All language subtitles for Birds of a Feather s07e11 Reservior Birds.eng

Oh, my dear.

Thank you.

When the job centre made us join that
job club, I never thought we'd end up

working somewhere like this.

It's exciting, glamorous.

I haven't noticed.

We've got all of the toilet cleaners
they've put on the ladder.

To where?

Being a croupier?

Oh, yeah.

Monte Carlo, Vegas, they won't touch you
unless you've got a couple of years

behind the brush.

I'm never going to be a crumpier.

It took me nearly a month to get a pair
of rubber gloves.

Scratch me here for me, Trace, will you?

You have to look after your nails when
one's a crumpier.

Just scratch it, will you?

In my line of work, it's not nice
putting your hands too near your nose.

Go on, dig, dig, dig.

I sat in front, punishing the knobs.

What was Roger whispering to you?

Nothing. Just about one of the punters.

Thought he was card counting.

Oh, right.

Why? What do you think it was?

I just wondered, that's all.

Can't stand him.

Think he's oily.

Me and all.

Public school punks.

Thank you.

Hello, Roger.

Tracy, I need you on the blackjack
table.

I'll be right there.

Just get up a wee.

Sharon, no toilet paper.

Stack your feet.

Kettle's on.

I'll get that.

That's the best thing about working
until the early hours.

You get all afternoon to slob out and
find a telly.

Nobody can slob out quite like you can,
Sharon.

Thanks, love.

Working at that casino's changed my
whole outlook on life.

Everything's so sophisticated.

Do you know who I met the other night?

The Duchess of Kent.

Did you meet her too?

Sort of.

Saw her feet under the door.

Funny, isn't it, Sharon, how life always
seems to hand you the thorn, never the

rose.

I don't intend staying a bog cleaner for
the rest of my life.

Oh, no, of course not.

Although if one finds one's niche.

This is for you.

Thanks.

Oh, Trace!

It's a dress I haven't read yet.

Who's Dawn?

Our cousin. She gets married Saturday
week.

Excuse me. What do you think you're
doing?

Trying it on.

The curtains are open.

Upstairs.

There's another reason I'm enjoying the
job so much.

I couldn't say nothing while she was
here. You know what I mean? She's gone.

But I'm seeing someone.

His name's Roger.

Why all the secrecy? Is he married?

No, he's the manager.

But he says if he gets out, he's seeing
someone from work. He'll lose his job.

Have you slept with him yet?

I've only been going out with him a
couple of months.

I've just been out for dinner a few
times.

Lovely. I'm really fond of him.

It don't look like it did on Naomi.

She's rabid and shapeless.

So you.

I was excited bickering the pair of you.

Kettle full.

For your information,

I won't be cleaning toilets for much
longer because I am having an intimate

relationship with a manager.

Roger.

Shut you up, innit?

Tracey reckons he's oily, but I'm
telling you, he is drop -dead gorgeous.

He mustn't say nothing, though. He wants
us to keep it quiet.

I bet he does.

Have you? Too right. First night.

Have you been all right?

Wonderful.

Oh, no bickies.

I'm on a diet.

It's like Paddington Station in here.
I'll get it.

Again.

I did.

How do you do? I'm Dorian Green.

I've heard so much about you. Nice to
meet you.

Look, I'm sorry to bother you at home,
but I wanted to ask you in person. Are

you available for a drink after work
this evening? Oh, yeah.

I think he was talking to me, Sharon.

I think he was talking to me, Tracy.

Well, actually, I was talking to both of
you. It's a work thing, a party.

I'd really like you both to come.

Any room for a little one, Roger?

No.

Grab yourself a drink.

All right, Roger.

I won't be a second.

Cheers.

I wonder why we're here.

What's it all about?

Why are there no one else here from the
casino?

I don't know, Magnus.

Does she like to make the most of it?

A couple of lovely little ladies
shouldn't be on the earth.

Could be worse.

We could be with you.

See, we are with you.

And it's worse.

Trevor.

Why don't you go and grab yourself
another drink?

Oh, right.

See you later.

Thank you.

Sharon, Tracy, let me introduce you to
our host, Richard Eden.

Hello. How do you do?

Good do, Rich.

You've obviously got a few bob.

Richard's head of the consortium that
owns the casino.

Oh. I usually like to keep a low
profile.

But I wanted to meet you.

I've been hearing good things about you.

Nice to know I'm appreciated.

It's not easy trying to keep those
toilet bowls spotless.

You'll be talking to Tracy, won't you?

Why don't we all go and sit down?

Another drink.

Ta.

Now, the reason I wanted to meet you is
that I was hoping you might be able to

help us out with a little problem I
think we're having.

Do you notice that lately the casino
hasn't been getting the same number of

punters as it used to?

We need some sort of publicity stunt to
boost the membership.

A mystery lady walks in off the street,
plays roulette, and hits us really

hard. then walks out with a million in
cash.

I think it has to be cash.

It's a better effect.

I mean, the papers love stories like
that.

Imagine all the great copy we'd get.

Sounds great.

A bit expensive, though.

Losing a million.

You're going to rig a set -up, aren't
you?

You're a sharp girl, Sharon.

No, she's not. She's got a devious mind.

I'd like you, Sharon, to play our
mystery high roller.

And Tracy, I'd like you to run the
table.

This isn't legal, is it? It's the
casino's own money.

Think of all that great PR.

Of course it is.

I'm game.

What's in it for us?

Say £3 ,000 each.

Five. Done.

Yes! No! What?

Definitely not. No way.

It'll be fine.

Trust me.

All right, then we'll jump.

I'm going to love this.

Dorian, what are you doing here?

Well, you and Tracy go on about this
place so much, I thought I'd come and

for myself.

Maybe have a flat.

You're a little overdressed for
scrubbing around the U -Bend, aren't

I'm not on duty tonight.

I'm here for a bit of a gamble myself.

Excellent.

Well, you can lose your fiver and then
you can watch me see how it's really

done.

Black 46.

Later, Bette.

Now, Sharon, what you do... I know what
I'm doing. Thank you.

No more Bette.

Big black.

Sharon! You've won!

You've won! Dorian! Don't get so
excited.

It's very common.

Let it ride.

Take off, Wolda. I want to talk to you
now.

Get in there.

Sit.

Finally come to the surface, hasn't it?
You criminal castes always revert to

type eventually.

What are you going on about?

Don't treat me like an idiot.

No one has the sort of luck you and
Tracy are having. You're obviously

some sort of scam.

You can't cheat these people.

Don't break your elbows.

Nika.

God knows how you got away with it so
far, but you have.

I can't stop now because I feel lucky.

Sharon.

Sharon.

Sharon.

Sharon.

Thank you, thank you.

Sharon. Where was I?

Place your bet.

I've been climbing over a toilet
cubicle.

Oh,

my worst nightmare.

Sharon wealthier than me.

When you've cashed up for the lady,
bring it straight through to my office.

Tracy?

I don't understand. How can Sharon win
all this money?

Shh!

Publicity stunt for the casino.

Yes, Sharon.

How much?

£1 ,023 ,000 and some change.

Sit down, girl.

Can I smell it?

Be my guest.

Roger, what the hell's going on out
there?

Dorian? Do I know you?

Oh, my God!

Dorian Capper!

The Cheek World Slapper.

Girls,

this is the man I nearly married.

Have you still got that rabbit's foot?

Davy Cooper.

No.

Richard.

Richard Eden.

Yes, well, Davy Cooper is my real name,
actually.

It's a tax thing.

Well, this is a surprise.

You look... Fair to you.

Excuse me.

Shouldn't we get on?

Yeah, we've got some serious celebrating
to do.

Five grand each, please.

Ah, listen, girls, you don't want to go
out on the town carrying all that cash.

Why don't I give you a couple of hundred
quid spending money, and then I'll give

you the rest of what's coming to you
later.

Hmm. I don't know.

You can trust him.

Never let me down.

All right, then.

Dinner?

Love to.

Why don't you go down to the car with
Ray?

I'll be along in a minute.

Night, girls.

Night, Roger.

See you later.

Fantastic.

Everything nice and clean and simple.
They know who you are now.

Don't lose your bottle.

It's not what we agreed.

Suddenly there's loose ends, Davy.

Which I will just have to cut off.

This evening in London's West End, a
London casino was robbed of £1 million.

Roger de Montfort, the manager of the
casino, has disappeared. They are also

keen to question two sisters, Sharon
Deaver -Furman and Tracy Stott, both

employees of the club.

The man leading the inquiry is Detective
Inspector Trevor Fernley. We're

appealing for any information leading to
the event. That's that time you get at

David's party.

The owner of the casino, Lord Woodgate,
is offering a reward of 50 ,000 pounds.

What's he talking about?

Don't he owns the casino?

I'll keep up your silly tarts. We've
been out!

This is the Woodgate Club. Come on!

Special delivery!

Is she there

yet? Eh? Is she?

No.

It's past six in the morning.

Don't expect Dorian to be in her own
bed, do you?

I bet they've killed her.

Don't say that, Trance.

Don't build me hopes up.

Sharon, look, we've got to stay
positive.

It's rotten landing ourselves on Trez
and Dawn.

Especially on Dawny's wedding day.

They're family.

That's who you turn to when you're in
trouble and you've got no choice.

We haven't even got her a wedding
present.

cafeteria. Don't let her be in.

Oh, thank God.

Your birthday?

It's been on the news and all over the
papers.

Hey, quick, come in.

We

had

white when I heard about the shooting.

Sit down.

Happens all the time round our way.

We were the last to get shot at in our
turning.

You've had a good time at the wedding,
haven't you?

I've got six weeks to go yet.

I'm a wedding man, dear, unless the
bride's showing.

Do you want tea?

I could murder a cup.

Do you have to say murder?

Well, have a look.

This body inclined.

Dad, just for once, try not to be a
tosser, eh?

I've chose.

Well, I'll gather, Dad.

you'd be sitting in my kitchen if you
had a million notes on your rip.

I can't see the criminal justice system
being as enlightened.

What's the word, then?

It's a long story.

You got Fleeting Liberty turning up
here?

Dad? Well, we only ever see him when he
wants, Sammy.

Come and show how we're going. No.

Take no notice of him.

Don't. It's your wedding day.

We don't want to spoil it for you.

Marrying the man she loves is the
biggest day in a girl's life.

I'm nearly eight months pregnant. My
choice is limited.

Marwane's a nice bloke, but love ain't
really had a chance to come into it.

Disdain. You behave yourself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look, I'm sorry.

Forget it.

If there's anything I can do, you know,
just say the word.

Thanks, James.

Get off!

You don't want it surveying, you don't
want it displaying.

Pardon me, for Christ's sake.

Second cousin.

Don't make me out to be some sort of
pervert.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you
just pleased to see me?

No, it's a gun, actually.

It's a self -protection thing.

You know, there's a lot of envious
people out there.

Ah, socialists.

So, what were the odds of bumping into
you again?

Well, you tell me. You're the one with
the casino.

Well, it looks like I'm going to be
losing you again soon.

Yeah, well, I only had this flat on a
short let.

I was planning to move out last night,
but you telling us forced me to stay a

bit longer.

So tell me, is there a Mrs Cooper I
don't want to know about?

No.

But there's three ex -Mrs Coopers I
don't want to know about.

You thought you'd never found the right
woman.

Maybe I did.

Maybe I just never realised it.

Well, it wasn't my fault.

You were the one who disappeared.

Rumour had it, on the coffee and bagels
circuit,

That you went to prison.

Yeah, well, they were cracking down on
fair dodgers.

You must let with a fully paid -up
gangster before.

I am just a businessman.

You can't fool me.

I've seen your weapon, remember?

Yes?

Your visitor's here.

Want me a minute? Don't be long.

and champagne, will you?

I take orders from Davy.

I don't take them from you.

And do you think he'll be happy knowing
you speak to his special friends like

that?

Make sure it's chilled.

Trevor!

Thanks for coming.

Any news?

The two slags have disappeared.

I've got the whole squad out looking.

Yeah, well, if Postman Pat and his black
-and -white prep have done their job

properly... They don't.

Well, what did you expect them to do?
Stand there like a couple of coconuts

while you knocked them over?

You can never keep it simple, can you?

Always got to go over the top.

Well, I warned you.

Now, come on.

Hand it over.

Gav, give it to me.

You are never watching The Godfather
again.

As soon as you find them, I want them.

But I can't just hand them over. This is
high profile. I've got the world on my

back. Trevor, it's important that they
are taken out.

They can link you to me, remember?

But they've got no proof.

I can make sure it all falls on deaf
ears.

Look, if you're that worried about it,
after you've handed them over, why don't

you jump on a plane and retire somewhere
sunny?

I mean, you must have earned enough out
of me over the years.

I'm not spending the rest of my life
fighting extradition in some South

cesspit. I've got family here,
grandchildren.

Sorry.

I am looking at 20 years for another
conviction.

This comes on top.

I'll cut your heart out.

All right.

What about sorting the bedroom?

Her name is Dorian, and you can leave
her to me.

Well, shouldn't you pop her?

No. What happens when she finds out?

Then she becomes a liability.

Until then, she's not.

No, there's only one thing for it. We're
going to have to go abroad.

Excuse me?

Who died and put you in charge?

Things aren't that bad.

There's a lunatic gangster trying his
best to top us.

The copper in charge of the
investigation is in his pocket.

We're on an East End council estate
dressed in evening wear.

Things don't get any worse. I'm still
not going abroad.

I haven't done anything wrong.

And besides, what about Dorian? I mean,
we can't just leave her.

We should go to the police.

They won't believe us.

As far as they're concerned, we're a
couple of conswives acting to fool them.

Look, I'm worried about Dor, but if this
bent DI gets hold of us, he'll take us

straight back to Davy.

We'll be in the same position as her.

Screwed, as usual.

Let's face it, Trace.

With our background, we were the perfect
patsies.

Roger and Davy stitched us up good and
proper.

Men, they're all animals.

I hope you ain't including me in that,
General Isaacson.

I thought Roger was involved.

Do me a favour. It was him that
introduced us to Davy.

Well, Davy probably forced him.

I mean, you didn't know Roger as well as
me.

I went out with him a couple of times.

You did what?

We went out for dinner.

So I saw a lot more of him than you.

I wouldn't bank on it.

Excuse me.

Jealous.

Go on, put your left hand on yellow.

Don't hurry me. Shut up a minute.

It says right hand on green.

Me? Well, your name's Green now, isn't
it?

The Hamlet of Hoxton is playing Twister.

I'll tell you, we need rid of this tart.

Wait, Daniela.

Is that for her?

Uh -huh.

Hungry? I could do with putting an edge
on my appetite.

Dorian, I'm not 21 anymore.

I need a bit of recovery time.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you go downstairs?

There's a delicious breakfast waiting
for you.

What about you?

I'll be down in a minute.

I've got a couple of things to catch up
on here.

You know, afterwards, I really ought to
think about going home to get a change

of clothes.

No.

Are you... keeping me prisoner?

No.

It's just I don't want you to go home
yet.

Why don't I take you shopping?

I should warn you, I have been known to
spend the gross national product of

Belgium on a single outfit.

Well, I'm sure I can accommodate,
madame.

Sex and shopping.

Did I die last night and go to heaven?

Nearly.

Don't you knock.

Where's Doreen going?

She's having her breakfast.

She's only left the newspaper on the
tray.

What does she say about the robbery?

It's all gone, isn't it?

No. Um, everything okay?

Oh, couldn't be better.

Have you seen the newspaper there, Ned?

Oh! There it is.

Is it today's?

Yesterday's.

I'll tell you what.

I will have that, Tina.

Sure.

I've been

thinking.

Maybe it would be better if you went
home.

Oh, yes, I think so.

I'll get dressed right away.

No, you just give me a lift. I'll get a
cab.

I'm so sorry.

It's a lovely dress, Dawn.

20 quid in the Oxfam shop. Oh, don't
matter. It's perfect.

And the purple bit in your latest match
of bridesmaid's outfit.

It's a shame you can't come to the
wedding.

Oh, it's a bit risky, isn't it?

There's all some ponce ready to grass
you up.

It's only family.

Well, you're right.

I'll see you when you get back.

Don't know where else to go.

Open up! Oh, please!

You really

are a terrible prat.

Oh, the lovely bride, mate. Hello,
girls.

I hate to interrupt you, but I've got a
bit of church in 20 minutes.

Of course you have.

How do I look?

You look gorgeous, darling.

You're proud to walk me down the aisle,
then?

Not many.

In fact, if you weren't my daughter...
All right, Chas.

Don't spoil it.

Ah, that'll be tell. With the beers.

I wish you every happiness.

Charles William Lansing.

That might be. Who wants to come up?

If this is about my phone bill, well,
two words.

Then it'll be your turn to speak.

Theodophilopodus and Stubbs.

Solicitors? We can't get out the back
window.

We're two floors up.

Well, let's just make a break for it.

We won't get five yards.

We can sneak you out disguised as my
bridesmaids.

Come on, girls, get your kit off.

Unto us, someone.

You haven't seen them for years. Why is
it we found your daughter's wedding

invitation behind the clock on their
mantelpiece?

They're family.

You invite family to weddings.

And I bet you harbour them when they're
on the run as well, don't you? I'm hurt!

I'm breathing!

I'm breathing!

My daughter's due in church in ten
minutes.

Now, do you want to let me go or nick
me?

Dad!

Nobody else leaves until we've searched
this place.

We've got to talk.

You can trust me.

Danny!

He didn't have a clue, did he?

Oh, brilliant.

There's something I like better than
making a filth look like mud.

Is it the church, then? I need my dress
back.

If I see you looking in that mirror...

She's what?

If this goes wrong, you know what to do,
don't you?

Shut up.

This is your church, ain't it?

Who's this dog coming down the aisle
then?

I don't know.

I thought it happened in a minute. But I
want to marry you, not her.

She's horrible.

Come on.

Guys up.

Leg it.

Listen, mate, your government's big.
You've got to take from a fella called

Cooper.

Not a lucky day, is it?

Ivar, give us the keys to your bike.

Hang on.

We're supposed to be getting married.

A bit later is important.

So wrong.

You knew what I was. Yes, I didn't know
you murdered people.

Look, in this business, charm and nice
table manners only get you so far.

What's it going to be?

Bullet in the head?

You're going to slit my throat?

How could you do this to me, Davy? I
thought you cared about me.

I do, Dorian.

But there's no other way.

But there is, Davy. I'll go and live
abroad.

You'll never hear from me again.

I'm bored with Britain anyway.

Are you telling me that you could keep
your mouth shut knowing I murdered your

two best friends?

Best friends?

Who said anything about them being best
friends? They were my neighbours.

Nothing more.

I mean, I don't even like them very
much. They're coarse, horrible people. I

mean, I wouldn't be the weak of heart if
they were wiped off the face and

hopeless to the end, I do. You?

You're to blame for this, you stupid,
selfish, greedy fighting. Oh, yes.

That's really useful.

Please, Davey. Oh, don't bother
appealing to my better nature.

According to my last four prison
psychiatrists, I haven't got one.

I don't like you hurting us.

We were very close, me and him.

Does she still not know?

It seemed kinder not to tell her. Tell
me what?

While he was seeing you, he was seeing
me and all.

Well, seeing to me, to be more precise.

I'll beat you to it.

I'm only joking. He's in, um, Fiji.

Oi.

I thought I told you to stop him. I did.

I didn't want to make the girls
distressed.

Why don't you let us go?

I mean, you won't get away with it.

Why not?

Have you got a secret plan?

Yeah.

It's true.

My cousin Dawny's followed us from the
church.

She's going to ring the police.

Leave it, Trace.

They'll be here any minute.

Shut up, will you? Why?

Just because.

Was she followed?

There was this bike. Get them all in a
van.

Stop! You mean don't really hate? You
stupid woman!

Oh, thank God!

Drug squad, gentlemen.

You want to wait in the queue?

This is a wind -up.

Trevor, sort this.

Someone's been pulling your plonker,
boys. These people are with me.

Anti -terrorist squad.

What the hell is this?

They'll bring you up to speed, Sonny.

We've got business.

It's Commander Sonny to you.

Now talk to me, someone.

All right, shall?

I found as many oddbills as I could
think of. That way I thought we'd stand

chance of getting at least one that
weren't on the table.

Big fan though I am of the Krypton
Factor, I'm getting irritated.

Sorry, sir. These are a criminal family
well known to us.

We're the sisters that are wanted for
the casino job.

Only we didn't do it.

He did.

Davy Cooper.

My name's not Davy Cooper.

Bit of a gangster.

You've probably heard of him. I thought
I recognised you.

I've had your mugshot in my folder since
I was at Hendon.

Wow.

This is fun.

Let's do it down the local factory.

Nick everyone, especially him.

Just a minute.

There's something I want to say to you.

Well?

He can wait.

Stay back.

Cliff, get over here and drive this
motor.

You, uh... You're on your own, Cooper.

Do you want to see her in a body bag?

Can I come back to you on that?

No, dear.

Shut up!

I'll drive.

I'll come with you. You can't drive.

If you don't follow, I'll kill them all!

Stop it!

Which way do I go?

Straight up, or I'll tell you different.

I don't think I can see much more.

About to a point.

I COULD T -

at weddings, don't you?

Especially me own.

Now being on the wrong end of a gangland
execution, my emotional bank is

drained, I'm afraid.

I hope it works out for him.

She's a lovely girl, that doll.

We ought to get her a special present.

What with?

We're jobless and potless again.

Jobless, yes.

Potless, no.

When I won that... at the casino, I
nicked a few quid.

How much?

I don't know.

Feels like a couple of grand.

Feels like?

I hid it in me knickers.

It's cool, isn't it?

What's the matter with you?

I want to spend it, not floss with it.

I'm going to have a nice drink after
this.

The bar... is going to be surprised when
he sees where you pull a £50 note.

I think he'd be more interested to see
where she puts the check.

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