Original subtitles

I can't believe it's only two days until the Hunter Hayes concert.

We bought these tickets a year ago. Remember how much babysitting we had to

to pay for them? I don't. I'm spoiled and my parents give me whatever I want.

Sorry, inside thought.

Guys, we're so lucky he's coming to Silverado. Hunter never performs at

venues. If Hunter sings 21, I am going to die. But... If he plays I Want Crazy,

I'm going to come back from the dead just so I can die all over again.

Pepper, what are you doing on your phone?

I'm trying to find a way to meet Hunter Hayes after the concert.

Ace is finally putting my interview show on the air, but I don't have any big

name guests.

I'm sure Hunter Hayes is a good guy, but he's a superstar.

I don't think he's going to have time for a middle school TV show.

What if you're right?

Then my show won't get enough views, and the news will cancel it, and I'll never

be the next Oprah or Ellen or any other single -named female powerhouse.

The only way I'll get on the talk show is by being that lady that brings on

exotic animals, and I... Pepper, breathe!

Actually, don't. We're seeing Hunter Hayes this Sunday.

We're cleaning the field this Sunday.

What? Wait, this Sunday?

Don't you think you should give us some notice?

I did.

Don't you all read the team newsletter?

We have a team newsletter?

Well, that explains why no one showed up to help me move my waterbed.

Yeah, that's why no one showed up.

This is a mandatory team activity. I expect to see you all here at 3 o

The coach! I don't want to hear it.

That waterbed burst in the stairwell.

It deserved better.

And you get, you get a game changer playmaker. Take the ball. She'll see you

later.

Hayes concert. This is the worst thing ever.

Can't you skip the cleanup? You already practiced five days a week, plus games

on Saturday.

So does everyone else. And who stays up all night before games to memorize her

motivational speeches?

Can't just go in cold.

And who wore a jockstrap just to show the guys she was one of them?

That was above and beyond.

And totally uncomfortable.

You know what?

You're right. I give my heart and soul to this team and never ask for anything.

Until now.

Can't make it on Sunday.

Yeah, hold on.

The Hunter Hayes concert is no excuse to miss the team cleanup.

Okay, now what is your excuse?

Well, it's definitely not Hunter Hayes.

It's... my Nana 60's birthday party.

I find that hard to believe.

Your Nana is turning 60?

She looks great for her age. Really great.

Well, you enjoy that party. By the way, is your nana still seeing that guy?

You mean Grandpa?

They've been married for 37 years.

Cool.

That's cool.

Good to know.

Hey, guys.

Thanks for showing up.

Did we have a choice? Nope.

And thanks for recognizing that.

You three, go pick up the trash on the field.

Troy, you got the bleachers. And don't forget that pile of whatever it is

underneath them.

What? The hairy mystery mask?

Nuh -uh. No way. That thing growled at me once, man.

Good. So you're familiar with it.

Sawyer, you're going to be scraping the pigeon poop off the roof of the snack

shack? Poop?

Oh, poop.

And Newt. Please don't be gross. Please don't be gross. Please don't be gross.

Since Bella won't be here, why don't you take over her task cleaning the port -a

-potties? No.

Not the doo -doo sheds.

Wait. Where's Bella? Oh, she's at her Nana's 60th birthday party. Have you

her grandma?

She looks great for her age.

I mean, great.

Ew.

You know, I don't remember Bella saying anything about her Nana's birthday

party. Yeah.

She probably just wants to get out of cleaning.

Guys, Bella's the most dedicated player on this team. She wouldn't leave us

without a legitimate excuse.

Oh, so you're fine with going in that port -a -potty? What?

You mean I have to clean the inside, too?

At least you guys will help, right? I'm thinking if we split it up and take

turns, we can... Guys?

Excuse me. Move aside, please.

Can you believe how close we are?

Yeah, you elbowed 50 people out of the way to get up here. I don't feel bad. I

wanted it more.

Bella, you made the right decision ditching the team for this. Yeah.

Did I?

I'm starting to feel a little guilty about lying to Coach and leaving the

to clean up the field. Bella, you rocked a jockstrap for this. Now relax and

enjoy it. Okay, I'll try.

Hey, help me go over my interview questions.

I stayed up all night thinking these up. Here's my first one.

Hunter, your fans are desperate to know, do you like nachos?

Uh, really?

That's your first question?

Yeah, that's my interview style. I toss them a softball, then I go in for the

kill. Ooh, what's your kill question?

Hunter, you've just gone through a very public breakup. How do you keep a smile

on your face when the cold fingers of despair are clutching at your heart?

Pepper, I know he's a rock star, but just talk to him like he's a normal

Play it cool.

Well, it's your birthday.

Let's act like it is.

And just go crazy.

Do what we want and no reason why.

Life ain't long enough.

So let's celebrate.

And lift up on good luck.

What it's like to just dance all night.

And we'll dance all night.

not go out

Hey, I have to get that interview.

Here's the plan. We'll show these VIP passes to the security guard, and boom,

we're backstage.

Whoa, where did you get these? I made them. I copied them from a picture

I matched the font, color, and size exactly.

These puppies could get us into the White House.

Follow my lead and act like you belong.

Here you go.

White House.

Huh, that's weird.

What? What's wrong? It's flawless.

Your badge isn't scanning. It's supposed to have a microchip in it that makes

the... Scanner beep.

Oh, um, yeah, that happened before. Here, try mine.

Beep!

Beep!

Sorry, girl. Not getting backstage.

Good work on these, though. You're a real artist.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Leave. Oh, okay.

Pepper, don't worry.

He wasn't back there anyway.

How do you know? Because he's right there.

Hey, Hunter, can I have a quick word with you?

I'm so sorry. I can't even talk. I think I cracked my tooth. But I just have a

quick word. You heard the man.

Now move along, counterfeiter.

Pepper, what about your dad?

Why would I want to interview my dad?

He's not a rock star. He's a dead... My dad's a dead...

dad's card. He's a really good dentist. Please give it to Hunter.

Yeah, I'll get right on it. And tell him I love him.

I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him, I love

him, I love him, I love him.

That's the way that we're doing it, doing it.

Go big, go back.

Hey, guys.

Huh, how's your nana's birthday party?

Sounds fun.

Yeah, just a normal party.

Uh -huh, uh -huh.

Was it anything like, uh, this?

Boom, just blew you up.

You ditched the team to go to a concert?

How did you get this?

Yesterday, when I was cleaning the stench of port -a -potty off of my soul,

stepmom, Brenda, texted me from the concert. She was there, too.

Of course.

Whoa, guys. I can explain.

Say, Bella, you lied to us. Yep. We're telling Coach.

Let's go.

What? Okay, please. You can't. And if you think Coach will be mad, wait till

Nana hears you skipped her birthday party.

Sawyer, just... No.

Spent seven hours in the hot sun cleaning bird poop while you were on

shaking your rump to the funk.

Come on, guys. You don't understand. It was Hunter Hayes. Oh, Hunter Hayes. It

was Hunter Hayes.

That changes nothing.

Do you know what Coach is going to do when he finds out you lied to him?

He's going to bench you.

Come on, guys. All I did was miss one silly cleanup.

You should have been there, Bella. It was a team event.

A filthy, vile team event, which I will be discussing with my therapist well

into my 40s.

Have fun on the bench.

Guys, I am so sorry I missed the cleanup, but please don't tell Coach.

I'll do anything.

Huh.

How about you do my biology homework for me? Done.

And clean out my Ferris case? On it. And I need three dozen cupcakes by

tomorrow. Make sure they're gluten -free, sugar -free, dairy -free, and

rich, creamy, and totally delicious.

I'm not sure that's even possible.

But don't worry. I'm going to totally make it up to you.

Uh -uh -uh. Not so fast.

We are just getting started.

You're going to want to write these down. Grab a pen, rump shaker.

Hey, Silverstein.

How's that interview coming?

Remember, you promised me a big name.

Don't worry.

I'm on it. Good.

I'd hate to have to cancel you after one episode.

But I will.

Pepper, it's time to face the facts.

You're not going to get Hunter Hayes. I know.

But where am I going to find a cool musician at this point?

Oh, here.

Hey, girls.

What? At least he's a musician.

Hey, Kenny, can I interview you for Bulldog Network?

Okay. Roll camera.

We're here with Kenny Ping, musician and first chair elbow. Kenny, do you like

nachos? Well, my mom doesn't let me eat cheese because it inflames my

embouchure.

Kenny. That was a disaster.

Ace is going to cancel me before I even air.

Wait, look at this.

Hunter just posted a click pic of the poster from your dad's dental office.

He must have seen the business card.

If we leave now, I can still get my interview.

Hey, guys.

Sawyer, here's your homework.

I even did the extra credit.

Thanks a lot. Now they'll know I didn't do it.

The cage is clean.

I wish you had told me your ferret had a taste for human flesh.

You actually did that?

Girl, that ferret crazy.

In here, Newt. I baked your cupcake.

It was hard without the dairy.

And the gluten.

And the sugar.

And it took me three tries, but I finally did it.

Ugh. Not quite there yet.

You look tired.

Why don't you sit down?

Thank you. And clean the mud out of my cleats.

Ooh, good idea.

Mine too.

But I already did everything on your list. So shouldn't that make us even for

skipping the cleanup?

Hmm. Oh, that's a good question.

I don't know. Let's ask Coach. See what he thinks. Oh, Coach.

Fine. I'll clean your stupid cleats.

Ooh, mine too.

Uh, no offense, Newt, but... How did your cleats get muddy from sitting on

bench? Oh, that's not mud. I just stomped all over those lousy cupcakes

made.

Sorry. Power's not a good color on me.

Okay.

That laughing gas should have you nice and relaxed.

Let me just test it out.

All right.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

Interrupting dentist.

Interrupting dentist.

Looks like the laughing gas is not working.

Let's just give it a little more time to set in.

Okay.

All we have to do is interview him without him knowing he's being

so keep it together this time. Don't worry.

It's all out of my system.

Hi, I'm your dental hygienist. My name is Coco, and she is...

a little young to be a dental hygienist? Oh, you. I get that a lot.

I'm 31.

Okay. Well, I guess we should start off by flossing you. I'll do it.

All right.

Here it comes.

Open wide.

OMG. I'm so sorry. What are you doing?

Perhaps you better skip the floss and get right into the questions.

Questions? Yes.

The associate will be recording your answers to ensure quality service.

Totally normal procedure.

How many times a day do you brush?

Twice. Okay, okay, great.

After you break up, how did you keep a smile on your face when the cold things

of despair were clutching at your heart?

What's going on here?

You're not really a dental hygienist, are you?

No, I'm not.

Neither is she.

get the dentist back in here?

Wait, full disclosure, my name is Pepper and I'm your biggest fan.

I really need to interview you or I'll lose my show on the school TV station.

I'm happy to help. Let's just get the two things fixed first.

You'll do the interview? Yeah.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love

you.

Fangirls, am I right?

That's it.

Uh -uh -uh. I can't see my reflection.

Look, I know it was wrong of me to go to the concert, but at this point, you're

just taking advantage of me.

Uh, yeah, that's the whole point of it.

And we are just getting started.

That's it?

I'm telling Coach the truth about why I missed the cleanup.

I don't care if I get benched. It's better than being your slave.

Don't worry.

She's bluffing.

But, dude, if she tells Coach what we've been doing...

We could be in more trouble than her.

Come on.

Bella, don't bother Coach with that thing. He's a busy man.

Quiet, guys.

Bella?

Coach, I lied to you about my Nana's 60th birthday party.

I knew she looked too good to be 60.

No. I mean, it wasn't her birthday.

I went to the Hunter Hayes concert instead.

I'm sorry. So sorry. I should have never put myself in front of the team.

I promise it'll never happen again.

I am very disappointed in you, Dawson.

I'm glad you came clean, even though it took you a while.

Well, glad that's all wrapped up. See you in practice, huh?

Hold it.

Hold it.

Do you guys have anything you want to tell me?

No, not at all.

Newt.

If you tell me the truth, I'll go easy on you.

Please, what's the worst you could do?

Bench me?

I'll send you back to the doo -doo sheds.

We found out Bella lied about the concert and we threatened to tell you

she did what we asked, so she did Sawyer's homework, got bit by Troy's

and made me perfectly good cupcakes, which I stomped on because I was...

for power?

Who said that?

Wow.

Bella lied to me, and you guys used it against her?

This is shameful.

I should bench all of you.

Coach, look, please don't bench us, okay? We'll do anything.

Anything?

Gross. A hairy chicken wing.

I recognize that from the tornado.

In a weird way, it reminds me of Pepper.

Thanks.

Uh, coach, this isn't a football trophy.

What's this for?

The Argentine tango.

You dance?

I've been known to.

Oh.

Coach!

Haven't we been punished enough?

It's McFumble here with the world premiere of our new segment, Silverado

Pepper Silverstein, take it away.

Hello, Bulldogs. I'm here with country superstar Hunter Hayes. Tell me, Hunter,

do you like nachos?

I don't really hate nachos.

Interesting.

And what was your inspiration for Young and in Love?

Well, it's about how when you fall in love with somebody and you're young and

you have these life experiences.

Just about missing, missing.

So, what do you think?

I think your dad used too much Novocaine.

He's totally numb.

Still, no one else has this interview.

Oh, this is my favorite part.

That's the way that we're doing it.

Go, baby, we go back home.

People look at us like, who the hell is that?

Baby, we ain't doing nothing wrong.

Better be up on.