371
00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:10,921
Who has you dressing like a shower curtain, Cindy?
372
00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:12,356
Who? Tell me who.
373
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,323
Isis, Dad!
374
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,625
I was inspired by Isis.
375
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,963
- She look like a Crown Royal bag.
376
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,099
- Give me my phone, boy.
377
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:25,068
378
00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:27,738
- Damn, Jamal, you fat.
379
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:31,942
She naked!
380
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:34,177
Hold steady, I said she naked.
381
00:13:34,179 --> 00:13:35,278
- Hey, you try to hold steady
382
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,180
with Deekenmouf's ass in your mouth.
383
00:13:37,182 --> 00:13:39,649
- This is radical.
384
00:13:41,286 --> 00:13:42,819
- Ah.
385
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:45,522
- Grover? Come inside, please.
386
00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,190
Your friends too.
387
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:54,164
- Two little Mandingo boys are breaking into
388
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,633
a young girl's window.
389
00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:57,667
Lucky bitch.
390
00:13:57,669 --> 00:14:01,138
- Got you, motherfucker.
391
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,572
- Wait, wait!
392
00:14:02,574 --> 00:14:04,074
Stop everything!
393
00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:05,509
MC Eiht, quiet down!
394
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,544
My friend, care to explain
395
00:14:07,546 --> 00:14:09,279
what is on your father's head?
396
00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:12,749
- My square-ass stepdad's yarmulke; he Jewish.
397
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:14,451
- Jeah!
398
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:16,186
- Hold up, was it something I said?
399
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,289
- Look, Milk, we like you very much.
400
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:20,490
You turn up nicely.
401
00:14:20,492 --> 00:14:24,928
But how you answer next question is very important.
402
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,730
What tribe you claiming?
403
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:28,198
- Nah, homey, you got it twisted.
404
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,467
The dude who short-dicking my mom is Jewish.
405
00:14:30,469 --> 00:14:33,036
I'm just step-Jew, but on the inside,
406
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,438
I'm all nig. Ow!
407
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:40,077
-
408
00:14:42,613 --> 00:14:43,513
- One time on the creep.
409
00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:45,749
Eiht, Saudi 5,000, G, jeah.
410
00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:47,584
- Come with me if you want to live.
411
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:49,586
- You are wondering what I am doing.
412
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:53,056
I am making special fireworks for U.S.A.
413
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:53,857
I am...
414
00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:54,991
415
00:14:54,993 --> 00:14:56,059
A hobbyist.
416
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:56,660
- I knew it!
417
00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:58,195
- That's cool and all, but fireworks
418
00:14:58,197 --> 00:14:59,930
ain't kosher in Chamberlain Heights.
419
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,765
- I know this, but I want to do this
420
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,800
to show my appreciation; I must.
421
00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:06,470
It is my passion. It will be beautiful.
422
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,472
- Why was you butt-booty naked, though?
423
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:09,840
- The chemicals I work with,
424
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,708
like sulfur, are very, uh,
425
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:12,876
how you say,
426
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:13,577
smell like shit.
427
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,745
Smell hard to get out of burka.
428
00:15:15,747 --> 00:15:16,513
Firework is ready.
429
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:18,748
I will put burka on, and we will detonate it together
430
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:21,151
at Citi City Hall with this remote control.
431
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,153
In Ubombastan, something like this
432
00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:24,254
would make us, uh,
433
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,089
like you say, uh,
434
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,090
legendary.
435
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,992
This is acceptable?
436
00:15:30,261 --> 00:15:32,496
437
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:35,065
- We cannot have Isis influencing our children.
438
00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:38,268
Today they'll be covering themselves in drapes,
439
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,069
but tomorrow!
440
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,070
Tomorrow they'll be...
441
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:42,806
Um, what else do we know about Isis?
442
00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:47,978
She's a Muslim.
443
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,247
- Ah-shakawaka-lakka-lakka- flocka-flame!
444
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:51,581
Oh, that's it.
445
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:52,916
Let's get the camel jockey
446
00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:54,851
and her weird religion out of here.
447
00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:56,253
all: Yeah! She has to go.
448
00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:59,022
- I'm very upset about her religious choice.
449
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,991
450
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,703
- Milk, open the glove compartment.
451
00:16:13,705 --> 00:16:14,804
- Aw, hell yeah, girl!
452
00:16:14,806 --> 00:16:16,873
We finna wet some busters, n'ahimean?
453
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:19,075
- If we go out, we go out shooting, together.
454
00:16:19,077 --> 00:16:22,145
- Yo, you the most gangster-est bitch I ever met.
455
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,046
I think I love you.
456
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:26,016
- Tell me again later, my nig.
457
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,062
- Jesus is Lord; we're too late.
458
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,063
- Somersault! - Freeze!
459
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:41,765
- On the ground. Hands where we can see them.
460
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:43,733
We are here on a suspected burglary.
461
00:16:43,735 --> 00:16:46,570
And you may not believe this, but we are looking for
462
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:47,771
a young black male.
463
00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:50,106
- I mean, y'all ain't got no more description than that?
464
00:16:50,108 --> 00:16:52,576
- Probably, but that was more than enough for us.
465
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:53,310
You could be young.
466
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,744
I never can tell with your people.
467
00:16:54,746 --> 00:16:55,745
- No, it's not me!
468
00:16:55,747 --> 00:16:58,181
We are looking for a girl named Isis.
469
00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:00,617
She's influencing our children!
470
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:01,618
- To do what?
471
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:02,819
- She, um-- to, uh,
472
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:06,223
wear funky clothes, and, uh, she's also a Muslim.
473
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,525
- A Muslim? Not on my watch.
474
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,659
Kennedy,
475
00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,194
I think I've got something.
476
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:12,162
Oh!
477
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:13,563
- That is fresh-smelling shit.
478
00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:15,699
And this, a video on how to make fireworks.
479
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,934
And those, pictures of Citi City Hall.
480
00:17:17,936 --> 00:17:20,203
- Wait a second, you don't think that--
481
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:20,770
- Yes!
482
00:17:20,772 --> 00:17:23,139
A Muslim hobbyist is going to shit on a firecracker
483
00:17:23,141 --> 00:17:24,107
and go get gay married.
484
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:26,676
This is exactly what President Trump warned us about.
485
00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:27,944
- Wait a damn minute, isn't it more
486
00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:30,347
of a realistic possibility that she's at Citi City Hall
487
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:31,581
about to set off illegal fireworks?
488
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:32,882
- Sir, please calm down before I am
489
00:17:32,884 --> 00:17:35,685
forced to shoot you and falsify the report!
490
00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:36,386
- Jeez Louise!
491
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,989
He's telling you that Isis is at Citi City Hall
492
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:40,223
about to set off fireworks!
493
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,492
- Ma'am, that's so crazy it might be true.
494
00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:43,927
Thank you for your help.
495
00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:45,428
And reverse somersault.
496
00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:48,265
- Ooh, shanna-manna-bum- stickity-bum-stickity-bum,
497
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:49,032
we want offense.
498
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,769
- When you gonna come through Chamberlain Heights
499
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:53,536
and holler at a pimp?
500
00:17:53,538 --> 00:17:56,773
- Soon. Isis has been planning a permanent move into America.
501
00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:59,042
I will join her, and you can join me.
502
00:17:59,044 --> 00:18:01,911
- You mean a permanent move "to" America, right?
503
00:18:01,913 --> 00:18:03,813
Not "into" America.
504
00:18:04,015 --> 00:18:07,450
- The point is, I want us to be together forever.
505
00:18:07,452 --> 00:18:09,119
I love you, Milk.
506
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,720
507
00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:13,523
- Got you, motherfucker!
508
00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:15,592
- Damn, baby.
509
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:20,130
Y'all missed me, mark-ass dust busters.
510
00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:22,198
Aye, subscribe to my channel, though.
511
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,234
512
00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:25,835
- Ready? - A few words first.
513
00:18:25,837 --> 00:18:29,139
This is the best day of my life, you guys are my best friends,
514
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:31,308
and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you.
515
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:33,410
No, scratch that, we are not friends.
516
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:36,379
You are my brothers, and sister.
517
00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:37,447
Thanks a million.
518
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:38,214
- Freeze, lady Muslim!
519
00:18:38,216 --> 00:18:40,550
- They made me do it! I'm a hostage!
520
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:41,251
- This nigga.
521
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:42,485
- Muslim girl in the karate dress,
522
00:18:42,487 --> 00:18:44,921
walk towards us slowly, with your hands up!
523
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:47,023
- I do not mean any harm, please!
524
00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:49,559
- What would Snipes do? - No, Jamal.
525
00:18:49,561 --> 00:18:51,294
- I'm doing it for Isis.
526
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:52,929
- You emotional right now, my nig.
527
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:55,265
Don't do anything-- - Snipes!
528
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:55,965
Hi-ya!
529
00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:57,300
Oh--ah!
530
00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:58,201
- Jamal!
531
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:00,637
- Ah, I'm, oh-- okay.
532
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:04,174
- I'm sorry, Isis. - You are a good guy, Grover.
533
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:05,742
Now go, go! Now!
534
00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:07,711
- He's coming at us like a wild animal!
535
00:19:10,248 --> 00:19:12,816
- Put the device down, or we will shoot.
536
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,984
Real bullets this time.
537
00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:18,388
538
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:25,295
539
00:19:25,796 --> 00:19:30,734
crowd: Ooh, ah.
540
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:32,535
Ooh.
541
00:19:32,537 --> 00:19:35,839
- It's beautiful, Isis. It's beautiful.
542
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,240
543
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:39,008
- Take off my clothes.
544
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:44,314
Before I came to America, I read news of your police.
545
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:47,751
I expected this.
546
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:49,119
547
00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:54,958
Bye, Muslim.
548
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,627
- I'm not dead, guy from "Jaws."
549
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:00,363
550
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:04,200
- Heard what happened with Isis, but a bet's a bet.
551
00:20:05,036 --> 00:20:07,637
By the way, it's called a niqab.
552
00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:09,739
See you mus-lames on the bench.
553
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:12,075
Ha! "Mus-lames!"
554
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:14,077
I kill me!
555
00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:14,811
Man, fuck y'all.
556
00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:18,047
- It's too bad you didn't get that picture, my nig.
557
00:20:18,049 --> 00:20:19,249
- Says who? - Ooh.
558
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:20,750
together: Legend.
559
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,388
- Milton, nice to have you home.
560
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:28,258
- Man, shut your bitch-ass up.
561
00:20:30,795 --> 00:20:32,362
So like I was saying, "Jungle Fever" is
562
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:35,198
the dopest Snipes joint, but "White Man Can't Jump"
563
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,032
is right up there, though.
564
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:38,168
It's pretty, it's so pretty.
565
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,804
- Pound for pound, the best actor in the world.
566
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:42,338
- Ain't no question, my dudes.
567
00:20:42,340 --> 00:20:45,375
Snipes be like...
568
00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:49,512
39834
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