Original subtitles

It's a long way from anywhere you've ever been before.

Got to get your act together.

We're not sure.

Hello.

Good sleep?

Blimey, I should say.

You lie very still.

You're warm but not sweaty.

You're a very good person for a sleep.

Thank you.

Strange business, eh?

Nice,

though. How many nights now?

Three.

Three brilliant sleeps.

Greta.

What?

The night you didn't sleep here, where did you go?

Rosemary, naturally.

So?

When you're with Rose, do you, um... Do I what?

Do I sleep in her bed with her?

Do we take our clothes off?

Do we make love? Do we have it off? Is this what's bothering you?

Do you think this is any of your business? No, you're quite right. I'm

It's just... No, let's talk about something else.

I sleep in her bed. I don't have any funny business with her. Now you know.

Thank you.

Look at you.

So happy because someone else isn't getting where you want to be.

Listen, I don't want any of this stuff. I don't want people getting in my body

and try to make me come and angry if I don't and hit me and cry and make me cry

too. I thought we were having a nice, peaceful time.

But now I think you're just lying there all the time thinking, how can I get in

her body and give her bedtime?

No, I'm not.

And don't you think it's a bit bloody arrogant of you, this assumption that

everyone fancies you, everyone wants to have it off with you? Did I come

creeping into your bed?

No, I didn't.

Right, well... You don't fancy me? Think I'm disgusting or something?

Of course I fancy you. That's not the point. The point is, if you could get it

through your thick head, I am not trying to seduce you, all right?

Right.

You know you have a bugger in your nose?

Bogey. The word is bogey.

Is it gone?

tell you something.

Antoine phoned me yesterday.

He's back in Paris for good, he says.

Lowlands University scared him shitless.

Now, he says, he understands that the life is a precious gift and he's going

enjoy it however crappy.

Amazing, yes?

Yes.

If he rang you yesterday, that means you could have gone back to your flat last

night.

Yes, I know.

But...

I wanted to stay here again.

You see, I'm hooked on your beautiful pyjamas.

Oh, my God, what's this?

A student called A .D. Shaw.

Help! I promise the whole committee will do something about him.

People, eh? Who needs them?

Robert, my darling, what on earth is going on? It is seven minutes past

Robert!

What's the matter?

I've lost the will to live.

Simple as that. Taken to my bed.

Daphne, a man can only sail up shit creeks so many times. Reach my limit.

Finished. That's all.

Robert, if you are not out of bed in ten seconds, I shall get a can of petrol

and I shall burn the house down.

And I mean that.

Right. Fine.

Shock tactics needed, then.

We'll go to work, then. Let them see how they get on without Robert Buzzard.

Want some breakfast?

Grab a date. Good.

You're a wonderful woman, Daphne. I'm not myself, but I recognise a tower of

strength when I see one.

Give me a cuddle, Daphne.

That reminds me.

Nookie. Haven't left Nookie behind forever, you know.

And now it's time for breakfast.

Tell me it's going to be all right, Daphne.

Well, it had better be all right, my darling.

Because I can tell you, I've had just about enough of it.

They're having a group meeting this morning.

I can't face being patronised by that smug sod Dolly Dacre.

He's got a new totty too. That man is sex mad.

She's not a patient, is she, the totty?

I don't know. I suppose she might be.

I'm going to report him to the GMC and get him struck off. You're not going to

do that. Shop a colleague.

You're really at a low ebb, aren't you, my darling?

Spotted it, have you?

Well, you'll have to snap out of it when Freddie Frith comes.

Oh, my God, Freddie Frith.

I've forgotten about him coming. How can I face Freddie Frith?

How can I tell him the boys are at Sprat's instead of Winchester?

Freddie's with Schlemmer Klee.

Even the reps at Schlemmer Klee drive brand -new Audi Quattros.

Daphne, my life is falling apart.

Robert, my darling, I'm sorry, but there is no way that I'm going to put up with

any more of this.

You've had your cuddle. You have had your egg.

And now you must get your act together and go to work.

And while you're at it, my darling, you might just consider that I have needs as

well. And I am not just talking about Nookie.

What do you reckon, then, honestly?

I think it's just about the most horrendous noise I've ever heard, I'm

Very encouraging.

I was worried it was still a bit bland.

Are you the heavy mope, then?

Yes, I am.

You've had two letters about it from the whole committee. If you can't keep the

noise down to acceptable levels, you'll have to get out of Kennedy Hall.

You did sign an agreement when you moved in. Oh, look, man, how am I going to

shift all this gear?

That's real victimisation. I'm surprised you're not blushing.

Eddie, you are victimising everyone else in this place. People are trying to

sleep. People are trying to work for finals. I'm working for finals.

I'm working 18 hours a day for finals, Dr Dacre. This that you're interrupting

now is a finals project.

What's in?

Electroacoustics.

It's a terrible, terrible department.

You know, when I first came here, I thought it would all be people like me,

playing in noise bands, dedicated to producing new...

Strange, pure, beautiful sounds.

Getting the beauty right into people's bodies, you know? Well, like... Sorry.

You've got a lovely low threshold, you know that?

But listen, what I'm saying, electroacoustics in this place is not

all. It's all about explosions and sonic boom and sonar and bugging and big,

fat, sexy defence contracts.

Only the maths is beautiful.

You're a doctor, right?

You must be into making life better and richer and that, not screwing people up.

Well, you ought to cherish me.

As the acceptable face of electroacoustics, you mean? That's

So you'll explain to this whole committee thing that it's all about

against oppression and beauty against terror and that, OK?

Ah, no.

I did find all that very interesting, but as for your strange, pure, beautiful

sounds, well, this is your final warning from me as warden of Kennedy Hall that

either you find somewhere else to make them or you pack them in altogether.

I'm sorry.

That's all right, Dr Dacre. No hard feelings.

I understand your problematic role in the apparatus of repression.

And you really thought the sound was horrendous, eh? Yes, I did. Well, that's

very encouraging.

John Peel said we wanted to be a bit louder.

I hoped I might be going to see you last night, Greta.

Yes, well, people, you know.

I phoned, actually.

You weren't at home.

No, I went to stay with someone.

Greta, I know I have no right to ask who.

Stephen Dacre.

Oh.

Yes, I went in his bed. No, we didn't have sex, okay? Can I go now?

Greta, please don't be angry with me.

I don't think I've felt like this about anyone since I was in school.

And how is that?

Helpless.

It's really quite embarrassing, Greta.

Finding myself thinking about you all the time, wanting to see you, wanting to

be with you.

I just don't know what to do with myself.

You could have a little wank.

Greta, please.

All these feelings, I don't know if I believe all this.

You weren't so desperate to see me the night Antoine was here, when I phoned

up. Greta, you didn't explain.

Well, I survived, you survived, so no problem.

But I do worry about you, Greta.

Stephen Dacre.

I know how straightforward, almost ingenuous he seems, but he's really a

manipulative personality.

Not like you or me, eh?

No.

You don't know anything about me, really.

I am a picture in your head. What you want to see, you want to put me in a

frame. I don't like it.

I feel uncomfortable.

Twisted knickers, you know.

You never laugh, you know that?

Why is that?

I'm a woman, Greta.

I suppose I feel there isn't very much for women to laugh about.

You know what? I think someone ought to give you a good tickle.

Oh, Greta.

You're so brave.

I do admire someone who can use laughter as a defence the way you do, but don't

you think the bravest thing of all might be to let the real feeling show?

Reveal your true, vulnerable self.

Uh, Bob?

Robert. I take it the direct clinic project is on the back burner for the

foreseeable future.

I'm really sorry it is a few teething troubles.

Thank you, Stephen.

Well, you win some, lose some.

I just wish that for once in my bloody life I could... Oh, that

way, danger lies. No whining from Buzzard.

Oh, don't worry about me. I'll just curl up and die on the carpet. Do carry on.

Oh, I wish you'd get on with it.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

No business.

Have I missed something?

No, that's fine.

Could you give us an update on the male sexuality workshop first?

Yes, of course, Stephen.

We've established a programme of rolling groups. Rosemary?

Yes, Job? This rolling, would it be a form of sexual intercourse or a

for it? It's a group organisational strategy, Job.

I see.

They do go on.

90 % of the original group are now anorgasmic, celibate... alternative

or post -interactionally autonomous.

Oh, good.

Is that good?

Yes, it is good, Stephen. What does it mean?

Well, it means they don't come or they don't penetrate or they do it by

themselves or they've given it up as a bad job.

Oh, well, yes, that is good news, Rose.

I must say I would be much happier if my colleagues, my male colleagues, were

able to demonstrate...

Similar responsibilities in their own conduct.

Well, clean sheet there.

No problems on the buzzard front, I assure you, Rose.

I wasn't thinking of the buzzard front.

The buzzard front does not bear thinking about... Look, could we get on? There

seems to be quite a lot of patients out there. Oh, God, patients, too. I keep

forgetting them.

And I do have a Senate meeting, so if there's nothing else, pressing.

There's a lot of very groggy -looking people out there.

Yes, that's odd, isn't it?

Spinals are still quite a long way off, and I thought we got through the initial

AIDS panic.

Search deeper, Stephen.

The prince of darkness insinuates his cold finger into the deepest recesses of

the campus.

We scamper this way and that, seeking to massage our stresses, sanitize our

sexuality, but death has many forms.

Yes, the beagles run free.

The black -booted beetles of repression are temporally thwarted.

But yet, deeper still, the dark vibrations of unimaginable evil rumble

the bones and nerves of every one of us.

Murder will out.

I say no more at present.

Excuse me. This is not a gymnasium.

Name, please.

O'Shea.

O'Shea.

Thank you.

Miss Cartwright for Dr. Rosemarie, please.

Miss Cartwright!

I'm very happy to announce the Senate a new and very substantial research grant

for the Vibrations Research Institute in electroacoustics, following up

Professor Midling's recent theoretical breakthrough in the field.

It's kind of mean of me to say so, but I guess Southampton and Salford must be

feeling a little sick right now. May one inquire at the source of this largesse?

Sure, George.

The Thomas Jefferson North Atlantic Trust.

One speaks as an ignorant layman, of course, but aren't those the chaps that

give chaps money to find new ways of killing other chaps?

Forgive me, Professor Bond, that is an ill -informed view.

Jefferson funds across a whole range of projects, and Midling's work is purely

theoretical. I guess he won't be wasting anyone at Lowlands, George.

So what is the precise nature of this research?

Now, Professor Milling isn't here right now, George. Maybe you can ask him

yourself. I think we might move on now.

I'd be very interested in that as well.

I've recently developed a bit of an interest in the subject.

Oh, really, Dacre? This is Senate, not an elementary school.

When there's a ladybird book on the subject, we'll get it in the library.

until then, I'm afraid you wouldn't have the remotest chance of understanding

it. In any case, I think the project's classified.

Ah!

I'm grateful to you, Ferris, for that information.

Do please proceed, Vice -Chancellor. I must return to preside over the

disintegration of the English department, which may I remind Senate

a distinguished reputation as electroacoustics.

And no doubt when we perfected a way of killing Russians by dropping Pope and

Dryden on their heads, we shall enjoy equal research funding.

Professor Midland's taken me off the honoured degree.

Which means that the best that I can hope for now is a pass.

I know it's my own fault, but I feel pretty shitty about it.

Karen, you're a woman.

Men condition women to feel things of their own fault and to feel shitty when

they should be feeling angry.

What reason did he give?

Well, you know, I didn't make the top third.

The top third?

Do you mind my asking what A -level grades you had when you came here?

Two A's and a B. Most of the people in my department have got three or four

It's a really heavy department, electroacoustics.

It's clearly a department that victimises talented women.

I shouldn't really have volunteered for the vibe.

I was really getting into wave theory, but I find it so hard to concentrate

Volunteered for the... Low -frequency vibration project.

Ten pound an hour. It's brilliant.

Well, you can live on a glant nowadays.

The only thing is it doesn't seem to do your brains much good.

Karen, you're telling me you've been participating in a project in which

been subjected to low -frequency vibration, as a result of which your

work has suffered?

Sorry, what?

I've got a temporary threshold shift, too.

Oh, Karen.

Don't worry about me.

I always quite fancied being an estate agent.

God, you're a boring man.

RAF scholarship, paratroop training, fit as a fighting cock, living the life of

Riley in a subsidised union bar.

If your professor sees fit to hit you with, what was it? 100 dBA at 18 inches.

The least you could do is grin and bear it.

Naturally, you'll have a headache. We all get headaches.

As a matter of fact, you've just given me a headache.

And you're having problems with the maths.

Well, there's an explanation for that. You see, electroacoustics is a difficult

subject, and you're obviously suffering from a condition we doctors know as not

having very much up top.

Afraid that's incurable.

What else? Oh, suicidal tendencies.

Look, buddy, we all get suicidal tendencies. It comes with the territory.

So much for that. To sum up...

I've just about had it up to here with hearing people's personal problems. Got

quite enough on my own, thank you very much indeed.

And to be quite frank, it wouldn't bother me too much if you walked off and

popped yourself, all right?

I'm sorry, would you mind repeating all that?

I'm afraid I'm suffering from a temporary threshold shift.

Get out.

Go and jump in the lake.

Come in.

Come in.

Ah, there you are.

Fascinating. Have no fear, Mr. O'Shea. I am familiar with this condition.

You must have been giving the bottle a fearful pummeling. No, no, it's not the

booze, Dr. McCannon.

I think we've been overdoing it a bit, volunteering for the experiments.

I find myself a bit unsteady on my pins.

Experiments?

In which department?

Electroacoustics. Ah.

I see.

Crawl over here and tell me all about it, Mr. O'Shea.

And all these students were from electronics or electroacoustics?

Stephen, my dear chap, I've seen some fascinating cases this morning, cases

lead us deeper than ever before into the heart of darkness.

But I see you're entertaining ladies.

I will not intrude. No, no, Jock, that's quite all right. None of these

fascinating cases came from electroacoustics, did they?

My dear boy, how very clairvoyant of you.

Well, I certainly will have a little chat with their professor.

There obviously is some problem there.

What's this?

You've been talking about me, haven't you?

Dacre, have you been talking to Daphne? I want the truth. No, we were talking

about something quite different, Bob, honestly.

You haven't seen any electroacoustic students lately, have you?

Saw one.

Absolute no hope. I told him to go and jump in the lake. What of it?

I'm so sorry. I was looking for Professor Middling.

I'm Middling. I won't be a second.

Yes. Well, we can't help you on a consultancy basis.

Oh, I'm afraid we're awfully expensive. Does that matter?

Oh, fine.

Mr. Doosanby in finance will sort out the contract for us. I'm quite hopeless

about money.

But we'll get a couple of bright boys on this one. It sounds like great fun.

Bye for now, then.

That was a chap in Colorado.

You know, they just go on and on, those Colorado chaps.

I hate to think what their phone bill must be.

Are you Dr Dacre?

Yes. I don't want to take up too much of your time, but I do think this might be

important. That's all right.

Let's go out to lunch.

My treat.

I found this place that's a super ice cream.

Have you got time?

Yes, I suppose so.

Good.

Now, I've been looking forward to this all morning.

I haven't got used to this car yet.

People say they're jolly good, so I thought I'd get one.

Actually, I find it really hard to think of things to do with the money they

give us, don't you?

No, not really.

Cars are really tedious, these simple machines.

I don't know why they're so hard to drive.

Ah, here we are.

The thing is, it's so convenient to use our own students.

You get much quicker and easier feedback than you do with animals.

And you know what they say.

Students are thicker on the ground than rats or rabbits.

And you don't get so attached to them.

What?

That's just a joke.

It's quite good though, isn't it?

Look. You must realise that repeated threshold shift results in eventual

permanent and irreversible hearing loss. I do know they're all volunteers, but

in the face of the evidence, you really can't continue, can you?

I suppose not really.

This is very irritating.

I say... Yes, sir? I bet you know what I'm going to ask for, don't you?

An honest blip, sir?

Right.

And another Coke, please.

Same for you.

No, I'll just have a black coffee, thanks.

You've got very sophisticated taste.

Um, the other thing I wanted to talk to you about was the very high levels of

stress that are showing up amongst the electroacoustic students.

Really? It seems to be related to the very high failure and dropout rate in

first and second years.

Oh, I see.

Oh, yes.

We do let quite a lot of them go, I suppose.

But you have a very high calibre of student at entry, don't you?

I suppose so. 3 .8 at A -level is standard.

But A -level's just baby stuff. You can't really predict from it.

And you see, actually, I don't need more than about half a dozen bright boys by

the end of the third year. The rest of them just clutter up the place.

So we've developed our pyramid failing policy, weeding out the dozy ones as we

go along.

Here we are.

Splendid.

No, no parasol.

Oh, yes, that's more like it.

Are you sure you won't have one?

These dozy ones, as you call them, aren't really dozy, are they? They get

honours degrees at other places.

I only expect so. They get first and upper seconds at some universities, I

mention. So, forgive me if this sounds rude, but don't you think your policy is

a bit inhumane? Don't you worry about damaging people?

Of course.

It's my turn to be rude, I'm afraid.

I find this awfully difficult.

But you see...

I suppose it's fine to be a medical man and not be very bright.

But you've got to be rather clever to be a theoretical scientist.

And you're rather clever.

I'm very clever.

And, well, I sort of think if you're not capable of significant original

research, you shouldn't be at a university at all.

A .D. Shaw is one of yours, isn't he? Do you know him?

A funny chap.

Actually, he is quite bright.

But he's interested in all the wrong sorts of things.

Musical vibration.

Well, that's been a dead end for 15 years, theoretically speaking.

Waste of talent does make me rather cross, I'm afraid.

Look, don't you realise your whole departmental policy is the systematic

of talent?

Don't get ratty.

I'm really enjoying our chat.

No, it isn't an earth drummer, Julie.

It can't be, honey. We're not on a fault line.

I guess it's just a little natural vibration.

Well, I guess you could try to enjoy it, Julie.

No, I can't right now, honey.

I'm all tied up in a working lunch.

Yeah, we're sweating on the line here, honey.

Charlie says to say hi for him.

No, Charlie can't come to the phone right now. Honey, I've got to go now.

got to go now, Julie.

Listen, why don't you and Consuela hose down the Rottweilers? You know, you like

that.

Well, it was just a thought.

Honey, I've got to go now.

Well, sure I love you, Julie.

I'm real sorry, Rose. She gets kind of jumpy if I don't call.

You're a very caring man, Jack.

Well, I guess I'd like to please all the people all the time, you know. I do

understand. But I wish I knew how to explain it to you.

Electroacoustics is kind of special territory.

The work they're doing there, well, I guess it's worth making a few sacrifices

for. You see?

No, don't turn over.

You'll find it more rewarding this way, believe me.

I, uh... Yeah, maybe you're right.

You know, I hate to disappoint you, Rose. I suppose there's something we

do for the failed students, but Professor Middling has to be happy with

His research work must be very special.

What is he working on, exactly?

Well, it has to do with vibrations.

It's kind of secret, I guess, and kind of technical.

But if it pans out and all the signs are good, I believe we're talking about

saving Western civilization. Yeah.

Oh, that's good.

Saving Western civilization.

Oh. Hey, Rose, honey. You know, Jack, I find it so thrilling, I suppose, is the

only word, being so close to the center of power.

Well, maybe if I turned over, you might feel even closer. Oh, Jack.

I'm alone in a dark and steamy jungle.

Jim Togg, Plimsoll, not the rest of the champs got my elephant gun, though.

Not going too far for you, am I? No, no, my dear chap. I'm all ears. Right.

Jungle floor starts to vibrate.

Aha. What?

Do carry on.

I come to this clearing, and there on the other side is a huge, wounded, angry

elephant. A bull or a cow?

An elephant!

Oh, I see, a female.

Anyway, the point is, I raise my elephant gun to my shoulder, fight along

barrel, start to squeeze the trigger, and then the barrel slowly droops

away.

Amazing, eh?

Eh, well, then what happens?

Well, then I wake up, that's it.

Bet you've never heard anything like that before.

Robert, in all my years of exploring the dark recesses of the Saki, I've seldom

heard such a classically banal manifestation of the unconscious.

Admit it, you mean it all up to please me?

No. I did not. I don't mind telling you, Jock. It cost me something to come in

here and ask for help. And if a single word of this gets back to Daphne... Now,

dear chap, I am deeply touched and honored by your confidence.

All right. Get on with the analysis.

Hey, tell me, Bob.

What comes into your mind when I say the word gun?

It just let your thoughts roll freely.

Oh, Lord, do I have to?

Right.

Gun.

Lock, dock and barrel.

Left. Chest of drawers.

Lady with large chest for sale.

Sail away.

Upshit Creek.

Haven't got a paddle.

Got my gun, though. Big, strong gun.

Where's the trigger?

Trigger, trigger.

Roy Rogers.

Rogers, Rogers.

Roy Rogers, trigger.

Oh, my God, what am I talking about? Get back to the gun.

Gun, bang, fire.

If I don't get my act together, Daphne's going to burn the house down. I've got

to get my act together.

Oh, my God, Freddie Frith!

Freddie Frith, yes.

I think I understand.

You feel a Freudian face. We're getting nearer to the heart of the matter. The

jungle floor is beginning to vibrate with a vengeance. No, no, no, you stupid

old sod. Freddy, Fred.

You should have been home an hour ago. Daphne's going to kill me.

Bob. No time, no time. Come see Freddy waiting.

Extraordinary.

I wish I knew what he was really up to.

He wouldn't tell you?

He said it was a secret.

It was like a little kid.

I don't know.

Doctors are supposed to be perceptive. Sometimes I think I don't know what

anyone's up to.

Middling, Jack Daniels, Jock, Rosemary.

You?

People, eh?

Listen, I want to come off your list.

I don't want to be a patient anymore.

Oh?

Oh.

Don't get too excited about it.

Hey, Dr.

Dacre!

Oh, can I interrupt you?

It's a pre -country.

Oh, we're told, eh?

You think I'm tough? Because this is Aidy Shaw, the man who makes the

sounds. I've cracked it.

I'm presenting my final year project as a live performance.

I thought you'd like to come along and hear it.

Whatever gave you that idea?

Oh, come on, admit it. You're a fan.

How about you? Do you like music at all? Yes, I do like music.

You call that music the noise you make? I think it's beautiful.

Listen, you make sounds like this where I come from. They give you 20 years of

hard labour.

Can we use that in our publicity?

Sure.

And I come to your performance, and I bring these men here.

Friday night in the Union. I've just got to check it out with my professor.

I have to go now.

I didn't know you were coming.

I'll see you soon.

See you on Friday.

But vibrations.

Uh,

look.

Freddie,

old buddy, how are you? Uh, fine, Bob, just fine.

Sorry I'm late. Had to sort something out with the old fart.

What it is for us workaholics.

Hope Daphne's been looking after you all right?

Oh, fine.

Freddie and I have been to bed, Robert. Oh, good.

What? Really?

You're joking.

She's joking.

Isn't she?

Since you can't be bothered to come home, and the souffle was completely

ruined... And Freddy is so remarkably short of intelligent conversation, but

rather a dish in his way. And with quite a reputation in the nookie field.

Well, what with one thing and another, I decided to see what I'd been missing

out on all these years, my darling.

Is this true?

I'm afraid so.

So, what are you going to do about it, Robert?

your feet, buddy, you and me, outside to the death. Look, Bob, couldn't we talk

this over like we do? Out!

And I'll attend to you later, my darling.

Robert!

It's a bit hard to explain to Elaine.

Yes, I know. There isn't a ladybird book about it.

Eh... Opera thing, all right?

There's a glass, and she goes... Bloody hell! That didn't work.

But you get the principle.

Critical resonance.

Human voice can do it to a wine glass, but everything's got a critical

resonance. Cars, aircraft, all that.

What you call sound is just vibration.

Work out the right vibrations. You can shake anything to bits.

Look, I'll have another go at the glass.

No, no, no, please.

I don't see what use it is.

Pure reception.

It doesn't have to be any use.

Professor Middling's into the abstract beauty of it. He doesn't care what

does with it.

Hold on to this.

Everything has a critical rest.

Middling's worked out the sums for it.

I'm just interested in the musical application.

Yeah.

I sometimes feel as if I'm reaching my, what was it, critical resonance.

Yeah, it would work for people too.

You'd get different resonances for different parts.

Spine, heart, liver. Shake them to bits.

You're not serious.

Why not?

Ah, Stephen, my dear chap. Professor Bunn and I have just enjoyed a profound

exchange of insights.

Evening, Dacre.

We are getting nearer the heart of the dark secret. Send this young man away.

We have matters of great import to discuss.

Right. See you Friday. No, hang on.

Amy, could you better go through your Lady Bird bit again?

Well... At least it hasn't put you off your squash game.

Five nil to buzzard.

You were like a mad bull in there. Thanks, Brady.

Mind you, it's a shattering blow. What can a chap believe in any more?

I feel absolutely frightful about this, Bob.

You sort of caught me on the hop, if you know what I mean.

Of course, you know I've always had a soft spot for Daphne, but I never really

saw her as a goer.

What did I, Freddy? No, what did I?

It was a bit of a tricky situation.

Well, of course, I appreciate that.

Look here, Freddy, you did, didn't you?

Take precaution. No.

Oh, absolutely.

Well, you know, company man through thick and thin.

Sorry?

Schlemmer Klee.

We're market leaders in Western Europe now.

Sorry, I didn't quite... Rubber Johnny.

This AIDS business has been a real shot in the arbor, chaps like us.

It's a funny old world.

Quite bloody hilarious.

Actually, if this, uh, business hadn't come up, I was going to sound you out

about a possible opening.

Schlemmer Klee are looking for a good man to look after the South West.

Really? Robert Buck, Robert Johnny Rick.

Not exactly what I dreamed about at Shrewsbury.

Forget I mentioned it. No, no, I'm very grateful.

The money is extremely good.

Look here, Freddie.

We go back a long way. No longer than I've known Daphne. Absolutely.

I think Daphne is trying to set me a sort of challenge.

That's the way I see it.

Ah. Women are changing, you know.

I see a lot of them at work, know what I'm talking about.

Daphne wants to see if I can rise to this challenge, be a sort of new man

this. And I'm not going to let her down.

That's the spirit.

What we're going to do, Freddie, is motor on back to Buzzard Mansions and

be very mature about the whole thing, all good friends together.

Daphne will be tremendously impressed.

You don't think it might be better if I sort of, um...

Hello, Pop.

Then you go back and say you've given me a fearful hiding and sweep her off to

the nuptial couch sort of thing. No, no, no. That's what the old man would do.

We're going to be new men.

Well, you know her better than I do, Bob.

Right, buddy.

Off we go.

It is there in black and white.

University regulations.

Final year student may present their project at a live performance.

But those regulations came from the days when acoustics was a Mickey Mouse

department full of musicians and architects and people like that.

It's a shame you never get round to altering them, Professor Middling. You

this is very silly of you, so you know you're putting your degree class at

I used to see you as a very promising student.

Don't give up on me yet, Professor.

I think you'll find my project very interesting.

Good of you to spare us the time, Steve.

Well, that's OK.

Charlie, Jack wants you to know that he really appreciates the quality of your

caring for the students in electronics and acoustics.

Oh, thanks very much.

Actually, what Phil Robinson said... Jack wants you to know it's all been

care of.

In what way?

You don't need to worry about it anymore, Steve.

Jack wants you to know that.

Well, yes, but... Eric Midling is kind of a special guy, Steve. He's a... What

do you call him here? A boffins, right?

It's very easy to upset them, you know, without meaning to.

I didn't think I'd upset him. In fact, he seemed extremely pleased with

Well, Jack feels he'll be happier if he can just get on with his work without

interruptions. I dare say we'd all like that.

Well... Jack will be glad to know we all feel the same way, Steve.

See, this friend of yours, Dr.

Grotowska, she's Polish, is that right?

Yes.

Well, I guess that's fine.

Good talking to you, Steve.

You give good meeting.

May I?

Just wondering if you had the printout for the anxiety and stress card.

Well... Are you all right?

She's left me.

She's left me, Rose.

Daphne has left me.

She's packed her bags and gone back to Mother.

What am I going to do?

Oh, Bob, I'm so sorry.

You're a woman.

You understand these things.

She says she's lost all respect for me.

Do you think she's gone off her trolley?

Well, it can't always be easy for her, Bob. Living with a man who's so full of

that restless, vibrant energy.

Perhaps she just needs breathing space.

Perhaps you both do.

A crisis in a marriage can be very creative.

Yes, I see.

Yes, see your point.

Breathing space.

As a matter of fact, Rose, we have been going through a bit of a hairy phase.

A hairy phase, Bob?

Well, you know, I haven't been feeling quite the thing myself lately. A bit

jumpy, rumbling guts, dreams about elephants, trouble on the...

Nookie in front.

She's a fine woman, Rose, but she can be a bit of a strain to live with.

Breathing space.

That's it.

That's what we both need. You're a brilliant woman, Rose.

I'm so glad to be of any help, Bob.

Look here.

Are you doing anything on Friday night?

It's all guaranteed.

I've seen it with my own eyes.

Four dozen veggie burgers, six cases of crucial brew, and a bottle of vodka for

three. And don't forget to wear the ears of vendors.

More wine, please.

I think I get nice and random wine.

You're not driving?

No, I'm not driving.

Tonight I think I need a good leave with a brilliant job.

Oh, good.

Right, more wine then.

Evening, buddy.

Bob, Rosemary, what are you doing here?

Breathing space.

Breathing space.

Actually, there isn't any breathing space. Look at the bloody students.

They're all as drunk as skunks, buddy.

No wonder they all get so ill.

Alcoholic poisoning.

Go home and do some work. Steady on, folks. Come on, come on. Let the dog see

the rabbit. Man here wants a drink.

Ah, you're a fine -looking girl.

Bet you can't guess what I do for a living.

I'm a rubber Johnny Red.

Is he all right?

No, he isn't, Stephen.

He turned up on my back in a highly excited state. I thought it was wiser to

him somewhere where there were other people about.

But it seems to have gone to his hairdresser.

No. He was quoting me. I was here first.

Well, there's definitely business that's hit him hard. Yes.

I think he's heading for a crisis.

I'm very glad you're here, Stephen.

I think he might be rather more than I can cope with on my own. Over here!

Over here!

Good evening, Middling.

We've come to see your little performance.

It's not my performance, Barrett. I didn't really want to be here at all.

Why do all these student things start so late?

Past your bedtime, is it? Never mind. What are you drinking?

Coca -Cola.

Extraordinary.

Hello.

Hello.

I'm sorry, do I know you? Greta Grotowski.

And you are Professor Midling, aren't you? Yes, I am.

How did you know?

Somebody described you to me. I recognize your wonderful little body.

Oh.

Gosh. This embarrasses you?

I embarrass many men.

I'm a Polish, you know.

Yes, I... I see.

Hello, sorry, but I have a crush at the bar.

Hello, Decker.

Is this your girlfriend?

Well... Yes, you can try this if you like.

I think she's awfully pretty.

Oh, I see. That's why you were staring at my tits.

I wasn't.

I wasn't.

Honestly. Hi, Eric.

Steve.

Dr. Grotowska.

Everything okay, Eric?

Oh, yes, of course.

I just wish they'd get on with it so we could get it out. We're all set,

Professor Midland. We're ready when you are.

This really is a tedious waste of time, Shaw.

Go on, you'll love it.

Right, folks, this is it.

Easy, Shaw.

And in terms of acoustics, this is totally devoid of interest!

City mellows barking up quite the wrong tree!

We call that one bad vibrations.

You shouldn't be working, you.

We thought you were dead when you came in. You were out cold for two days.

I feel jolly good. I'm getting up in a minute. I've got to get back to the lab.

No, you don't.

You do what you're told in here.

I say.

Good morning, Dr. Jacob. Good morning. That woman has said that I tried her.

How are you feeling?

Fine, thanks.

We've got the test back. Looks as if there won't be any permanent damage.

Look, I hope you're not going to be too hard on Aidy Shaw.

I'm sure he was just carried away with his own enthusiasm.

He's a bit of an idealist in a way.

I'm not cross with Shaw.

I'm very impressed with him.

This study is first -class, original work.

And...

He's actually stumbled across one of the shortcuts we were looking for.

Good. Those chaps in arms are going to have to pull their socks up now.

Edith?

What's all this?

You must have landed a record contract.

No, it's not a record contract.

The pants would never sell out.

No, it's more of a consultancy contract.

Oh?

Some people in Colorado surprisingly easy work, but the mathematics is

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