Original subtitles

We're just going through the side door,

and wait inside the garage behind one of the cars...

There's another car in the garage so we'll just wait there.

And when he comes in,

Just wait for him to get out the car...

and then I'm gonna give him the good news.

Well...

He's probably gonna come...

He lives in this place.

Here, just on the corner here.

This Hotel here.

So he's either gonna come...

I mean, he normally comes down this alleyway.

But he could come up here,

or here.

Or he could even come this way.

So I have to keep my eye up,

but basically, whatever way he comes,

I'm just gonna grab him, chuck him in the car.

Have you been following for a while?

Yeah.

'Bout a week.

Here he comes.

I'm not gonna grab him now though.

I'm gonna grab him on the way back.

Here he comes, here.

Just try...

Be careful with the camera.

Okay.

You know what I'm saying about the camera?

That's him there.

He's going out for a stroll.

Anyone need to piss?

Did you get that?

Here's the boy.

Surgical gloves, at the chemist.

But you got to get 'em in big packs of one.

That cost you 'bout six bucks.

But now you can get whole packs of 24, for about 5 bucks.

Which is good.

It's a bit cheaper.

Is that him?

Yeah, that's him.

All right, let's go.

Let's go.

Out of the car, mate.

Let's go.

Now.

Tony?

Freddy wants to have a word or two.

See that car over there?

Get in the fucking car over there.

The gold car.

Let's go. Let's fucking go.

Get in the fucking car.

Quit fucking around.

You're gonna fucking move now. I got a gun on ya.

Get in the fucking car!

Alright. Cuffs.

Put 'em on.

Alright. On the floor. Now.

On the fucking floor, now.

Max? Get in the fucking car.

Get your fucking head down, you fucking shit stain.

What did I say about keeping your fucking head in here?

I have to fucking tell you again, cunt,

and I'll fucking do ya.

Alright?

And you fucking move when I tell you to move.

Right?

Right?

Yeah.

How ya doin', dude?

Good, mate.

This is Max.

Max, Ben.

Hi Ben.

What's with the camera?

Oh, just...

I'm making a documentary,

I'm a film student.

About what?

About...

Ray.

You making a documentary on...

About you?

Why?

Well, you know, we're kind of...

Kind of neighbours and...

Sit down.

I'm gonna get a drink.

You wanna drink?

I'm just...

Yeah. You want a drink?

Yeah.

Just a coke?

Yeah.

I'll get you a chair too.

Thanks.

So, how long have you known Ben for?

Jesus...

'Bout three years.

Three or four.

Good mates?

Oh, we used to be.

Yeah. We used to be pretty good mates.

But...

He's got on...

He's got on the smack a bit in the last,

'bout eighteen... eighteen months or so.

So...

He's gone downhill a bit.

But...

Yeah, I mean, I still see him occasionally...

and... you know.

I'm tellin' ya.

Why would the drug squad wanna set you up?

I don't know.

Maybe you know, it's some...

Maybe, you know, fuckin'...

Some fucking burg, you know?

Someone's house, fuckin' years ago.

And...

Yeah? What's that got to do with the fucking drug squad?

Well, you know, that's one...

I don't know...

A relation or...

a friend of a friend of a friend...

and he's found out that it was...

Look, mate, just tell me if you been...

Looks like you've been telling the cops.

If you have,

tell me, and I can help ya.

If you're gonna bullshit me,

there's nothing I can fuckin' do for ya.

I haven't...

Have you been taking... Listen.

Look at me.

Have you been talking to the cops?

Look at me, eh?

Yes or no?

Not in the context that you're talking about.

I haven't been...

I haven't been, you know...

Fuckin' interviewed by them.

And I'm not an informant.

You know, I'm not telling them shit about anyone.

So, but you have been talking to the cops.

Couple of dudes.

Right.

But not like...

I can't see how this has gotten back to you.

Just...

Just listen, right?

I told ya it would come back to you.

Right?

He's got a guy in the fucking drug squad.

Right?

Really, I can't...

I can't imagine that he says...

'Cause I said to 'em here...

Listen. Listen. I got it.

Let's just cut the shit.

Cut the small talk, right?

Freddy, said to me:

"Get rid of him"... Right?

Do we have to have that fucking camera on

while we talk about this shit, man?

You wanna just...

Okay.

Well, no offense, man.

You seem like a nice guy.

We talking...

We talking some heavy stuff here.

Ya know?

It's fine.

Don't worry. Don't worry a bit.

I'm regretting saying some things

or anything that I've said.

He'll edit it out.

Yeah.

Don't worry a bit.

Don't worry about the camera.

Were you mad he was a drug dealer? Or...

Yeah, he was actually dealing for Freddy.

Oh, alright.

He was dealing smack for Freddy.

And...

And then he started using and...

Just... Ya know.

So then... The friendship's fallen apart

a little bit? Or...

Oh... Yeah.

Or just you lost touch?

Yeah, we kinda just don't...

We sort of move in different circles a bit now,

so we just don't see each other that much.

But yeah, we still get on alright.

But...

I mean, he's changed a bit from what he used to be.

Which is kinda sad. But...

Yeah, that's the way it goes.

What about if I go and speak to Freddy,

and sort it in?

No.

Oh, don't...

I can do some burgs for ya.

I know there's some fucking punks up in...

Look,

you can do as many burgs as you want.

But you've been talking to the cops.

- Widescreen television... - Forget it.

Forget it... I don't wanna hear even a bit.

I don't wanna hear about fucking widescreen TVs.

Right?

What I wanna hear is...

...Get up into the house through the roof.

Take off the...

tiles, on the roof.

Get in through the roof,

- there's a manhole on the roof... - That's 350, alright?

350.

That'll get you out of Melbourne.

No, I don't feel...

I don't want your money, man.

Just fucking take it, right?

At least this way...

I've done all that I can. Right?

Ok.

You get to Sydney.

- No, no. - You get to Sydney...

No, no, no. No, no, no...

- Sit down, sit down. - Let's go, mate.

- No, sit down. - No.

You get to Sydney,

if you need more money,

give me a call. Right?

Ray. Sit down, man.

That's it.

I've done my best, alright?

Sit down. Sit down.

No.

Let's go, mate.

Turn. Turn it off.

Turn the camera.

Before... becoming a hitman,

what did you do?

I was in the army.

In the army.

For a long time?

Eight years.

Eight years?

Was that, like, the only other job you did?

Or did you do something else before getting to the army?

Oh, I did a bit of, sorta kitchen aid sort of stuff,

before I went in the army.

Just sorta bummed around a bit,

Did a bit of sorta part-time stuff.

And then basically went in the army.

And, why did you...

Did you quit the army?

No, I got... Got discharged.

You got discharged.

Any particular reason? Or, like...

Oh, I just...

got a bit of a problem with a guy and...

You know.

Like a superior, or...

Yeah. Yeah.

- Bit of a personality clash. - Ok.

Let's go.

What's up, Ray?

Open the boot up.

Open the boot, there.

In you get.

Dude,

I don't mean any disrespect,

but I'll suffer from claustrophobia.

Yeah, you're gonna suffer from something else,

if you don't fucking get in there.

Put the light on him, will ya?

Getting shy on me.

Get your fat ass up the fucking car.

You wanna sit in the front?

Yeah.

Alright, Guns of Navarone.

Ya seen that?

Yeah.

Guns of Navarone.

It's a classic.

- Yeah. - Good film. Good film.

Dirty dozen?

Fuckin' classic.

Oh, yeah, it's a classic.

But, it's not really a war movie.

It's more...

That's a... an actors' movie.

Well, it's a war movie though.

The performances...

Yeah, but the performances of the actors in there...

- They're fucking brilliant. - Yeah.

Quite, yeah. There's some fucking good actors there.

You couldn't do that now though.

You couldn't make a fucking movie,

with that many good actors in it.

That's true.

I mean,

if you make it now,

it would cost you to produce only...

You know, to get the actors...

- Yeah. - Fucking...

Hundreds and hundreds of millions.

Yeah.

Just for the actors.

I mean...

You had Aldrich in there.

You had Charlie Bronson.

You had Jim Brown...

I mean...

Fucking bleedin' actors.

Yeah... Clint Eastwood.

Yeah?

What about him?

Well, he was good in it.

Yeah, Clint Eastwood is...

Good actor.

He's a brilliant actor but...

he wasn't in The dirty dozen.

He was, mate.

He's in the fuckin' Dirty dozen.

He fucking wasn't, mate.

He was fucking so!

Come on. Come on...

I mean, you must be mistaken. I don't know...

I'm not mistaken, man.

I seen the movie... yeah,

a couple of weeks ago.

Clint Eastwood definitely isn't in The dirty dozen.

He is, mate. He shoots a guy with a silencer in it.

- No, no, no. - He goes in this room,

there's a guy sittin' at the radio.

He goes, he's got a Nazi uniform on.

He goes in with a silencer and he shoots the guy.

Yeah, I know the scene you're talking about.

That's not Clint Eastwood.

No.

Can't quite remember the name of the actor,

but that's definitely not Clint Eastwood.

I'll bet you a fuckin' hundred bucks, mate.

That's Clint Eastwood.

Fuck you.

I'll bet you a thousand bucks!

You got a thousand bucks?

Of course, mate.

You sure?

Yeah.

Yeah, alright. Ok.

What's up?

Nothing.

So why did you...

Who's in The dirty dozen?

The movie?

No, the musical.

Have you seen the movie?

Yeah.

The dirty dozen?

- Yep. - Right.

Who was in it?

Donald Sutherland,

Lee Marvin...

Clint Eastwood?

Was he?

Clint Eastwood?

Yeah.

No, no.

He was in...

Where eagles dare with Richard Burton.

But he definitely wasn't in The dirty doz...

Mate?

What?

Pay up.

I'm not paying up.

He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking 'bout.

We'll get him on video.

So why did you ask him, then?

You want to go in the boot with him?

Not particularly.

Then you will shut the fuck up.

And get in the fucking car.

Fuck, that light's fucking strong.

Yeah, but we need it.

The whole thing about disposing the bodies...

Because, after all,

I mean, what's important is that you don't get caught.

But then, sooner or later,

The bodies... get found.

Not if I'm doing it.

So you make sure that...

Yeah.

That they just disappear.

Yeah.

You got no body, you got no cops.

I mean,

the cops have got no body,

all they've got is a missing person.

Yeah, so they...

So they're not coming around asking questions

and, you know.

So...

No evidence.

Yeah. Yeah.

Just point it over here.

Right. Over here.

Over here.

There.

Stand there.

Fast, move.

Alright.

Over there, mate.

Go over by the car.

Start digging.

...It's eighty grand cash.

It's all fucking small bills...

The hell you doing with eighty grand cash?

Oh, let's just call it a bit of a nest egg.

A nest egg...

And where is it?

Where's this money?

Eh, just out of Bathurst.

Yeah, where?

Off of...

On me old man's property, up there.

Whereabouts on the property?

It's marked, but it's not easily...

You can't just walk around and get it because,

anyone would dig it up.

Come on man,

I've got a... daughter.

Just fucking dig,

I don't give a shit about your daughter.

Anybody got a chewie on him?

Max,

you got any chewie?

Let me see...

Maybe.

Yeah.

Yeah?

It's not that sugar free, fuckin' poofter chewie?

Nah.

What is it?

PK.

That'll have to do.

Juicy Fruit's the preferred...

What are you doin'?

What's this shit?

What's that? What you call that?

You call that digging?

No, I'm breaking...

What's that?

I'm breaking the shit off the edges.

You're breaking the shit off the edges...

You break the shit off the edges,

we'll be here 'til fucking Christmas.

Dig the hole.

Put your foot on top of the spade, right?

Push into the ground.

That's how you dig a fuckin' hole.

But the dirt's too hard.

The dirt's too hard, is it?

Pretty hard.

If I spit the chewie out...

With 80 grand you could buy,

- 80 million packets of chew... - Eh, eh.

I'm fucking talking here,

do you mind?

Just dig the fucking hole?

If I spit the chewie out,

then have a cigarette...

Then there's only one chewie left.

Yeah.

Is it alright if I have that chewie?

Yep.

Well, I don't want...I just don't want to take your last chewie, that's all.

No, you can have it.

No worries.

Well, I'm not going to fuckin' have it now.

- Well, you could buy... - What did I say?

How many fuckin' times do I have to tell ya,

to stop jabbing the fuckin' shovel on the ground?

Put your foot on the top of the shovel.

Now. Put your foot on...

That's it.

Now push.

That's what I want you to do.

If I see you again, jabbing the fucking shovel on the ground

like that,

I'm gonna shoot you in the fuckin' head and dig the fuckin' hole myself.

Right?

Fuckin'...

I mean...

What does it take from me to fuckin' prove to you

that I will fuckin' disappear?

I guarantee you, disappear!

I'm not fucking...

Fuck!

Ray, 80 grand is a lot of money after all.

80 grand is a lot of money after all...

You might think of retiring yourself.

- Even if you... - Not with fucking 80 grand, mate!

Paste it up against the wall, whatever! Fuck,

it's still...

a significant lump sum of money.

And not many fucking people can say

"Yeah, I've got 80 grand fucking cash sitting on me fuckin' pocket"

or whatever.

And like I fuckin' say.

I guarantee disappearance.

I'm fucking gone,

I'm outta here,

I'll fucking "Puff!"

And you'll never...

No one, will ever

hear me, see me,

or... smell me, ever again.

In fact, what if we get there?

At least fucking...

At least, see that the money exists.

And that... It's gonna be taken as some kinda token

that I will fucking go?

If I'm not bullshitting about the fuckin' money,

then I'm not bullshitting about fucking disappearing.

It don't... It's not like it's...

It's... Really ain't fuckin' major fuckin'

trial and tribulation for you to, fuckin'...

to stop this now.

All you're doing is postponing the inevitable

rather than fucking...

Alright. Put the shovel down.

Bullshit.

Stay in the fuckin' hole.

Siddown.

Come on, man, you don't have to do this.

Just... siddown.

- The money! It's there! - Sit do...

Don't pick that fucking shovel up.

Siddown.

Were gonna shoot you, I'd just fuckin' shoot you.

Alright?

Just siddown.

Just don't you worry about it.

You just fuckin' siddown.

Fuckin' take a break.

Relax. Take it easy.

Max, could I grab a smoke off you, mate?

That'd be alright?

Yeah, sure. No problem.

Eh, eh, 'scuse me?

You're not fuckin' smoking.

Alright? It's not a fucking smoke out break.

You stay there,

you move...

you'll have fuckin' trouble.

Now...

Just keep that light on him.

Oh, fuck it.

Get in.

Not in there.

The boot.

Not the boot again.

Don't start this shit, pal.

Just get in the fuckin' boot.

But I went the last eight hours there now,

I'll fucking die.

I'm claustrophobic, for fuck's sake!

Alright. Would you prefer the hole or...

the boot?

Hey, listen, Ray.

What's the problem with him sitting in the back?

Have you smelled him?

Well, he pissed himself.

I'm claustrophobic!

Well, you're not sitting in the car

fucking stinking off all me car up.

But... look, Ray.

It's not even your car,

you stole it!

So what's your point?

So, what do you care?

Well, I've got to sit in there. Right?

I've got to drive eight hours up to Bathhurst,

I'm not driving that far with this guy fuckin' stinking of piss.

Well, I'll take me dacks off.

And what are you gonna wear in the car?

Nothing.

You ain't fucking sitting there

with your fucking dick hangin' out.

Why don't you give him your underpants?

Give him your fuckin' underpants, pal!

I'm not giving him mine.

Okay.

I'll do it.

Hold the camera.

- Hold the camera. - Oh...

Yeah, by the legs. Yeah.

Right. Good.

Thanks, man.

No worries.

I appreciate this.

Tony. How long have you been dealin' drugs?

Since I was about 15.

So, about... 'bout eight years.

Are you 23 now?

Yeah.

And what sort of drugs you're dealin' with?

These days, just... eckies.

But it's all started with pot when I was 'bout 15.

There was a market there and...

A market there, where?

In school.

Ah, in school.

Yeah.

Lot of kids smoking pot in school,

you know?

So... I was happy to provide them with what they required.

Yeah, I'm living comfortably now.

That's for sure.

How much do you make, a year?

About...

I'd say I... probably clear about a hundred grand a year.

Jeez, it's not bad.

Nah, eh. It's not good either.

It's no biggie, you know?

It's not like I'm some big boss,

drug dealin' crime lord or anything.

I'm small fry.

So is your daughter living with your... wife?

Yeah.

You know, I see her, like...

Once a month and,

maybe a couple nights.

Like, a weekend a month

and then maybe a couple nights through the week here and there.

Depending on,

how Michelle feels.

So, and what... what does your wife do?

How does she support herself and her daughter?

She's on the dole at the moment.

So do you... Do you pass on money, to them?

Oh, fuckin' heaps, man. You know.

I might be a drug dealer, but I'm not a scumbag.

I look after my daughter.

I love her with every bit of my heart.

Were you broken in though?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah.

What'd they get?

Oh,

everything.

TV, stereo, uh...

VCR.

DVD player.

D'you talk to the cops?

Yes, I did.

But, you know...

And actually,

I actually even know who did the job.

But,

the cops can't do anything because there's no,

you know.

There's no evidence.

Who'd you think did it?

Well, who do I think...

I'm sure that is... this guy Edna, he's a guy that...

He's a junkie that I used to live with

in Carlton, years ago.

Yeah.

I mean, the guy's been in jail.

For robbery.

- So, you know. - Yeah.

But apart from that.

After I spoke to the cops,

I went around his place and...

you know.

He denied it but

he denied it in a way that,

"Yes. I fucked you mate!"

You know?

"You can't do anything"

So...

So that's how you know.

And where's he live, this guy?

Brunswick.

Well...

I'm so pissed off...

What about we go around there and...

I'll have a chat to him.

So what you gonna do?

I'm just gonna have a word to him.

See what he says.

An what if he denies everything?

Well, I'll sort him out.

What do you mean, sort him out?

Well, you know how I sort out things.

Yeah.

Well.

Look... listen,

I don't really feel comfortable with this.

Could you...

Could you just go and talk to him?

Well, I'll talk to him.

But, I mean, if he's... I mean, you spoke to him

he's denied it to you.

He's probably, pretty much just gonna deny it to me.

So, I mean...

You know, I can talk to him

but I don't think that's gonna get me very far.

Yes, but...

Could you just do me this favour?

Just, go and talk without using any violence?

And see, you know...

- And see what happens. - Okay.

Alright, yeah.

See what happens.

But what happens if he denies?

What do I...

Well, we'll think about it... later.

Just go, and...

Without... you know.

Without even thinking of hittin' him.

And, just try to...

talk and convince him.

Can you do that?

I'm, I... I know.

I mean... it's a favour I'm asking you.

I know what... your methods are.

But, you know...

Can you do that?

Man, fuck off.

And about the... drug, the whole

drug issue.

What your position, what...

Do you think that shoud be leagalized, or...

What do you think?

Well, I think if ya...

Probably three quarters of your drug...

Three quarters of your crime at the moment,

it's probably drug related.

So if you get rid of drugs,

you basically, three quarters of crime

you gon' have 'em wiped out overnight. So...

You know,

from a public point of view it's probably a good idea.

I mean, they've had this war on drugs for the last,

what?

Twenty years or so?

And I don't see that they've actually stopped anybody.

I mean, everybody's still takin'em.

More people are takin'em every day.

You know what I mean? You can't...

You can't stop people doing something they wanna do.

You know, if they wanna go and...

If I wanna go and do drugs or,

you know, shoot up, nobody's gonna stop me.

You know what I mean?

Johnny Howard thinks he's gonna stop me doing drugs.

I mean, he's fucking... You know.

It ain't gonna happen.

You wanna just go through there?

Yeah, okay.

Just watch that pole there, mate.

Yeah.

Eh, so, you know. Legalize it.

And a lot less people are gonna die of...

But don't you think that a free access

to such dangerous substances

would have a very bad impact on the public health?

Well, I think the only people who're gonna...

Like heroin, for example.

The only person who's gonna take heroin's

a fuckin' idiot in the first place.

So, you know...

All it's gonna do is thin out the dickheads.

You know what I mean?

I mean, I'm like...

Look, if you're... as far as I'm concerned,

if you're stupid enough to take heroin,

you're a fuckin' idiot.

And you deserve to fucking die anyway.

So...

Happy?

What did he say?

What you think he said?

Now, look...

Let's go then.

Nah, mate. I'm not going anywhere.

I'm gonna sort this fucking prick out.

Right?

Look, listen. I...

I don't feel comfortable with that.

Yeah, well. That's... it's a bit late for that now, mate. Alright?

- It's a bit late to feel fuckin' comfortable... - Hold on!

Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

Listen, listen, listen.

Okay.

I understand I'm not gonna stop you.

Well, you can't.

But,

could you please use the least,

the least amount of violence

necessary?

Can you do that?

Can you try to use the least...

I will try to use the least amount of violence

necessary.

- Okay? - Yes. Yes.

Are you cool with that?

I'm cool with that. Yeah.

Thanks. I really appreciate it.

Okay. Can I go now?

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, no.

Jesus Christ.

That fucking prick.

Your CD player,

your DVD player...

Yeah?

He's gotten rid of those.

What do you reckon they would've cost ya?

If you bought them now?

Mmmh... at least a grand.

Grand? Alright.

You owe him two grand, alright?

What day is it, today?

Today... Wednesday.

Ok. You got 'til next Wednesday,

that's a week.

Right?

To come up with two grand.

You know where he lives.

Right?

If he doesn't have the two grand in a week,

I'll be coming back here.

Right?

And you know what's gonna happen.

Right?

Ok. Now apologize.

Man, I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Okay?

Happy with that?

Yeah, it's alright.

- Happy? Yeah? - Yeah.

Right.

Piss off.

A week.

Happy chappy?

So, that's your least amount of violence.

I'd hate to see the maximum.

You say, you have children?

Yep.

How many?

One?

Boy or girl?

Girl.

How old is she?

She's seven.

Seven.

Yeah.

Do you see her?

I used to see her.

I used to see her a fair bit but...

Me ex-wife, she's moved up to Queensland.

She's remarried, so...

Yeah, it's kinda...

Makes it hard, yeah.

Yeah, I mean,

I'd like to see her but...

I feel like I'm kind of uh...

like a hanger-on to her, you know? I'm out of the loop.

You know what I mean?

They got their little family going and,

I go up there and I feel like uh... you know?

I feel like...

you know.

Are you still in good relations with your...

- ex-wife? - Oh, yeah. Look.

You know.

Pretty good.

I mean, I don't talk to her that much.

But, yeah. I mean...

Yeah, there's no hate or...

Nah, there's not hate or anything like that.

It's just...

What do you want?

Just get us a hamburger.

Right. What do you want on it?

Just get us a plain one.

All right.

With onions.

You get extra sauce too.

Like, you know, the little sauce packets?

Little plastic ones?

But tomato sauce, you mean?

Yeah. Tomato sauce.

They'll put tomato sauce on it.

Yeah.

But then I'm putting one aside, just the little...

little packet.

No worries.

Anything to drink?

Just get us a Big M. Iced coffee.

Oh, all right. Yeah.

Want sugar in it?

Do I want sugar in it?

Yeah.

No. It comes with sugar, mate.

It's a Big M. It's like a flavoured milk thing.

Oh, all right, so...

- They put it in already, so... - So they got sugar in it already. Alright.

Tony?

Something to drink?

Something to eat?

Yes, please.

Yeah, what do you want?

What have they got?

Uh, hamburgers and stuff. I don't know.

- They have souvlakis? - I reckon.

Well, if they've got souvlakis, I'll have a chicken souvlaki, please.

Chicken souvlaki.

But if they don't have chicken,

- I'll just have a hamburger With the Lot, please. - Hamburger With the Lot.

Right.

Something to drink?

Yeah. Just a coke, please.

Just a coke. Good.

Ray, could you hold the camera for me, please? And...

Just make sure it doesn't fall off the dash. Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm good.

Max?

Yep?

Can you ask 'em to put extra garlic sauce on them,

please?

On the souvlaki?

On the souvlaki.

Yeah.

No worries.

But if they don't have garlic sauce...

Yeah?

I'll just get the hamburger instead.

Just get him the fuckin' hamburger.

You married?

Why do you wanna know?

Uh... just making conversation.

Any kids?

If you could have any car,

like in the world,

what would it be?

Porsche.

Like a new one or, one of the old classics, or...

Turbo. Four-wheel.

The lightest one. The lightest...

lightest turbo.

Cool.

What about you?

Oh, man. I've got this beautiful Commodore.

And it's not in the best condition but I love it.

What sort?

VK.

Yeah, but I...

If, I mean, if money was no option, I wouldn't buy

some schmee car Ferrari or anything, I'll just

do her up.

What is it? What sort of Commodore?

VK.

A VK. You'd rather have a VK Commodore than a Ferrari.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

I'm not, I mean,

I'm not a big rough head sort of car man,

so...

Or anything like that.

Simple pleasures.

So if somebody gave you a choice,

say he gave you a five hundred thousand dollar Ferrari, and a VK Commodore,

you'd take the VK Commodore.

Not any VK Commodore, I'd take my VK Commodore.

You'd take your VK Commodore over a Ferrari.

If I had, the cost of the Ferrari in cash,

to be out to spend on...

on the Commo,

How ya gonna spend five hundred grand on a fuckin' Commodore?

I wouldn't have to.

But, you know, like...

it'll prolly cost me, to have it completely schmeeking as new,

I think, prolly...

ten, twenty grand or something.

I'd get it all done by the...

by the people in the know.

Do a bit meself but...

You've been to the Mardi Gras?

The gay Mardi Gras?

Yeah, well. Is there any non-gay Mardi Gras?

Yeah.

Have you been?

To the gay Mardi Gras?

Yeah.

No.

Why not?

I mean, if you've been to Sydney, it's one of the...

What would I wanna get to the gay Mardi Gras for?

Because it's fun. Lots of people go.

Yeah.

Lots of people go.

Yeah.

But why would I go?

Am I lots of people?

What are you trying to say, eh?

You're trying to say I'm a poof?

No, no. It...

Then why you're asking me if I've been to the Mardi Gras for?

Have you been to the Mardi Gras?

Well, I've never been to Sydney but...

Why haven't you been to the Mardi Gras?

There's a Mardi Gras down here in Melbourne.

Is there?

Yeah, down in St. Kilda this one.

Have you been there?

- No. - How come?

I didn't know.

You didn't know? Why not?

That's not cool!

Well, it didn't come to... you know?

Nobody told me.

I don't know.

But, you know, probably 'cause I don't...

If you'd have known, would you have gone?

Probably I would have.

Oh, ok.

Yeah. I mean what...

'Cause you're a poof?

No.

So you're against...

Have you got something against homosexuals?

Oh, look, I don't think I have anything against them.

I mean, that's not my cup of tea, but... ya know?

Whatever blows your whistle.

- Is that right? - Yeah.

Well, because, you know.

You're a very attractive man, you know?

You're a very beautiful man.

Fascinating man.

Charming, at times.

Yeah. Keep going.

I mean, you...

You know?

I definitely think you should go.

Yeah?

Yeah!

Yeah. Well, maybe we'll go together.

Hey.

Hey!

What's going on?

Nothing.

What're you doing?

Goin' home.

What're you doing here?

I live here.

What're you doing in Melbourne?

What did I say to ya, the last time I spoke to you?

I went to Sydney for a couple of weeks, alright.

Things didn't work out.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Where?

We're gonna go for a little drive, alright?

Let's go.

You pick a state. Alright?

Why are we going for a drive?

We're gonna go... I'm gonna drive ya,

wherever the fuck you wanna go, right?

Where'd you wanna go?

You know, dude. Don't...

If I come with you,

just tell me that nothing bad happens.

Nothing bad is gonna happen,

as long as you do what I'm... fuckin' tell you should.

If I was gonna whack you, mate,

you'd be fuckin' dead already, right?

I would've done you in the fuckin' alley back there.

Right?

You pick a fuckin' state.

Where'd you wanna go?

Well, pick one,

'cause we gotta fucking drive somewhere.

So where do you wanna go?

To Queensland or...

Whatever's easier for you.

Whatever's easier for me...

How about I fucking shoot you right here in the alley?

That's easy for me.

That good for you?

Ok. He's gay,

He's kicking around Hollywood and all that sort of shit.

He doesn't wanna be gay,

because he feels like it would damage his career.

'Cause at the time him, that he was...

Being young and gay was,

You know?

Gayness was pretty shushed upon.

He's fucking all these blokes,

- left, right and center... - You like this, man?

Well, sounds to me like a pile of bullshit.

Sounds like a pile of bullshit to me too.

Yeah, you just keep listening.

- This might get more sense. - Say, so what?

How many people in Hollywood are gay, then?

Is everybody gay in Hollywood?

Most, well,

a fair proportion.

Well, if he's gay,

I want to be gay too.

If being gay...

made you get

the same women...

The women they get.

I could get the kinda women they get.

I wanna be gay.

Yeah, I wanna be gay too!

- Can I be gay? - Yeah, look, you'd be like a fucking puppet.

You can be gay but there's no much porn

because he's got these,

relatively attractive women hanging off his shoulder,

but it's all a fucking sham!

So he's not having sex with 'em?

No.

There's a...

That sounds a bit...

I know, I know what's...

Listen.

Because, even the women he marries,

Yeah?

They're gay too!

I mean, according to the, Tony's theory...

No. I didn't say everyone in Hollywood is gay,

And I certainly didn't say all women are gay.

But there's a lot of gay men.

It's a pretty fucking gay profession, if you think about it.

Through fuckin' history there's been a lot of gay,

poofter fucking bloke actors.

My balls aren't hanging out, right?

Can you do one arm?

Fuck 'em, no.

Alright. I'm gonna jump in the shower, right?

Okay.

Keep an eye on him, right?

Max?

What?

Do you reckon...

Do you reckon he's gonna let me go?

Look,

I can't guarantee anything.

But I think he's gonna let you go.

I mean, I'll have a word with him.

I'm pretty sure you're gonna make it.

You're gonna make it out of this.

But, of course,

can't guarantee.

So,

what if...

What if you let me go now?

Right now, while he's in there?

No, can't do that.

But he won't...

He's not gonna do anything to you.

- You're not a criminal. - No.

That Ray guy, in there.

If I let you go, he's not gonna be a happy chappy.

And that, is the last thing I wanna see.

Ray, not being an happy chappy.

You know what I mean?

So, don't ask me again.

Sure.

Having a chat, are you guys?

How you doing pal, down there? Alright?

Okay.

So what the camera cost you?

Oh, well... well, it's about,

five thousand.

What the fuck're you doing?

Well, I'm getting to bed.

What are you taking your pants off for?

Well, I can't sleep with my pants on.

You're not fuckin' sleeping next to me

with your fucking cock hangin' out, pal.

What'd you mean?

What'd I mean?

I mean you're not sleeping next to me,

with your fuckin' bare ass!

Well, I'm not gonna fuck you up the ass,

if's that that worries you...

Well, I don't wanna take any fucking chances,

alright.

Oh, come on...

No.

How long have we known each other?

Not fucking long enough for you to sleep next to me,

fuckin' naked.

I don't mean to interrupt you but,

I don't think it would matter

how long I've been knowing someone.

A bloke I'd feel pretty weird

about sleeping with, if he was naked.

Look, pal.

I gave you my undies.

So shut the fuck up.

I appreciate that.

I'm indebted to you for that.

So?

You can sleep however you want.

Good.

No, you sleep with your fucking pants on!

Alright?

Or you can sleep on the couch.

Alright?

On the couch...

Yeah.

You wanna sleep with no pants on...

Yeah but there's no...

I mean, there's no other blankets.

Well, that's not my problem.

Just sleep with your fucking pants on.

What's the big deal?

I've got my pants on.

But I'm not used to!

- Come on... - You're not used to what?

To sleep with my pants on!

Well, you just gonna have to get used to it.

Right?

You big poofter.

So, Ben,

Do you follow footy?

Yeah.

Who do you barrack for?

North Melbourne.

North Melbourne?

Isn't it the team where that guy fucked his mate's wife?

What's his name, what's his name?

Wayne Carey.

Wayne Carey. That's him.

That's him.

So he's the captain and he fucks, the vice-captain's wife.

You know, very smart.

You know, he must be really a nice guy.

Oh, you know. Fuck, it wasn't the smartest thing to do,

but everyone makes mistakes, Max.

Well...

- Not a fucking mistake, man.

Sticking your fuckin' dick in your best mate's wife,

that ain't a mistake.

Yeah, it is. It's a mistake...

How is that a mistake?

'Cause... You know,

that's like a life mistake.

- A life mistake...

Like, you make life mistakes?

But a mistake is more like,

if you're out of school and you misspell a word.

That's a mistake.

Yeah, that's a mistake.

Somebody asks you to spell "Cat" and you spell it "C-O-T".

That's a mistake.

But sticking your dick in your best mate's wife,

that's not a mistake.

Unless it was dark when he fucked her.

So, it's the wrong decision, then.

Which is, I guess...

'Cause, I mean, Carey knew what he was doing was wrong,

he knew that it wasn't his wife.

He knew whose wife it was.

He know he was wrong.

But he did it anyway!

So that's not a mistake.

Mistake is when you don't know

it's wrong, when you're doing it.

Well, yeah, I reckon he deserves a second chance.

He's already had a second chance.

This is the second time he's pulled some shit like this.

He... went to court a couple years ago

for feeling up a chick's tits.

What's wrong with that?

What's wrong with...

What's wrong with what?

Feeling up a chick's tits?

Feeling up the titties...

Look, if she's happy for you to do it,

then that's great.

But, she wasn't.

How do ya know that she wasn't lying?

Like, uh...

Well, look, you have to get by what the court says.

I mean, the court says...

You know, they heard all the evidence,

and they said yep.

You know?

Don't believe everything you're reading.

Oh, look. You are, man...

You're... man, I think you're just biased.

I mean, you're a North Melbourne supporter

so of course everything Wayne Carey does...

No.

I mean, you think the sun shines out his arse!

The great outdoors.

That's it, mate.

So I'm supposed to take a shit, right there?

You could do it in the road, if you like.

Well, what am I supposed to do to wipe my arse?

Thanks.

Pitiful.

I ain't showing ya me fuckin' cock .

I wouldn't.

So, Ray...

How much would it take for you,

to eat a bowl of shit?

A bowl of shit?

Yeah.

Let's say they,

presented you with the offer.

You know, money for eating a bowl of shit.

How big's the bowl?

Just a cereal bowl?

Normal bowl.

Whose shit?

Whose shit, what? Does it matter?

Well, it matters, man.

What's the difference in...

Shit is shit.

Shit ain't shit...

Big difference between my shit and somebody else's shit.

But what's the difference?

Well, it's my shit.

I don't wanna eat somebody else's fuckin' shit.

Okay, okay.

Let's say it's your shit, then.

Yeah?

How much would it take for you to eat it?

Hundred grand?

Hundred grand...

That's for a bowl of your shit.

How about my shit?

Half a mill.

Half a mill!

So, about five times...

Why, why...

What's the, I mean...

My shit's definitely gonna be better than yours since I eat a lot better.

Yeah, but that's... it's your shit.

Yeah?

So it doesn't matter how good you eat.

It's never gonna be better than my shit.

Well...

Well, let's leave it like that.

So how much to eat my shit? For you?

Oh, I wouldn't.

You wouldn't eat my shit?

For any money in the world?

Well, I wouldn't eat your shit,

I wouldn't eat my shit.

I just wouldn't...

You know, I'm not into shit.

Yeah, well, I'm not big on shit either...

Fucking hell!

I mean, I wouldn't do it for free!

Where's the jacket?

Wiped my ass with it.

Oh, fuck.

Alright. Let's go.

I don't get it.

Did he suffer?

Well, I don't think he did. But...

Well, there you go, mate.

That's why I did it.

He didn't suffer.

If somebody else had to do it,

somebody else who didn't give a shit about him,

he would've fuckin' suffered.

Right?

You understand?

Yeah, I understand this,

but I don't understand how you can,

I mean...

Still, you killed him.

I mean,

you killed your friend.

He had to go, right?

Somebody was gonna do it, right?

If not me, somebody else. Right?

That somebody else, right?

Would've made him suffer.

He would've known it was coming,

he would've been pissing his pants,

and crying his fucking eyes out.

Right?

And if that's the way he's gonna go,

I didn't want him to fucking go like that.

At least this way, he didn't fuckin' suffer. Right?

Turn it off me.

Are you gonna let him go?

See how we go.

What does it depend on?

I mean, I think he's been,

honest and I don't think he's gonna...

You know,

fuck around.

Think the money's there and everything will go smooth.

What do you think?

Well, see how we go, I guess. I mean, if the money's there...

I'll make up my mind then, I guess.

If he doesn't, you know...

If he shows his face back there in Melbourne again...

You know, that's not good for me.

I don't think he will.

Yeah, but that's the thing, mate.

I mean, there's no guarantee.

I mean, if he ends up in jail?

He goes to Queensland and ends up in jail.

You know, I don't...

You know.

I don't think it's such a good idea to let him go.

Alright.

Before you say anything.

I know it's not eighty cash,

but I didn't know what else to tell ya.

I thought that, uh...

If I told you that it was cash you'd be more incline

to take me up on the offer.

But that, is half a key of pure, uncut coke.

And you'll... you'll easily get,

a hundred grand for it.

What am I supposed to do with it?

Do I look like a fucking drug dealer?

Well, er, but... No.

But you know drug dealers.

Or I know drug dealers, I've got contacts.

And if I...

I mean, I can talk to 'em and say Look,

I've got this half a key, pure. Eighty grand.

They'll snaffle it up,

because it's worth so much more than that.

Well, not much... Not heaps heaps more,

but it's cheap.

And so they're guaranteed to buy it.

I'll guarantee you can...

You can offload in 24 hours.

And if I had said to you "I got a bag of coke up there",

I didn't think you would have...

Ray?

Do you understand my predicament?

Do you understand where I'm coming from?

'Cause, I mean, if you were in the same situation,

you gotta say whay you...

I'm not bullshitting.

That's like, powdered cash.

That's like eighty thousand dollars in powdered cash, right there.

Ray?

Let's go.

Take off.

Hold on...

Take off.

Can I fucking go?

Piss off.

Y'know what piss off means?

Come on, he told you to go. Go!

Thanks, Ray.

Just fucking go away.

Thanks, Max.

Go.

I won't forget this.

- Hope to fuck you don't. - Gone!

Disappeared!

Got the ugliest pair of fuckin' underpants

I've ever seen in my life.

What do you mean?

They're mine.

That is, "If you're watching it means that..."

Right. I get ya.

Like Pauline Hanson did.

Where she said, you know?

"If you're watching this I'm dead".

Sort of thing.

Kind of thing, yes.

Yeah. Alright. So yeah.

Like, I'm dead.

When people see this I'm dead already.

Yes. Yes.

But they don't know.

So you have to tell them.

I mean, they might know.

It depends how you die, you know?

Yeah, alright.

If you... die in some spectacular way,

Yeah.

And you get, you know, to be famous...

Which will be good because then I would make

a little bit of money out of this,

if you actually became famous.

Yeah, well.

Yeah but you gonna be fucked.

Am I?

Well, this comes out,

and people see me killing people,

and you were there...

I mean, that makes you an accessory.

Well, I'll figure a way not to... you know.

I'll just get the money.

You'll just get the money...

I don't care about fame.

Take off to South America or anything.

Yes.

Alright.

So, I'm just saying "I'm dead".

Yeah.

Like if you wa... you know?

"If you watching this that means that..."

And, you know.

"I'm dead" blah blah blah.

And, you know, be kind of dead serious...

- Serious? - But humorous.

Okay.

Yep. You want me to look there?

Or you?

Yeah, no.

There?

Camera, camera... lens.

But you're no Marlon Brando.

That's what you're trying to do now.

No, that's cool. That's cool.

Yeah? Alright.

So you just tell me when you...

Anytime.

Right now? Yeah?

- Yeah. - Rolling?

Okay.

The rea...

It's okay, it's okay.

Yeah, just gotta think what I wanna say.

Alright, ok.

You rollin'?

- Yep. - Alright.

So, yeah. The reason, uh...

I agreed... I mean,

when I decided that I... well.

Fuck, man. It's tough.

How's it going.

When I agreed to make this documentary,

I agreed on one condition.

The condition...

The condition was...

The public would only get to see this film if I was dead.

After I was dead.

So, if you're seeing this now,

basically means that...

Yep.

I'm no longer with us, sort of thing?

So, uh...

Yeah, I hope ya... you know?

Enjoy the...

Enjoy the show.

How's that?

Alright. So what are you doing?

I'm gonna catch the tram. Up here.

Yeah.

What about you?

I'll just go on a train, alright?

All right.

Well we...

You know, I'll give you a call, you'll give me a call and...

Yeah, yeah.

Definitely, mate.

Well,

Thanks... very much,

It's been like... great.

Thanks, man. Yeah.

See you soon.

Oh, yeah. Keep in touch!

Right. Sure.