All language subtitles for Psych S03E04 The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable

Don't say a word.

Fergulous.

Shawn, I said no words.

Oh, I see how it works.

Two weeks ago, we're
playing Scrabble, it's not a word.

Now, suddenly, it is a word
because it's convenient for you.

Oh, buddy.

Dude, you've got some peat
moss jammed behind your ear.

It could be infested with mites.

Mites?

I lost a $200 shoe.

Your dad almost got a skull fracture.
You're the one who got us into this,

and absolutely nothing
happened to you.

Would you two stop it?

I've been on the other side
of this table a thousand times.

You tell them only
what they need to know.

What do we say about Uncle Jack?

He's not here, is he, Shawn?

Why don't we take
care of ourselves?

We didn't do anything wrong.
We didn't break any laws.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. What... What
did you do, Shawn?

Nothing.

It's just that laws
keep changing.

It's getting very challenging
to keep up with them all.

Did you know, for instance,

that it is now illegal to
give a perm to a possum?

What? HENRY: Shawn.

Did you or did you
not break any laws?

We impersonated priests.

What? What? We were professors.

We were priests, Shawn.

You gentlemen have
a lot of explaining to do.

You can bet your ass I'm
gonna get to the bottom of this.

Don't I get a phone
call or something?

No. Fine. How about
a text message?

I'll be quick. I just need
to respond "OMG, LOL."

Here's a question.

How do you make the face that's winking,
with the tongue coming out one side?

Mr. Spencer! Now,
by my estimation,

you may be in some
serious trouble here,

so I'm only gonna
ask you this once.

Where's the gold?

It's not quite as
simple as that.

Right, if we were to
really answer that question,

we'd have to go
back quite a while.

How long?

About 20 years.

As the rain thundered
down from the dark night sky,

and 30-foot waves
crashed over his ship,

the great pirate Bouchard

stood on his bow,

pointed at the California
coast and yelled,

"We shall take this
land as ours, men!"

Your dad's awesome.

I know.

I'm so glad my dad didn't come.

I mean, I don't even know what a manager
of debt consolidation does, anyways.

Except drink.

Rumor has it that Bouchard

was obsessed with
searching for Spanish gold.

They also say he
may have had syphilis

and went crazy searching for
something that never existed.

But I say

the gold did exist!

Okay, my dad has to go now.

Thanks, Dad. See you later. Bye.

What?

What the heck's going on here?

Officer, we're just in
the middle of a class.

Is there a problem
with something?

Yes, there is a problem.
That's not Shawn's dad.

Because I'm Shawn
Spencer's father.

You're not Shawn's dad?

Ah, well, you
know, technically...

Uh, technically, that
is my brother Jack,

who technically didn't tell
me he was coming to town

and obviously cooked
up this ruse with Shawn

to fool his new teacher.

What were you thinking?

I don't know. I just thought it
would be cooler if Uncle Jack spoke.

Look, class, I'm sorry
to break this to you, but...

He's not a real treasure hunter.

And this

is not real gold.

Kids, my big brother
Henry is absolutely right.

This is not real gold.

But it is real chocolate!

What does this have
to do with the gold?

Relax, Lassidophilus,
we're getting there.

Last night...

What can I say, the movie
didn't make any sense.

Of course it didn't
make any sense to you.

You came in 20 minutes
late, fell asleep for an hour,

then woke up and asked me
what happened. You always do this.

What can I say? They're making
the movie theaters too damn dark.

It makes me sleepy.

So, basically, I paid
$10 for you to take a nap.

Uh, basically, I paid.

Dad, someone's in the house.

Oh, my God! Let's call the
cops. We should call the cops.

You keep a stun
gun in the birdhouse?

What's under the
garden gnome, an M-80?

You want me to poke
you in the eyes on the roof?

We're calling the cops, right?

Why aren't we calling the cops?

Dad, wait!

Stop!

Uncle Jack!

I knew it was you as
soon as I saw the penny.

The kid!

Shawn, my boy!

And by the way,
that's a '59 penny.

It's the first year they used
the Lincoln Memorial on it.

I want you to keep it.

Thanks, man.

Jack?

Dude, a hose? Really?
What were you gonna do?

Give him a high colonic?

Shut up, Shawn.
No, no, no, no. I get it.

You bust in here,
you blind him in water,

and then you make your
move, baby! Come here, you!

Ah, boys. It seems like only
yesterday I was bringing you kids

to the track and we
were betting the ponies.

I was the only eight-year-old kid
who knew what a trifecta meant.

Uncle Jack, I haven't heard
from you since you sent that email

from Prince Albert's
boat in the Maldives.

Yeah, well, I had to sign a
confidentiality agreement there, guys.

I can't really
talk about it. Oh!

By the way, I got
presents for everybody.

Hey, hey, hey!

Got these when I was
excavating near Machu Picchu.

Dug them up myself.

It's been three years, Jack.
What are you doing here?

Besides breaking into my house.

Breaking in? You
gave me a key, Henry.

I didn't give you a key.

I don't give anyone
keys, not even Shawn.

Oh, that's not true. I actually
made a copy a while back.

It was when I was hooked on
Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! on Noggin.

I didn't have cable. Oh, I also stole
your toilet paper for about a year.

And a huge box of sporks.

I guess you are
wondering why I came back.

I want you to help me
find Bouchard's treasure.

Come on, not that again, Jack!

I hate to break it
to you, little brother,

but Bouchard's treasure
does not, has not,

and will not ever
exist. It's a pipe dream.

Don't listen to him, Uncle
Jack. He's a dream killer.

Yeah, I understand
his frustration.

All those years spent listening to me
drone on about the whole treasure thing,

without even a
semblance of proof.

I get it.

One thing confuses me, though.

If it is just a figment
of my imagination,

where did I get this?

I know, you know That
I'm not telling the truth

I know, you know They
just don't have any proof

Embrace the deception
Learn how to bend

Your worst inhibitions tend
to psych you out in the end

Why do I feel like
he can see us?

No, it's impossible. He
can't see or hear a thing.

That's just weird.

So, what? We're just gonna let
this guy listen in on everything?

It's out of our
hands, Detective.

Now just get in there and
get to the bottom of this.

You got it.

When are we gonna find out
the deal with the suit-guy in there?

Let's just get
back to the story.

I can't believe your Uncle Jack
actually had a treasure map.

I can't believe you actually
pretended your uncle was your dad.

I wanted Gus' dad to do it, but there was
a genealogy issue I just couldn't resolve.

What else can you tell us
about the Bouchard guy?

We could only remember bits and
pieces of the Bouchard myth, but

Jack filled us in on the rest.

November, 1818.

Bouchard sailed up and
down the California Coast,

searching desperately for
the mythical Spanish gold.

He ravaged and looted
the Mission at Monterey,

was repelled at San
Juan Capistrano,

and finally made land
here, in Santa Barbara,

where he did battle with a small
Spanish garrison and the Chumash Indians.

Yeah. I remember
reading about that.

They said he made off with
millions in Spanish gold coins

but his boat sunk off
the coast north of here.

He disappeared and years
later he showed up in Argentina.

Superior retention
of historic detail, Gus.

Bouchard was also fond of hiding clues
to the treasure's whereabouts in the maps.

I stumbled upon this one while
researching him in Argentina.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! First you
say you're in Machu Picchu in Peru,

and all of a sudden, now you're
in Argentina, so which one is it?

Dad, he's not a suspect.

Oh, he's suspect all right.

Forget him. Forget him, okay?

My big brother's always been just a little
cynical. And that's what I love about him.

You still haven't
answered my question.

So, what about it, boys?
Wanna be treasure hunters?

Are you kidding me? That's like
asking me if I want my own jet pack.

Or if I've ever wanted
to be a koala bear.

Okay, I think he means yes.
You can count him in. And me too.

Superb.

Mmm.

You know, I've been reading a
lot about that detective stuff you do,

and it seems to me that having
a psychic might be a real asset.

Who knew I had
one in my own family?

Well, Uncle Jack, I...

I don't know. I'm not really...

I wouldn't necessarily
say psychic.

Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Stop that right now.

Don't you do that to
yourself, young man.

Do not sell yourself short.

Do not feel embarrassed, just
because you're a little different.

Didn't I always tell you,
you'd be great, didn't I?

Yeah, you did.

Okay, now here's the plan.

Everything we
find, we split 50-50...

That's after we donate
most of it to a museum, right?

We are so gonna do that, Gus.

Right. You and I
are really, up here,

in sync. Okay.

So the first thing
we need to do is...

Get matching fedoras?

Get matching fedoras? You're the
one who wanted the fedoras, not me.

Stop changing the
story. My mistake.

He wanted the yellow
gauchos. I said no to that.

Oh, would you please put me in
a separate room from these idiots?

I will tell you everything.

Just continue.

Jack had told us to meet him
at the front steps of the mission,

because that was the
first step on the map.

Gus and I could barely
contain our excitement.

I contained mine
a little better.

Okay. Just follow my
lead. Say yes to everything.

Oh, welcome. Welcome.
I'm Karen Raven,

head of the Santa
Barbara Historical Society.

We are delighted to have such a distinguished
professor as yourself visiting us.

I am Abner Espinoza.

These are my compatriots, Ernesto
Agapito Garces con y a de Abelar,

and Juan Priestly.

Oh, now I see where you got the
priest thing. What does that mean?

Nothing. Nothing.

Well, welcome.
Please, come this way.

Now, as you know, most of our prized collection
pieces are kept away from the public.

But, well, we're happy to open
our doors for visiting dignitaries,

such as yourselves.

Yes. Yes.

Okay, then. Um...

Take as much time as you need.

And Bill, here, will
be waiting just outside.

All right, boys. We've got about 10
minutes before the real Espinoza shows up.

There's a real Espinoza?

Well, technically speaking,
we used to be partners.

He's a great guy, but
we had a little falling out

when I had a small
dalliance with his wife.

And his sister.

And his housekeeper, Debbie.

Uncle Jack, what's
really going on here?

My research has told
me that there are clues

about the treasure's whereabouts
hidden somewhere in this room.

And it all has to do
with the number 152.

Why don't we just use the map?

Well, technically, there's, uh,

something I haven't told
you about the whole map.

Uncle Jack! This is a
pretty big thing to leave out.

Yeah, I know. I know.
I know. It's a long story.

A one-legged woman,
a bottle of Cutty Sark...

The point is that the missing part of
the map is the first step of the hunt.

Now, come on, kid. Use that
psychic gift you got. Come on.

Oh, boy! I'm seeing letters,

swarming. They're zinging!

Oh, they're forming words!

They're forming
words! "Couleur."

Couleur. Couleur.

Couleur?

What does that mean?

French... Color... Paint!

Painting. That's it! Come
on, let's go, hurry up!

More! There's
paintings over there.

Wait, wait, wait!
Go back! Go back!

Hello, Bouchard.

Let me see the map.

Where did you hide that
clue, you old syphilitic sea dog?

I know where the map starts.

And I know where
the first clue is.

Wait. The map was actually real?

Oh, yeah. We
couldn't believe it.

The lighthouse
was the first clue.

What happened from there?

We didn't make it to the
second clue. Why not?

Because we weren't the only
ones who found the lighthouse.

All right, Spencer, tell the
Chief what you just told us.

Okay, Chief. Here goes.

We're so hungry.

I can't get the burrito place
on Coda Street out of my mind.

They're open late. Gus,
children's burrito, no sauce,

Dad, I know you're a
fan of the carne asada.

All right, Mr. Spencer,
let me be frank.

As long as I can be Dean
and Gus can be Sammy.

Why do I have to be Sammy?

Fine. He's Sammy. That
makes you Joey Bishop.

Is that what you really want?
You wanna be Joey Bishop?

Shawn? I'm sorry, Jules.

How often does someone set
you up with "Let me be Frank"?

Shawn!

Don't forget that you
are in a lot of trouble here.

And I am probably the only
person in this room who cares

to see you get out of it.
Now, it's 2:30 in the morning,

we've been here for hours,
enough with the jokes,

stop delaying, and tell
us what we wanna hear.

Oh, my God. That was so hot.

Spencer, tell the
Chief what you told us

about the guys who chased you
away from the lighthouse with the guns.

Not just chasing us. They
found us, hiding in a cabin.

Who were they?

Jack's partners.

Because the one thing that you
could count on with my brother Jackie,

he always had partners.

Jack! What the
hell are you doing?

Mark, calm down, will you?

It's all part of the plan.

Wait a second. You
guys know each other?

Oh, yeah.

We were partners.

I thought we were partners.

Well, technically,
you're all my partners.

Well, I don't know where you
guys went to partner college

but I'm pretty sure you're not
supposed to shoot at your partners.

Yeah? Should partners do this?

Maybe we shouldn't use
the word "partners" anymore.

It seems to make him mad.

Mark.

Kitten, listen,

this is my nephew Shawn, okay?

He's psychic.

For real. Works for
the cops sometimes.

Fully legitimate, fully.

I only brought him around
to help with the hunt.

And I was just gonna pay him

a small finder's fee. That's it.

What's finder's fee?
Is that like 50%?

Not even close.

No. Not buying it.

You were gonna sell us out.

Oh! Psychic things are
happening to me! Oh!

Running down my legs! Oh, oh!

Oh. Oh.

Welcome. Welcome.
I'm Karen Raven,

head of the Santa
Barbara Historical Society.

You don't worry
about the pregnancy.

Your girlfriend's
gonna be just fine.

Huh? Huh? Huh?
What'd I tell you?

Now, why don't
you just let us go?

We'll all find the treasure.

We'll be stinking, filthy rich

and live fabulous lives!

No.

Give us the map.

We don't have the map.

Really? That's too bad.

Okay! It's in the backpack.

Thanks.

What are you...
What... Wait, just wait.

Wait.

It's in the side pouch.

Hey, Gus, should we tell Mark

that there's a tear in the map?

Son of a bitch, Jack!

Hold it!

So you just gave them the
map and told them everything?

No, not everything.

Okay, everything.

So, they found the treasure?

Not exactly.

Okay, I may have psychically
led them down the wrong path.

The spirit world is just
one of life's little mysteries.

Like why the Oxygen
Network airs Goodfellas,

or why fools fall in love.

Ow!

Here you go, Mr. Guster.

This is all they had in
lost and found in your size.

An Ugg boot? I can't
wear an Ugg boot with...

It'll be dope with my one Puma.

Now, Mr. Spencer.

Yes.

Oh, I meant the older...

Sorry, not old, less...

Handsome. Less hair?

Less friends on Facebook?

Less nose. Oh!

Henry.

Did you fill out a burglary
report in your house yesterday?

I did.

But nothing was taken.

Oh. And yet, why do I feel this somehow
plays into this whole mess, doesn't it?

I was the one who
picked them up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. How did
your dad know where to find you

if that Mark guy took
all your cell phones?

That is a good question.

I have to pee.

No. No way, Shawn.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Hold it like a man.

I'll get a urinary
tract infection.

Like a man. You know what?

You could link your legs underneath
your chairs and form a wheel

and roll to the bathroom.

I don't even wanna project
how that's gonna happen.

I'm not rolling anywhere.

I don't know why I
listened to either one of you.

No one is gonna find us. We're
probably gonna die out here.

Gus? What?

What is that on your leg?

Nothing.

Dude, you are strapped
with another cell phone?

Well, just call Henry. Come on!

No, no, no. We're not calling
anyone. That is my work phone.

For work. This is work.

My boss is watching
everything I do, Shawn.

Plus, you already
used up half my minutes

waiting on hold
for concert tickets.

That was Tony, Toni, Tone,
and Wet Wet Wet playing together!

You know I can't resist
that. The symmetry alone...

All right, Gus, this is
our only choice, man.

Fine.

Shawn, reach down and get it.

Me? I'm not gonna reach
down and get it. You get it.

With what hand?

Fine. I'll do it.

Hold still.

Stop it!

You're wobbling! Hold on, now!

Stop flexing.

Ow!

Hold it. Okay, it's ringing.

Fu's Palace. Want
to place order?

You must've dialed
the wrong number.

Hi! We're stuck out in a cabin on
Tunnel Road, can you send help?

For pick-up or delivery?

This is Jack Spencer,

and I'm willing to offer you a
50-50 split on pirate treasure!

Hang up, Shawn.

Hold on. While he's on the
line, you guys want anything?

Will you dial it again? And this
time try to dial the right number.

Look, man, I'm dialing with a
ten-year old Erasermate in my mouth.

It's not an exact science.

You've reached Henry Spencer.
Leave your name and number,

but speak slowly because
people talk too fast

in these things and I
can never understand it.

Hey, Dad. What's going on?

Uh, I got good news.

Great news!

The electric wrench
you've been wanting,

is in stock at Home Depot.

Uh, what else? I know
there was something else!

Oh! I know. If
you're not too busy,

Gus, Jack and I
are tied up in a cabin

about 100 yards off Tunnel Road,

right by where we had the pulled
pork sandwiches that one time.

Shawn?

Spencer, are you gonna
answer my question or not?

How did your dad
know where to find you?

With some people I can communicate
through psychic wavelengths.

My father is one of them.

Val Kilmer is another.

Here's something I don't understand.
Jack's partner wanted the map, right?

So, why would they
trash your dad's house?

They'd know Jack wouldn't
let the map out of his sight.

But Mark and his men, they
weren't looking for a map.

So, what were they looking for?

You know you're my boy, Shawn.

Why did you have to go
and give Mark the map?

Because I don't need it.

Uncle Jack, trust me.

I can recreate the map
psychically in my head.

Hey! Hey.

Spare me, kid, okay?

You can't snow the snowman.

We were so close.

Stop!

Oh! I feel jittery.

It starts with beans!

Gus likes it in the morning.

Now, he has gas!

Something having
to do with coffee?

Yes! Coffee!

Coffee, coffee,
coffee, coffee table!

Coffee table!

Mark and his goons weren't
looking for the map, were they?

No, no.

They were looking for something
else. A different piece of the puzzle.

Something you didn't want
connected to the map at all.

Oh!

That is downright scary.

Maybe you really
do have a gift, kid.

My bad for doubting it.

You know, this key is also from
Bouchard's stuff I found in Argentina.

It was useless without that map.

But if Shawn can
actually recreate that map,

that plus this key means
we are back on track!

Guys, I gotta hit the head.

But when I come back,

we are finding us a treasure.

Hope he bought that.

With Jack, you never know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But if that key is real...

Shawn, come on.
Take a look around.

Haven't you had
enough? These guys...

They've destroyed
my living room.

Mark and his goons aren't gonna
stop! We gotta get back out there!

Dad! No! No.

Shawn, no! Just come with us!

Come with us! Why
do you need me?

It's not that we need
you. We want you.

Plus, we need you.

We need your truck, because
my car is still at the lighthouse

and Mark has the key.

There you go,
thank you very much.

Sorry, count me out.

Shocker!

Okay, guys, ready?

Good. All we gotta
do now is borrow a car.

Now, technically,

the term is
hot-wiring. However...

I'm in. But I drive,

I'm the one who decides if
and when we go to the police.

I don't want any more
surprises. Do you understand?

Yes, Dad!

Big bro! I knew
you'd come around.

Okay, psychic,
what's the next step?

Shawn?

The key will guide us now.

I love this!

50-50 split between
me and you guys!

No more surprises, right, Jack?

Of course.

Tell me this, Shawn. How
are we supposed to find clues

from a bell tower that hasn't
been around for over 100 years?

The Presidio was huge. It
would've taken up several blocks.

So, what should we do now?

There's only one thing
we can do. Go back in time.

The bell tower's calling me!

Shawn! Come on!

Shawn, wait up!

Shawn!

This is it.

This is where the
bell tower stood!

Well, what do we do now?

Let's buy some mufflers.

He doesn't even own a car.

I bet you, I end up
paying for these.

You all right?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll survive.

What're we doing up here, Shawn?

I'm not sure yet.

But that's part
of the fun, isn't it?

We are good to go. The manager said
we can take as much time as we need.

Alvin. Good guy.
Filipino. He loved me.

And Jack offered him
50% of the treasure.

I also gave him an '82 penny. First
year they used zinc instead of copper.

Okay. What is the deal with
you and all these pennies?

Yeah, I don't get that either.

So, Jack collects them and then
leaves them places? What's that about?

Jack was always
interested in history.

Collecting pennies was
his way of being a part of it.

But leaving the pennies was
his own personal philosophy.

See, Uncle Jack always said...

I leave the penny,
because it's good luck.

And Lord knows, the world
could use some more good luck.

Are you for real?

All right, Shawn, what're
we doing up here?

You think that when
Bouchard captured the fort,

he stood up here, on the bell tower,
gazing out into the big blue ocean,

looking for a place
to hide the treasure?

If I were a French pirate, with a bad
temper and at least one venereal disease,

where would I be looking?

That's it.

That's it, right there!
We're so close. Let's go!

Hey!

How did he find us?

He's got the map. He must've
figured it out. Come on! Let's go!

Shawn! Shawn!

I can't lose my Puma, Shawn!

I got it!

This is it!

This is the bluff from the map!

Uncle Jack!

I know this probably isn't the
right time to say this, but dude!

I think we're gonna get
to ride in a helicopter.

You're obligated to
let me speak to them.

I'm not obligated to
make you do anything.

Chief, perhaps you should
see this one more time.

No, I don't need to see
the letter one more time.

Jules. Lassy, what's
going on out there?

What's the deal with that guy? He didn't
say a word to us when he brought us in.

His name is Andres Candalaria.

He works for the
Spanish government.

Apparently, he's part of some inter-governmental
task force on stolen antiquities.

Hello, Mr. Spencer.

I believe you know
why you're here.

And I believe you know
I know why I'm here.

Now, why am I here?

To help us find the treasure that
rightly belongs to my government.

But we didn't find anything. Sí.

And my men have been searching the
bluffs all night, as well, with no luck.

That's because you
stopped us one step short.

Your treasure is
not in the bluffs, che.

The spirits are
guiding my man paw!

It's like... it's like that movie,
Idle Hands. Except with no nudity,

which means, I must be
completely unwatchable right now.

Do either of these words
mean anything to anyone?

It could be the clue
we're looking for.

"Cueva" is Spanish for cave.

"Couleur" could be French.
I think it means paint.

I spent a semester in Paris.

Got salmonella poisoning and
lost 20 pounds. Best diet ever!

Painted caves! That's it.

Bouchard was French, but he was
fascinated with the Chumash Indians.

Whoa, whoa! Chumash Indians.

Well, they used to paint
caves all over the area.

We used to roust punks in
there from drinking all the time.

"Roust punks"?

Thank you, Jack Lord.

We will now lead you to
the treasure. I know the cave.

Very well. Let's go.

Stop. You are not doing this.

The only reason I brought
these men here, in the first place,

was because Spencer
would not talk with us

unless he was in the station.

Okay. Look, I said we would cooperate with
you, but they are employees of the SBPD,

and they're not going
anywhere without my detectives.

Chief, we have been through this, no?
This is from your Treasury Department,

giving me full power
to call the shots.

Now, I thank you for your help,

but it will no longer be needed.

Sorry.

I can't believe we're actually
digging for buried treasure.

I know, dude.

And you're getting your pants
totally dirty and you don't even care.

I'm so proud of you.

Keep digging!

"HB." That could be for
Hippolyte de Bouchard!

Or Harry Belafonte.

No. No, that doesn't
make any sense.

Just get it out.

Oh my God. It's real.

Sí.

Well done.

You should know the Spanish government
owes you a great debt of gratitude.

Now, could I please
have the coins?

Before we do that,

I should tell you, I know three
things that you probably don't know.

Uno,

the secret of NIM and the secret
of my success? Same secret.

Dos, I know that you don't
work for the Spanish government.

And tres, these caves
are actually quite slippery.

What are you doing?
Bag! Bag! Bag! Bag! Bag!

What is going on? Why are we
running? Why did we leave the caves?

Hey!

Shawn! Shawn!

What happened to
your other Puma?

You gotta be kidding
me! I lost another shoe?

Let's go.

This way!

Jack! Jack!

Yes!

Hey, guys. I told
you I'd come back.

I've been tracking you
the whole time. You, uh,

have the treasure? This is it.

I always believed in you, kid. I
always knew you were special.

Ah, no, no, no, no, no. You can't
come in here. We gotta split up for safety.

Listen, they're not gonna hurt
you if you don't have the gold.

Believe me. I know what
I'm talking about. What?

Come on! Let's have it.

Remember the place on Foothill,

where I used to take you when you
were a kid, get you burgers and shakes?

Yeah, it's Red
Robin. It's still there.

That's the one. Meet
you there in an hour.

I'll be there.

Yee-haw!

Damn it! You gave
him the gold, didn't you?

Hey! That's my gold.

Who the hell are you?

If there were doves flying around,
we'd be in a John Woo movie.

Son of a bitch. I'm
going to kill Jack.

Oh, you know Jack?
He was my partner.

He was my partner!

Uh, technically,

Iron Giant guy, he
was all of our partners.

And the guy who answers
the phone at Fu's Palace.

And the guy at the muffler shop.

Good catch, Gus.

Look, fellas, we're just
gonna roll on out, if that's cool.

Let you settle
your business here.

Not so fast.

Why don't we just take the nephew
and ransom his ass for the gold?

We have no other choice.

No, no, no, no!

You always have a choice.
You could ransom Gus' ass.

You could swirl it up.

You could ransom half
my ass and half his ass.

Drop it!

Hands in the air!

Shawn, you know I don't curse very
often. So when I do, you know I mean it.

What the hell just happened?

I thought you weren't
a big fan of the wrap up.

All right, I'll give it to you.

So, back at station, I realize
Andres' accent isn't Spanish,

it's Argentinean.

And that's where Uncle
Jack just got back from,

so I figure he's one
of Jack's partners.

How did you know that?

He worked in that winery
in Argentina for a year.

I kept the postcards.

You did?

I use them as beer coasters.

Okay, Shawn, but...

So that's why I
called Andres "che,"

to see if he'd react.

Which he did.
Because in Argentina,

"che" is slang for
"buddy" or "pal."

Sort of like I call you "black star" or
"home skillet" or "big baby Burton."

Don't ever call
me "home skillet."

Right. But why didn't
you tell anybody?

I did.

She knew just
what to do with it.

Sorry, Jules.

Doesn't matter what happened.

The important thing is you guys
are safe and nobody got hurt.

Now, let's get out of here. I'm
too old to be staying up all night.

Can't believe I
lost my other shoe.

Dude, I will buy
you another pair.

Just tell me you didn't really
drop 200 bones on sneakers.

No, Shawn. I was making a point.

How much were they, really?

80 bucks.

And I had $32 left on
my Foot Locker gift card.

So, what am I looking
at, like 30 bucks?

48.

I'm in for half. We'll get some
jerk chicken on the way home.

Fine.

Hey.

Hey.

Strawberry, huh?

Oh, you gotta taste it.

I'd still go vanilla. It's good.

Are you kidding me? That is
the best shake on the planet.

One part ice-cream,

two parts awesome!

It's been a long time since
you called me for a ride.

Yeah, well, Gus got tired of waiting
for someone who wasn't gonna show.

All right, look, Shawn. Here's
the thing about your Uncle Jack.

He'll always come back.

You're not the first to get duped.
You certainly won't be the last.

Welcome to the club, kid.

I guess I probably
owe you an apology.

I can see now where Uncle Jack
might not have been the best role model.

Yeah. Maybe not.

Why didn't you say
anything when I was a kid?

Because I always
wanted you to have the...

The "fun uncle" in your life.

I was only hard on you because I
didn't want your life to turn out like

the "fun uncle."

Well, it didn't.

Not totally.

Here you go. Thanks.

You know that penny thing?

Your grandpa taught me that,

and then I taught it to
Jack when we were kids.

He just took it to
another whole level.

Yeah, he, uh...

He seems to do that a lot.

I still can't believe that
he got away with the gold.

You gotta think that someday

all this stuff is gonna
catch up with him, huh?

Yeah.

And that day
might just be today.

Does Gus know about this?

Oh, yeah. He's
got the rest of it.

Don't worry. We're
donating it to the museum.

All of it? Ish.

I saw Jack following us.

I knew he was gonna
show up in the car.

I made the switch when we
were running through the forest.

So what does Jack have?

Well done, Shawnie.

Well done. Well done.

In between the lines
there's a lot of obscurity

I'm not inclined to
resign to maturity

If it's all right then
you're all wrong

But why bounce around
to the same damn song?

You'd rather run
when you can't crawl

I know, you know That
I'm not telling the truth

I know, you know They
just don't have any proof

Embrace the deception
Learn how to bend

Your worst inhibitions tend
to psych you out in the end

I know, you know

I know, you know