Original subtitles

Oh, that's better.

You've had that bath too hot again. You've gone all red.

I need the stimulation, Trace.

These early nights are killing me.

That lady shave of yours is a bit severe, isn't it?

You didn't use that, did you?

They sum it up with a long -air trimmer. Oh, I know.

That's the Tour de France out this year.

Well, I hope you didn't leave that bath in a mess.

Just a couple of dead seabirds stuck up the side.

I'll be serious. I'll clean it up later.

Greenpeace couldn't clean up after you.

I know.

I'm an environmental disaster waiting to happen. Yeah, we're going to have

another one down that cafe if we don't get that health inspector's list sorted

out. It's all right.

George is laying there now.

At this time of the night?

Well, he can't do it during the day when we're open, can he?

Well, are you sure you can trust him, Cheryl? I mean, he's Chris's cousin.

There's no love lost between them two, I can tell you.

No, I put it down to pure greed on Chris's part. He reckons George will do

cheaper.

I'm going to bed.

You coming?

I think I'll give George a ring at the cafe.

You know, give him a bit of encouragement.

See how he's getting on, bless him.

Trace? Any chance of a bacon sandwich?

Definitely not.

I'll remember that.

It don't have to end here, you know.

Doesn't it?

We could, er... Yes?

We could go on somewhere else.

Well, I really ought to be in bed by now.

Oh, you see, I've got a little club.

Michael, listen to me. You mustn't think like that.

It's not the size of the wand, but there's still a hundred pieces there.

Ah, I own a nightclub.

Thank God for that.

And just round the corner, I thought we could nip in there for a quick one.

I beg your pardon?

Have the last drink?

Oh, what's it like?

Very Greek, very ethnic.

Very rough, you mean.

Or I could drop you home. No, I love ethnic.

Well, go round the back.

I'd love to pay him by surprise.

Only not to me.

You still at it then, George?

Look, I've got to tell you, mate, you're doing me a right good favour.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know.

Those environmental health people are like the Gestapo.

They are only obeying orders.

They're right awkward sods. Well, don't worry, love, we'll get there.

Well, you don't have to, do you? That's what families are for, isn't it?

No, I'm just doing another half hour, then I'm jacking it in.

Yeah, promise.

OK, shall.

See you Monday.

All right, lads, back on your eggs.

Now then, listen, I've only got the black label.

You'll have to come across it a bit more.

We'll see you tomorrow.

I'm doing kleptocon. Shall I save you one?

Right,

who ordered the doner?

Come on up.

George, my mean man, how's it going?

Michael, come in, come in. I just thought we'd drop in for the last one.

idea, come on in. This is my new girlfriend.

Very nice. Hello, darling, what's your name?

Call me Aphrodite, I'm in an ethnic vein tonight.

Come in.

Um, quiet down, lads.

Lady President, sit down.

Well, what can I get you? Would you like to eat something? No, no, no, nothing,

just a drink.

We shan't be staying long.

I'm having an early night.

Have some, is it?

Late at night.

Quite an ambrosticon. The food of the gods.

Oh, really? What is it?

Well, it's the roasted sweetmeats of a young billy goat.

In Cyprus, they give it to married men who've got no children. Would you like

it? Certainly not, but he'll have some.

Put it in one of those bread things and we'll take it with us.

I mustn't be late.

LAUGHTER

Fancy a bacon sandwich?

It's only half two.

That's early for us, isn't it?

Trace?

You got any cream?

Got any moisturising cream, Trace?

Tour de France.

I'm lucky if I can walk to the cafe.

that first thing in the morning.

Dead easy. Look.

You should at least have a cup of something first, Sharon.

Well, if you used to lend me your tea, I could have a nice cup of tea and a fag

in bed.

Oh, yeah, and you could burn nice little holes in me sheets as well.

Well, you don't use it.

That's not the point.

That tea's made reminds me of my Daryl.

No, I don't see it, Trace.

When he'd had his cup of tea in the morning, my Daryl couldn't move a

Milko.

One pint or two.

Dorian, what are you doing here at 7 .30 in the morning?

I could have danced all night until they begged for more.

Two pints of semi -skinned.

Yeah, half -cut like you.

Oh, coffee.

We help ourselves, do we, Tracey?

Can I, Trace?

Like you said, I ain't had nothing yet.

Oh, yeah, you work yourself, Sharon. Don't you go short of nothing. Oh, hot

croissant. Well, I must say you do a wonderful breakfast there, Tracy. Get

of it. What are you doing here? Where have you been?

Dancing for my Adonis.

I earned £600.

And still they begged for more.

Where was this exactly?

Michael. Michelangelo. Took me to one of his clubs.

I was the only woman amongst all those red -blooded Greeks.

Oh, they are so macho.

But then you know that already, don't you, Sharon?

Do I?

Dorian, what are you doing here? You want to go home and get yourself some

girl? Oh, no, I can't let Marcus see me in this state.

He'll want to look at my face and he'll know I'm in love.

He'll know you're in drink, that's for sure.

Very funny, Sharon.

It's remarks like that that cost you your marriage.

Yeah? Why don't you tell me sooner?

You see, you just don't understand the Greek mind. That's your problem, Sharon.

You have to be able to constantly metamorphosize into what they need.

Last night, I was Aphrodite, goddess of Cyprus, born from out of the foam.

What were you on, lager?

Oh, they are so earthy, so ethnic, so Greek.

I was Helen.

I was the face that launched a thousand ships.

What, they started firing food at you?

Ships, Tracy, not chips.

offerings. But they did chuck food, then.

It was ancient Greece all over again.

I was in the Acropolis.

And this is the really weird thing. I felt as if I'd been there before in a

previous life.

You knew where the bog was?

Oh, Marcus is going at long last.

Mind my lounge, are you English inadequate?

Oh, I must sleep.

Before Aisha returns again to bathe in the flame of eternal youth.

I must go to sleep.

been drinking that shell?

No, no, the milk's in, look.

Right, I'm off then. See you about one o 'clock.

No, I'm going to see Daryl. I won't be back till four.

Okay.

Oh, knickers.

We're closed.

Come back tomorrow.

It is tomorrow, George.

You didn't make it only.

What's that, Sharon?

No. By the time I knocked it on the other, didn't see much point.

So I crashed on the floor.

Soon be finished at this rate.

Yeah?

What are you doing here?

Had to be, innit?

Couldn't turn down the chance to feed the dozen or so wasters they're sent to

dig up the road again.

Waiting to start work, are they?

On the sporting life, yeah.

Yeah, I reckon the pavement's safe for a couple of weeks yet.

Right, I'd better go and get my stuff.

All right. You get yourself sorted out. I'll do you a nice bit of breakfast.

Just tea, thanks, Cheryl. I can't eat nothing till I've had a couple of

You're my kind of bloke, George.

Right, let's get this show on the road.

Kettle.

Music.

Ah.

An evening in Thrace.

Chris, you're still haunting me.

Talk to yourself, Sharon. Do you want to watch that?

Chris's all -time favourite blaring out from this thing. I thought I'd slung it

years ago.

It's mine. I had it on last night.

When I was tiling.

Yeah, Chris loves it.

That and a bottle of Cypriot brandy and you'd think he'd sprung a leak.

Tears streaming down his face. I'm so happy, Cheryl.

He's always been sensitive, Chris.

Yeah, so is my little rum barber, anyway.

All right. I'm visiting him this afternoon, as it happens.

Dirty job, but someone's got to do it, eh?

Oh, that poxy thing, it's been doing it all week.

Don't worry, I'll get it.

The magic bag, Angel.

If it ain't in here, it don't exist.

And she expects me to do her washing, cook her food, buy her fags.

Well, I don't actually buy them, she just smokes mine.

Well, it comes to the same thing, though, don't it, Trace? Look, she is

liberties. You want to make her walk downstairs in the mornings for her tea?

We have to.

Look, I'd better go.

Daryl's looking a bit gnarky over there.

Oh, right.

Listen, thanks for stopping by, Trace.

Always nice to chat up a bit of crumpet.

Cheeky. You always try talking to her.

I said crumpet, Tracey, not rock cake.

I can't fancy her for my life depending on it.

Now then, Christopher, this young lady's not your wife, is she?

She belongs to Mr Stubbs over there.

You trot along to your lovely husband.

Always keeps his hair so nice, Daryl.

All streaky.

I don't know how he manages it in here.

There you go.

Lovely cup of tea. Cheers, mate.

Listen, did you bring the money?

Yeah. Comes to a ton this week.

Right, aim it over then.

He's scum.

Feral? Always floats to the top.

He's the phone card king in here.

In the other places, it was all snout and tobacco, but in here, it's phone

And if you want one, you've got to see Chris.

What, bring your load in? Don't go crawling to him.

Oh, good, dear.

They only work inside prisons. They're special cards.

You've got to buy them in here at the prison shop.

You all right, son?

Visiting ain't over yet, were you, off? It's my mum. She ain't here. She's

always visiting, but she ain't here.

Oh, she's probably late, that's all. She'll turn up. Yeah, I'll give you a

when she gets here, if you want. Thanks, Dale.

What's he in for?

Computer fraud.

Spent night after night all alone in his bedroom on his PC doing merchant banks.

What, and they banked him up for it? That's a bit strong, isn't it? Should

just handcuffed him or something.

Look, find out his mum's number and I'll give her a ring. You can ring me at

home tonight and I'll tell you what's wrong.

Yeah, OK. I'll go and sort it out.

All right, handbag, you look well.

Watch it, Ponce.

I've never looked after you.

Oh, thanks, Amber.

Now, listen, you've fixed the meat, hasn't you? Don't worry, I've got it

Just checking, just checking.

Hey, do you fancy a biscuit?

No, thanks.

Well, I think I'll have one.

Amber!

Amber, get us a biscuit, right, and be quick about it, will you?

Yeah, coming up, Chris.

Who is that?

Amber, my new accessory.

I say, you need one in here when you're carrying these sort of reddies, I tell

you. Well, here's to sharing.

Our sleeping partner.

Don't say things like that.

Course I filled in right.

I'll go to bingo.

Aspirin.

Yes, it's electronic mugging.

Oh, don't worry.

I'll be there, all right.

Yes, thank you.

One of them meter cards.

My bill's going through the roof.

How's my fair lady this morning, then?

God, I feel awful.

What were they doing last night?

Making yourself 600 quid, apparently.

Yes, well, that's what I don't understand.

When I left the club, my blouse was stuffed full of money.

And? When I woke up, the cupboard was bare.

Nothing.

Drive you home, did he? Yes.

Good night kiss, was there?

7 .30 in the morning, that's all there was time for.

And you wonder where the money went.

How old are you, Dore?

Just a seething little ratbag.

I had one of me own for long enough. I know all the moves.

Sorry I'm late, Cheryl. I have to do Daryl a favour.

Blimey, they have relaxed the prison rules.

I have been on an errand of mercy.

You're quiet.

Making up for last night, are we?

Mercifully, I can't remember much about it. Hopefully it will all fade

completely with time.

Ooh, the peeling wallpaper, the rotting lino, the smell of rancid lamb fat

everywhere.

Sounds like your gaff shell.

Smoke alarm constantly going off, having to be prodded by something that should

only ever be used by a trained gynecologist.

What do you mean?

It's a folding thing. Got it from out of his bag.

Like a carpenter's rule?

Yes, a measuring thing.

the bag the magic bag where did you say this club was exactly

well you must know it it's near the cafe near the cafe by the wine bar

round the back you must know it hold up i've just fallen in

He was only trying to fix that spoken -arm theme this morning.

But Michael said it was his club.

I can't believe it. Oh, believe it. I wonder why it all looks so familiar.

I've been there in a previous life, you daft mare.

Right, get your coat on, Trace. We're going down the cask. But he won't be

yet. Exactly.

We can have a nose around, see how he's been working it.

You seen this Michael again?

Er, yes, this evening. I demanded to be taken back and forced to dance for them

again.

If that'll be for me, I'll take it next door. I like to talk dirty to my husband

in private.

You're going down there tonight, Dore. I need to find out how much I've been

losing. No, I couldn't possibly face that dreadful place again.

Please, Dore.

I need to know how much I've been done for. Never.

I feel so humiliated.

Listen, Cinderella.

He had his hand down your blast and all he got hold of was your money.

What time do you want me down there?

Right, okay, okay, here we are. Who wants one? Get your phone cards for the

weekend. Right, get them while they're fresh.

Now listen, right, it's strictly money or snow. No more court now, pay later.

You're all heart, aren't you, Chris?

It's for the wrong good, Del.

But most of us haven't had the benefit of going through the really tough

like what we had.

If it wasn't for you, you little git, I wouldn't have had the benefit either.

Give us them cards. Listen, don't do it, Del.

Look. Don't make me have to hurt you.

Don't make me have to set Ambag on you.

Ambag!

Get him off me. I've got a bit of news for you. Something a little bird just

told me. A little bit of crumpet.

All right, Ambag. All right, mate.

I can deal with this.

Well, we're mates, aren't we?

Don't let me out of your sight.

What happened?

You've been rumbled, son.

Sharon's touched you, mate.

You and that Giorgio are running some scam at the cafe, aren't you? He

do without your say -so.

Well, Sharon's done with it. Yeah.

Here, Dale, get one of me cards back, mate.

Well, I've got an urgent call to make, have you? Listen, just one card, mate.

I've got to kick George off before Sharon gets down the cab.

I've got to catch him before she does.

Oh, you'd better try and catch one of these, then.

Here you are, lad.

No! Let your fingers do the walking.

Get down there and get one of my cards.

Get these things off my cards. Hey, while you're down there, Chris, see if

can find us a biscuit.

The appendix dealt, just like my mum. Always moaning. So, get that card.

Chris? You owe me money, son.

Right, get out of the way.

Right,

that's you lot off the group four outing.

Handbag.

Handbag.

Handbag.

Oh, what's up?

Still here, then?

What's up?

Yeah, still here.

Haydock, Kempton, York, all rained off. Would you believe it?

We did a huge trade.

I dread to think what my bills are going to be.

We thought we'd set up for Mandy while we were here.

So, how long are we going to be here tonight, then?

Eh?

It's not another all -nighter, is it?

Oh, no, no.

Now I've got them childs off the back, I thought I might as well rewire behind

them while I can.

Render and make good tomorrow.

Render and make good, eh, George?

Well, don't you overdo it.

The amount of hours you put in this calf, George, Sharon must owe you a

Well, no, not really.

It's family, isn't it?

What? I don't owe you any money.

Don't be silly, George. Of course I do.

Listen, I'll do you a good price, all right?

It's family.

So, how's Chris been? All right?

Fine. Oh, he misses you, though.

Said he'd like to speak to you, didn't he, Trace?

Did he?

I wonder who that is.

Oh, that'd be the wife. I'll get it. Probably about the kid or something.

Sharon's care.

Me?

Six o 'clock Saturday. What's she still doing there?

It's funny.

Gone dead.

Well, if they ring back later, I'll give you a call at home, yeah?

I bet it's the phone, George.

Been playing up all day, hasn't it, Chase?

Yeah. We might as well swap it for one at home.

That's right. We could swap it for Dorothy.

He won't mind for a couple of days, will he, Chase?

Of course he won't. After all, it's family, isn't it?

Anyway, he'll keep him off them 0898s for a bit.

Right, well, we'd better be off then.

Bye, George.

Don't you overdo it.

See you, Trace.

Night, Sharon.

Catch you later, George.

Hello? Hello? Chris?

What's happening, Chris?

Does Sharon know anything?

Georgie, Georgie, mate, listen.

Listen.

Oh, no.

This phone card's had it.

Matthew, you snake.

What's up?

There's nothing left on this phone card. You give me a bummer. Oh, that reminds

me. Ambag wants to see you upstairs.

Oh, my God.

Right, who's got a phone card?

Come on, come on, guys.

again tomorrow.

That's it for tonight, I'm afraid, Chrissie.

Oh, no.

Please, Mrs Bullock, can't I just make one quick phone call?

I'll make it worth your while.

You can't have favourites, can I?

Right, let's have you out of here. It's well past time.

Come on.

Out.

So, how many clubs have you got, Michael?

A few. I've got a small interest in others. Oh, come on, you must be very

important. I bet you've got more clubs on silver downstairs.

Well, I don't like to talk about it too much, not in here. Why not?

Well, Giorgio's got to work for me, ain't he?

And no -one likes having to work for someone else, they do, though. Oh,

doesn't mind. He enjoys his work.

No, look, he's a very proud man, but he's scared of acting, I say, of what I

represent.

Giorgio's scared of you? He's not.

Giorgio!

You're not scared of Michael, are you?

No. Why?

Well, he said you're scared of him.

Scared of him? Don't make me laugh.

Why should I be scared of him?

Well, because he owns the club, of course, and you have to work for him.

I don't work for him. This is my club.

Oh, you own the place.

Well, I have a partner, but, yeah, I own the place.

Giddy -sibby.

Well, who is this partner? Where is he?

He's a very dangerous man, Theodophilopodus.

He's out of the country at the moment, but he trusts me to run it for him. So

owns the place, then.

And you and Aristotle own nothing here. You don't own anything, do you?

I heard that name recently. Not one you could easily forget, is it?

Oh, yeah.

Just now.

The large girl out the back loading her husband's shotgun.

You're right, Giorgio.

And you've got a very funny colour.

Oh, very good, very good.

You nearly had me going there. What have you been telling her? I said nothing,

honestly. Listen, darling, I'd stick to the belly dancing if I were you. Leave

the comedy out.

You don't believe me?

Wait, then.

I'll fetch her.

Where do you find these nutters?

Sharon Theodopoulopoulos!

This is your club!

I've just forgotten it's over.

Lock the door, Trace.

We don't want anyone leaving early for a change, do we?

Sit down, George.

I trusted you, George.

And you let me down like a cheap pair of tights.

What are you talking about?

They're helping me with the replastering. Sit down.

It's Greek cookery time.

I'm going to render and make good.

No. No.

That really tears my stomach.

Right, I think they'll take the wonder, eh? This is nothing to do with me. Stay

where you are, Peter Stringfellow.

Any of those thin, measly sausage things on the counter, Sharon?

This is what I think of your small, hidden... Oh, I feel sick.

Where's my money?

Tracy, talk to them, will you? They've both gone potty. Shut it, you two -faced

git. You've been ripping my sister off, which means you've been ripping me off

and all.

Where's them skewers, Shell? I've been a bit left out.

Oh, that's more like it.

Let's do Danny's.

Well,

I wonder who that can be.

Hello, George here.

Hand it over.

George, George, thank God I've got you, mate.

Listen, Sharon knows everything. It's all over. You've got to pack it in now.

Hey. And send me some money quick, right? Because our bags turned ugly and

had to walk everything to find you out of ours. And I mean everything.

You ain't got nothing, Chris.

Oh, my God.

I'm showing it.

Oh, my God. There.

Never mind.

Don't take on so.

They're not worth it, some of these girls.

Now.

Let's tuck you up back in bed, shall we?

Oh, no.

Look, Mrs Bellock. Oh, call me Ruby.

You've done very well, George.

I might consider keeping you on. Look, Cheryl, I'll finish all the work on my

life. Oh, you will, George.

You will.

Yeah, I could get quite used to this dosh in my Jack and Jill. I can't

dance.

Then you'd better learn, Aristotle.

Haven't you?