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1
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What will I do when you are far
2
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:12,500
away and I am blue?
3
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:18,439
What will I do when I'm alone
4
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:24,780
with only dreams of you?
5
00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:58,899
Sorry.
6
00:00:59,490 --> 00:01:01,330
Vic, can we hit it?
7
00:01:02,570 --> 00:01:03,730
Sit back and push off.
8
00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:07,620
I can't, Vic.
9
00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:09,610
It's like Mastermind.
10
00:01:09,830 --> 00:01:11,570
I've started, so I've got to finish.
11
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:19,780
It's a little bit...
12
00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:29,510
Hello, Chrissie.
13
00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:32,140
Oh, hello, pal.
14
00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:34,660
Just keeping your feet warm for you.
15
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:41,200
You know, Kip had two grand poker
winnings. He told me to whistle for it.
16
00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:42,270
he whistled for us.
17
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,900
So we bought the debt. And now you owe
us three grand.
18
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,060
Three grand? Be fair.
19
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:50,360
It'll be four next month.
20
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,140
It's like the Chancellor says.
21
00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:54,120
Interest rates are a crude weapon.
22
00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:55,390
Well, they were.
23
00:01:56,590 --> 00:01:59,300
We all know about crude weapons, don't
we, Chrissie?
24
00:01:59,530 --> 00:02:02,180
Yeah, where am I going to get my hands
on three grand?
25
00:02:02,450 --> 00:02:04,870
You could sell your body to medical
science.
26
00:02:06,450 --> 00:02:08,630
If they'll have it after we finish with
it.
27
00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:15,500
OK,
28
00:02:21,170 --> 00:02:23,390
girls, so this is the tiebreaker.
29
00:02:23,870 --> 00:02:29,269
Cupid already knows Steve's secret movie
fantasy, but you have to guess. Is it
30
00:02:29,270 --> 00:02:33,609
A, to make wild, passionate love on a
beach as the tide sweeps in, like Burt
31
00:02:33,610 --> 00:02:35,410
Lancaster in From Here to Eternity?
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00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,040
B,
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00:02:37,870 --> 00:02:41,569
to lie on a huge four -poster while a
beautiful woman disrobes to Ravel's
34
00:02:41,570 --> 00:02:43,930
Bolero, like Dudley Moore in Ten?
35
00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:49,889
Or C, to find an unusual use for half a
pan of Lurpac like Marlon Brando in Last
36
00:02:49,890 --> 00:02:50,940
Tango in Paris?
37
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,310
it over.
38
00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:00,659
Don't you want to know who wins and
where they're going to go on their
39
00:03:00,660 --> 00:03:01,800
to know you mini break?
40
00:03:01,801 --> 00:03:05,099
I couldn't give a monkey's romancing the
stones on this side in a minute.
41
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:08,660
See, you're a sucker for a bit of
romance, same as everyone else.
42
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:13,900
Here, Trace, where would you go on your
getting to know you mini break?
43
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,260
I don't want to get to know someone.
I've got my Daryl.
44
00:03:17,261 --> 00:03:21,339
Yeah, but suppose you was with some
bloke that was personally chosen for you
45
00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:22,700
Cupid, the love computer.
46
00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:26,140
What a load of old cons. You can't fall
in love by computer.
47
00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:28,690
Who's talking about love?
48
00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:31,240
I'm talking about a week's free leg over
in the sun.
49
00:03:31,241 --> 00:03:36,969
That's really disgusting, is it? I can't
imagine what sort of woman would go on
50
00:03:36,970 --> 00:03:38,020
a show like that.
51
00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:42,160
Expose herself to all that ridicule.
Surrender her self -respect and dignity.
52
00:03:43,330 --> 00:03:46,220
So you won't want a ticket when I'm in
it next month, then?
53
00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:49,090
What? You're going to be on the telly?
54
00:03:49,470 --> 00:03:50,520
Pull the other one.
55
00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:52,650
I'll pull them all if I get the chance.
56
00:03:54,430 --> 00:03:55,480
Asma, look at that.
57
00:04:12,650 --> 00:04:13,700
Got caught in a door.
58
00:04:15,710 --> 00:04:16,790
Door all right, is it?
59
00:04:18,130 --> 00:04:19,180
It's not funny.
60
00:04:20,430 --> 00:04:21,480
Here, shell.
61
00:04:22,450 --> 00:04:25,580
You don't reckon you can lay your hands
on three grand, do you?
62
00:04:25,910 --> 00:04:28,620
I'd heard you could get mind -expanding
drugs inside.
63
00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:31,630
Why? Ah, don't matter.
64
00:04:32,610 --> 00:04:33,660
So what's new?
65
00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:37,420
I've come to talk to you about the
divorce.
66
00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:39,980
I thought you was going to knock that on
the head.
67
00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:41,060
No, not really.
68
00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:44,830
I just said I wouldn't force the issue
unless I met another bloke.
69
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,420
What? And you have?
70
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,310
Met some dickhead who wants to marry
you?
71
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,780
Not yet, but I'm about to.
72
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,090
Eh?
73
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,500
You know, second time lucky.
74
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,360
Yeah, that's my favourite programme.
75
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,250
I'm on it next month.
76
00:05:00,251 --> 00:05:03,159
They say you've got a beauty ball, so if
they check... Who are you trying to
77
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,210
kill?
78
00:05:08,460 --> 00:05:09,780
You can't do this.
79
00:05:09,781 --> 00:05:14,839
I'm not having my wife get off with some
ponce in front of 10 million people.
80
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,640
I'd better light this like a sea wing.
81
00:05:17,420 --> 00:05:19,220
Sounds like ground for the boat to me.
82
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,320
Why didn't she take her key?
83
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:38,060
Dorian, what is it?
84
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:39,890
Luke.
85
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,030
What do you mean old?
86
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,600
I don't know what to do.
87
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:55,650
What happened?
88
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,450
He's gone.
89
00:05:57,451 --> 00:05:58,639
Oh, no.
90
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:02,010
Oh, no, you've fallen out with Luke
before, haven't you? Well, not
91
00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:04,660
We've had our ups and downs.
92
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:09,539
Now he's admitted completely out of the
blue. He's been two -timing me for
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00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:10,590
months.
94
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,740
And I just thought he was tired.
95
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,980
Tracy, he's been seeing another woman.
96
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:19,370
No, a child.
97
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,040
Tracy, she's 19.
98
00:06:23,940 --> 00:06:27,820
How can I compete with a 19 -year -old?
99
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:29,320
I don't know.
100
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:32,540
We're in here, Shell.
101
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,640
Blimey, it's Alice Cooper.
102
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,550
He just didn't feel we were going
anywhere.
103
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,790
But you used to take him out all the
time, don't you?
104
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:01,880
Sharon, shut it.
105
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,840
I don't know what to do.
106
00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:16,019
Luke was so... He was so... He made
107
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:17,300
me feel so...
108
00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:29,530
forever. Sooner or later the man gets
bored.
109
00:07:29,730 --> 00:07:30,780
You've seen Dallas.
110
00:07:31,190 --> 00:07:32,350
Sing it, Aubrey.
111
00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:37,510
As the song says, breaking up is hard to
do. Oh, what do you know?
112
00:07:38,470 --> 00:07:42,260
When have you ever had a relationship
with someone you really cared about?
113
00:07:43,290 --> 00:07:44,970
Don't judge me, Dorian.
114
00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:47,950
You don't know anything about my past
life.
115
00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:53,069
You don't know how I cried and cried
when Stu Summers said I couldn't go to
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00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:54,120
party.
117
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,040
I was really in love with him.
118
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,050
We was practically engaged in
everything.
119
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,360
You remember him, don't you, Trace?
120
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,570
No.
121
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,680
Stu Summers.
122
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,800
St Thomas Abney Junior Mix.
123
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,600
The little kid with the swing.
124
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,010
Oh,
125
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,600
pay no attention to her, Dorian.
126
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,770
Look, maybe this gives you a chance to
save your marriage.
127
00:08:20,771 --> 00:08:23,659
I mean, if you put half the energy into
your marriage you put into your affair
128
00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:24,599
with Luke...
129
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:28,030
This is right. This is your chance to
make something of your marriage.
130
00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:30,200
I mean, let's face it, do I?
131
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,370
Pulling young blokes is going to get
harder and harder.
132
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:38,019
And do you reckon you can go on lifting
it all up, tucking it all in and putting
133
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:39,070
it all away?
134
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,340
You can't defy gravity forever, you
know.
135
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,180
Thank you, Sharon.
136
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,580
No, I only meant... No, no, no.
137
00:08:49,420 --> 00:08:50,470
I mean it.
138
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,130
Thank you.
139
00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:54,420
You're right.
140
00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:04,580
I don't know what you're all so chirpy
about.
141
00:09:05,050 --> 00:09:08,660
I'm not into the MacArthur's for three
grand, am I? Well, it's not funny.
142
00:09:09,350 --> 00:09:10,610
What am I going to do, Del?
143
00:09:10,611 --> 00:09:12,449
Well, you could go and be the governor.
144
00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:13,500
Apply for Rule 43.
145
00:09:14,410 --> 00:09:16,520
Oh, yeah, yeah, great choice, that,
yeah.
146
00:09:17,050 --> 00:09:19,040
Do the rest of me time banged up in
Ewing.
147
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,740
With the poncies, perverts and
poisoners.
148
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,560
You made your bed? Yeah, hospital bed.
149
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:27,320
I can't remember how to do it.
150
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:29,870
All right.
151
00:09:31,060 --> 00:09:32,110
Here you are.
152
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,000
I need cash, not flesh.
153
00:09:35,001 --> 00:09:36,719
Help me take your mind off things.
154
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:37,770
I'm not in a mood.
155
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,480
Read the mooring articles then.
156
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,420
No one reads Mayfair.
157
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:42,770
I do.
158
00:09:43,459 --> 00:09:44,509
Eventually.
159
00:09:44,510 --> 00:09:48,519
If you don't straighten the McCarthy's,
the motoring articles will be the only
160
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,380
thing that still raise your interest.
161
00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:53,620
I do not believe this.
162
00:09:53,621 --> 00:09:57,639
Yeah. Newquay's nudist district nurse. A
bit bad for the blood pressure, isn't
163
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:58,940
she? Stuff her.
164
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,200
You'd have to buy her dinner first.
165
00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:04,820
Look, I mean this.
166
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:06,770
What about it?
167
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,540
It's a message from your bubble car.
168
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,639
I can read.
169
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:10,700
So? So...
170
00:10:10,701 --> 00:10:13,489
Have you got anything I can write a
letter to Sharon on?
171
00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:14,540
Hmm.
172
00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:49,540
You killed me.
173
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:52,650
You've completely ruined a £600 suit.
174
00:10:53,090 --> 00:10:54,230
Marcus, I'm sorry.
175
00:10:54,231 --> 00:10:57,689
What are you doing home on a Tuesday
night? Shouldn't you be at your modern
176
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,109
creative dance or something?
177
00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:00,160
I stubbed my toe.
178
00:11:00,530 --> 00:11:02,730
Oh, look at this.
179
00:11:03,050 --> 00:11:04,100
I'm shattered.
180
00:11:04,770 --> 00:11:07,660
I'm going to go straight upstairs and
have a steam shower.
181
00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:11,430
Bring me up to Edam and Cornish Wapers,
would you please?
182
00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:15,210
Marcus, come into the dining room a
moment.
183
00:11:15,590 --> 00:11:16,750
Why? Humour me.
184
00:11:16,751 --> 00:11:23,049
If this is another one of your surprise
parties, I still haven't recovered from
185
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,370
paying for the last one yet.
186
00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:25,930
Mark, don't move.
187
00:11:28,050 --> 00:11:31,230
Oh, my God!
188
00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:32,970
What have I forgotten?
189
00:11:32,971 --> 00:11:38,189
It's not your birthday or our
anniversary, I know, because the alarm
190
00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:41,789
off. I just thought it would be pleasant
if we sat down together like when we
191
00:11:41,790 --> 00:11:44,870
were first married and had a delicious
home -cooked meal.
192
00:11:45,989 --> 00:11:47,969
You've invited your mother to live here.
193
00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:49,360
God forbid.
194
00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:52,370
You haven't smashed the new lotus? No.
195
00:11:52,371 --> 00:11:53,789
Well, then what?
196
00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:54,840
Nothing.
197
00:11:54,841 --> 00:11:57,949
It's just we hardly ever see each other.
I mean, I'm always rushing out as
198
00:11:57,950 --> 00:11:58,989
you're rushing in.
199
00:11:58,990 --> 00:12:01,340
Our marriage will suffer if we aren't
careful.
200
00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:03,390
Point taken. I'll be careful.
201
00:12:03,730 --> 00:12:04,780
Now I'm going to bed.
202
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:06,800
All right.
203
00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:08,250
The food doesn't matter.
204
00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:11,600
Let's go upstairs together and have a
steam shower.
205
00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:13,590
I want my cheese.
206
00:12:13,591 --> 00:12:18,129
You know what we really need is a few
days away together to recharge our
207
00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:21,430
batteries, to talk, to laugh, to make
love.
208
00:12:22,190 --> 00:12:24,030
Why don't we go away next weekend?
209
00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:26,880
I can't next weekend. I'm going to
Milan.
210
00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:27,940
You didn't tell me.
211
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:32,570
I did. I'm sure I did. It doesn't matter
because I've got an even better idea.
212
00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:35,190
Why don't I go to Italy with you?
213
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,790
Then I could do some shopping while you
work. You must be kidding.
214
00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:43,400
If I let you go shopping in Milan, the
company will have to go into
215
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:07,820
Chris, uh, your husband.
216
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,480
Here, Jake, what do you reckon?
217
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,840
Think it'll do for a second time lucky?
218
00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:14,420
It's a bit layered, isn't it?
219
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:15,710
I intend to be.
220
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:21,090
People up and down the land will be
adjusting their contrast when Sharon's
221
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:24,810
Weren't cheap, though. £18 .99 from
Littlewood. Excuse me, please.
222
00:13:26,420 --> 00:13:28,950
Here, Daryl says you're Chris -ing a bit
of bother.
223
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:30,750
My Chris?
224
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,070
No, I don't have a Chris. I used to know
a Chris.
225
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:34,430
He needs your help.
226
00:13:34,650 --> 00:13:36,210
Del says Chris is writing to you.
227
00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:38,910
I'll read it, shall I?
228
00:13:38,911 --> 00:13:40,609
You must.
229
00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:41,660
I know what it's this.
230
00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:44,890
Please come and see me. Please come and
see me.
231
00:13:45,510 --> 00:13:46,850
My darling Sharon.
232
00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:48,250
He's after something.
233
00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:50,790
I don't want to bother you.
234
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,860
Lawyer. But I've been having some money
problems lately.
235
00:13:53,861 --> 00:13:55,089
Don't worry.
236
00:13:55,090 --> 00:13:58,850
I won't. Because I've just found out a
way to sort it all out with your help.
237
00:13:59,770 --> 00:14:02,000
Needing my help is the weak link in this
plan.
238
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:03,870
How can you be so heartless?
239
00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:09,539
God, I hope it's not Dorian. I know.
She's been so depressing, this little
240
00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:11,180
that... Well, answer it, then.
241
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,080
No, you can't wait a minute.
242
00:14:13,081 --> 00:14:14,059
Grunt! Grunt!
243
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:15,110
Grunt!
244
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,370
Grunt!
245
00:14:16,371 --> 00:14:17,499
Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!
246
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,399
Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!
Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!
247
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,339
Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!
248
00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:21,279
Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!
249
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:21,839
Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!
250
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,119
Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!
Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!
251
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:23,119
Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!
Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!
252
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:23,699
Grunt! Grunt!
253
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:24,750
Grunt! Grunt!
254
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,130
Grunt! Grunt!
255
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:27,370
Grunt! Grunt!
256
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,520
Grunt! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!
257
00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:34,920
Grunt! If he don't cough up what he owes
our boys, you'll be a widow first.
258
00:14:35,260 --> 00:14:37,380
Oh, I thought you'd come with bad news.
259
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,180
That's it, that's so.
260
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:40,980
It's shut. It's shut?
261
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:42,940
Well, what do you want?
262
00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:49,220
Er... She in Portsmouth, Aspen, owes my
boys three grand in poker debts.
263
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:50,570
Get out!
264
00:14:55,360 --> 00:15:00,629
If he don't cough up... My boys will do
to him what last year's drought did to
265
00:15:00,630 --> 00:15:01,680
the people of Kent.
266
00:15:01,690 --> 00:15:02,740
Eh?
267
00:15:03,330 --> 00:15:04,670
Cut off his water.
268
00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:09,010
And then we'll be round.
269
00:15:09,850 --> 00:15:14,450
Either to collect the money or internal
organs to the same value.
270
00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:17,069
It's all right.
271
00:15:17,070 --> 00:15:18,449
It's all right, don't worry.
272
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:19,500
We ain't worrying.
273
00:15:19,690 --> 00:15:21,250
It's you that should be worried.
274
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:23,930
Look, I've just had a letter from Chris.
275
00:15:23,931 --> 00:15:27,419
He says he's got everything under
control. I can't see him tomorrow.
276
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:30,670
I'll get your money sorted out then. I
swear on my Chrissie's life.
277
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,700
Good. Because I'm not a patient woman.
278
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,460
Rebbit, welcome.
279
00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:08,390
I said I was sorry.
280
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:14,739
Sorry? The Gravesend ladies' tag team
smashes down Tracy's front door and
281
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:17,320
sorry? She's still shaking, Queen.
282
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:19,260
Yeah, but I didn't know, did I?
283
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,100
Anyway, like I said in my letter, I've
got it all sacked.
284
00:16:23,740 --> 00:16:25,860
Go on, Einstein. Lay it on me.
285
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,650
Look.
286
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:28,850
Oh!
287
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,290
You know, I was in the army in Germany
before we met.
288
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:34,980
Till they chucked you out.
289
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,500
They did not chuck me out.
290
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,679
The army psychiatrist just said my
driving style was a little bit too
291
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,720
for taints and recommended minicabbing.
292
00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:45,440
All right, so?
293
00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:51,079
So, while I was there, I got into this
poker school in this little farming
294
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,299
village right on the outskirts of East
Berlin.
295
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:55,710
Because soldiers were allowed across the
wall.
296
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:59,720
And? And I won a Messerschmitt.
297
00:17:00,731 --> 00:17:08,039
Telling me you're the proud owner of a
German war plane and we can bomb the
298
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,090
McCarthy bitches.
299
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,819
No. A Messerschmitt bubble card donk
brain.
300
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,760
They're collector's items now.
301
00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:20,980
One of them went for ten grand a couple
of months ago.
302
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,730
Yeah?
303
00:17:23,579 --> 00:17:24,779
Twizzlers can't have it.
304
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,780
Still in East Germany, innit?
305
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,680
Well, no way would the commies let me
bring it back to the West.
306
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:33,440
The old crap farmer I won it off said...
307
00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:36,670
He'd look after it for me till the
Berlin Wall came down.
308
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,900
Well, I thought, fat chance of that.
309
00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:45,440
But now Galby's done the business, all
you've got to do is go to East Berlin,
310
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:49,920
find the car, bring it back, do it up,
flog it, dos, dos, dos, loads of money.
311
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:51,980
Is that all, is it?
312
00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:53,670
What's in it for me?
313
00:17:53,860 --> 00:17:56,400
Well, keep the McCarthy's off your back.
314
00:17:57,340 --> 00:17:58,390
That's not enough.
315
00:17:59,220 --> 00:18:00,600
Yeah. All right.
316
00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:04,670
I'll let you keep half the profits after
I pay off the McCarthy's.
317
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:05,810
No.
318
00:18:06,180 --> 00:18:08,230
Half what it's worth before you pay
them.
319
00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:10,300
You're a bloodsucker.
320
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,170
Yeah, all right.
321
00:18:13,171 --> 00:18:17,999
So, where do I get this car, then? Well,
the papers are in the safety deposit
322
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,050
box.
323
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,060
You've got a safety deposit box?
324
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:24,000
Who are you trying to accuse?
325
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:27,010
Well, actually, it's an old cream
cracker tin.
326
00:18:27,011 --> 00:18:31,889
Cost us a greengrocer. He's looking
after it for me in his lock -up down
327
00:18:31,890 --> 00:18:35,770
Tottenham. And does this secret box
contain enough money for my fare?
328
00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:39,500
Well, your sister can give you it down
Tottenham, can't she?
329
00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:42,390
Get that Germany bucket, Ed!
330
00:18:43,430 --> 00:18:45,190
Not to mention hotel expenses.
331
00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:50,130
Food, drink, postcard, souvenirs. Well,
like I said, I've got it all stuffed.
332
00:18:50,850 --> 00:18:51,930
I can't wait.
333
00:18:53,070 --> 00:18:57,579
All you've got to do... is win second
time lucky pick berlin for your free
334
00:18:57,580 --> 00:19:04,019
and you're off to the races well they
don't win oh i've got no worries on that
335
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:09,599
score your personality is sweet aboard
do you reckon yeah
336
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:13,080
that's always a mouthiest cow with the
leery stress
337
00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:30,420
The climax of tonight's show, the love
trial.
338
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,550
Sharon, Lorraine, Greg and Barry, you
nervous?
339
00:19:35,980 --> 00:19:39,080
Well, don't be. We're just here to have
a bit of fun.
340
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,330
I'm not.
341
00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:42,780
I'm here to find true love and
happiness.
342
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:52,640
Right, well, it's ladies first this
week. So, girls, imagine this, OK?
343
00:19:52,641 --> 00:19:55,339
You've been married for a couple of
years.
344
00:19:55,340 --> 00:19:59,139
and the first flush of passion is fading
away like the last rose of summer. In
345
00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:03,139
fact, if you don't put some spice back
in your marriage, you could end up on
346
00:20:03,140 --> 00:20:04,190
third time lucky.
347
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:10,359
So, do you, and this is very serious, do
you, A, climb into his bath and massage
348
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,440
him all over with perfumed body balm?
349
00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:13,910
Woo!
350
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:21,159
B, take all your clothes off while he's
driving and persuade him to make love to
351
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,960
you in a lay -by while juggernauts
thunder past?
352
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,450
Woo!
353
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:31,759
Video yourself doing an erotic
striptease. Wait until he settles down
354
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,020
sofa to watch the snooker.
355
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,590
Sneakily turn on the video and see if he
can go in off the cushion.
356
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,420
Lorraine. Hard one.
357
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,780
I'd say B, Leslie.
358
00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:48,680
Okay, Lorraine says B. What do you say,
Sharon?
359
00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:51,200
Why not all three, Liz?
360
00:21:01,941 --> 00:21:03,889
How could you lose?
361
00:21:03,890 --> 00:21:06,000
It was six points clear. I can't believe
it.
362
00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:09,850
It's all rigged, isn't it? I didn't
stand a chance, did I?
363
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:13,030
I mean, look at her and then look at me.
364
00:21:14,330 --> 00:21:16,290
They want glamour, not reality.
365
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,270
Then how comes laughing boy won?
366
00:21:18,530 --> 00:21:20,570
He's as doggy as yesterday's cornflakes.
367
00:21:22,810 --> 00:21:24,980
Leslie's not interested in fellas, is
he?
368
00:21:24,981 --> 00:21:28,389
Do you see the way he looked at her
chest when he said, come on, Lorraine,
369
00:21:28,390 --> 00:21:29,890
you're only two points behind.
370
00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:33,000
I'd like Sharon.
371
00:21:33,430 --> 00:21:38,249
Yeah. Mind you, I can't say I'm looking
forward to spending a week away with
372
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:39,300
Barry.
373
00:21:40,030 --> 00:21:41,670
Why couldn't Greg have won?
374
00:21:42,410 --> 00:21:45,050
Because he's as thick as a McDonald's
milkshake.
375
00:21:46,070 --> 00:21:50,069
He only got through to the last round
because when he said Luciano Pavarotti
376
00:21:50,070 --> 00:21:53,320
played for Real Madrid, everyone thought
he was cracking a joke.
377
00:21:54,170 --> 00:21:55,970
Why? Who does he play for?
378
00:21:59,270 --> 00:22:00,870
Still, winning don't matter.
379
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:02,560
So long as you're seen.
380
00:22:03,180 --> 00:22:04,620
Of course you'll be seen.
381
00:22:05,180 --> 00:22:06,560
It ain't radio, is it?
382
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:07,850
No, I mean seen.
383
00:22:08,580 --> 00:22:11,120
By agents, bookers, theatre management.
384
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,800
This show is watched by 13 million
people.
385
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,360
Well, my manager reckons we'll be
inundated with offers.
386
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,370
Offers of what?
387
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,690
Don't ask.
388
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,010
No.
389
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:25,880
Pantos, trade shows, telejobs,
modelling.
390
00:22:26,740 --> 00:22:30,340
I'm not averse to taking me top off, if
it's artistically necessary.
391
00:22:32,419 --> 00:22:34,200
No. Who'd have thought it, Trace?
392
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:37,390
You could knock me down with a forklift
truck.
393
00:22:39,540 --> 00:22:41,540
I think I'll just go and phone me mum.
394
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,600
I think that Lorraine's avoiding me.
395
00:22:44,860 --> 00:22:46,480
Nah, it's just your imagination.
396
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:48,540
He ain't got an imagination.
397
00:22:50,420 --> 00:22:53,520
Actually, Barry, we've just found out
that Lorraine's a pro.
398
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,900
Or an enthusiastic amateur, at least.
399
00:22:56,620 --> 00:22:59,980
Hard luck, Sharon. I thought you had it
sewn up.
400
00:22:59,981 --> 00:23:04,999
Still, Sharon didn't really stand a
chance, did she?
401
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,860
Not against a seasoned professional.
402
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,010
A what?
403
00:23:09,011 --> 00:23:11,259
I thought this show was for your
ordinary people.
404
00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:13,850
I mean, Lorraine's got an agent, a
manager, the lot.
405
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:17,440
You know, I reckon we could make a few
bub out of this trace.
406
00:23:19,780 --> 00:23:21,680
If we leaked it to the sun.
407
00:23:24,340 --> 00:23:27,000
Um, don't do anything hasty, Sharon.
408
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,240
I'm sure we can fix something up.
409
00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:31,720
Excuse me just a minute, would you?
410
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:36,640
David, we're going to have to reshoot
the end of the show. I told you, didn't
411
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:42,279
Lorraine! I was wondering...
412
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:49,219
And then they reshot
413
00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:52,170
the whole thing in an empty studio.
You're truly the winner.
414
00:23:52,171 --> 00:23:53,419
How about that, then?
415
00:23:53,420 --> 00:23:55,960
Well, I'm very pleased for you, but why
Berlin?
416
00:23:56,980 --> 00:24:00,230
What's wrong with Berlin? Well, for a
dart, it's full of Germans.
417
00:24:01,660 --> 00:24:03,770
I just made it through Berlin, all
right?
418
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:05,330
Here we are.
419
00:24:05,331 --> 00:24:08,539
You don't mind watering the plants while
we're gone, do you, Dorian?
420
00:24:08,540 --> 00:24:09,590
Where are you going?
421
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,420
To Berlin with Sharon, of course.
422
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,919
She's my chaperone, isn't she? A
chaperone? I thought the whole point of
423
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,459
show was to get the winners together,
not keep them apart.
424
00:24:18,460 --> 00:24:20,320
Well, I said I wouldn't go without her.
425
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,390
And if you saw Barry, you'd want a
chaperone and all.
426
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:25,500
Why, he'd be really horny.
427
00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:32,180
The only horny thing about Barry is the
buttons on his duffel coat.
428
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,920
So you don't think second time lucky is
going to lead to true love?
429
00:24:37,260 --> 00:24:38,310
No, not with Barry.
430
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,240
I want a bloke, not a joke.
431
00:24:41,340 --> 00:24:43,840
How about you, Dorian? Me? Yeah, you.
432
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:48,259
Managed to recapture your lost youth,
have you? No, I have washed my hands of
433
00:24:48,260 --> 00:24:49,500
Luke. Not Luke.
434
00:24:49,501 --> 00:24:50,739
I mean, Marcus.
435
00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:51,619
How's it going?
436
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:54,690
Oh, it's going quite well, actually. He
phones me every night.
437
00:24:56,649 --> 00:24:59,430
No, he's away on business again.
438
00:25:00,330 --> 00:25:01,910
Sure ain't funny business.
439
00:25:02,370 --> 00:25:07,210
Marcus, if his sex drive was the norm,
the human race would be extinct.
440
00:25:28,350 --> 00:25:29,400
What?
441
00:25:29,690 --> 00:25:31,130
I could be here at Nicklebolt.
442
00:25:32,090 --> 00:25:33,140
It's Marcus.
443
00:25:33,910 --> 00:25:34,960
With a bird.
444
00:25:34,961 --> 00:25:38,309
Remember when Dorian said he was going
away on business?
445
00:25:38,310 --> 00:25:39,930
I said funny business, didn't I?
446
00:25:40,250 --> 00:25:41,990
You shouldn't jump to conclusions.
447
00:25:42,670 --> 00:25:43,720
No.
448
00:25:44,950 --> 00:25:46,750
Reckon he's knocking her off, then?
449
00:25:47,690 --> 00:25:50,410
Sharon. Look how pretty we're made.
450
00:25:51,110 --> 00:25:52,160
What do you think?
451
00:25:53,290 --> 00:25:55,010
Oh, my God, they're coming out.
452
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,240
Sharon! Tracy!
453
00:26:17,540 --> 00:26:20,560
Fancy seeing... What are you... Dorian?
454
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:22,170
No.
455
00:26:23,260 --> 00:26:26,520
This is... Lucinda.
456
00:26:26,780 --> 00:26:30,860
That's right, this is Lucinda. She's
my... Legal advisor.
457
00:26:31,180 --> 00:26:32,320
She's my legal advisor.
458
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:36,939
We just got back from Italy. We were
buying Dorian a little present, and
459
00:26:36,940 --> 00:26:37,990
helped me choose.
460
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,080
They're the same size.
461
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:40,620
Oh, plucky.
462
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:42,770
Well, we might dash.
463
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,050
We're off to Berlin.
464
00:26:44,051 --> 00:26:45,159
Oh, really?
465
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:46,800
Why? For a bit of naughty.
466
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,080
Why else do people go abroad?
467
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:14,200
All I'm saying is, if you want to be a
marriage wrecker, tell Dawn.
468
00:27:14,201 --> 00:27:19,159
We should keep Stum and just let Marcus
get away with it, do you? With what?
469
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,150
All he's charged with is that I'm a
fool.
470
00:27:21,151 --> 00:27:24,459
He did come out and pick the box with a
pretty girl on his arm and a silly
471
00:27:24,460 --> 00:27:25,600
expression on his face.
472
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:28,360
It's just like Chris.
473
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:32,090
Likes to put it about a bit and then
scuttles on to the little woman.
474
00:27:32,300 --> 00:27:34,120
But what if she walks out on him?
475
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:35,490
So's it right?
476
00:27:36,260 --> 00:27:38,320
You're so keen on marital honesty.
477
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:42,200
How come you never graphed Dorian up to
Marcus? That's different.
478
00:27:42,580 --> 00:27:43,630
She's a woman.
479
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:46,810
He's a man.
480
00:27:47,060 --> 00:27:48,360
The enemy within.
481
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,520
Then you send her in this instance.
482
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:58,530
Lovely.
483
00:27:59,180 --> 00:28:00,230
Beautiful.
484
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:03,150
Thank you, son.
485
00:28:03,151 --> 00:28:04,039
Thank you.
486
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,299
Oh, he speaks English. He speaks
English, Sam.
487
00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:07,680
Have a look. Try champagne.
488
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:09,820
And a chandelier.
489
00:28:10,380 --> 00:28:11,880
Take a month to clean it.
490
00:28:18,990 --> 00:28:20,040
There's only one bed.
491
00:28:20,690 --> 00:28:24,510
So? It's big enough for you and me,
isn't it? That's not the point.
492
00:28:24,930 --> 00:28:30,210
No, the point is that I'm here for a
romantic getting -to -know -you holiday.
493
00:28:30,810 --> 00:28:36,969
And this luxurious king -size bed is the
intended arena for the climax of the
494
00:28:36,970 --> 00:28:38,530
getting -to -know -you process.
495
00:28:38,890 --> 00:28:39,940
What do you reckon?
496
00:28:40,190 --> 00:28:41,240
Of course.
497
00:28:42,370 --> 00:28:44,370
It's the secret of second time lucky.
498
00:28:44,950 --> 00:28:47,060
People only watch it till you get to
drunk.
499
00:28:51,679 --> 00:28:52,729
Room 1129.
500
00:28:54,740 --> 00:28:56,640
Dorian? It's Dorian.
501
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,280
He told us.
502
00:28:58,281 --> 00:29:01,999
He says that we grassed him up so he
tries to get in first with our feeble
503
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,320
excuse. Give it to me, I'll put her
right. No way.
504
00:29:05,860 --> 00:29:06,910
I'm sorry, Dor.
505
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,680
Just Sharon rabbiting on as per usual.
506
00:29:10,740 --> 00:29:12,420
So, how's Chigwell?
507
00:29:13,060 --> 00:29:14,400
Chigwell is fantastic.
508
00:29:15,780 --> 00:29:18,670
Marcus got back from Elam this
afternoon. He was an animal.
509
00:29:18,671 --> 00:29:22,019
He must have been inspired by those
gigantic pepper mills the Italians were
510
00:29:22,020 --> 00:29:23,100
always grinding over.
511
00:29:23,101 --> 00:29:26,359
And you'll never guess what he brought
me back.
512
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:27,410
Naughty knickers?
513
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,800
Sharon, how did you guess?
514
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,860
Sharon, you get off that phone, you.
515
00:29:32,861 --> 00:29:34,079
No.
516
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,360
It wasn't a guest door.
517
00:29:35,980 --> 00:29:37,940
We bumped into Marcus at the airport.
518
00:29:38,340 --> 00:29:39,390
Did any say?
519
00:29:40,060 --> 00:29:41,740
No, he didn't mention it.
520
00:29:43,820 --> 00:29:44,870
Ah!
521
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:46,640
Say no more, honest.
522
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,250
Hello, darling.
523
00:29:48,251 --> 00:29:49,479
Miss me?
524
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:50,530
Sharon?
525
00:29:50,860 --> 00:29:51,910
Tracy?
526
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:56,330
Hello, door.
527
00:29:56,900 --> 00:29:57,980
I've just remembered.
528
00:29:58,220 --> 00:30:01,230
We did see Marcus as he was going along
the passport control.
529
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,010
You didn't tell me you saw the girls at
the airport.
530
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,940
I have more important things to tell
you, like how I missed you, how I love
531
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,170
Get off.
532
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,470
Yeah, actually, he was picking out your
present in knickerbox.
533
00:30:13,900 --> 00:30:14,950
Knickerbox?
534
00:30:15,860 --> 00:30:19,480
You told me you searched high and low
for the sex... lingerie in Milan.
535
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,700
He bought them at the airport.
536
00:30:22,260 --> 00:30:24,060
They took a long time about choosing.
537
00:30:25,740 --> 00:30:26,790
What?
538
00:30:28,220 --> 00:30:30,060
No, he was with his legal advisor.
539
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,140
His legal advisor?
540
00:30:34,300 --> 00:30:37,200
Jeff Sims helped you pick out my
knickers?
541
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,000
Describe this legal advisor to me.
542
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,100
I didn't really notice her.
543
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:46,650
Dorian?
544
00:30:51,530 --> 00:30:52,830
I hope you're satisfied.
545
00:30:53,670 --> 00:30:56,490
You marriage wrecker.
546
00:31:06,370 --> 00:31:08,250
Dorian, where are you going?
547
00:31:08,630 --> 00:31:09,950
It's none of your business.
548
00:31:10,290 --> 00:31:11,340
To your mother's?
549
00:31:11,630 --> 00:31:13,800
You don't think I've got enough
problems?
550
00:31:15,410 --> 00:31:18,770
And you will be hearing from my legal
advisor.
551
00:31:40,750 --> 00:31:46,429
But the most important thing, Sharon,
Barry, is to try to be as relaxed as
552
00:31:46,430 --> 00:31:50,409
possible. I mean, forget about the crew,
forget that we're filming it. Just let
553
00:31:50,410 --> 00:31:51,460
it all hang out, OK?
554
00:31:51,461 --> 00:31:55,329
The viewers will love it when people
might plonk with themselves on
555
00:31:55,330 --> 00:31:58,730
OK. The first stop tomorrow is the
Charlottenburg Palace.
556
00:31:58,930 --> 00:32:03,329
Now, that's a very big palace in the
centre of Berlin. Built by Frederick III
557
00:32:03,330 --> 00:32:06,830
1695, his queen, Sophie Charlotte,
wasn't it, Andrew?
558
00:32:09,870 --> 00:32:13,909
Okay, and then we're going on to the
Olympic Stadium, completed for Hitler's
559
00:32:13,910 --> 00:32:16,010
infamous 1936 Berlin Olympics.
560
00:32:17,650 --> 00:32:19,760
Just a little bit of homework, that's
all.
561
00:32:35,190 --> 00:32:36,690
Again, very good.
562
00:32:40,230 --> 00:32:41,670
How may I help you?
563
00:32:41,671 --> 00:32:45,489
Well, this is probably a stupid
question, but I'm looking for someone
564
00:32:45,490 --> 00:32:47,960
anything about old Messerschmitt bubble
cards.
565
00:32:48,850 --> 00:32:49,990
Messerschmitt cards?
566
00:32:50,590 --> 00:32:52,790
Yeah, I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't.
567
00:32:53,450 --> 00:32:55,920
Yeah, the Messerschmitt engineer needs
Berlin.
568
00:32:55,990 --> 00:32:58,270
Would you like me to phone him for you?
569
00:32:58,510 --> 00:32:59,560
Oh, yes, please.
570
00:33:01,290 --> 00:33:03,190
He only knows how we won the war.
571
00:33:03,410 --> 00:33:04,610
I don't think you did.
572
00:33:43,139 --> 00:33:44,189
Oh, Sanssouci.
573
00:33:45,140 --> 00:33:47,000
That's French for pancake, isn't it?
574
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:48,700
No, that's a proxy, Zed.
575
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,939
Oh. You see, during the reign of
Frederick the Great, they used to have
576
00:33:52,940 --> 00:33:57,200
fantastic royal dances organised by the
Queen in this very palace.
577
00:33:58,260 --> 00:34:01,450
Oh, you mean this is where she held the
Emperor's balls for him?
578
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:03,530
What?
579
00:34:04,260 --> 00:34:05,310
Oh!
580
00:34:06,460 --> 00:34:09,639
You're a one -off, Sharon. Ever been to
Newcastle?
581
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:10,930
Only in the bedroom.
582
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:22,450
Hello? Hello?
583
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:25,130
Oh,
584
00:34:25,131 --> 00:34:29,259
I'm sorry to trouble you, but I wanted
you to tell me... Why are the English
585
00:34:29,260 --> 00:34:30,310
always sorry?
586
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:34,359
I'm sorry, but you have trodden on my
foot. I'm sorry, but you have stolen my
587
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:35,410
wallet.
588
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,360
I only want some help finding a car.
589
00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:41,199
What, another Westerner who thinks it's
amusing to own a Trabant?
590
00:34:41,949 --> 00:34:44,959
I'm putting a turbocharger in this one
for a Hamburg Yuppie.
591
00:34:45,350 --> 00:34:48,989
When I'm finished with it, it will do 0
to 60 in less than a day.
592
00:34:48,990 --> 00:34:52,329
Oh, I'm talking about me Bradbury noise
mixer schmick.
593
00:34:52,330 --> 00:34:53,380
Want some pie?
594
00:34:53,610 --> 00:34:55,900
Good. I've got some traveller's checks
for me.
595
00:34:56,370 --> 00:34:57,830
I don't want your money, Mel.
596
00:34:59,110 --> 00:35:00,910
Why? What do you think you're doing?
597
00:35:01,770 --> 00:35:05,790
First I clean me, then you take me for
an ice cream and tell me about it.
598
00:35:06,270 --> 00:35:07,770
What did you think I was doing?
599
00:35:08,550 --> 00:35:09,600
Nothing.
600
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,720
So, Sharon, how do you find Barry?
601
00:35:33,620 --> 00:35:38,140
Well, I just have to turn around and
there he is, right behind me all the
602
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:39,890
Seriously.
603
00:35:40,180 --> 00:35:43,250
I've got to say that Barry's everything
my first husband was.
604
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,760
So, Barry's a potential second husband?
605
00:35:46,860 --> 00:35:50,920
Well, it's only days yet, but he's
certainly the opposite of my ex.
606
00:35:51,780 --> 00:35:56,500
Barry's hard -working, knowledgeable,
considerate, sober.
607
00:35:56,980 --> 00:35:58,030
What can I say?
608
00:35:59,870 --> 00:36:00,920
Okay, cut that.
609
00:36:01,990 --> 00:36:03,550
Well, that's been perfect, sir.
610
00:36:03,551 --> 00:36:06,069
Of course, you won't be my voice if you
do it here.
611
00:36:06,070 --> 00:36:09,649
No, Leslie Crowther will re -voice the
questions back in London, won't he,
612
00:36:09,650 --> 00:36:10,700
Andrew?
613
00:36:11,030 --> 00:36:12,080
Yes, Barry.
614
00:36:12,310 --> 00:36:13,360
Yes, he will.
615
00:36:13,370 --> 00:36:16,650
You see, you should use the Synclavier
digital double computer.
616
00:36:16,990 --> 00:36:18,410
The X300, I recommend.
617
00:36:18,810 --> 00:36:22,180
You see, it's a much more advanced
system of stuff you're using now.
618
00:36:22,390 --> 00:36:24,800
It's all component, you see, isn't it,
Andrew?
619
00:36:24,910 --> 00:36:25,960
Do you know, Barry?
620
00:36:26,650 --> 00:36:31,429
We've never had a tragic accident on one
of these jobs, but it could be just the
621
00:36:31,430 --> 00:36:32,750
thing to boost the ratings.
622
00:36:38,650 --> 00:36:39,700
What did I say?
623
00:36:40,790 --> 00:36:44,490
Barry, what does the word pillock convey
to you?
624
00:36:49,450 --> 00:36:53,329
So if we can find the car, get it done
up and flog it, Chris will be able to
625
00:36:53,330 --> 00:36:54,349
off his gambling debt.
626
00:36:54,350 --> 00:36:55,450
The farm still exists.
627
00:36:56,060 --> 00:36:57,110
What do you mean?
628
00:36:57,220 --> 00:36:59,810
There's been a lot of building in Martha
since 1975.
629
00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:06,600
Can you come back after work?
630
00:37:08,980 --> 00:37:10,030
I'm not sure.
631
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:11,520
Don't you trust me?
632
00:37:11,900 --> 00:37:12,950
I don't know you.
633
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:14,660
That's not what I asked.
634
00:37:27,771 --> 00:37:33,879
Do you know that the alpaca's closest
relation is the cobbler?
635
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,440
Well, it's dead side or it's mum.
636
00:37:35,441 --> 00:37:39,259
Well, how did you get on? Did you find
it?
637
00:37:39,260 --> 00:37:40,310
Do me a favour.
638
00:37:40,420 --> 00:37:41,860
I've met a man who can, though.
639
00:37:42,020 --> 00:37:43,660
Who? His name's Manfred.
640
00:37:43,661 --> 00:37:44,999
He wants to meet you later.
641
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,560
Great! Not tonight, child pet.
642
00:37:47,561 --> 00:37:51,079
We've got the Reichstag Museum and the
Emperor Frederick Memorial Church
643
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:54,779
tonight. We've got these fantastic
stained glass windows. Put a sock in it,
644
00:37:54,780 --> 00:37:55,830
you, Barry?
645
00:38:01,230 --> 00:38:03,520
If you can't come, I don't mind going on
my own.
646
00:38:03,810 --> 00:38:04,860
OK.
647
00:38:07,330 --> 00:38:11,830
This Manfred, he wouldn't happen to be a
bit of a hunk, would he?
648
00:38:12,270 --> 00:38:13,830
It's not got to do with anything.
649
00:38:14,290 --> 00:38:16,310
Anyway, I don't really know this.
650
00:38:17,050 --> 00:38:20,690
It don't matter anyhow, because I'm
coming with you one way or another.
651
00:38:21,850 --> 00:38:23,650
Sharon, can we have you now, please?
652
00:38:24,210 --> 00:38:26,200
We want to do a sequence with the
monkey.
653
00:38:26,910 --> 00:38:28,570
Larry, I want you to do a sequence.
654
00:38:33,190 --> 00:38:34,330
OK, Sharon, here we are.
655
00:38:34,770 --> 00:38:35,820
Thomas, we all say.
656
00:38:37,250 --> 00:38:39,450
Trace, do you have one of your shawl
shop?
657
00:38:39,710 --> 00:38:42,670
Yeah. Try and get a good shot of Barry
and Bonsai.
658
00:38:45,150 --> 00:38:49,630
Sharon, would you like to come and
cuddle the chump?
659
00:38:50,270 --> 00:38:51,320
You what?
660
00:38:51,870 --> 00:38:52,920
He's quite tame.
661
00:38:53,450 --> 00:38:54,500
Mind me, of course.
662
00:38:54,501 --> 00:38:57,749
I don't mind holding it. We're descended
from animals like this.
663
00:38:57,750 --> 00:39:00,640
And in your case, there's a distinct
family resemblance.
664
00:39:02,830 --> 00:39:05,480
Okay, Thomas, are you all ready? Yes.
Okay, roll tape.
665
00:39:05,950 --> 00:39:08,150
Barry, could you take the chimp?
666
00:39:08,370 --> 00:39:09,790
Right. Where's the chimp?
667
00:39:10,470 --> 00:39:11,520
Ah!
668
00:39:11,950 --> 00:39:13,650
Ah! Ah! Ah!
669
00:39:13,910 --> 00:39:14,960
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
670
00:39:14,961 --> 00:39:15,829
Ah! Ah! Ah!
671
00:39:15,830 --> 00:39:16,880
Ah!
672
00:39:17,470 --> 00:39:18,910
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
673
00:39:19,250 --> 00:39:20,300
Ah!
674
00:39:20,301 --> 00:39:23,569
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
675
00:39:23,570 --> 00:39:25,110
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
676
00:39:25,111 --> 00:39:28,069
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah! Well, I suppose we'll have
677
00:39:28,070 --> 00:39:29,949
to cancel the rest of today's schedule.
678
00:39:29,950 --> 00:39:31,000
Sorry, Andrew.
679
00:39:34,259 --> 00:39:35,860
And Marcus is distraught.
680
00:39:35,861 --> 00:39:39,679
He's on the phone to me every ten
minutes to see if I've heard from you.
681
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,159
suffer. You know what this is all about,
don't you?
682
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,739
It's because you've never had children.
Mummy, please.
683
00:39:44,740 --> 00:39:48,979
Children make you think twice before you
walk out on a husband. I walked out on
684
00:39:48,980 --> 00:39:52,919
him because he went to Milan with a
floozy. But why did he? Why do you think
685
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:54,660
man takes a tart on a business trip?
686
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:59,290
I mean, what was there in Milan that he
can't get in Chigwell? Nothing.
687
00:39:59,340 --> 00:40:01,930
Not now the fresh pasta shop's opened on
the parade.
688
00:40:01,931 --> 00:40:05,659
Don't try to be clever with me, Dorian.
I'm your mother. I know you better than
689
00:40:05,660 --> 00:40:06,710
you know yourself.
690
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:08,540
I'm talking about the sex.
691
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:10,460
Mummy, please.
692
00:40:11,180 --> 00:40:14,540
Men have physical needs that have to be
assuaged.
693
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:19,080
Your father's physical needs,
unfortunately, were mainly for fried
694
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:24,939
Mummy, there is nothing wrong with the
sexual pride, believe me. I don't
695
00:40:24,940 --> 00:40:27,650
you. If there were nothing wrong, I'd be
a grandmother.
696
00:40:28,310 --> 00:40:29,360
I blame myself.
697
00:40:30,090 --> 00:40:33,470
I brought you up to respect your body,
and now you're frigid.
698
00:40:36,310 --> 00:40:37,470
I am not.
699
00:40:38,290 --> 00:40:40,270
All right, future self, don't say that.
700
00:40:41,330 --> 00:40:45,390
Look, you want my advice? Go back to him
and sort things out. I can't do that.
701
00:40:45,391 --> 00:40:48,989
Then phone your cousin Jonathan and
institute divorce proceedings. I can't
702
00:40:48,990 --> 00:40:51,929
that. But, Doreen, you have to do
something. You can't stay in your
703
00:40:51,930 --> 00:40:52,980
house forever.
704
00:40:53,090 --> 00:40:54,410
When are they home? Friday.
705
00:40:54,411 --> 00:40:58,269
They will have four days to make your
mind up. Well, can't I come and stay
706
00:40:58,270 --> 00:40:59,470
you when they come back?
707
00:40:59,830 --> 00:41:01,270
Not really, darling. Why not?
708
00:41:02,070 --> 00:41:04,590
Because I have my own life to lead.
709
00:41:05,610 --> 00:41:08,080
What do you mean, your own life? You're
my mother.
710
00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:19,030
Bit bleak, innit?
711
00:41:19,990 --> 00:41:21,040
Well, we'll top them.
712
00:41:32,710 --> 00:41:33,970
The view's just improved.
713
00:41:34,370 --> 00:41:35,420
Manfred!
714
00:41:36,390 --> 00:41:38,770
Hello. Hey, you must be Sharon.
715
00:41:40,370 --> 00:41:42,370
I can go back on my own.
716
00:42:23,240 --> 00:42:30,119
This is your farming village Tracy
people here you
717
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:30,539
never know
718
00:42:30,540 --> 00:42:46,899
Welcome
719
00:42:46,900 --> 00:42:48,100
to stream fellows trust
720
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,210
I understand you are looking for my
father.
721
00:43:12,580 --> 00:43:16,720
I must warn you, but my father may not
part with the car so easily.
722
00:43:16,721 --> 00:43:17,899
Why not?
723
00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:18,579
It's ours.
724
00:43:18,580 --> 00:43:19,760
Yes, but he uses it.
725
00:43:20,060 --> 00:43:23,320
What, he drives around in it? No, he
keeps the chicken thinning.
726
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,960
So, we'll give him a few quid and he can
build a proper hen house.
727
00:43:29,740 --> 00:43:34,670
Maybe. But I must warn you, he is a very
dubious old peasant.
728
00:43:34,970 --> 00:43:36,770
Doesn't sound like you like him a lot.
729
00:43:36,810 --> 00:43:42,109
He used to be a Nazi. Then he became a
communist, and now he's a Christian
730
00:43:42,110 --> 00:43:45,770
Democrat. What am I supposed to like?
His consistency?
731
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:11,480
A Messerschmitt tiger?
732
00:44:12,780 --> 00:44:15,020
You didn't say it was a Messerschmitt
tiger.
733
00:44:15,740 --> 00:44:16,800
It's very rare.
734
00:44:17,300 --> 00:44:18,350
Shut up, Manfred.
735
00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:20,520
Look at the state of it, though.
736
00:44:21,180 --> 00:44:23,140
Yes, it's covered in Messerschmitt.
737
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:25,800
Well, can't you help us or what?
738
00:44:26,060 --> 00:44:27,320
It would be a big job.
739
00:44:27,740 --> 00:44:28,790
But you can.
740
00:44:29,420 --> 00:44:30,960
For you, nothing's too big.
741
00:44:39,350 --> 00:44:40,400
What's that?
742
00:44:40,930 --> 00:44:43,590
The old man says he wants 15 ,000 marks.
743
00:44:44,650 --> 00:44:45,700
What?
744
00:44:46,130 --> 00:44:47,630
5 ,000 pounds?
745
00:44:49,541 --> 00:44:51,109
He
746
00:44:51,110 --> 00:44:59,829
says
747
00:44:59,830 --> 00:45:02,810
he knew this car so it was a lot of
money in the West.
748
00:45:03,190 --> 00:45:04,890
We haven't got that sort of money.
749
00:45:05,710 --> 00:45:09,609
Pass mal auf, mein Lieber. Wenn du diese
Karre jetzt nicht rausrückst, dann
750
00:45:09,610 --> 00:45:13,510
werde ich jedem hier erzählen, dass du
ein Stasi -Informant gewesen bist.
751
00:45:13,870 --> 00:45:15,070
Du Schwein.
752
00:45:15,370 --> 00:45:17,990
What was going on?
753
00:45:18,210 --> 00:45:23,789
I told him that if he kept the car, I
would tell everybody he used to be a
754
00:45:23,790 --> 00:45:25,350
secret police informer.
755
00:45:26,750 --> 00:45:28,270
You'd shop your own days?
756
00:45:28,590 --> 00:45:29,810
Of course not.
757
00:45:30,250 --> 00:45:32,070
But he can't take that risk.
758
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:37,679
This is the man who once denounced his
own brother for naming his prizepick
759
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:38,730
Brezhnev.
760
00:45:47,620 --> 00:45:50,300
This is going to take a long time,
Tracy.
761
00:45:50,301 --> 00:45:52,179
Why don't you go and find your sister?
762
00:45:52,180 --> 00:45:54,520
No. I'd rather stay and watch you.
763
00:45:54,820 --> 00:45:55,870
Okay.
764
00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:57,470
Good.
765
00:46:00,311 --> 00:46:03,529
Have you always been a mechanic?
766
00:46:03,530 --> 00:46:04,580
No.
767
00:46:04,670 --> 00:46:07,200
First, I studied modern languages at
university.
768
00:46:07,550 --> 00:46:11,130
But then they took away my, er... Is
that my stipendium?
769
00:46:11,350 --> 00:46:12,400
A grant.
770
00:46:12,690 --> 00:46:14,370
When I was caught breaking the law.
771
00:46:14,610 --> 00:46:15,660
What did you do?
772
00:46:15,930 --> 00:46:19,240
I was caught with a copy of 1984, which,
of course, was prohibited.
773
00:46:19,710 --> 00:46:20,760
I watched that film.
774
00:46:21,090 --> 00:46:22,350
No, not the film, the book.
775
00:46:22,690 --> 00:46:24,250
Oh, it was a book and all, was it?
776
00:46:25,350 --> 00:46:27,700
It's true about the British education
system.
777
00:46:28,970 --> 00:46:31,260
I didn't really pay much attention at
school.
778
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,240
I was far too interested in my Daryl.
779
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:34,810
Daryl?
780
00:46:35,380 --> 00:46:36,820
Just some boy I went out with.
781
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,240
Gone really quick, hasn't it?
782
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:46,980
I've enjoyed it, though. Learned a lot.
783
00:46:46,981 --> 00:46:52,559
Even though it's a casualty department,
that's very interesting now.
784
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,730
Learning about the German health
service.
785
00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:00,850
So, what do we do for the rest of the
week, eh, Sharon?
786
00:47:01,270 --> 00:47:02,710
Three full days in Berlin.
787
00:47:03,410 --> 00:47:04,970
All of the BBC's expense.
788
00:47:05,630 --> 00:47:07,620
I've hired us a car, go anywhere we
like.
789
00:47:08,910 --> 00:47:09,990
Can't they sound red?
790
00:47:10,990 --> 00:47:14,540
I'd have thought that was the last
colour they'd want Berlin painted,
791
00:47:14,541 --> 00:47:18,449
Well, all right, shall we? We don't have
to do that. We can go on the over
792
00:47:18,450 --> 00:47:20,730
trams. All right, shall we?
793
00:47:21,610 --> 00:47:23,600
I don't know why you're so hard on
Barry.
794
00:47:23,601 --> 00:47:28,149
It's because he won that stupid game
show. He actually thinks he's going to
795
00:47:28,150 --> 00:47:29,410
second time lucky with me.
796
00:47:30,379 --> 00:47:31,429
You hypocrite.
797
00:47:31,430 --> 00:47:35,399
What? You only went on that game show
because you wanted a week's free Lego.
798
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:37,979
You got the up with Barry because you
don't fancy him.
799
00:47:37,980 --> 00:47:39,030
No.
800
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:41,130
Yeah.
801
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:45,839
Still don't stop me wanting to push him
under a bus every time I set eyes on
802
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:46,890
him.
803
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,470
Anyway, what are you and me doing
tonight, then?
804
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,020
I'm going out for dinner with Manfred.
805
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:54,410
Who were?
806
00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:56,040
What do you mean, who were?
807
00:47:56,460 --> 00:47:57,740
I mean, who were.
808
00:47:58,060 --> 00:47:59,380
So should I wait up or what?
809
00:47:59,740 --> 00:48:01,000
It's only dinner, Sharon.
810
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:02,860
What's for after, though?
811
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:06,500
Come on, Trace, I can read you like a
book.
812
00:48:07,060 --> 00:48:11,299
One of them racy ones where the heroine
ends up in the sack with a hunky -crank
813
00:48:11,300 --> 00:48:12,780
mechanic. Do you mind?
814
00:48:13,620 --> 00:48:14,670
All right.
815
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:19,900
Look me in the eye and say, I don't
fancy Manfred.
816
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,580
I didn't say I don't fancy him.
817
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,490
Don't mean I intend to do anything about
it.
818
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:28,000
Anyway, he might not fancy me.
819
00:48:28,810 --> 00:48:29,870
Why should you care?
820
00:48:30,310 --> 00:48:34,050
You're a born -again virgin, aren't you?
I've still got feelings, Sharon.
821
00:48:34,670 --> 00:48:35,950
I'm not a robot, you know.
822
00:48:37,470 --> 00:48:39,750
I thought of being unfaithful to my
Daryl.
823
00:48:40,110 --> 00:48:42,490
Who's talking about being unfaithful?
824
00:48:43,570 --> 00:48:47,240
Unfaithful is meeting a bloke, moving in
with him and filing for divorce.
825
00:48:47,430 --> 00:48:53,249
A little bit of intimacy in a foreign
country with a German national dish
826
00:48:53,250 --> 00:48:54,300
being unfaithful.
827
00:48:54,990 --> 00:48:58,780
It's just sort of giving the
equipment... a bit of an overhaul.
828
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:04,339
Otherwise you'll end up like that
Messerschmitt Trace, all rusty with bits
829
00:49:04,340 --> 00:49:05,339
falling off.
830
00:49:05,340 --> 00:49:07,570
Look, Sharon, it's just dinner, all
right?
831
00:49:07,580 --> 00:49:08,900
All right, all right.
832
00:49:11,020 --> 00:49:13,790
So you've told them about your husband
then, have you?
833
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:30,860
So she still lives in Dresden, your mum?
834
00:49:31,220 --> 00:49:35,880
Yes. And my sister is a doctor in
Leipzig. My brother is an engineer in
835
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,620
And we had a dog called Trudy, but she
died.
836
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,630
Is there anything else you want to know
about me?
837
00:49:42,820 --> 00:49:43,870
What do you mean?
838
00:49:43,871 --> 00:49:47,759
You've asked me all about me, but the
one question you haven't asked me is, am
839
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:48,810
married?
840
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:51,640
It's none of my business, is it?
841
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,950
Or maybe if you ask me if I'm married,
you think I'm married.
842
00:49:55,070 --> 00:49:58,620
But every time I asked you a personal
question, you tried to change the
843
00:50:00,490 --> 00:50:02,530
I didn't ask if you'd be helping, did I?
844
00:50:04,930 --> 00:50:05,980
I'm sorry.
845
00:50:06,630 --> 00:50:07,680
I was married.
846
00:50:08,430 --> 00:50:09,630
But it didn't work out.
847
00:50:09,950 --> 00:50:11,930
No children, no broken bones.
848
00:50:13,190 --> 00:50:14,240
You?
849
00:50:15,690 --> 00:50:16,740
Yeah, I'm married.
850
00:50:17,470 --> 00:50:19,700
But we're not living together at the
moment.
851
00:50:36,490 --> 00:50:43,030
Never want to do What am I to do?
852
00:50:43,750 --> 00:50:49,989
Can't help it Love
853
00:50:49,990 --> 00:50:55,749
always been my game Play it how I may
854
00:50:55,750 --> 00:51:02,369
I was made that way Can't
855
00:51:02,370 --> 00:51:03,420
help it
856
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:18,259
If you had told me one year ago I would
drink champagne in a luxury hotel in the
857
00:51:18,260 --> 00:51:20,060
West with a beautiful English woman.
858
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:24,740
If you told me a year ago, I'd be...
Never mind.
859
00:51:25,780 --> 00:51:26,830
So now what?
860
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:28,970
It's up to you.
861
00:51:30,340 --> 00:51:31,700
I know it's up to me.
862
00:51:32,100 --> 00:51:33,150
It's the trouble.
863
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:35,280
But you do like me.
864
00:51:35,700 --> 00:51:36,750
Of course.
865
00:51:37,100 --> 00:51:38,150
Good.
866
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:39,610
That is good.
867
00:51:41,290 --> 00:51:44,210
Because, Tracy, I think I'm falling in
love with you.
868
00:51:52,230 --> 00:51:53,280
Hello.
869
00:51:54,610 --> 00:51:55,660
Samaritans.
870
00:51:56,630 --> 00:51:57,850
This is Dorian Green.
871
00:51:59,150 --> 00:52:00,350
What do you mean, again?
872
00:52:02,130 --> 00:52:03,190
All right, I'll hold.
873
00:52:10,700 --> 00:52:12,200
two slags. What?
874
00:52:12,700 --> 00:52:13,750
Your girls.
875
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:15,780
The ugly sisters. Where are they?
876
00:52:17,180 --> 00:52:18,320
They're in Berlin.
877
00:52:18,780 --> 00:52:19,830
Oh, yeah.
878
00:52:20,420 --> 00:52:22,240
And I'm Barbara Cartland.
879
00:52:23,220 --> 00:52:26,520
I've read your groin torn out by a
hungry pitiful terrier.
880
00:52:26,780 --> 00:52:27,830
Oh, God.
881
00:52:29,180 --> 00:52:30,420
Not my groin.
882
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:36,240
And men tell us that Theo Popolopoulos
doesn't cough up.
883
00:52:36,660 --> 00:52:39,800
So you better tell your daughters if
they don't get the money.
884
00:52:40,750 --> 00:52:41,800
My daughter?
885
00:52:42,730 --> 00:52:43,780
That's right, love.
886
00:52:44,010 --> 00:52:46,470
And just to show we ain't plonking
about.
887
00:52:49,990 --> 00:52:51,040
Nice.
888
00:53:06,790 --> 00:53:08,030
Hazel, jab it.
889
00:53:18,570 --> 00:53:19,620
Do not disturb.
890
00:53:20,510 --> 00:53:21,560
Please, Sharon.
891
00:53:23,570 --> 00:53:24,620
Lucky cat.
892
00:53:26,950 --> 00:53:30,410
She thinks I'm spending the night with
Barry.
893
00:53:38,570 --> 00:53:39,930
Oops. Sorry.
894
00:53:39,931 --> 00:53:43,649
Look, I'll come back in half -hour,
shall I?
895
00:53:43,650 --> 00:53:45,670
Or 45 minutes, if you ask me nicely.
896
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:54,080
After all, this is your room.
897
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:05,220
Geoffrey, I cannot afford a divorce.
898
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:06,860
I've got too much to lose.
899
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:08,620
I don't know what to do.
900
00:54:08,980 --> 00:54:10,840
I don't know where else to look for her.
901
00:54:11,540 --> 00:54:13,300
Of course I've tried Brentcroft.
902
00:54:17,020 --> 00:54:19,000
Marcus! Thank God!
903
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:20,490
Dolly!
904
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:23,600
Marcus, it was terrible.
905
00:54:23,660 --> 00:54:25,300
I was staying next door.
906
00:54:25,540 --> 00:54:28,520
Next door? And these dreadful women
tortured me.
907
00:54:28,900 --> 00:54:29,950
Sharon and Tracey?
908
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:33,020
They were away, these other dreadful
women.
909
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,680
And look what they did to my nails.
910
00:54:36,700 --> 00:54:38,620
Oh, I was so frightened.
911
00:54:39,660 --> 00:54:40,760
Come on, sit down.
912
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:42,720
Come on, you're all right now.
913
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:44,120
I'll look after you.
914
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,300
Oh, we're together again.
915
00:54:47,540 --> 00:54:48,590
Yes.
916
00:54:49,020 --> 00:54:50,520
And what about the chick, sir?
917
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:55,720
Lucinda, she's gone. I fired her. It was
all a terrible mistake.
918
00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:58,200
Oh, I'm sorry, babe.
919
00:54:59,140 --> 00:55:00,760
I was under stress.
920
00:55:00,761 --> 00:55:04,819
You don't know what I've been going
through. I know exactly what you've been
921
00:55:04,820 --> 00:55:05,870
going through.
922
00:55:06,500 --> 00:55:10,939
But there are no second chances, Marcus,
because marriage demands faithfulness
923
00:55:10,940 --> 00:55:11,990
on both sides.
924
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:13,610
I know.
925
00:55:13,611 --> 00:55:14,559
I know.
926
00:55:14,560 --> 00:55:15,610
I know.
927
00:55:16,220 --> 00:55:19,040
So, how can I make it up to you?
928
00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:20,950
Well...
929
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:23,400
Barbados is very nice with time of year.
930
00:55:31,240 --> 00:55:32,290
Think of this one.
931
00:55:32,700 --> 00:55:33,750
How much?
932
00:55:35,820 --> 00:55:36,870
500 mark.
933
00:55:37,940 --> 00:55:38,990
That's not bad.
934
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:41,640
Your Manfred will love you in there.
935
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:43,010
Oh, leave it at.
936
00:55:43,100 --> 00:55:44,150
Here, try it.
937
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:48,080
What am I going to do, shall?
938
00:55:50,220 --> 00:55:52,080
You know what I mean about Manfred.
939
00:55:52,420 --> 00:55:53,540
It's all your fault.
940
00:55:53,541 --> 00:55:58,019
You mean if I hadn't barged in last
night, you would have got your leg over?
941
00:55:58,020 --> 00:56:01,379
No, I mean, you haven't covered me in
the first place. I've never invited you
942
00:56:01,380 --> 00:56:02,430
back.
943
00:56:03,580 --> 00:56:04,660
He's lovely, though.
944
00:56:05,060 --> 00:56:06,110
What, Manfred?
945
00:56:06,820 --> 00:56:11,940
Look, you're a married woman on holiday.
Your husband's otherwise engaged.
946
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,540
We're talking biology here, Trace,
that's all.
947
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:19,420
Your hormones are crying out to be
stirred up.
948
00:56:20,029 --> 00:56:24,170
Well, it's more than that. What have we
really meant for each other? You're not.
949
00:56:24,790 --> 00:56:26,470
He's not even got a sense of humour.
950
00:56:26,630 --> 00:56:28,070
Well, he's German, isn't he?
951
00:56:29,090 --> 00:56:31,800
Anyway, I've got enough of you cracking
jokes all day.
952
00:56:32,330 --> 00:56:34,150
You've only known him five minutes.
953
00:56:34,970 --> 00:56:36,970
So he's got nice muscles, so what?
954
00:56:37,870 --> 00:56:40,760
Come on, let's play for these and go and
have a coffee, eh?
955
00:56:41,510 --> 00:56:44,460
Actually, I think I'll go and see how
Manfred's getting on.
956
00:56:48,430 --> 00:56:49,480
Hello?
957
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:51,210
Tracy, hello.
958
00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:55,980
Go on, Trace. Don't mind me.
959
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:00,080
That's a beautiful jacket.
960
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:02,160
See, I told you he'd like it.
961
00:57:02,820 --> 00:57:04,500
Is that big car coming along then?
962
00:57:04,780 --> 00:57:06,220
It's coming along quite well.
963
00:57:06,221 --> 00:57:09,479
It won't be ready by the time you have
to go home. I'll have to bring it to
964
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:10,530
England next week.
965
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:13,060
Is he coming over then?
966
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:14,410
Of course.
967
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:16,560
Tracy said I can stay in her big house.
968
00:57:17,860 --> 00:57:20,450
You said that'd be all right, then, did
you, Tracy?
969
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:22,600
Well, we talked about it.
970
00:57:24,420 --> 00:57:25,470
A moment.
971
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:31,440
Are you out of your tree? What?
972
00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:33,360
Asking him to come and live.
973
00:57:33,361 --> 00:57:35,999
I don't think you've got any right to
object to him coming and living in my
974
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:37,700
house. And what about Daryl?
975
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:40,900
You don't think he might be a teeny
-weeny bit upset?
976
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:44,660
I'm not saying Manfred should stay, you
know, long -term.
977
00:57:45,710 --> 00:57:48,240
We can get a photo of his hand and I'll
see him there.
978
00:57:48,370 --> 00:57:52,750
And you could change your name to Dorian
Green by depot.
979
00:57:53,390 --> 00:57:54,440
Dorian's just lust.
980
00:57:55,010 --> 00:57:57,570
This is... You know.
981
00:57:58,930 --> 00:58:01,010
I hope you know what you're doing,
Trace.
982
00:58:01,270 --> 00:58:03,270
Oh, shut up, Sharon. Of course I don't.
983
00:58:29,070 --> 00:58:30,350
Yeah, right.
984
00:58:33,290 --> 00:58:34,910
End of holiday romance.
985
00:58:35,650 --> 00:58:37,210
Message receiving understood.
986
00:58:37,410 --> 00:58:38,930
Roger. Over and out.
987
00:58:42,290 --> 00:58:44,610
It might not just be boring, you know.
988
00:58:44,990 --> 00:58:46,250
He might be mental, I know.
989
00:58:48,950 --> 00:58:50,350
And I've missed him, shall.
990
00:58:51,790 --> 00:58:52,840
What, Manfred?
991
00:58:54,270 --> 00:58:57,880
Blimey, Trace, they've only just
switched off the seatbelts, haven't
992
00:59:02,390 --> 00:59:07,430
If I see Barry once more in my life, I'm
going to commit a murder.
993
00:59:07,650 --> 00:59:09,330
Don't worry, cases ain't up yet.
994
00:59:10,810 --> 00:59:11,860
Excuse me, officer.
995
00:59:12,569 --> 00:59:16,270
There's a very dodgy bloke on our flight
with his angle bandaged up.
996
00:59:16,271 --> 00:59:20,509
And I think you might find something
very interesting if you look under those
997
00:59:20,510 --> 00:59:21,560
bandages.
998
00:59:27,470 --> 00:59:30,780
Excuse me, sir. Would you mind stepping
in the office for a moment?
999
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:57,080
From Daryl. No, from Manfred.
1000
00:59:57,081 --> 01:00:00,399
He must have sent it the day before
yesterday, so that'd be you.
1001
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:01,450
Hmm.
1002
01:00:01,540 --> 01:00:02,590
Oh, one from Chris.
1003
01:00:02,820 --> 01:00:04,960
Ah, there's one from your Daryl.
1004
01:00:06,780 --> 01:00:08,000
I'll read it later.
1005
01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:12,010
I hope you know what you're getting
yourself into, Trace.
1006
01:00:12,940 --> 01:00:14,860
You go, in case Barry followed us.
1007
01:00:17,980 --> 01:00:19,400
Thank you very much.
1008
01:00:20,220 --> 01:00:23,300
I wish I could speak German.
1009
01:00:23,301 --> 01:00:24,859
What are you doing?
1010
01:00:24,860 --> 01:00:26,539
going? Do you really want to know?
1011
01:00:26,540 --> 01:00:27,590
No, not really.
1012
01:00:27,591 --> 01:00:31,879
Well, while you two have been
gallivanting round Germany, I have left
1013
01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:33,740
husband. I have returned to my husband.
1014
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:38,379
I have been spurned by my mother,
ignored by the Samaritans, and assaulted
1015
01:00:38,380 --> 01:00:42,230
two psychopathic women with a pit bull
terrier who thought I was your mother.
1016
01:00:45,340 --> 01:00:47,630
Well, they're very short -sighted pit
bulls.
1017
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:50,660
Some McCarthy women are turning ugly.
1018
01:00:50,820 --> 01:00:52,300
What do you mean, turning?
1019
01:00:56,069 --> 01:00:58,570
Oh, I was wondering when you'd notice.
1020
01:00:59,530 --> 01:01:04,830
Those disgusting harpies trimmed them
for me with your sabatier meat cleaver.
1021
01:01:05,470 --> 01:01:07,630
Oh, I hope you washed it up after.
1022
01:01:11,661 --> 01:01:16,209
So, did you bring the message mitt back
with you?
1023
01:01:16,210 --> 01:01:18,970
No, it was a wreck. We had to find some
bloke to do it up.
1024
01:01:19,470 --> 01:01:21,030
He's bringing it over next week.
1025
01:01:21,870 --> 01:01:22,920
Great.
1026
01:01:23,839 --> 01:01:25,500
So, who is he then, this bloke?
1027
01:01:26,220 --> 01:01:27,780
Good -looking German hunk, eh?
1028
01:01:28,540 --> 01:01:32,739
Come off it. He's 70 of his a day. A
nicotine -stained moustache, no teeth
1029
01:01:32,740 --> 01:01:33,790
bad breath.
1030
01:01:34,140 --> 01:01:35,460
Well, Sharon's type, then.
1031
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:40,340
Just for a warning, they said.
1032
01:01:41,740 --> 01:01:44,510
If you ask me, the McCarthy women are
worse than the men.
1033
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:46,780
Good job me and Trace weren't there.
1034
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:47,850
We bite our nails.
1035
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:51,700
It'll be my fingers next, they said.
1036
01:01:52,970 --> 01:01:54,770
Don't worry, Chris, it's all in hand.
1037
01:01:55,490 --> 01:01:56,540
Look,
1038
01:01:57,570 --> 01:01:59,800
the car will be here next week, as good
as new.
1039
01:01:59,801 --> 01:02:02,749
And I've already booked it into one of
those collector's car auctions for that
1040
01:02:02,750 --> 01:02:03,800
weekend.
1041
01:02:03,801 --> 01:02:06,569
I just hope the McCarthy's await, that's
all.
1042
01:02:06,570 --> 01:02:07,620
They'll wait.
1043
01:02:08,090 --> 01:02:10,320
Anyway, what's the worst they can do to
you?
1044
01:02:15,370 --> 01:02:16,490
What? Sideways?
1045
01:02:18,331 --> 01:02:23,979
And then when I saw Daryl this
afternoon, he was so sweet.
1046
01:02:23,980 --> 01:02:27,350
He could see I was upset about
something, and he tried to cheer me up.
1047
01:02:27,351 --> 01:02:30,539
Well, I don't think I'm the best person
to give you advice, Tracy.
1048
01:02:30,540 --> 01:02:33,999
Of course you are, Dorian. You know more
about furtive, guilt -ridden sex than
1049
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,050
anyone I know.
1050
01:02:35,051 --> 01:02:38,779
Thank you for that endorsement, Tracy,
but I've turned my back on all of that
1051
01:02:38,780 --> 01:02:40,900
now. I am a one -man woman.
1052
01:02:41,240 --> 01:02:42,320
One at a time, you mean.
1053
01:02:42,980 --> 01:02:46,340
No, I'm serious, Tracy. My days of
wanton lust are behind me.
1054
01:02:46,341 --> 01:02:50,219
Anyway, I didn't think you and Manfred
actually did anything.
1055
01:02:50,220 --> 01:02:52,200
Well, we didn't. But I wanted to.
1056
01:02:52,201 --> 01:02:56,059
And if Sharon hadn't barged in... Tracy,
life is too short to worry about the
1057
01:02:56,060 --> 01:02:57,200
sins you didn't commit.
1058
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:01,999
But I really wanted him, Dorian. The
last time I felt like that about someone
1059
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,600
was when I... You know, the first time
with Daryl.
1060
01:03:05,140 --> 01:03:08,390
I can imagine, Tracy, and I sympathise.
It sounds like me and Luke.
1061
01:03:08,540 --> 01:03:12,960
But I promise you, it is only animal
magnetism. No, it ain't just that.
1062
01:03:13,220 --> 01:03:17,200
It can't be. It can be. I know. As you
said, I am an expert.
1063
01:03:21,270 --> 01:03:24,390
Yeah, we can't wait to see the car,
Manfred. It sounds great.
1064
01:03:28,710 --> 01:03:32,650
Listen, Manfred, before you go on, I
don't think you should come with the
1065
01:03:34,410 --> 01:03:37,840
I just don't think it's a good idea you
come into England, that's all.
1066
01:03:39,190 --> 01:03:41,250
Of course I like you, that's the
problem.
1067
01:03:41,930 --> 01:03:43,290
You made Berlin fantastic.
1068
01:03:44,410 --> 01:03:45,850
My life's here in Chigwell.
1069
01:03:46,510 --> 01:03:47,890
I've got responsibilities.
1070
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:52,670
I know I said my husband and I weren't
living together.
1071
01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:55,000
No, I weren't lying.
1072
01:03:57,540 --> 01:03:59,000
I'm sorry too, Manfred.
1073
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:01,690
Manfred?
1074
01:04:02,920 --> 01:04:03,970
Manfred?
1075
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:11,680
You're young up.
1076
01:04:12,060 --> 01:04:13,110
Oh, Shell.
1077
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:15,540
It's for the best, Trace.
1078
01:04:16,220 --> 01:04:17,270
Do you reckon?
1079
01:04:17,680 --> 01:04:18,730
I know.
1080
01:04:22,020 --> 01:04:23,420
Yeah. Take it well, did he?
1081
01:04:24,580 --> 01:04:25,630
What do you think?
1082
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:27,650
Oh, dear.
1083
01:04:29,180 --> 01:04:32,850
Well, let's just pray to God you don't
hang on to the Messerschmitt, then.
1084
01:05:44,910 --> 01:05:47,620
Blimey. No wonder the crats lost the
Battle of Britain.
1085
01:05:49,450 --> 01:05:50,500
Trice, stop.
1086
01:05:50,501 --> 01:05:53,289
Look at her charm. Why don't you not
scratch that paintwork? If I had a
1087
01:05:53,290 --> 01:05:54,790
paintwork, we'd be lid -stuck.
1088
01:06:12,941 --> 01:06:15,599
What are you doing in London?
1089
01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:17,280
I've got a bone to pick with Sharon.
1090
01:06:17,281 --> 01:06:18,239
She's there.
1091
01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:19,739
She won't be back till lunchtime.
1092
01:06:19,740 --> 01:06:20,790
I'll wait.
1093
01:06:30,100 --> 01:06:31,200
He does it sometimes.
1094
01:06:31,201 --> 01:06:34,779
You just have to switch it off and
gently fiddle it out with a wooden
1095
01:06:34,780 --> 01:06:37,130
Don't worry, I've got the same toaster
at home.
1096
01:06:44,511 --> 01:06:47,529
Blimey, what are you doing here?
1097
01:06:47,530 --> 01:06:48,580
Hello, Sharon.
1098
01:06:48,581 --> 01:06:51,309
If I'd known you were there, I'd have
gone down to the council and registered
1099
01:06:51,310 --> 01:06:52,360
homeless.
1100
01:06:52,530 --> 01:06:54,150
What do you mean, if you'd known?
1101
01:06:54,410 --> 01:06:58,750
Whose new Golf GTI Turbo 16 -valve
dropheading thing's parked in your
1102
01:06:58,751 --> 01:07:00,469
No -one's.
1103
01:07:00,470 --> 01:07:01,520
What?
1104
01:07:02,190 --> 01:07:04,420
There's nothing in the drive except
tarmac.
1105
01:07:05,210 --> 01:07:07,500
Come on, Shazza, you can't catch me that
easy.
1106
01:07:19,781 --> 01:07:22,179
Lovely age registration.
1107
01:07:22,180 --> 01:07:22,919
Can't be earlier.
1108
01:07:22,920 --> 01:07:23,970
Where's your phone?
1109
01:07:26,100 --> 01:07:32,140
What do you want?
1110
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:35,540
We'll have the money by next weekend, we
promise.
1111
01:07:36,180 --> 01:07:38,680
Yeah, well, we ain't interested no more.
1112
01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:42,320
We said we'd have the cash or goods to
the value of.
1113
01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:46,200
You're getting soft, Trace. Last time I
said internal organs.
1114
01:08:30,060 --> 01:08:31,440
what this means, don't you?
1115
01:08:31,779 --> 01:08:35,020
Yeah. Barry's Volkswagen ain't going to
pass its MOT.
1116
01:08:36,920 --> 01:08:41,720
It also means we may be able to flog the
Messerschmitt and keep the money.
1117
01:08:54,560 --> 01:08:56,939
Hello, lads.
1118
01:08:56,940 --> 01:08:58,259
Guess what?
1119
01:08:58,260 --> 01:08:59,520
What? I've got your money.
1120
01:08:59,790 --> 01:09:02,490
Yeah, my old lady's going to smuggle it
in on Monday.
1121
01:09:02,491 --> 01:09:06,068
Well, she'll get her hands on them sort
of spoons then. Well, she's flogging my
1122
01:09:06,069 --> 01:09:09,019
car in auction today. In fact, she's
probably sold it me now.
1123
01:09:09,670 --> 01:09:10,720
What car?
1124
01:09:10,950 --> 01:09:15,068
No, what car don't do classified
advertising? It's more of a sort of
1125
01:09:15,069 --> 01:09:16,119
magazine.
1126
01:09:17,850 --> 01:09:20,410
Come here.
1127
01:09:20,411 --> 01:09:26,589
So tell us about this car then, Chris.
Well, that's why Sharon wanted to get a
1128
01:09:26,590 --> 01:09:29,840
Berlin. I've got this car there.
Someone's looking after it for me.
1129
01:09:29,850 --> 01:09:32,440
She brought it back to sell. It's worth
a lot of money.
1130
01:09:33,390 --> 01:09:38,689
Oh, your wife is a stupid, mindless
slag.
1131
01:09:38,890 --> 01:09:40,820
I know, but I married her. What can I
do?
1132
01:09:41,470 --> 01:09:42,550
I'm not talking to you.
1133
01:09:42,910 --> 01:09:43,960
I'm talking to him.
1134
01:09:45,149 --> 01:09:47,069
I said we should play it cool, didn't I?
1135
01:09:47,070 --> 01:09:50,648
Squeeze the money out of the bubble.
But, oh, no, that's not good enough for
1136
01:09:50,649 --> 01:09:53,108
your Viv, is it? She's got to prove
she's some sort of gangland boss who
1137
01:09:53,109 --> 01:09:53,749
be crossed.
1138
01:09:53,750 --> 01:09:56,280
She was doing what she thought best.
Thought best?
1139
01:09:56,281 --> 01:09:58,759
Sober, he was actually going to pay his
debts for the first time in his horrible
1140
01:09:58,760 --> 01:10:02,059
life, and your ugly, tattooed slut only
turns his motor into the world's biggest
1141
01:10:02,060 --> 01:10:03,110
stock, so can you.
1142
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:07,759
I tell you what, that pitbull teddy of
hers has got more brains in his corpus
1143
01:10:07,760 --> 01:10:09,930
than she has in the hole of her flaming
head.
1144
01:10:42,101 --> 01:10:43,749
one piece.
1145
01:10:43,750 --> 01:10:44,800
Yeah, you alright?
1146
01:10:45,610 --> 01:10:48,140
I heard the McCarthy women paid you
another visit.
1147
01:10:49,490 --> 01:10:52,070
Yeah, yeah, we was lucky they took it
out in the car.
1148
01:10:52,270 --> 01:10:54,010
What a choker, eh?
1149
01:10:54,430 --> 01:10:58,790
They go to all that trouble to find my
Messerschmitt, bring it back, do it up,
1150
01:10:58,870 --> 01:10:59,920
and they crush it.
1151
01:11:00,730 --> 01:11:02,410
Yeah, yeah, it's heartbreaking.
1152
01:11:03,670 --> 01:11:05,390
Still, I'm off the hook.
1153
01:11:06,430 --> 01:11:08,410
What, the McCarfys were in your debtor?
1154
01:11:08,450 --> 01:11:12,310
Well, not exactly, but they put five of
the screws in hospital.
1155
01:11:12,311 --> 01:11:17,359
It's like I've been transferred to the
partner of a serious psychopath wing.
1156
01:11:17,360 --> 01:11:21,090
Yours truly has been made a trustee and
been given a job in a prison library.
1157
01:11:21,920 --> 01:11:24,150
Too bad you never learnt to read, hasn't
it?
1158
01:11:25,740 --> 01:11:28,390
So we took it down the auction and
cleared nine grand.
1159
01:11:28,391 --> 01:11:29,439
Nine grand?
1160
01:11:29,440 --> 01:11:30,939
And she ain't going to tell Chris?
1161
01:11:30,940 --> 01:11:33,950
If you don't tweak, you won't let on,
will you? Of course not.
1162
01:11:33,951 --> 01:11:36,379
Yeah, did you get the photos back from
the chemist yet?
1163
01:11:36,380 --> 01:11:37,430
Oh, yeah.
1164
01:11:43,430 --> 01:11:44,480
This is our hotel.
1165
01:11:44,690 --> 01:11:46,310
Right. That's the telly crew.
1166
01:11:46,550 --> 01:11:48,410
Right bunch of piss -arties they were.
1167
01:11:49,450 --> 01:11:52,880
That's Sharon and Barry at Berlin Zoo,
just before the chimp bit him.
1168
01:11:53,350 --> 01:11:56,360
That's what the Messerschmitt looked
like when we found it.
1169
01:11:56,470 --> 01:11:57,520
Oi.
1170
01:11:59,150 --> 01:12:01,980
Who's this muscle man lurking in the
background there?
1171
01:12:02,010 --> 01:12:07,510
Eh? I mean, he don't look like no 70
-year -old toothless Jerry to me.
1172
01:12:09,090 --> 01:12:10,230
Oh, that's Manfred.
1173
01:12:10,710 --> 01:12:11,760
The old man's nephew.
1174
01:12:12,430 --> 01:12:14,050
He helped a bit with the body work.
1175
01:12:15,670 --> 01:12:18,080
You sure he didn't help out with your
body work?
1176
01:12:18,410 --> 01:12:20,410
Come off it. It was dead boring.
1177
01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:21,970
I had no sense of humour.
1178
01:12:23,970 --> 01:12:25,020
Don't you trust me?
1179
01:12:29,150 --> 01:12:30,530
Yeah, of course I do.
1180
01:12:31,370 --> 01:12:35,950
Oh, look, I know I've got a jealous
streak and prison don't make it no
1181
01:12:36,030 --> 01:12:41,510
but I thought of you outside waiting for
me, keeping yourself for me.
1182
01:12:44,810 --> 01:12:45,890
What's wrong, sugar?
1183
01:12:47,870 --> 01:12:48,920
Nothing.
1184
01:12:49,010 --> 01:12:50,930
I've just forgotten how much I love you.
1185
01:13:14,920 --> 01:13:17,920
Love's always been my game
1186
01:13:44,750 --> 01:13:49,049
Stay with us for the king of comedy
giving you the gift of laughter. Don't
1187
01:13:49,050 --> 01:13:52,600
we don't look after you. It's Kenny
Everett and his television show, Up
1188
01:13:52,601 --> 01:13:53,739
Paramount Comedy 2.
1189
01:13:53,740 --> 01:13:58,290
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