Original subtitles

Hello, this is Jim.

Oh, hello, Jim.

It's so nice to finally hear your voice.

You're calling from a private number, so I didn't know who it was. I'm really

looking forward to our date tonight.

So am I.

Just calling to figure out what time to pick you up.

Oh, my God.

What?

What is... Quiet down.

Denise, I'm on the phone.

Who is Denise?

You whipped another woman while you're calling me? Oh, no, wait. I can explain.

I was just... You're obviously lying. You two -timing sleeve.

You know what? Forget it. Take off, Joe.

See who she's been texting.

Another date?

Can't wait for our date tonight.

Been looking forward to meeting you.

Just like the last three times, there won't be any date tonight.

Message deleted.

There it is. I've been looking for this everywhere.

I have a date tonight, and he's going to text me the details any minute.

A date, huh?

Mm -hmm.

Yeah. And this one is... Oh.

What's wrong?

Well, I should have the information by now, but he hasn't texted me, and our

date's in an hour, so...

It might not be happening.

I think I just got ghosted or whatever it is you kids are calling it these

Well, you know what?

If your plans do fall through, I'm always available to hang out.

You're just the sweetest couple a mother can ask for.

I'm just so excited about this date that I keep checking the tour every few

minutes.

I know I've had some bad luck recently, but I think that this date is the one

that's going to break my streak.

Even though he is running a little late.

Fingers crossed.

I'm here to pick up Ryan.

Ryan?

Sorry,

I think you might have the wrong address.

No, she... I checked it twice.

Oh, I think I see what's going on.

Ryan, she must not be interested.

What makes you say that?

Because clearly she gave you the wrong address.

Sorry, dude.

Well, you know, you'd better go.

Run along and nurse that broken heart. Bye.

Sure, I heard a knock.

I don't understand. I thought this was the one.

How did my dates show up? Is it something that I'm doing? Is it

I'm not doing?

What's wrong with me?

There's nothing wrong with you. It's them.

They're not good enough for you.

Nobody's good enough for you.

You deserve somebody that will do anything for you.

That will treat you like the queen that you are.

Where would I even find someone like that?

Well, maybe you already have.

Wait.

You... You can't be suggesting that.

Well, why not?

Well, for one thing...

I'm your stepmom.

Yeah, okay, I'm your stepson, but that just means that I know you better than

anyone else. And that can't be a bad thing.

I mean, that's true, but our age difference.

You're only 22.

Yeah, okay, I might be young, but that just means I have lots of damage.

Come on, Mom.

Besides...

I fucking wasn't.

I

needed

this. I needed this. All these canceled dates and it's so horny.

I can't believe how wet I am for you.

Your father would roll over in his grave.

Is it weird?

No. It's okay.

I'm going to put your top in bed.

Yes! Fuck my titties!

Yes!

Oh my god, oh my god.

I love you.

Fuckin' my titties.

Fuckin' the knockout.

Fuckin' the breastfeed on my fuckin' titties.

this for so long. Oh my God, yes.

Tell me everything. Why suck your cock?

It's so much better than I know.

You can see why your daddy married me.

Now he's gone and his only son is just going to have to take care of me.

Put your head here.

I'm going to ride your cat one more time.

Now just lay back and join me.

Lay back like what?

Open down your heart, God.

Yeah? Yeah.

You know, Wally, I want you to make baby milk

all over Mommy's titties.

Yeah? Yeah.

Cover me with your brothers and sisters.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh fuck yeah. Oh my god.

I guess my bad luck streak is officially broken.

Just needed a little help from my son.