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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:06,920 What will I do when you are gone? 2 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,800 Sharon, I've just had the most gorgeous man reading my meter. 3 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,280 Tom Cruise's eyes. 4 00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:49,060 Will Carling's smile. 5 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,600 Kevin Costner's bum. 6 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,860 Honestly, they do put them in some dark places. 7 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,740 Oh, I don't know, though. 8 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:04,920 Hello. 9 00:01:05,660 --> 00:01:07,900 Again. Don't you ever stop. 10 00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:09,840 Only to get my breath back. 11 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,780 Honestly, she's got a one -track mind. 12 00:01:13,210 --> 00:01:14,710 Nothing a cold shower won't cure. 13 00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:17,250 I've always had a soft spot for men in uniform. 14 00:01:17,690 --> 00:01:19,150 And out of uniform and all, I shouldn't wonder. 15 00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:20,690 See you. Cheers. 16 00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:22,610 A bientot. 17 00:01:28,490 --> 00:01:29,830 Oh, look at that rear. 18 00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:32,790 Like two peaches inside a handkerchief. 19 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,670 Yeah, you can't beat an ice bum. 20 00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:41,010 Chris may have been a complete washout as a human being, but he had a great 21 00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:42,010 little butt on him. 22 00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:45,490 Marcus thinks his is spreading, but I told him size isn't everything. 23 00:01:47,430 --> 00:01:48,430 Trace, is that you? 24 00:01:48,570 --> 00:01:49,570 No, it's Santa Claus. 25 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,130 Maddy, we're coming down chimneys. 26 00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:53,490 All right, all right, you sarky mare. 27 00:01:53,790 --> 00:01:57,610 I ain't being sarky. I've come bearing gifts. Oh, what are we celebrating? 28 00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:01,410 Probably just clinched Maidstone Prison's Stoppiest Wife of the Year 29 00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:04,790 I ain't been to Maidstone, clever cluck. Yes, you have. 30 00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:06,600 Where else would you be in your best gear? 31 00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:08,259 Oh, to meet a man, of course. 32 00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:10,479 That's your answer to everything, isn't it, Dor? 33 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,000 A man. 34 00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:14,900 Well, that or a box of Belgian truffles and the latest Jilly Cooper. 35 00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:17,800 Perhaps Dorian's right for a change. 36 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,920 Tracy, you dark horse. 37 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,840 Well, why else would I have bought this champagne? 38 00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:25,400 I knew this would happen. 39 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:29,480 You've met another fella and you've fallen in love and he's moving in here 40 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:30,640 you won't want me around anymore. 41 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,800 I'll end up in Cardboard City. 42 00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:36,770 Or else you'll move... Move in with him, I'll have to pay the mortgage on this 43 00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:39,010 place and I'll go bankrupt and I'll still end up in cardboard. 44 00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:41,290 What a job, you lemon. 45 00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:43,070 You mean I won't have to move out? 46 00:02:43,470 --> 00:02:47,790 The man I met is the sales manager of Leckham's Commercial Offset Printers and 47 00:02:47,790 --> 00:02:48,790 I'm now his secretary. 48 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:50,830 Temporary for now, but you never know. 49 00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:53,090 What about my bookkeeping, Sharon? 50 00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:57,210 Congratulations, Tracy. I'm dead proud of you, Tracy. What about your 51 00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:01,150 bookkeeping? Well, if you've got a job, who's going to do the cafeca? Sharon! 52 00:03:01,590 --> 00:03:04,330 I will, on a Sunday morning like I always do. 53 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:08,370 Now say something nice or you'll get this bottle of bubbly right up your 54 00:03:08,370 --> 00:03:09,370 column. 55 00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:14,050 Congratulations, Trace. I'm dead proud of you. 56 00:03:14,530 --> 00:03:17,490 So, what's this sales manager like? 57 00:03:18,170 --> 00:03:20,830 Grey quilted shoes and a Bobby Charlton hairdo? 58 00:03:21,530 --> 00:03:25,030 His name's Bill Steele and he's late thirties and he looks a bit like that 59 00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,490 newsreader with the twinkly eyes. 60 00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:28,370 Moira Stewart? 61 00:03:29,930 --> 00:03:31,630 Michael Pratt, you burk. 62 00:03:32,110 --> 00:03:33,570 I mean Burke, you prat. 63 00:03:34,870 --> 00:03:36,270 I've always liked Michael Burke. 64 00:03:36,490 --> 00:03:38,750 He talks about the recession with such humanity. 65 00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:43,090 So you'll be having this twinkly -eyed boss of yours up behind the filing 66 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:46,630 cabinets before you can say, take a letter, Miss Stubbs. You always have to 67 00:03:46,630 --> 00:03:47,690 lower the tone, don't you? 68 00:03:48,210 --> 00:03:49,870 Only if Dorian don't get there first. 69 00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,570 He's married, I'm married. 70 00:03:52,790 --> 00:03:54,530 He's the boss, I'm the secretary. 71 00:03:54,950 --> 00:03:56,510 All right, now let's party. 72 00:04:03,219 --> 00:04:04,480 Green fingers too, eh? 73 00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:07,380 I reckon you laughed at me too. I was trying to go faggins in it. 74 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,260 Is there no end to your talent? 75 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,420 Well, I did forget to cancel your meeting with George Bannerman last week. 76 00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:16,279 Yeah, but I got two grand order out of it, didn't I, eh? 77 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,000 What a pair, eh? 78 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,440 Better get on with that report if you want it for tomorrow. 79 00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:25,020 So, how are you settling in? 80 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,800 Terrific. I'm really grateful to you for taking me on when you could have had 81 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,540 some Kylie clone straight out of college. 82 00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:34,670 I've had it with brainless bimbos in lycra mini skirts that leave nothing to 83 00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:38,330 imagination. I know. Some of the skirts my Garth's girlfriends wear. I've got 84 00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:39,330 air bands wider. 85 00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:41,409 Oh, God. 86 00:04:41,410 --> 00:04:42,450 I've turned into me mother. 87 00:04:42,990 --> 00:04:45,930 Arthur, you're lying about your son's age. I'm not honest. 88 00:04:46,230 --> 00:04:47,390 He's 18, next birthday. 89 00:04:47,730 --> 00:04:49,830 Oh, you had him when you were seven. Now, which is it? 90 00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:55,090 I always thought at 18 I'd be working as a PA up west, sharing a flat with an 91 00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:57,690 air hostess and driving down King's Road in a sports car. 92 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,580 Not washing out nappies under a cold tap in Tottenham. 93 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,720 My garth did put the muckers on my career, which is why it's great to have 94 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,380 now. And it's great to have you here. I like a woman who's been around and knows 95 00:05:08,380 --> 00:05:09,680 how to handle a bloke like me. 96 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,400 The Hargreaves order. 97 00:05:14,820 --> 00:05:16,300 Frank wants your valued opinion. 98 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,560 Got to have someone else who's paid the wrong side this morning, Sheila. 99 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,900 Listen, Anne and I are going up to Fedley's lunchtime if you fancy coming. 100 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,180 can't. I've got to finish this report. 101 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,320 Tracey's very conscientious. I can spell that for you if you need to look it up 102 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:31,320 in her dictionary. 103 00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:32,619 Don't bother. 104 00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:34,920 We don't get much call for long words on reception. 105 00:05:37,340 --> 00:05:39,040 Blimey. Who's rattled her cage? 106 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,880 Steer well clear of that one, Tracey. She's not known as Sheila Blige for 107 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:43,880 nothing. 108 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:52,860 Trace, I'm on tenterhooks. I ain't been so excited since I last watched paint 109 00:05:52,860 --> 00:05:53,860 dry. 110 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:55,600 Here I come. 111 00:05:58,060 --> 00:05:59,019 Do you reckon it's OK? 112 00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:01,260 I mean, they said I could take it back if it clashed with the bride's outfit. 113 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:04,620 What bride's outfit? 114 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,800 Oh, you know what I'm like. I can't take something back unless I make up this 115 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,800 big story as to why it might be unsuitable. 116 00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:11,900 Unsuitable? Boom, boom! 117 00:06:13,420 --> 00:06:14,840 Look, just do what I do. 118 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,780 Say you bought it for someone and they died. 119 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,320 Look, I know it's a bit extravagant blowing my first wage packet on some new 120 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:22,920 gear, but I need some proper work clothes. 121 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,840 It's no skin off my nose what you do with your dosh. 122 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,080 You, er... So you spend it. Well, what about the skirt? 123 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,900 What about it? You don't think it's too short, do you? I don't want the world 124 00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,580 and his wife getting an eyeful of my jacksie. 125 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,920 I've seen you wear a lot shorter. 126 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,960 Remember that dress you bought to see the Osmonds at Wembley? You could have 127 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,900 corrupted little Jimmy every time you crossed your arms. 128 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,260 It's just I don't want to look like a brainless bimbo. 129 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:48,960 You won't. 130 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,680 You're too old. 131 00:06:54,660 --> 00:06:55,660 What do you reckon? 132 00:06:57,870 --> 00:06:59,350 I reckon it's a Blair's trace. 133 00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:01,650 Yeah, yeah, definitely. 134 00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:03,690 It's the two sleeves and the buttons. 135 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:08,690 It'll go with the suit, which it will as long as I don't take the jacket off. 136 00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:12,110 Well, I can't, can I? Well, I suppose I could if I put one of those cami things 137 00:07:12,110 --> 00:07:13,410 or a slip underneath it. 138 00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:15,610 What is your problem? 139 00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:17,170 It's a bit see -through. 140 00:07:17,450 --> 00:07:20,670 I meant, what's with the Mavis Riley impersonation? 141 00:07:21,430 --> 00:07:22,450 It's just cologne. 142 00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:23,730 I only wanted your opinion. 143 00:07:24,230 --> 00:07:25,230 Yeah, me. 144 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:29,820 last week had, and I quote, about as much style as a colourblind bag lady. 145 00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:33,320 I just wanted to be sure I looked business -like. 146 00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:36,660 Watching L .A. Law every week don't exactly prepare you for a palm of the 147 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:39,840 printers. Look, you've got a great little figure, so flunky. 148 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,500 And what if your blazer's a bit see -through? 149 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,820 Your bra ain't grey and held together with blue tack like mine. 150 00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:48,660 So stick a stock in it. 151 00:07:48,940 --> 00:07:50,280 Not your bra, your gob. 152 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,240 Tracey's with his lordship. 153 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:56,920 Does she know you're here? 154 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,680 No. Thought I'd surprise her. 155 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,000 All right, is he, this Bill bloke? 156 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,280 Oh, terrific. 157 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,800 If you like your fellas with permanent hardware. 158 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,720 So, what are you doing here? Thought I'd catch a lift home. 159 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,260 You all right, Tracey? 160 00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:15,139 I'm fine. 161 00:08:15,140 --> 00:08:16,200 Just pleased to see you. 162 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,040 This is my Sharon. I mean, this is my sister. 163 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:20,720 It's my pleasure. 164 00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:22,740 I bet it is. 165 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,420 Your sister's turning out to be the best secretary I've ever had. 166 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,380 How many of you have? 167 00:08:30,780 --> 00:08:33,360 I promised I'd give Sharon a lift to the doctors, didn't I, Cheryl? 168 00:08:34,299 --> 00:08:35,780 Oh, the doctors, yeah, that's right. 169 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:37,700 It's my eyes, you see. 170 00:08:38,659 --> 00:08:40,460 Sometimes I can't see what's going on. 171 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,440 And other times it all becomes crystal clear. 172 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,140 And what he did then? 173 00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:51,600 He was explaining the difference between offset printing and desktop publishing. 174 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,760 And we all know what he likes to do on top of desks. 175 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,700 And then he showed me this brochure as an example. 176 00:08:57,980 --> 00:09:00,300 And tell Dorian what kind of brochure it was. 177 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:04,160 I wonder if Perry Mason might just let the witness speak for himself. 178 00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:10,480 Objection overruled. It was naughty underwear and sex toys and stuff. 179 00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:13,240 Did it have my appointment to Dorian Green on the cover? 180 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,720 I have never ordered intimate appliances from a brochure in my life. 181 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,840 They're gifts from admirers. 182 00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:24,700 And I just said, haven't they done it nice? Meaning the printing. 183 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,760 Only he thought I meant what they were selling. 184 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,240 And he had her there for half an hour. 185 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,380 Asking her what kind of knickers she wears. 186 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,480 And has she ever done it in a stationary cupboard? 187 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:35,880 You'd have loved it. 188 00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:38,680 He did what? 189 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,500 You heard. 190 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:42,580 You're getting off on all this, aren't you? 191 00:09:44,490 --> 00:09:48,170 This I simply cannot tolerate. This is intolerable. 192 00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:50,630 Oh, Janet Regan must be too tight. 193 00:09:51,230 --> 00:09:52,330 The woman snapped. 194 00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:55,530 How dare he sexually harass an employee like that? 195 00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:57,870 Dorian, you're such an hypocrite. 196 00:09:58,410 --> 00:10:00,590 No, Sharon, I'm a feminist. 197 00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:02,830 Oh, and Norman LeMond's good at sum. 198 00:10:04,990 --> 00:10:08,750 What about that gas man last week? He was all over him like a rash. 199 00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:11,050 Well, that was different. That was reciprocated. 200 00:10:11,590 --> 00:10:14,030 Cobblers! That was a bit of harm. 201 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,320 This badinage to bring a smile to the face. 202 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:17,800 And a buzz to the loins. 203 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:23,460 The men I harass, I mean flirt with, are all willing. I wouldn't do it if they 204 00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:26,420 weren't. Tell that to the gardener. You wouldn't let out your potting shade. 205 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,540 No, mutual attraction is one thing. 206 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,720 Unwanted advances from someone exploiting a position of power is a 207 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,720 matter altogether. 208 00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:35,980 So what do I do? 209 00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:37,820 You're only a temp. 210 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,280 Kick him in the goalies and sling your hook. 211 00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:44,210 She's speaking out of her rear end. 212 00:10:45,030 --> 00:10:48,170 OK, Miss Burn Your Bra, what do you suggest? 213 00:10:48,530 --> 00:10:51,610 Well, I suggest that slinging your hook is an admission of guilt. 214 00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:54,650 But I ain't done nothing, and we really need the money. 215 00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:58,150 Precisely. Plus, it'll be a victory for that skunk of a boss if you do leave. 216 00:10:58,330 --> 00:11:01,350 And he'll whip out his brochure at the next temp and the next and the next. 217 00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:02,790 So what's your plan? 218 00:11:03,270 --> 00:11:05,090 Paint his private fluorescent pink? 219 00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:09,170 Publicly expose him in Lakeside Shopping Centre? 220 00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:11,530 It's a thought, isn't it? 221 00:11:12,850 --> 00:11:15,310 It's only a bit of office fun and I don't mind. 222 00:11:15,790 --> 00:11:17,630 And I'd like to do that job permanently. 223 00:11:17,950 --> 00:11:21,810 So would you please keep your big noses out of my business? I don't need you two 224 00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:23,050 interfering in my life. 225 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:26,770 She does. 226 00:11:29,510 --> 00:11:31,210 So what's new your side of the barbed wire? 227 00:11:32,470 --> 00:11:34,250 Garfield's got a thing about a girl called Melody. 228 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,810 Sharon's got a thing about chocolate chip ice cream. 229 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,330 And I've got a job. 230 00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:43,770 She ain't pregnant, is she? 231 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:49,350 Melody. No, Sharon. I mean, craving weird food all the time. That's a stint, 232 00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:50,810 Sharon's been pregnant since 1960. 233 00:11:53,430 --> 00:11:54,690 So what's his new job, then? 234 00:11:55,150 --> 00:11:56,150 Temporary secretary. 235 00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:57,710 Who to? 236 00:11:57,790 --> 00:12:00,150 The sales manager of a printer's in Palmer's Green. 237 00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:01,830 Oh. 238 00:12:02,350 --> 00:12:04,210 Well, what's he like, this sales manager? 239 00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:05,650 Yuppie, I suppose. 240 00:12:06,090 --> 00:12:10,290 Beryl, yuppies don't exist no more. It's all Essex men and classless societies 241 00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:11,290 now. 242 00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:12,390 Hit the go, innit? 243 00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:15,390 My era finally arrives and I spend it at Her Majesty's pleasure. 244 00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:20,630 His name's Bill and he's youngish and nice -looking and if you don't want me 245 00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:24,210 work for him because he might fancy me, well, not that he does, but if he did, 246 00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:25,350 then I'd understand. 247 00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:27,210 Why do you say that? 248 00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:28,870 Because I know how jealous you get. 249 00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:32,750 And I don't fancy him or nothing, but if you didn't want me to work for a nice 250 00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:35,230 -looking bloke like him while you're banged up in here, then I'd have to 251 00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:36,230 your wishes, wouldn't I? 252 00:12:36,550 --> 00:12:38,850 Don't be daft. I'm dead proud of you. 253 00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:40,469 Are you? 254 00:12:40,470 --> 00:12:42,110 Yeah. I look at you. 255 00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:44,590 You couldn't change a plug before I got nicked. 256 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:47,650 Now you're running a home, you're bringing up Garfield. 257 00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,650 Now you're holding down a job. 258 00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:52,090 And I've changed too, Tracy. 259 00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:55,870 I'm not going to let myself get jealous of every bloke you meet out there. 260 00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:59,970 It hurts you and it plays havoc with my digestion. 261 00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:02,790 Mind you, that could be the trickle tart that's over there. 262 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:06,850 So you don't want me to give up the job? You know I would if you said so. 263 00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:09,190 Of course not. You stick at it, girl. 264 00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:11,690 There's no substitute for hands -on experience. 265 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,440 Dinner is served. 266 00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:37,600 Can't have you working late without showing you how grateful I am. 267 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,200 Velma and Louise. 268 00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:45,620 Terrific. 269 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,020 What's it about, anyway? 270 00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:51,660 It's about two women throwing off the shackles of male oppression and taking 271 00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:55,520 the road in search of sanctuary, in search of themselves. 272 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,040 Don't you get nothing with Patrick Swayze in it? 273 00:13:59,660 --> 00:14:01,760 No, we've seen them all 12 times. 274 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,500 In fact, they won't let me hide dirty dancing anymore. I've worn it out. 275 00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:08,360 Don't you reckon we should wait for Tracy? 276 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:13,220 No. She knows the main feature starts at 7 .30. 277 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:18,720 She's obviously got something far more exciting to do than to be a couch potato 278 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:19,800 with us. 279 00:14:30,350 --> 00:14:31,890 It's a bit heavy on the garlic, isn't it? 280 00:14:32,850 --> 00:14:34,370 Still, as long as we're both eating it. 281 00:14:37,130 --> 00:14:38,390 Oh, go on, it's open now. 282 00:14:42,650 --> 00:14:44,110 Blokes are like wine bottles, you know, Tracy. 283 00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:47,510 Uncaulk them, and you've just got to carry on till they're finished. 284 00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:50,510 I'd better go, I'm expected. 285 00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:52,990 What, by that miserable -looking sister of yours? 286 00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:55,810 I'll tell you, love, you've got the looks and the brains in your family. 287 00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:59,310 It's very nice of you and everything, but she'll have my dinner ready. 288 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,640 Wouldn't hurt her to miss a meal or two. 289 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:08,360 Besides, I was thinking we might make a night of it. 290 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,160 What do you mean? 291 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:15,420 Why don't we let Latimer's flexible friend treat us to coffee and brandies 292 00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:16,339 the moat house? 293 00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:17,400 I shouldn't drink and drive. 294 00:15:17,780 --> 00:15:20,600 No problem. I can book us a room if we need to sleep it off. 295 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,600 Besides, it's going to be a while before you check into a three -star hotel 296 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:25,600 again with your Derek. 297 00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:28,380 Daryl. Daryl, sorry. 298 00:15:29,959 --> 00:15:33,380 Hey, I'm not passing any moral judgments here. I mean, he's done the crime, he's 299 00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:38,300 doing the time, but, well, he hasn't been under your duvet for a few years, 300 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,680 he? And I bet no one else has either. 301 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,740 Am I right or am I right? 302 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,040 Let your hair down. 303 00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:46,880 Live it up a bit. You deserve it, love. 304 00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:51,980 Besides, if you want this job permanent, we ought to get to know each other 305 00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:54,900 better. Make sure we don't rub up against each other. 306 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,420 In the workplace, of course. 307 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,800 I just remembered, your wife rang this afternoon to say could you pick up some 308 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,820 pampers on your way home. 309 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,520 I think she's got some herself by now. Very resourceful, Maureen. 310 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,960 Well, you have to be when your husband works late so often. 311 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:12,440 Very trusting and all, poor Claire. 312 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,640 Don't you worry yourself about her. 313 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:16,880 She gets on with her life. 314 00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:24,340 You know, the kids, her pottery classes, um, her pottery classes, and I get on 315 00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:25,340 with mine. 316 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:30,260 OK. So I play away once in a while. But why saddle a wonderful woman like her 317 00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:33,760 with the knowledge that she doesn't satisfy me physically, you see? I'm very 318 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,760 sensitive like that. 319 00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:36,140 Ain't you just? 320 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,360 So... What do you say? 321 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,420 I'll say some other time, eh? 322 00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:45,900 Pizza's given me headache. 323 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:49,860 I bet I'm allergic to the anchovies. Or it could be the olives. Although Sharon 324 00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:53,280 reckons it's the melted cheese, cos Welsh rabbits never agreed with me. 325 00:16:58,119 --> 00:16:59,120 Begging for it. 326 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:05,900 What a film, eh? 327 00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:07,960 It was my story. 328 00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:10,500 It was all about me. 329 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:12,920 No, it weren't. 330 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,599 The only similarity between you and Thelma is that you both checked out the 331 00:17:16,599 --> 00:17:18,540 contents of some young bloke's Levi's. 332 00:17:19,819 --> 00:17:21,220 He was a cracker, weren't he? 333 00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:22,599 Reminded me of Luke. 334 00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:26,780 Shall we hang on to it an extra day, so Tracy can see it? 335 00:17:27,109 --> 00:17:31,230 Yeah, might just jolt her into doing something about that toe rag she works 336 00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:32,950 And male chauvinist pigs might fly. 337 00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:35,310 I mean, what is it with Trace? 338 00:17:35,670 --> 00:17:38,610 I love her and everything, but sometimes she can be a right gunk. 339 00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:41,670 Well, if she won't do anything about Bill, perhaps we should. 340 00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:44,430 We could always do what Thelma and Louise did. 341 00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:45,810 What, drive off a cliff? 342 00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:49,570 Blow up his car, like they did to that dirty trucker. 343 00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:52,670 Sharon, this is Chigwell, not the Badlands of Dakota. 344 00:17:53,930 --> 00:17:57,470 We could plaster Palmer's green with posters telling women what a scumbag he 345 00:17:57,650 --> 00:18:01,990 And pay astronomical libel damages for the pleasure. That would really hurt 346 00:18:02,010 --> 00:18:02,629 wouldn't it? 347 00:18:02,630 --> 00:18:03,730 What are we going to do? 348 00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:06,250 Trace should be enjoying this job. 349 00:18:06,970 --> 00:18:10,070 Instead, she leaves her every morning looking like she's a Milda Marxist 350 00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:11,070 shoeshine girl. 351 00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:14,690 Perhaps we should respect her wishes. It's her problem, not ours. 352 00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:18,510 Trace! You've just missed a blinding video. 353 00:18:18,810 --> 00:18:20,170 We can watch it again if you want. 354 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,760 I don't want to watch no stupid video. I'm going to bed. 355 00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:30,440 How much Semtex does it take to blow up the average car? 356 00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:35,060 Will you stop it, Sal? 357 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:36,900 I ain't doing nothing. 358 00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:40,980 Except wondering if I couldn't just manage another slice of toast. 359 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:43,500 Hint, hint. 360 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,420 You know what you're doing. 361 00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:46,780 What? 362 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,420 Chewing me mouth open? 363 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,240 Getting Marge in the marmalade? 364 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,380 You're telling me to sing the hook at Latimer's? 365 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,000 I ain't said a word. 366 00:18:54,340 --> 00:18:57,200 You don't have to. Your body language has just given me an earful. 367 00:18:57,820 --> 00:19:00,080 Well, perhaps me and my body agree on this one. 368 00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:03,060 I mean, look at you. Yeah? What? 369 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,700 When you started this job, you was happy. You was confident. 370 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,000 You dressed nice. 371 00:19:09,580 --> 00:19:10,580 Now you look like me. 372 00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:13,500 I don't know what you're talking about. 373 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:14,800 Yes, you do. 374 00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:18,500 You're dressing all frumpy because you think it's your fault that Bill can't 375 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,580 keep his privates private. 376 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,420 You think wearing a baggy jumper and trousers will put him off? 377 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,120 Well, it won't, Trace. 378 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,860 Blokes like Phil wouldn't be put off if he was wrapped head to toe in cooking 379 00:19:28,860 --> 00:19:29,860 foil. 380 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:31,640 In fact, I bet it'd turn him on. 381 00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:35,180 Well, what else can I do? He thinks no means yes. 382 00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:38,040 He probably thinks nap off and die means yes, yes, yes. 383 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:39,660 I know you. 384 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,200 You ain't going to do anything, are you? I will, shall. 385 00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:43,500 In me own time. 386 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,200 I will. 387 00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:47,020 Well, let me fight me own battle. 388 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:51,710 What? Like... Pamela Jenkins in the brownies when she kept pulling your hair 389 00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:52,710 calling you rat's tails. 390 00:19:52,910 --> 00:19:55,090 Well, I would have sorted her out if you hadn't got there first. 391 00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:58,970 You'd have told us. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never 392 00:19:58,970 --> 00:19:59,970 hurt me. 393 00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:02,530 It was my punch up the bracket what sorted her out. 394 00:20:04,050 --> 00:20:06,250 And got us kicked out the brownies. Right. 395 00:20:06,530 --> 00:20:08,490 So the winner on two counts, weren't it? 396 00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:11,310 Look, you can't let him walk all over your train. 397 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:12,770 Who says I will? 398 00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:15,910 I do. 399 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,240 Feeling yourself again? 400 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,800 Yes, thanks. 401 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,940 I could feel yourself with you sometime. 402 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:31,720 You see, Tracy, what makes me a good sales manager is I've picked my target 403 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:32,639 I go for it. 404 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,580 And I don't let up till I've got it. 405 00:20:36,380 --> 00:20:39,780 Now, if you want this job permanent, you'd better understand that. 406 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,340 Oh, I understand, all right. 407 00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:44,460 So you won't mind working late again tonight? 408 00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:49,280 Area managers in reception for you. 409 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:50,880 Thank you, Sheila. 410 00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:53,400 You're looking particularly lovely today. 411 00:20:55,180 --> 00:20:56,180 See you later, Tracy. 412 00:20:58,620 --> 00:20:59,599 That's it. 413 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:00,600 I've had it. 414 00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,300 Anne, it's Tracy. 415 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:04,400 He's just gone. Are you ready? 416 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,280 OK. 417 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,100 You coming? 418 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:09,200 Oh, I'd love to. 419 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,760 But I've got to sort all this lot out by two. 420 00:21:21,260 --> 00:21:22,260 So that's Bill. 421 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,160 That's Bill. 422 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,840 Doesn't look a bit like Michael Burke. 423 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,480 But he's about to get his clammy claws into some other poor cow. 424 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:34,440 This following door. 425 00:22:55,210 --> 00:22:58,350 And as I'm sure you've seen from our sales figures, Latimans are one of the 426 00:22:58,350 --> 00:23:01,310 successful companies in the group. Actually, they're third from bottom, but 427 00:23:01,310 --> 00:23:02,310 who's counting? 428 00:23:15,870 --> 00:23:22,450 I never knew throwing off the shackles of male oppression could be such fun. 429 00:23:22,770 --> 00:23:24,450 They'll relue you to be proud of us. 430 00:23:53,420 --> 00:23:56,040 And, of course, I really think we're going to come into our own during the 431 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:56,939 financial year. 432 00:23:56,940 --> 00:23:57,940 Do you? Why's that? 433 00:23:58,820 --> 00:24:00,380 Gut instinct, Mrs Dawson. 434 00:24:00,620 --> 00:24:01,880 Or may I call you Vanessa? 435 00:24:02,260 --> 00:24:03,260 It's Valerie. 436 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,520 And no, you can't. 437 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:09,240 And, of course, once we're through the recession, we can... Tracy, what are you 438 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,180 doing here? Oh, I had to come. It's urgent. 439 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:13,540 Sorry, I'm Demoreen. 440 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:14,959 Demoreen's fine. 441 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:18,140 I've told her you'll be... working late. 442 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,160 What about it? 443 00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:21,900 What about what? 444 00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:24,200 Oh, don't come all innocent with me. 445 00:24:24,460 --> 00:24:25,520 Am I right so too? 446 00:24:26,060 --> 00:24:29,160 You've got Latin Miss Credit card and you've been dying to get inside my 447 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,160 knickers for weeks. 448 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,780 Is it then bed springs? 449 00:24:34,220 --> 00:24:35,680 I don't know what's got into her. 450 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,860 Tracy, go back to the office right now. 451 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,040 What? Do it on the desk, you mean? 452 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,080 Oh, yeah. 453 00:24:43,140 --> 00:24:46,060 He was always trying to get me to do it on the desk when I was a secretary. 454 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,600 But I wouldn't oblige, so he had me transferred to dispatch. 455 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,160 We could always do it in the warehouse. 456 00:24:53,580 --> 00:24:55,040 What, a threesome? Yeah. 457 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,420 You sure you're up to it, Bill? Me and all. 458 00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,420 You did promise, Bill Pet. 459 00:25:02,300 --> 00:25:03,300 And me. 460 00:25:03,660 --> 00:25:08,100 Hey, don't you forget that dirty brochure you're always bringing in here. 461 00:25:09,060 --> 00:25:10,320 Well, come on then, Bill. 462 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,700 Women are like open wine bottles. 463 00:25:12,940 --> 00:25:15,820 You get us going and there's just no stopping us. 464 00:25:21,219 --> 00:25:22,640 Women. They're all mad, aren't they? 465 00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:24,340 Present company accept it, of course. 466 00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:42,240 Shell, you'll never guess what. 467 00:25:42,700 --> 00:25:46,720 What? Bill apologised this afternoon for sexually harassing me. And Sheila, and 468 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,440 Anne, and half a dozen other women at Latinmouth. 469 00:25:48,810 --> 00:25:50,990 And ten minutes later, he was out on his ear. 470 00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:52,250 Yee -haw! 471 00:25:52,430 --> 00:25:56,030 The area manager was only having lunch with him to talk about redundancies. 472 00:25:56,230 --> 00:25:59,190 So when she heard what a scumbag he was, he was out on his ear. 473 00:25:59,410 --> 00:26:03,390 Of course, I've got the elbow too, but I'm dead proud of myself for the way I 474 00:26:03,390 --> 00:26:04,329 handled it. 475 00:26:04,330 --> 00:26:05,830 The way we handled it? 476 00:26:07,830 --> 00:26:08,830 What's it got to do with you? 477 00:26:09,570 --> 00:26:12,850 We told him how women react to male shackles. 478 00:26:13,710 --> 00:26:16,330 You mess with us, we mess with you. 479 00:26:16,860 --> 00:26:18,240 With three tons of ultimate. 480 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:21,480 Do what? 481 00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:24,940 Who do you think it was that filled his motor with steam? That was you. 482 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,480 That was us, weren't it, partner? 483 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:29,520 You idiots. 484 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,400 whoopsie on the upholstery, whoopsie in the stereo. 485 00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:54,700 She was furious. 486 00:26:55,960 --> 00:27:00,540 You didn't trust me, did you, Shell? It was Pamela Jenkins and the Brownies all 487 00:27:00,540 --> 00:27:01,540 over again. 488 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,880 Who's Pamela Jen... Tell me later. 489 00:27:05,660 --> 00:27:07,500 I said I'd thought Bill out and I did. 490 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,080 Yes, good for you, Trace. 491 00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:11,880 So why didn't you believe me? 492 00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:13,280 Well, it was Thelma and Louise. 493 00:27:13,900 --> 00:27:15,940 They inspired us to come to your aid. 494 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:17,200 Who are they? 495 00:27:18,030 --> 00:27:19,490 Look, we did it for you, Trace. 496 00:27:19,830 --> 00:27:21,990 We didn't enjoy a minute of it, did we, Dawn? 497 00:27:22,690 --> 00:27:24,250 Not even a microsecond. 498 00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:26,810 Well, you can tell that to the police. 499 00:27:27,790 --> 00:27:30,790 Well, you didn't think Miss Dawson would give you two dozen red roses for 500 00:27:30,790 --> 00:27:31,990 ruining her car, did you? 501 00:27:32,730 --> 00:27:34,530 She's called in the police? Of course. 502 00:27:34,790 --> 00:27:36,330 And they've got loads of witnesses. 503 00:27:37,370 --> 00:27:39,290 You reckoned you could sort out my problem. 504 00:27:39,530 --> 00:27:41,350 Now you can sort out your own, partner. 505 00:27:42,850 --> 00:27:44,110 Well, think of something, Sharon. 506 00:27:45,150 --> 00:27:47,390 If you can give us a criminal record, I'd rather die. 507 00:27:48,790 --> 00:27:50,250 I'm thinking, I'm thinking. 508 00:27:51,650 --> 00:27:52,870 And? And? 509 00:27:54,690 --> 00:27:56,830 I've heard Mexico's nice at this time of year. 38640

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