Original subtitles

Name, Sidney Abbott.

Age, 40 -ish.

Is that me bothering you?

Now, what made you think that?

You've already watched that lot once.

Are you spying on me?

Why should I want to spy on you?

I never even think of watching what you're doing.

What you're doing is your own business. It doesn't even occur to me to watch

what you're doing.

Well, I'm not doing anything very important, am I?

You are.

You're filling in your membership form for the Anglers Club.

So that's what's upsetting you.

No, it isn't.

I'm very happy that you live a full and exciting life.

It's important to a human being.

I mean, where would I be without that daily mountain of dishes to wash and

exciting trip to the supermarket every day?

Do me a favour. I've got a shock in my neck. I've hardly slept at all last

night. Neither have I.

You must have been having one of your fishing trip dreams.

You spent the entire night trying to haul me in.

Ah, yes.

I remember.

I caught a salmon.

That long and that thick.

that I'm fat.

Blimey, you know I can't cope with you when you start behaving like a woman.

Well, I am a woman.

A big, fat, married woman.

You're not. You're slim and you're beautiful and you're my wife.

Oh, Sid, I found an extra line under my eyes this morning.

Well, lines don't mean a thing.

They do. They mean that you're getting old.

I haven't got long to go, then, have I?

Sid, I found a grey hair, too.

Probably one of mine. I must have left it on the pillar.

It's not funny, Sid.

It's frightening when you see all your youth and beauty slipping away.

I wouldn't know.

Mine didn't slip away. I got up one morning and it fell in a heap on the

It's different for men. Men don't have to be beautiful. They can be rugged.

But men don't like rugged women.

Some of us do.

Thank you.

Come in there, let's have a chat.

We can't, Mike's in there with his girlfriend.

Well, they can get out of there, they can go in the garage, come on.

It is a romantic city, he said.

She smiled.

As they left the gallery hand in hand, they smiled into each other's eyes.

Oh, Mike.

They stopped under a cloud of spring blossom.

He stepped back. to look at her.

He reached out for her and put his hands round her scratchy neck and shook her.

Oh, my. Oh, God.

Oi.

Oi.

Hello, Dad.

Hello.

Hello.

Tell her I said hello.

If you don't mind, your mother and I would like the sofa.

What do you want to do with it?

We don't want to do anything with it. We want to sit on it.

Will you kindly pass that message on?

Liz.

Yes, Mike.

Mum and Dad want the sofa.

Yes, Mike.

We'd better split.

Yes, Mike.

See you both.

Yes, Mike.

I'm not surprised you keep thinking about her before she can say, yes, mine.

I think the way they were gazing at each other was very romantic.

They were gazing at each other with their eyes shut.

We used to be like that once.

What do you mean once? We still are.

The only time you gaze at me now is when you come home from the hare and hounds.

And that's only because you're trying to figure out who I am.

Sit down, darling. Sit down. Put it there.

Now, you have always said a man should have a full life, right?

Well, here I am.

I've got my hair announced, my job, my family, my occasional fishing trip.

Occasional? You spend half your life catching fish.

The other half drinking like one.

Oh, that's nice.

Thank you very much. That's a lovely thing to say to a man who's devoted his

entire life to his happy marriage. I've never even looked at another woman.

What? about Gladys Dilling. I mean, I've been loyal and faithful and a hundred

percent... You fancy Gladys Dilling. And it doesn't matter how many temptations

I've been put in my way... You bought a box of chocolates for Gladys Dilling. I

just plod on with a completely clear conscience. I did not buy a box of

chocolates for Gladys Dilling.

We just happened to be in the same shop together, that's all. She chose a box of

chocolates and me being the gentleman, I paid for them. And that is not buying a

box of chocolates for somebody who was paying for the box of chocolates that

we're going to buy anyway.

You're shouting again.

I am...

I thought, blimey, it's the third dip they're going to have.

Oh, that was my favourite cup.

How can it be your favourite cup if it was a saucer?

Well, whatever it is, it's my favourite.

All right, come here. Come here.

Now, I'm your husband, aren't I?

Now, if you've got anything wrong, the only person you should tell is me,

What is it?

No, it's about our marriage.

What about our marriage?

I don't like it.

Hello, you two.

I just want to make myself a sandwich. Would you mind hurrying up? Your mother

and I are having a private talk.

Don't mind me, Daddy. Just carry on.

We can't carry on. It's private.

I won't look.

There's nothing to look at. We're just going to talk.

Oh, that's nice.

I mean, not many married people do that nowadays, do they?

Once you're married, there's nothing to talk about, really, is there?

There's plenty to talk about. It's just a matter of finding somewhere to do it,

that's all.

There's plenty of places, Daddy. You've got the whole house. We have not got the

whole house.

Not with you and Mike and lovesick Lizzie.

The bathroom's empty.

So is the grass verge. We'd rather talk in here. Goodbye.

But, Daddy, I haven't got anything in my sandwich.

Hang on.

Finish what you were saying.

I finished.

Oh, you were talking about our marriage.

That's right.

What's wrong with it?

Well, it's just that all the romance has gone out of it.

I want to feel excited again.

You mean I don't excite you anymore?

Oh, darling, don't take it like that.

I just want to recapture what we had.

All those lovely days when we used to run towards each other in the park. Do

remember?

That was 20 years ago. I could run then.

And Steve, you used to hide behind a tree and then jump out on me?

If I hide behind a tree and jump out on you now, I get arrested.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life being an ordinary wife with an

ordinary husband.

I want a lover.

Who is he? I'll kill you.

No, I don't mean someone else. I mean you.

You. Oh, God. Blimey issues.

borrow anything. I just wondered if you wanted anything from the shops.

Oh, no, thank you, dear.

I'm having mine delivered today.

Oh, I need you.

Trevor forgot to leave me any money this morning, so I don't suppose you could

lend me some, could you?

Yes, of course.

Of course, if you could let me have half a margarine and a packet of cornflakes,

I wouldn't need to borrow anything.

Hello, sir.

When did you come in?

Jean and I are having a private talk.

That's nice, isn't it?

Married people don't often do that, do they?

After all, there's not much to talk about after you're married, except

As I was saying, just in case you didn't hear me, Jean and I are having a

private talk.

Very single -minded, you see, didn't he?

Doesn't mix business with a cup of tea.

Oh, thank you.

How thoughtless of me. Oh,

God, blimey, not another one.

Charles was the first one.

Come in. Morning, Mrs Abbott.

Morning, Charles.

Morning, Mr Abbott. Good morning. Now, what about next week, Mrs Abbott? Yes.

Would you mind going over there and sitting down?

Now, Charlie, I know you're a very understanding fellow.

My wife and I were just trying to have a little private talk, so would you mind

coming back later?

Morning, Mrs Abbott.

Morning, Charles.

Morning, Mr Rabbit. Morning, Charles.

You do a quick turnover in this house, don't you?

Well, I'd better be going.

Oh, I haven't made Betty a tea. All right, I'll do it. Sit down.

Excuse me.

How did Trevor manage?

bother, Jean.

It only takes your Sid and a cup of cold tea to let me know when I'm not wanted.

You were saying?

Well, I was saying that I don't want to be a wife. I want to be a lover.

Because lovers are more romantic.

Yes. You want to be romantic?

We'll be romantic.

And lovers are foolish.

They do silly things.

But they don't do mundane things.

Yes? Mundane things like washing up and ironing shirts.

leave each other.

You're dead right.

There you go, Mum.

Dad sent you that.

Oh, Mike, I had my lunch an hour ago.

Well, it's nothing to do with me, is it? It's his idea.

Daddy said this.

How nice.

He got it from his garden.

Just as well it would have got in eventually.

Here we are.

Dessert. Oh, lovely cake. Put them back.

Why? Put some back.

The kitchen's in there.

But there's nothing in the kitchen, Daddy. It's all on Mummy's tray.

Get yourself an ice cube out the fridge. Come on, Dad.

Your mother's been looking after us for years and years. Now, don't tend to look

after her. What would you do if she wasn't here?

I'd be digging into those cakes. Dig around you.

See that?

See how selfish I am? I mean, you could go tomorrow and all you'd think about

would be, who's going to get custody of the cake?

And she can eat it.

Have a go at these then. Here.

not grateful. It's just that... Well, I have made up my mind.

Would you mind looking this way? I'm trying to gaze at you.

The only way to get the sparkle back into our marriage is to part for a

Now, hang on. Let's just talk. Now, look. I'll go to my mother's.

And after a few days, I'll miss you. And you'll miss me. And then we'll meet in

some little dark cafe.

And you'll beg me to come home. And it'll be like getting married all over

again.

Pretend we're not.

We can't do that. What about Mike and Sally? That means they'll be both... Oh,

this is ridiculous. All these years of happy marriage and all of a sudden we're

the Burton and Taylor of Putney.

What am I going to tell my friends? Tell them nothing. It's our secret.

I'm confused.

So am I.

Now, isn't that romantic?

We must tell the children.

Jean, Jean, hang on.

Jean, just a minute.

Mike, Sally.

What? Please sit down. Your father has something to tell you.

I'll see you later. I'm just going to get some tobacco.

Now, you sit down, too.

You have something to tell the children.

Yes, well, your mother and I, I mean, that is, mostly your mother.

And to a certain extent, me.

But not quite as much as your mother.

We, uh... Well, I, uh... Well, keep going, Dad. I mean, we'll let you

know when you start making sense.

Thank you.

Your father and I are separating.

Daddy, you're not going to get a divorce.

Of course I'm not.

Mummy, you're going to get a divorce.

Oh, don't be stupid. How can she get a divorce if I don't get a divorce?

I mean, your mother and I have lived together happily for years.

And we intend staying that way.

But that's why we're separating.

That's really cool, Dad.

I mean, like, just because you're married to somebody doesn't say you've

be stuck with them.

I am perfectly happy being stuck with your mother.

Stuck with me?

Daddy,

we understand.

People should be parted now and then. It does them good.

It injects intrigue and pathos into a relationship.

We've got quite enough of that with you two in the house.

Life is like a cup of tea, Daddy.

Pardon? And pathos is the sugar in it.

No, dear, you'll have to think of something else. Your father doesn't take

sugar.

Well, that's it, isn't it? I mean, that could be your problem, Dad.

What are you lot talking about?

Sugar gets you going, Daddy. It gives you energy.

Your mother's not complaining about my energy.

Plenty of that.

Gin, please.

Daddy? What? When Mary Clark over the road wanted to leave her husband... Yes?

He kept her by eating boxes of chocolates and sticks of barley sugar.

Get away.

And now they're ever so happy and they've got five kids.

Have you seen him lately?

They're pushing him around in a wheelchair and he's only 27.

Well, you'd better think of something.

Mummy is a woman of today.

won't settle for anything ordinary.

We want a permanent glow on our face and a sparkle in our eye.

Well, why don't you do it like I do? Have a couple of whiskies.

Where are you going?

Sid, you might think it's funny.

I'm going upstairs to pack.

Uh, Jean. Jean.

Jean, just a minute. Come here.

Come here.

How long are you going to be away?

Oh, a very long time.

How long?

Well, at least till next Tuesday.

say your mother's going away for a few days?

Yes. Just a little break, that's all.

Going on her own, is she?

Yes.

I went away for a little break once.

Oh, did you really?

On your own? The baby, the dog and the nappies went with me.

But you and Trevor are very happy, aren't you? I mean, you're not sorry you

married. No, I'm not sorry I got married.

After all, everybody's got to marry someone, haven't they?

I'm just sorry it was him.

That's just a small piece.

I don't think I'll ever get married.

When I fall in love, I think I'll just live in sin.

And if I wake up one morning and find I don't like him, I'll leave.

I often wake up in the morning, look at Trevor, lying there like a great worn

-out bull seal.

Watch me right off.

He just won't stop eating.

Oh, well.

Can't beat them, join them, I say.

Maybe one of these nights we'll crush each other to death.

I'd better be going.

Well, Betty, if you were fed up with your marriage, I mean really fed up,

would you do?

Oh, I think I'd be quite rational about it.

Cry a bit, shout a bit, pack a case, hide his fishing tackle.

I mean...

Now, you will look after your father for me, won't you, Sally? Yes, Mummy.

I've got a whole box of groceries in, so you don't have to worry.

Okay.

Now, he's not used to being on his own, so don't let him forget me.

No, Mummy.

Just in case he does.

Now, what else?

and I run you down there.

Sid, this is a very dramatic moment.

I've packed my case.

I'm leaving a dearly loved one. I don't know when I'll see him again or even

when he'll phone me.

Now, this is the big feature film of my life.

And my hero limps through the door saying, why can't I run you there?

Oh!

What's the matter?

It's all right, don't worry. Nothing to be concerned about. It's just my war

wound, that's all.

As soon as I get upset, it gets all emotional.

How can a war wound get emotional?

Well, it's probably the end of the war.

And when we first met, and all those sad partings.

Your leg's more emotional than the rest of you.

I'll take your cakes down, Mummy. Thank you, dear.

Well, I'll be off.

You sure you're doing the right thing?

Yes, Sid.

No chance you'll change your mind, is there?

No, Sid.

Well, I'll phone you then.

Do you know the number?

Of course I know the bloody number.

It's your mother's, isn't it?

There's no need to shout.

Oh, I'm sorry, it's my leg.

Sid, it's the other leg.

Yeah, well, it moves you back, you know.

Oh, well.

I'll see you then.

Have a good time.

Enjoy yourself.

Have a little flirt, if you want to.

Haste of life.

But just remember that I'll be here.

Here, waiting for you.

And in case there's any emergency or crisis, you'll find the insurance papers

the desk.

Ask when the grocer's is here. He wants to see you for a minute. All right,

dear. Will you stay and listen to your father? He's just got up to the

policies.

Don't worry, Daddy.

It'll be all right.

Oh, blimey, this is ridiculous.

God, blimey, they've been after 23 years of happy marriage and building up a

family. I thought you had a bad leg.

Oh!

Hello,

Mrs Abbott. I forgot your ice cream this morning.

Oh, thank you, Charles. I hadn't noticed.

It'll come in handy for my husband while I'm away.

Oh, uh, you, uh, going away, then?

Yes, just for a few days.

I understand.

Result of those few private words this morning, is it?

Yes.

My husband likes ice cream.

Really?

He likes it with jelly.

You're a very attractive woman, Mrs Abbott, did you know that? Oh.

It's a wonder your husband will allow you to go off on your own.

Well, I'm not exactly going off on my own. I see.

There's somebody else, is there? No.

I mean, uh, my mother.

I'm very good with mothers.

Really? Is it far?

What? Well, I finished my round about 4 .30, and if you, uh, wanted a lift,

shoulder to cry on, what are friends for?

Jean, is it?

Call me Charlie.

Thank you very much for bringing the ice cream, Mr. Charles. Sid!

Sid! Join the ice cream, Mrs. Abbott.

Sid!

Donna, don't tell me you've changed your mind.

I brought you some ice cream.

Who wants ice cream instead of a... Sid!

It's a little parting gift. Thank you very much. Would you kindly answer the

phone? It isn't ringing, Daddy.

It is now.

Why don't we forget all about this nonsense about separating and all that

stay here and have a little romance?

I've gone off romance.

It's a pity because I was just going to propose to you.

Oh, darling.

You see?

The magic's coming back already and I haven't even gone yet. There you are.

Just give it a few more days.

Now, Jane. Jane. Dad.

What? There's a message for you. Who was it? It's your boss.

What's he want?

Mr. Harper's been taken ill.

And he wants you to go to Birmingham.

When? Now.

What for?

For a week.

A week?

Sid, you can't go away for a whole week.

Blimey, it's only seven days.

It'll ruin our marriage.

Yeah, but blimey, this is work, isn't it?

But people drift apart when they're separated.

I thought that's what you wanted.

That's different.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0