Original subtitles

Bob Donnelly.

Chris Manning.

I'm not quite ready for you. Do you want to come up to the house for a coffee?

All right.

Good. Hop on.

What a place to run a business.

Sure is.

If I lived here, I'd never go back to town.

You've got to hit the bright lights every now and then. You go crazy

I might take a gander at some of these birds before we go back.

Put your hands up.

You look stupid. Put them down again.

You're under arrest. You try anything and I'll shoot.

I'm under arrest?

What are you, a cop?

Get into the house.

You sure you've got the right bloke?

Yeah. You'll do.

I'll do?

What is it? You'll see. Now get in here.

Come on, quick!

It's only caught a path. Come back to bed.

Oh, Scotty.

What? What is it?

Um, I've got to get home. I've got someone staying with me. She's a friend

Kate. What, lesbian Kate?

Yeah, um, she just broke up with a girlfriend and she needed somewhere to

That doesn't mean she needs a babysitter, does it? She's been feeling

down.

She's not just staying with me.

What?

She's moving in with me.

I think I'm in love with her.

What?

Well, you've been bonking a woman.

It's not just physical.

What I feel for her is really serious.

I don't believe this. Jen, you're not a lesbian. Since when have you been a

lesbian? I have always been curious. Remember, we did talk about it. Hey, I'm

curious about lesbians. It doesn't mean that I go out and become one.

Scotty, I didn't mean for it to happen.

It just... did.

What about us, then? I mean, how... Things are just starting to get good.

What was last night all about, then? Oh, Scotty.

I still really care about you.

A lot.

Jen, you just said she's broken up with a girlfriend. She's using you.

No, you don't understand.

I have moved on.

What moved on?

Where does that leave me?

God, I'm really sorry.

Don't forget your tooth when you leave.

They're real convict leg irons. Good hate.

Yeah, they're very impressive.

Would you mind telling me why I'm under arrest?

Yeah, violating airspace.

Whose airspace?

Mine. You're under arrest for aviation violations and illegal entry.

Right, illegal entry. And who's the arresting authority?

I am.

Yeah? Well, if you're the law, show us your badge.

Don't play games with me, mate.

Now, name, pilot's license number, credit card number, and then sign it.

Some people will be wondering where I'm in it. Oh, yeah?

Well, let them.

Now, water at your place.

God, Heath, what are you doing here? You've been loaded for 20 minutes and

there's some film producer sitting in the waiting room.

Producer, what's he doing here?

He is a she, and he doesn't look the waiting type.

Okay, all right, I'm there.

Now, I'll tell the press that you're in custody. They come out here, do a big

story, and bingo, I'm on the six o 'clock news.

I thought kidnappers tried to stay clearer than you.

Are you sick or something? I told you, you're not being kidnapped. You're being

held in official custody.

So, do I have any rights?

Yeah, of course. What do you think this is, a police state?

You want to call a lawyer?

Good, yeah. Can I do that?

No.

I don't think so.

Why not?

Well, you've been placed under executive decree.

You can appeal, though.

All right.

I appeal.

Ha! Good decision.

I'll just go and type this in, then I'll come back for the hearing.

Do you like being a film producer?

One way to earn a living.

Must leave lots of famous people.

Thrill wears off very quickly, believe me.

I reckon that'd be great, hanging out with stars.

You ever discover anyone?

That's a Hollywood myth.

I should do some work.

Sure, no worries.

Be there soon.

You can't be a judge and your jury and your boss all at once.

You've got to have a separation of your legal and your government. I've been

dismissed. Wait a minute, I haven't finished yet.

Objection overruled. If I say it's dismissed, it's dismissed. Well, that's

very democratic, is it?

Someone's got to be in charge, haven't they? Otherwise, it'd be anarchy.

What if everybody wanted to be in charge? No, there'll always be

I've been a follower myself all my life. Orange people, communes, kibbutzes,

I've done a lot. I see, and you just thought now you'd like to have a crack

being a guru.

It's not like that.

I just want to live by my own rules for a while, not anyone else's.

Hey, customers!

You'll be all right while I go and look after them, won't you?

Juliet, Oscar, Charlie, this is Big Sky Base.

Juliet, Oscar, Charlie, Scotty, it's me.

Juliet, Oscar, Charlie, yeah, what's happening, Cher? The film developing

rang. And they said, sorry that they didn't have the tape to fix them up, but

they'll be easier to come up with Zabo.

Is that okay?

Zabo?

Yeah, that's okay.

And there's another message.

Jen rang, and she said, can you call her as soon as possible?

Scotty, have you got that?

Yeah, I got that, thanks.

Join Oscar, Charlie.

Busy day, eh?

You don't want to know.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry, you lordship.

They came to see birds, and if you haven't got any... I've got millions of

bloody birds.

Yeah, so where are they? Well, it's the middle of the day, isn't it? They're not

human. Birds get up with the sun. That's when you should have been here.

Listen, Bob, you're going to have to start providing something else if you

to cut the mustard in the coach market.

You're missing the whole bloody point. This isn't the Gold Coast. This is

wilderness. Yeah, well, it's no good to me if the main attractions are gone

walkabout. What about the gift shop? They haven't seen the gift shop yet.

Sorry, Your Lordship.

Oh, that's it. Sorry, eh? Just get on the bloody bus and go then. All of you,

on, piss off out of it.

Don't bother coming back.

Bloody load of tourist scum. Get out of here.

Righto.

You're late.

Oh, hi.

Hi, Tracy. How are you? Good, good. I'm fine.

Oh, what's she doing here? No one knows she's coming.

She seems alive.

No, not if you're a director. Jeff is going to wonder what's hit him.

Okay, what have we got?

Just more pirate stuff.

There you go. What is she doing here? Oh, the star. He's coked off his brain.

can't even remember his lines.

You know, they've done 17 takes of one scene this morning before I left to get

you. You saw one in the second.

You don't sack stars, you sack directors.

You freak.

This is going to be Sunday.

There's the trouble with the world.

They all want Disneyland.

They want everything laid on.

That's why they like electronics. Press a button, goes flash, flash for them.

They'll want it just nice and easy.

Oi!

Why'd that bloke call you your lordship?

Last year, I got this idea.

Made myself a duke. I was going to be like that Prince Leonard guy in WA.

passports, sell stamps, get the people flocking in.

No one came.

They didn't buy it. I made page two in the local paper.

So I declare myself an independent city -state.

A city -state? Where's the city? I don't need one.

I got the idea from the Greeks.

Yeah, it's better than being a bloody duke.

Well, it's just the same.

I mean, you just can't do it. You can't declare yourself a city -state.

Why not?

Eh?

Go on, you tell me.

Why not?

Will you let me know what time you're flying back? Yeah, no worries.

Hi.

Hi. Jeff knows I'm here? Yeah, that's just the... You got the tapes, then?

Oh, sorry, mate. They weren't ready on time. They gave me a message saying

they'd be ready this afternoon.

I couldn't wait. What the hell do they think they're doing?

Well, how would I know, buddy? Why don't you take it up with them?

Hey, what's your problem?

Oh, leave him alone, Quentin.

It's there in Loving Centre.

Where's the party?

No champagne night flights over the city.

Oh, that'd be great.

Drink a little champagne, see the beautiful lights, we could charge a

I'd love it. The problem is the pilots won't. Why?

They don't like to watch.

I don't care what you do, eject the belly and get him halfway coherent.

Hi,

Jeff.

You the runner with the plane company?

Yeah. Can I have a word with you, please?

When you get back on the set, this isn't a holiday inn.

What do you know about filmmaking?

Not much.

So you probably wouldn't have a clue how expensive a day's shoot is.

I could guess.

Yeah, you could, and you'd be wrong.

Now, you listen to me.

Someone is fluggling cocaine onto my hoot. One of the actors, the guy who

whole bloody movie's bankrolled on, is on another planet. Oh, hang on, mate.

What's this got to do with me? Let me finish.

If I find out that you... or anyone at Big Sky is connected with bringing drugs

here. On top of criminal charges, I will personally make sure that your company

is landed with the biggest legal action in flight history and I will make sure

that you never get to fly a plane again. You understand? You get your facts

straight, mate, before you start throwing accusations like that at us.

flying in cocaine, kid. Now, you better do something about it before I do.

Champagne flights? What's wrong with it? It's a great idea.

Champagne flights? It's just semantics. I've done one. It turned into a Fellini

movie in the sky.

What do you mean?

Truly, you might as well call them Big Sky Bacchanalia flights.

Made me feel like a pimp.

Oh, they start off on champagne, well -dressed, then it's naked, drunk and

rolling all over each other. No, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about getting all

dressed up and having a romantic flight over the city. It doesn't happen. Above

3 ,000 feet, they turn feral.

Really? Oh, yeah.

Still waiting for the rushes?

Yeah, thanks.

Look, when Jeff gets his arse kicked, he passes it on.

See how the world operates.

Yeah, but hey, I'm the courier, right? I'm just the guy that flies the stuff

I don't know what's in there.

Well, can't you look?

We can't just open stuff. It's illegal.

We don't make someone's mail.

You're serious about your job, aren't you?

Anything I've got going for me, I know.

Oh, don't be silly.

Why?

You want love?

Of course I want. What's happened?

My girlfriend.

She reckon she's leaving me for one of you lot.

No way.

Why? Oh, well.

When some are loose, some are.

So when did this happen?

This morning.

This doesn't seem real.

I'm getting off that wall.

So what'd she say exactly?

I don't know. She suddenly found the meaning of life and it's not me.

Hey, I'm not anti -gay or anything, okay? I've got gay friends.

I just didn't have a clue.

Well, they say you don't know until you try it.

I've got to get it back somewhere.

Oh, sorry, Scotty. I don't like your chances, mate.

Once a girl turns.

Any word on Chris?

I've been trying, but he's off the air.

He always.

I want to know what's keeping him.

Kidnapped by aliens?

Keep trying, will you, please?

Okay.

You can't be a nation unless you're recognised as one.

Yeah, right, fine. I agree with that. So, who does the recognising? Well, the

UN. Ah, exactly.

Well, I've written to them. Yeah, and what kind of country are you if you're

going to be a city -state?

I don't know. I haven't worked that out yet.

Well, you see, you're all over the place. It's stupid.

Oh, stupid, is it? Listen, you're the one who lost your appeal.

I lost the appeal because you stacked the court.

Ah, you lost the appeal because you can't argue. If you were my barrister,

have given you the arse by now.

Listen, can I use your toilet?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, of course. I'm sorry, mate.

It's out the back.

You're not going to try and escape, are you?

Yes, I will.

Okay.

Chucks! Okay, let's go in straight away.

Okay, I need more passion, please.

Put yourselves into it. You haven't had sex for, like, three months.

And I bet you that will make me pretty horny, okay? Can we go again as soon as

possible?

We're going to be here from here to eternity at this rate, no thank you.

Okay, are we ready?

Okay.

Maybe you'll be able to deliver that lot.

And be careful.

I know what I'm doing, mate.

That'll be a change.

Your toilet's broken.

Yeah, it's been busted for a while.

You hungry?

Not really.

Want to read what I've sent to the telly stations?

Press release.

Good start.

Read it.

Bob Donnelly of the Independent State of Yarrago Creek Station has this

morning... to a ransom of one million dollars.

One million dollars? You're joking.

Don't you think you're worth it?

Well, I just don't know anyone that can afford to pay it. I'm not expecting the

million. It's just to stir them up.

Now read the next bit.

If a ransom of one million dollars is not forthcoming by six o 'clock... Not

forthcoming. Very nice.

The prisoner will face... Yeah, that's the best bit.

Reporters love that stuff.

Execution? You don't think that's a bit heavy -handed?

Anything that brings them out here quick.

Now, you're hungry.

Now I'm hungry.

Echo Whiskey Victor, this is Big Sky Base.

Chris, are you there?

Chris, come in.

Hey, where's Chris? I need to speak to him. He's disappeared.

What's wrong?

Someone on the film crew is dealing coke and they're flying it in on our plane.

How do you know?

Because the director tore my bloody head off. He thinks it's me.

Did he say he thinks it's you?

Just about.

Next flight I'm going to open everything.

Oh, you can't. You're not allowed.

Why not? Then I just call the cops and win the clear. You can't just open

freight. What if you don't find anything?

Look, you're not getting it. They're accusing me.

Are you dealing cocaine?

No, you're not.

So what's the big deal?

Oh, yeah, great. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

What is wrong with that boy?

This is so weird.

What did you... Donnelly.

That's the guy Chris was supposed to pick up.

Oh, no.

This'll be a TV station.

Hello, Yarragul Creek Station. Bob Donnelly speaking.

Is this some sort of a joke?

No joke, lady.

A million bucks or the hostage gets it.

Who am I speaking to? The hostage's boss. Could you put him on, please?

No, I'm afraid he's tied up at the moment.

Look, darling, I don't really care what game you two are playing. Can you just

tell him to get back here immediately?

This isn't a game, lady. I'm serious.

Do you want to see your pilot again?

You'd better start treating me with respect.

How come she's called?

Did you send her the fax? Well, I just wanted to let her know what was going

Here, let me speak to her.

Yeah, well, there'll be TV stations trying to get through.

Lauren? Chris.

What the hell is going on?

Oh, it's OK. I'm fine. It's just a bloke trying to get a bit of publicity for

his place.

Well, he sounds deranged.

No, no, no. He's just a bit stressed.

Look, I mightn't be back for a while.

Chris? Yeah?

Are you really tied up?

As a matter of fact, I am.

Well, I think I should probably call the police.

No, no, no. Look, I'll be back tonight.

Just leave it. No, I really think I should call the police. Nice talking to

What's going on?

I have no idea.

But I think I should call the police anyway.

Gotti?

What are you doing here?

Didn't you get my message?

Yeah, I got it.

I needed to see you. I need to explain properly.

What's to explain? You've changed. I haven't. That doesn't mean that

has changed. I still like you.

Can't we be friends?

Gotti?

Hello?

You know what might get him in?

If I sent them an ear or something.

An ear?

One of your ears.

In a little box.

With cotton wool around it.

Yeah, that'll let them know I mean business.

What about a finger?

Yeah?

Hey, welcome back to Movie Heaven.

How are things?

Getting there.

Oh, and be careful.

You've got an extension cord?

Yeah, ma 'am.

These ones?

Oh, yes, thanks.

Oh,

it's okay. I'll take them.

No, no, it's okay.

This one's a personal delivery.

Here's the rushes you were so touchy about.

Thanks. Leave them there.

Why don't you go and open them?

I'm busy.

What's your problem?

What the hell is wrong with you?

I haven't got time for this.

Scotty, what happened? What did you do?

Sorry, it was in here.

What? The cocaine, it was in the tape and now it's gone. It's just gone.

Can I see you for a moment, please?

the stuff and then it was gone. Just like that. I'm telling you, it was

am not a cocaine dealer, alright?

I'm just trying to clear this up. So you charged straight in and accused my

editor? He's the one bringing the tapes in. Look, he's the one that got so upset

about it, alright? It had to be him. Any more random accusations you'd like to

start tossing around? You're not accusing me.

I'm just trying to help. Did you ever let the tapes out of your sight after

saw this stuff?

No, that's what I've been trying to tell you.

Yeah, well, if you were the only one alone with the tapes and you were the

one who saw the cocaine...

What's everyone supposed to think?

Will you get the plane ready? I'd like to be leaving in about half an hour.

Excuse me, mate. Have you seen Trace?

Ten minutes ago, mate. You don't know where she is?

Couldn't tell you.

Have you seen Trace? I'm sorry. No, I haven't.

Trey! Sorry.

I really thought this would do it this time.

They're just going to ignore me again.

Well, you're way out of date. That's your problem.

Greek city states went out a million years ago, and what's a duke?

Just some pommy -jawed swans around toe -sucking.

You've got to be able to do better than that.

King. I thought of being a king. What?

I like your idea about the independent nation, though.

Yeah.

That's where I went wrong. I mean, it's a stupid idea, isn't it?

I don't even believe in myself.

I mean, why should I?

I'm a Republican.

Are you heading off?

It's you, isn't it?

Bringing in the coke.

What?

Who's always there to help me load and unload the plane? Who handles everything

that I bring in?

I don't believe I'm hearing this. You're the only one that's had the opportunity

every time. How dare you?

You might be having a rough day, but you've got no right to take it out on

okay?

Typical macho bloke, thinking he can unload his problems on the first woman

finds. Okay, I'm sorry, but... No, I don't like drugs.

I've seen too many friends wrecked to have anything to do with them, okay?

Now, if you don't mind, I'm busy.

Okay, read that back to me.

Ah, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb.

That the President of the Republic of Yarragal Creek further declares the

territory a wildlife sanctuary and... Hey, we could declare it a no -fly zone,

like the Americans did in Iraq.

Why not? Yeah, no -fly zone.

Might as well declare it a no -mossy zone too, eh? Go for it.

That was a joke.

What about the heading?

Just constitution, you reckon?

Well, I don't think it is a constitution. I think this is a

Yeah, but I've got to have a constitution. I mean, I want it to all

dinkum. Let's just start with a manifesto.

Hey, I was thinking, wouldn't it be great to invade someone?

You know, could declare war on Canberra.

Well... Oh, they'd send in the army.

Wouldn't be a problem. They can't even step over their own feet.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

What if they send in the Queensland coppers?

Then we'd be in trouble.

Yeah.

All right.

Sanctuary and wilderness.

It's all right. It's me, mate. I'll put your piece up for you.

I don't appreciate anything, you bastards.

You slog your guts out, trying to give them something different, and what do

they do? They will let me do it. Now, you get away. I'm doing this.

National, what was that word again?

Integrity.

Integrity.

Mr. President, look carefully.

Come on, Bob, cut it out. I'm on your side. Just shut up and do as you're

No, I'm not messing about.

Do you hear me?

Get in there.

Go on, get in there.

G'day, Maxie.

How's it going?

Pretty good. Yourself?

Good. We had a woman from Sydney make an inquiry.

Oh, is this the boss from the Big Sky outfit looking for a pilot?

Yeah, that's the one.

Is he here?

No. We heard you were holding him prisoner.

Is that right, Bob?

No, I was cracking tinnies open for him. He's left.

We can check on that.

You don't know how to spell shop, Bob.

I haven't had a copper's education, Paulie.

Come on.

Smarter.

Let's have a look around.

Oh, I'm sorry about that.

You'd better go.

Did you take these?

Yeah.

They're amazing.

I've never seen anything like them.

You like them?

Yeah, I like them, Pop.

I got better at it, see?

The more they got to know me, the closer I could get.

Have you ever tried to sell these?

No, they're mine.

No, no, no, I mean, you don't have the shots, just sell the prints.

You can make coffee table books and calendars.

Have a look at these photos.

Yeah, people can't be bothered to see the real thing. Why would they want to

look at pictures?

Hey, Maxie, what are you doing back here?

Shut up, you lord tip.

Are you the big sky pilot?

Yes, I am.

Are you being detained by this man?

No, I'm not.

Why did you tell me you'd already left?

This is an independent state, Max. You've got no jurisdiction here, you

that. If you were any loopier, Bob, fair dinkum, you'd be dangerous.

Come on.

No jurisdiction, eh?

Gets them every time.

Tell me about this calendar business.

Well, with all these pictures of it, you could have the birds of Yarragle Creek.

When they see these photos in London, Tokyo and places like that, I'll be

them out of here in jumbos.

Yeah?

Jeez, I'll have to get the dunny fixed.

The nurse told me you were the guy that brought Tracy here.

Yeah, Scotty Gibbs.

Hi. Hi, I'm Jane. I'm Tracy's girlfriend.

Thanks for what you did.

So you knew about the coke?

It was heroin she OD'd on.

What? Both used to do it.

Only I stopped.

Must have been selling one to pay for the other.

It leaves me getting all upset about her dealing coke. She must have been

laughing. It's not her, it's the drugs.

Learn to put up with things.

What, even being conned?

That's what gets me.

I know what she goes through.

That's why we lasted so long.

I should have done something.

I shouldn't have let her fool me.

This isn't your fault.

I tried to help her, but...

When you love someone, there comes a point where you just can't do anymore.

You just have to let them be them.

Yeah, what about that one?

Yeah, whack it in.

Well, that'll do you.

How is that?

Seventeen.

You reckon your friend will go for it? Oh, if she's smart, she will, and she's

real smart.

She does those, you know, tourist books and those kind of classy books. Yeah,

why would she want to do a book by some Yarra's old cow cockage?

That's not what you are.

You're a photographer.

Yeah. Yeah, I reckon I am.

You weren't really going to cut my ear off, were you?

It wouldn't have hurt.

It's just cartilage.

I need another drink. Come on, everyone, let's go. I've got four places to go.

Hey, he's here. He's escaped.

Oh, yes. The police just flew out three hours ago. There was some slight delay.

What? I'll tell you later. What's all this? I have decided to cancel the

champagne.

It's just the public decency.

At least you can always have a drink.

Oh, God. Come on. No worries. Just take a sip.

It's fine.

It's fine.

A bit of decency in here wouldn't go and try.

What are you doing?

Just thinking.

Well, think of the name of that publisher, you know, the one I flew up

about 18 months ago?

Huh.

I heard about you two.

It was Rebecca something, Becca, Becca, Tess Ring, Trilling.

Well, what do you want to hear for?

Ah, it's a long story, I promised this guy.

Jannings, was it?

I don't know, I'll put it in something.

Do you think about sitting there all night?

Yeah.

Why?

I don't really want to go home to an empty flat.

Well, if it's any consolation, I did that every night.

That's supposed to help.

Jan finally came to her senses, actually.

Has she ever?

That sounds bad.

It's worse.

So what do you want this publisher for?

Oh, just this bloke. He's mad as a cut snake.

He wants to do something, but he doesn't know how, and he doesn't really know

what he wants.

He just wants his bread to come down butter side up.

Sounds like me.

Sounds like all of us.

It's profound.

Do you want to go to this party?

Ah, me neither.

Gearing.

Sebring.

Petering.

Decimum.

Decimum.

Decimum.

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