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What'll I do when you are far
2
00:00:06,330 --> 00:00:12,210
away and I am blue?
3
00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:17,570
What'll I do when I...
4
00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:41,960
That woman, she still treats us to a
winter holiday.
5
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Oh, Christmas in the Canary Islands.
6
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I wonder if we'll see any.
7
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Any what?
8
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Canaries.
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00:00:51,701 --> 00:00:56,009
Well, they've got to have come from
there. They wouldn't have called them
10
00:00:56,010 --> 00:01:00,089
Canary Islands, would they? Not
necessarily. I mean, the Virgin Islands
11
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full of virgins.
12
00:01:01,790 --> 00:01:03,900
Well, not since Dorian went there
anyway.
13
00:01:05,110 --> 00:01:09,060
Right. Just time to make myself a bacon
salad before we leave. Do you fancy one?
14
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:10,770
I can't go.
15
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,570
We've got syrup of figs in the medicine
cabinet.
16
00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:16,060
No, I mean I can't get on the plane.
17
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:18,680
Not that old fear of flying, is it?
18
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:23,539
Look, just take a big squig of Dr Do's
when we get on board, and by the time
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wake up, you'll be surrounded by little
yellow birds.
20
00:01:26,251 --> 00:01:27,919
Mum, it's the middle of the night.
21
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:29,840
Oh, couldn't you sleep, Travis, love?
22
00:01:29,841 --> 00:01:31,699
What, with all the racket you two are
making?
23
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:34,719
You're worried about us going away,
aren't you? I could still try and get
24
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,790
flight. You can have my room and I'll
bunk in with Aunty Sharon.
25
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I don't think so.
26
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I might get lucky.
27
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,000
Mum, I'll be fine.
28
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Look, I just feel so guilty about
leaving my baby at home.
29
00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:49,390
You've had a baby?
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You're my baby.
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Mum, I'm 17.
32
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,830
Well, what if you get all lonely and
sad?
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00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:59,520
I'd be a lot sadder if I had to go on
holiday with three old ladies.
34
00:02:02,010 --> 00:02:03,060
That told you.
35
00:02:05,470 --> 00:02:07,630
Oh, what do you think?
36
00:02:13,310 --> 00:02:14,360
Fabulous doll.
37
00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:16,590
You look like a young Kim Kardashian.
38
00:02:19,490 --> 00:02:21,030
And what about this?
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Too much?
40
00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:33,900
A lot of people couldn't carry that off,
but you do.
41
00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:38,800
And these?
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Stunning. Just so imaginative.
43
00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:46,670
Oh, for God's sake, Sharon.
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The holiday's paid for.
45
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Just stop trying to be so nice. It's
unnatural.
46
00:02:52,551 --> 00:02:56,869
So what do you buy all this stuff for,
then? Just to wind me up? Only costs a
47
00:02:56,870 --> 00:02:57,919
few hundred.
48
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Now that my book royalties are flowing
again, it's a mere bag of tell.
49
00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:03,260
It's a bag of summink.
50
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,780
That's better, Sharon. Much better.
51
00:03:06,781 --> 00:03:08,639
I should have done a bigger shop.
52
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,059
What are my boys going to eat?
53
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Not this bacon.
54
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:14,690
Who's that?
55
00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:16,190
Carol Singer?
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00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:17,710
Cheers, Mum.
57
00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:19,800
Garth. I should have guessed.
58
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,240
You've been out all night, Garthy.
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00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:25,280
Well, you know what they say. Early worm
catches the bird.
60
00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:28,950
Well, that's not exactly what they say.
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00:03:28,951 --> 00:03:31,429
I've brought one home with me. Is that
all right, Mum?
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00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:33,129
Well, I won't know until I've seen her.
63
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,930
Where are you hiding her? In this box.
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00:03:36,130 --> 00:03:37,650
Why is she a contortionist?
65
00:03:38,590 --> 00:03:44,969
Feast your eyes on... Ta
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00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:49,850
-da. Oh, my God, what is it? An ostrich?
67
00:03:50,870 --> 00:03:52,470
No, it's a pigeon.
68
00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:53,900
Don't be stupid.
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00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:59,349
A pigeon stuffed in a chicken, stuffed
in a capon, stuffed in a goose, all
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00:03:59,350 --> 00:04:00,910
stuffed in a turkey.
71
00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:04,790
You are joking. You mean you've never
heard of a five -bird roast?
72
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,050
Oh, that's a taxi. Come on.
73
00:04:12,290 --> 00:04:16,909
You might as well have this, girl. I'm
just going to go and change. I'll only
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00:04:16,910 --> 00:04:17,960
an hour.
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00:04:17,961 --> 00:04:19,809
Cheers, doll.
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00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:20,890
You saved me bacon.
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00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:26,619
Brett and Doris bought enough luggage?
78
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:28,420
No, but it's a budget airline.
79
00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:29,920
She's making sacrifices.
80
00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:35,760
Where are the porters?
81
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,220
What are you doing? Just a little
marketing.
82
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,900
That's put them up where they belong.
83
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,010
Banksy?
84
00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,010
This way, they can't send them back to
the publisher.
85
00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:04,660
That lady's scribbling in the book.
86
00:05:08,820 --> 00:05:09,870
Lovely.
87
00:05:10,020 --> 00:05:14,099
Oh, and I'd better have some condoms.
What sizes have you got? The bigger, the
88
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:15,179
better. Know what I mean?
89
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:16,179
Just kidding.
90
00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:17,230
I'll have a dozen.
91
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,040
Might get lucky, eh?
92
00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:22,780
Eat the change, love.
93
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,050
Feeling flush.
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00:05:25,770 --> 00:05:26,820
I'd pull the chain.
95
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,420
Have you got a bottle of Dr Do's,
please?
96
00:05:30,421 --> 00:05:34,389
Only I'm a really nervous flyer and
someone told me that a couple of swigs
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00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:36,310
this would knock me out of the duration.
98
00:05:36,530 --> 00:05:39,600
Sorry if I'm talking too much, but I'm a
really nervous flyer.
99
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,630
I already said that, didn't I?
100
00:05:41,650 --> 00:05:42,700
Sorry.
101
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,650
All right, Trace? Not really.
102
00:05:44,890 --> 00:05:46,630
She's a really nervous flyer.
103
00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:51,030
£10 .99 for some aftersun? We do this
for a quid.
104
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,690
We do anything for a quid.
105
00:06:23,820 --> 00:06:26,110
for all those book shoes you faced,
didn't I?
106
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,490
I'm going to the executive lounge to
take refuge from the riffraff.
107
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,700
Riffraff? Who died and made you queen?
108
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,960
Do I know you? I'm Sonia.
109
00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:37,390
You tried sacking me from World of Quid
for Nick and Picamix.
110
00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:38,720
No hard feelings, eh?
111
00:06:38,721 --> 00:06:41,419
Duke, we've got a car for a cocktail.
112
00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:46,300
I just hope they're not on our flight.
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00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:56,840
surprise for Sharon.
114
00:06:57,490 --> 00:06:58,690
Do you do gift wrapping?
115
00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:04,230
My mum won't be back until the 30th.
116
00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:05,790
I know, it's brilliant.
117
00:07:06,710 --> 00:07:10,560
Mate, this Christmas I'll make the in
-betweeners look like a sound of music.
118
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:12,990
No, it's just me and my brother.
119
00:07:12,991 --> 00:07:15,389
His girlfriend's shoved off back to
Australia.
120
00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:17,270
Do you want a hand with them, right?
121
00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:18,700
I'll call you back.
122
00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:21,720
Sorry, mate.
123
00:07:21,970 --> 00:07:24,740
I didn't see you there. What I said
about Marcy... It's true.
124
00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:26,680
She did shove off back to Australia.
125
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,820
You never said, you know, why?
126
00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:32,700
Just homesick? So she said.
127
00:07:33,060 --> 00:07:35,710
But I was never much cop at long -term
relationships.
128
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,000
First few months were always brilliant.
129
00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:41,930
Basically, you only get out of bed to
order pizza, do you know what I mean?
130
00:07:41,931 --> 00:07:46,159
Not really. Then you realise you've got
nothing in common, it's that you don't
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00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,210
like anchovies.
132
00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:49,220
What do you mean, not really?
133
00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:53,710
I've just never had.
134
00:07:58,530 --> 00:07:59,580
Anchovies.
135
00:08:00,950 --> 00:08:02,730
No, it.
136
00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:06,510
You have never had it.
137
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:09,590
Broth, this has got to change.
138
00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:15,410
I'm going to make sure that my little
brother has a Christmas to remember.
139
00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:20,250
Chantelle, Garth, your little stud
muffin.
140
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:34,919
you've got extra leg room.
141
00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:37,559
It ain't like you've got extra legs.
142
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,610
Remind me how much you pay for your
seat, Sharon.
143
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,010
Sorry, door.
144
00:08:43,380 --> 00:08:44,960
Party, party, party!
145
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,080
Oh, we meet again, lovely lady.
146
00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:55,620
Nice and cosy.
147
00:08:59,741 --> 00:09:02,789
Who'd have thought when we were...
148
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:04,210
eye condoms together, eh?
149
00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:05,600
Oh, she's stuck.
150
00:09:06,890 --> 00:09:09,610
Would you mind wiggling your bottom,
Tracy?
151
00:09:10,230 --> 00:09:11,390
Do you want a fat lip?
152
00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:13,410
You're sitting on my prongs.
153
00:09:14,890 --> 00:09:20,050
Of course, the only reason we have to
wear these is in the event of a crash.
154
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,230
It's easier to identify the corpses.
155
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:42,039
over the superb caviar canapes, which
were the signature pre -dinner nibbles
156
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,980
air on a G -string, the world's sexiest
airline.
157
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:54,020
Business or pleasure, he inquired, a
naughty twinkle in his clear blue eyes.
158
00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:56,359
Excuse me, would you mind not reading
aloud?
159
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,790
Oh, no, I'm not reading, I'm writing.
Well, actually, I'm dictating.
160
00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:04,820
Maybe you've heard of my first book,
Sixty Shades of Green.
161
00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:07,840
Maybe your wife.
162
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:09,360
I'm not married.
163
00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:12,340
Widow.
164
00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:14,480
Divorce. Guy.
165
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:18,829
You're interrupting a private
conversation, Sharon.
166
00:10:18,830 --> 00:10:19,880
I know.
167
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:26,690
So, you now know what I do. How about
you? I work for the airline.
168
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:33,950
Guy. This is Captain James Banner
welcoming you aboard flight 8212 to
169
00:10:35,030 --> 00:10:36,410
Unfortunately, our...
170
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,980
Oh, my God.
171
00:10:43,981 --> 00:10:47,819
Please calm yourself. There's nothing to
worry about.
172
00:10:47,820 --> 00:10:48,759
How do you know?
173
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:52,039
I'm chief engineer for the airline. I
can assure you these planes have an
174
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,300
exemplary safety record.
175
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,940
Is that quite often, then?
176
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,210
No, just once.
177
00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,380
Whose side are you on?
178
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:06,340
I was in Australia, but now I am back.
I'm buff and I'm...
179
00:11:06,670 --> 00:11:07,720
Ready to party?
180
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,050
Be just like old times.
181
00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:11,690
You, me and a bottle of tequila.
182
00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:14,840
Oh.
183
00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:16,120
When's it due?
184
00:11:17,650 --> 00:11:19,690
Really? Well, congratulations.
185
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,330
You can call him Jesus.
186
00:11:24,490 --> 00:11:26,110
Another one bites the dust, then.
187
00:11:26,390 --> 00:11:30,610
Six loved up, five moved away and one
sex change.
188
00:11:32,770 --> 00:11:33,990
He was up for it, though.
189
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:43,120
It creases me up. Place the oxygen mask
over your face and breathe normally.
190
00:11:43,380 --> 00:11:47,839
It ought to say, place the mask over
your face and scream hysterically as a
191
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,280
plane plummets from the sky.
192
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:52,020
How did that happen?
193
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:58,919
I don't usually fly budget, but there's
nothing like real -life experience to
194
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,560
get the creative juices flowing.
195
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:07,639
For instance, it just occurred to me
that Foxy, my alter ego, might join the
196
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,690
-foot high club.
197
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:14,329
Which? It's like the mile -high club,
except you do it while the plane is
198
00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:15,890
on the ground. What do you think?
199
00:12:16,330 --> 00:12:18,190
I don't read a great deal of fiction.
200
00:12:18,590 --> 00:12:21,190
Oh, that's not what I mean.
201
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:28,149
I always research my book thoroughly,
because you can't beat the knack of
202
00:12:28,150 --> 00:12:30,670
authenticity if you get my drift.
203
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:33,030
You mean... Don't say another word.
204
00:12:35,530 --> 00:12:37,970
I'll go to the you -know -where.
205
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:44,100
Take a few seconds and then casually...
206
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,899
The flight's delay was not the result of
some fictional sandstorm, but of the
207
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:39,640
very real sex storm raging in the first
-class lavatory.
208
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:41,730
Toilet.
209
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:43,090
Bathroom.
210
00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:44,310
Decide later.
211
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:49,799
As Foxy and Captain Jonathan wrestled
each other's clothes off with wanton
212
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:50,850
abandon...
213
00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:03,200
Hello?
214
00:14:03,470 --> 00:14:04,520
Jonathan?
215
00:14:05,650 --> 00:14:06,700
Jonathan?
216
00:14:08,190 --> 00:14:09,390
Anybody? Anybody?
217
00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:11,080
Hello?
218
00:14:11,870 --> 00:14:12,920
Let me out!
219
00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:15,880
What's up, Annie?
220
00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:20,550
Hello! What's she doing in there? Hello!
221
00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:24,510
Assuming the brace position, I expect.
222
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,050
I've never been so humiliated.
223
00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:40,490
Not since... The last time you were
humiliated?
224
00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:43,390
Trollop. I beg your pardon?
225
00:14:44,270 --> 00:14:45,320
Three across.
226
00:14:45,930 --> 00:14:49,370
Victorian novelist, contemporary of
Dickens.
227
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,440
Oh.
228
00:14:53,130 --> 00:14:54,180
Tart. What?
229
00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:57,350
Three, Dan, acid dessert.
230
00:14:57,750 --> 00:14:59,130
How did you make that, Anne?
231
00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:03,730
Well, a tart is a dessert, and an acid
remark is tart.
232
00:15:06,890 --> 00:15:07,940
Seven down.
233
00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:12,610
What's left over after a coal mine
closes?
234
00:15:13,310 --> 00:15:14,360
Unemployed miners.
235
00:15:14,930 --> 00:15:16,510
Flag. That's it.
236
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:23,430
Nothing to do now.
237
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:26,430
Can I borrow your Daniel steel trace?
238
00:15:26,850 --> 00:15:27,900
It's in my case.
239
00:15:28,050 --> 00:15:29,630
I'll get it. You wait there.
240
00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:31,600
Hold on.
241
00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:35,020
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain
Bannister.
242
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:40,169
there today i'd like to apologize for
the delay but i've just heard from air
243
00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:46,889
traffic control that we have at last
been cleared for takeoff so can you all
244
00:15:46,890 --> 00:15:50,369
please return to your seats fasten your
seat belts and switch all electronic
245
00:15:50,370 --> 00:15:56,929
devices to flight mode that includes
your korean love egg store in addition
246
00:15:56,930 --> 00:16:00,889
can make sure your tray table is folded
away your armor is down and your seat is
247
00:16:00,890 --> 00:16:03,550
in an upright position senior captain
members
248
00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:23,509
Foxy enfolded him in her slim yet well
-toned arms and whispered, something wet
249
00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:25,130
and sticky just hit me in the face.
250
00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:29,290
You need to work on your dialogue.
251
00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:35,210
No, something wet and sticky really did
just... Now it's on my hair.
252
00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:37,470
Stewardess! Stewardess!
253
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,390
You again. What now? Up there.
254
00:16:40,610 --> 00:16:41,690
Something's leaking.
255
00:16:41,770 --> 00:16:44,480
The fuel line's fractured. I'm sure it's
nothing, sir.
256
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,290
Is this anyone?
257
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,050
Anybody?
258
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:54,090
What's that smell?
259
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,700
Almonds. It's probably just sun oil.
260
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,679
I will investigate further, though.
Don't lie to us! Everyone knows what the
261
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:04,759
smell of almonds means!
262
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:05,840
Plastic explosions!
263
00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:07,030
It's...
264
00:17:48,461 --> 00:17:55,289
What's happened to her? You've gone all
little. Because that awful stewardess
265
00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:57,030
made me abandon my favourite shoes.
266
00:17:57,031 --> 00:17:59,749
Who cares about shoes? The plane can
explode any second.
267
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:00,800
Oh, no.
268
00:18:01,170 --> 00:18:04,150
I've got ten grand's worth of jewellery
in me bag.
269
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,269
You ain't.
270
00:18:05,270 --> 00:18:08,160
No, of course I ain't. But you sure
don't know that, do you?
271
00:18:09,510 --> 00:18:10,830
What are you doing?
272
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:16,390
Taking the suspect device away to
destroy it, obviously.
273
00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:18,570
That ain't a suspect device.
274
00:18:18,571 --> 00:18:22,919
That's Sharon's Christmas. Christmas
present.
275
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,160
What? You're giving her explosives.
276
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,060
Don't be stupid.
277
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:29,440
It's bath stuff.
278
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:33,860
So you've brought air traffic to a
standstill over half of Europe?
279
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:35,940
Unbelievable. Oi!
280
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,680
It's your fault, not Tracy's.
281
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:43,659
We'd be on the beach by now if you
hadn't reacted like an hysterical little
282
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:44,710
schoolboy.
283
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:56,090
I can assure you, you will never fly air
today again.
284
00:18:58,010 --> 00:18:59,450
And goodwill to all men.
285
00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:01,790
Hang on a minute.
286
00:19:05,601 --> 00:19:07,249
What
287
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:17,789
was
288
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,890
all that about? The cow was wearing my
minolos.
289
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,579
All back to mine You
290
00:19:28,580 --> 00:19:45,039
said
291
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:51,319
they were gonna be chicks bitch That's
not here yet, right you keep saying that
292
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,090
bitch, but I'm sort of think you're just
jiving with me
293
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:56,850
Why does he talk like that?
294
00:19:58,150 --> 00:19:59,410
Where's he from, anyway?
295
00:20:00,010 --> 00:20:01,060
Basildon, Newtown.
296
00:20:02,670 --> 00:20:04,810
He's watched Breaking Bad 13 times.
297
00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:06,370
15 times, bitch!
298
00:20:08,490 --> 00:20:12,629
Your choice was between coming here and
going carol -singing round my nan's rest
299
00:20:12,630 --> 00:20:13,680
home.
300
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:17,090
I think I made the wrong decision.
301
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:22,050
I remember Christmas in the bad times.
302
00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:25,110
when Lithuania suffered under the
communist yoke.
303
00:20:25,630 --> 00:20:30,490
There was no joy, no food, no drink, no
internet.
304
00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:33,250
This is worse.
305
00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:39,390
What is wrong with you lot? We've give
you free booze, unlimited tortilla
306
00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,070
You promised us hot chicks.
307
00:20:54,901 --> 00:20:56,829
No idea.
308
00:20:56,830 --> 00:20:57,880
Father Christmas?
309
00:21:06,050 --> 00:21:07,100
Mum?
310
00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:16,130
Why aren't you in the Canaries?
311
00:21:16,330 --> 00:21:18,650
Because I missed you two too much. Come
here.
312
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:23,250
She hijacked the plane and flew it to
Chigwell.
313
00:21:23,251 --> 00:21:27,919
Good job we did come back when we did.
This place looks like a bomb's hit it.
314
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,480
Don't you mention bombs to me.
315
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:35,290
Hello.
316
00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:46,140
Who might you be?
317
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:48,800
This is my mate Jonas from Lithuania.
318
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,420
Oh, Lithuania.
319
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,480
Land of lakes and balalaikas.
320
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:58,340
Believe it or not, I am actually part
Lithuanian on my grandmother's side.
321
00:21:58,620 --> 00:22:04,320
I do believe it. I can see it in your
eyes, in your coloring, in your hair.
322
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,280
That's not strictly her hair.
323
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:10,700
You are the image of my grandmother.
324
00:22:24,881 --> 00:22:28,699
Well, we weren't exactly expecting you.
325
00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:30,200
I could do the five -bird roast.
326
00:22:30,340 --> 00:22:31,390
That'd take hours.
327
00:22:31,391 --> 00:22:32,599
Not on a barbecue.
328
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,220
Nice one, bruv. You can't barbecue a
whole turkey.
329
00:22:35,540 --> 00:22:38,100
Mum, Garth did it last Christmas on
Bondi Beach.
330
00:22:38,101 --> 00:22:39,339
It's on YouTube.
331
00:22:39,340 --> 00:22:42,060
3 ,000 likes. It is a piece of cake.
332
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,410
You fill the barbecue with oil, get it
to boiling point, slide in the turkey,
333
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,040
ten minutes, job done.
334
00:22:48,651 --> 00:22:50,749
Are you sure?
335
00:22:50,750 --> 00:22:55,300
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