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Ace Mix Bumbles here. In two days, it's
the parents and pigskins game.
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00:00:06,610 --> 00:00:09,920
Bulldog players and their parents will
team up for flag football.
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00:00:10,030 --> 00:00:13,190
You'll see screaming, whining, and bad
sportsmanship.
4
00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:14,990
And that's just the parents.
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00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,530
Here's a highlight from last year.
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He's at the 10, the 9, the 8.
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I love this game. It always makes me
feel better about my own life.
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All right, Bulldogs, after hours of
deliberation, I've carefully selected
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teams for the parents and the pickings
game.
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You just threw the maggots on the board,
didn't you?
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Didn't even open my eyes for it.
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Newt, we're on the same team.
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00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:50,749
Oh, looks like it's you and me, Troy.
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00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:54,009
Are you playing with your mom? Nah,
she's got work, and my dad's still
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00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:56,600
overseas. So I think I'm going to ask my
Uncle Milton.
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00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:58,250
Oh, is he any good at football?
17
00:00:58,251 --> 00:01:02,059
Well, he spends all day doing computer
security for the government, so I doubt
18
00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:04,319
it. Oh, he works with computers.
19
00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:07,639
Interesting. Sawyer, can I talk to you
for a second?
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00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:08,690
Yeah.
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00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,370
Did you hear that?
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00:01:11,580 --> 00:01:12,840
Troy's uncle is a nerd.
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So are you guys starting a club?
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No. This is my chance to finally beat
Troy at something. He beats me at
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00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:22,670
everything.
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00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:26,599
But this time, I'm going to win. My
dad's really good. He played four years
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00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,839
college. And your dad was all state in
football, right?
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00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,560
Yeah, all six years of high school.
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00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,610
Yes, this is the moment I've been
waiting for.
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Hey, Dixon, we're going to crush you so
bad, they'll have to use dental records
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to identify your body.
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00:01:41,331 --> 00:01:43,199
Whoa there.
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A little aggressive, don't you think,
dude?
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Well, maybe you don't like Winner Newt,
but you better get used to it. Sawyer,
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00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,740
you, me, game plan, let's bounce.
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00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,320
I like Winter Newt, but I'm also afraid
of him.
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00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:58,200
Sawyer, get out here!
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00:01:58,400 --> 00:01:59,450
Coming!
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00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:02,930
So, uh, what about you, Bella? Can I ask
your mom?
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00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,160
Football isn't really her thing.
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00:02:05,340 --> 00:02:08,890
She thinks a quarterback is the change
you get back from a soda machine.
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00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:11,460
I'll probably ask my uncle, too.
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00:02:11,461 --> 00:02:13,939
Well, I'm really looking forward to this
game.
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00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:18,099
And since I don't have to play, it's
going to be me, a food vendor, and a hot
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00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,240
bag of mini donuts.
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00:02:20,579 --> 00:02:22,140
Maybe two hot bags.
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00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:26,460
We have got to get that man a
girlfriend.
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00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,860
Or at the very least, some vegetables.
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00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:55,220
Dream life, team life, living life, one
of the boys. She got it going, going,
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00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,940
she got it going on.
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00:02:57,180 --> 00:03:01,500
Gonna play like Friday night, kick it
like one of the boys. She got it going,
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going, she got it going on.
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00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:06,510
Mom,
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00:03:08,511 --> 00:03:15,579
where's your address book? I need Uncle
Dad's phone number. Address book?
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00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:16,900
I'm a modern mom.
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00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,500
It's all in my smartphone.
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00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:20,300
Where is my smartphone?
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00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,140
I'll get the address book.
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00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,680
Why do you need to talk to Uncle Dale?
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I'm going to ask him to play in the
parent -kid flag football game.
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00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,040
Hey, I'm your parent.
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Why don't you play with me instead?
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00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:33,220
Oh, I didn't think you'd be interested.
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00:03:33,221 --> 00:03:37,499
Since you joined the team, I've been
getting more into it. I even read the
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Moron's Guide to Football.
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00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:42,460
The name is insulting, but it is very
educational.
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Come on, quiz me.
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Okay.
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How many points is a touchdown?
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Six. And then you can have one of those
kicky guys kick it for a point or one of
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00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,210
those little speedy guys run it in for
two.
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00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,180
Okay, you did say kicky guy, but I'll
allow it.
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So, can I play?
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00:03:58,980 --> 00:04:00,360
Yeah, let's do this thing.
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00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:01,820
I just have one thought.
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00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:06,859
What if we played with the other team
instead of against them? That way we'd
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00:04:06,860 --> 00:04:07,910
win.
78
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:09,610
Oh, no.
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00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:12,890
Okay, well, what if every down was first
down?
80
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,950
No. What if you got more points for Team
Spirit?
81
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,200
Yeah, I'll talk to Coach about that.
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00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:28,840
So, I was thinking, for the cheer booth
at the game, we could sell drumroll.
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00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:32,580
Your mom's tamales!
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00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:37,380
First, what kind of drums are those?
85
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,260
And second, my mom would never reveal
her recipe.
86
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,680
A, they were clearly bongos.
87
00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:48,220
And B, maybe she will.
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00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:51,000
That recipe's a closely guarded secret.
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00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:55,400
Like her age, her real hair color, and
what really happened to her hamster.
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00:04:56,460 --> 00:04:58,570
Hamsters don't just pack up and move
away.
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00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:01,470
Hola.
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00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:05,940
Just ask her nicely. Try opening with a
compliment. E, turn to it.
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00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,380
Mom, your hair looks great.
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00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,010
What'd you put in it?
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00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:13,190
What do you want?
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00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:18,619
Actually... Pepper and I love your
tamales, and we're hoping you'll share
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00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:20,200
secret tamale recipe with us.
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00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,280
I'm glad you like my tamales.
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00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,000
So you'll give us the recipe?
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00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,450
No.
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00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:30,039
Please? We want to make them for a cheer
fundraiser, and we swear not to tell
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anyone. By the way, did I mention how
much I love your shit?
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00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:34,730
Oh, yeah.
104
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:36,770
No.
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00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:43,100
I won't give you my recipe, but I will
make them for you.
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00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:45,740
And it's easier to do with you out of my
way.
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Really? Thanks, Mom.
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00:05:47,810 --> 00:05:49,130
Thank you so much.
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00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:50,480
You're welcome.
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Are you sure you don't need any help?
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00:05:53,610 --> 00:05:56,090
Um, yes, and the answer is no.
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I see.
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00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:07,989
Mr. Huggins, this is my dad, Vance. He
played quarterback at Yale. Started all
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four years.
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00:06:09,130 --> 00:06:10,510
Pleasure to meet you, Vance.
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Name's Cleveland.
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00:06:12,220 --> 00:06:14,680
Of course, our old teammates call me
Stucky.
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Why's that?
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Because every pass they threw would
stick to my hand.
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00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:22,670
Wouldn't it make more sense to call you
Sticky?
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00:06:22,671 --> 00:06:26,399
Yeah, but the team already had another
Sticky, and you do not want to be Sticky
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number two.
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00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,340
Sticky, Stucky, who cares?
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00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:33,319
Can we just stop with the stories? We
need to practice. Easy, Newt. It's just
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00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,319
game.
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00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,340
Sorry. I just really want to beat Troy.
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00:06:36,341 --> 00:06:40,549
I'm also feeling a lot of pressure.
Brent accidentally shrunk my undies.
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there, son.
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00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,160
Hey, don't worry.
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00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,530
Troy and his nerd uncle are no match for
us.
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00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:47,590
That's right. Check this out.
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00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:50,950
Think he can handle a pass from my
golden slingshot?
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00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:55,470
Does a heifer tell points half on a full
moon?
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00:06:58,950 --> 00:07:00,000
That means yes.
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00:07:00,190 --> 00:07:01,240
Yes, he can.
136
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,750
Oh, man, our team's looking pretty good.
Yeah.
137
00:07:05,751 --> 00:07:07,669
Oh, hey, Troy.
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00:07:07,670 --> 00:07:08,669
Where's your uncle?
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00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:09,469
Running late.
140
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:13,320
But it's okay. He doesn't need too much
practice. Besides, game's just for fun.
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00:07:14,411 --> 00:07:16,669
Troy's up to something.
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00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:19,310
I mean, when has he ever said a game was
just for fun?
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00:07:19,530 --> 00:07:20,650
He always has to win.
144
00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:24,889
Yeah. When we were kids, he refused to
play Simon Says unless we called it Troy
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00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:25,940
Says.
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00:07:25,970 --> 00:07:27,470
And he never let me be Troy.
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00:07:27,471 --> 00:07:32,289
Okay, this is slightly different than
normal football.
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00:07:32,290 --> 00:07:34,880
Instead of tackling, you rip off one of
these flags.
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00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,520
Other team flags, Mom.
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00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,360
You just tackled yourself.
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00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:45,139
You'd think in the moron's guide to
football, they'd have a section on flag
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00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:46,190
football.
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00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,170
Morons.
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00:07:48,171 --> 00:07:51,839
Okay, let's work on your catching. Do
you remember how to run a button hook?
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00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:52,890
course I do.
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00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:54,360
It is such a cute name.
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00:08:44,140 --> 00:08:45,640
man or a stack of cannonballs?
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00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,980
I think it's a robot sent from the
future.
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00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,980
Uncle Milton, you made it. Here, let me
help you with those.
160
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:01,550
There's good.
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00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,840
Water's over here if you need it.
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00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:06,450
Thanks, coach.
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00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,420
So, you ready to start practice?
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00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,620
Hey, buddy, I'm sorry. That was work.
165
00:09:10,940 --> 00:09:11,990
I gotta go.
166
00:09:11,991 --> 00:09:15,239
I'll see you at the game tomorrow. I get
it. Probably got to stop an evil hacker
167
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,639
from infiltrating the government's
firewall, right?
168
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,879
Troy, you make it sound like I work for
the CIA.
169
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,800
I just fix computers for the DMV.
170
00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:24,220
Gotcha. The DMV.
171
00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:26,780
Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, James Bond.
172
00:09:29,980 --> 00:09:31,840
How are we ever going to beat that guy?
173
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,850
My dad's got it covered. He used to be a
steer wrestler.
174
00:09:34,851 --> 00:09:38,519
Yeah, but that guy makes a steer look
like a chihuahua. You got this covered
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00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,230
right going, Slanky? Seems more like a
job for Stucky.
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00:09:41,231 --> 00:09:45,559
The only thing worse than knowing I'm
going to lose to Troy again is knowing
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00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,210
going to have to cut my undies off to
use the bathroom.
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00:09:50,171 --> 00:09:56,299
I'm glad Miss Fitz let us throw the
tamales in the school fridge.
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00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,519
They wouldn't be safe at my house with
all my brothers.
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00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,570
They wouldn't be safe at my house
either.
181
00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:01,710
I eat a lot.
182
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,020
Um, the card isn't working.
183
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:08,320
Let me try.
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00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,470
of coaching my mom and somehow she got
worse.
185
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,900
I feel awful saying this, but she was
kind of... Horrible?
186
00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:32,220
Embarrassing? Even worse than new?
187
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:33,880
My bad. Did I get too real?
188
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,010
No.
189
00:10:36,140 --> 00:10:37,700
Unfortunately, that covers it.
190
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:38,960
Well, stop worrying.
191
00:10:38,961 --> 00:10:40,299
It's just flag football.
192
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:41,819
I mean, it's not even a real game.
193
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:45,199
You're right. I shouldn't be
embarrassed. People probably won't make
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00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:45,939
about it.
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00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:46,990
Thanks, Troy.
196
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:52,020
Hey, you're the kid with the mom who
tackled herself.
197
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,180
Yeah. Who taught her how to play?
198
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,470
A moron?
199
00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:59,099
No, it was a book. This is more
embarrassing than the time I
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00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,360
my science teacher mommy.
201
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,910
You might want to think about moving to
Alaska.
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00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:08,030
Tell me.
203
00:11:08,780 --> 00:11:09,830
Tell me.
204
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,260
Tell me.
205
00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:12,830
Bella.
206
00:11:12,831 --> 00:11:16,239
Are you okay? You zoned out for a
minute. I can't let her play.
207
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,260
I have to stop her. Who? My moron. I
mean, my mom.
208
00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:20,630
I gotta go.
209
00:11:22,830 --> 00:11:24,940
I gotta remember to stop getting too
real.
210
00:11:26,661 --> 00:11:32,789
Hey, Sophie, thanks for bringing these
crutches. No problem.
211
00:11:32,790 --> 00:11:35,740
My brothers can find something else to
hit each other with.
212
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,180
Why do you need them?
213
00:11:37,181 --> 00:11:40,929
My mom is so embarrassing. The only way
to keep her off the field and not hurt
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00:11:40,930 --> 00:11:42,850
her feelings is to pretend I'm injured.
215
00:11:43,090 --> 00:11:47,510
Okay. So, what's your story? I twisted
my ankle in the locker room.
216
00:11:47,511 --> 00:11:49,029
Which ankle?
217
00:11:49,030 --> 00:11:50,080
My right.
218
00:11:50,270 --> 00:11:51,320
That's your left.
219
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:53,650
And that's why you're a terrible liar.
220
00:11:53,651 --> 00:11:57,489
If you want her to believe it, you have
to give her specific details.
221
00:11:57,490 --> 00:12:01,690
Like, how exactly did it happen? Who
else was there? Paint her a picture.
222
00:12:04,730 --> 00:12:06,030
Hey, Mom, you're home.
223
00:12:06,031 --> 00:12:08,109
Honey, what happened? Are you all right?
224
00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:11,090
I'm fine. I just twisted my right ankle
in the locker room.
225
00:12:11,650 --> 00:12:16,669
It was 3 .32 p .m., and I was walking
along, and I slipped on Coach's hot bag
226
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:17,720
mini donuts.
227
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:23,089
There was a bear claw and a honey bun.
Ooh, and a chocolate glaze. Anyway, she
228
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:26,529
went to see the school nurse and she
said she should lay off of it for a
229
00:12:26,530 --> 00:12:29,540
days. Which means I won't be able to
play in the game tomorrow.
230
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:33,300
Oh, honey, I know how much you were
looking forward to that. Yeah, I know.
231
00:12:33,301 --> 00:12:36,549
I'm sorry. I guess that means you won't
be able to play either, Mom.
232
00:12:36,550 --> 00:12:39,509
Well, we could have had fun together,
but the most important thing is that you
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00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:40,770
rest it for real football.
234
00:12:41,450 --> 00:12:43,070
Thanks, Mom. Glad you understand.
235
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,850
Tell me if you need anything, honey.
236
00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:47,960
Great job!
237
00:12:48,390 --> 00:12:49,830
No, that's how you lie.
238
00:12:56,670 --> 00:12:58,110
In your face.
239
00:12:59,050 --> 00:13:00,190
No, no, no, no, no.
240
00:13:01,790 --> 00:13:03,290
In your face.
241
00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:05,480
Every time.
242
00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:07,890
Wow, his uncle sure is strong.
243
00:13:08,670 --> 00:13:10,690
What if that's not even his uncle?
244
00:13:10,930 --> 00:13:15,289
I mean, Troy is so competitive, I bet
he'd hire a professional athlete to
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00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:17,150
pretend to be his uncle just to beat us.
246
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,370
Troy would never do that. He's too
cheap.
247
00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:23,960
But it does feel awfully convenient.
248
00:13:23,961 --> 00:13:28,479
You know what? If that's really Troy's
uncle, he'll have family photos to prove
249
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:29,560
it. Hey,
250
00:13:31,231 --> 00:13:33,179
Uncle Milton.
251
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,579
Hey. We were planning a prank on Troy
and we wanted to know if you had any
252
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:37,680
embarrassing photos.
253
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,420
Yeah, and if you're in them too, even
better.
254
00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:42,720
No, no embarrassing photos.
255
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:50,139
But... I do have this picture of Troy
and me at his fourth birthday party. You
256
00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:51,460
remember, right, Sawyer?
257
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:52,550
Wait, what?
258
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:59,820
Oh, you're Uncle Elton. I couldn't say
my M's back then. He was so cute.
259
00:14:00,251 --> 00:14:02,179
Oh, really?
260
00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:03,230
Was it cute?
261
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:04,720
I'm going to urder you.
262
00:14:05,451 --> 00:14:07,539
It was cute.
263
00:14:07,540 --> 00:14:09,179
I'll see you guys at the field tomorrow.
264
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:10,230
Later, Elton.
265
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:11,930
Love that guy.
266
00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:15,860
I can't believe you forgot that's his
real uncle.
267
00:14:15,990 --> 00:14:19,060
Hey, I was four. I couldn't even
remember how to put on my pants.
268
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:22,960
I wonder if it's too late to propose a
trade. My dad for Troy's uncle.
269
00:14:23,190 --> 00:14:24,870
You'd trade away your own father?
270
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:26,470
To beat Troy? Yeah.
271
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,730
What is this game doing to you?
272
00:14:29,290 --> 00:14:30,340
I don't know.
273
00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:37,590
Hey, Bella, what happened?
274
00:14:38,030 --> 00:14:39,950
It's nothing. It'll be better next week.
275
00:14:40,070 --> 00:14:41,120
You're faking.
276
00:14:41,150 --> 00:14:42,200
No, I'm not.
277
00:14:42,201 --> 00:14:45,189
The subtle indentation in your right arm
shows me your weight hasn't been
278
00:14:45,190 --> 00:14:48,029
displaced on your left foot and that
you've actually been walking.
279
00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,570
Fine. You got me.
280
00:14:50,270 --> 00:14:52,070
Wait, you just made all that up.
281
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:56,040
Yeah, Sophie told me she was lying, but
my version sounded way cooler.
282
00:14:56,041 --> 00:15:00,849
I'm faking because I didn't want to be
embarrassed by my mom, so I took us both
283
00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:01,900
out of the equation.
284
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:05,729
Embarrassing parents. I know what you
mean. You think I'm particular?
285
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:08,620
My dad ironed his workout shirt three
times this morning.
286
00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:10,350
Oh, man, I found a crease.
287
00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:13,190
I can't wear this. I'll look like a
vagabond.
288
00:15:14,860 --> 00:15:18,170
I know it's annoying, but I don't get to
spend a lot of time with him.
289
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,110
Don't worry, Dad. I have a travel iron
in my locker.
290
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,530
Yeah.
291
00:15:22,531 --> 00:15:24,919
You think Newt's dad is embarrassing?
292
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,440
Have you seen my dad's shorts?
293
00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:29,400
No. How could you? They're so tiny.
294
00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:34,440
What can you do?
295
00:15:34,441 --> 00:15:37,299
It's not like you can trade him in for a
cooler model.
296
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:38,350
He's my dad.
297
00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:39,590
You're right.
298
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:40,650
And he's my mom.
299
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:42,200
All right, Sawyer.
300
00:15:42,780 --> 00:15:43,860
Time to suit up.
301
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:46,920
Forgive me for this.
302
00:15:47,871 --> 00:15:49,359
I
303
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:57,139
can't
304
00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:58,999
believe you couldn't find the recipe
anywhere.
305
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,560
Trust me, I think this will work.
306
00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:01,790
Okay.
307
00:16:01,791 --> 00:16:05,599
Are you sure this is the best way to
grind the corn? If we want to make them
308
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:06,650
authentic.
309
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,090
Forget authentic.
310
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:12,889
The game... starts in an hour and we
haven't made any tamales we're using a
311
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:19,849
blender no pepper i don't think that's a
good idea i was right
312
00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:25,110
mom you're supposed to be a rafa
313
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,790
more, but we couldn't find your secret
recipe.
314
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:53,120
Why is she laughing? That's usually what
happens before she snaps.
315
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:57,040
You couldn't find my recipe because
there is no recipe.
316
00:16:57,620 --> 00:17:00,660
I buy frozen tamales from Coslo Club.
317
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:02,890
Huh?
318
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,879
But every time you make them, it takes
hours, and your face is always covered
319
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:08,930
cornmeal.
320
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:10,970
Yes.
321
00:17:13,130 --> 00:17:16,390
I used to make them from scratch before
I had 10 kids.
322
00:17:16,670 --> 00:17:20,950
Now I'm way too tired, so I send
everyone away.
323
00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:26,230
Homemade tamales are good.
324
00:17:26,550 --> 00:17:28,089
Free time is better.
325
00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:53,820
Wait. This means we can get frozen
tamales for the cheer booth.
326
00:17:54,090 --> 00:17:55,810
Mom, you're an evil genius.
327
00:17:56,590 --> 00:17:58,570
I want to grow up to be just like you.
328
00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:01,340
Bella,
329
00:18:06,930 --> 00:18:10,690
you shouldn't be off your crutches. Mom,
I'm actually fine.
330
00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:15,680
I lied about being injured because I was
embarrassed of you playing.
331
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,930
I'm sorry. I can't believe I did that.
332
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,010
Honey, I know.
333
00:18:21,610 --> 00:18:23,910
Your story was a little too specific.
334
00:18:24,530 --> 00:18:26,210
It was the bear claw, wasn't it?
335
00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:30,250
When I was your age, I was embarrassed
of my mom all the time.
336
00:18:30,251 --> 00:18:34,789
Like how she always seemed to find the
quietest moment during my dance recital
337
00:18:34,790 --> 00:18:39,310
to do a... So I know how you feel.
338
00:18:39,790 --> 00:18:40,840
I don't have to play.
339
00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:43,070
No, I don't care anymore.
340
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,550
You're my mom. I want you to play.
341
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:48,730
Oh, no.
342
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,360
I have just become my mom.
343
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,400
It doesn't sound so bad.
344
00:18:57,740 --> 00:18:58,920
Anybody have a napkin?
345
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:01,900
Never mind.
346
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,860
What are you guys doing?
347
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,880
Anything we can to stop your uncle.
348
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,370
We're playing man -to -man -to -man -to
-man -to -man defense.
349
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:41,220
So so fast.
350
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:44,850
What just happened?
351
00:19:45,210 --> 00:19:47,350
Man, being on a football field is tough.
352
00:19:47,351 --> 00:19:50,369
Wait, you've never played football
before?
353
00:19:50,370 --> 00:19:51,870
Do I look like I play football?
354
00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:55,450
Yeah, 100%. Oh, you mean this?
355
00:19:56,010 --> 00:19:59,620
I just like to keep in shape for my real
passion, synchronized swimming.
356
00:19:59,621 --> 00:20:03,749
I didn't invite him because he's good at
football.
357
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:07,109
I invited him because he's fun to hang
out with. Plus, dude has a super cool
358
00:20:07,110 --> 00:20:10,480
job. He spends all day fighting cyber
terrorists and super hackers.
359
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,570
Troy, for the last time, I don't work
for the CIA.
360
00:20:15,270 --> 00:20:17,010
Oh, so you really do work at the DMV?
361
00:20:17,011 --> 00:20:20,749
Can I come down there and help you pick
the least flattering photos from
362
00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:21,769
people's licenses?
363
00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:23,390
Of course. That's what we do.
364
00:20:23,870 --> 00:20:24,920
Awesome.
365
00:20:26,450 --> 00:20:28,710
Wow, we totally misjudged them.
366
00:20:29,050 --> 00:20:31,030
Troy cares more about family than women.
367
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:34,100
And that will be his downfall. Let's
take his butt.
368
00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:37,539
to keep talking, or are we going to go
play some football?
369
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:38,199
That's right.
370
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,999
We said we'd button -hook these bozos.
371
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:40,899
You got it, Mom.
372
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:44,510
I can't believe you thought I was
embarrassing, so where's Dad's weird
373
00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:54,480
Mom, get in here. It's about to start.
374
00:20:58,620 --> 00:20:59,800
Ace McFumble's here.
375
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,350
It's the moment you've all been waiting
for.
376
00:21:02,620 --> 00:21:04,740
The Parrots and Pigskins highlight reel.
377
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,439
Don't worry, Mom.
378
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,640
It could have been worse.
379
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,780
And now for my favorite highlight.
380
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,130
See?
381
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:35,550
Worse.
382
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,580
If I were you, I'd stay home sick
tomorrow.
383
00:21:38,581 --> 00:21:40,909
I'll even write you a note.
384
00:21:40,910 --> 00:21:45,460
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