All language subtitles for Bless This House s05e02 The Gypsys Warning

Hurry up with the paper, Sid.

Give me another cup of tea, please.

In a minute. I want to read my horoscope
first.

You can't. I'm doing a crossword.

Well, you read it to me, then.

Taurus.

Same load of bull as yesterday. Forget
it.

Oh, please, darling.

A risky time for taking liberties with
the opposite sex.

Oh. So just watch it.

Well, go on. Be especially helpful to
those closest to you.

That means you get me another cup of
tea.

When you've finished reading it. And try
not to get on your partner's wick first

thing in the morning.

Stop messing about.

You don't believe in all this rubbish.

I do if it's true.

That's logical, I suppose.

Yesterday they told me not to speculate,
so I didn't.

Didn't what?

Speculate. Or do the pools, or have a
bet or anything.

But you never do the pools or have a bet
or anything.

I know.

But it's nice to know that if I had, I
wouldn't have won.

Well, go on, darling.

Ah, close partners will be in a
difficult mood this morning.

There you are. I told you it was always
right.

Oh, you are irritable.

I am not irritable. I just want to
finish the crossword, that's all.

Morning, Mum.

Morning, darling.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, seeing one of his moods again?

According to my horoscope, yes. Do you
mind?

Is this going to last all day?

No, only for this morning.

Slow thinking. Slow thinking.

Six letters beginning with S. Oi,
stupid.

I'll thump you.

Six letters beginning with S. Oh, I knew
that.

Morning, Mummy. Morning, darling.

Hello, Daddy.

Mathematical snake.

Five letters ending in R.

Adder.

chance, have I? Oh, Daddy, don't be so
irritable. I'm not being irritable. I'm

just trying to finish my crossword,
that's all.

In peace.

I'll take it to the office and do it
there.

Could I have the paper, then? I want to
check my horoscope.

There. Dad, can I have the pot, please?

Here, that'll suit you better.

Oh, this?

Yes, yes, yes, I know. The woman's page,
yes. Thank you, darling.

Do me a favour.

Give that to the budget.

What is it?

Pigeon racing results.

What about the goldfish?

You know very well they can't read.

Good morning. Can I come in?

No.

That's bad. You want to see him when
there's a full moon.

You're trying to be funny like your
brother. I only flipped round to see if

could borrow your morning paper.

You see, it's our dog.

Trevor's training him to fetch it, but
it didn't work out.

What happened? Did he swallow it? He
keeps chewing it up. It's all in shreds.

We're having the same trouble here.

You haven't got a dog.

No, Sid does, Howard.

He gets overexcited jumping up at the
letterbox.

I warned you.

I only wanted the paper to see what my
horoscope says.

We usually have a morning paper
delivered here, not old Moore's almanac.

I had my fortune told yesterday by a
gypsy, so I wanted to check the

today. What for?

To see if what she told me was true. If
it is, well, it'll confirm it, won't it?

What did the gypsy say, then?

Well, for a start, she said I was going
to have lots of kids.

Well, you better not hang about here,
then.

Because if it does confirm it, you want
to start boiling lots of hot water.

I don't think she... He meant that I was
going to have them today.

Well, when you do have them, I think
you'd better have a word with your old

first.

No laughing matter, Sid.

There's a lot in it. Yeah, a lot of
cudswallop.

It isn't. A gypsy told my great -aunt
Edith that she'd be run over by a car.

Your great -aunt Edith passed away
peacefully in bed at the age of 90.

Yes. And as soon as she was buried, they
built a motorway over the cemetery.

And his stopped dead short of the labour
exchange.

Well, I was just dead lucky, wasn't I,
Dad?

I know my future.

I can just see it. These two pushing me
down to the post office in a wheelchair

to get their hands on my old age
pension.

Oh, don't be ridiculous, Sid. I think
it's very interesting.

I'd love to have my fortune told.

Well, the gypsy's coming back today.
I'll get her to pop round.

Will you?

Hey, Sid, I'm going to have my fortune
told.

She won't come round here to tell you
her fortune. She'll just come round here

to improve her own.

I used to tell fortunes by reading the
tea leaves.

I got quite good at it.

Give it away.

Yeah.

Have a go at mine.

All right.

Very funny.

I know my future. It's full of little
perforations.

Not in a very good mood to do, is he?

It's not his fault, Betty. It's his
horoscope.

Rosie. Hello, darling. Oh,

no, I bet they're not, Sid. I've got to
get home.

Betty's in a right state.

Put one in there, will you? Go on, sir,
you're good.

You know, a blooming old gypsy came
round yesterday, told her fortune.

Oh, no.

You're going to have 18 kids.

I'm not having any more kids. Ready is.
A fortune teller told her. You what?

Make them doubles.

She's coming round to tell Jeans
tomorrow. Hope she doesn't tell her the

thing.

What a load of rubbish it is.

Yeah, well, I don't know, Sid.

I mean, some people have the gift, you
know, to foretell the future.

You're like your missus in a tea leaf,
you are. Well, what about my auntie

Ethel, then?

Yeah, wait a minute. Let's forget it.
Tomorrow's Saturday. Let's go fishing.

Have you seen the weather forecast for
tomorrow?

Heavy rain and thunder.

If they forecast rain, mate, there won't
be a cloud in the sky. There'll be

people tottering about all over the
street suffering from sunstroke.

Yeah? Well, I don't fancy sitting next
to the canal all day getting soaked.

I can see it. I'll catch the big one.

Like that it'll be. I can see it up on
that wall there in a glass case.

Underneath it says, This monster was
caught by Sid Abbott while his mate, the

twit, was sitting at home wrapped up in
a raincoat waiting for it to pour.

Do me a favour, Sid. The only thing
we've ever caught in that canal is an

army boot.

Well, don't mock it. It was a size 12.

You sure, Sally?

Oh, yes.

Daddy mentioned several times this week
that he was thinking of going fishing

tomorrow.

Well, that's what the gypsy meant.

We can't let him go.

But what did she say, Mummy? I mean,
what were her exact words?

Well, we sat here on the sofa and she
read my palm and all those things and

she looked worried.

Beware, she said.

Beware of a loved one having an accident
involving water.

She wouldn't say any more.

Why not?

I hadn't any more silver.

But an accident involving water?

Mummy, there's only one thing that could
mean. You're right.

We've got to beware, as she said.

Your father can't go fishing.

Where's his tackle?

Under the stairs.

But what are you going to do?

Hide it. Where?

In the greenhouse.

But Mummy, he'll be furious.

Yes, but when he realises afterwards
that he hasn't drowned, he'll be very

grateful.

If you won't come with me, I'll go on my
own.

Well, look, if you want company, Sid,
take Rosie.

Rosie? Lovely bit of bait.

I tell you what, if the fish don't bite,
she'll get a nibble there.

Oh, Sally, this is the first time I've
ever saved anybody from drowning. You

might even get a medal for life -saving.

Anybody else?

Oh, you're late, darling.

Yes, well, I got held up. Very heavy
traffic.

In the Heron House?

Thank you, Sherlock Holmes.

As a matter of fact, I just popped in to
pay my dues for the annual outing.

They have... the annual outing two weeks
ago, Daddy.

This, I presume, is your assistant, Dr.
Watson.

Well, Doctor, for your information, I
just popped in to pay the annual dues

next year's outing.

Why?

Why what?

Why?

Oh, why?

Yes, why?

Yeah,

why? Well, because if I pay them early,
then they let me sit up in front with

the driver.

What are all the questions for?

Well, I was worried.

I thought you could have had an accident
or got drow... Got drow?

Yes.

Drowsy. Drowsy?

Mummy was getting worried because...
because your supper's spoiling in the

And you might get drowsy.

Yes. That's it.

Hi, Dutch. Hey, you had quite a session
in there, didn't you?

What is this, MI5?

Where did they have you posted? Behind
the Asperdistra?

No, I was in the back room on the
billiard table.

Ah, I thought you'd find somewhere to
lie down.

Steve! Yes, I'm coming, all right.

What's the matter with you?

We've hidden his fishing tackle.

I don't want to know.

What's this?

I'm sorry...

Yes, I noticed that.

What is it?

Chicken. Oh.

Oh, thank God. I thought you'd cooked
him.

Would you rather have a sandwich,
darling? No, no, no. Just anything

going fishing tomorrow. I want to get my
tackle ready.

Oh. Now what?

Why do you want to go fishing?

To catch fish.

I think it's an absolute waste of time.

Yes, you're probably dead right. Now, if
you don't mind, I'm going to get my

tackle.

I don't want you to go fishing.

Why not?

Well, it's cruel,

isn't it, Sally?

Yes, that's right, Daddy.

How would you like it if someone tried
to catch you by dangling a tasty meal in

front of you?

If it looks anything like what your
mother just dangled in front of me, I'd

no chance.

Well, I don't want to be the daughter of
a fish murderer.

This is ridiculous.

All I'm going to do is sit on the bank
and dangle a worm in the water.

Not really.

Forced to hang about there all by
itself, deep down in that mucky canal.

He can't even swim.

The worm I use can swim ten lengths of
the municipal baths.

Don't be ridiculous. Not only that, when
he gets tired, crawls back up the line,

takes off his swimming trunks and nops
back in the tin.

There is no need to be sarcastic. Will
you excuse me? I don't want to have to

use violence. Thank you very much.

Here we are.

All right.

Where is it?

Where's what?

The fishing rods, hooks, bait tin, nets,
basket.

Would you mind repeating that?

Where is my...

Oi.

You have flogged my fishing tackle.

I haven't touched it.

Isn't that fantastic?

My only son.

Slave for years to work, to earn a
living for him so he can go to school

clothe him, feed him. I do that.

What does he do? He flogs his... Dad, I
haven't touched it.

Now he's telling lies as well.

Mike wouldn't do that. How can you
believe that about a member of your own

family?

All right.

Who did it then?

Me.

What? I hid it.

Where? In your own interest, Sidney
Abbott, I am not going to tell you.

You. In your own interest, Daddy, I am
not going to tell you. Your mother just

said that.

Now then, who's going to... It's all
right.

You don't have to tell me anything.

He'll do anything for money.

A quid.

No, thanks.

A nice, crispy, green winter.

Well, I'll tell you, Dad. It's in the
greenhouse.

Oh, charm.

You were about to weaken.

How could I weaken? I didn't even know
where it was. I was going to work him up

to a fiver.

So it's in the greenhouse, is it?

Sid, I don't want you to go fishing. I
think you'd better tell him about it,

Mummy. Tell him about what?

It was the gypsy.

She told Mummy's fortune and warned her
to stop you going fishing.

Why? Well, she said that a loved one
would be involved in an accident with

water. So I thought, well, she thought
you'd drown.

Give me strength.

We cannot take the chance, Sid.

Now, I'm determined you are not to go
fishing.

And you know what I'm like when I get my
teeth into a bee in my bonnet.

Your teeth into what?

A bee in my... Now, now, forget it.
Forget it.

save you from drowning.

Oh!

Oh,

well, darling, if it'll make you feel
any better.

Oh, darling, I'm glad you see it my way.

Oh, where's Sally's water wings?

Oh, Sid, you're not still going. Of
course I'm going.

All right, then, I'm going too.

So am I. Me too. I mean, let's face it,
the insurance company won't pay out

without an independent witness.

I appreciate being woken up in the
middle of the night for a weather

You know I don't like thunder. It makes
me nervous.

Don't worry, darling.

It's just the angels moving the
furniture about.

Don't be patronising.

It's absolutely pelting down.

The weather forecast said there'd be a
storm.

I know. Trevor told me.

Yes.

I've got it in here under the
bedclothes.

Well, if this keeps up, you won't be
able to go fishing tomorrow.

Oh, Sid.

The ceiling's leaking.

I can't feel anything.

You'll have to get up and do something.
We'll get so...

Might be a loose tile or something.

That's probably what they said about the
Titanic.

What do you want me to do, give orders
to abandon ship?

Do you think there might be a hole in
the roof?

Rising damp.

It's coming from the ceiling.

All right, it's falling damp.

Well, you'll have to get up into the
attic.

hole in the roof, then you can stuff it
with something.

What's a good idea?

What do you suggest, sage and onion?

You'll have to go and see. Go on.

Oh, God, blimey, what a way to spend a
night.

Are you all right up there, darling?

Be careful, it could be dangerous.

Thank you.

If I had any blaster choice, I'd still
be in bed.

Why is Daddy up in the attic?

Oh, nothing much.

He and Mum had a row, separate bedrooms
and all that kind of thing. My!

Go and get an old blanket.

Thank you. Fortunately, there's a hole
in there.

Like I fell through the ceiling.

You did?

I know!

It's all right now, darling. Mike's up
there blocking the hole in the roof.

What with his head?

Now you just relax.

And tomorrow you can have a nice,
peaceful day fishing all on your own.

But, Mummy, what about the gypsy's
warning?

But it's happened, darling.

The loved one having an accident
involving water.

The gypsy was right.

She was not right. She was a bloody day
early.

And my breakfast.

It's half past eleven, darling. I
thought you were going fishing at the

dawn. No, no, no. It's the crack of
noon.

It's a bit early for the fish. They'll
still be half asleep, so will Trevor.

Hello, Chris.

Are you ready, Chris?

Yeah. I'll just have this little rock,
and we'll wait till Mike's finished

cleaning the car.

Would you like a cup of tea, Trevor?
Yes, please. Stick a scotch in it.

What about the jersey there?

Thank you.