Original subtitles

Amazing news.

My mom is having a boy. A boy? That's awesome. Baby boys are adorable.

At first, but then they grow up and the house smells like armpit and cooked

feet.

I'll worry about that when it happens. But guess what? My mom is letting me

decorate the nursery. I convinced her I'm responsible, deadline -oriented, and

decisive.

I may have oversold myself.

I can't even decide what color to paint the walls.

Which one would you choose?

Um, the blue?

Which blue? French blue, summer sky, morning mist, or tide pool?

Bella?

Uh, the blue?

How am I ever going to decide?

I don't know what you're doing, but stay away from tide pool.

You could drown in that shade.

How do you know all about paint colors?

My stepmom, Brenda, asked me to help her redecorate her bedroom when she moved

in with us.

And by help, I mean she showed me pictures in magazines and said, oh, do

Hey, do you want to help me decorate my baby brother's nursery?

I could really use someone with skills and a male point of view.

You kidding? Count me in.

Thanks, Newt.

How about you two?

I know if I say no, you'll never leave me alone.

So yay, can't wait.

Wish I could. I have to do my community service hours.

Oh, we did ours last quarter.

Me too, but be warned, highway beautification isn't the fancy term for

up roadkill.

Also, possums aren't always dead.

They just appear to be.

Good luck.

Hey, guys.

There's not too many choices left.

Yeah, we can either volunteer at the retirement home or join the highway

beautification program.

Oh, beautification.

I like the sound of that.

Apparently, it's just a fancy term for cleaning up roadkill.

Retirement home it is.

Yeah. That's what I was thinking.

Hey, I bet it will be fun.

You can learn a lot from older generations.

Yeah, just because someone's in their 40s doesn't mean they're worthless.

That's true.

After all, my grandpa taught me how to wash a car, mow the lawn, make his

favorite sandwich, clip his toenails.

Wait a minute.

Papa played me!

Respect.

Pretty tough. They're not a little bitter. Three yards and a cloud of dust.

And you get, you get. A game changer. Playmaker. Take the ball. She'll see you

later. I'm on a dream like, team like, living like one of the boys. She got it

going, going.

She got it going on.

I'm gonna play like Friday night, kicking like one of the boys. She got it

going, going.

She got it going on.

This is the community room. This place is so nice.

Man, I want to live here when I'm old. Shoot, I want to live here now.

Did you see? They have Taco Tuesdays every day of the week. The rules don't

apply here. I love this place.

Well, we do try to keep things fun around here. These are active, happy

and matching them with senior pals such as yourselves really keeps their spirits

high.

That's Ken. He's a former astronaut.

Many of our residents have led rich, fascinating lives.

Steve over there was a pilot, and we also have two. former congressman. And

Doris, she played baseball for an all -women's league, so I know. Wait, Doris

McKenna? You've heard of her?

Yes.

Doris Cookie McKenna of the Lone Star Lassies?

She's in a book I read called Stay Strong, Girl. It's a collection of

stories about women who beat the odds.

Does that come in an audiobook so I cannot listen to it?

Doris McKenna is one of my heroes.

Do you think you could assign me to be your senior pal?

I'm sorry. Doris didn't sign up for the program.

That's too bad. Don't worry, honey. I think I got someone you're going to

Here she is now.

Esther! Can't talk now. I'm training for a 5K.

Don't worry, Bella.

You'll get your credit for today. As for you guys, we're slightly overbooked, so

I'm going to assign you to the same senior pal.

It's Ken the astronaut, isn't it?

No. Ernie, the mailman. And I think he needs a little help learning how to use

his new computer tablet.

Oh, no.

All right, girls, I'll leave it to you. Have fun. But be extra careful of the

new carpeting. It's eco -friendly, which is another way of saying it's

expensive. It's very expensive.

Don't worry.

We'll take care of it. Besides, we're not painting today.

Just prepping. Oh, Pepper, I'm so proud of you. Oh, now, if you'll excuse me, I

have a craving for peanut butter.

On a burrito.

Anyone want one?

No? Okay.

Pregnant women are a mystery.

This is so fun.

I can't believe you roped poor Nuda into this, too.

You said you wanted to help.

I know. I just don't think of Nuda as a roll up your sleeves and get dirty kind

of guy.

Somebody call my name.

Look at you.

Where'd you get that tool belt?

Brenda. She's had a lot of work done.

Wait, that didn't come out right.

Actually, it kind of did.

Anyway, I've become pretty good with room redos. First up, let's get rid of

crummy carpet.

No! That is not an option. It's super expensive because it's made from

sheets. Or something organic like that.

Okay, fine. I can work with the carpet. But this room needs a theme.

I'm thinking... Bears.

Well, actually, I was thinking of a train theme.

I did a lot of research, and baby boys love choo -choo trains in their room.

Well, I was a baby boy, and I had bears in my room.

Trains are loud and smoky, but bears are soft and soothing.

Until they rip someone's arm off a gnaw on it by a creek.

Oh, like trains don't eat people every day?

You know what? Never mind.

Look, this room is screaming for bears. No, it's screaming for trains. Bears.

Trains. Bears. Trains. Bears. Trains. Wait, I have an idea.

How about little ducks?

You know. Is she kidding?

Hi, Esther.

It's Wednesday at 4 .30. Time for scrapbooking. Oh, sorry, kiddo. I'm

volunteering at the teen center today.

Didn't you get my reminder on pencil in? Oh, no. I don't have that app.

Oh. Well, let's see.

Now you do.

I'm available Tuesdays between Pilates and Krav Maga.

If you want to keep her in the room, you've got to nail her feet to the

I'd like to nail her mouth shut, too, but that's just me.

You're Dorothy McKenna, right?

That depends.

You're not my ex -husband's lawyer, are you?

No, you're too young.

Actually, I'm a fan.

Hi, I'm Bella, and I'm a female athlete, too. You've really inspired me. I know

everything about you. In fact, I even... edited your Wikipedia page.

Really? Can you change my birth date? I want to be 50 again.

On it.

Hey, is it really true that you had a triple up for the Yankees, Whitey Ford

an exhibition game?

No, it's not true.

It was a home run.

That was in 1952.

Do you know I was the highest paid player on the ladies league?

And I still only got paid $8 that season.

Tough being a girl ball player.

I know something about that.

I play quarterback on the boys' football team.

Well, then you must be tough, too. Not tough enough to hit a widey -forward

fastball, but I can hold my own. I don't doubt it.

One time I got hit in practice, my shoulder popped out, and I only missed

game. I know all about that. I've got so many pins in my hips. I mean, I just

feel like a voodoo doll.

Hey, can I ask you something else? Yeah.

Did you really tell out that umpire the way they say you did?

It was word.

Really?

Are you over 17 because the language is R -rated?

Oh, heck, I'll tell you anyway.

And you swipe to go to the next window.

And that brings you to ClickPick, which is a great way to connect to your

grandkids. Grandkids?

Nah, I want to connect with some ladies.

You feel me, boys?

Ernie, now you're talking my language.

Well, in that case, what we got to do is sign you up for a dating site. That's

right. First thing you're going to need is a debonair profile picture. You know,

to let the ladies know what you're working with.

Okay, now come on. Give me what you got.

Okay, okay.

Ooh.

Come on, Ernie. To lure the ladies, you need to project an air of mystery.

Ad for dentures?

Yeah, yeah. Look up into the distance.

Try to remember where you parked your European sports car.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Okay, that's not it.

That's not it. That's not it. No.

Let's try again. This time, you know where your car is parked. No. You know.

Okay, let's see.

I'll roll in your pinky edges.

Perfect.

Hey!

I heard this room was calling for bears.

What the... Whoa.

Am I right or am I right?

You're right, Newt.

Oh, like a baby boy wouldn't be scared of a seven -foot -tall bear.

Seven feet of sweetness.

Come on, look at him.

Newt, please put that thing downstairs and grab a brush.

Fine, but he belongs in this room.

He knows he belongs in here.

Come on.

Wait, before we start painting, we need to take a before picture.

Good idea.

Where did I put my phone?

Hold on.

and try to scrape it off tomorrow.

How's it going in there?

Don't come in.

You cannot see this room until we're finished.

I am so finished.

Oh, 40 hits since your photo went up. I'd say that's some kind of record.

Look at this hottie.

Says she's 76, but she doesn't look a day over 75.

Point and swipe.

Yes, very good. Check her out.

Not that cute, but she can still drive.

Ernie, you might want to pace yourself. You know, like one woman at a time.

Nah, I say go for it, pops.

My girlfriend and I broke up. A whole new world has opened up for me. So

dating a lot of gals?

No, but I could if I wanted to. I mean, I have options.

Lots of options.

It'll be okay. Thanks.

You just missed Esther.

She left for a drum circle ten minutes ago. I actually came by to see Doris. We

really hit it off the other day. So glad to hear that. She doesn't get many

visitors. She could use someone to talk to.

I'll talk to that Doris any day of the week. Down there.

Hey, who are those cookies for?

Doris. Really?

Did you make sure to taste them first? Because I remember that one time you

that. It was one bad batch. Just one. Let it go.

Hi, Bella.

Esther's out. doing her drum circle or vision quest or something like that,

woman has way too many hobbies.

I know. I came by to see you.

Oh? And I brought you these cookies. You know, because your nickname was Cookie.

I put that on Wikipedia, too. Oh, and you are now 53 years old. Oh, thank you

for looking out for me.

And I was thinking, since we get along so well, maybe I could be your senior

pal?

So that's what this is all about.

Yeah, I can sign you right up. I have the paperwork right here. No, thank you.

don't need a friend to sign to me.

Okay, but I thought since we had so much... Bella, listen to me. I don't

you for a senior pal.

But I thought since... Leave me alone, Bella.

What was that about?

I don't know, but did she say anything about me?

Not a good time. I'll come back.

she said she didn't want to be my senior pal. And then she told me to leave her

alone.

You should probably stop making cookies for people.

It was one bad batch.

I don't get it. We got along so well the day before.

Sometimes old people get low blood sugar and act cranky.

Abuela once punched a waiter for taking too long with her tuna melt. True story.

Maybe she's irritated because paint spilled all over her mom's priceless

and now she'll be grounded forever and or killed.

Pepper, pepper.

Stay with us.

We had a connection.

It was like she understood me better than anyone I've ever met.

And the crazy part is, I think she really liked being with me, too.

Maybe you can change your mind.

You'll think of something.

You're right, Sophie.

I'm going to go for it.

Oh, and about the carpet, try Nitro Clean.

That's a great idea. She couldn't have led with that?

Come on, Nitro Clean. Do your thing.

it's working.

Um, it might be working a little too well. Oh, no.

It's eating the carpet.

Newt, this is all your fault. It never would have happened if you hadn't

over that ladder. Me? All I did was open the door.

Pepper's the one who put the paint on the ladder. But Sophie's the one who put

the ladder in front of the door. But Bella's the one who told us to use Nitro

Clean. Then we agree. It's Bella's fault.

Placing blame on others is a great way to feel better about your own

inadequacies. Yeah, true.

Way to go, Ernie. You've gotten a lot of replies to your dating profile.

Oh, looks like your favorites column's almost full.

Can we get rid of one of these Connie's? Okay, but keep Connie B.

She says she's got a hot tub.

Oh, look, here's one from Marlene.

She says, Dear Ernie, I can tell by your profile picture that you're a very busy

man.

I'm busy, too.

Thinking of us on the beach while I slather suntan lotion on your manly

shoulders and... Oh!

Now I need to take a shower.

Oh, look at this one.

I like long walks in the park, fresh rhubarb pie, and watching the fireflies

dusk.

Sounds like a nice grandma.

Wait, that's my grandma.

Do your worst.

I got the cloud.

Will you teach me the cloud?

Why don't you tell me what's going on? I thought we were going to the movies. I

want to see Channing Tatum with his shirt off.

The movie's not for another hour. I thought we'd stop off and visit with

first. Hey, Doris!

Oh, no.

I know this isn't a baseball field, but it's the best I could do.

Want to play some ball?

You tricked me.

Did I?

I guess I did.

Anyway, I'll let you two get to it.

Don't you have any friends your own age?

What are you trying to do? Get a story for your college essay, How I Helped an

Old Woman by Just Being Me.

Oh, come on. You're just afraid of my fastball.

You call that a fastball?

I've seen turtles move faster than that, and they were dead.

I would have aimed lower.

I can't figure you out.

This was a waste of time. I thought you were my hero, but it turns out you're

nothing but a mean old witch.

Yep.

Okay, Pepper.

We can do this.

Yep. You're right.

We just have to stay calm and cool.

Pepper! Can I come in now?

Get up! Get up! Get up!

Uh,

she means it'll be done in a few minutes.

She just... wants it to be perfect.

Okay, please hurry.

I got it.

Maybe if I climb out of the window and run away from home, my mother will be so

upset she won't even notice the hole.

Oh,

yeah. That'll work.

Hey, girls.

Look who's back.

Did you miss me?

Enough with the bear, Newt. Just watch.

It covers it perfectly.

One more thing.

and trains.

Who knew?

I can't take it anymore. I'm coming in.

Oh.

Oh, my gosh.

What is that?

That bear is a train conductor.

It's adorable.

Thank you.

You did such a great job, Pepper.

Oh, just make sure you figure out a way to patch the hole before your father

sees it because he is not going to take it as well as I did.

We've replied to your top five women. Anyone else needs a response? I'm okay

now. Can't wait to meet these gals. Hey, fellas.

Be there in a minute.

Oh, she seems to like you. Yeah, I hope so. She's my girlfriend.

What? No way.

Wait, you've been making us set you up on all these dates and you already have

girlfriend? What am I supposed to do? She goes to bed at five. I gotta do

something with my night. Oh.

You scoundrel.

Boys, life is short.

Can you believe that guy?

Yeah, man.

He's such a player.

Respect.

You know, I'm going to ask him a couple of questions. I'll be back.

I want to.

Here you

go. Didn't want to throw this one at me, too.

I'm sorry, Bella. Whatever.

I already have enough material for my essay, How a Mean Old Lady Hates Me.

Or a better title than that.

I don't hate you.

I like all you kids who volunteer.

But once you get your community service credit, you disappear.

When I met you, I saw myself, and I knew it would be extra hard when you

disappeared. That's what's been going on?

Doris, I already got my service credit.

Esther signed my form two days ago after her kabuki show.

You mean you're here because you want to be?

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

I misjudged you.

Happens all the time.

So, how much time do you have before your movie?

20 minutes, but to fix your fastball, we're going to need a week, maybe

Okay, you got it.

Is it really that bad?

We'll work on it.

Do you need a ride? My mom's here. Oh, thanks, but my grandma's picking me up.

She's just a little late.

Sorry, Sawyer. I had to stop and pick up my new friend.

How's it going, boys?

Sawyer, meet Ernie.

We've already met. Grandma, he has a girlfriend. At least one, if not more.

So what?

I've got three boyfriends. Guess what the time's, kiddo.

We're going out for the early bird special.

Dude, your grandma's such a player.

If you say respect, we are no longer friends.

Do you want to ride with me?

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