All language subtitles for Bless This House s04e02 And They Will Come Home

Now don't look at me while I do this,
you know what happens.

Nobody, you know what happens.

Blessed House, episode 2, VTR number
8806, part 1.

Oh, God, Blimey. It's ridiculous.

What a load of rubbish.

What? There's a picture here of a fellow
posing with a 36 -pound salmon.

Who do they think they're kidding?

It's trick photography.

There's no need to be jealous just
because it took you and Trevor all day

to haul in a tiddler.

That was not a tiddler. That was a very
large trout.

You've never brought home anything that
wouldn't fit on half a round of toast.

Trevor and me caught the biggest fish of
the season last year. Well, I didn't

see it. Oh, naturally you didn't,
because it's mounted on the wall of the

angler's arms.

What did they mount it on? A beer mat?

That was a specimen fish, that was. It
was a cross between a spotted carp and a

blue whale.

There he is, Captain Hornblower.

Ex -artist, ex -sculptor, ex
-photographer.

At least he's trying things out.

He's got to get rid of all that energy
somewhere.

I mean, in your day, you had things like
wars.

Oh, God, Blarney, can you imagine? Him
and his mob in the army, all lined up

there in their T -shirts.

I give in, scrawled across the front.

There they are. They should be out
working.

Hi, Mum. Hi, Dad.

What's it in?

What are you bringing it through here
for? I don't want to get it dirty.

What's going on? What's going on?

Mike and I are in business.

What sort of business?

Buying and selling.

Oh, God, love. You should both be very
pleased.

We got all these things for three pounds
and we've already sold the bike for

five. Yeah, and there's lots more where
this came from. If things keep going the

way they are, we'll need the house as
well as the garage. Come, Sal.

Did you hear that?

The garage, he says.

Do you know what that means? My car's
going to spend another winter out in the

street every night.

Oh, I wish you'd give them some
incentive, Sid.

After all, what have you got to lose?

Only my sanity.

You can get along without that.

They do.

I mean, after all, they're all we've
got.

We've had 24 years of marriage, and
they're the only real things we have to

for it.

Now you've really done it. Now you've
really depressed me.

Isn't Mother Nature wonderful?

Haven't you noticed the way Sally's eyes
glisten when she's pleased?

She gets that from me.

And you must have noticed the way Mike's
shoulder twitches when he's pleased.

Get that from you?

I thought you'd get the glisten and I'd
finish up with the twitch.

You see, that's the magic of children.
They've got us in them.

And we must hang on to them as long as
possible.

And the only way to do that is to try
and understand them.

You're right.

coffee, darling?

Yes, please.

And do you promise to try and be
tolerant with the children?

Of course I will, darling. No matter
what they do? Yes, it doesn't matter.

Oh, Sid, I do love you. Oh, thank you.
Do you mind if I borrow that thing? Oh,

Mike! Look at the mud on your shoes. I
washed this floor today. I wash this

floor every day. I spent my whole life
washing this floor. And when I die, my

goats will wash the floor. Now get out!
Go on, get out!

Would you rather have tea, darling?

Perhaps somebody's lost his parrot or
something. Go to sleep.

Sorry, dear.

Oh. Me?

Would you mind unclapping as you're
strangling me?

Oh, God.

Oh,

God. It's like sleeping with a bull
seal.

And if I can't go to sleep again, I
can't bear it if other people go to

Yes, I've noticed.

Morning!

Service with a smile.

I'm not touching that until I know
what's happened to him.

It's just a nice little gesture for a
nice father who married a nice mother.

had two nice kids.

Yeah, we bought one thing.

What is it?

A big thing.

Which means, of course, Daddy, we'll
make a big profit.

What is it?

It's ruining my garden. Get rid of it.
It's not doing anything, Daddy. It's

sitting there. It's bedded itself down
there. In a week, it'll be bloody stuck

there. Get rid of it.

Daddy, we need somewhere to store our
stuff.

You're stopping us from doing our own
thing. And that thing's stopping my

from doing its own thing. Get rid of it.
Oh, Steve.

I've set my piece. Either that goes or
you go. And when you do go...

and my children bring me breakfast in
bed, that's trouble.

You know what'll happen next?

What? They'll offer to make my lunch,
and before I know where I am, there'll

two dozen bloody cattle out there
grazing on the lawn.

You've got to eat your toast.

Thank you.

I did say, Dad, that one day, with a bit
of luck, I'd become a man.

What is this, Play of the Month?

I think they're trying to say something.

Well, why don't they go ahead and say
it? We don't have this trouble with a

budgie.

Remember what you said, Daddy, about
either the caravan goes or we go?

Yes. Well, we're going.

You mean you're leaving home?

No, Mum, we're just branching out. Just
branching out.

Dad and Sally and me, together we're
just heavy going.

You speak for yourself.

Don't say anything, Dad. We just don't
speak the same language. Let's just

hands and call it a day.

Oh, Sid, the children are leaving us.

Don't cry, Mummy. No, no, don't cry,
darling.

The fledglings always have to leave the
nest. Of course they do. They can't stay

here all their lives. We'll keep in
touch, Mum. Yes, of course I will.

Where are you going?

Oh, I'm moving into the garage.

It's not the same without them somehow.

This house is just not the same.

You're right.

Peaceful.

You may want peace and quiet. I want my
children back.

Morning, Mum.

Good morning, dear.

Hi, Dad.

I've done you two eggs. Oh, thank you.
Are you all right, darling? Are you warm

enough? Yeah, I've got three electric
heaters going. Oh, my God.

Could you, um... Could you give that to
Dad to rent for the garage?

Oh, don't be silly, Mike. Your father
wouldn't dream of taking one.

You can have a hot bath as soon as he's
gone. Thanks, Mum.

Have the morning paper, come.

Everything's my fault.

You don't care, do you? You don't even
miss them.

How can I miss them? They haven't gone
anywhere.

All because there's a caravan in your
silly old garden.

I wouldn't mind, but nothing ever grows
in it. Of course it doesn't. It never

gets a chance, does it?

I mean, Sally has all her barbecues on
it.

And Epstein's been hacking away at a
mountain of rock over there for months.

He's doing something creative.

Creative, is it?

All I know is that out there for 17
weeks it looked like Stonehenge.

What do we finish up with? A little
dwarf, naked.

Just because you can't get with the
times, don't stop your children.

I mean, why don't you put yourself in
their shoes?

Have you seen the height of their shoes?

I need an oxygen mask.

That's right, make jokes.

That's typical of you. Well, just you
listen to me, Sidney Abbott. I like the

kids of today.

And I don't blame them for wanting
things to be different.

And if my kids want to make a living out
of buying and selling, I'm going to do

everything I can to help them succeed.
So there.

And if they do succeed, Mike will get a
flat of his own and Sally will get a

flat of her own.

And I'll be left all by myself with no
one to talk to and no one to laugh with.

Just me.

And me.

And the goldfish.

And me.

And the budgie.

And me, me, you'll have me.

things worse.

Very popular fella, mate.

That's a very difficult thing, Steve.

Bringing up kids these days. How would
you know? You've only been doing it for

three months.

You've got to stick to your principles,
Steve. I mean, it's your own. You pay

for it. You make the rules.

I mean, you'd better be cluttered up our
garden with an old caravan. I'd let her

move into it.

You don't have a toad away.

Very funny, that trip.

It's the only way, isn't it, Sid? I
mean, you've got to show them who's

ain't you?

Thank you, mate.

You just made me come to my final
decision.

Oh, that's too spirited. That's my mate.

Strong, determined, a real man.

I'm leaving home.

There's no need to go that far, Sid.
Don't argue with me. I know what I'm

I'm going to go it alone. I'm going
home, pack my gear, get out of there.

But where are you going, Sid? Don't
worry about me, matey.

I can see to myself.

See?

There.

Note number two.

Oh. That should give them something to
think about.

Now then.

Something to read.

Something to smoke.

Now, what else? Oh, yes.

Something to take my mind off things.

Where do you want me to put these? One
there. One there. Come on. Come on. Get

move on.

Right. We'll have that there.

Just to make dead sure they see those
notes.

Otherwise they'll never even notice I've
gone.

Have you got everything you need, Sid?
Yes.

No, my pyjama's upstairs.

Well, I hope it's a nice place you're
going to. It is. It's very nice. Nice

cosy. Come on.

Look, are you sure you're doing the
right thing, Sid?

I mean, it's a big decision, you know,
leaving home.

Trevor, my kids have been trying to
upset me and I'm not going to stand for

So I'm going to play them at their own
game and upset myself.

A load of things. It's all sorted out,
mate.

How long are you going to be away,
Steve? That depends.

Good luck, Steve.

Thank you.

That's it.

I'm very moved.

Thank you, Steve.

I'll miss you, Steve.

You've been a good mate.

Good night, Jeff.

Good night.

Here's the back door, Steve.

Here's my list of meal times.

Not twice, so that I know it's you. And
don't forget, I ate sardines.

He's probably walking around.

He's Sid, home. I wanted a word with
him.

No, he's at the Hare and Hound.

Well, I've just come from there.

Well, you know how it is with him. You
go in one door, he goes out the other.

Oh.

How's Betty and the baby?

Oh, smashing, thanks.

You're putting on weight, Heather.

Yeah, well, it's all discontentment, you
see.

I mean, I'm very lucky. I've got a
considerate wife and a considerate baby.

mean, a man needs consideration, doesn't
he?

consideration makes a man, well, makes a
man sort of fat.

Thank you.

Would you like some coffee, Trevor? We
were just going to have some.

Oh, yes, please.

What have you got under your cap?

Well, I, um, I thought you'd ask me for
coffee, so, uh, I, uh, bought me own

cake.

I'll make some.

I'll help you.

You, uh, warm in seed slippers, are you?

For God's sake, I'm starving.

You know, I hadn't realised before.

It's a nice house you've got there,
isn't it?

Sort of, um, big.

It's the same as yours.

Oh, is it?

We're a pair of semi -detached.

Isn't that funny? I mean, me not
noticing.

I mean, it must be something to do with
the colour scheme or something.

Yeah, that's it. I remember now.

I mean, your landing's bigger than ours,
isn't it?

Do you mind if I go? that and have a
check.

No, help yourself.

Blimey!

You're like a praying mantis.

in, Trent?

No, Sid. I mean, they're missing me.
They're beginning to respect me, aren't

they? Yes, Sid. And when I do come home,
they'll welcome me with open arms,

won't they? Yes, Sid.

Here, Sid. Yes? What do you fancy?

Cocoa or whiskey?

Cocoa.

that weeps night.

You find some bananas down there, bring
them up. They'll go through the hole.

some Jostics. Mummy and I have cried
ever since you left.

But now you're back, we can be happy
again and all do our own thing. Yes. I'm

going back to the garage.