Original subtitles

Troy, Coachman said see you on the field right away.

And he did not sound too pleased. Uh -oh.

You think he knows I'm the one who replaced his chair with one made out of

whoopee cushions? What?

You did that?

Probably.

All right, this won't be that bad. I've handled Coach before.

All I gotta do is bring him some brownies, open the container, the smell

out, all is forgiven.

Whoa, Principal Davis is with him.

This is an unprecedented display of scholastic authority.

Get over here, Mr. Dixon.

Well, all I have left is the truth.

Look, for the last four months, I've been suffering from amnesia.

So I shouldn't be blamed for anything that's happened since Coach's chair was

replaced with whoopee cushions.

You did that? Yes.

No, I don't remember. I have amnesia.

What's this all about? It's about time you came up with some better excuses,

young man. Dad!

You're home!

This is so sweet.

I told myself I wasn't going to...

I want to thank you bulldogs for helping me surprise Troy.

Especially Bella.

She's the one who came up with the whole make Troy squirm angle.

Oh, please.

I lived to make Troy squirm.

Anyway, we couldn't have done it without Mr. Davidson Coat.

A father and son reuniting.

Well said.

I'll take care of him.

We'll get you some ice cream.

So, how long you back for, Dad?

Ten days.

But we're going to pack a whole year's worth of quality time into it.

Yeah, we can binge watch the new season of Mud Truck.

Yeah, and your mom can make her famous welcome back brisket. Oh, I love

Invite me, invite me.

Oh, and don't forget Friday's football game.

If we win, we make it to the playoff.

You know, we made the playoffs when I went here, too.

That's the year I set the all -time regular season touchdown record.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah, there's a plaque in the gym wall of fame.

Oh, that's where the ping pong table is. You can look at it after I crush you.

It'll make you feel better. Dream on, kid. Like you've ever beaten me before.

And don't forget to invite Sawyer over for some of that brisket, right?

Yeah, Sawyer, I think you can come along. Relax.

Okay, cool.

I just really like your mom's cooking.

You guys, you guys too.

You're cool.

Hey, Newt, you taking a trip?

You should have told me. I would have bought you the ticket.

One way.

Yep, taking a trip.

Gotta go.

Wait, you're in too much of a rush to be offended?

What's going on?

And why is your suitcase barking?

Uh, it's a barking suitcase.

They're really big and like Japan.

Is it also a farting suitcase?

Can you guys keep a secret?

Oh, he's so cute.

He is not cute. He's tough.

So I named him Tuffy.

You brought a dog to school.

If Principal Davis catches you, you're toast.

I'll take care of him while you're suspended.

Look back, woman.

My mom got him for me, but when I brought him back to my dad's house, my

Brenda started sneezing like crazy.

Apparently she's allergic to him.

Wait, why would your mom give you a dog if your stepmom was allergic?

Oh.

Never mind.

So your plan was to bring the dog to school and roll him around all day?

I don't know.

I didn't think it through.

I'm a single parent trying to do the best I can.

Hey, kids, no running the hallway.

Don't know. Here comes the principal. You guys have to help me hide the dog.

Hi, kids.

What was that?

Yippee! Another school day.

Well, I like your enthusiasm, Miss Dawson.

I was up so late working on

stuff.

Well, stuff is important.

What is that?

Uh, Newt farted.

Yes, it was me. I...

you need a better place to hide Tuffy.

Yeah, what if we put him in the locker room? You can hide him in my locker.

Thanks, Bella.

It's nice having a friend who doesn't blame awful smells on me.

Did you get suspended?

No. You're welcome.

I just want to thank y 'all again for having me over for dinner last night.

mom's brisket is the best.

She even got some leftovers.

Those weren't leftovers. That was our dinner.

We were still eating when you packed your doggie bag, man.

Mr. Dixon, show me where your plaque is.

It's right over there with all the other football awards.

Now, where is it? It used to be right next to your coach's tackling award.

All -time tackling record, Marion P. Russell.

Wait, coach's first name is Marion?

I thought it was Phil. Why would he change his name?

Forget the Marion stuff. Where's my plaque?

Probably just took it down to polish it. What's wrong with a guy named Marion?

My grandfather's name is Marion.

The one day I'm here, I can't even show you guys my plaque.

Don't worry about it, Dad.

Let's just get our ping pong going.

Coach, Marion is a perfectly masculine name, and I never want you to be ashamed

of it.

In fact, I'm going to start calling you Marion from now on, Marion.

Let's see what you call me when I make you run 37 laps at practice.

No need for that, Phil.

Or, uh, Coach Russell.

You sure you don't want to back out now?

Troy, you've never beaten me before.

I mean, thank you for your service.

They take down my plaque, my son beats me at ping pong for the first time ever,

and now I'm getting trash -talked by this brisket burglar.

Welcome home, Ray.

I'll have to pick up your little brother and take him to his piano lesson.

See you at home, Troy.

Okay.

Man, I've seen my dad lose before, but he's never reacted like that.

I'm kind of worried. I don't think he liked losing to me. Nah, he seemed fine

me. All he did was complain about it and leave right after.

Oh, I see it now.

Man,

I can't let him be in a bad mood for the rest of the time he's home.

You know what?

I should get his backpack on the wall.

That'll make him feel better. That's a great idea.

You know what else will make him feel good? Another brisket. I'll call your

Bruh, you have my mom in your phone?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Mrs. Dickton.

Oh, this is the cutest dog in the universe.

Yeah.

What did you do to my dog?

What? It's a really cute outfit.

His name is Tuffy. He doesn't wear outfits.

He doesn't wear any clothes. That's how you know he's tough.

Because he walks around naked.

Newt, relax.

We just dressed him up. He was fine with it.

I'm sorry.

Trying to hide Tuffy in here without Principal Davis finding out is really

stressful.

Everything's going to be fine. No one's going to find the dog in here.

I guess you're right.

Where is he?

Tuffy? Here, boy.

Naked, with only his top net to protect him.

My baby!

Hey,

Principal David, can I talk to you about something?

Don't worry about the whoopee cushion chair, Troy.

I sat in it, and quite frankly, it was hilarious.

Oh, thanks, but actually it's about my dad's touchdown record. The plaque seems

to be missing.

I wanted this to be a big surprise with your dad in town and all.

Last week... You tied your dad's record for the most touchdowns in school

history. He did?

Yeah, one more touchdown and you'll break it. Which I expect will happen

tonight, right?

Right. The plaque is being engraved so I can present it to you after the game. I

figured nothing would make your dad's trip home better than watching his own

replace him in the record books.

Yeah. Getting beaten by his own son.

Again. You're going to love that.

He sure is. I can't wait.

You're going to break your dad's record?

That's great, Troy.

No, it's horrible.

You saw how he was after losing a game of ping pong.

How do you think he's going to feel when I erase his name from the record book?

Forever.

I know how to handle this.

Oh.

Sawyer, if that's my mom, I'm going to feed you that phone, okay?

I'll call you back, Mr. Dickhand.

Oh.

He's gonna kill my dad if I break his record tonight.

Yeah, he's definitely gonna be upset.

Unless... I don't break his record.

I don't have to score for us to win.

Bella can just throw to you. But if you're in the field, she's gonna throw

you. True.

I mean, just so good, I can't help getting open.

But what if I'm not on the field?

I can just pretend to be sick, and you can pick up the slack.

Catch all the passes, get all the glory. Oh, impress the lady? Okay, slow your

roll. I still got all the ladies.

I don't know, Troy.

This game is for the playoffs.

But, Gloria, this is bigger than the playoffs.

This is for my dad.

I cannot let him see me beat that record.

Hey, what's up, fellas?

You all ready for the big game tonight?

Uh, actually, I'm not feeling so good, Coach.

What? Right, Sawyer?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I never saw so much puke. He went old faithful all over me.

Well,

Dixon, I hope you feel better before tonight. I mean, we got a lot riding on

this game.

I would hate to have to play without you. Yeah, yeah, I hope I get better,

Yeah, me too.

I don't think you will, Troy.

Coach, it was like Niagara Falls.

If the water was made out of his breakfast.

I checked the

auditorium and the entire second floor.

No sign of Tuffy. I checked the first floor, the computer lab, and the gym.

Nothing.

Pepper, any luck?

I checked the cafeteria.

That's it?

You stopped and ate, didn't you?

Searching for a dog burns a lot of calories.

I needed an energy boost.

You could have at least brought us some.

I did.

Oh.

I'm weak.

No Tuffy?

All right, game starts in an hour. Time to bring out the big guns.

What is that smell?

Fish -flavored doggy teeth. They're Tuffy's favorite. He can't resist them.

All right, everyone take a handful. I'm sure Tuffy will catch you with and come

running to one of us.

Hey, kids, I heard there's a dog roaming the hallway.

Newt, are those doggy treats?

Uh, no, they're just, um, protein energy snacks.

I'm bulking up.

Newt, I will have to suspend you if you have a dog. No, really, they're his

protein snack.

Yeah, Newt, eat one.

Proteiny.

You know, I'm into supplements.

I work out about three times a week, but you probably noticed.

Totally. You're a rip.

What if I try some of these?

Take them all.

That tasted like fish butts, and I don't even know if fish have butts.

Once again, did you get suspended?

No. You're welcome.

Fish butts!

Hey,

McFumble

here. It's the fourth quarter, and the Bulldogs are winning, even with their

star receiver, Troy Dixon, sick on the sidelines.

Feel better soon, Troy. But until then...

Better safe than sorry.

You feeling

better, Dixon?

Oh, stomach cramp.

Don't want to puke up another Niagara Falls.

It's Tuffy, our new school mascot.

Yeah, he's supposed to be on the field.

He is?

He is.

Yeah? Thanks for finding him, Newt. He runs off sometimes.

Well, I really wish the cheer squad would have run this whole mascot idea by

first, but she is a very cute dog.

She's a he, and he's not cute, he's tough. He eats smelly food, and he's

naked.

I mean, I assume I don't know him or her very well.

on, you guys. Hustle up.

Nobody's getting open.

We got to figure out something, all right?

I'm going to drive for play.

Troy, you need to stop faking. If we don't win this thing, we're not getting

into the playoffs.

Wait, you're faking?

Sawyer. This whole time you could play?

Are you crazy?

Bella, I can't do it.

My dad holds the all -time touchdown record, and if I score in this game,

break it. If you score in this game, we'll win.

It'll crush him.

Troy, the playoffs have been our goal ever since we started this season.

Okay, huddle up.

Here's to play.

We need you.

Troy!

Coach, I feel okay.

Put me in.

Are you sure?

I saw an Niagara Falls once on my honeymoon, and that didn't end well.

I'm sure.

Well, then get in there!

Okay,

new play.

X -Post Z -Motion Gun Hawaii on three on three. Retro on Detroit.

Ready? Ready!

has broken the all -time touchdown record, surpassing its own father, Ray

Troy, you did it! You got us to the playoff!

Yeah.

I did.

Troy, Dad, look, I know what you're going to say, but I had to choose the

I'm sorry. I didn't want to break your record.

I know how important it is to you.

What are you talking about?

When they announced I broke it, you had your head in your hands.

Troy, I was crying.

I knew it.

I'm the worst son ever.

No.

Fears of joy.

Troy, I got to see my son break my record.

It was the proudest moment of my life.

Don't tell your brother.

But... You were upset when I beat you in ping pong.

I wasn't upset you beat me.

Troy, last time I was deployed, you could barely hang with me.

Now you're kicking my butt.

I'm upset that I'm missing out on my son growing up.

Well, Dad, I'll kick your butt at ping pong any time you want me to.

Now that's my boy.

It's so beautiful.

Seriously? Again?

And that is game.

Uh -huh, uh -huh. Yeah, all right. Lucky shots, huh? What was that? I couldn't

hear you because you're so far behind.

Troy, don't get cocky. It's only game seven of 19.

Can you guys finish this later? Your mom says the brisket's getting cold.

Sorry, Sawyer.

We finished this today.

All right. Well, see you back at your house. Yeah, see you there.

Game eight.

Prepare to get torched.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Did we just send Sawyer back to our house with a head start and an empty

stomach?

Sawyer, stay away from my dinner.

your phone, man!