Original subtitles

Blessed House, 7495, episode 12, take one.

Fifteen seconds.

Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. Look at this.

If I brought home a school report like this, my father would have knocked my

bloomin' head off. Oh, stop moaning, Sid.

It's not such a bad report.

Look at the headmaster's remarks.

A happy, lively girl.

Great. She'll go through life happy, lively and thick.

Do you realise she leaves school in three weeks' time?

This is her passport to a decent, money -making career.

There's only one reason a girl like Sally gets a report like that.

Well?

She must be in love again.

Oh, blimey, look at this. Weak, poor, very weak, very weak, very poor, weak.

You wouldn't think she was a schoolgirl. You'd think she was a chronic invalid.

Take this.

I just made it.

Who'd you make it for, the budgie? Oh, very funny.

Very, very funny. So it's a bit tight. I ran out of material.

You certainly did.

The trousers won't let you sit down and the jacket won't let you stand up.

Oh, stop it, Phil. Oh, it's ridiculous.

The next thing we know, we'll have to buy him a baby bouncer and hang him in

doorway.

Come on, Mum. What do you think?

Oh, I think... It's lovely.

I see you've got a vent.

Yeah. How about that? You've got more vent than jacket.

That's sexy.

Your back's sexy. Have you seen it? All the little knobs up and down your spine.

Looks like you swallowed your beads.

The knobbly spines are in.

Your father's upset because he's just been reading Sally's school report.

Read it. Go on. If you can.

Weak. Poor.

Very weak.

Weak. Poor.

Very poor.

Weak.

Well, at least she's consistent.

I knew I'd get a stupid remark from you. Where is she?

Out. Where's she gone?

Boyfriend's house.

Which boyfriend?

Aubrey.

Aubrey?

Aubrey, how good.

He's very nice.

Apparently they have a lot in common.

Yeah. He's happy, lively and thick as well.

Come on, Dad.

Your hero Winston Churchill, when he was at school, he was always bottom.

Talking about bottoms.

What do you know about this Aubrey blood?

Well, as a matter of fact, Dad, he's got a lot of bread.

In fact, in your language, he's posh. Posh? What kind of posh? Semi -detached

posh? Detached posh? Or Buckingham Palace posh?

Well, he's got the cocktail bar bit.

We've got that.

He's got stereo unfitted carpet.

We've got that.

And a telephone.

Oh, blimey, everybody's got a telephone.

This is all in the car, Dad.

Oh, don't be so stupid.

Nobody's got a car that big.

You're wrong, Sid.

What? The bonnet's just pulled up in front of the house.

It's pulled up in front of everybody's house.

I told you, didn't I?

I can't see anyone.

Oh, I forgot to mention. The seats go down to a double bed.

A double bed?

Phone that car up and tell them they're coming.

How can I phone them? I don't know the number.

Where's my torch?

What are you doing?

I was in the army, remember? I haven't forgotten my Morse code.

See?

It's my duty to protect her. Why isn't she in here?

Because, Dad, once you've been out there, you don't want to come in here.

She's going to come in. I'm going to fetch her. And believe me, mate, she'll

it. I'll tell you something else. If I ever see you go down... Hello, Sal.

Hello.

I'm just going to get a glass of water.

The kitchen's through there, Daddy.

Oh, is it?

Nobody tells me anything.

Hello, dear. Did you have a nice time?

Super.

How super?

Aren't you forgetting something?

I can't stand up.

I'll get it.

He's driving me mad.

Hello?

Mrs. Abbott, please. Just a minute.

Mummy, it's for you.

For me?

Get your feet off the... How many times do I... Hello?

Mrs. Abbott?

Yes? Mrs. Jean Abbott?

Yes? It's been a long time.

Has it?

Well, I'm not my age.

Who is this?

You wouldn't think you had a grown -up family.

Well, they're not all that grown up.

And Mike's the eldest. He's, uh, 12.

And then Sally, she's nine.

She's a big girl for nine.

Is she?

How do you know?

I'm Aubrey's father, Jack Morgan.

Jack Morgan?

That's right.

The boy I was engaged to in 19, uh, although... years ago.

You do remember.

Well, of course I remember. That was a lovely fortnight.

Would you like to have dinner with me one night?

Oh, what about Mrs. Morgan?

Mrs. Morgan is now Mrs. Marshall.

She married an oil man and lives in Texas.

Tomorrow night?

Oh, no. On Thursday nights, I always clean out the budgie.

I'm not taking no for an answer. I'm going to book a table at the Carlton

for eight o 'clock.

You're going to be there.

Oh, no, I... Go and see you tomorrow, then.

I can't do that.

Can I?

Who was it? Jack Morgan.

Who's Jack Morgan?

It's his father.

Whose father?

mother will ring next to tell her she's his mother.

Well, that would be difficult.

She's now Mrs. Marshall, and she lives in Texas.

Oh.

He's divorced, is he?

Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Oh, but he is, yeah.

Why didn't he ask for me? I suppose you told him we were divorced.

Oh, Sid, really, making all this fuss.

Anyone would think you were jealous.

But why don't you go upstairs and talk to your daughter about her report?

Jealous? What am I going to be jealous about?

He's only rich and free.

And rich and free.

Come in, Daddy.

I know what you want, Daddy. You want to know why my report is bad, don't you?

Sit down, Daddy.

Thank you.

Well, there's a very good reason for it.

And what is the good reason?

My work is bad.

Well, that's the end of that conversation, isn't it? The truth is,

Aubrey just before the exam.

Well, you can remember what it's like being in love, can't you?

Yes, I can, just.

Well, I know it'll pass.

Yes. I mean, I've been in love before.

Several times.

One day I'll meet an ordinary boy who's nothing special to look at, with no

money and baggy pants, and I'll marry him.

Good. Just like Mummy did.

I am not ordinary.

I'm extraordinary.

Of course you are, Daddy.

Thank you. Now then, what about Aubrey's dad? Is he good looking?

Very.

Better looking than me?

Yes, Daddy.

Ah, well.

I mean, who wants to be good looking anyway? I'm happy with personality and

charm. He's got those too, Daddy.

Have I got anything he hasn't got?

Yes. What?

Baggy pants.

Oh.

Daddy. These trousers are much baggy.

Daddy, don't worry. There is one thing you've got that he hasn't.

Yes? What?

of course.

That's right, yes.

Do you ever talk to him? Yes, I can't get through.

Well, I'll try.

You'll need that.

Good luck.

Come in.

Sally, I want to have a talk to you.

Daddy's already done it.

Oh, no, dear, not like Daddy.

Confidentially, woman to woman.

You mean I've been promoted?

It's just been a phone call from a man.

Good for you.

He'll be smoking next.

It's about his father.

What did he want?

Well, you see, Sally... Mummy, why don't you sit down?

Well, a long time ago, he and I were friends.

What sort of friends?

Well, we were engaged.

You mean you were lovers?

Don't turn it into the play of the month.

He asked me out to dinner. He does fancy you.

Do you fancy him? I didn't know what to say.

You do fancy him.

Of course I don't.

It's just that I'd like to go, but it seems somehow the wrong thing to do.

Are you afraid of Daddy?

I didn't know what to say to your father.

You are afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Yes, I am afraid.

You've got nothing to be afraid of. Just tell him you're going and then go.

Couldn't I just go and then tell him I've been?

You've just got to be brave.

Just say to him, last night I went out to dinner with my ex -fiancé.

Go on, have a little practice.

Last night I went out to dinner with my ex -fiancé.

Not like that, Mummy.

It's not as though you're doing anything wrong.

Last night I went out to dinner with my ex -fiancé.

All right.

You haven't been, but you're going, aren't you?

Oh, Sid, try to understand. I can't just ignore him.

He's still a friend.

And he's lonely.

Supposing he tries to seduce you?

How can he seduce me at the Carlton Lodge?

If he wants to do that, he's got to get me back to his place.

I've seen his place.

His son drives around in his place.

If he so much as lays one finger on me, I'll say, Now, look here, Jack.

I'm a happily married woman.

With a fantastic husband.

With a fantastic husband.

Whom I love very much.

You do?

Well, of course, darling.

You're the kindest man in the whole entire world.

For the first time today, I agree with you.

And the most understanding.

For the second time today, I agree with you.

You're not going.

What are you trying to make? Laced curtains?

Don't talk to me. You're just selfish.

Well, what have I got to be pleased about?

Sally's going out with her son. You're going out with her father. What do you

want me to do? Nip over to Texas and take her mother for a picnic?

I don't know what all the fuss is about.

You've got me all the time.

He's only having me for one night.

Would you mind rephrasing that?

You've got all... of me. He's only getting one little bit.

Never mind. You just forget the whole thing.

You don't think about my worries, do you?

I mean, I've changed since we were engaged.

That's true.

You've aged 20 years since he fell.

You see?

You'll probably age another 20 on the way there.

Thank you. All right.

You're going to be 108 by the time you get there.

But don't worry about it. All you've got to do is have a quick monkey gland

salad and you can swing home through the trees.

You mean I can go?

Why should I be selfish?

Oh, thank you, darling.

All right.

What are you going to wear?

Oh, nothing much.

No, Sid, I mean nothing good.

I'll wear my old dress.

The one I bought last week.

And then this afternoon I'll go and buy those shoes I can't afford.

I don't want you to worry about a thing. And I promise you, it doesn't worry me

at all. I want you to go there, have a good time, have a nice dinner.

Don't rush.

Take your time, have a few drinks.

Talk about old times and get it right out of your system.

Oh, thank you, darling.

And be home by nine o 'clock.

Jean?

Oh, God, that's all I need.

Jean? She's out.

cup of sugar.

Help yourself, you always do.

Have you got a can of milk?

In the fridge.

I suppose you couldn't let me have a tin of soup.

You'll find a screwdriver in the kitchen. Take the whole bloody cupboard.

No, thanks.

We're all right for cupboards.

Betty.

Betty.

Supposing... Just supposing, you know, some bloke from your past, somebody you

knew 20 years ago, suddenly phones you up and asks you out to dinner. What

you do?

Well, I wouldn't be much use to him like this, would I?

No, no, just imagine it happened. What would you do?

What sort of bloke?

Good -looking?

Shocking. Nice personality?

Diabolical. Any money?

Skint.

Well, if he was rich and handsome, like that man that's taking Jean out tonight.

Who told you?

Mrs David.

Who told her? Mrs. Crossley.

And who told her? She heard it on the news on the telly. Oh, God.

I could get an emotional seat.

Well, blimey, it's 11 o 'clock. She's been gone two and a half hours. Look at

this way. The worst that can happen is that your marriage will break up, you'll

have to sell the house, the kids will leave the country, and you'll move into

bed pit with the budgie.

Did you tell your husband you were having dinner with me?

Well, of course I tell him everything.

He trusts me completely.

You

may

be 20 years ago, but you're just as lovely to me.

Thank you.

Mind you, the years haven't been quite so kind to me.

Very distinguished. Oh, thank you. Mrs. Alice?

Yes? I have a call for you.

For me?

Thank you.

Hello.

Hello.

Having a good time, are you?

Yes, thank you.

Lovely.

Has he changed much?

No, not at all.

Still got all his hair, has he?

Masses of it.

Still charming, is he?

Yes, very charming.

Tell him to get his hand off.

Where are you?

I'm at home, of course.

Well, how did you know? Well, I had a sort of vision.

Oh, I see.

So you're having a good time, are you?

Yes, I said so.

He's holding your hand again.

Yes, that's right.

I should think so, but I'm trying to make the phone call. You know, do your

mind. All right, just carry on.

Well, thank you for ringing me.

See you soon.

No, no, no, don't rush.

It's all right. I've got my eye on you, my mind on you.

Bye, dear.

Bye -bye.

Can I help you, sir? Yes, I'll have a cup of coffee.

I'm sorry, sir, we only serve meals in the restaurant.

Just bring me a cup of coffee and I'll have it here.

I'm surprised your husband let you out of his sight. I wouldn't.

Sid hasn't got a jealous bone in his body.

I'm still waiting for my coffee.

Sir, the restaurant is for eating. This is for making phone calls.

The gents is for you -know -what, and the coffee bar is for drinking coffee.

Have you got a good view of the restaurant from the coffee bar? If you

view of the restaurant, sir, you can buy a picture postcard on your way out.

All right, I'll have a dinner. Thank you, sir. Come this way, sir. I'll find

a nice table with an excellent view of the restaurant.

I want to see the restaurant, but I don't want the restaurant to see me.

I beg your pardon?

Don't worry about it. I'll sit here.

Well, at least would you mind removing your hat, sir?

You want me to catch a cold?

Well, Jean, I'm very glad you're happy, but if you have any trouble with Sid,

you come running to Jack.

I trust you've got the view you want, sir? Oh, yes. Very nice indeed. Lovely.

Yes, thank you.

Very nice plant, that, isn't it?

Do you want a draft, son?

No, no, no. Just checking for sound, that's all.

What can I get you to eat, sir? I'll have the smallest dinner you've got.

just had my big dinner, you see.

We can give you a small dinner and charge you for a large one, sir.

What's this?

Little meals for little people.

That's the children's lunchtime menu, sir.

I'll have two sunshine eggies, kiddie chippies and rainbow pudding.

I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve children's meals to adults. I'm sure the

will make an exception.

Why don't you come back for lunch tomorrow, sir?

And if you're a good little boy and eat it all up, you'll get a free lollipop.

Just go and ask the manager.

All right, sir, I'll ask the manager. And if he says yes, I'll find you a nice

high chair to sit in.

Which one would you prefer, sir?

One with funny bunnies or one with gollywogs?

If you don't shut up, matey -waity.

You'll get a punchy one. She went on a conky one.

Right, sir. What can I get you to eat? Oh, blimey. I'll have one of these.

Excuse me, waiter.

Yes, ma 'am.

Could you tell me how far it is to the Adelaide Hotel?

By how?

By rolls.

About three minutes' drive, madam.

Thank you. Good night.

Off we go. Thank you. Good night, sir.

Adelaide Hotel.

Sir,

your meal, sir. You have it. It's lovely.

Come on, wake up, wake up. Sorry, sir.

Pull up.

Get up. Come on, wake up.

Which room are Mr and Mrs Jack Morgan in? Oh, we haven't got a Mr and Mrs Jack

Morgan. Have a look in the book.

Oh, thank God, I haven't got a book. When did they check it? About half an

ago.

Let's have a look.

Smith.

Smith.

Jones. Jones.

Smith.

They're all at it tonight.

Smith.

Abbott.

Jones. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Go back a bit.

Jones. Jones.

Abbott. That's it.

That's it.

Abbott, he's using my name.

He's not only using my wife, he's using my name as well.

Adelaide Hotel.

Mr Abbott?

Well, which one do you want?

Well, we've got one upstairs and one downstairs.

A grey -haired man with a bad temper.

It's for you, sir.

Hello?

Sid? Which room are you in?

The living room.

I'm coming right up. What's your number?

2 Howard Road.

You come downstairs at once.

My God, he's hypnotised her.

Get that room again, the Abbott room.

I don't know what's come over her.

I think she's gone out of her head. She thinks she's at home.

Hello. Mr Abbott.

Look, I'm sorry to bother you, sir, but we have a madman in the lobby.

Just tell him to get down here right away.

You've got to get down here right away. It's no good pretending she's at home.

It's no good pretending you're at home. I'll give him two minutes.

He'll give me two minutes. Otherwise I'll tear this place apart. Otherwise

tear this place apart.

Look, sir, I wouldn't...

I wonder if I could, uh, eat just, you know, a small drop of whiskey to sort

uh, calm the nerves. Sheriff, you know what I mean.

Oh,

there's the lift coming down now, sir.

Here,

ma 'am, what's the matter? Well, there's a...

I know his bloody name.

What are you doing here? I haven't had time to do anything yet.

Wait a minute.

So it's you that's upstairs.

Well, it was your idea. You said here a bit, there a bit, everywhere a bit.

Oh, you clever boy.

oh oh