All language subtitles for Birds of a Feather s05e12 All Gone Pear Shaped

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,480 What'll I do? 2 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:44,580 My knickers in the tumble dry. I'd rather have to make do with them dodgy 3 00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:45,580 with the loose elastic. 4 00:00:49,140 --> 00:00:50,140 Juice? 5 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:51,920 Terrific colour, juice. 6 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,860 Here you go, Tracey. It'll do you for flashing. 7 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:56,840 Morning. Morning. 8 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:02,240 Call me an old perv, but there's something about a bloke in a pink fluffy 9 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:03,520 dressing gown that gets me going. 10 00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:06,080 Yeah, well, it's certainly got your sister going and all. 11 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:09,600 I'd better get dressed. 12 00:01:12,170 --> 00:01:15,830 And to think I used to make do with Simon Mayo and a bowl of Frosties of a 13 00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:16,830 morning. 14 00:01:16,890 --> 00:01:19,030 I wish you'd tell me when he's staying the night. 15 00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,150 You know I don't always shut the lavvy door. 16 00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:23,450 It's awful, Trace. 17 00:01:23,790 --> 00:01:27,550 And since you've done me bedroom up, it seems a shame to keep that Artex ceiling 18 00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:28,550 all to myself. 19 00:01:31,930 --> 00:01:33,990 Colin must have come round very early this morning. 20 00:01:35,230 --> 00:01:36,230 No, he didn't. 21 00:01:36,810 --> 00:01:39,010 That is his car in the drive, isn't it? 22 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,060 He's stayed the night, you nosy cow. 23 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,160 A whole new concept for you, Dawn. 24 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,640 Out of all your fellas, it's only poor old Marcus you wake up next to. 25 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,460 Not necessarily. Sometimes he sleeps in the spare room. 26 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,240 Because of your insatiable demands? 27 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,760 Because my night cream gives him hives. 28 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,400 Look at her, Trace. 29 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:03,000 She's gutted I found myself a great bloke. You're pig -sick, aren't you, 30 00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:04,100 I'm surprised. 31 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,640 With your track record, I thought you'd settle down with a flatulent bookmaker. 32 00:02:09,190 --> 00:02:11,650 Colin's good -looking, smart, honest. 33 00:02:12,290 --> 00:02:13,290 Mine. 34 00:02:20,550 --> 00:02:22,270 Oh, what a waste. 35 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,570 Great little bum and all. 36 00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:28,210 Go in. Don't treat me like a sex object. 37 00:02:28,490 --> 00:02:29,510 Oh, go on. My treat. 38 00:02:31,130 --> 00:02:35,250 Anyway, I was just wondering if you could pop next door sometime, give my 39 00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:37,150 security system the once -over. 40 00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:38,610 Bore the leg over. 41 00:02:39,950 --> 00:02:40,950 I'd better be off. 42 00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:45,250 Are we still on for tonight? 43 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,930 Maybe we could go out for a meal with your mate, like I keep promising. 44 00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:52,070 That off -licence job is hotting up. I reckon the governor will want me to work 45 00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:53,070 late. 46 00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:55,910 Unless, of course, it goes pear -shaped. 47 00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:00,290 Things are always going pear -shaped in the bill. 48 00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:03,890 It looks like I'm going to be couch potato -shaped tonight. 49 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,440 Anyone would think he didn't want me to meet his mates. 50 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,400 He's obviously seen the way you put away a deep pan pizza. 51 00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:13,200 Well, you could always come to Highdown with me and visit your Chris for a 52 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,200 change. 53 00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:15,660 Chris. 54 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,120 Chris. 55 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,740 No, I can't place him, Trace. 56 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,340 Have you told him about Colin? 57 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:28,160 Have you told Marcus about Luke and Jason and Pepe? And Nigel and Tom and 58 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,920 Bernie? And the Grindthorpe Colliery Band? 59 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,400 Only the horn section. 60 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:35,760 Of course not. 61 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,680 Why make him feel more inadequate? 62 00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:49,080 I wish you'd tell Chris about Colin. 63 00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:51,260 He'd feel much better if he came clean. 64 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,520 How much better can I feel? 65 00:03:53,940 --> 00:03:55,100 I'm ecstatic now. 66 00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:57,800 Yeah, but you know what I'm like at keeping a secret. 67 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,720 Every time Daryl asks me what you're doing, I have to lie. 68 00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:03,240 Last time I told him you're taking up snooker. 69 00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:04,980 Right on cue, eh? 70 00:04:05,820 --> 00:04:07,000 Yeah, am I any good at it? 71 00:04:07,220 --> 00:04:10,880 It ain't funny, but you might not mind lying to Chris, but me and Daryl have 72 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,340 always had a very honest relationship. 73 00:04:13,260 --> 00:04:14,260 Oh, right. 74 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,779 So you thought he went to work for stocking on his head to keep the flies 75 00:04:17,820 --> 00:04:18,820 eh? 76 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:20,320 I'm sorry. 77 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:22,640 I hope my ribs ain't crushing your elbows. 78 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,000 No, you're right. 79 00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:25,820 Glass of your mint. 80 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:27,700 Oh, what's that? 81 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:30,660 Cheers. I was after mint Imperials. 82 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,080 My car likes sucking you outside, though. 83 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,020 I mean, you can't really do that for Glastie and Mint, can you? 84 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,520 Don't worry. 85 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:41,240 Glastie and Mint's are more highly prized than Snout in there. They'll be 86 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,380 laughing. Really? 87 00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:44,300 Just winding you up. 88 00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:45,780 Yeah. 89 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,080 There's a black market in jelly tops, though. 90 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:50,540 Is this your first time? 91 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:54,780 Well, I saw them in the detention centre once, taking and driving away. 92 00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:57,320 Or it might have been breaking into gas meters. 93 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,580 So it's not exactly squeaky clean, then. 94 00:04:59,980 --> 00:05:03,380 Well, Carl's lawyer reckons he's the forgotten victim of a cruel, uncaring 95 00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:04,860 society. Really? 96 00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,420 My Chris is just a thieving tow rag. 97 00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:16,940 So that's Hayley, is it? 98 00:05:17,420 --> 00:05:20,000 Well, if she's like Madonna, I'm Michael Jackson. 99 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,260 No, you ain't. Your skin's too dark. 100 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,540 So what's that car win for, then? Credit card fraud. 101 00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:30,290 The pronker got nicked when he signed one of them slips with his own name. 102 00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:32,650 Kids today, eh? 103 00:05:32,970 --> 00:05:33,970 Got no idea. 104 00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:35,770 Oh, lovely. 105 00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:37,030 So what you been up to? 106 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,270 Coffee all right? 107 00:05:38,550 --> 00:05:40,950 Yeah, did Sharon ever get that game of snooker with Stephen Hendry? 108 00:05:43,970 --> 00:05:48,070 OK. So is my uncle, you know. It was nice of him to come and everything. 109 00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:51,350 But he talked the whole time about his irritating bowel. 110 00:05:52,450 --> 00:05:54,430 Then there was this prison visitor called Dorothy. 111 00:05:55,070 --> 00:05:56,670 I want it to bring Christ into my life. 112 00:05:57,410 --> 00:05:59,550 She'd have a job bringing deodorant into your life. 113 00:06:01,930 --> 00:06:02,970 Oh, where you been, Shell? 114 00:06:03,470 --> 00:06:05,250 I know you only come here to insult me. 115 00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:07,390 I don't just insult you here, Chris. 116 00:06:08,350 --> 00:06:09,350 I've missed you. 117 00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:11,230 I've been busy. 118 00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:12,930 Getting on with my life. 119 00:06:13,150 --> 00:06:14,170 What, a calf, you mean? 120 00:06:15,410 --> 00:06:17,210 Yeah. Yeah, the calf and all. 121 00:06:18,910 --> 00:06:20,170 You met someone else, didn't you? 122 00:06:21,350 --> 00:06:22,390 What makes you say that? 123 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,070 Well, I suppose it had to happen. 124 00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:28,520 I mean, I know you know Cindy Crawford, but some bloke was bound to go for your 125 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:29,520 sort eventually. 126 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,100 You did? 127 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:33,320 Yeah. 128 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,100 I remember the night we met, I couldn't keep my hands off you. 129 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,200 Yeah, and the next morning all my luncheon virtues were missing. 130 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:43,920 Is there someone else, Shell? 131 00:06:46,020 --> 00:06:47,020 Yeah. 132 00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:50,780 His name's Colin and he's, er, he's in computers. 133 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,520 Like his floppy disc, did you? 134 00:06:55,740 --> 00:06:59,380 I bloody knew it. When you stopped coming, I knew there had to be someone 135 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,400 Well, you needn't bother coming again. 136 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:04,100 Flag. 137 00:07:08,420 --> 00:07:10,040 Did you tell him about Colin? 138 00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:15,480 No, Trace. 139 00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:17,680 I told him Peter Pan was dead. 140 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,000 Who's Colin? 141 00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:28,800 This bloke Sharon's been seeing. He's a copper and she wasn't going to tell 142 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,960 Chris. And there she is. And I lied about the snooker. 143 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:35,140 My sister -in -law's strumping some scumbag in her filth. Do you mean she's 144 00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:37,200 actually... I can't believe it. 145 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,700 Does this mean she can't get me Stephen Hendry's autograph? 146 00:07:47,580 --> 00:07:50,280 Honestly, Sharon won't mind. Oh, she shall. 147 00:07:50,580 --> 00:07:51,580 Mind what? 148 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,640 Us giving Hayley this... to London. 149 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:54,980 She's lost her train ticket. 150 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,820 I'm always losing stuff. 151 00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:00,360 Do you know what my car says? It said I'd lose life if it weren't for Grosan. 152 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,800 Proper little Clive Anderson, isn't he? 153 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,320 No Nisby's? 154 00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:05,540 Carl Nisby. 155 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,520 I thought he took it quite well, all things considered. 156 00:08:24,260 --> 00:08:25,980 He called me a slag tray. 157 00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:30,320 That's hardly giving me his blessings and a set of non -stick saucepans, is 158 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:34,000 Well, it could have been worse. What with Colin's line of work and 159 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,200 I thought you had some same as Chris. 160 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,580 I didn't tell him Colin was a copper. 161 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:43,700 Well, it may be over between us, but I don't want the poor bastard to use his 162 00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:44,700 sheet as a necktie. 163 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,200 Colin. 164 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,640 Chris is my husband and he's a villain. 165 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,310 Colin. is my boyfriend and he's a copper. 166 00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:56,650 You are a passenger and it's 50 miles to London. 167 00:08:57,010 --> 00:08:59,110 Now suck on a glass, you mean. All right. 168 00:09:00,930 --> 00:09:04,790 Sorry, Tracy, could you run that by me again? I was busy with Kevin Costner. I 169 00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:05,790 wish. 170 00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:09,270 Promise me, Dore, that you won't tell Sharon that I told Daryl that Colin's a 171 00:09:09,270 --> 00:09:12,970 copper. Because if Sharon finds out that Chris has found out, because Daryl told 172 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:16,550 Chris, not that he has, but if he did, she'll never forgive me, OK? 173 00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:19,130 Oh, with a body like that, you can forgive him the crew cut. 174 00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:20,970 Yes, Tracy, I got that. 175 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:25,090 Like I was saying, Dore, she can't have been much older than Garfield, you poor 176 00:09:25,090 --> 00:09:26,170 cow. Hayley! 177 00:09:26,590 --> 00:09:27,650 Silly little tart. 178 00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:32,390 She only wanted to play I Spy with my little eye all the way home. 179 00:09:34,050 --> 00:09:36,070 And she thought S .O. began with an S. 180 00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:42,830 Love has obviously brought out the tolerance and compassion in you. 181 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,590 Take it from me, Trace, she's a loser. 182 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,520 Just like her, Carl. Just like my Chris. Oh, but he's not your Chris anymore. 183 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,800 Tracy tells me you've told him about Colin. 184 00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:53,200 But not that he was a copper. 185 00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:55,300 I never told you she told him that, did I, Dawn? 186 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,200 Oh, Chris. 187 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,200 I suppose he never expected you to meet someone else. 188 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,860 Have you ever had a teapot surgically removed from your throat? 189 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:10,200 You see, I have told enough men goodbye to understand the suffering he must be 190 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,200 going through. Yeah. Well, this is after 11 years of marriage. 191 00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:15,320 Not a quick tumble in the back of your motor. 192 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:16,879 What about the cafe? 193 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,100 Will you still be partners? 194 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:22,220 Can we expect a tug -of -love battle for custody of the tea urn? 195 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:28,280 I never realised that being happy could give me so much grief. 196 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,860 This ain't home and away, you know, Dorian. 197 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,320 This is my life. 198 00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:34,100 And in that time, you've got one of your own. 199 00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:42,700 How's it going, mate? 200 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:44,280 Oh, me? 201 00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:45,860 Terrific. Couldn't be better. 202 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:51,440 Me and the lads were, you know, talking and... I just wanted you to know... How 203 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,900 pleased you are it was me that got the Dear John treatment and not you? 204 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:55,160 Of course not. 205 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,620 Well, Mickey might have said something along them lines, but, you know, Mickey, 206 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:02,160 why talk out of your mouth when your bum could host a chat show? 207 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:07,780 You know, out of the two of us, I always thought you'd be the one seeing your 208 00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:08,840 marriage go banakazi. 209 00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:13,300 Oh, charming. Thanks a lot, mate. I mean, who is this Colin, anyway? 210 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,840 I mean, who fancy a bloke with a poncy name like that? 211 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,760 You're the one who landed it with Theodora Lovatis. 212 00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:24,300 Hey, I bet he wears an anorak and lives with his mum and never misses 213 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,300 neighbours. 214 00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,300 You never miss neighbours, Chris. 215 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,080 Only cos I like to bonk them two twins. 216 00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:34,960 And what does she see in a bloke that works in computers? 217 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:40,940 Tracey said he was a... Who said he worked in computers? 218 00:11:41,460 --> 00:11:42,480 Well, Sharon, of course. 219 00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:45,050 I mean, big deal. 220 00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:46,890 I could be in computers too. 221 00:11:47,350 --> 00:11:48,470 Someone show me how they work. 222 00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:52,790 Well, she ain't telling you the truth about this, Colin. 223 00:11:53,110 --> 00:11:54,790 Oh, she's definitely got another blow. 224 00:11:55,430 --> 00:11:57,130 The way she avoided my eyes. 225 00:11:57,870 --> 00:11:58,890 The way she behaved. 226 00:11:59,650 --> 00:12:02,110 The love bite the size of Manchester on the side of her neck. 227 00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:04,270 She ain't lying. 228 00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:06,230 Why do you ask? 229 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:08,810 Forget it. 230 00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:13,030 Here it is. 231 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:17,020 28th birthday present from Daryl. Is it a what's -it? A herpes? 232 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,320 Hermes! Now it's a fruit tree. 233 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,780 You used to get me some lovely presents. 234 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,760 Chris gave me a souvenir of Frinton headscarf. 235 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,580 He found it on a tube. 236 00:12:31,980 --> 00:12:37,140 Right. You have precisely 33 minutes to put on some smart clothes and a bit of 237 00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:38,140 make -up. 238 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,300 What's this? 239 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:40,440 Chopped liver? 240 00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:44,000 Sorry, Sharon, didn't realise you'd been trawling Oxfam today. 241 00:12:44,820 --> 00:12:45,820 Come on, Tracy. 242 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:47,420 Well, I ain't going nowhere special. 243 00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:48,499 Yes, you are. 244 00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:49,500 You both are. 245 00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:53,540 An old friend of mine, Pierre, has just opened a new restaurant in Epping. I've 246 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,640 been invited, plus a couple of friends, for a free meal tonight. 247 00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:58,360 Well, I've never known you two turn down a free meal. 248 00:12:58,800 --> 00:12:59,800 What do you say? 249 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:00,699 Take Marcus. 250 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:02,980 You know, that bloke standing next to you in your wedding photos. 251 00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:04,780 He's at a conference in Jersey. 252 00:13:05,580 --> 00:13:06,580 Or was it Cardigan? 253 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,040 I wasn't listening. 254 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,080 Oh, come on. 255 00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:12,940 Look, the table's booked for eight, and Sharon, promise me you will not tuck the 256 00:13:12,940 --> 00:13:14,100 tablecloth in under your chin. 257 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:16,860 I won't even drink out the finger bowl door. 258 00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:20,680 Some other time, eh? I'm finally meeting Colin's mates tonight. 259 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,460 Oh. Well, you'll come, won't you, Tracy? 260 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:28,960 Pierre's hired some stunning waiters. You know the thought. They undress you 261 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,580 with their eyes as they grind your pepper. 262 00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:33,460 Sorry, Dawn, going to the pictures with Hayley tonight. 263 00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:35,540 Oh, of course. 264 00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:40,100 I mean, why enjoy a gourmet meal with me when you could be chomping buttockies 265 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,760 with that intellectually challenged gonk? 266 00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:45,800 Still, as long as you're not taking it personally, I do. 267 00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:50,880 No. No, of course not. There are dozens of men who'd be only too thrilled to 268 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,000 suck raspberry coulis off my fingers. 269 00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:56,140 Well, Roger, for instance. 270 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,780 Yes, I met him this afternoon at the tennis club and he's dying to show me 271 00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:00,780 strokes. 272 00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:02,940 Oh, no, no, no, no. 273 00:14:09,439 --> 00:14:10,439 There you go. 274 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,620 Get your laughing tackle round there. A nice one. 275 00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:15,920 Hey, to us and a great result yesterday. 276 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:17,640 To us. 277 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,360 What great result? 278 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:21,760 Didn't Paul tell you? 279 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,000 We banged up this piece of scum we've been doing over building societies. 280 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,620 If it wasn't for our man at a match here, the whole thing might have gone 281 00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:29,620 -shaped. 282 00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:31,840 Mind you, what about Harry? 283 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:33,360 Yeah, terrible. 284 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:34,920 Here's to old Harry. 285 00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:37,040 Poor old Harry. 286 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:39,500 What about poor old Harry? 287 00:14:41,020 --> 00:14:42,500 Knifed in the chest by a crackhead. 288 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:44,280 Oh, my God. 289 00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:46,740 Have you ever been stabbed, Carl? 290 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,320 Has he ever been stabbed? 291 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,140 There was a time we used to call him the pincushion kid. 292 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,640 I thought his appendix scar was in a strange place. 293 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,580 You see, Sharon, it's the likes of us who have to keep the streets safe, and 294 00:14:58,580 --> 00:14:59,319 likes of you. 295 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,320 You and Batman. 296 00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:04,130 Sounds too good for some of them evil bastards we have to deal with. 297 00:15:04,410 --> 00:15:08,810 Yeah. Tell that to the Tottenham Three, and the Guildford Four, and the 298 00:15:08,810 --> 00:15:09,810 Birmingham Six. 299 00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:13,770 To poor old Harry. 300 00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:18,610 No, Roger, I quite understand. 301 00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:23,210 I couldn't possibly tear you away from the bedside of your sick grandmother. 302 00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:27,350 Is that her in the background singing Do You Think I'm Sexy? 303 00:15:28,670 --> 00:15:31,170 Yes. Some other time, Roger. 304 00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:32,650 Goodbye. 305 00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:37,330 I am a vibrant, sensual woman. 306 00:15:38,050 --> 00:15:39,690 Poor fool, he doesn't know what he's missing. 307 00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:46,230 Home alone. 308 00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:55,830 It was a joke. 309 00:15:56,150 --> 00:15:58,990 And what's your encore? Heard the one about the serial killer and the 310 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:03,260 Look, I'm sorry, Cole, but you've got to admit it was the only time they 311 00:16:03,260 --> 00:16:04,260 actually noticed me. 312 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,300 Cobblers, you were determined not to like them. Too bloody right. 313 00:16:08,180 --> 00:16:11,220 Eric actually thinks all shoplifters should be electrocuted. 314 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,920 Eric's a nice bloke once you get to know him. Oh, sure. 315 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,700 And Hannibal Lecter's a vegetarian. 316 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:33,520 Look, you've got to be tough to do what we do, Sharon. I'm Colin the Cop and not 317 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:34,520 Postman Pat. 318 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,560 I know. 319 00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:42,360 When we're at the pictures or in a restaurant together or under my duvet, I 320 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,760 forget what you are, what I am. 321 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,120 And then it hits me smack in the face, just like tonight. 322 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,180 Well, you know what we ought to do, then? 323 00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:53,980 What? 324 00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:55,960 Get back under the duvet. 325 00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:07,319 Nice evening. 326 00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:11,560 Great. If you like going for a drink with a load of brainwashed plods. 327 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,319 Colin's not a brainwashed plod. Not yet. 328 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:17,760 But it's like the Stepford Wives, isn't it? 329 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:22,819 They'll plug him into some machine and he'll come out with this glazed look in 330 00:17:22,819 --> 00:17:26,380 his eyes saying, it's all gone pear -shaped, guv. 331 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,000 We got them banged to rights, guv. 332 00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:31,980 Hello, hello, hello. 333 00:17:35,820 --> 00:17:37,060 Not dressed yet, I see. 334 00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:39,100 Did you go to the restaurant with Roger? 335 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:41,160 Is that raspberry watsit off your fingers? 336 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,400 And the rest. 337 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,840 Well, actually, that's why I came round. 338 00:17:45,420 --> 00:17:50,400 Roger was so intense and demanding that we never quite made it to the 339 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,480 restaurant. Another knot on your red ball, you mucky trollop. 340 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,640 So, I thought maybe we could go there for Sunday lunch. 341 00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,059 What do you say? 342 00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:01,880 Oh, I'd love to, dear. Only I'm taking Hayley's tea with the prisoner's wife. 343 00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,800 Poor Claire's in a right state at the moment. 344 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,500 And I suppose you're on patrol with Dixon of Doc Green. 345 00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:11,620 We're going for a drive this afternoon. 346 00:18:11,940 --> 00:18:13,480 Oh, how nice for you. 347 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,260 We'll be visiting DIY centres together soon. 348 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,520 This is the life, eh? 349 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,400 Lovely day. 350 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,280 Smashing fella. 351 00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:30,300 And... And? 352 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,960 And I've finally found a washing -up liquid that... 353 00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:37,810 Going to beat the grease and get kind to my hands. 354 00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:39,590 What more could you ask for, eh? 355 00:18:40,310 --> 00:18:41,710 It could always be like this. 356 00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:42,809 Oh, yes. 357 00:18:42,810 --> 00:18:47,210 We could chuck Chris and your job and everything down the car and flush them 358 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,090 away. But we don't have to. 359 00:18:49,870 --> 00:18:52,410 Because when we're together, we can forget about all that because it doesn't 360 00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:53,410 matter. 361 00:18:55,490 --> 00:18:57,890 I can forget about Chris. 362 00:18:58,710 --> 00:18:59,810 I've had years of practice. 363 00:19:01,230 --> 00:19:02,830 But can you forget about being a copper? 364 00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:04,090 Me a copper? 365 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,520 I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, computers, aren't they? 366 00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:16,860 What are you thinking about? 367 00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:19,039 Go on. 368 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,040 A penny for them. 369 00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:21,780 A fiver if they're really rude. 370 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:25,960 Cole. 371 00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:28,400 Bloop you, Reg, and this there. 372 00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:30,660 Just like the one in those off -licence jobs. 373 00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:33,060 I'd better call a gardener. 374 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,820 Why? You're in computers. 375 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,300 You never know. 376 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,840 Look, them Japanese car makers ain't stupid, Cole. 377 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:46,560 I wouldn't be surprised if they hadn't turned out, ooh, thousands of blue e 378 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:50,500 motors. All right, I get the message. Sorry, PC plot strikes again. 379 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,560 How can we forget you're a copper? If you're always on duty. 380 00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:57,340 If you're always assuming that everybody's up to no good. 381 00:19:58,580 --> 00:19:59,600 Trust me, Cole. 382 00:20:00,340 --> 00:20:03,640 The world ain't full of stolen motors and... 383 00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:06,880 Tooled -up crackheads and villains holding up off -life. 384 00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:13,860 You can relax. 385 00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:15,260 It's gone now. 386 00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:22,280 I thought I was a slag and you never wanted to see me again. 387 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,499 You are. 388 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:24,500 I don't. 389 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:25,800 So why's your phone? 390 00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:27,140 I want to see you again. 391 00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:29,140 To ask you something. 392 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,560 Well, I hope it's not who's better in bed, Chris. 393 00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:33,710 Because, believe me, you won't like the answer. 394 00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:36,030 It ain't that. 395 00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:39,010 I mean, let's face it. The only time the earth ever moved was when they 396 00:20:39,010 --> 00:20:41,850 demolished that tower block down the road. Will you shut up and listen for a 397 00:20:41,850 --> 00:20:43,070 minute? I need to come, you know. 398 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:46,930 I could have stayed at the cab and scrubbed out the chip fryer. Or seen 399 00:20:46,930 --> 00:20:47,930 the copper. 400 00:20:51,410 --> 00:20:52,790 Why didn't you tell me, Sharon? 401 00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:55,590 I didn't think it was important. 402 00:20:56,370 --> 00:20:57,370 Not important? 403 00:20:57,730 --> 00:20:58,770 Oh, Struth. 404 00:20:59,670 --> 00:21:02,810 Dear John turns into Dear Bill and you think it's not important? 405 00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:05,890 I had to find out from that spot in the light, you know, the one with the glass, 406 00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:06,950 you monster. 407 00:21:07,110 --> 00:21:10,010 Does everyone know but me, Shell? 408 00:21:11,410 --> 00:21:12,970 We ain't told Nigel Dempster yet. 409 00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:17,010 My credibility and my mates will go right out the window. 410 00:21:17,550 --> 00:21:18,550 You haven't got any? 411 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:19,610 What, credibility? 412 00:21:19,710 --> 00:21:20,710 Mates. 413 00:21:21,690 --> 00:21:24,770 Listen, Chris, how do you think I felt when you was dipping your wick all over 414 00:21:24,770 --> 00:21:25,770 Edmonton, eh? 415 00:21:26,190 --> 00:21:27,190 my credibility then? 416 00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:29,490 Yeah, I never did it with a policeman, though, did I? You might have got a 417 00:21:29,490 --> 00:21:36,450 lighter sense if you had. Look, all I'm saying... Look, all 418 00:21:36,450 --> 00:21:40,990 I'm saying is that if you dump me for a copper, I'll never be able to show my 419 00:21:40,990 --> 00:21:42,050 face in North London again. 420 00:21:42,430 --> 00:21:45,970 I might as well... Oh, leave it, Tat. 421 00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:49,390 You'd have a panic attack if you do up the top button on your shirt. 422 00:21:50,630 --> 00:21:54,010 Look, just because he's a copper... It ain't just that, Cheryl. Of course it 423 00:21:56,490 --> 00:21:57,490 be happy for me. 424 00:21:57,690 --> 00:22:02,070 But I found myself a kind, thoughtful, decent bloke. 425 00:22:02,430 --> 00:22:03,430 No. 426 00:22:03,710 --> 00:22:07,110 I don't want a kind, thoughtful, decent bloke to have you. 427 00:22:07,930 --> 00:22:12,650 I want a stupid, crappy, useless bloke to have you. 428 00:22:13,950 --> 00:22:14,950 Me. 429 00:22:20,430 --> 00:22:22,470 Eric and Paul are having a party on Saturday. 430 00:22:23,110 --> 00:22:24,270 But I said we were busy. 431 00:22:25,910 --> 00:22:28,790 Worried I'd turn up in my free Winston Silcott T -shirt, were you? 432 00:22:28,990 --> 00:22:29,990 Of course not. 433 00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:31,850 Mind you, it did cross my mind. 434 00:22:34,110 --> 00:22:35,110 Don't you want to go? 435 00:22:35,530 --> 00:22:36,970 No, not if you don't. 436 00:22:38,810 --> 00:22:40,150 We could go away for the weekend. 437 00:22:41,010 --> 00:22:42,270 Find a nice cosy hotel. 438 00:22:43,190 --> 00:22:44,790 Superglue do not disturb on a door knob. 439 00:22:45,930 --> 00:22:48,010 But it'd still all be you when we get back, wouldn't it? 440 00:22:48,770 --> 00:22:50,110 Not if we don't let it. 441 00:22:51,630 --> 00:22:52,830 It's like West Side Story. 442 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,260 You're a shark and I'm a jet. 443 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,180 You're Romeo and I'm Juliet. 444 00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:59,200 You say potato, I say potato. 445 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,100 I'm serious, Colin. 446 00:23:01,460 --> 00:23:02,460 I know. 447 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,080 Your forehead cramp was up. 448 00:23:05,260 --> 00:23:09,220 When I watched West Side Story, I went through a whole box of men's side 449 00:23:09,220 --> 00:23:10,220 tissues. 450 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:11,900 It ended really sad. 451 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:13,760 It doesn't have to. 452 00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:18,420 I don't care what Chris thinks or what Paula and Eric thinks. 453 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,060 It's our lives. 454 00:23:20,340 --> 00:23:23,630 Exactly. Because. to admit it, Cole, we're miles apart. 455 00:23:25,270 --> 00:23:28,890 You're such a good copper, you make Dixon and Doc Green look bent. 456 00:23:30,090 --> 00:23:31,710 But you're still a copper. 457 00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:35,010 I'm honest, law -abiding. 458 00:23:35,850 --> 00:23:37,750 Well, apart from EVAT returns. 459 00:23:38,310 --> 00:23:40,370 But I'm still mixed up with villains. 460 00:23:41,270 --> 00:23:42,790 We can't change that. 461 00:23:43,070 --> 00:23:44,070 We can. 462 00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:45,190 How? 463 00:23:46,090 --> 00:23:47,430 What if I gave up the force? 464 00:23:48,490 --> 00:23:50,270 I don't have to be a policeman. 465 00:23:50,810 --> 00:23:53,560 No. Look, I wouldn't mind. I would. 466 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,140 You're a good, honest, dedicated copper. 467 00:23:58,300 --> 00:24:01,920 I couldn't live with myself if I was the reason you gave it all up. I could go 468 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,680 into security. I could become a store detective or something. 469 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:09,140 And when you were nicking some old deer for stealing cat food, you'd get all 470 00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:14,240 restless and resentful that you weren't out with Eric and the lads, chasing drug 471 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,520 dealers and putting away rapists. 472 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,500 You'd blame me. 473 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,160 Only you wouldn't say so. 474 00:24:20,830 --> 00:24:24,410 But you'd give me the cold shoulder in bed, then we'd start rowing. Yes, you're 475 00:24:24,410 --> 00:24:25,410 right. 476 00:24:26,990 --> 00:24:28,930 Well, put up a bit of a fight, at least. 477 00:24:29,250 --> 00:24:30,250 No, you're right, Sharon. 478 00:24:31,150 --> 00:24:32,310 I couldn't give up the force. 479 00:24:32,930 --> 00:24:36,630 I mean, it's been rough, and sometimes I hate it, but it's all I know what to 480 00:24:36,630 --> 00:24:37,990 do. I'd be crap at anything else. 481 00:24:41,450 --> 00:24:42,870 We've had some good times, haven't we? 482 00:24:44,010 --> 00:24:45,010 Yeah. 483 00:24:46,710 --> 00:24:47,710 Do you, Anne? 484 00:24:53,740 --> 00:24:54,740 And poor old Harry. 485 00:24:57,980 --> 00:24:59,200 So, that's that, then. 486 00:25:00,180 --> 00:25:01,760 No copper for a brother -in -law. 487 00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:03,940 No free tickets to the policeman's ball. 488 00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:08,360 Hello, hello, hello's turned into goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 489 00:25:09,860 --> 00:25:10,940 I'm sorry, Cheryl. 490 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:12,400 I really liked Colin. 491 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:14,980 Of course, Chris will think I did it for him. 492 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:16,600 Maybe you did. 493 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,640 Of course I didn't. 494 00:25:17,740 --> 00:25:18,760 What's he ever done for me? 495 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,240 Apart from nip me post office book and sleep with me bridesmaid. 496 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:25,520 And how do you feel now? 497 00:25:27,540 --> 00:25:28,540 Sad. 498 00:25:29,260 --> 00:25:30,260 Relieved. 499 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:31,640 Depressed. 500 00:25:31,900 --> 00:25:34,600 Like I could eat ten Mars bars without taking off the wrappers. 501 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,020 Well, I'll cheer you up. Apparently I'm very good at it. 502 00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:40,499 Too so. 503 00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:41,500 Eh, Lee? 504 00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:46,040 Yeah, I know she's thicker than a plank sandwich, but I got her through a really 505 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:46,939 tough patch. 506 00:25:46,940 --> 00:25:50,820 I found her a flat, helped her apply for a job, and taught her to do joined -up 507 00:25:50,820 --> 00:25:51,820 writing. 508 00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:56,220 She won't thank you for it, Trace. She will. She has. 509 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,460 See, Shell, I looked at her and I saw meself. 510 00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:00,920 Your hair's nicer. 511 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,280 I saw what I was like when Daryl first got put away. 512 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,360 I went into one if I had to change a plug. 513 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:07,860 But I coped, didn't I? 514 00:26:08,180 --> 00:26:09,940 And now I've helped her to cope too. 515 00:26:10,620 --> 00:26:12,420 Well, good for you, Trace. 516 00:26:12,980 --> 00:26:16,060 As long as you promise me I never have to play I Spy with her again. 517 00:26:22,090 --> 00:26:23,090 Not troubling you, am I? 518 00:26:24,630 --> 00:26:26,870 Didn't know if you had company. Didn't want to be in the way. 519 00:26:28,390 --> 00:26:33,070 Spooky, isn't it? She looks like Dorian. She sounds like Dorian. But she's too 520 00:26:33,070 --> 00:26:36,250 nice to be Dorian. See, I have something to say. 521 00:26:38,270 --> 00:26:42,990 I know I have a tendency to barge in when I have nothing better to do and to 522 00:26:42,990 --> 00:26:43,990 outstay my welcome. 523 00:26:44,730 --> 00:26:49,170 But just recently, when you have been so busy with Hayley and Colin... 524 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,640 I realise just how much I value your friendship and your company. 525 00:26:55,380 --> 00:26:56,380 I missed you. 526 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,720 Who'd have thought I would be best friends with two coarse, foul -mouthed 527 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:03,800 criminal's wives like you? 528 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:06,660 Oh, she's back. 529 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,140 For a moment there, I thought we'd lost a trace. 530 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:13,140 So, um... How about going for that meal in the restaurant tonight? 531 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,340 If you have nothing better to do. 532 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:16,640 Didn't you go with Roger? 533 00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:20,890 No, he was so, uh... passionate and demanding. 534 00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:24,770 In the end, I had to tell him I was too busy nursing my sick grandmother. 535 00:27:26,290 --> 00:27:27,310 So are you free? 536 00:27:28,830 --> 00:27:29,830 I'm free. 537 00:27:30,270 --> 00:27:31,270 Completely and utterly. 538 00:27:32,070 --> 00:27:35,650 Is this the place where the waiters undress you with their eyes? 539 00:27:36,710 --> 00:27:37,710 Yes. 540 00:27:38,030 --> 00:27:39,710 I'd better put some clean knickers on, then. 541 00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:00,220 Still to come tonight on UK Gold. 39790

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.