Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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Bloody hell, I'll smother you with a pillow!

CLASS REUNION. THE BOYS ARE BACK!

Kriste!

Which line should I assign your punching bag to?

Line 14!

But line 14 says, 'veterinary clinic and fuel'.

You think I remember your Excel files by heart?

You're yawning.

Lacking sleep?

What about me yawning?

Your god damn snoring kept me awake all night long.

I'm fed up with it, from tomorrow on you sleep in the garage!

In the garage?

But, honey, I peel carrots in the basement at work all day long.

You promised this was temporary till we attract

more visitors with that yours...

Don't dare mentioning 'that yours'!

You'll sit in the basement until you're done

with fishing and slipping off home!

NOTICE REGARDING CLASS REUNION!

Hi, Linas! Why don't you respond to emails?

Why this guilty look? Who emailed you?

Wait.

Class reunion. Invitation.

It's been 20 years since graduation so you are invited to join the old army

and have a great time in the company of your old classmates!

You've been each randomly assigned a task.

For you, Linas, is to deliver a nostalgic speech to everyone attending.

A speech?

C'mon, what speech can you make?

Which one are you here?

What a cute boy.

If you go you'll work double, I'm not doing the fucking work alone.

Rychka might help you... Rychka, again?

Richardas represents our Smidra's dream.

He works with people, no time wasted in the basement, where you work!

The discussion is over!

Kids, let's go to the kindergarten, I need to make it to work!

Life laws for women: MEN PSYCHOLOGY IS OUT

IN THE OPEN TOMAS VERBA - successful life coach.

Dear ladies, we've come up to a very important law - materialisation.

Thoughts materialise, don't they?

Your dreams materialise, and you can have EVERYTHING!

All you need is to set your inner force and passion free - and have it all.

Close our eyes.

Listen to the sound of your soul.

Strip yourselves off.

Bare your being, let your inner flower bloom.

Erupt like a volcano!

And then he, the real MAN, will transcend!

Then, girls, as they say, take him and use him wisely.

Yes?

Tell me, how exactly this man will transcend?

Cause he's still invisible for us.

My darling, everything is clear and simple here.

Just that we're running out of time, We'll discuss it in our next lecture.

Thank you, refer me to your co-sisters,

follow me on Facebook, tag your friends,

and only Tomas Verba will reveal the true men's logic to you.

Understand? Life in Lithuania is unbearable!

Food prices go up, and so is water, and the heating season...

GEDIMINAS CALLING

Hi Linas! Can you hear me?

I can't see you well. What dump are you in?

What dump? I'm in my usual place.

I want to show you

the paradise we live in!

Stop picking on me with that Bali of yours.

Any idea of how long I've been humping without a vacation?

Hens, roosters around, imagine, they call it SPA centre 'SUPER FOOD'

Hope we'll meet soon, right?

Are you going to that nonsense reunion?

Obviously, yes.

You pick me up from the airport and we're off.

What about Dovile? You're on honey moon. Is she OK with that?

Dovile?

She's fine.

Actually, no time to discuss it with her, but I'll work it out.

Shame, we fly and go the same weekend, but it's OK.

I'm not going.

Love and kisses, I'm gotta go!

Wait!

...have you been to Palanga this year? Can you afford such a luxury?

Linas, have you peeled the carrots, or what?

Huh?

Bring them up!

Aha

Coming up!

KOTRYNA: 'I WON'T WAIT. OFF TO BED NOW.

WAKE ME UP, IF YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING ;)

Guess who?

Simona?

You were brilliant, as always.

That's nice, thanks.

It's real nice to hear good feedback.

Are you alright there?

When are WE doing this?

Am I interrupting you? Relax, the more, the better.

I don't get it.

Girls, that's a damn good offer, but I must say no.

I've got seminars, work, stuff.

My dog is in heat.

Next time.

What about you and me?

Or the two of us?

We'll break your nasal septum,

then cauter your palate with electricity and laser,

and finish off with nitrogen.

Provided, it all goes well.

If not, we'll take more serious measures. Open your mouth.

Wider, wider!

We'll perform the tongue root surgery,

draw up the hyoid bone, then fix your jaw against nasopharynx.

Minor fix, and your snoring is gone.

I see you love your wife very much. She'll say a big thank you.

Sure enough.

It was she who broke my septum in the first place

Top it!

I have a slot for your surgery in 3 weeks.

Doctor, what am I to do until then?

My wife kicks me out to sleep in the garage.

I'll prescribe you a spray, no worries!

What about an antidepressant or tranquiliser?

That's not necessary.

Hush! Don't give me away.

Hey!

I asked you to wake me up once you're back!

Where are you off to so early?

What?

I'm off for breakfast.

?here's nothing at home, we won't cook. What do you think?

You're so sweet.

Yes, I am.

I'll be quick.

Tomas!

Just not from McDonald's, OK? Sure!

Good morning, what can I get for you?

Hi! Two muffins, please, one to eat here, and one for takeaway. Thanks.

What about Vycka?

I haven't seen him since the seminar. Is he coming to the reunion or not?

No clue. I haven't talked to him lately, but he's

in shit - his wife's left him, haven't you heard?

Oh, I'm ASS-essing there are 2 asses here.

When we went fishing, he was considering a divorce.

When he got back, she dumped him.

What happened?

The relationship started falling apart, they became more distant,

then Vycka got addicted to porn.

Got addicted so much, he couldn't help himself.

So they went to see a therapist, Artūras.

This is how our life goes.

He is always on the phone,

no more spiritual ties.

'Spiritual ties'.

Always the same routine.

'Routine'.

Vycka tried to stay cool, tried hard,

but one day she stated: 'You know, I'm leaving'.

Where are you leaving?

To Artūras.

What?

To that therapist?

You know how old he is? 27!

Bloody trainee.

There you go.

20 years of joint life up the ass.

Up one's tattooed ass.

Vycka got so depressed about this incident,

he sits at home and worries about all men under 30.

And you know what? He got this stupid tattoo.

What kind of tattoo?

An owl.

Why owl? It's wisdom.

And now he swipes Tinder. In a hope to hook up on someone, but...

No 'buts!' That's why you need this reunion and hook someone there.

Here you go. Anything else?

No, thanks. Can you please count? Sure: 1, 2, 3,

4, 5 - it's an old joke, c'mon!

Can I have a bill please?

3,90. Would you like anything?

Would you mind, Birute,

leaning down - there's something placed there,

on the bottom shelf... Could you get me that?

Those are minions and ponies.

Are you up for a game? Very much so!

I can ask the guy to show it closer! Edgar!

No worries, maybe next time.

Next!

Hey, dreamboats, clear away the plates, or is this your home?

Wash them! OK, we're kidding, go now!

What are you nagging about? I'm not, I just like order.

You sound like a grampa.

We go to the reunion, have a party and blow the cobwebs.

Blow the cobwebs in the reunion?

What will I tell them?

That I have a nose surgery because of my wife's whim?

That I drink buckthorn bark decoction with asparagus every day?!

That I sit in my own business's basement and polish carrot?

Carrots! I peel carrots.

Linas, you polish your carrot in your basement - isn't that the answer?

You and Malinauskas - you both need to get loose at this reunion!

Here's what we do now: go to the airport and pick up Gedutis,

then to the club and pick up girls.

When you walk into the reunion the next day - you're a different person!

The old crushes will be there, perhaps levute.

Your speech will knock socks off everyone! You'll see.

Decided!

Pack your stuff, we are off for the meeting.

This is for Kotryna, I promised.

Clean your rubbish.

'Clean your rubbish'

Daddy, look.

Very nice! Flamingo. Did you show it to mom? Go ahead!

Have you walked the dog?

I have!

Are the carrots done for the weekend? Done! In the freezer!

Asparagus?! Sliced, next to the carrots!

Got hemp seed?

What's that?

I knew it! You're going nowhere!

Daddy, are you running away from us?

Again? No, I just...

Do I need to resort to punishments? Do I need it, Linas?!

Are you insane?

Linas! You're insane.

Do you have the dog's photos, or shall I send them to you?

Perhaps you need to impress your classmates

Balu, let's go!

Hoo hoo! How are youuu...

Well, misfortune magnets, ready to go?

Are you ready for? mortuary? Very funny.

Expect hooking up girls with this catafalque? This is a great car!

Accommodates everything: a scooter, a wife, all the carrots, the kids

and a couple of therapists!

A good car indeed, can also fit a couple of tanks of extracted fat

and another one for boob implants.

Are you both going or not? If you don't stop,

I kick out your stuff and go alone!

Don't worry, everything's fine. Always look on the bright side.

As I tell my lady clients - the car is not the only form of happiness.

The time will come...

Cabriolet, Violeta (SINGING), let's go!

Careful with this old barge. Don't break my guitar!

Sorry.

What's rattling in the back?

Helium with balloons! - What?

I've got a pile of balloons to inflate. I won't do it by mouth, will I?

I'll use my mouth for singing. Ask what task has Linas got?

This showman has got a speech to give!

I'm so glad it's not me.

Won't have to make a fool out of myself in front of everyone

to be laughed at for another 20 years.

I appreciate your support, friends.

Wherever you are, I'll be there with you...

And you beach...

And you bitch, old bitch...

Not you. The teacher is a bitch.

The teacher's a bitch. The beach.

Linelis, take a shot of helium to get brave!

I'll provide you with so much helium, you'll get brave immediately!

Stop, stop! It's got asparagus nutrition

I'll bum his ass hole with this!

You'll be fine! Before my first seminar I was real nervous,

but when I got to see those ripe pairs of eyes staring at you...

What is Gedas going to do?

Animation, perhaps he's preparing some games.

I hope, strip poker.

What's that?

Put it back.

Do you use it on your way to work?

No, this is the happy apparatus for single people.

Don't even start. I've got a lot of hair in my nose.

This is what they call 'the old lady's dream'.

Ouch!

Told you, Linas! Don't shove it up your nose

Do you know if Jurga's coming?

I don't know. We stopped contacting.

Completely. She dumped me so she might as well not come.

What about your son?

This is the biggest problem.

You get to see the kid once a week.

Why are we discussing it?

Especially with you, who's got no kids or commitments, and

may shoot targets left and right whenever he pleases.

He keeps firing but all his shots are a miss.

He either shoots too far or too close, or he aims at the wrong target!

Who told you this nonsense? I heard it on the grapevine.

Perhaps too much wine. Tomas - the Zero Nuts - told me.

An old man - zero nuts in a can - told me.

Look at this carrot polisher and Mr Silicon!

Calm down!

Let me check if there's any gunpowder left in these!

It's not me!

Make a move - don't you need a woman?

Hello.

Where are you going?

Asshole, remember rutting deers and make a sound to seduce your woman.

What's so funny?

You're such a looser. Has she left?

Keep going! I picked up girls at school with ice-cream - watch and learn.

The shadow master comes,

He will make us sleep,

And won't let us know

What the souls do at night.

What's up?

How about the evening, you're so hot.

The ice cream's so cool. Some refreshment? Will you lick it?

Thank you. - And your...

The ice cream's hasn't changed, but the girls are different now.

You're so hot! - Beeeeeeh!

Open the window, fucker!

Why the fuck are you parking here?

Picking up bitches? Perhaps you want black eye?

We actually do want to pick up ladies, to be honest.

Are you fucking dumb?

You are still wet behind the ears!

3 perverts with hard-ons in a shitty crock!

Get the hell out of here before you recognise your faces!

What are you staring at?

What a gallant man.

Get here you hoarse cock! Who won't recognize his face now, huh?

What are you doing?

Who do they think they are, hugging our wives!

What are you doing? Fuck!

You need to talk to the man in his words, from heart to heart.

Let me give you a kiss, asshole.

Dickhead.

Here they are.

WELCOME BACK, GEDIMINAS IT'S OKAY THAT YOU'RE GAY!

Hello, hello, welcome back, Gedukas.

The banner's not about me.

Hello, the gay boy.

Told you!

So tanned.

What a nice surprise! Why didn't you warn me?

I'm quite surprised myself.

Shall we go?

How are you getting home? Anyone's coming to pick you up?

Beg your pardon?

Class reunion. I never got a chance to tell you.

Are you going right NOW?

I'll make it up for you.

Let's do this!!!

Yep, off we go.

Jankunas Stasys.

I'm sorry, can I have your autograph, please?

Sure.

Oh my God, it's Jankunas!!!

Where should I sign? On my belly! Don't be gentle!

Let's make a selfie too!

Give the phone to him -

he's got the longest arms!

Perfect! Thank you! I'm your biggest fan!

Paulius!

Green White, Green White - yeah, yeah!

I don't get it - is this a car?

Will you stop it for once - this IS my car!!

It started so well: balloons, the banner, Jankunas autograph, but this??

Close the door. Is it not automatic?

Bali vibe's in me! Bali vibe's in me Woohoo!

You're so good-looking

Malinauskas! Well done, on this car one can ride upright.

Just cut the crap, will you?

We had a marvellous pool, palm trees as tall as 5 metres, man!

Let's go to the hotel, take a shower.

Good luck! See you.

Man, she looks hot.

Here you go. - Thank you.

I've been in your seminar recently. Seriously?

I was wondering if I've seen you before.

If you want private sessions, you know where to find me!

I can also do things. I could enlarge your breasts.

Or reduce them. I could shape them better.

Hoo hoo - how are you.

Nice tattoo. What's the plan?

First, the night club for some moves, and for now...

For now, boys - straight to the gym!

Our four-headed dragon needs to get free!

We've got to warm up before the evening shake!

I'm in!

I love this physical education so much.

The one in pink is mine.

Is this Kotryna? No, Simona.

Another one? The same one.

I wonder why the soul is so restless?

With no kids and free evenings, not the soul but another organ is restless.

I'm off for some water.

What's wrong with him?

Upset about kids? What's so upsetting about kids?

We've been considering vasectomy. There you go!

What's that? Spiritual practice?

Gedutis, vasectomy is this: (shows)

Yes, it is.

Why did you decide it?

Kriste is not so young anymore, and I can't handle it all:

business, her, and children on top.

I've done my part - 2 kids now, a standard.

Why are you chirping to the one in pink, huh?

I booked her first - if a friend books a girl, others stay away!

Chirp to another one - the dark one, or the other dark one.

In general, you've just got married.

Calm down!

Old man, I understand it's hard for you, but learn to let go!

I did this in Bali, it works perfectly. Lay down and close your eyes.

Sure, I'll close my eyes so you can seduce all the remaining sexy chicks?

So called friends.

Bloody hell.

This is a big responsibility to give a speech after all these years.

So many years have passed since we had our

mutual challenges, tests and competitions,

and became companions; one might say, brothers.

Brothers?! Brothers don't nick chicks.

Back about the pink one? Of course we're brothers, man.

Because of you, my gang fellows, I escaped from my wife,

and you don't even know the name of the pink one!

What are you trying to tell, huh?

My wife ran away not because of the gang.

Are you talking about your psycho Arturas?

Damn, I hate this motherfucking story!

Why did you have to remind me of it?! Why??

Vycka, no one was to remind you of anything.

Don't even start. Do you understand this saying.

Tomas! Did you hear the news - Linelis will have vasectomy!

Vasectomy! Are you insane?

If you can't have children, what kind of man are you?

What do you know about children? What the hell do you know?

Why do you care about children out of the blue? Can't make them yourself?

Have you done a test?

The longer you wait, the slimmer the chances.

That's right, Tomukas, the older you get, the weaker the sperm.

Stop the crap, OK?

You need to find out.

Tomas, let's check if your kefir ain't sour yet.

Folks, we're off to have fun in town, what the hell are you on about?

When? Right now.

As they say in Bali: 'reap the rice before the boa crawls'.

Oh, c'mon.

Hey, you, with the fan - can you read the signs??

Are you talking to me?

Guys, guys, stop, stop. This is ridiculous!

Why the shit always happens to me??

Not to you, or you, but me??

There might be some universal laws.

I'll kick you straight in your universal law

Guys, there's a fertility clinic right behind the corner.

Don't start. Enough.

We're not leaving Linelis in such condition alone.

What - let's not leave Linelis? You were so brave

in the dressing room? Chickening out now?

We'll all keep you company, OK?

Keep me company and laugh at me pulling my goose,

which lays no eggs? That's nice mates, huh?

Let's do it all together, since we got here together.

Let's go to the clinic and flood it together!

About flooding. I can't do it.

We had tantric sex lectures in Bali,

so I need to abstain for 35 days, and I've been doing fine.

ALL of us. ALL of us.

All of us.

You'll truly enjoy it.

Let's go. Can't wait, let's go!

Welcome!

The last one is the loser!

Common, guys, I'm not as well-trained as you are.

INCOMING CALL: DOVILE

Hi, how come you didn't.

What are you up to?

Some competition I'm in, baby.

After our tantric honey moon, when only a week is left??

Voice in the background: c'mon guys!

Honey, this is for the guys.

You disgusting animal! You pig.

Repeat it, babe.

You're a savage - only one thing in your mind! You immoral boar!

Yes, I am. You little pervert!

You lewd, disgusting pervert!

I command you to come back!

Honey, that was kinky, but interesting!

Have to go. Have to repeat.

Kisses and bye.

What can I say? We lost.

You're the flash! I'm divorced, therefore a flash!

How much is that in yours? Minimum 3 weeks!

In yours? 24 hours.

How's Linas doing.

Linelis, are you alive? Are you OK?

Not OK.

Perhaps he's experiencing the blockage.

Linas, first of all, build a tower!

Thanks for your help.

Linas, think about the woman of your dreams!

Think about leva.

Have you seen how she looks on Facebook? How?

Fucking amazing.

Yeah, Linelis, think about leva.

Lineli, don't worry. We're waiting here for you - everything's OK.

Pump it! Create vacuum in your palm, OK?

Linelis, polish the carrot while it's hard!

Press down!

Linas, imagine yours is like the one of Jankunas!

C'mon, I'll help you.

Look at the mirror - it always looks bigger there.

Linas! Linas! Linas! Linas!

You're distracting me.

Here he is! Not even 3 days went by

Sniper, what happened? The trigger got stuck?

You act like imbeciles, I couldn't focus!

Yes, indeed! Ask Kriste if you don't believe me

No worries - it happens to many. What happens?

More difficult. With age.

Linelis, please, don't take it seriously.

All you need is positive female attention and you are good to go again.

How? You work hard, put effort, but there's no respect or understanding.

Let's go! Linas, let's go!

What's this? Folks!

What's on my face?

Did you have make up on? Mascara's run down.

It doesn't come off!

Let me help.

You're like a mother with saliva, for heaven's sake!

You look like Marilyn Manson

Do you even know how popular he is among chicks?

And dudes.

This is not Manson. This is Stallone: Rocky on one side, Rambo on the other.

These things mean something.

It means I stay alone with Elmenhorster, while you're clubbing.

No way I'm outing like this!

We arrived together, we will have fun together,

and so together we'll watch TV. What??

(TV in the background): the amazing gorillas.

A great show on monkeys, we better not miss it!

Times are changing:

before we would watch basketball with beer

and now monkeys on TV, and juice.

That's cool! Let's celebrate healthy life style

Malinauskas, tomato and beetroot juice stimulates potency.

What am I to do with this potency?

And in general... Vycka!

Stop it for once, enough! We'll sit here all together, we'll relax.

There's no bloody way to relax with you!

Vytas, let's do it, just lay down. Piss off, leave me alone!

I tried.

Their constitution is quite intimidating:

strong physique, chest, long and muscular arms.

Nothing's left. There's nothing left, but that something.

What is that, you may ask?

This is an opportunity for us to unite and gather in one bunch.

Like a strong broom, which no hardship could ever break!

Something like that.

What?

Did you say something to us?

I was reading the welcome speech!

Nice speech.

A priest gave a similar one at grandma's funeral.

Stop all this nonsense! I have no time for talks!

Vycka, what do you think?

I don't fucking care. I have no opinion.

For fuck's sake.

I thought you were calling the helpline, am I supposed to know??

What helpline? I called Kriste to ask

about the kids, if they're in bed already.

Can I not speak my mind?? Fucking amazing

Friday night! We're surrounded by monkeys,

and you even call your wife! This is a total fuck up.

Speaking of Kristina, according to Facebook posts,

She does not care about your calls.

Who's Richardas?

To hell with everyone.

Let's go!

Hell yeah, Linelis!

Four beers for men from the sawmill, the old hippies!

One alcohol-free, please -No, no, 4 beers.

Light, dark?

White green, white green. Hey hey hey hey!

This boy's got a belly just for beer!

Here's to the first one.

Hello!

Sorry.

I haven't been to Kaunas for a long time, but it was so cool,

the mates met me upon the arrival from Bali.

I've been feeling so good. My goodness!

Girl, there's some left there.

Cool! That tall man by the bar is Vycka's therapist, who stole the wife.

Vycka's therapist!

Here's Vycka.

Hoo hoo - how are youuu?

Not so great. What?

Want a drink? This bar is emptier.

What's that? Something stuck in my eye

It got out.

Let's go, the night is young. No, I don't want to drink!

Common, relax.

What are you looking at?

Let's make a deal.

Common! Stop it!

I'm off now.

Hey, everyone.

Officer Linas Pranckevicius! Drug department.

Show your pockets, alright! Any drugs?

We don't have. We got checked at the door.

If you got checked at the door, go back

and tell them I sent you there for another check!

Move, move, you're not in your mamma's house.

You lady, stop right here for a closer inspection,

you are causing a lot of suspicion!

Officer, can we make an arrangement of some kind?

OK, I'm not an officer. You can go. I just saw you were in trouble.

Thank you. What about your license?

It's just a raw foods club card.

I'm Linas by the way. The cultural heritage of Lithuania.

I'm Agne. Simply Agne.

It's like there was a series in my old days called 'Simply Maria'.

Nice. Nice.

It's quite nice in here.

Your hand is nice!

Thank you.

I like beautiful hands.

Stay here for a bit, I'll bring alcohol

Hoo hoo! How are you.

Woohoo!

You are here!?

Good day! How are you? Good day to you bitch!

Jurga!

Artūras!

Get down here you son of a bitch! You stole my wife, you piece of shit!

You're misstating the facts, nobody stole anyone!

Vytautas, it was your wife's decision to leave you!

Only after you fucked her brain.

Calm down, Vytautas! We discussed it for hundreds of times at our sessions.

Come here, you fucking Jung! I'll bloody show you therapy

According to my findings, this marriage made you both unhappy!

You don't know shit! You're so special, right?

Shitty Schopenhauer! Come out now!

Or you shat yourself from fear, huh?

Where is Vytautas? He saw a friend, and left.

What's this?

This one doesn't come off, and this one is a long story.

You can't walk around like this. It can be removed,

and this one covered with make-up.

Is that possible?

How about we go to your place

and take care of everything?

We can go.

For love!

If you want to build a new healthy relationship,

you must let go of your suppressed anger, Vytautas!

Anger?? Anger you say?? Let me show you how I let go of my anger!

Anger is just a symptom, you must find the root cause!

Ask yourself and listen quietly - what upsets you most?

You know what upsets me most? That I missed my chance

to kick your ass during the first session!!

What are you doing?? Calm down! We'll get kicked out!

Don't worry about it! Look at the bright site.

If he's here, he's not with your wife!

She's no longer mine, you understand?

Learn to let go. Just let go!

Guess who? Simona.

Hello!

Gediminas. Simona.

OK.

Why are you so stressed? Is there anything I can do?

Excuse me, with regards to help, I'd accept it gladly

Sure, but you see, me and Tomas belong together!

Like two halves of apple or two birds on the branch, am I right?

I'll be right back!

My name's Vytautas.

Vytautas Malinauskas, a plastic surgeon. Have you heard of me?

Perhaps.

Tomas is calling.

Let's go to Tomukas.

There we go, the real face has shown up.

Sure, the Friday face it is.

Why are you so stressed? I know what you need.

This is it!

What is this?

A doctor has prescribed it to me for depression.

The best one I've ever had. You'll become happy instantly.

Maybe not.

Do as you please, but keep it for a rainy day, you never know.

I'm married!

So cute.

Linas! I'm so sorry. Alcohol and pills gave me this knock-out.

And a bit of acetone too.

Linas.

Baby, we were so worried. Are you hungry?

Nope.

I'm very thirsty.

What were you doing?

I was chasing that fucker Arturas.

Then we went to some dump,

where Tomukas passed out!

I did not pass out! Yes, you did!

I'm Napoleon! I did not pass out!

What sort of Napoleon are you! An old hippie!

Let's pull him further!

Don't worry, we'll take care of you.

Always the same. Give me my shoe back.

You're an old hippie.

I'll skewer you like a game.

Hush! There're cameras here!

Wow.

Linelis, one of us got lucky.

I miss Kotryna so much.

I love her so much. She's the softest in the world.

You never spend time with her!

I fear she'll never be happy with a man like me!

What man are you.

Like...

I'm firing blanks.

You cannot know this! Perhaps she prefers it this way.

What do you mean?

With you like this!

Wait! What are you doing? It's not Kotryna.

Is this Simona? No, it's not her. It's Agne.

Agne? The pink top that I liked?

What are you doing there? - Skewers!

Hey, you carrot polisher, give us a hand!

We'll let you thrust meat on the skewer.

No, he's already thrust a hen on his skewer tonight.

What? Who thrust - me? I thrust nobody,

I spent all night waiting for you downstairs!

Oh, c'mon! You call yourself, myself, your, my friend?..

Linas, you got no shame teasing all chicks - go shit yourself!

Yeah, Linelis, go shit yourself!

Besides, Linas, you've always hook up the prettiest chicks. leva, for example.

Nothing ever happened between me and leva.

Nothing ever happened between you and leva?

No skewers for you!

Where was I going? - Go shit yourself!

That's it!

I'm sleeping on the balcony.

I'm an old hippie, I'll sleep in the bath, so that Simona can't find me.

I'll sleep in my room then. Call me if you need me.

Bloody hell, I'm done with partying.

Guys, you go ahead, I'll be right back!

Good afternoon. Good afternoon! We're back.

I remember you perfectly. Here are your results.

Gediminas Zalenas.

Yes! My super sperm. Shit yourself, Artūras

What have you got?

As I understand, all is OK, just the quantity is above the norm.

You've saved it up! The enlightened tantra one!

Could you explain it to me?

It says the amount of your active sperm is so low,

that you couldn't have children.

It would very difficult.

But I already have children.

Sure, but perhaps that happened a few years ago.

Do you smoke or stress a lot?

Sure, he's under much stress - he's got to give a speech

at the class reunion tonight.

And he can't think of what to say.

OK, well.

Let's check Tomas' records.

No, no, no.

If we're doing it, we're doing it together.

I'm not going to the class reunion like a loser with a negative score.

You think, me the loser CAN go to the reunion with a negative score?

Give it to me! - Open it now!

I'll look at it myself!

Gentlemen! Are you leaving by yourselves,

or shall I call the police to escort you?

We're leaving now. Good bye.

Linelis, you're the one we're waiting for!

Unless you're into a new hipster tracksuit style.

Do you have your speech ready?

Are you sure you want to hear it?

(Speaks Russian): Once, I went past a workshop,

when someone hit me with a plank.

I screamed at him, "you 're a cheeky fellow!"

But he waived his dick at me.

This could be a version, Linelis.

You should work on the mid part.

Imbeciles. Not funny at all.

I find it quite funny though.

Linas.

Get changed, and say that speech, or...

...or you keep polishing the carrot in the basement

and start hating yourself more and more every day...

...which makes you clearly understand you're the loser of the losers.

Malinauskas, stop being a dick, alright?

Linelis, take a chance and do something!

If you stay like this with a carrot up your ass, nothing will change!

Like they say in Bali: reap the rice, before the boa crawls!

Saddle the horses, brothers!

Saddle the horses, brothers!

You've got to ride off to war!

Saddle the horses, brothers!

You've got to ride off to war!

Pass me the sword, my sister!

I've got to slash the enemy!

Pass me the sword, my sister!

I've got to slash the enemy!

Smell it, what is it?

Pussy perhaps..? Piss off!

Linelis, are you OK? You'll be fine, don't worry.

Guys, everything actually IS OK.

I think YOU are moody.

Very soon we'll be there and see everyone!

There are few, who I'd rather not see.

Do you mean Jurga? Don't worry, I can reconcile you two!

Everything will be fine.

I'm not even going to talk to her.

OH, OH, OH, let's be friends, let's stay together.

Linelis, are you feeling alright?

I'm feeling great! Guys, I love you all so much!

Try another cheek Come here, baby

Linelis, piss off! I will trim it for you

Stop it! I'm driving.

Linelis, spare your energiser for all those old ex-classmate ladies!

Not the old ones, but the ones who manage to live long.

levute might be present.

Finally, Linelis, you've finally realised what the class reunion is all about!

He'll finally get hooked up with the classmate!

Let's sing our mating song.

(Pretends to speak a Nordic language)

I saw you a long time ago.

My heart is in pain!

Your hair has changed its colour!

I hear the voices in my head!

They keep telling me to go to you!

But you are not here!

leva, you're my only one!

My heart is all yours!

Love, love, love!

Love, love, love!

Our love story!

And the sinus theory.

Here we go.

It feels like they all got sick, so their parents came instead.

Feels great! And so cosy.

Shall we say hello to everyone.

Hey, Virbalas, you look awesome! Have you been exercising? Give me five.

Why so neat and tidy, huh? - Stop it.

Alright, I move on to say hello.

I follow you on Facebook, wanted to attend your seminar.

Thank you! I don't remember having such a classmate!

Tomas. - Saule.

Nice to meet you.

I can tell a good party is ahead.

Hey, guys, what's up? Look, Zakoshanskis

We've to say hello.

Hello! What's up?

As they say: no money, no problem

I've just had a nice chit-chat with Jurga.

What took you so long.

What's up, Pranckevicius?

Got a family?

Or still pine away after leva?

Damn, I've missed you so much.

Fuck man don't be a dick.

One, one, mic, mic.

Good evening, everyone!

Welcome!

I'm the party host, and I hope I can do my job well.

I hope to pass the exam according to the new

grading system of 100, which ends at 99.

Good one!

OK, To be served.

And while we wine and dine, no one will be left sad.

We've got games coming next.

Some old local songs.

And someone has prepared a speech.

What a cool biomass.

What are you doing? It was an accident, sorry.

What do you mean, an accident? You've ruined his shirt!

No problem, I'll take it off! No, you won't!

I will not get ready for it, as I'm already ready.

leva.

You're not going anywhere.

Vycka, I never told you this, but you're my best friend!

You're insane! leva!

leva, I'll be right back.

Linas, you can't go like this. What's wrong with you? Did you take anything?

Yeah, Agne gave me something on prescription.

What prescription?

I don't know, I'm no doctor.

Calm down. What will people think?

I don't know, I'm no telepath. I love you!

Linas, stop. Relax.

In Bali, this exercise is called 'A Lion'.

Well.

Well?

You don't remember me.

No, the brain doesn't recall. Should it?

Well, does the green mattress in the school gym tell you anything?

Oh, hello!

Aiste!

I'm not Aiste!

I'm Livija, from Radiocentras.

Livija

The time flies, huh?

What do you mean?

Time runs fast.

Alright, now let's shake the crown chakra, everybody.

Margarita, beat your chest.

Over there's my girl - she's working here, will earn money.

Great, yeah?

Great, yeah she will work tonight.

Do you have children? Are they still small?

Me?

No, I have a dog.

A dog? Great.

Yeah, you know, I travel a lot.

If you leave kids alone, they will scream,

but a dog squeaking is no big deal. Except for neighbours.

It's great, all this thing, you know, good to be together again.

Yeah.

The concept of the party is well thought, don't you think?

Fuck knows.

Linas, do you have an extra shirt?

Here you are! Come here, Linelis has consumed something.

What?

Take that shirt off him, please.

Linelis, when did you do it?

Shall I be naked?

Yes, feels better indeed.

What has he got there?

Loads of T-shirts.

Huh?

My wedding outfit from Bali.

Thank you.

Sorry, let's sit together!

No way!

Hello Ieva!

You know your whole face, your eyes, cheeks, nose, lips, jaws, nose septum,

and the entire head look so much better now than back in school days.

One, two, three, four... how many children you got?

None.

Who is your husband? Are you married?

No.

What? Are you saying, you've been hiding away all this time?

Why hiding. OK. How's you sex life?

Are you getting enough?

Maybe not as good as for you with Vycka.

With Vycka?

Since his divorce, Vycka has no sex at all.

He can just shake off himself.

Listen, sex guru, let's go for your text.

No need for a speech, the speech came out perfectly.

Hey, here's a song.

Why does the blossom

fade away in autumn's frost?

Somebody breaks the heart

into small shatters.

Wonderful love

turns into ashes.

And I don't know where your mistake is.

Everyone makes mistakes in life.

Love and long for something.

Green springs return, the life never comes back.

Hell, man.

If I did Livija's daughter, do you know what would it mean?

What?

Full house!

What do you mean?

Literally: Livija, her daughter, and Livija's mother.

Three-in-one!

Have you done it with the grandma? Are you insane?

She was not a grandma 20 years ago.

Do it more sincerely!

Vycka! Here's you pretty wife.

The same beauty, who left you for a younger man!

Voila!

Hello, Vytautas.

Arguments, huh?

Standard behaviour of an adult.

Our Vycka is most standard of all of us!

I only wanted to ask how he was.

He's doing alright.

We were in Kaunas yesterday, took part in the dreamers' competition

He's the dreamer number one!

I've heard you're doing pretty well too.

Got a new tattoo above the ass, and a young therapist!

If I were you, I'd also be fed up with this tired old horse!

This is not why I left Vytautas.

I left because it wasn't working out.

Anyways, he's still the best.

He's the best, sure, but not when WE are together.

We're better off apart.

Hello again, everyone! It's me.

Now, before Linas Pranckevicius delivers his speech...

Yeah! Woohoo!

...we have more fun Tomas will sing his song.

My dear classmates, now, just like in the old school parties,

we've got our school's science teacher 'The Dreamer' on stage!

The Dreamer was sitting on the top of a poplar,

And saw a shiny object.

'That's my star' - the Dreamer decided.

And smiled at it!

Oh my Dreamer, my sweet Dreamer,

This is not your star;

This is only a flying object passing by!

Oh my Dreamer, my sweet Dreamer,

This is not your star;

This is only a...

I can't believe this is happening

Something, that started 20 years ago,

will finally reach its logical completion!

levute, you no longer need to bury your youth in the sarcophagus of resistance.

What's got into you? Same thing that should get into you!

Linas, you've changed.

I have changed, and so have you, and we're both mature,

so I am ready to pull out my Excalibur of love!

Jeez, what Excalibur, Linas?

Linas!

Have you seen Linas? - Oh, here's Tomas.

Tomas!

Wait here, alright?

Where are you off to? The class reunion is that way.

Guys.

Three in one is my new trophy.

What are you trying to prove?

Do you want to bloody bring me down?

What do you need these gazelles for?

How long are you planning to run away from your...?

And you - how long do you intend to hide away from yours?

You know, Bali is not a big island. No space to hide, and the locals.

Don't fuck my mind with that Bali of yours and you - with you gazelles!

It's not that simple!

Why?

It's simple to shag with empty balls!

That's where the boa has crawled.

Are you coming, Tomas?

To hell with you.

You need time, but the time's up.

We have to do it before the final bell rings.

We should do something the nature commands!

Let's do it at hay.

What hay? Fresh hay.

What's wrong? It won't happen!

We shouldn't do this.

Guess who? Simona!

No, girls, that's it!

I am a married man, and I have commitments!

The end.

Now the gala speech by Linas Pranckevicius!

Linas is out somewhere.

Hopefully not to the headmaster's office.

Ignore me, it's alcohol speaking.

Speech! Speech! Speech!

Ready or not, here I am.

I'm not giving any speech! Move, move!

Hello, classmates.

While we're waiting for the main speaker, I'd like to have a word, too.

Me and Jurga were married for quite many years, but it didn't work out.

Now I'm thinking we should get back to it,

to talk to each other again.

Everything starts with me, I avoided you, but I'm willing now.

So much time has passed, I still get jealous about you.

I should let it go.

But when I remember how much you enjoyed the oral...

What am I blithering.

We're waiting for Linas.

So Jurga...

Where's Linas?

Can you feel it? You can.

Don't we interrupt you? You're just in time!

I'm about to give a speech! Damn.

Maybe you should rehearse it first?

Now it's the best time to reap the rice before the boa crawls!

It might not be the best time or reaping, You stay here together!

Yes! You stay here together! Let's go, Tomas, let's go!

This is my phone number, just in case.

Wow!

Good evening everyone again.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Nobody will escape alive before you hear my speech.

Just a sec.

I know what to say, anyway.

Dear schoolmates, 20 years have passed.

So much time, you say,

but if 30 years had passed, that would be even more!

20 years is not much at all.

What has happened over the 20 years?

The answer is - nothing!

I sit in the basement and polish carrots, my wife occasionally beats me up.

She has a lover who I greet every morning;

she's making me undergo vasectomy, that's just perfect.

Things were different at school, weren't they, levute?

We had big dreams and made them come true, or not, Zakoshanski?

But, most importantly,

everyone here today is fucked up.

Everyone must polish their carrots, then stick them

up your asses and pretend that all is well.

Smile through you clenched teeth.

However, that is totally normal.

This is called life! I can show you something.

Show me, dammit!

Life is life! Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me!

(Vomiting sounds)

Sorry, felt unwell for a second.

I knew it was best to be naked.

My dear classmates,

Tomorrow we'll be back to our reality,

and everything will go back to the old shitty yet ordinary routine.

Mostly importantly, save your rice from boas,

adders, cobras, and other parasites,

and everything will be normal!

Life is life!

Why are you all so moody?

Baby don't hurt me! Don't hurt me no more!

levute, here's for love

Life is life, isn't it, Zakoshanski?

Reap your rice before the boa crawls.

(Vomiting sounds)

I'll cut off the power.

Goodbye, Olia.

CONTACT ENTRY READS: 'EXHAUST PIPE WELDER'

Goodbye to Sandra, and Vaida.

They say, things could always be worse.

But looks like nothing could be worse than yesterday's events.

Guys, I apologize, but that wasn't me.

All is well, Linelis. Relax!

You'll remember this for the rest of your life! Naked: 'baby don't hurt me'

Sorry. I'm a little sick.

I look like shit.

Why? You only smell of vomit a bit, that's all.

Common, guys, we did alright last night.

Linelis put on a big show!

Just like after my seminars, he got enlightened.

He heard his soul, brought it to the surface, and let it out!

His masculine essence.

We're not discussing the state of his soul though.

I don't know what you call it in seminars,

but despite the sickness, I feel really good.

Back to the famous allegory of rice and boa -

now would be the perfect moment to reap it all!

Root it all out!

Some might find a turnip. Others - an aubergine.

No kisses!

I'm so sorry, and ready for my punishment You, the pig!

How was the reunion?

Alright. Quiet.

What are you doing?

As they say in Bali: new day, new life!

Getting rid of useless junk, set new goals.

How's that?

That's how it goes:

I texted Richard, he needn't show up at work tomorrow.

We'll do the representation ourselves.

Plus, I'll please the lady clients so well, that they'll come back for more.

Listen, Kristina, I'm soaking with sweat,

would you be so kind to make me a chia and spinach smoothie?

Or am I asking too much?

OK.

Where are the kids? At grandma's?

At grandma's.

You say, smoothie, huh?

I'll be right back,

just keep your boxing gloves on, OK?