Original subtitles

I don't know what this fucking thing is.

All I need is the sword.

Oh, that's the wrong room.

Fuck. Okay,

I'm just gonna go back.

to the outside.

Wow, so that's how you expand the inventory slides.

I cannot believe they actually let you do that, Tony.

Pretty graphic, actually.

Okay.

Now this game's getting interesting.

What else does she need from me?

I already got the amulet.

There's only one amulet.

I have the sword.

How's my favorite slip, son?

Is that the new game we got you?

Yeah, I don't know. One of you bought it. I don't know which one of you.

Yeah.

Are you winning?

You don't, I mean, there's not really winning or losing.

I just had to complete the quest, you know, until, I don't know.

Oh, okay.

I guess you can win.

Why are you in a forest?

There's like, well, you have to get to travel and I'm... Oh.

Why don't you travel too?

Is there a cave?

Yeah, I mean, there's a few caves. Well, that's cool. What's hidden in there?

I have to basically... Well, how do you find it?

Do you just run around in circles and then... Well, in the cave, there's...

I'm trying to find my inventory spot, all right? I have to find this girl. How

many diamonds do you have?

I have to find this girl.

Ooh. Okay.

Okay. And I have to hook up with her, basically.

You have her a man or a lady on here?

Hmm. I mean, yeah, I guess.

Can I watch for a bit?

Sure. Whatever.

Just, yeah, just please.

You know, I well I was gonna say I can start to make bread Bread quit

that I can start the next quit now Because I got out of the forest. Oh,

honey.

Okay.

I won't be distracting.

No worries.

Oh, wow.

This is going to take a little while.

Take your time, sweetie.

See, I got a new weapon now, but I have to be within range.

Can we use it?

Yeah, but I have to be within range because it only hurts on the tit. The

The tit.

It only hurts if the tit hit them.

I see.

Are you close enough now?

I'm pretty close.

He looked mean.

Yeah, gonna be pretty tough.

Just gotta make sure I have enough potions.

Oh, honey, watch out!

No!

Is it okay?

Is everything okay?

It's just the cutscene.

I can look?

Yeah, but I can't play.

It's just the cutscene hasn't even...

Hasn't even started yet.

Once this is over, then I'll get to fight him. And then I can go back and

my business with the elf lady.

Oh, there's the lady.

Yeah, the one I was telling you about earlier. I gotta go hook up with her

after... Oh, I guess I don't gotta fight him. I guess I just need to go back to

her.

Where's this lady at?

She was back at the forest, but I don't really know what to do.

Oh, I can help you. I don't know how you can help me with the quest called

Romancing the Elf Queen. What is it? I don't think that's your expertise.

Oh, are you going to show me your lady move?

I mean, it's not... I mean, I don't know.

I don't know. I guess I don't know what to do. I've kind of been stuck on this

part. Oh, sweetie, I can help you.

You're my stepmom. What are you...

I mean, what are you going to do to help?

Oh, honey, you've got someone to learn.

What do you mean?

What have I got to learn?

I mean, the game tells me everything.

Honey, I worry about you. You need a lady friend in the real world.

Okay, that's not your business either at all.

That's true.

Oh, come on. I can help you.

What are you going to do?

What are you going to do? How are you going to fix my elf problem in the game

and my lady problem in real life?

Because if we work on the real life, you can get your lady friend in your game,

too.

Honey, it's okay. It's completely normal.

Very natural.

I don't know if this is morally okay.

It might be natural, but... Like, I really... I

really don't want to get in trouble with my dad.

Honey, it's okay.

I won't tell him.

If you don't tell him, he'll never know.

But what if my dad does actually come?

He's working late tonight.

Don't worry about your father.

Just worry about me.

You'll be winning those girls over in no time.

How does that feel?

Like we could get in a lot of trouble.

I'm not saying anything.

Maybe this will help you find a girl.

Don't be joking.

Wow.

Fuck.

Do you think I'm okay with my face?

Oh my gosh, yes.

Holy shit.

Oh my gosh.

Is that what you like? Do you like that more in your top?

Oh my gosh.

Enjoy it, baby.

We need to find you a girl in real life.

Oh yeah.

Hmm.

Oh my god.

Are you ready for another one?

Amen.

having this much trouble in the game.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I guess I don't know.

I don't know how that's going to help me.

Oh, honey.

Why don't you show me your little lady friend on there?

Do you have a favorite? Show me your favorite lady friend.

I mean, I guess she's my favorite.

She looks just like me.

Honey, you're going to be just fine.