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1
00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:06,920
What will I do when you are gone?
2
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,800
Sharon, I've just had the most gorgeous
man reading my meter.
3
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,280
Tom Cruise's eyes.
4
00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:49,060
Will Carling's smile.
5
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,600
Kevin Costner's bum.
6
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,860
Honestly, they do put them in some dark
places.
7
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,740
Oh, I don't know, though.
8
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:04,920
Hello.
9
00:01:05,660 --> 00:01:07,900
Again. Don't you ever stop.
10
00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:09,840
Only to get my breath back.
11
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,780
Honestly, she's got a one -track mind.
12
00:01:13,210 --> 00:01:14,710
Nothing a cold shower won't cure.
13
00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:17,250
I've always had a soft spot for men in
uniform.
14
00:01:17,690 --> 00:01:19,150
And out of uniform and all, I shouldn't
wonder.
15
00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:20,690
See you. Cheers.
16
00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:22,610
A bientot.
17
00:01:28,490 --> 00:01:29,830
Oh, look at that rear.
18
00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:32,790
Like two peaches inside a handkerchief.
19
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,670
Yeah, you can't beat an ice bum.
20
00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:41,010
Chris may have been a complete washout
as a human being, but he had a great
21
00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:42,010
little butt on him.
22
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:45,490
Marcus thinks his is spreading, but I
told him size isn't everything.
23
00:01:47,430 --> 00:01:48,430
Trace, is that you?
24
00:01:48,570 --> 00:01:49,570
No, it's Santa Claus.
25
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,130
Maddy, we're coming down chimneys.
26
00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:53,490
All right, all right, you sarky mare.
27
00:01:53,790 --> 00:01:57,610
I ain't being sarky. I've come bearing
gifts. Oh, what are we celebrating?
28
00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:01,410
Probably just clinched Maidstone
Prison's Stoppiest Wife of the Year
29
00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:04,790
I ain't been to Maidstone, clever cluck.
Yes, you have.
30
00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:06,600
Where else would you be in your best
gear?
31
00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:08,259
Oh, to meet a man, of course.
32
00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:10,479
That's your answer to everything, isn't
it, Dor?
33
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,000
A man.
34
00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:14,900
Well, that or a box of Belgian truffles
and the latest Jilly Cooper.
35
00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:17,800
Perhaps Dorian's right for a change.
36
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,920
Tracy, you dark horse.
37
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,840
Well, why else would I have bought this
champagne?
38
00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:25,400
I knew this would happen.
39
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:29,480
You've met another fella and you've
fallen in love and he's moving in here
40
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:30,640
you won't want me around anymore.
41
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,800
I'll end up in Cardboard City.
42
00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:36,770
Or else you'll move... Move in with him,
I'll have to pay the mortgage on this
43
00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:39,010
place and I'll go bankrupt and I'll
still end up in cardboard.
44
00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:41,290
What a job, you lemon.
45
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:43,070
You mean I won't have to move out?
46
00:02:43,470 --> 00:02:47,790
The man I met is the sales manager of
Leckham's Commercial Offset Printers and
47
00:02:47,790 --> 00:02:48,790
I'm now his secretary.
48
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:50,830
Temporary for now, but you never know.
49
00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:53,090
What about my bookkeeping, Sharon?
50
00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:57,210
Congratulations, Tracy. I'm dead proud
of you, Tracy. What about your
51
00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:01,150
bookkeeping? Well, if you've got a job,
who's going to do the cafeca? Sharon!
52
00:03:01,590 --> 00:03:04,330
I will, on a Sunday morning like I
always do.
53
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:08,370
Now say something nice or you'll get
this bottle of bubbly right up your
54
00:03:08,370 --> 00:03:09,370
column.
55
00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:14,050
Congratulations, Trace. I'm dead proud
of you.
56
00:03:14,530 --> 00:03:17,490
So, what's this sales manager like?
57
00:03:18,170 --> 00:03:20,830
Grey quilted shoes and a Bobby Charlton
hairdo?
58
00:03:21,530 --> 00:03:25,030
His name's Bill Steele and he's late
thirties and he looks a bit like that
59
00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,490
newsreader with the twinkly eyes.
60
00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:28,370
Moira Stewart?
61
00:03:29,930 --> 00:03:31,630
Michael Pratt, you burk.
62
00:03:32,110 --> 00:03:33,570
I mean Burke, you prat.
63
00:03:34,870 --> 00:03:36,270
I've always liked Michael Burke.
64
00:03:36,490 --> 00:03:38,750
He talks about the recession with such
humanity.
65
00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:43,090
So you'll be having this twinkly -eyed
boss of yours up behind the filing
66
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:46,630
cabinets before you can say, take a
letter, Miss Stubbs. You always have to
67
00:03:46,630 --> 00:03:47,690
lower the tone, don't you?
68
00:03:48,210 --> 00:03:49,870
Only if Dorian don't get there first.
69
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,570
He's married, I'm married.
70
00:03:52,790 --> 00:03:54,530
He's the boss, I'm the secretary.
71
00:03:54,950 --> 00:03:56,510
All right, now let's party.
72
00:04:03,219 --> 00:04:04,480
Green fingers too, eh?
73
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:07,380
I reckon you laughed at me too. I was
trying to go faggins in it.
74
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,260
Is there no end to your talent?
75
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,420
Well, I did forget to cancel your
meeting with George Bannerman last week.
76
00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:16,279
Yeah, but I got two grand order out of
it, didn't I, eh?
77
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,000
What a pair, eh?
78
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,440
Better get on with that report if you
want it for tomorrow.
79
00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:25,020
So, how are you settling in?
80
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,800
Terrific. I'm really grateful to you for
taking me on when you could have had
81
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,540
some Kylie clone straight out of
college.
82
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:34,670
I've had it with brainless bimbos in
lycra mini skirts that leave nothing to
83
00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:38,330
imagination. I know. Some of the skirts
my Garth's girlfriends wear. I've got
84
00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:39,330
air bands wider.
85
00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:41,409
Oh, God.
86
00:04:41,410 --> 00:04:42,450
I've turned into me mother.
87
00:04:42,990 --> 00:04:45,930
Arthur, you're lying about your son's
age. I'm not honest.
88
00:04:46,230 --> 00:04:47,390
He's 18, next birthday.
89
00:04:47,730 --> 00:04:49,830
Oh, you had him when you were seven.
Now, which is it?
90
00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:55,090
I always thought at 18 I'd be working as
a PA up west, sharing a flat with an
91
00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:57,690
air hostess and driving down King's Road
in a sports car.
92
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,580
Not washing out nappies under a cold tap
in Tottenham.
93
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,720
My garth did put the muckers on my
career, which is why it's great to have
94
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,380
now. And it's great to have you here. I
like a woman who's been around and knows
95
00:05:08,380 --> 00:05:09,680
how to handle a bloke like me.
96
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,400
The Hargreaves order.
97
00:05:14,820 --> 00:05:16,300
Frank wants your valued opinion.
98
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,560
Got to have someone else who's paid the
wrong side this morning, Sheila.
99
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,900
Listen, Anne and I are going up to
Fedley's lunchtime if you fancy coming.
100
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,180
can't. I've got to finish this report.
101
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,320
Tracey's very conscientious. I can spell
that for you if you need to look it up
102
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:31,320
in her dictionary.
103
00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:32,619
Don't bother.
104
00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:34,920
We don't get much call for long words on
reception.
105
00:05:37,340 --> 00:05:39,040
Blimey. Who's rattled her cage?
106
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,880
Steer well clear of that one, Tracey.
She's not known as Sheila Blige for
107
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:43,880
nothing.
108
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:52,860
Trace, I'm on tenterhooks. I ain't been
so excited since I last watched paint
109
00:05:52,860 --> 00:05:53,860
dry.
110
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:55,600
Here I come.
111
00:05:58,060 --> 00:05:59,019
Do you reckon it's OK?
112
00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:01,260
I mean, they said I could take it back
if it clashed with the bride's outfit.
113
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:04,620
What bride's outfit?
114
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,800
Oh, you know what I'm like. I can't take
something back unless I make up this
115
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,800
big story as to why it might be
unsuitable.
116
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:11,900
Unsuitable? Boom, boom!
117
00:06:13,420 --> 00:06:14,840
Look, just do what I do.
118
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,780
Say you bought it for someone and they
died.
119
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,320
Look, I know it's a bit extravagant
blowing my first wage packet on some new
120
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:22,920
gear, but I need some proper work
clothes.
121
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,840
It's no skin off my nose what you do
with your dosh.
122
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,080
You, er... So you spend it. Well, what
about the skirt?
123
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,900
What about it? You don't think it's too
short, do you? I don't want the world
124
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,580
and his wife getting an eyeful of my
jacksie.
125
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,920
I've seen you wear a lot shorter.
126
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,960
Remember that dress you bought to see
the Osmonds at Wembley? You could have
127
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,900
corrupted little Jimmy every time you
crossed your arms.
128
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,260
It's just I don't want to look like a
brainless bimbo.
129
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:48,960
You won't.
130
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,680
You're too old.
131
00:06:54,660 --> 00:06:55,660
What do you reckon?
132
00:06:57,870 --> 00:06:59,350
I reckon it's a Blair's trace.
133
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:01,650
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
134
00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:03,690
It's the two sleeves and the buttons.
135
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:08,690
It'll go with the suit, which it will as
long as I don't take the jacket off.
136
00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:12,110
Well, I can't, can I? Well, I suppose I
could if I put one of those cami things
137
00:07:12,110 --> 00:07:13,410
or a slip underneath it.
138
00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:15,610
What is your problem?
139
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:17,170
It's a bit see -through.
140
00:07:17,450 --> 00:07:20,670
I meant, what's with the Mavis Riley
impersonation?
141
00:07:21,430 --> 00:07:22,450
It's just cologne.
142
00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:23,730
I only wanted your opinion.
143
00:07:24,230 --> 00:07:25,230
Yeah, me.
144
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:29,820
last week had, and I quote, about as
much style as a colourblind bag lady.
145
00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:33,320
I just wanted to be sure I looked
business -like.
146
00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:36,660
Watching L .A. Law every week don't
exactly prepare you for a palm of the
147
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:39,840
printers. Look, you've got a great
little figure, so flunky.
148
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,500
And what if your blazer's a bit see
-through?
149
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,820
Your bra ain't grey and held together
with blue tack like mine.
150
00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:48,660
So stick a stock in it.
151
00:07:48,940 --> 00:07:50,280
Not your bra, your gob.
152
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,240
Tracey's with his lordship.
153
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:56,920
Does she know you're here?
154
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,680
No. Thought I'd surprise her.
155
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,000
All right, is he, this Bill bloke?
156
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,280
Oh, terrific.
157
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,800
If you like your fellas with permanent
hardware.
158
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,720
So, what are you doing here? Thought I'd
catch a lift home.
159
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,260
You all right, Tracey?
160
00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:15,139
I'm fine.
161
00:08:15,140 --> 00:08:16,200
Just pleased to see you.
162
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,040
This is my Sharon. I mean, this is my
sister.
163
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:20,720
It's my pleasure.
164
00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:22,740
I bet it is.
165
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,420
Your sister's turning out to be the best
secretary I've ever had.
166
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,380
How many of you have?
167
00:08:30,780 --> 00:08:33,360
I promised I'd give Sharon a lift to the
doctors, didn't I, Cheryl?
168
00:08:34,299 --> 00:08:35,780
Oh, the doctors, yeah, that's right.
169
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:37,700
It's my eyes, you see.
170
00:08:38,659 --> 00:08:40,460
Sometimes I can't see what's going on.
171
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,440
And other times it all becomes crystal
clear.
172
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,140
And what he did then?
173
00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:51,600
He was explaining the difference between
offset printing and desktop publishing.
174
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,760
And we all know what he likes to do on
top of desks.
175
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,700
And then he showed me this brochure as
an example.
176
00:08:57,980 --> 00:09:00,300
And tell Dorian what kind of brochure it
was.
177
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:04,160
I wonder if Perry Mason might just let
the witness speak for himself.
178
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:10,480
Objection overruled. It was naughty
underwear and sex toys and stuff.
179
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:13,240
Did it have my appointment to Dorian
Green on the cover?
180
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,720
I have never ordered intimate appliances
from a brochure in my life.
181
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,840
They're gifts from admirers.
182
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:24,700
And I just said, haven't they done it
nice? Meaning the printing.
183
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,760
Only he thought I meant what they were
selling.
184
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,240
And he had her there for half an hour.
185
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,380
Asking her what kind of knickers she
wears.
186
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,480
And has she ever done it in a stationary
cupboard?
187
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:35,880
You'd have loved it.
188
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:38,680
He did what?
189
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,500
You heard.
190
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:42,580
You're getting off on all this, aren't
you?
191
00:09:44,490 --> 00:09:48,170
This I simply cannot tolerate. This is
intolerable.
192
00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:50,630
Oh, Janet Regan must be too tight.
193
00:09:51,230 --> 00:09:52,330
The woman snapped.
194
00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:55,530
How dare he sexually harass an employee
like that?
195
00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:57,870
Dorian, you're such an hypocrite.
196
00:09:58,410 --> 00:10:00,590
No, Sharon, I'm a feminist.
197
00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:02,830
Oh, and Norman LeMond's good at sum.
198
00:10:04,990 --> 00:10:08,750
What about that gas man last week? He
was all over him like a rash.
199
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:11,050
Well, that was different. That was
reciprocated.
200
00:10:11,590 --> 00:10:14,030
Cobblers! That was a bit of harm.
201
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,320
This badinage to bring a smile to the
face.
202
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:17,800
And a buzz to the loins.
203
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:23,460
The men I harass, I mean flirt with, are
all willing. I wouldn't do it if they
204
00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:26,420
weren't. Tell that to the gardener. You
wouldn't let out your potting shade.
205
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,540
No, mutual attraction is one thing.
206
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,720
Unwanted advances from someone
exploiting a position of power is a
207
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:34,720
matter altogether.
208
00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:35,980
So what do I do?
209
00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:37,820
You're only a temp.
210
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,280
Kick him in the goalies and sling your
hook.
211
00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:44,210
She's speaking out of her rear end.
212
00:10:45,030 --> 00:10:48,170
OK, Miss Burn Your Bra, what do you
suggest?
213
00:10:48,530 --> 00:10:51,610
Well, I suggest that slinging your hook
is an admission of guilt.
214
00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:54,650
But I ain't done nothing, and we really
need the money.
215
00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:58,150
Precisely. Plus, it'll be a victory for
that skunk of a boss if you do leave.
216
00:10:58,330 --> 00:11:01,350
And he'll whip out his brochure at the
next temp and the next and the next.
217
00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:02,790
So what's your plan?
218
00:11:03,270 --> 00:11:05,090
Paint his private fluorescent pink?
219
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:09,170
Publicly expose him in Lakeside Shopping
Centre?
220
00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:11,530
It's a thought, isn't it?
221
00:11:12,850 --> 00:11:15,310
It's only a bit of office fun and I
don't mind.
222
00:11:15,790 --> 00:11:17,630
And I'd like to do that job permanently.
223
00:11:17,950 --> 00:11:21,810
So would you please keep your big noses
out of my business? I don't need you two
224
00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:23,050
interfering in my life.
225
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:26,770
She does.
226
00:11:29,510 --> 00:11:31,210
So what's new your side of the barbed
wire?
227
00:11:32,470 --> 00:11:34,250
Garfield's got a thing about a girl
called Melody.
228
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,810
Sharon's got a thing about chocolate
chip ice cream.
229
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,330
And I've got a job.
230
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:43,770
She ain't pregnant, is she?
231
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:49,350
Melody. No, Sharon. I mean, craving
weird food all the time. That's a stint,
232
00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:50,810
Sharon's been pregnant since 1960.
233
00:11:53,430 --> 00:11:54,690
So what's his new job, then?
234
00:11:55,150 --> 00:11:56,150
Temporary secretary.
235
00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:57,710
Who to?
236
00:11:57,790 --> 00:12:00,150
The sales manager of a printer's in
Palmer's Green.
237
00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:01,830
Oh.
238
00:12:02,350 --> 00:12:04,210
Well, what's he like, this sales
manager?
239
00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:05,650
Yuppie, I suppose.
240
00:12:06,090 --> 00:12:10,290
Beryl, yuppies don't exist no more. It's
all Essex men and classless societies
241
00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:11,290
now.
242
00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:12,390
Hit the go, innit?
243
00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:15,390
My era finally arrives and I spend it at
Her Majesty's pleasure.
244
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:20,630
His name's Bill and he's youngish and
nice -looking and if you don't want me
245
00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:24,210
work for him because he might fancy me,
well, not that he does, but if he did,
246
00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:25,350
then I'd understand.
247
00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:27,210
Why do you say that?
248
00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:28,870
Because I know how jealous you get.
249
00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:32,750
And I don't fancy him or nothing, but if
you didn't want me to work for a nice
250
00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:35,230
-looking bloke like him while you're
banged up in here, then I'd have to
251
00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:36,230
your wishes, wouldn't I?
252
00:12:36,550 --> 00:12:38,850
Don't be daft. I'm dead proud of you.
253
00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:40,469
Are you?
254
00:12:40,470 --> 00:12:42,110
Yeah. I look at you.
255
00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:44,590
You couldn't change a plug before I got
nicked.
256
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:47,650
Now you're running a home, you're
bringing up Garfield.
257
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,650
Now you're holding down a job.
258
00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:52,090
And I've changed too, Tracy.
259
00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:55,870
I'm not going to let myself get jealous
of every bloke you meet out there.
260
00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:59,970
It hurts you and it plays havoc with my
digestion.
261
00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:02,790
Mind you, that could be the trickle tart
that's over there.
262
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:06,850
So you don't want me to give up the job?
You know I would if you said so.
263
00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:09,190
Of course not. You stick at it, girl.
264
00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:11,690
There's no substitute for hands -on
experience.
265
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,440
Dinner is served.
266
00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:37,600
Can't have you working late without
showing you how grateful I am.
267
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,200
Velma and Louise.
268
00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:45,620
Terrific.
269
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:47,020
What's it about, anyway?
270
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:51,660
It's about two women throwing off the
shackles of male oppression and taking
271
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:55,520
the road in search of sanctuary, in
search of themselves.
272
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,040
Don't you get nothing with Patrick
Swayze in it?
273
00:13:59,660 --> 00:14:01,760
No, we've seen them all 12 times.
274
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,500
In fact, they won't let me hide dirty
dancing anymore. I've worn it out.
275
00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:08,360
Don't you reckon we should wait for
Tracy?
276
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:13,220
No. She knows the main feature starts at
7 .30.
277
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:18,720
She's obviously got something far more
exciting to do than to be a couch potato
278
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:19,800
with us.
279
00:14:30,350 --> 00:14:31,890
It's a bit heavy on the garlic, isn't
it?
280
00:14:32,850 --> 00:14:34,370
Still, as long as we're both eating it.
281
00:14:37,130 --> 00:14:38,390
Oh, go on, it's open now.
282
00:14:42,650 --> 00:14:44,110
Blokes are like wine bottles, you know,
Tracy.
283
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:47,510
Uncaulk them, and you've just got to
carry on till they're finished.
284
00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:50,510
I'd better go, I'm expected.
285
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:52,990
What, by that miserable -looking sister
of yours?
286
00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:55,810
I'll tell you, love, you've got the
looks and the brains in your family.
287
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:59,310
It's very nice of you and everything,
but she'll have my dinner ready.
288
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,640
Wouldn't hurt her to miss a meal or two.
289
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:08,360
Besides, I was thinking we might make a
night of it.
290
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,160
What do you mean?
291
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:15,420
Why don't we let Latimer's flexible
friend treat us to coffee and brandies
292
00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:16,339
the moat house?
293
00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:17,400
I shouldn't drink and drive.
294
00:15:17,780 --> 00:15:20,600
No problem. I can book us a room if we
need to sleep it off.
295
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,600
Besides, it's going to be a while before
you check into a three -star hotel
296
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:25,600
again with your Derek.
297
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:28,380
Daryl. Daryl, sorry.
298
00:15:29,959 --> 00:15:33,380
Hey, I'm not passing any moral judgments
here. I mean, he's done the crime, he's
299
00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:38,300
doing the time, but, well, he hasn't
been under your duvet for a few years,
300
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,680
he? And I bet no one else has either.
301
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,740
Am I right or am I right?
302
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,040
Let your hair down.
303
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:46,880
Live it up a bit. You deserve it, love.
304
00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:51,980
Besides, if you want this job permanent,
we ought to get to know each other
305
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:54,900
better. Make sure we don't rub up
against each other.
306
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,420
In the workplace, of course.
307
00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,800
I just remembered, your wife rang this
afternoon to say could you pick up some
308
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,820
pampers on your way home.
309
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,520
I think she's got some herself by now.
Very resourceful, Maureen.
310
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,960
Well, you have to be when your husband
works late so often.
311
00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:12,440
Very trusting and all, poor Claire.
312
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,640
Don't you worry yourself about her.
313
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:16,880
She gets on with her life.
314
00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:24,340
You know, the kids, her pottery classes,
um, her pottery classes, and I get on
315
00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:25,340
with mine.
316
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:30,260
OK. So I play away once in a while. But
why saddle a wonderful woman like her
317
00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:33,760
with the knowledge that she doesn't
satisfy me physically, you see? I'm very
318
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,760
sensitive like that.
319
00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:36,140
Ain't you just?
320
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,360
So... What do you say?
321
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,420
I'll say some other time, eh?
322
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:45,900
Pizza's given me headache.
323
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:49,860
I bet I'm allergic to the anchovies. Or
it could be the olives. Although Sharon
324
00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:53,280
reckons it's the melted cheese, cos
Welsh rabbits never agreed with me.
325
00:16:58,119 --> 00:16:59,120
Begging for it.
326
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:05,900
What a film, eh?
327
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:07,960
It was my story.
328
00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:10,500
It was all about me.
329
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:12,920
No, it weren't.
330
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,599
The only similarity between you and
Thelma is that you both checked out the
331
00:17:16,599 --> 00:17:18,540
contents of some young bloke's Levi's.
332
00:17:19,819 --> 00:17:21,220
He was a cracker, weren't he?
333
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:22,599
Reminded me of Luke.
334
00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:26,780
Shall we hang on to it an extra day, so
Tracy can see it?
335
00:17:27,109 --> 00:17:31,230
Yeah, might just jolt her into doing
something about that toe rag she works
336
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:32,950
And male chauvinist pigs might fly.
337
00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:35,310
I mean, what is it with Trace?
338
00:17:35,670 --> 00:17:38,610
I love her and everything, but sometimes
she can be a right gunk.
339
00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:41,670
Well, if she won't do anything about
Bill, perhaps we should.
340
00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:44,430
We could always do what Thelma and
Louise did.
341
00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:45,810
What, drive off a cliff?
342
00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:49,570
Blow up his car, like they did to that
dirty trucker.
343
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:52,670
Sharon, this is Chigwell, not the
Badlands of Dakota.
344
00:17:53,930 --> 00:17:57,470
We could plaster Palmer's green with
posters telling women what a scumbag he
345
00:17:57,650 --> 00:18:01,990
And pay astronomical libel damages for
the pleasure. That would really hurt
346
00:18:02,010 --> 00:18:02,629
wouldn't it?
347
00:18:02,630 --> 00:18:03,730
What are we going to do?
348
00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:06,250
Trace should be enjoying this job.
349
00:18:06,970 --> 00:18:10,070
Instead, she leaves her every morning
looking like she's a Milda Marxist
350
00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:11,070
shoeshine girl.
351
00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:14,690
Perhaps we should respect her wishes.
It's her problem, not ours.
352
00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:18,510
Trace! You've just missed a blinding
video.
353
00:18:18,810 --> 00:18:20,170
We can watch it again if you want.
354
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,760
I don't want to watch no stupid video.
I'm going to bed.
355
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:30,440
How much Semtex does it take to blow up
the average car?
356
00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:35,060
Will you stop it, Sal?
357
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:36,900
I ain't doing nothing.
358
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:40,980
Except wondering if I couldn't just
manage another slice of toast.
359
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:43,500
Hint, hint.
360
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,420
You know what you're doing.
361
00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:46,780
What?
362
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,420
Chewing me mouth open?
363
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,240
Getting Marge in the marmalade?
364
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,380
You're telling me to sing the hook at
Latimer's?
365
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,000
I ain't said a word.
366
00:18:54,340 --> 00:18:57,200
You don't have to. Your body language
has just given me an earful.
367
00:18:57,820 --> 00:19:00,080
Well, perhaps me and my body agree on
this one.
368
00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:03,060
I mean, look at you. Yeah? What?
369
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,700
When you started this job, you was
happy. You was confident.
370
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,000
You dressed nice.
371
00:19:09,580 --> 00:19:10,580
Now you look like me.
372
00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:13,500
I don't know what you're talking about.
373
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:14,800
Yes, you do.
374
00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:18,500
You're dressing all frumpy because you
think it's your fault that Bill can't
375
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,580
keep his privates private.
376
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,420
You think wearing a baggy jumper and
trousers will put him off?
377
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,120
Well, it won't, Trace.
378
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,860
Blokes like Phil wouldn't be put off if
he was wrapped head to toe in cooking
379
00:19:28,860 --> 00:19:29,860
foil.
380
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:31,640
In fact, I bet it'd turn him on.
381
00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:35,180
Well, what else can I do? He thinks no
means yes.
382
00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:38,040
He probably thinks nap off and die means
yes, yes, yes.
383
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:39,660
I know you.
384
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,200
You ain't going to do anything, are you?
I will, shall.
385
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:43,500
In me own time.
386
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,200
I will.
387
00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:47,020
Well, let me fight me own battle.
388
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:51,710
What? Like... Pamela Jenkins in the
brownies when she kept pulling your hair
389
00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:52,710
calling you rat's tails.
390
00:19:52,910 --> 00:19:55,090
Well, I would have sorted her out if you
hadn't got there first.
391
00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:58,970
You'd have told us. Sticks and stones
may break my bones, but names will never
392
00:19:58,970 --> 00:19:59,970
hurt me.
393
00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:02,530
It was my punch up the bracket what
sorted her out.
394
00:20:04,050 --> 00:20:06,250
And got us kicked out the brownies.
Right.
395
00:20:06,530 --> 00:20:08,490
So the winner on two counts, weren't it?
396
00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:11,310
Look, you can't let him walk all over
your train.
397
00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:12,770
Who says I will?
398
00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:15,910
I do.
399
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,240
Feeling yourself again?
400
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,800
Yes, thanks.
401
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,940
I could feel yourself with you sometime.
402
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:31,720
You see, Tracy, what makes me a good
sales manager is I've picked my target
403
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:32,639
I go for it.
404
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,580
And I don't let up till I've got it.
405
00:20:36,380 --> 00:20:39,780
Now, if you want this job permanent,
you'd better understand that.
406
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,340
Oh, I understand, all right.
407
00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:44,460
So you won't mind working late again
tonight?
408
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:49,280
Area managers in reception for you.
409
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:50,880
Thank you, Sheila.
410
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:53,400
You're looking particularly lovely
today.
411
00:20:55,180 --> 00:20:56,180
See you later, Tracy.
412
00:20:58,620 --> 00:20:59,599
That's it.
413
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:00,600
I've had it.
414
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,300
Anne, it's Tracy.
415
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:04,400
He's just gone. Are you ready?
416
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,280
OK.
417
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,100
You coming?
418
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:09,200
Oh, I'd love to.
419
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,760
But I've got to sort all this lot out by
two.
420
00:21:21,260 --> 00:21:22,260
So that's Bill.
421
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,160
That's Bill.
422
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,840
Doesn't look a bit like Michael Burke.
423
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,480
But he's about to get his clammy claws
into some other poor cow.
424
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:34,440
This following door.
425
00:22:55,210 --> 00:22:58,350
And as I'm sure you've seen from our
sales figures, Latimans are one of the
426
00:22:58,350 --> 00:23:01,310
successful companies in the group.
Actually, they're third from bottom, but
427
00:23:01,310 --> 00:23:02,310
who's counting?
428
00:23:15,870 --> 00:23:22,450
I never knew throwing off the shackles
of male oppression could be such fun.
429
00:23:22,770 --> 00:23:24,450
They'll relue you to be proud of us.
430
00:23:53,420 --> 00:23:56,040
And, of course, I really think we're
going to come into our own during the
431
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:56,939
financial year.
432
00:23:56,940 --> 00:23:57,940
Do you? Why's that?
433
00:23:58,820 --> 00:24:00,380
Gut instinct, Mrs Dawson.
434
00:24:00,620 --> 00:24:01,880
Or may I call you Vanessa?
435
00:24:02,260 --> 00:24:03,260
It's Valerie.
436
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,520
And no, you can't.
437
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:09,240
And, of course, once we're through the
recession, we can... Tracy, what are you
438
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,180
doing here? Oh, I had to come. It's
urgent.
439
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:13,540
Sorry, I'm Demoreen.
440
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:14,959
Demoreen's fine.
441
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:18,140
I've told her you'll be... working late.
442
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,160
What about it?
443
00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:21,900
What about what?
444
00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:24,200
Oh, don't come all innocent with me.
445
00:24:24,460 --> 00:24:25,520
Am I right so too?
446
00:24:26,060 --> 00:24:29,160
You've got Latin Miss Credit card and
you've been dying to get inside my
447
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,160
knickers for weeks.
448
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,780
Is it then bed springs?
449
00:24:34,220 --> 00:24:35,680
I don't know what's got into her.
450
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,860
Tracy, go back to the office right now.
451
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,040
What? Do it on the desk, you mean?
452
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,080
Oh, yeah.
453
00:24:43,140 --> 00:24:46,060
He was always trying to get me to do it
on the desk when I was a secretary.
454
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,600
But I wouldn't oblige, so he had me
transferred to dispatch.
455
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,160
We could always do it in the warehouse.
456
00:24:53,580 --> 00:24:55,040
What, a threesome? Yeah.
457
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,420
You sure you're up to it, Bill? Me and
all.
458
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,420
You did promise, Bill Pet.
459
00:25:02,300 --> 00:25:03,300
And me.
460
00:25:03,660 --> 00:25:08,100
Hey, don't you forget that dirty
brochure you're always bringing in here.
461
00:25:09,060 --> 00:25:10,320
Well, come on then, Bill.
462
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,700
Women are like open wine bottles.
463
00:25:12,940 --> 00:25:15,820
You get us going and there's just no
stopping us.
464
00:25:21,219 --> 00:25:22,640
Women. They're all mad, aren't they?
465
00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:24,340
Present company accept it, of course.
466
00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:42,240
Shell, you'll never guess what.
467
00:25:42,700 --> 00:25:46,720
What? Bill apologised this afternoon for
sexually harassing me. And Sheila, and
468
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,440
Anne, and half a dozen other women at
Latinmouth.
469
00:25:48,810 --> 00:25:50,990
And ten minutes later, he was out on his
ear.
470
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:52,250
Yee -haw!
471
00:25:52,430 --> 00:25:56,030
The area manager was only having lunch
with him to talk about redundancies.
472
00:25:56,230 --> 00:25:59,190
So when she heard what a scumbag he was,
he was out on his ear.
473
00:25:59,410 --> 00:26:03,390
Of course, I've got the elbow too, but
I'm dead proud of myself for the way I
474
00:26:03,390 --> 00:26:04,329
handled it.
475
00:26:04,330 --> 00:26:05,830
The way we handled it?
476
00:26:07,830 --> 00:26:08,830
What's it got to do with you?
477
00:26:09,570 --> 00:26:12,850
We told him how women react to male
shackles.
478
00:26:13,710 --> 00:26:16,330
You mess with us, we mess with you.
479
00:26:16,860 --> 00:26:18,240
With three tons of ultimate.
480
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:21,480
Do what?
481
00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:24,940
Who do you think it was that filled his
motor with steam? That was you.
482
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,480
That was us, weren't it, partner?
483
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:29,520
You idiots.
484
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,400
whoopsie on the upholstery, whoopsie in
the stereo.
485
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:54,700
She was furious.
486
00:26:55,960 --> 00:27:00,540
You didn't trust me, did you, Shell? It
was Pamela Jenkins and the Brownies all
487
00:27:00,540 --> 00:27:01,540
over again.
488
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,880
Who's Pamela Jen... Tell me later.
489
00:27:05,660 --> 00:27:07,500
I said I'd thought Bill out and I did.
490
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:10,080
Yes, good for you, Trace.
491
00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:11,880
So why didn't you believe me?
492
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:13,280
Well, it was Thelma and Louise.
493
00:27:13,900 --> 00:27:15,940
They inspired us to come to your aid.
494
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:17,200
Who are they?
495
00:27:18,030 --> 00:27:19,490
Look, we did it for you, Trace.
496
00:27:19,830 --> 00:27:21,990
We didn't enjoy a minute of it, did we,
Dawn?
497
00:27:22,690 --> 00:27:24,250
Not even a microsecond.
498
00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:26,810
Well, you can tell that to the police.
499
00:27:27,790 --> 00:27:30,790
Well, you didn't think Miss Dawson would
give you two dozen red roses for
500
00:27:30,790 --> 00:27:31,990
ruining her car, did you?
501
00:27:32,730 --> 00:27:34,530
She's called in the police? Of course.
502
00:27:34,790 --> 00:27:36,330
And they've got loads of witnesses.
503
00:27:37,370 --> 00:27:39,290
You reckoned you could sort out my
problem.
504
00:27:39,530 --> 00:27:41,350
Now you can sort out your own, partner.
505
00:27:42,850 --> 00:27:44,110
Well, think of something, Sharon.
506
00:27:45,150 --> 00:27:47,390
If you can give us a criminal record,
I'd rather die.
507
00:27:48,790 --> 00:27:50,250
I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
508
00:27:51,650 --> 00:27:52,870
And? And?
509
00:27:54,690 --> 00:27:56,830
I've heard Mexico's nice at this time of
year.
38640
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