Original subtitles

Hey.

Do the door, Ronnie.

Right, let her.

Oh, God, what a blazy... Hello, Major.

I said we'd drop by tonight.

Well, what the devil do you think you're playing at?

We ain't playing, pal.

Not any more.

Oh, that's a very rare piece.

That's a very rare piece, Bruno.

Oh, looks like a bit of old junk to me. But please, it's a most rare piece. Not

half as rare as your old woman, I mind you.

I mean, she takes the kite, don't she?

My wife is no longer here.

What do you mean, mind you?

That'll look a streak or something.

My wife is no longer here, and I neither know nor care where she is. So your old

woman's run off and left you, then, is she?

Now, that's a big problem for us, isn't it, runner?

Right, Lenny.

Your old woman's done a runner and she owes me ten grand.

And I'm a reasonable man, Major.

Not when it comes down to that sort of dough I am. Well, I'm sorry, but I'm no

longer responsible for my wife's gambling debts.

Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do, so kindly take your leave before I

call the police.

Right.

Major, I ain't a marriage guard and a counsellor, you know.

You sort your problems out with your old woman, I don't care.

But I'm telling you, for the last time, I want my money.

But look... No buts, Major.

You've got three days.

Do you understand? Three days.

Or Ronnie and me are going to get well out of order. And by God, when we get

of order, we do it. We start, don't we, Ronnie?

Right, Lenny. Yes, but you must understand, I simply haven't got that

money. Sell a clock.

Yeah.

You could sell a clock.

Three days, Major.

And don't even think about going to the law about our private business.

Because if you do, all your posh friends are going to hear about your old lady's

bad habits.

And I'm going to come back here and go through this lot with a bleeding collar!

Have a nice day.

God damn you to hell!

Ladies and gentlemen, I name this life -giving pump Irrigator.

God bless her and all who are watered by her.

Oh, darling.

My little beauty.

But I pay water rates. I pay an arm and a leg in water rates. I realise you

already pay water rates, Mr Boone.

But as I've already explained, you're only paying the normal domestic rate.

So an arm and a leg isn't good enough, eh?

Why is it that people always resent paying for a service which is by far the

finest in the world?

Probably because you charge the earth for something that falls out of the sky,

it's got free.

But it falls out of the sky with all sorts of horrible nasties in it, Mr

It doesn't fall to earth in the pure and healthy form it's in when it flows from

your... Well, there's some that would argue with that.

Don't all know it. However, as you are now drawing water directly from a nearby

stream to irrigate a commercial enterprise, you must apply for a

something you should have done before installing your pumping system. However,

look, that stream does not belong to you. It's been there since the beginning

time. It falls under our jurisdiction, Mr Boone, as does every river, stream

babbling brook within a hundred mile radius.

Irrigator. Pardon?

Irrigator. My pump.

Put the filter on.

Good afternoon, sir.

Hello.

Have you got a single room, please?

Yes, sir.

May I ask for how long you're staying?

Depends. Two, three, maybe four nights.

Is it a problem?

No problem.

Room 10. Up the stairs, first on the right.

Dining room is just to the right through there.

Thank you.

There's a Mrs. Evans still working here.

Doreen, yeah.

Well, part -time. You know her.

You could say that.

Thank you.

It should have been chucked out years ago.

It's not a toaster, it's a bloody incinerator. I'm not having one of those

newfangled contraptions in my kitchen.

Besides, I know what's wrong with it.

Hey, you want to get rid of that, Harry? It's a fire hazard. Now, don't you

start. What are you looking so happy about?

Three dead fish, a ton of mud, a pile of wood.

I'm back where I started.

What is it, a book, a film or a stage play?

It's no film that I know of.

It's my new water pump.

Oh, no.

Yeah. Oh.

Well, there's only one thing for it, Ken, isn't there?

Yeah, I suppose so.

A proper job.

No, worse than that, Evelyn.

I'm going to have to put that box 13 out back in the local paper.

Oh, dear.

You can say that again.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

You look well.

I'm well.

I'm well and I'm happy.

What are you doing here?

Can I get you a drink?

No.

Why are you here, Jack?

You've changed.

Oh, if you mean by that, I'm a little more direct than I used to be. Well,

you're dead right.

What are you doing here, Jack?

What does it matter?

I'm here.

No, please don't go. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm here on business.

Temporary attachment to the Midlands while a colleague's away on holiday.

Why here? Why book in here?

Why not?

All right, all right.

I came to see you.

Nothing wrong with that, is there?

You looked horrific.

And, um...

How's Mandy these days?

I haven't seen Mandy in over two years.

Hey, come on.

We've got so much to talk about after all this time.

Why don't I book a table at a local bistro for tonight, eh? Just like old

We've got nothing to talk about, Jack.

And I'm not interested in old times.

Oh, superb, Major. Truly superb.

This exceeds even what I have heard.

I was delighted to get hold of you in England. You know, your wife... Yes,

fortunate indeed.

Oh, these gold hunters are magnificent.

Yes, yes, they are.

Another sherry, Mr. Van Kessel. Oh, yes, thank you. Oh, and please, it is Henk.

Oh, Henk.

What a beautiful collection.

You will be sad to part with some of these fine pieces, yes?

Yes, yes, indeed I will.

Till needs must when the devil drives.

Cheers, Major.

Cheers.

I will take the three gold hunters, the Augsburg and the French carriage clock.

That is all I'm interested in for the moment.

Ah, yes. Well, they're all very fine pieces, all very valuable.

8 ,000 sterling.

Cash, of course.

God, then 8 ,000?

Stay like robbery.

That, Major, is my one and only offer. Take it or leave it, as you please.

A tiger never changes its spots.

Men are no different.

A tiger has stripes, I thought.

Well, whatever.

You know what I mean.

One's a womaniser.

It's in the blood, you see.

You know, the first four or five years, it was great. When he worked hard.

It's John Van Dalmaris.

I still don't know what went wrong or why.

Well, why does night follow day?

Why does Steve Davis always seem to win at snooker?

Why didn't you meet someone like Ken first time around?

You never know the answers, love.

Ethel, honestly, you are amazing.

Well, just you be careful, my girl.

He's not turned up here just to talk about old times, you know.

Santa Penny's trying to get his feet back under your table.

Well, got a chance of that.

You've as much chance of Harry buying a new toaster. Over my dead body.

Precisely.

Ah, directory inquiries.

Which town, please?

Birmingham. Complete, please.

The Grand Hotel, West Heath.

The guest in room 16 is complaining about the washbasin. What?

I fixed that last week. Well, it's leaking again.

Oh, all right.

Anything else?

Room 17.

Something about the wardrobe.

Good morning, Mr Evans.

Morning. Grand Hotel.

Can I help you?

I hope you can.

What, Mr Boone?

Hold on a minute, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

I'll take this in my office, I leave.

Sorry about that.

Mrs Evans, Doreen.

Does she actually live in the establishment?

Hello, sir.

Yes, well, I'm afraid Mr Boone doesn't actually have an office here, sir, but I

can take a message.

Who's it calling?

I'm sorry, but that's not possible.

I can't give out the private address of the staff.

Oh, come on.

I'm sure a man of your experience is very well aware that rules are there to

broken.

Right, Major.

I'll get Mr Boone to call you back as soon as I can, sir.

Yes, goodbye, sir.

Five not enough for you, eh?

Go on, take it.

There's no way I'd tell her where I got it from.

No.

Well, I'm not leaving already, are you?

Er, honey, I'm the owner of this establishment. No, I'm not leaving. I'm

perfectly happy. Thank you.

That,

Harry, is my ex.

Was he causing any trouble?

Was he?

No.

He was trying to give me money for your address.

What? Honey, if you didn't... Of course not. Yeah, all right, honey. Look, Peter

can get hold of Ken for me. Tell him it's a cap job.

Oh, honey, if I'm sorry, love.

I was being silly. I know.

Let's hope so.

Come on, Ken.

Oh, I don't know.

I seem to have lost a bit.

Well, what does it look like?

What is it?

No.

Leave it.

The perfect excuse.

No, even Ethel won't be able to mend the bloody thing.

Now, what's he up here for, then?

Or should I mind my own business?

Jack, he says he's here on business.

Just business.

Well... If he's got anything else in mind, Harry's going to come well undone.

No offer from Ken, Harry?

Oh, never mind, Annie.

I'll just have to pop out to the Ponderosa and see him.

Well, I'll go if you like, love. I've a driver's immigrant.

Oh, right, yeah.

Fine, tell him it's a cash job, a Major Hopkinson.

Thanks, Rory.

Right, and I've been with you, mate.

Oh.

You're just in time to make the tea. Ah, yes.

You look as though you need a cuppa and a good bath.

Scrub me back.

Well, I can't do that and make the tea, can I?

Well, sod the tea.

Oh, Mr. Van Kessel, please.

Hopkinson here.

I accept your offer.

8 ,000 cash today.

Today.

I shall be away for the weekend.

Take it or leave it, Mr. Van Kessel.

Fine, I'll be at home.

Special delivery, Mum.

How did you find out where I lived?

We have our little ways.

Aren't you going to ask me in?

Why should I?

Why shouldn't you?

Now, look, Jack, I mean... Dorian, all I want is a chat.

No hassle, no aggravation.

Just a little chat, eh?

Oh.

It's a nice place you've got here.

Very cosy.

Horror what, Major?

Horologist, Mr. Bolden.

Someone who collects or repairs or is fascinated by timepieces.

Cheers. Cheers.

So, how many have you got?

353 in all.

Well, I've been a collector for over 35 years. You know, I had two books

published on the subject.

Really?

Yes, but that was years ago. I still do the odd article here and there, you

know, monthly publications, that sort of thing.

Pays very little, of course, but it all helps.

I like this one over here. My mum used to have one like that.

Well, I doubt it's the same, Mr Boone. You see, that is a French carriage clock

by Guy Herdé, early 1800s.

Oh, I see.

Must be worth a few bob.

Oh, that piece must be worth over 3 ,000 pounds.

3 ,000 quid?

Bloody hell.

So, how much is the... Well, the whole collection?

Well, it's insured for 100 ,000 pounds.

That, Major, is a lot of money.

Yes.

Yes.

It's very rare pieces, you see.

But you came to be very well recommended, Mr. Boone.

Why, then, shall we talk business?

Independent businesswoman, too, eh?

It's very impressive.

How's it going?

Who pays the rent?

Jack, how did you find out where I live?

I cannot tell a lie.

I was sneaky enough, Oliver.

You were?

Yeah. I know it's a bit off, but nobody will tell me where you live.

Well, I'm not surprised the way you went about it. Offering people bribes.

Offering friends bribes. I told you, Lily.

As I said, Jack, friend.

What about that other bloke?

grumpy -looking yob in a dirty vest.

Is he a friend?

Just a grumpy -looking bloke in a vest.

Hmm.

Place like a... gypsy camp.

You mean to tell me that you followed me round to Ken's place?

Well, I didn't know.

I thought you were going home.

You thought bloody wrong then, didn't you?

And not that it's any of your damn business, but that job, as you call him,

happens to be a good friend of mine.

I'm sorry. A very, very good friend.

In fact, the best man I know.

Now, if you've finished your coffee, I think you should leave.

I'm sorry.

I didn't want to intrude. Oh, but you did, Jack.

You did and you have.

Now, please go.

I'm sorry.

You were my wife.

Yes.

And I want you to know that I realise what a terrible mistake I made.

You'll get over it.

I did.

Thanks for the drink, Major.

I'll see you tomorrow afternoon.

Splendidly miserable.

Five o 'clock.

Good day to you.

Yourself. Bye -bye. Goodbye.

Oh, don't mess me about.

Come on, you useless piece of junk.

Right, my girl.

Next stop for you is the carpet.

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Maniac! Sorry, mate.

You bloody, stupid idiot!

Hey, that's a big spawn, isn't it?

No bikers in here, mate. Shut up, Harry. Give us a drink.

I think me and that bike are coming to the end of a long and difficult

relationship. Oh, sense at last.

Hey, how'd you get on?

Well, it's not too bad. It's sort of a babysitting number, in a manner of

speaking.

An earner.

Hey, £2 .64.

Yeah, under a quid for the weekend.

Hold up, £2 .64.

I know prices have gone up, Harry, but this is going a bit strong, isn't it?

Yes, well, it's 64 the pint and two quid for them.

You know John Turner, your old station officer?

He's flogging them in aid of the brigade's annual ball.

I'll put you down for a couple of quid. I cop for this every year, don't I?

Here, stick them in a jar, will you, in case I lose them.

Hey, the first prize is a fortnight's holiday for two on the Costa Brava.

Harry, I can't even win an argument.

Oh, yes,

you can.

Mind you, me and Doreen sunning ourselves on the beach.

What about me?

You'd look a bit daft in a bikini, wouldn't you? I don't know.

Smushy, you know.

8 ,000 as I promised.

You know, Major, I can't for the life of me work out that a straight -up right

chap like yourself ended up with a scrubber like our old woman.

Look, you've got your money. Take it and go.

Chew in all these or you'll swap them for a cock.

Get out.

Watch it, you, you sloppy old bastard.

All right, Ronnie, leave it there.

All present and correct, Major.

We'll find our own way.

Don't forget, Major, 2 ,000 by Tuesday.

I'll let Ronnie loose on this lot, all right?

You'll get your money.

Of course we will, Major.

Of course we will.

Night -night.

Cheers.

Well, the catch is, you see, you're going to be alone with me.

Well, me and 300 -odd clocks.

Well, would it be all right?

All right.

Weekend in the country, nice big posh house.

All the works, of course it'd be all right.

No, no, I mean, will it be all right with your prospective client?

He won't be there, will he?

He's off to some dinner in Aldershot.

Oh, I don't know, Ken.

It's some profession on your part, you know. Come on, he's getting two

babysitters for the price of one.

Hmm. That's one way of looking at it, I suppose.

Is it settled, then, eh?

Weekend, forget your troubles.

Just what the doctor ordered.

A deal?

All right. A deal.

Terrific.

Now, I won't stay.

Because if I'm going to get the Ponderosa in order, I'm going to have to

at dawn.

Okay.

Thanks.

Well, it's really quite simple, Mr. Boone, but you must remember two

things. One, all the upstairs rooms are on this panel here.

And operational now.

And that includes the pressure mats on the stairs.

On the stairs?

Yes, but don't worry.

With the loo in the kitchen on this level, you won't need to venture

There's those.

Some more.

Fair enough.

So, um, what's the second thing?

Ah, now, you must first close this door before switching on the alarm.

If you need to go into the room, you must remember to switch the alarm off

before opening this door.

Actually, the system is linked to a series of klaxon hooters hidden around

house. It's also directly linked to the local police station.

I think that's all you need to know.

Well, it seems fair enough, my dear. Oh, there's nothing to it.

Oh, the instructions for the clock.

Ah, time I was off.

I'll see you on Sunday night then, Mr Bull. Yeah, well, enjoy your dinner,

major.

I expect I shall have to.

Any luggage, madam?

Just baggage, my good man.

But I can walk.

Now then, madam.

Time to talk about your troubles.

What troubles, Ken?

You've forgotten already.

I think you're going to have to remind me.

Remember now?

It's all coming back to me.

You know...

Ethel was right.

Things could have been different.

What do you mean, different?

Well, different from now.

Different from the way things are.

Ethel and I were talking earlier, you see, about the tiger changing his spots.

Oh, come on.

Tigers don't have spots.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Hmm.

I don't think I will.

Oh, bloody hell.

I can't believe it.

I do.

I'll die.

Every time.

Come on.

Ten.

That's that one.

Only another three to go, love.

Nice weekend in the country, you know.

You know, all these clocks ticking. It's a form of torture.

Only if you notice.

Listen, there's a carriage clock over there. Worth three grand, the major

You know, Ken, if we spend a night in this room, we're going to go insane.

That's funny.

We've heard before.

Look, isn't there a room we can use without any clocks, love?

It's not allowed.

My mum used to have one, very similar.

Hold up, where are you going?

It is allowed to go to the loo, I trust.

Well, yeah, of course.

Hold up.

This is maddening.

Sorry, Tiger, but I can't spend the night being driven insane.

What did you do?

I didn't do anything!

You went up the stairs, didn't you? Yes, yes, turn it off, for God's sake, Ken!

I don't even know what kid is right there.

I'm sorry.

Oh, Ken, turn it off!

Turn it

off!

Now then, Mr Boone.

They've managed to get in touch with Major Hopkinson.

He's satisfied us that you were in his house with his consent.

Does that mean we can go?

Yeah. Your lady friend is waiting.

She doesn't look too happy, though.

All our bloody fault.

How's the Major?

Did he's not?

Live it, he is.

Some weekend in the country, that turned out to be.

You should have seen your face when it all went off.

What a picture.

Well, it would throw me to bloody death.

I could be that.

It's not funny.

I said it's not funny.

Oh, no, I suppose it isn't.

What did you go upstairs for, anyway?

I was trying, trying to find out a bloody bedroom.

Yeah, Doreen told me about it last night.

Sounds like something out of a Marx Brothers movie.

It's the right cock -up, mate. I went back there in the afternoon.

The good major was out.

What about your fee?

Well, would you pay me after all that, lot?

No, I don't suppose I would.

Serves you right for trying to mix business with pleasure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, well.

Hey, I've got some good news and some better news.

Yeah, what is it?

Well, you know John Turner... Hold on, hold on.

I understand you're very good friends with my ex -wife.

Well, that depends who your ex -wife is, mate.

Ken, this is Mr Evans, Doreen's ex -husband.

Mr Evans, this is Ken Bone.

I see.

How do you do?

Is it serious?

Is what serious?

You and my ex -wife.

Well, I don't think that's any of your business.

Not anymore?

Fair enough.

Do you want a drink?

No, I've got one, thanks.

Use yourself.

She's changed.

I wouldn't know.

No. I don't suppose you would.

Would you like to make my bill up?

Business all finished, is it, sir?

Yeah, that's right.

Business all finished.

Have a moment.

Oh, no wonder Dorian was on.

Well, she didn't tell you?

No.

What's all this?

I don't like the look of it, Harry.

Hey, good afternoon, gentlemen.

Paddy Crawford, owner. How can I help you?

I'd like to speak to Mr Boone, sir.

Who wants him?

The dead of Inspector Thomas, Mr Boone.

I believe you've already met Sergeant Wilson.

Yeah, we have.

What can I do you for?

I think it's more we can do you for, Mr Boone.

What's going on?

Where were you in the early hours of this morning, Mr Boone?

What do you mean?

Just answer the questions, please, sir.

Come on, what's going on?

Where were you, Mr Boone?

I was out at my place, Ponderosa.

The what?

It's a market garden near Kidderminster. Can you prove that, Mr Boone?

Why should I?

Come on, what's all this about?

In the early hours of this morning, Mr Boone, person or persons unknown,

into a property belonging to Major James Hopkinson.

Five very valuable tie pieces were stolen.

Yeah, and I'm the suspect. Come on, you've got to be out of your heads. I'm

burglar.

Besides, that place has got an alarm system like Fort Knox.

Believe me, I know.

Yes, we know all about that, Mr Boone.

I'm afraid if you can't remember your whereabouts last night, you'll have to

come with us to the station.

OK, OK.

I'll see you, Harry.

Oh, let's face a few facts, Mr Boone.

You knew how the alarm system worked?

You even had the keys in your hands for some ten hours.

Yeah, I might have had the keys, but I didn't have a clue how that system

worked.

All right, Mr Moon.

Now, the mate had told us when you first went out to his place, he showed some

interest in a certain French carriage clock.

He was even foolish enough to tell you its value.

I didn't show an interest. I just said my mum used to have one that looked just

like it.

After a messy pair, I do.

Oh, for God's sake.

After all the anger I had out there, all them bells going off, you lot arriving

like the 7th Cavalry, I'd be a right burp to try and nick his gear.

Yes, maybe.

Maybe you could be just a bit fly as well, eh?

No, I can't win with you lot.

Hold up.

What you talking about a messy pair?

I was talking about a French...

The carriage clock.

One of the stolen items.

That's what I thought.

When I was out there with Dory, my girlfriend, that clock wasn't there.

Straight up, it wasn't there. Of course it wasn't there, Mr Boone.

Clean, sir.

Turn the place upside down.

Turn what upside down?

Your cabin, of course.

You are a bit fly, aren't you, Mr Boone?

Sit down.

Bloody mess this is. Hey, say that again.

Ken! Oh, I've been so worried.

Oh, I ought to get Nick more often.

Listen, just give me a public warning not to leave town. They don't like me,

Harry. Let me get you a drink, mate. I could murder a pipe. All three.

What's going on now, love? I don't know. I'm stuck.

Simple as that.

There's a couple of things just don't add up.

What's the chance?

Well, one, a French carriage clock was there when I first went out there.

And when we were there, he wasn't there. Remember?

Right. And that mate just told the old Bill that no -one's been out there in

last three days.

So? Well, I know different.

I mean, the more I think about it, the more I think he's up to something.

Really. I don't know what to do about it.

Oh.

Is that all she said?

Well, she said to meet her at 12. She had some sort of plan.

Oh, I don't like this, Ken. Women on top.

Hey, I heard that, Harry.

Yes, all right, Cardinal Richelieu. Now, what's the big plan?

Can we use your office?

Yes, all right.

Hey, what's the book?

It's from the library, all about horology.

I don't know why.

Oh, you're half ignorant, Harry.

Are you sure this will work? Like a Swiss watch, mate.

Well, it will if the assessors haven't already contacted him.

Hello?

Major Hopkinson speaking, yeah.

Major, my name is Mr. Day, and I'm speaking to you from Bryant Insurance

Assessors. Oh, yes.

Now, Major, your insurers have been on to us already and asked me to get

somebody over to you who knows the territory, so to speak.

Well, you have moved fast.

Yeah, well, naturally, a claim of this sort will take some little time to

process, so...

Major, it'll be in your best interest if we get moving on this as soon as

possible. Yes, yes, of course. What are you suggesting, Mr. Day?

Now, would it be possible for our Miss Yates to come over and see you this

afternoon? She's a charming lady.

Yes, oh, that'd be no problem.

I mean, the sooner, the better from my point of view.

Oh, fine, Major. Well, in that case, I'll get Miss Yates on her way to you.

Goodbye, sir.

Goodbye.

Oh, Klein and bloody sinker. Great!

At least that'll get me in the door.

Hey, now, are you sure about this? I mean, the Major and the Dutchman.

Hey, how did you know he was Dutch?

Well, that Mercedes had Dutch number plates.

You wouldn't know Dutch plates from cab plates.

Oh, come on, mate. I'm intelligent between N, L and a D, can't I?

Now, second part of your plan, Miss Yeats.

Yes, sir.

See, what I reckon, it's too high a risk for that Major to slog that well -known

stuff in this country.

Especially if he's going for an insurance claim.

So, there's a lower risk of selling it to someone he knows is going to be out

the country the next day. Right.

And I bet you, you know, he's had dealings with this bloke before.

That's quite possible.

Oh, wow. Now, this is what Miss Yates has to do.

On the other hand, Jota, Emery... No, you know of Emery.

Well, Emery, working in Paris in the late 1900s, developed the German

part -quarter repeating word movement.

Repeating every seven and a half minutes.

Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

Miss Yates, what are you doing here?

Well, I'm here to check... I don't think you are.

For the past 15 minutes, I've been talking utter nonsense.

Emily worked in London in the 18th century.

The repeating clock was developed in the 17th century.

I thought the insurance people were moving with unnatural haste.

Perhaps I'd better check your credentials, Miss Yates.

Don't bother, Major.

I'm not from the insurance company.

I'm a friend of Ken Boone's.

I'm here to find out why he's under suspicion for stealing clocks that

already sold to your Dutch friends.

You left the front door open again, Major.

Oh, God.

We did say Tuesday, Major.

Yes. Yes, of course. Look, if we could talk outside.

Mr Yates, if you'd like to take a seat, I won't be a couple of minutes.

Afternoon, Mr Yates.

He won't be a couple of minutes.

Look, I haven't been able to get hold of it yet. That's a nice bird, my dear.

You're done off work fast, aren't you? It's got nothing to do with it.

You're a naughty man, my dear.

And selling clocks to a Dutchman, I dare, I dare, I dare you. That's

Two thousand pounds, pal, now.

But you haven't got it.

Ronnie, stop that.

Come on, Dad.

Or you.

What are you looking for?

Oh, I don't ever have to imagine. That weren't very clever, now was it? What

you doing here?

Just think about it, Major. Use your imagination.

Who's your ugly friends?

Oh, well, they're... We paid the Major a visit because he owes us large amounts

of money.

And so you go about collecting it, is it? It's going to go to the police,

it? No.

It ain't the kind of debt the Major would like made public, knows it, Major.

It's where the flying Dutchman comes in, isn't it, Major?

We're going to have to have a chat.

You, on your bike.

And take that tow rag out there with you. I will, I will.

So long, Major.

There's always another day.

You know, Major, we're only getting... That's all we've been doing so far.

We think that you sold your clocks to those Dutchmen to pay off those hoods.

Am I right?

Partly, yes.

But the sale didn't raise enough. I needed another 2 ,000.

I couldn't bear to tell any more clocks.

Therefore, the insurance claim.

Surely you realise, Major, that Kennan be the police's prime suspect.

I can only say that I'm sorry, Mr Boone.

Honestly, I didn't believe the police would be able to make any charge stick

whatever their suspicions.

I'm ashamed, Mr Boone. I'm sorry.

It's all right, Major.

It's just on top of their list.

You can put me in the clear.

Or I can, although it's better coming from you.

Yes, yes, you're right.

Thank you for that, Mr Boone.

Oh, hello.

Detective Inspector Thomas, please.

Major Hopkinson.

You seem like such a nice man.

What do you think will happen to him?

He'll be all right, cases like that.

First offence.

I hope so.

I'm the one who's got the real problems.

Potless and cumpless.

Yeah. Well, at least you didn't get locked up.

True.

Now then, boys and girls.

Hey, what the bloody hell's all this? You look as though you've been given a

life sentence.

I feel like I have, Harry.

Yeah, well, get some of this inside you.

What's all this in aid of, Harry? This, Doreen, is to celebrate the great good

fortune of my good friend, Kerry. Oh, come on, Harry, don't try and cheer me

I'm a ruined man.

Yes, well, you know, the other day, before the law took you away... Oh, will

ever forget it?

Yes, well, I told you I had some good news and some better news. Yeah, come

get on with it. Yes, well, the good news is that I won fifth prize in the

brigade raffle.

And guess what?

A bottle of bubbly?

No, a bloody toaster.

Now I've got two of them.

Well, that'll be pleased.

Yes, but wait a minute now. The better news is that you have won first prize.

I don't believe it. Holiday for two on the cost of packing.

Ken! Hey, no, but hang on.

Now, you couldn't afford to leave your place at the moment, could you, the way

things are?

No, it's true. I'd be bloody suicide.

£546, mate.

All yours.

Mine?

Yes, well, the holiday was valued at £700.

Now, I took the liberty of doing a deal with an old mate of mine, and I sold him

the holiday a bit cheaper.

£600. Now, I hope I did the right thing.

You little beauty.

Wait a minute, Harry.

If you sold the holiday for £600...

I make him 54 quid, sure.

Oh, bloody accountant.

42 pound 20 bar tab. The odd five are here, the odd ten are there. Plus this

bottle of champagne.

Wonderful, isn't he?

A page.

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