Original subtitles

Here's the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls.

All of them had hair of gold, like their mother, the youngest one.

Here's the story of a man named Brady.

Thank you.

Do you mind if I come in?

I don't know what's wrong with me. Well, you're still in the park. You haven't

said five words since we left Cindy out to college.

I did, too.

I said six words.

Cindy's not our little baby anymore.

Oh, Mike.

It's just so hard to accept.

Cindy in college?

I know, honey, but you've got to face that.

Cindy is 18 years old. She's all grown up.

All six of the kids are.

Yeah. No more lunches to make. No carpools. No music lessons. No ballet

Oh, no Little League, no Cub Scouts, no Brownies, no Girl Scouts, no Boy Scouts.

I'm an unemployed mother.

Well, you gotta look on the bright side of it. Now we've got some time to

ourselves. What about that cruise we've always been threatening to take? Let's

take it.

We can start enjoying a brand new life.

You're right. Sure am.

We can go away weekends whenever we like.

It'll be wonderful.

Our lives will be ours.

It'll be great.

Terrific. Oh, Mike.

What?

Hi, Philip.

Hi, Dan.

Hi, Bob.

Listen, I'd better get my jacket or we'll never get to the concert. Hold on.

Is it cold out?

No. Okay.

All set.

What's so funny?

You look like you're proposing.

Funny you should mention that.

You mean you really are proposing?

You're really proposing?

You are to me?

You're the only girl in the room.

Well?

Can I think about it?

Sure.

How long do you need?

About three seconds. One, two, three. Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Oh, you want me to get it? No, no, no. I'll get it.

Oh, Jerry. Oh, come on. Let that all go.

Oh, it's Jan and Phillip.

Good morning, kids.

Hi, Dad.

Sorry to drop over without calling. Oh, don't be silly.

We weren't doing anything important.

You don't consider a rerun of Gilligan's Island important?

Well,

watch out.

Mr. Brady, we've known each other, what, two years?

How many times have I asked you to call me Mike?

Well, I'm a little old -fashioned, Mr. Brady. I still call teachers Mr. and

Miss, and I've been a teacher myself for three years. Are you uncomfortable

calling me Mike? Well, yes, I am.

But how about Dad?

Dad?

I think I'd better sit down.

In accordance with tradition, I'm supposed to ask the father for his

hand.

And you're asking, right?

Yes, sir, I'm asking.

Well, I... Dad, it's not like Philip's the eighth guy I've brought in here this

week. Now, honey, could we talk about this for just a minute? Oh, sure.

I think I'll find another room.

Thank you, Philip.

Philip! There's coffee in the kitchen.

Oh. I don't understand this. I thought

you'd be thrilled. I thought you liked Philip.

We do. We love Philip. You know that.

Oh, well, then what's the problem?

I'm on my own.

Philip and I have known each other for a long time.

You like him. I love him.

Honey, it isn't that. It's just that... Well, Marsha... Marsha?

What's Marcia got to do with me? With my wedding? Nothing, but it's... Jan,

sweetheart, this is all happening so fast. You have to understand.

You want me to get married after Marcia? Just because she's the oldest?

I can't believe it. Well, no, we didn't say that, Jan.

That's always how it was with me and Marcia.

Doesn't anything ever change?

Well, all I hear all day long at school is how... great Marsha is at this, or

how wonderful Marsha did that.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

Now, sweetheart, all those awards staring me in the face was just too

tired of being in Marsha's shadow all the time. Now, Jan, you're not in

anybody's shadow.

Well, Marsha's three years older than you.

I love Philip, and I want to marry him.

Marsha's my sister, and I love her too, but...

It's not my fault if she didn't get married first.

Honey, that isn't what we meant to say. You caught us off guard. Sure you have

our permission.

And our blessings. Yes, and our blessings.

Thank you.

Congratulations, sweetheart.

Can we talk about the wedding arrangements later? Sure.

Sure.

Come on out, Philip. It's all over.

All over?

Oh, no.

I meant the discussion.

Oh, you wanted her hand. You got it.

After the wedding, you get everything else.

Oh, Dad.

Well, the allergies, the overdrafts, and the flat tires.

Congratulations,

Philip.

Thanks, Mrs. Brady.

Mom. Thanks, Mr. Dad.

Dad.

Let's tell my folks.

Great. I hope they'll be even happier.

I don't think we handled that too well.

Oh, honey, kids in love always have trouble with their parents. Yeah.

Remember that rainy night?

It must have been 3 o 'clock in the morning.

We were in the car.

Dad came out with a flashlight and caught us in the backseat.

Do you remember?

No, that wasn't me.

Mind if I sit down?

Parlez -vous English?

I'm sorry, are you speaking to me?

Well, if you're sorry, I'll just take my tray to another table. No, that's not

what I meant. Sit down.

Only for lunch. When I'm finished, that's it.

I'm gone.

Could you pass me the salt, please?

Thanks.

Have a pepper.

Thanks.

Sugar?

How about a napkin?

Another napkin?

How about your silverware, your credit cards, and your shoes?

Got your attention, didn't I?

Yes, you did.

If I can venture an opinion, your body may be sitting here, but your mind is

sitting in an entirely different restaurant.

Do you have a problem?

No.

Sometimes you can solve a problem by confiding in a perfect stranger.

Now, I may not be perfect, but I am a stranger.

It's not really a problem. It's more of a family situation.

Oh.

Well, Cain and Abel started as a family situation.

It's kind of personal.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't mean to intrude.

You see, my younger sister Jan came home to tell my folks that she wants to

marry Philip. Philip's a great guy. He's an assistant science professor at a

junior college. Jan loves him. I love him. So do Greg, Peter, Bobby, and

Everybody loves Philip, but that's not the problem at all. You see, Jan

that Mom and Dad think that since she's younger than me that I should get

married first, which really has no bearing on anything. Mom and Dad tried

convince her and said okay to Jan's marriage, but that still hasn't made it

easier. That's why it's a problem, and I'm in the middle, even though I'm the

oldest, except for Greg.

Understand?

This much.

What you're telling me is that your parents feel the oldest daughter should

married first, and you're the oldest.

Right. It's a little old -fashioned, but there's a simple solution. You get

married first, then there's no problem with your sister, Jan. No, but there's a

problem with me.

Jan's going to be married in a couple of months, and I'm not even going with

anybody. So who am I going to marry?

How about me?

What?

It's the least I could do to prevent a problem in your family.

Be happy I sat here. You'll be marrying one of those two guys over there.

I'm sorry. I make it a policy not to marry on the first date.

We won't get married now. You see, you just accept the proposal now. We'll get

married in a few weeks, before jam.

I don't even know your name.

Interested, huh?

That's progress.

Wally Logan.

Marsha Brady.

For now.

You don't know anything about me.

Well, what do I have to know?

You're beautiful.

And you're bright.

Concerned about your family.

Sensitive to your sister's feelings.

You're easy to talk to.

Got a good sense of humor.

And you hardly eat anything at all.

You know what I think?

I think I've been looking for you all my life.

You know what I think?

What? I think there's two guys in white coats looking for you.

Bye -bye.

There are 11 Marsha Brady's in the phone book and I had to send flowers to all

of them.

The least you could do is meet me for lunch tomorrow.

Wally.

Wally.

Afraid I wouldn't show, huh?

No, I was afraid you would.

Oh, did you get my flowers?

Yes.

Did you really send them to all those Marsha Brady?

No.

I asked the cashier here if she knew where you worked. I got your address

your company.

It got you here, didn't it?

Only to thank you for the flowers.

I didn't want to embarrass you by having you wait around all day.

I would have, too.

Your card said that you worked for the Tyler Toy Company.

Are you a toy salesman? No, I'm a real salesman.

I just sell toys.

I'll bet you've played with plenty of Tyler toys. How about Snoozy Suzy?

Snoozy Suzy? That was my favorite doll.

You pull a cord, and it sang a chorus of lullabies, and it put itself to sleep.

First one eye closed, and then the other eye closed, and then it snored.

Snoozy Susie does not snore.

Mine did. It went... It's not supposed to.

Malfunction. I'll get you a new one.

Let's not talk shop. Let's talk marriage.

Now, I told my folks about you. Have you told your folks about me? No.

Well, tell them. They wouldn't believe me.

Well, tell them. And meet me back here at the end of the day. Well, I couldn't,

even if I wanted to. I'm working late on some designs for a fashion show, Wally.

Lorraine, try on the other one.

Is Marsha Brady here?

I'm sorry.

These are private rooms back here.

Reginald Finsterwald.

State Clothing Commission.

Now, Marsha Brady.

Uh, Marsha's over there.

Thank you. Sorry.

Marsha?

Waldie, what are you doing? Reginald Pinsterwald, State Clothing Commission.

I'm here to inspect hemline standards.

We have work to do.

We all got our jobs to do, lady.

What can I do to make you go away?

Go out with me Saturday night. That's blackmail. It's either that or I close

this place down.

Okay. You win, Mr.

Fensterwald.

I'm glad I took that job at the real estate office.

It's helped me forget that Jan hasn't called for a while.

She hasn't called for a week.

Eight days, 11 hours, and four minutes.

All we did was mention Marsha. And Jan jumped to conclusions.

Can't say I blame her.

Jan comes over here with the biggest news of her life, and we blew it.

You're right.

We should have lit fireworks and we fizzled.

You know what, honey?

What? I think we should phone her and tell her that.

Okay.

Sorry. I didn't even give you and Mom a chance to say anything.

Oh, Mom, I know you both want what's good for me, and I behaved like a jerk.

Make that two jerks. That's unanimous.

Honey, we couldn't be happier for you and Phillip. We love you both.

If you have a sweetheart, we were behaving like parents. I love you.

Can I call Phillip and have him come over? We have a few things we want to

discuss with you.

Invitations, guest list, caterers. Call him, call him. The sooner the better.

Phillip has passed.

This is Wally Logan. Hello, Wally. Hello, Mr. Brady.

Nice to meet you.

Wally, this is my mother.

Hello, Mrs. Brady. Hi.

Sorry to have dropped in without calling.

The last time I heard anybody say that, Jan told us she was getting married.

I think I'd better sit down.

Mr. and Mrs. Brady, you don't know me too well.

We've never seen you before in our lives.

You trust Marcia, don't you?

Yes. And you've taught her to be careful about making important decisions?

Yes.

How long have you two known each other?

Seven days.

Seven wonderful days.

Right.

It's quality, not quantity.

Wait a second. If you have a second.

Are you telling me that you met and decided to get married in seven days?

Wonderful or not?

Mom, you told me you knew you were in love with Dad in less than a week.

But that was different.

I was older. I already had children.

Surely you don't want us to have children first.

Just a little touch of humor.

I really love him.

I didn't think I would.

But I do.

So will you once you get to know him.

We would like to get to know him. You sure would.

What about the future? Have you had any time to think about that?

We both work.

Wally has a great job as a representative for Tyler Toys.

Mom, do you remember my snoozy, snoozy dog, the one that sang itself to sleep

first? One eye closed and then the other eye closed.

Not now, honey.

Wally, what do your parents think?

They think we're just as crazy as you do.

At least he comes from a good home.

We know that this is all very sudden.

But Marcia and I are adults.

We love each other and we want to get married.

But we won't do it unless we have your consent.

I think I better sit down.

You are sitting down.

Well?

Well?

Congratulations. Now that's progress.

Philip was grading papers he wanted to finish and come over tomorrow.

Hi, Marsha, have I got news.

Who's your friend?

He's more than a friend, Jan.

Apparently. Marsha, you and Jan, we'll start from the beginning.

The wedding is on. I know.

Mine.

Wally Logan, I'm marrying your sister.

Oh, Marsha, that's wonderful. Both of us getting married at the same time.

The same day.

Yeah.

Wait a second. Nobody said anything about same time or same day.

Nobody said no.

Well, don't look at me.

Congratulations.

You just sold your first house.

Better than that.

Oh, two houses.

No, two daughters.

You sold your two daughters?

Paging Dr.

Brady. Dr. Greg Brady.

Oh, Dr. Brady, there's a phone call for you.

Thanks, Maria.

This is Dr. Brady.

Hello, Greg.

Mom, anything wrong?

Oh, no, nothing's wrong. I just have such wonderful news I had to call.

You're lucky you caught me.

I'm just about to make rounds.

How would you like to come to a double wedding?

Great, as long as it's not mine.

Marcia and Jan are both getting married at the same time.

Fantastic.

I know how busy you are, Greg, but it wouldn't be the same if their big

wasn't there.

I'll manage somehow, Mom.

The first wedding of the Bradys.

I remember Marsha's first date.

I want to know all about it. Who the guys are, when it's going to be.

Marcia's fiancé is Wally Logan.

She just met him and they decided to get married after only seven days.

Well, you know Phyllis. He and Jan have been thinking about it for some time.

Dr. Brady, they need you next week right away.

Well, they decided to get together and have the double wedding.

Fantastico!

Congratulations. Buena suerte.

Thank you.

Ah, this is embarrassing.

I mean, I enlisted in the Air Force for a while so I can decide what to do with

the rest of my life.

A seemingly mature decision.

And over the PA, all the guys here. Airman Brady, your mommy's calling.

Oh, give me a break.

I'm sorry, Peter, but this is important.

Important?

Marsha and Jan are getting married in a double ceremony to two great guys.

Nah, nah, go on. Really?

So Philip finally popped the question, huh?

But Marsha doesn't even have a boyfriend. Who's she marrying?

His name is Wally Logan.

It was a whirlwind romance. We hardly know him ourselves.

Mom, that is terrific.

My sisters are getting married, sir.

Peter?

Oh, okay, Mom, I'm back. So when's the wedding?

We don't know exactly. There are so many friends and relatives to consider.

Okay, when you work it out, give me a call so I can arrange for leave, all

right? Roger.

Hello?

Hey, cool you guys, will you?

Yeah?

Marsha and Jan, both of them?

Right, Bobby.

And naturally, we want you at the wedding.

Well, when is it?

Soon. We don't know exactly.

Well, it doesn't matter. I'll be there.

Unless I...

Drop out of college, sign a big league contract, and make it to the World

all in the next month.

Oh, Bobby.

Goodbye.

Marsha and Jan getting married on the same day?

Oh, Mom, a double wedding.

That's fabulous.

How did that make you feel, Cindy?

Like an old maid.

Well, you just stay single for a while.

Well, there is this guy.

Cindy.

Just kidding.

What's Wally like?

Oh, well, he's just as nice a guy as Phillip, but they're as different as can

be. Well, what does he look like?

Oh, he's cute and adorable.

You'll be able to recognize him. He'll be the one marrying Marsha.

Wally, we have to get organized.

We've got to get invitations, so we need a list of all of the guests.

Couldn't we just have an open wedding? You know, put up signs on telephone

poles? You haven't lost a puppy.

You found a wife.

I sure have.

And besides, I've already told my apartment manager that I'm moving out.

Oh, then you mean you're really going to go through with this, huh?

You can't back out now, Buster.

I wouldn't want to.

Believe me, I've never seen her before in my life.

Here's your copy of the people I think we should invite.

As you can see, it's all alphabetized. What little carrots by the names mean?

Vegetarians. You think of everything.

You're so practical.

Please don't call me practical.

Dull people are practical.

I'm not dull, therefore I'm not practical.

I simply try to examine everything from all sides.

What about me?

Did you try to examine me from all sides?

Naturally. It was the only practical thing to do.

Now, here's your copy of the list of songs for the reception.

As you can see, it's alphabetized, too. Uh -huh.

And these letters, F and S.

Fast and slow.

Exactly.

Is there anything you haven't thought of?

Yes.

I haven't thought of any way that we can afford a big, beautiful apartment after

we're married.

Oh, honey, it doesn't matter.

I mean, I can move into your place, or you can move into my place. Well, that's

$820 or $775.

Dollar? No, square feet.

My apartment's 45 square feet larger, so I suggest we move into my place after

the wedding.

Agreed. And now, about the wedding night.

If you pull out a list of alphabetized activities, I'm going to give you such a

hit.

I did have a few things written down. What?

Well, what do you think?

I love the invitation I got to Barbara's wedding. It had a Picasso abstract

design. That sounds terrific to me. An invitation that's contemporary and

current. With old English lettering. Now, that's really a traditional

invitation.

Maybe with a quote from Shakespeare.

Or George Bernard.

Springsteen. Bruce Springsteen. That would be perfect music for the wedding.

And maybe we can have an electric guitar.

That'll be perfect with... A cello, violin, and flute. I love that kind of

music, too. That sound goes so well with... Guacamole and chips.

Right. That sets the mood for Mexican food.

Like... Beef wellington and spinach souffle.

That's very traditional, too.

Like my beautiful long veil. And I love the idea of lace cuffs. Maybe on a

sleeveless dress.

That should look terrific with me in my Greek shirt and sandals. Pop hat and

tails.

Sounds good to me.

Sounds good to me.

Sounds good to me.

Sounds good to me.

Avril Van Owen.

Oh, yeah, that's the friend of Philip and Jan.

I'll just put them at their table.

Okay.

David Gilbert.

Who's David Gilbert?

It's got to be a friend of Wally.

Julie Sullivan?

Coming!

Julie Sullivan.

David Gilbert?

Gilbert and Sullivan.

Gilbert and Sullivan.

A laundering minstrel, I have seen a friend.

Passes. Coming!

been so happy in my life.

Alice, stop crying. You're getting the skirt all wet.

But this is the room where you were a little girl, where you used to play,

your toys scattered all over and wrote on the wall in crayon and never picked

anything up.

Whatever happened to that sweet little girl?

Alice, everybody grows up.

I know, but you and Jan getting mad, mad, mad.

Hello, girls.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, that's going to be nice.

Marsha, you even look pretty in a pattern.

Oh, here's where I left these.

Did you sell any houses today, Mom? Not exactly, but there is an offer in on the

Hastings Avenue house.

I think it's so great, Mrs. Brady, you working in real estate. Is it hard to

sell a house?

I don't know.

I haven't sold one yet.

But you're getting closer.

Well, as long as you two are working on the dress, I think I'll go over and meet

with the caterers and discuss the arrangement.

Great. Besides, I can get a few pointers from Alice.

She's practically a new bride herself.

New bride?

Are you kidding?

Sam and I have been married almost four years.

I still remember our wedding night.

Sam bowled a 226.

And now I'm getting married.

Do me a favor.

Try not to drown, Marsha.

Oh, that's going to be so beautiful.

Silk, right? Silk crepe de chine, with a little silk hat and a short veil.

Really modern. It's the newest fashion.

Sounds beautiful.

Well, designing is my job.

I've also designed one for Jan.

Hi, Marsha.

We'd need a rowboat.

Isn't the dress beautiful?

Yes, it's beautiful.

Well, I'm glad you like it because I've got something for you.

Look out for the pins.

Lovely. I knew you'd like it.

Well, it's not exactly what I had in mind.

I was thinking of something a little more traditional.

You know, with a lot of lace and a long train.

Well, this one is more in keeping with the modern flavor.

Who says the wedding has a modern flavor?

Jan, Marcia, this is none of my business, but haven't you already talked

this out?

Oh, well, Philip and I just assumed we'd have a traditional, dignified kind of

wedding. Wally and I see it a whole different way. We'd like something with

flair and style.

I refuse to look ridiculous at my own wedding.

Great, now you're seeing it my way.

Marcia! Jan.

Well, that's what you say, but it is my wedding. You girls, please! Your

wedding? It's my wedding too, you know. Listen, Marsha, Philip and I have been

talking about this for a long time.

Okay,

Alice, who's right? Yeah, who?

Your parents.

They'll have the perfect solution.

I hope.

Here they are.

I'm so glad you and Philip are getting a chance to meet.

And right on time. Come on in.

Get the introductions over with. We can sit down to Carol Chateaubriand.

Wally Logan, Philip Covington. Nice to meet you. May I call you Wallace?

Wally's fine.

Okay, Philly?

Well, Philip is preferred. Phil is possible, but Philly, no, never.

Whatever.

We've asked you here for a couple of reasons. First of all, you haven't met.

And second, we understand you seem to be having a difference of opinion about

the wedding.

Dad, we know you're trying to help, but...

We're not kids anymore. We have to work things out for ourselves.

However, your father's right.

It's best to present all the facts.

It's kind of like the announcement of the trumpeter's swan to rival mail.

I never thought of it quite that way.

Is he serious?

Always. Now, let's all sit down and talk it out.

Come on.

Remember, now what's important is the wedding.

Now, we want you two couples to like each other and get along.

Well, they want chamber music, violins and cellos.

We never said chamber music. They want rock and roll.

We never said rock and roll. They said top hats and tails.

We did not.

But we don't want open shirts and sandals. That's right, and we want

vows. Well, we want to write our own. Hold it, hold it. Can't we compromise?

Maybe this is too much of a change, but what about separate weddings?

You can do anything you want. Just call me sometime and let me know how it all

worked out.

Wally!

Mr. and Mrs. Brady, I'm sorry.

Good night, Jan.

It was nice meeting you, Philly.

Mike.

Maybe a double wedding isn't such a good idea after all.

No, I hate to say this, but maybe Wally was right.

You mean you don't want to be part of a double wedding?

I don't even know if I want to be part of a single wedding.

Philip, please.

Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Brady.

What do you think?

Well, I usually cry at weddings, but I think I better start right now because I

might not get the change.

More coffee?

Alice, please sit down. You don't work here anymore.

I know, but once I set foot in this kitchen, habit takes over.

Besides, worrying about the coffee gives me something to worry about so I don't

have to worry about what I'm really worried about.

Wally's impulsive. He couldn't mean what he said last night.

Oh, that's good to hear.

On the other hand, Philip isn't impulsive. He could mean what he said.

That's not so good to hear.

They're going to come to their senses, aren't they?

Sure. You really believe that?

No.

I was positive Marcia or Jan would call me this morning and say, April Fool,

Mom.

Would anybody like a cup of coffee?

Thanks.

I was sure I'd get a call.

Oh, I must be out of practice.

I'll bet it's Marcia. She never could carry a grudge. Maybe it's Jan.

She was always the first to admit she was wrong. You're right. It's probably

Jan. She never could stay angry. Maybe you were right the first time. Marcia is

more flexible.

Remember the time she got to Matt?

Alice, if we don't answer that phone, we'll never know if it's Jan or Marsha.

Hello, Jan. Marsha.

Peter. Peter.

Peter. Peter.

What? Honey, we didn't expect your call.

How are you?

I'm okay, Mom, but something awful's come up. Did Greg tell you?

Greg? No, no, I found out from my captain.

Your captain?

How would your captain know?

Well, I guess the colonel told him. And the general told him. That's how it

works. Peter.

I think we might be talking about two different things. Well, I'm talking

flight exercises. The orders just came through.

The whole squadron's got to take off in nine days.

I guess I'm going to have to miss the wedding.

You too?

You mean there might be somebody else who can't make it?

That is a possibility.

Well, I'm sorry, Mom, but the Air Force has got dibs on me. They got this idea

that national security is more important than my sister's wedding.

Well, I'll tell Jan and Marsha.

I'm sure they're going to be disappointed.

Okay, Mom, tell them I'm sorry. Bye.

They said meet them here.

This is Philip's favorite place.

He says the ambience is stimulating.

He would.

Wally.

Wally.

Come on.

You've got to try to get along.

That's the purpose of this meeting. Don't be so stubborn.

Honey, I get along with everybody.

It's that Philip. He's the one who's stubborn.

Or else he'd agree with me.

Please, Wally.

Okay.

Or as we say in the toy business, let's wind her up and see if it chugga

-chuggs.

Where are they?

That's what makes us different.

We're always early.

Philip and Jan are always... Right on time.

Hi. Hello.

How's it going? How you doing?

It's fine. Good.

Should we order before we talk?

Why beat around the bush? Like Philip says, trumpeter swans lay it all on the

table. Not precise, but acceptable.

We could order some wine first.

Chug -a -chug.

Sir, excuse me, pal. You got a wine list?

This is our favorite restaurant.

No wonder. The ambience is stimulating.

Very well put.

About last night... Go ahead.

Last night...

We got outside and Philip and I started to talk.

Whether it's your way or our way isn't as important as getting married.

That's what we were saying. I mean, why should we let a small difference of

opinion stop what we all want?

Then we're agreed.

Agreed. Agreed. There's a problem. What?

We haven't agreed on anything.

Why bring up details?

We agreed to agree, didn't we? Yeah, at least that's a good starting point.

Have you decided?

Yes, we'll have the cold duck. Did you say 1969?

Did you say cold duck?

Which will it be?

Yes.

We'll have cold duck.

Does duck go with chicken?

Like birds of a feather.

friends again. Yes.

Friends, friends, friends.

And now that we're friends, let's all be relatives.

Relatives, relatives, relatives.

In vino veritas.

Are you drunk or was that Latin?

Maybe a little of both.

In venus es veritas.

In wine there's truth.

Hey, that's it.

We'll let the wine decide.

I mean the wine bottle.

Did you ever play spin the bottle?

Sure. Sometimes.

Never.

Give me the bottle.

I'll spin the bottle, and whoever it lands on gets to decide the style of the

wedding. Great idea.

Sounds fair to me. May I see the bottle, please?

You don't trust me?

Trust the man who gives the world Snoozy Susie?

Thank you. Okay, here we go.

Who's it gonna be?

Here we go.

Come on.

Yes!

halfway between us. What do we do now?

Good year for wine, bad year for spinning.

According to the bottle, the wedding should be half and half.

Half and half.

Hey.

Mom, it's Marcia.

Hi.

Jan, Philip, and Wally are with me. If you're still interested in throwing a

wedding, we're still interested in having one or two.

What's it gonna be, traditional or modern?

Uh, traditional modern.

Or modern traditional.

What does that mean?

We're not sure yet, but we're sure gonna find out. Bye.

Goodbye.

Oh, isn't it wonderful?

Terrific. We gotta get back to work. All systems are go again.

Right.

Peter... Peter can't be here.

Unless... Mrs. Brady, are you planning to call the Pentagon?

Oh, don't be silly, Alice. You know you can't budge the Air Force.

What are you planning to budge then?

Not the weddings.

Alice, we can't have these weddings without all the children.

Well, can we?

No, we can't. All right. We have to call all the guests and everyone involved

and switch all the plans for everything. But first, we're going to do something

that's even more important.

What are we doing, Mrs. Brady?

We are going to put Gilbert and Sullivan back together again.

All set?

And you know what you have to do. The floors, the chairs, the organs. The

photographer, the reverend, the cake. All right.

Head them up and move them out.

This weekend, in order to make it for next weekend, I had to trade duty for 24

straight hours.

To get to the wedding this week, you know, I guess I'll have to trade another

shift.

But don't worry.

I'll be there somehow.

Are you serious?

Mom, that's the day of the college playoff. Our game's at 11 o 'clock, so

can I get there?

I may have to steal home.

And I mean steal home.

That's the day the drama department's putting on My Fair Lady.

Oh, no.

Well, honey, is there anything you can do?

Well, it's a matinee, Mom.

But I'll do me best, even if I have to hide from Henry Higgins.

By George, I think we've got it.

Cindy, does it look okay?

Beautiful.

You know, if you weren't getting married today, there's a couple guys I could

fix you up with.

How do I look?

Classic.

Gorgeous. You know, you're one of the two prettiest brides in this whole

wedding.

Cindy, do we really look okay?

For the past half hour, I've told both of you that you look beautiful, radiant,

gorgeous, fantastic.

You keep asking, I'll start telling you the truth.

Mom's going to cry again.

Mom.

Oh, Mom.

If you and Alice don't stop crying, we're all going to need snorkels.

Thank goodness your understudy took over for you.

Come on, girls, we've got to hurry. We haven't got much time.

Cindy, I didn't know that you gave up the play and you had the lead.

It's no big deal.

But if that understudy goes on and becomes a star...

I'll never speak to either of you again.

That takes

care of that.

You shaved off your mustache.

I did?

Isn't that a little spontaneous?

It's my life.

It's my lip.

I decided if I'm going to start a new life, why not start it with a new lip?

That's how I am. When I decide to do something, I do it.

Excuse me.

Perfect.

Now for that added little touch of color.

Perfect. Thank you.

You need some help with your tie?

No, I can manage.

I'm used to formal attire.

It figures.

Hi, guys.

Hi. Well, you did shave it off.

Marsha told me she said it had to go.

Oh. You decided to shave it off. All Marsha said was, Wally, about

your mustache. Either it goes or I go.

But I decided.

Hey.

You guys look pretty good.

But you should see my daughters. Ah, ah, ah, Dad.

According to tradition, the groom isn't supposed to see the bride until the

actual wedding.

Mike, what if I marry the wrong one?

I've seen them both. You couldn't.

Well, I just stopped by to see how you guys are doing. You nervous?

Me, nervous?

Yep.

My pulse is a bit rapid, too.

Well, can I help? Anything you want to talk about?

You mean man -to -man, birds -and -the -bees type talk?

I didn't think there was anything you needed to know.

I teach science, so... Yeah, I... Yes, I get the point.

Is your whole family here yet, Dad?

There's Peter now.

One down, two to go.

You know, I kind of like the mustache.

The tie's crooked.

Peter, it's so good to have you here. Well, it's not just the weddings, Mom. I

wouldn't miss that civilian food for anything.

Pete. Hey, Dad.

I don't know whether to shake hands or solicit. Come on, I got a better idea.

How are you, Peter?

I'm fine. Where is everybody?

The girls are getting ready.

Well, where's Greg and Bob?

I'm sure they'll get here. They said they'd do everything possible.

Aw, they missed the wedding because of me. I thought you were off.

All we can do is pray.

Well, at least there's a reverend here. Come on, Peter.

You ready, Wally?

You bet.

It's not too late to back out, son.

He's just kidding, Wally.

You bet.

Mother, Dad, I want you to know I appreciate how great you've been.

It's nothing to cry about.

I've worked very hard to bring you to this day. I can cry if I want.

Well, folks, good luck to all of us. Thanks, Mike.

Don't worry. Your other children will get here. I look worried. It's only

because I'm worried.

Claudia? Philip?

Philip? Did they show up yet, Dad? Not yet. Not yet. I hope it's soon.

Claudia has a good cry schedule.

I'm positive they'll be here.

Maybe.

Thanks a lot.

Attaboy, Bob.

Bobby, thank goodness you're here.

Sorry, Mom. The game went into extra innings.

Oh, nice touch with the shoes, Bob.

My cleats.

I forgot to take off my cleats.

Well, what's important is that you're here.

What's important is that we won.

At least get them out of the aisle. You might spike one of the brides. Okay.

Did you bring a good present?

You all look great.

Thank you.

So do you. But only brides are supposed to wear white.

I was in a real hurry.

Great. Glad to see you. Glad you could make it. I'm sorry I'm late, Dad. I got

stuck in the delivery room. It was twins.

Congratulations.

You better get him in there.

Come on, Greg.

See you later.

I left my bouquet upstairs.

Your bouquet?

Here you go.

It was one heck of a struggle, but now everything is absolutely perfect.

Please, be strong.

I

find

this ceremony one of the most unusual.

and one of the happiest at which I've ever officiated.

Or should I say, two of the happiest.

Phil? Philip.

Philip and Jan.

Wallace? Wally. Wally and Marsha.

You two couples are entering married life in a most joyous fashion, but what

better beginning than a double wedding for two beautiful sisters, Marsha and

Jan.

surrounded by family and friends.

I've known both of you girls throughout your lives, and I am privileged indeed

to offer my blessings upon this special occasion.

Come together, please.

Jan Brady, in accordance with tradition and the law of this state, do you take

this man, Philip Covington III, as your lawful wedded husband?

to love, honor, and cherish, in sickness and in health, till death do you part.

I do.

And to you, Philip Covington, take this woman, Jan Brady, as your lawful wedded

wife, to love, honor, and cherish, in sickness and in health, till

death do you part.

I do.

Rings, please

You

may

now kiss the bride

Marsha Brady, I love you with all my heart.

And from this day forward, everything I do will be with you, for you, and

because of you.

Wally Logan, I am proud to be your wife.

I will try to make each day a part of our life to love, to remember, and to

share.

May I now kiss the bride?

That would be a good idea.

Marcia.

Wally. Marcia.

Wally, Marcia, Philip, and Jan.

I now pronounce you husband and wife and husband and wife.

and hope

cake bring back memories?

Yes, it sure does.

We sure haven't ended up that way.

Yeah, and next Thursday, the whole squadron goes on flight exercises.

Hey, a camping trip.

Bobby, this is the Air Force.

Sleeping in tents, hiking. Sounds like fun.

Has he always been such a bozo?

Ever since I can remember.

Come on, you guys. No more of that little brother stuff.

What I do is important.

I just made the game -winning catch today with the bases loaded.

Very important.

It was. It put our team in the playoffs.

I was up against the fence. I had to jump like this.

about it, buddy. Put her there.

It's ready, everybody.

Tomorrow night, make sure you're back here for more of Nick at Night's Bunch

Brady. A one week and one week only salute to everything Brady.

Or as the French might say, Tout le chose Brady.

including two classic episodes of The Brady Bunch, plus specials, spin -offs,

and much more.

Tomorrow night, starting at 8, 7 Central, on Nick at Night's Bunch of

Now stay tuned, because the doctor is in, on the Bob Newhart Show, next on

at Night.

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