Original subtitles

Starhawk, now we're working for the other guy.

Starhawk, we finally got a piece of the pie.

Starhawk, hook our boy, we'll reach the sky.

Starhawk, yeah.

Working real hard, it's all I've done.

At the Starhawk, driving.

The people we meet, coming in off the street. Make it speed.

So come on down, girls, you know what they say about cops.

Doing shit for business.

Jesus, Sam, I've been buying from you for 15 years. Give me a break, will you?

Three months ago, I gave you a break. Two months ago, I gave you a break. This

month, you're breaking me.

Look, Jerry, I don't own a couple, you know. My boss says this deadbeat don't

pay. Cut him off. I'm sorry.

What's a few days more?

Look, Jerry, I'm just a salesman. What can I do? What can I do?

Maybe you ought to try real estate.

I've been in the drive -in business 15 years. What do I know about real estate?

As much as you know about drive -ins. Look, Jerry, at least you got the real

estate. You ought to sell.

You know, these drive -in burger joints ain't doing what they used to do

anymore. We have taco stands, health food joints, frozen yogurt.

Everybody's jogging these days.

Maybe you ought to open a jog -in and sell orange juice.

I don't need a jog -in, Sam.

I need 30 days. Just 30 days.

What kind of pies you got? I'll get you a menu.

Hey, if I wanted a menu, I'd ask for one.

Okay, big boy.

We've got banana cream, Boston cream, cherry cream, chocolate cream, coconut

cream, pineapple cream, strawberry cream, and whipped cream.

Haven't you got any regular pies?

We've got it all, honey.

We've got cherry blueberry, boysenberry, blackberry, gooseberry, raspberry.

Wait a minute, Speed Queen.

What were those cream pies you named?

Boston cream pie, banana cream pie. Forget it. Chocolate cream pie. Forget

I'll have a Dr. Pepper and some fries.

Got it.

Fries and a Dr. Pepper, Jerry. You got it, Angel. Hello.

Jeez, that's what you have to call today for.

The check?

I sent you the check, sweetheart.

I sent you the check yesterday.

Well, give it a day.

Alice,

I do care about the kids.

I ain't got anything extra. You got it all.

It's up, Angel.

I ain't talking to you, Alice.

Give me the address.

If you didn't move around so much, you wouldn't be missing the checks.

Give it to me again.

Look what I found in my fries. A lousy pencil.

Give me the manager.

Jerry!

I could have choked on this thing.

I could have turned purple.

I could have become terrified and died.

I think I'm going to sue.

Yeah, I am going to sue.

You the manager?

I'm the owner. Well, look what I found in my fries.

A pencil.

You know, fries are usually made out of potatoes, not pencils.

You know, I wish you wouldn't talk so loud.

Why's that?

See, if my other customers hear about it, they're going to want a pencil in

their fries, too.

Okay, smartass, you're real funny. You're a real comedian. You're really

with the one -liners. Here's your five.

Checked two weeks ago. Hey, that check, bone. Twice.

can't get rid of this place.

What do you think?

Well, then we haven't got any jobs. That's right.

Well, I mean, you could have given us notice. What do you call this?

I call it a rip -off.

You owe us two weeks severance pay.

We didn't quit.

Get the line.

What do you think I'm closing this joint for? I'm broke.

I ain't got no money to make payments on this joint.

I got a wife that wants alimony I haven't got. I'm up to my jockstrap in

Oh, Jerry, how did you get in so deep?

It was easy.

I lost. money.

The day McDonald's and Colonel Sanders opened, I should have closed.

They can't compete with them.

I mean, I've been quarter pounded and finger licked into the poorhouse.

Sam was right.

Drive -ins are out of date.

That's not true, Jerry.

That's true.

Car hops are out of date, too. Nobody wants to see their own pretty girls

anymore. They want to talk to robots.

Here.

Come on, take it.

Couple of sweet kids in them.

I'm sorry it happened this way.

Jerry.

Sell it to us.

What? Yeah.

Cupcake and I want to buy it.

We know we can make it work.

Don't ask us, Jerry.

You got the money.

You got to try it.

No! Angel, why is it every time you go crazy you start singing the tune of Wee?

Why not?

Wee know how to run a drive -in.

We do?

Yes, we do!

No, now that Wee thing is dead.

Look, Cherry is so behind the times. I mean, look at this place.

He spends way too much money on food and no money at all on advertising.

I mean, we can make this place smoke. We can do it. We can? Yes, we can.

All right, now, just say that we can. There is one little thing that bothers

here. And what's that?

Where are we going to get the money?

The money?

I'm Angel Laplanche, and this is Cupcake Jones, and we're here to see Mr.

Greaves. Oh.

Yes, 11 a .m. Angel, who is going to give two unemployed car hops 10 ,000

Yes, sir, all right.

Clyde Greaves.

Sorry we can't help you, but the bank can only make loans for cases of genuine

need. Should your situation change, I'll be happy to re -evaluate your loan

effort.

Ladies, you come in.

How big a loan did you want?

Just $10 ,000.

The present owner of this drive -in went broke. What makes you think you won't?

Because he was such a caution. I mean, we can really torque this place to

for the young set.

Yeah, we know how to make it smoke.

I'm afraid I can't grant a loan merely on the basis of an applicant's ability

torque or smoke.

Frankly, I think it's highly unlikely I can grant you a loan at all.

Oh, why?

Because you have no history of business experience.

Mr. Grease, before you make the wrong decision, I would really like you to

a quick look at these figures.

I think both.

These are the owner's actual expenditures over the past year.

Please look, Mr. Grease.

I am.

Now, if you'll take a closer look, you'll see that in the first column,

are the owner's actual expenditures, and in the second column, those are the

lower prices that I could purchase the same products for.

Would you like a closer look?

Ah! Ah! What's wrong?

My back snapped.

Oh, the old snap back routine.

Know it well.

Now you just leave it to me and I'll have you feeling better than good again.

Now just stand up. Now take it easy. Easy. Okay.

Jacket off.

Okay.

Angel dear, the dance. Oh! Oh, the dance.

It's all right. On the desk.

There,

now, doesn't that feel better already?

Better, yeah.

Now, I'm just going to get you deep down.

Oh, yeah, get down.

Mr. Greaves, I firmly believe that in this mechanized age of food preparation

and service, that the human touch...

is so important, don't you?

Oh, yes, touch.

I can hardly believe that people would rather be waited on by cold robots than

warm car huffs, can you?

Oh, no.

I mean, wouldn't you rather see the real thing in front of your very own eye?

Yes, definitely.

Mr. Greed, I have analyzed every financial aspect of this.

Now, may we please have the loan?

You got it.

Excuse me, Mr. Grease. Ow!

Mr. Grease!

Angel, how did you know that was going to work?

Cupcake, executives are not logical at all.

If you use too much logic on them, you lose them.

When he was talking about need, it wasn't ours he was interested in.

Let me tell you, it was his.

Excuse me, I didn't see you.

That's okay, I was in a blind spot, right in front of you. I said I was

There must be an easier way.

A little less painful?

We've got to stop meeting like this.

Look, Hiawatha, if you want to get together, why don't you just say so?

Forget it, I'm not used to the rough approach.

Especially from ice cream salesmen.

Well, then, why don't you go on by so you don't get hurt?

Good idea.

Don't be so chivalrous next time.

Watch out for the blind spots.

Oh, Mr. Hamburg.

Mr. Axe was expecting you. Thank you.

Do I look like an ice cream man?

What?

Never mind.

moment of contemplation.

There it is, sir.

The Axon gas station of the future, sir. Is it fully automatic?

Yes, sir.

Even the prices on the gas pumps can be lowered or raised automatically by

computer.

That's your first mistake.

I don't want pumps that can be lowered. I only want pumps that can be raised.

The price of oil?

can only rise.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'll correct that, sir. Now, what have you come up with to

make sure the customer pays? You'll like this, sir.

If a customer starts to drive away without paying or putting his credit

a pay slot, high -speed trap doors are automatically triggered, sir.

Trapping the customer, sir. In his car, sir. In a pit, sir. Nine feet, sir.

I like that. I like that indeed.

However, it needs some additional refinements.

Well, we could put alligators in the pit, sir.

Well, if it's totally automatic, who's going to feed the alligators?

I never thought of that, sir.

Well, think about it.

I got 20 ,000 employees I want off my payroll.

Now,

you've designed a prototype.

I want you to come with me tomorrow to see a piece of land.

The computer's picked it as a perfect place to build our flagship station.

At the moment, there's a little drive -in restaurant on it. Well, I heard he's

going broke.

So I've decided to buy it. I'm going to buy it. Yes, I'm going to buy it. Of

course I'm going to buy it. Yes, I'm going to buy it. Yes, I'm going to buy

Of course I am. Yes, I'm going to buy it.

Sir. Right.

It is all right.

But I think maybe we are stuck, no?

No.

Please, may I speak with you?

Sure.

You open soon, this restaurant?

Yeah, we sure are.

As soon as it's all fixed up. And if you want to eat, come back and see us then.

You need maybe a cook, no?

No. Ah,

but is your cook qualified?

I am the cook. Oh, I did not mean to offend.

But you see, I am a qualified cook.

Huh? Cook?

Cook!

Get in the poof!

Oh, that's lovely.

But you know, I can't read that language.

It say I graduate from the Cordon Bleu School of Cuisine in Paris.

Wow, she must be really good.

I am.

If you can make all those fancy dishes, why do you want to cook in a drive -in?

Because no one will hire a woman chef.

Such hypocrites.

See, that really sucks.

Then you want to hire me? No.

No.

Hey, look, I'm sure you're really a great cook, and it's really a bummer

nobody else will hire you, but we just plain can't afford a cook.

I will do it for bread and food only.

But we just told you we can't pay you any bread. No, no, no, no. I mean food.

Not a bad deal.

It's a good deal. You see how good I cook. I show you right now.

Cook is right.

Now you taste.

Hamburgers and hot dogs? I want you to see how good I cook Native American

cuisine. Oh, the old hamburger cordon bleu. I didn't recognize you there for a

minute.

He sold out? When did this happen? Yesterday.

Yesterday? When did the bank take over?

Well, you might say that, the bank and us. You?

Yeah, me and my partner, Cupcake Jones.

Oh, I did not know.

Well, we will sell a pint.

That's not possible. He promised to sell the meat.

Well, look, I don't know anything about that, but he took our money.

Well, that doesn't matter.

You know, there are laws against this sort of thing.

What laws?

What laws? Well, I can think of several laws. No, we sell a pint.

You like one of my French cookies?

They look good.

They smell good, too.

They taste great.

You know, I really like your French cookies. I am so glad.

Tasty, no, sir?

Don't mind if I do.

You know, I think I've managed to eat French cookies at least once or twice a

week, if not more. Mr. Axe, this is no time to be eating French cookies.

Yeah, if you have something to say, would you just say it?

I've got plenty to say to you, little girl.

In the first place, by purchasing a piece of property that has been promised

another without making a proper investigation, you have violated the law

infracted torts. What?

That's only the beginning.

Next, you have flagrantly broken the prohibitions against fiduciary land

above the prime interest rate, as stated in the real estate column.

You have subverted without any warning at all to the good faith... declarations

of a federally insured creditor, vendor, and lender, you know, by bearing false

witness to acts which are blatantly against the state charter.

Oh, is that all?

That's just the beginning.

You know, I'll let my attorneys tell you the rest.

Then get out.

I knew we'd bump into each other again.

Yeah, what the hell are you doing here?

Well, I came with him.

Then go with him.

That's mosey, Hanbrook.

It's impossible to have an intelligent conversation with hysterical fellas.

Come on.

I don't believe a word of that garbage.

Well, I do not know what he's saying, but I do not like how he's saying it.

So I get you this.

Your boy's wallet.

How did you get it? I pick it.

You're a pickpocket? Oh, no.

I am, how you say, a kleptomanic.

Uh, kleptomania.

Kleptomania? Oh.

Do you mean to say that you can't help stealing?

Don't worry.

If you lose anything, ask me, and I'll give it back.

Well, you sure picked a good time to lose control, old girl. Wait, wait,

Okay.

His name is Carter Ack, and he's president of the Axon Oil Corporation.

Wow.

Why would he want to buy a drive -in?

I don't know.

But he's not going to buy this one.

Come on, girls. We've got a lot of work to do if we're going to open this place

by tomorrow.

What's the big question? I mean, we've got all night to finish.

Oh, honey.

We at best are three not -so -talented carpenters.

How in the world do you think we're going to finish the front all by

tonight? And so what do we have on your sneaky mind?

I think that we should buy some free labor at Destiny, too.

Fuck off.

down and seeing if my feet are still there yeah if you look up and see if my

head is still here

minute ago. What are you, a punctuality freak? Yes, we must wash and prepare our

food and vegetable angel brain.

Where is she?

Ah, don't worry, she'll be here any minute. But we have nothing left from

yesterday. Now that is not true. I have some real dynamite bruises.

I'll go wait and teach you.

Hey, hey, how about some service?

Got any fries?

No. I'm afraid not. I'll have a steak, four eggs, over easy on top. You know,

easy on top.

Six slices of toast, orange marmalade, lots of butter and a large beer.

Sorry, we're not open. We don't have any food yet. Listen, baby, don't feed old

Kong none of that.

You gotta have something to eat around here. Whatever it is, you gonna get it.

Honestly, there is nothing here.

Okay. You won't get it?

I'll get it myself.

You can't do that.

It ain't in my dictionary.

Stay here with me.

You're a cook?

I am.

Oh, I ain't never seen a cook look like you. That's what all the men say.

You talk funny, you know that?

I'm in this country three weeks.

When I am here longer, I talk better.

Yeah, well, I don't care how you talk. Look what you got to eat. Nothing.

Except French cookie.

But you cannot eat French cookie before breakfast.

They are too rich.

Nothing is too rich for corn!

I'm weak from hunger.

Give me some biscuits.

Maybe some grits or something.

If you were gentlemen, maybe the French cookies would not be too much for you.

Gentlemen?

You're right.

I eat first, I kill later.

You got a few hours to live. You better enjoy it.

What you got to eat? Nothing. We're closed.

How come it is every time I show up you close up? That's not the way it happens.

Yeah, it's the way it happens. Where's the cook?

I see. I want the cook.

What does it take to get served around here?

Get me the drive -in.

Hello? Miss Laplage? Wait, please, I'll call her.

Angel? Mr.

Hex wants you.

Mr. Hex? Call me Hex.

Hello?

I want to buy your drive -in.

Surprise, Mr. Axe.

I'm not surprised.

Ah, but there's more.

I want you to make money on the deal.

A hundred percent on your investment.

Mr. Axe, why do you want to buy my drive -in?

I want to tear it down and build a gas station in the future.

Oh, tear it down.

Oh, well, you silly boy, you.

That settles it, doesn't it? You're not going to get your puny, slimy little

hands on my place?

You bureaucratic piggy, you.

Very well. You asked for it. From now on, there's no more Mr. Nice Guy.

I'm going to get that land and you're going to get nothing.

Do you think you three burger bunnies can fight a giant like Axe and Oil?

Why not, Mr.

Axe? It happens all the time in the movies.

Ta -ta, darling.

I got to get that land.

I got to get it.

Get me my son.

Yes, Dad.

Norman, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm playing tennis, Dad.

Well, I do hate to interrupt your play, but I have a job for you.

A what?

Job?

Norman. Oh, all right. I guess everyone should try one at least once in his

life. Yes, Norman.

Working as a car hop.

A what?

But listen, I have to get back to the game now because my partner is winning

without me and it's very embarrassing.

Goodbye. Oh, all right.

Okay. Bye, Pops.

Terry, I'm back!

Hi, can I see the owner, please? Hi, that's me.

Hi, I'm Norman.

I want to be a car hop.

You're putting me on, right?

No, why would I put you on?

Okay, wait here. Wait, don't go away.

Angel!

Come here, you gotta hear this one. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. Oh, let's

good.

Hi.

Hi. Hi, how are you?

Fine, how are you?

Tell her what you just told me.

Oh, I'd like to be a car hop.

Oh, yeah?

Well, look, I have great legs.

And I'm an excellent skater.

And if you don't hire me, I'm going to report you to the Civil Rights

for not being an equal opportunity employer.

I think he would.

Okay, you're hired, but only on a trial basis, and we can't pay much.

Oh, that's all right. I'm not in it for the money.

What are you in it for?

Oh,

I want to learn a trade.

Oh, well, come on, and I'll show you the tricks of the trade.

It's going to be the new car.

Hello. Hi.

Would you like one of my French cookies?

Oh, no thanks.

I'm not a cookie man.

Oh.

Excuse me here.

Oh, come on.

Hey. I think I'm going to like this job.

Dad, look, I'm telling you, it's a perfectly straight operation.

Now, there's no dope, no booze.

They give the right change, and the food is just great.

Norman, you're useless.

You can't see dirt if your nose is rubbed in it.

Everybody knows what car hops really are.

I want proof of something really rank.

I want you to prove they perform sex acts for money.

Here.

Take this recorder.

Hold the remote.

Get your legs up.

Plant these microphones in the retina.

They're not blocks, they're microphones.

You leave this recorder at your house.

You carry this activator on you.

You tap it once.

It turns on the recorder.

Tap it again.

It turns it off.

I want them to dig their graves on it, because, hey.

Norman, would you open this napkin thing for me? I can't get it. Oh, sure.

Anything for you.

I have no fear.

Normie's here.

Oh, jeez.

I think, isn't it?

Thank you.

Pretty good, huh?

Uh -huh, muscle man.

I heard you say that to all the guys.

Cupcake? What?

Did you enjoy being a car help? Oh, yeah. I mean, I like it even better than

being on the street.

The street?

Uh, you were on the street?

Yeah. I mean, if I couldn't be a car op, I'd go back. I love outdoor work.

Oh, you loved your work, huh?

I had some really good times. And I met such interesting people and got lots of

fresh air and exercise, too.

Lots of exercise, huh? I bet that's why you're in such good shape.

Yeah, I guess it is.

How'd you get started?

In the internship program.

You have to intern for that?

Well, you have to intern for any job in the highway department.

The highway department?

Mm -hmm. I was the first woman they ever hired to be a heavy equipment operator.

Angel,

could you lift your feet, please?

Sure, Norman.

Hey, have you ever been busted?

What? You know, busted for dope or theft or other things.

Well, I smoked a little grass now and then, and I stole a few towels from

rooms, but that's about it. You say you've been smoking a little grass and

taking towels from motel rooms? Norman, why are you talking so loud?

Was I? I didn't notice.

But were you ever busted?

No!

No? You say you've never been busted?

Norman, why are you shouting at me? Oh, no, it's a good question.

Angel, you are a fine -looking woman.

Thank you, Norman.

No, I mean, you really are. I mean, you must have a lot of temptation thrown

your way.

Temptation? What do you mean by temptation, Norman?

Well, you know, ways to make easy money.

Easy money?

Oh, easy money.

Yes, as a matter of fact, one time...

I did something a little bit off -color, shall we say?

Yeah? What?

I appeared in a film.

Stark naked.

What kind of film?

You know the kind of film. No talk, all action.

What kind of action?

Oh, man, it took place everywhere.

On a windowsill. Uh -huh. On the couch. Uh -huh.

In the sink?

Uh -huh. In the bathtub?

Uh -huh.

You wouldn't have any photos of the film, would you?

Photos? As a matter of fact, yes, I do.

You do? I just happened to have a publicity shot taken right on the set.

I see it? You sure can.

cute, Angel.

Goodbye, Norman.

I cannot.

We must fix quick.

I'll get a plumber.

So what's happening?

Billy, help me.

Sure, baby. What do you want me to do?

I want to get it on.

You want to get it on? I'm your man.

I'll just lay right down here next to you.

I'm going to get it on real fast.

Right here, that's where you want to get off.

Oh,

it's a tight fit.

You're going to have to help me, baby. I can't get it on alone.

Grab that.

That's it. Hold real still.

It does not fit.

It is too big.

Will. Will, be patient. We need some butter. That's what we need.

That's it. We're right on top of her.

That's it.

Now, while I push, you grab it and you...

Trying to ease it in.

Ready?

That's it. That's been easy.

Out there.

Out there.

Out there.

Out there.

Out there. Doing the best I can.

We need more muscle.

I get Norman.

Who's Norman? The new guy.

Okay, go get him. Maybe we can all get it on together.

Norman!

Ready when you are.

Norman!

You're so businesslike, it's boring.

You could find more decadence in your average nursery school.

Oh, Dad, I'm tired.

If you can't find any dirt, we'll invent some.

How clean is the kitchen?

It's like a hospital operating room.

We'll fix it. I'll call the health inspector.

Oh, Dad, this is getting dirty.

You catch on fast, son.

There's hope for you yet.

Hi,

can I help you? I'm from the health department.

We've received complaints about this place.

You the manager?

Oh, the owners are inside.

Thanks.

There's a health inspector in front. You better go talk to him. Hurry.

Hurry.

Go.

I'll take care of it. Hurry.

Go. He's out there.

Why won't you tell us who lodged the complaint?

I mean, we have a right to know. Lady, I don't make the rules.

Now, may I look around?

Be my guest.

Thank you.

Filthy. That's never happened before.

We don't even serve that kind of pie. Where did that come from?

I might ask the same question.

Show me the kitchen.

My kitchen is pure.

My father would only hang in the purest of kitchen.

I truly hope he has not been hanging long enough to collect this kind of

Do you always wash the lettuce?

But of course.

Yes, it is my personal specialty

which he passed to me.

Frog leg salad.

What?

Oh, yes!

It is a great delicacy, of course.

And it must be fresh.

Really? Fresh.

Yep. Put in the icebox until it is just properly.

French cooking, huh?

Oh, but of course.

people are in violation of damn near every health ordinance ever written.

This pigsty should be boarded up.

But lucky for you, the law says first offenders receive a probation period

and a fine.

I will see to it that it is a fat fine.

You may expect frequent and irregular visits from me.

I will look forward to the second violation, like the second coming.

But this is a set -up!

Of course.

Yeah, we don't even have rat on the menu.

You did not dress the salad, Molly.

Do not please wash it again.

And dress it.

Oh, uh, should I dress it with the frog in it?

No, you stupid poo -poo.

Norman's last name is not what he say it is.

It is Hex.

There was no fog in my salad when he tell me he press it.

He put it there.

Norman Axe. Do you think he's related to Carter Axe? Who else?

That turkey, he tried to bust our business.

Wait till I get my hands on him.

That's what you've got to do.

You've got to get your hands on it.

But not now.

There is no time like the present.

Look, just stop a minute and think, okay?

We're dealing with cowboy son, and cowboy means business. If you bust up

he'll just send someone else.

What you've got to do is get Normie on our side.

Why me?

Because you're the one he's out for.

How do I get him on our side?

Okay. First of all, you've got to find out what's in it for him if he busts up

our business.

Second of all, you've got to convince him it's not worth it.

And the way you do that is you've got to offer him something his daddy can't.

And I don't mean tennis lessons.

And I don't think I like the sound of it.

How does the sound of foreclosure sound to you?

Oh, come on, Angel. Now, that is not much of a choice.

It's the only choice you've got.

Whatever happened to we?

Who is it?

It's Susie.

Hi.

Hi. You left your wallet at work.

Oh.

Oh, well, aren't you going to ask me... to sit down.

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, sit.

Thank you. You look nice. Thank you. Really nice. Thank you.

Norman, don't you want to know why I've come?

Well, yeah, to return my wallet.

No, silly, I could have given you that tomorrow at work.

Tonight I have something else in mind to give you.

Wow, I was hoping you would say that.

And I was hoping you would say that.

Norman. Uh -huh? Why don't you show me the bedroom?

Yeah. Yeah, why don't I?

God, that's a great idea.

Norman.

Oh, I don't want to forget Cupcake.

this one. Okay, just watch me.

God,

what did you learn to do that?

I never dreamed.

Give up?

I give up.

Do you want me to stop?

No, please don't stop. Don't stop. Good.

Because I won't go an inch further until you confess.

Do that again and I'll confess to anything.

Is Carter Axe your father?

Yeah. Did he put you up to sabotaging us?

Yeah. You know, Norman, I could frame you and your old man, too.

What do you want?

Oh, not much.

What?

I want you to betray your father.

Great idea.

I'll do it.

What? Why?

Because I like the way you feel.

And I don't like the way Dad feels.

I don't even think he likes me.

Oh, Norman. I like the way you feel, too.

All right, a dozen chocolate chip danish, one large sponge cake, and

give me a... Ow!

Thanks. That was sneaky. I know.

Real sneaky.

Cup? Yeah? I made some juice for you. You did?

Yes, it's berry and pink grapefruit.

Oh, goody. Let's taste.

The normie special.

What do you think?

Oh, it's good.

I know.

You didn't like it.

Thank you.

He didn't like it.

Norman. Uh -huh?

Why did you want to ruin our business?

Cupcake, I didn't. My old man does.

He was just following orders.

Do you do everything he asks you to do?

Everything but work for a living.

Well, tell me, what is this power that he has over you?

Guilt.

I'm just not the son he wanted.

He's in the oil business, and I'm in the sun business.

He makes it, I spend it.

He wants to take it with him, I want to spread it around.

Drives him absolutely crazy.

Now that he has more money than I can spend, he is obsessed with power.

I've never had to face that problem.

Cup? Yeah?

I think I better continue working on it at the drive -in, you know?

Otherwise he'll get suspicious.

That is, if there's a drive -in left and you still want me.

Oh, Sidney, of course I still want you.

Thanks, kid.

You called me silly.

Well, I didn't mean it. Make another kiss.

Hurry up, Danielle.

Hi, Oli.

Good morning.

So, how's Norman?

He'll live.

We're going to have to do something about Kong. He's ruining our business.

He freaks the customers out.

I wonder what it would take to cool him off.

Turn him into an asset instead of an ass.

I've

got

an idea.

Oh, not another one.

Yeah, you believe it?

Look, I'll handle Kong, but you have to set up Danielle. Will you do it?

All right.

But this little idea better not lose us a kook.

Don't worry.

Kong said it was U -R -G -E -N -T.

Urgent.

That's urgent, Kong.

Urgent.

Kong, you like Danielle a lot, don't you?

So the broad don't like me. She's strange.

No, no, no. She's just foreign and exotic.

Look, I want to be your friend. I want you to take me someplace right now and

I'll explain on the way. All right? Yeah, where to?

It's a surprise.

All right?

This better be good. Hop on.

Come on, Daniel. Let's split this drive.

But I must make the kitchen fuzzy, Inspector. I am the boss and I say we

You are a fuzzy fascist. Oh, la, la.

Cupcake, hi.

Did you just get home?

Everything's cool on this end.

He looks great. You're not going to recognize him.

How's everything going on your end?

Good. I'll be right there. Bye.

Danielle, why don't you take a nice relaxing shower, wash your hair, and

then I'll set it for you.

Oh, that would be wonderful.

Okay.

Danielle, did you ever think about Tom romantically?

Oh, sometimes maybe, but my mind is lazy.

But he's really funny, isn't he?

Oh, he's not really strange.

He's sort of a purist, but he doesn't seem so pure to me.

Well, no. What I mean is, he's real Americana. I mean, he is the presence of

American subculture.

Now, you mark my words. He could teach you a great deal about American men.

He could?

Oh, sure. I mean, he can help you become a real middle American.

Oh, la, la.

I would like that billing more.

I already had a shower.

Come on. I told you. It's a real French custom.

Now go in there and show her you've got real class.

You know, I would like to be more American.

And Carl?

Oh, he is nice built on the body.

He is so very strong, he makes me feel weak.

Maybe that is why sometimes he frightens me.

But let me walk.

Sometimes inside or not.

They are sensitive.

I think Kong is sensitive.

Oh, I see nice features he has under all that air.

I get so tired in France of all the little Napoleons.

I think maybe it would be exciting to be with a big, strong man like Kong.

Oh, yes.

I think it would be most exciting to be with such a man.

If only he would take a shower.

Telling me there's nothing.

Not one little shred of truth that we can turn into a big lie.

No, nothing.

Bull turds. You're a sniveling failure.

You're worthless.

You're not worth the name of Axe. So I've been told.

When I was a rigger, I wanted to own the company.

I got it. I wanted power.

I got it.

I wanted wealth.

I got it.

I wanted a son.

I got you.

Get me Mad Dog Kellinger.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Dad, please.

Not Mad Dog.

Get out of here.

Yeah. Hey, Mad Dog.

Hey, I got a job for you. Yeah. I want you... I want you to go to this

restaurant. Yes.

What do you want?

I want to talk to you.

I'm busy. Very busy.

Well, name a time when you're not.

For you, I'm always busy.

Well, now that I have your complete attention, I was sent here to tell you

Carter Axe is willing to make you a good offer on your property.

Look, I don't want to hear about some offer I can't refuse.

Well, why don't you at least wait until you hear what he's willing to pay?

I'm going to the produce markets.

Where are you going?

Did anybody ever tell you you have beautiful eyes?

I didn't think so.

Aren't you even interested in what he's willing to pay?

You don't seem to understand, Mr. Handler. Money has nothing whatsoever to

with it. Not even $100 ,000?

Look, I don't care if it's a million dollars. I am not interested.

What are you anyway, attorney?

His architect.

No kidding.

Well, you know what that makes up?

No, what?

Enemy.

All right.

I've been authorized to offer you $150 ,000.

What is the matter with you? I don't stutter.

Listen, do you need a hearing aid?

Will you do me a favor and get lost?

I said $150 ,000.

That's a dame's car.

What will you take?

I'll take a box of oranges, please, sir. Do you mind putting them in the pinto?

Thank you.

Answer me. Will you or won't you take $150 ,000?

No, and would you please leave?

Well, if it's a description.

Hey, lady.

Is this bum bothering you?

Oh, no.

As a matter of fact, you're bothering me.

You killed him!

She won't sell.

At any price.

Yes? Mr. Axe.

Mr. M. Dog on line one.

Put him on.

Well, how did it go?

That does it.

Forget about her. Just tear the place down.

Bomb it, chop it down, blow it up. I don't care what you do, but just do it

tonight. Tonight.

Well, let me worry about that.

I'll forget you were here when I got that call.

So will you, won't you?

Do you want anything to drink? No.

Okay, that'll be 9 % of 5, 5, 3, 2,

that makes a total of...

I've got to talk to you. Can it wait a minute?

No, it can't.

I've just come from Carter Axe's office. He's hired somebody to bomb this place.

Tonight. We've got to do something about it.

What's this we stuff? I thought you were on his side.

I've never been on his side.

You haven't?

No. I haven't.

I'm sorry.

I guess I've been a little silly, huh?

Yeah.

Uh, how much is this?

Excuse me.

My leave is itching. I'm going to get out of this thing and scratch.

No. Won't be scratching my back.

Oh, to the right.

Hey, hey, hey, super dog.

How long do you want before this thing goes off?

Three minutes.

You sure that's long enough?

Come on, activate it. All right.

They must have gone through the back. So what's our plan of action? We'll

pretend we're drunk. Okay. You be stoned. All right? We'll sing.

What do you want?

Breakfast. The place is closed.

Well, then what are you doing here?

Is this a heist?

No. We're open. I was just kidding around.

Come on in.

Why don't you go outside and see if someone else wants some breakfast?

Hold it.

Put up your hands.

No matter what goes down, just do what I do, understand?

Okay.

Drop that gun or I'll cut you through.

Drop that blade or I'll cut you.

Drop that piece or I'll choke you.

Drop that chain or I'll eat you.

Eat you.

What'd you do with that?

Four. Drop that iron and I'll shoot.

Where did you put your hands up?

Not you, Sadowski.

How long before that bomb goes off?

Thirty seconds.

Holy shit.

Give me that car.

I'm so sorry.

You got a van? Give me the key.

You mean this key? Yeah.

If you still want it, it'll be available in about seven hours.

That's it.

Do you hear me? That is it.

You say your prayers because I am going to blow your brains out.

guys want to stay over this weekend?

We got four bedrooms.

Hey, thanks.

Excuse me.

Hello? Norman.

Oh, hi, Dad.

Hey, it's Dad.

Norman, I want you to send my lawyers immediately to the town jail.

Oh, I'm sorry, Pops. I can't do that. I'm having a party.

You lousy, no good excuse for a son. Now, you listen to me. Pops, Pops, Pops.

Listen, Mother is sending your lawyers and your doctors.

They're going to get you off on insanity.

Of course, you'll have to spend a long vacation in a nice, quiet sanitarium.

Oh, by the way, Pops, I have something to tell you.

I'm selling my shares in your business.

You can't do that!

Oh, sure I can.

I'm going into business on my own.

You see, what I'm going to do, I'm going to build this car wash gas station and

put it right next to the drive -in.

Oh, I've got a great architect to design it and a fantastic mechanic named Kong

to help me run it. And we're going to go into this partnership with the girls.

What?

You'd do that to me?

No, I would do that to me.

You see, Dad, one thing you never learned about in business, you've got to

to compromise.

If you do what's best for everybody else, you'll be doing what's best for

Pretty smart, huh?

I'll kill you with my bare hands.

Yeah, you bet.

Well, listen, got to go now. I got to get back to my friends.

But drop a line now and then. And when you know where you're going to be, I'll

send your horsey and a bag of slugs.

Okay, pops?

Okay. Bye.

Were you serious?

What you said?

Sure. If the girls are willing, I will pay the original price that my father

offered you to share your property and create a co -op.

Oh, you've got a deal. Yeah?

Me, a mechanic?

That's right. A partner.

Real respectable.

Would I have to shave?

You'll have to ask Danielle about that.

As you say, getting away was a big surprise.