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1
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Of course I'm all wet.
2
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:04,620
Been raining for three solid days,
hasn't it? Let me help you.
3
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,040
Did you have a good day?
4
00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:08,230
Shocking.
5
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:10,080
Oh. Hello, Dad.
6
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,540
What's he getting out of the way for?
7
00:01:14,780 --> 00:01:17,140
What kind of a shocking day did you
have, Sid?
8
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Shocking. Oh, dear.
9
00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:20,620
What do you mean, oh, dear?
10
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Well... There's a big damp patch on the
carpet, and I rang all the local
11
00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:26,769
plumbers, and they're all busy.
12
00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:30,169
So I rang the water board, and they
can't come till tomorrow. And it's
13
00:01:30,170 --> 00:01:32,910
worse, and I didn't do it. You didn't do
it?
14
00:01:33,490 --> 00:01:34,870
No. Well, it's all right then.
15
00:01:35,730 --> 00:01:37,110
Don't worry about it. Hello,
16
00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:40,900
Daddy. It's lucky you're home. Seems to
be getting worse.
17
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:44,170
That's all right. It's not too bad.
18
00:01:44,190 --> 00:01:46,420
Just a bit of damp rising after all this
rain.
19
00:01:46,470 --> 00:01:47,520
It'll dry up.
20
00:01:47,630 --> 00:01:48,870
Oh, it's worse, Sid.
21
00:01:48,871 --> 00:01:52,779
There's a trickle of water coming from
behind the skirting board.
22
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:56,459
Trickle? Yes. We asked Mike to look at
it, but he said it was better left to
23
00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:57,940
you. How very wise.
24
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,340
You're not going to start hammering, are
you?
25
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:03,960
No, no, no, no, no.
26
00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:05,900
It's all right. Here we go.
27
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,590
I hope you know what you're doing. Of
course I know what I'm doing.
28
00:02:33,991 --> 00:02:40,879
street for removal vans. But Sid, if the
house gets down, we'll all get
29
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,600
rheumatism. I've got it already.
30
00:02:42,601 --> 00:02:46,399
Yes, Paddy, but we haven't. Yeah, well,
don't worry about it. Just get my tool
31
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,390
kit. I want the puncture out. Where is
it?
32
00:02:51,740 --> 00:02:55,639
I'll just take up a couple of
floorboards, find a leak, put a patch on
33
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,060
ackee round it, and wallop.
34
00:02:57,061 --> 00:03:00,779
Wallop? Yeah. You don't think I was in
the Boy Scouts all those years just
35
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:03,070
taking old ladies across the street, do
you?
36
00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:04,910
There we are.
37
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,190
Looks like it.
38
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:49,439
You know, Daddy, I think you were very
unlucky to find concrete underneath the
39
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:50,490
floor. Very unlucky.
40
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:53,919
There must be an awful lot of pressure
under there to force water up through
41
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,439
concrete. Yes, well, I'm not going to do
anything about it. They can dig it up
42
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:57,539
and find out in the morning.
43
00:03:57,540 --> 00:04:01,179
Well, it's a pity I've got to be up so
early, Dad. Otherwise I would have
44
00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:02,380
here and given you a hand.
45
00:04:02,540 --> 00:04:03,860
It's only to keep you awake.
46
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,620
I think you're a very nice man.
47
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:08,860
Yes, you're smashing, Daddy. Thank you.
48
00:04:08,861 --> 00:04:10,679
And you?
49
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:11,730
You want the truth?
50
00:05:30,421 --> 00:05:35,709
No disrespect, but I do wish people
wouldn't dabble.
51
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:39,380
I have not been dabbling. I've been
stopping the furniture from floating
52
00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:41,810
Let's see what you've got over there.
53
00:05:43,870 --> 00:05:44,920
Oh, dear.
54
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:46,880
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
55
00:05:47,470 --> 00:05:51,050
This looks like a subterranean job. A
subterranean job?
56
00:05:51,470 --> 00:05:54,240
What difference does that make? It could
be very nasty.
57
00:05:54,241 --> 00:05:55,869
You'd better get out your jiffy.
58
00:05:55,870 --> 00:05:57,980
You're not getting your jiffy out
anyway.
59
00:05:59,510 --> 00:06:00,670
I beg your pardon?
60
00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:02,200
No, nothing.
61
00:06:02,201 --> 00:06:04,699
All you've got to do is dig up the
concrete and find a leak.
62
00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:05,750
No, no, sir.
63
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:09,330
Now, it's a matter of procedure when
you've got a subterranean job.
64
00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:12,850
I mean, I know it looks easy enough, but
we have got to go by the book.
65
00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:17,039
You see, a subterranean job is a
subterranean job, and that's to be
66
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,090
a subterranean job.
67
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,580
Because if it isn't treated like a...
Like a subterranean job. Exactly.
68
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,280
You can find yourself in a right old
mess.
69
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,440
What would you call this, then?
70
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:32,870
What the hell is that?
71
00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:34,060
That's our jiffy.
72
00:06:34,150 --> 00:06:35,200
Oh, I see.
73
00:06:35,201 --> 00:06:38,049
You're not putting that thing up in
here, are you? Well, I have to.
74
00:06:38,050 --> 00:06:39,009
It's the rules.
75
00:06:39,010 --> 00:06:40,530
But it's not raining in here.
76
00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:44,710
Right. Well, just a matter of the rain.
It's to discourage onlookers.
77
00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:46,850
What onlookers? You, for a start.
78
00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:51,069
I am not an onlooker, mate. This is my
bleeding house. Mr. Abbott, when it
79
00:06:51,070 --> 00:06:55,790
to a subterranean job, I promise you I
won't look. Oh, yeah.
80
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,329
Yeah, we've heard that before.
81
00:06:57,330 --> 00:07:00,490
And there you are, five minutes later,
peeping down our hole.
82
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,560
So, if you don't mind.
83
00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:05,300
All right, don't push.
84
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,090
Josh.
85
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,170
Come on up.
86
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,580
Steve, is it all right for me to come
in? Yes.
87
00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:19,110
No.
88
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:20,970
Who is it?
89
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,130
My wife.
90
00:07:30,541 --> 00:07:34,259
If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.
91
00:07:34,260 --> 00:07:35,239
Try me.
92
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,279
Good morning, madam.
93
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:40,139
We're from the water board. We've come
to clear up your little problem. Oh,
94
00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:41,620
good. How long will you be?
95
00:07:41,621 --> 00:07:43,819
Well, it depends on what we find
underneath.
96
00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:46,639
But don't you worry about it. I mean,
we'll just get organised.
97
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,020
We'll have a quick tea break.
98
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,090
Then we get cracking.
99
00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:50,670
Tea break?
100
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,840
You haven't done a bloody thing yet.
101
00:07:52,841 --> 00:07:57,139
I'll put the kettle on. Oh, no, no, no,
no. Don't you bother about us, madam.
102
00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:58,240
We brew our own.
103
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,860
Charles here prefers China tea. He likes
the fragrance.
104
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,460
It looks like he could do with it.
105
00:08:04,461 --> 00:08:08,839
Would you like a cup of tea, darling?
No, it's all right. Come down to bed.
106
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:09,890
All right.
107
00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:13,440
Whatever you do, don't touch his jiffy.
108
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,220
I'll bet he would. All he did was look.
109
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,950
Anyway, that's fixed. All ready for
tonight.
110
00:08:56,140 --> 00:08:57,190
Ta -ta.
111
00:08:57,940 --> 00:08:59,620
What shall we make him for his tea?
112
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:00,970
Oh, I don't know.
113
00:09:00,971 --> 00:09:04,699
He'll probably come galloping down the
stairs with an appetite like a horse.
114
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:06,700
He recovers very quickly, your father.
115
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:13,870
Hello, darling.
116
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,540
What happened to all the banging then?
117
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,410
Bouncing up and down in that blistered
bed all afternoon.
118
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,200
So they've gone out to get a second
opinion.
119
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:27,840
I'll make you a cup of tea.
120
00:09:27,841 --> 00:09:28,779
Thank you.
121
00:09:28,780 --> 00:09:29,830
Yes, in there.
122
00:09:30,140 --> 00:09:31,190
Hello, Trevor.
123
00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:32,880
How are you?
124
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,480
So you bought yourself a new tent?
125
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,380
It's the water boy.
126
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:38,850
Is it?
127
00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:40,800
I've never heard of that model before.
128
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,160
Hey, it is a nice one, Sid.
129
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:45,900
But it won't sleep full.
130
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:49,520
Trevor. Yeah? Do you want something?
131
00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:52,279
No, I just popped round for the cheery
word.
132
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,959
Well, if the cheery word is, am I going
to meet you in the boozer later, the
133
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,010
answer is yes.
134
00:09:56,011 --> 00:09:57,219
Usual time?
135
00:09:57,220 --> 00:09:58,720
Earlier. See you there.
136
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:00,950
Get out.
137
00:10:06,241 --> 00:10:08,279
Afternoon, Mr Abbott.
138
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,560
Have a good kip? No.
139
00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:12,800
I've brought the inspector with me.
140
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,500
Ah. You're going to need a bigger jiffy.
141
00:10:17,511 --> 00:10:19,389
Yes, sir.
142
00:10:19,390 --> 00:10:20,830
It's right through here, sir.
143
00:10:20,831 --> 00:10:22,609
Here it is.
144
00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:23,750
Good afternoon, madam.
145
00:10:24,030 --> 00:10:25,080
Afternoon.
146
00:10:30,170 --> 00:10:32,630
Your report said it was nasty.
147
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:33,569
Yes, sir.
148
00:10:33,570 --> 00:10:35,070
I'd say it was very nasty.
149
00:10:35,410 --> 00:10:36,529
Well, to
150
00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:44,110
me,
151
00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:48,370
it looks like... Yes, I thought that.
152
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:54,380
Until I saw the... Yes, I spotted that.
153
00:10:55,480 --> 00:11:00,020
I considered it rather strange, because
the... Wasn't there.
154
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,290
Exactly.
155
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,280
I'd rather look at the map, then.
156
00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,560
Well, I can't seem to find it.
157
00:11:15,580 --> 00:11:17,360
What was this house built, sir?
158
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:23,060
At 19 .30. Oh, well, that's it. That
explains it, sir, this match. 18 .30.
159
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,020
You keep up with the times, don't you?
160
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,900
Hang on, hang on. There's something
here.
161
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,170
What?
162
00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:32,470
Potter's Well.
163
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:34,690
Potter's Well?
164
00:11:34,691 --> 00:11:39,039
That's it. That's what you've got down
there, sir.
165
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,090
Potter's Well.
166
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,670
You mean one of those things you put a
bucket down and... That's right.
167
00:11:43,671 --> 00:11:47,529
Well, what the hell are you doing under
my floorboard? Somebody just happened to
168
00:11:47,530 --> 00:11:49,760
have built your house on the wrong spot,
sir.
169
00:11:49,761 --> 00:11:53,309
Oh, Sid, we will have to move. No, no,
it's all right, it's all right, it's all
170
00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:56,529
right. You can fill it in, can't you?
Oh, no, that's not our job, sir.
171
00:11:56,530 --> 00:11:59,329
Mind you, we'll have to check that it
doesn't get mixed up with our water
172
00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:03,249
supply. And I think we'll need some
extra equipment in here, Geoffrey. Extra
173
00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:06,969
equipment? That's right, you'd better
get hold of an AG -54, and I think we'd
174
00:12:06,970 --> 00:12:08,870
better have a JK -91 on standby.
175
00:12:08,871 --> 00:12:10,169
Right, sir.
176
00:12:10,170 --> 00:12:11,220
Lovely.
177
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,350
You've got a right P .F. here to start
with.
178
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,220
Don't worry, Mr. Abbott. You'll soon be
as dry as a bone.
179
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:20,980
Not where I'm going, mate.
180
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,380
So, what is a JK -91, you see?
181
00:12:26,381 --> 00:12:27,879
I'm an apprentice, aren't I?
182
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,620
I just walked out and left them to it.
183
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:33,300
Well, I've got a spanner that's a BJ
-42A, if ever you need it.
184
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,440
I'll keep it in mind.
185
00:12:37,441 --> 00:12:41,999
All I know is I just spent a fortune
getting my roof fixed. Now it's coming
186
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,620
through the bloody floorboards.
187
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,650
Well, I don't understand it, Sid. It's a
mystery to me.
188
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,990
Still, I suppose a well could come in
handy if ever there's a water shortage.
189
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:52,170
Oh, Trevor.
190
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,180
How long's it going to take?
191
00:12:54,181 --> 00:12:56,719
Well, now the rain's stopped. Perhaps
it'll dry up.
192
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,010
And what happens if it starts raining
again?
193
00:12:59,140 --> 00:13:01,040
I'll borrow your BJ42A.
194
00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:59,519
You might like a bite to eat.
195
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:00,780
Oh, I couldn't eat a thing.
196
00:14:00,781 --> 00:14:03,859
Well, you're not feeling ill, are you?
No, no, I feel fine.
197
00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:06,090
I just keep getting these strange
feelings.
198
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,080
What kind of strange feelings?
199
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:11,059
Well, I suppose it's because you and I
aren't seeing as much of each other as
200
00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:11,799
have been.
201
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:18,639
You know, I mean... When I'm asleep,
you're awake, and when you're awake, I'm
202
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,690
asleep.
203
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,740
I think my time lapse has gone poofy.
204
00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:24,910
Your time lapse?
205
00:14:24,911 --> 00:14:26,159
Yes.
206
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,519
I mean, one half of me thinks it's three
o 'clock in the afternoon.
207
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,320
The other half thinks it's midnight.
208
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,100
And the midnight bit is winning.
209
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:41,420
So, uh... Why don't you put the tray
down and hop into bed?
210
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:44,520
Oh, Sid, I've just had my dinner.
211
00:14:47,051 --> 00:14:48,999
Never mind.
212
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,220
It could be afters.
213
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:56,460
I'm not silly at all, come on.
214
00:14:56,540 --> 00:14:57,820
We'll talk about it later.
215
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,410
And another thing, you forgot my
birthday.
216
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,080
That was last week.
217
00:15:02,380 --> 00:15:03,580
That's what I'm on about.
218
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,890
Look, do you want this or don't you? No,
no, no.
219
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,260
I might as well get up.
220
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:20,960
How is he?
221
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:22,720
He wouldn't eat his dinner.
222
00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:24,729
But he's much better than we expected.
223
00:15:24,730 --> 00:15:26,350
Oh, well, that's all right, then.
224
00:15:26,530 --> 00:15:28,270
Was there anything else he wanted?
225
00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:29,600
No,
226
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,080
dear, only his arses.
227
00:15:33,081 --> 00:15:38,329
Oh, well, Mummy, I'll get some trifle in
the fridge. Oh, no, no, never mind,
228
00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:39,329
dear.
229
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:41,530
You know, he's lucky he went in feet
first.
230
00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,190
How did he manage that?
231
00:15:43,191 --> 00:15:47,429
Well, you know how he picks his legs up
when he's creeping in late at night?
232
00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:50,030
Yeah. Well, he must have stepped over
the edge.
233
00:15:50,470 --> 00:15:52,700
I think he's lucky he didn't go in head
first.
234
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,500
He wasn't that lucky. The water went up
to his collar.
235
00:15:55,890 --> 00:15:58,300
He'll be down in a minute, so don't say
anything.
236
00:16:00,190 --> 00:16:01,240
All right, I'm here.
237
00:16:04,041 --> 00:16:06,069
How do you do?
238
00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:07,089
Mr Abbott?
239
00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:07,729
That's right.
240
00:16:07,730 --> 00:16:08,780
Well, I think so, yes.
241
00:16:09,030 --> 00:16:10,410
My name is Miss Plummer.
242
00:16:10,610 --> 00:16:13,190
I wonder if I could have a sample of
your water.
243
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:32,940
Did you send for the doctor?
244
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:37,000
No. Come in, come in. Thank you. Just go
straight through.
245
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:38,750
Ah,
246
00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:41,080
good afternoon.
247
00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:46,040
I am Miss Plubber, and I am from the
local archaeological society.
248
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:50,899
The water board informed us that they
had discovered an old well on your
249
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:55,679
premises. Oh, yes, it's in here. I just
wondered if I might look at it and
250
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,380
possibly take a sample of the water in
the well.
251
00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,860
Oh, that water.
252
00:17:01,491 --> 00:17:03,379
Yes, of course.
253
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:04,920
Gosh, thank you.
254
00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:11,099
You'll find it's quite... Ah, yes.
255
00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:15,780
I see they're using a JK -91.
256
00:17:15,980 --> 00:17:17,220
How wise.
257
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:18,859
Are they? Oh, yes.
258
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:24,680
You surprised me. Of course, some people
think you can get away with an AG -54,
259
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:29,540
but they soon find out you're better off
with a JK -91 or an RT -38.
260
00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:31,320
That's true.
261
00:17:32,270 --> 00:17:34,910
Well, if you'll excuse me, I must pee
out.
262
00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:37,600
Pee out?
263
00:17:37,650 --> 00:17:38,700
Yes.
264
00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:40,320
Push off.
265
00:17:41,650 --> 00:17:46,130
Oh, yes, you carry on. Don't worry about
little me. I shall be lovely.
266
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:47,349
Oh, yes.
267
00:17:47,350 --> 00:17:48,630
I can see that, yes.
268
00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:51,830
I'll make you a cup of tea soon. Right
-o.
269
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:57,990
She seems a nice lady, Sid. Oh, yes.
Very sexy, too.
270
00:17:58,690 --> 00:17:59,950
Who said it's that much?
271
00:17:59,951 --> 00:18:04,129
look at the wealth. And if she likes it,
she's going to buy the house.
272
00:18:04,130 --> 00:18:05,180
Really?
273
00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:08,170
Who's that with her head down the well?
274
00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:10,620
That's Miss Plummer.
275
00:18:10,621 --> 00:18:14,069
She's come to take a sample of your
father's wealth. All right, all right,
276
00:18:14,070 --> 00:18:15,120
right.
277
00:18:16,630 --> 00:18:17,680
Isn't he bad enough?
278
00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:22,790
Are you all right? Oh, yes, yes.
279
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:24,950
It's all terribly exciting.
280
00:18:25,290 --> 00:18:27,290
The local society will be thrilled.
281
00:18:27,291 --> 00:18:28,449
You know why?
282
00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:30,770
Well, you know what it is, don't you?
Yeah.
283
00:18:31,150 --> 00:18:32,200
Bloody nuisance.
284
00:18:32,270 --> 00:18:34,370
Tea. Only teas, isn't it?
285
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:39,450
It is the only local example of a 4th
century Roman well.
286
00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:42,110
Roman? 4th century?
287
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:45,390
Oh, yes, yes. We knew there should be at
least one in the area.
288
00:18:46,050 --> 00:18:49,829
And once we have the water analysed, I
think we will find it has remained
289
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:53,050
untouched for the last 1 ,600 years.
290
00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:59,209
1 ,600 years? Oh, yes, yes. The water
could contain marvellous properties, you
291
00:18:59,210 --> 00:19:00,390
know, full of minerals.
292
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,050
Go on.
293
00:19:02,051 --> 00:19:04,679
You mean the stuff that puts ears on
your chest?
294
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:05,899
Something like that, yeah.
295
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:08,379
Well, help yourself to a bucket full of
my food coming in.
296
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:12,720
Would you like your tea now? Oh, no, no.
297
00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:13,990
Far too excited.
298
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,140
No, no. I must get back and report.
299
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,630
Oh, I'll see you out there. Oh, thank
you.
300
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,020
Well, goodbye.
301
00:19:20,021 --> 00:19:20,999
Ta -ra.
302
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,980
You know, it's a strange world.
303
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,220
If it hadn't been for Julius Caesar, we
would never...
304
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,240
He's got a lot to answer for.
305
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:41,660
Oh, come in.
306
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:43,350
Steve!
307
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,900
It's the gentleman from the waterboard.
308
00:19:46,180 --> 00:19:47,230
Damn it. Hi, sir.
309
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:48,680
What time is it?
310
00:19:48,681 --> 00:19:50,079
Six o 'clock.
311
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:51,130
Well, in the morning.
312
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:53,110
No, afternoon.
313
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,610
We're sorry we're a bit late, sir, but
we had a few emergencies.
314
00:19:57,950 --> 00:20:01,050
Well, we just thought we'd check before
we took the gear away.
315
00:20:01,051 --> 00:20:02,069
Yes, help yourself.
316
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:02,749
Go on.
317
00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:03,800
I'll get it.
318
00:20:04,630 --> 00:20:08,450
Yeah. Yeah, I think you'll find that
that well is just about dried out now,
319
00:20:08,451 --> 00:20:11,229
Well, if you've got to clear your gear
away, you don't mind if I have a little
320
00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:12,229
tip in peace?
321
00:20:12,230 --> 00:20:15,660
No, no, no. You go ahead, sir. Don't you
worry about us. You're very kind.
322
00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:19,750
Yeah. Now, J .K. 91's worked a treat,
sir. Oh, I knew it would, yes.
323
00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:21,530
Sid, that was Miss Plummer.
324
00:20:21,531 --> 00:20:26,079
Now, she says that she'd like to bring
round some ladies from the local society
325
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,860
to take a sample from the well.
326
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,270
Well, I'll have to be quick. It's drying
up.
327
00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:31,800
Well, how's everything?
328
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:33,080
Oh, lovely. Just lovely.
329
00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:38,679
If you see a lot of local ladies walking
around with hairy chests, pretend not
330
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:39,730
to know.
331
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:47,280
So, what's this Miss Plummer like?
She'll make somebody a very good
332
00:20:47,281 --> 00:20:53,179
Well, I don't know how you've put up
with it. You've been a real martyr, Sid.
333
00:20:53,180 --> 00:20:54,979
You've got to take it in your stride,
haven't you?
334
00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:55,879
Yeah.
335
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:59,279
Still, it's not everybody who's got a
Roman well under the floorboards.
336
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,200
I mean, it's a bit of history, isn't it?
337
00:21:01,211 --> 00:21:03,279
You're right.
338
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,760
It is history, you know that?
339
00:21:05,340 --> 00:21:09,499
I wouldn't be surprised if Julius Caesar
didn't stop off at our place for a
340
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:12,690
quick flag and a water before he went to
the Battle of Trafalgar.
341
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,600
Did she actually have a party with you?
342
00:21:15,820 --> 00:21:17,260
I don't think she drank water.
343
00:21:17,540 --> 00:21:18,590
She was all right.
344
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,120
Bungee. Was she? Yes.
345
00:21:20,121 --> 00:21:24,119
Look, if you put up a board, I bet
there's a lot of people who'd be willing
346
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:25,920
pay money to see something like that.
347
00:21:25,921 --> 00:21:26,779
Get away.
348
00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:27,830
Yeah.
349
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,000
You mean put up a sign saying, uh,
350
00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:35,360
see where Caesar and Cleopatra stop for
a quick one.
351
00:21:36,820 --> 00:21:38,240
She'd make a fortune, see.
352
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:40,350
I don't think so, no.
353
00:21:40,351 --> 00:21:44,359
Well, you could make it the wishing
well. Get the people to throw the loose
354
00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:45,410
changing.
355
00:21:46,730 --> 00:21:48,010
Now, that is a good idea.
356
00:21:48,670 --> 00:21:49,720
That's good, that.
357
00:21:50,050 --> 00:21:52,100
We just need a bit of a gimmick, don't
we?
358
00:21:52,370 --> 00:21:54,550
Ah, a big sign right across the well.
359
00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:59,390
This is the well for all to see where
Caesar quenched his thirst.
360
00:21:59,790 --> 00:22:03,590
And Cleopatra plunged her love because
she thought she was the first.
361
00:22:05,710 --> 00:22:07,010
I like that.
362
00:22:07,270 --> 00:22:08,650
It's got a touch of virility.
363
00:22:08,710 --> 00:22:09,760
Yes, it does.
364
00:22:09,970 --> 00:22:11,590
Eric, two more scotches, please.
365
00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:25,549
And then she and Cleopatra turned around
to him and said, we don't care if you
366
00:22:25,550 --> 00:22:29,040
are the king of the bloody Trojans,
you're not sleeping in the middle.
367
00:22:30,970 --> 00:22:35,690
No, no, it's not too late to come
around. No, no, I've already found the
368
00:22:36,010 --> 00:22:37,110
Lovely. Yes.
369
00:22:38,450 --> 00:22:39,500
What others?
370
00:22:44,811 --> 00:22:50,519
you've come home? You mean you found
some more wet patches?
371
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:51,570
And you told her?
372
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:56,040
Amen, Mr. Abbott. Oh, yes, sir.
373
00:22:56,090 --> 00:23:00,640
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