All language subtitles for A Very Peculiar Practice s01e05 Contact Tracer

It's a long way from anywhere you've
ever been before.

Got to get your act together.

We're not sure.

We're not.

The Thick University Part Two.

A new morning, a new beginning.

McCannon was sick unto death, but now he
lives again.

Everywhere he looks, he sees the
germination of creative contact.

He will leave that beyond you as well.

Tendrils of human communication reach
out to each other.

part jumps the gap.

Contact.

New insight is born.

17 minutes dead, Vice -Chancellor.

Are you sure?

Sorry, Vice -Chancellor.

Right.

Aim in the memory tape.

Sir Roy Craft Ebbing, Ebbing
Electronics, dear Roy, I was shocked to

your remarks concerning the indifference
and hostility of the Cambridge

establishment, and I was wondering if
you would be interested in coming down

Lowlands and giving us a run over.

one thing.

You're my very best client.

Thank you. Really?

I would have thought Dr.

Dacre once had a touch to go by.

You're going to figure very prominently
in my research report.

Don't worry, Doc.

Names will be changed to protect the
innocent.

Uh, Lynn?

Hmm? Your other clients, do you...

I mean, do you employ the same
therapeutic

techniques?

I never discuss my other clients with my
clients, do you? No, no, of course not.

You're not getting jealous, are you? No,
really.

Well, I'm with you. I'm with you. You
know that. Yes, I know.

Yes.

You ought to.

You know,

when you were at school... What?

Did you have to read all those
Shakespeare plays and things?

One or two.

You know, where the bloke's after the
wrong girl, so some wise duke or

slips another girl into bed with him in
the dark and he can't tell a difference.

I don't think anything like that
happened in Julius Caesar.

No, but the point I'm making is,
Shakespeare was a wally.

Everyone is totally different like that.

I'd know you anywhere.

In total darkness in a split second,
it's like an idyll act.

Do you know about idiolects? No.

Well, quite a lot of people can share
the same dialect, but no two people

exactly the same.

In that respect, we're all unique.

Good, eh?

We've all got our own unique idiolect.

Yes, I see.

Hmm. Well, I'm a body language person,
and no

one's ever done sexual idiolects.

Bet you're going to.

Hmm.

They're difficult.

Much easier to experience than describe.

Yes, I do see that, Lynn.

It's you that's made me think of it.

I don't know.

Being with you, it's, um... It's like,
uh, listening to you.

I mean, it's, uh, it's like listening to
you.

Is that all right?

Yeah, of course it is.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

It's just that occasionally, I mean,
don't get me wrong, I feel tremendously

lucky and grateful and all that, and I
am. It's just that now and then I feel

like, well, like one of those smoking
beetles.

An experimental subject?

Well, yes.

Well, all experimental subjects,
Stephen.

In life's cruel laboratory, the sort of
thing that Jock says.

Hey, listen, you.

I was trying to tell you, you're
special.

Oh. I'd say more when it's against the
rules.

Really?

You're lying.

That's a bit early, isn't it?

I've got an early morning meeting with
the VC, whole team.

It's a bit daunting, like a dawn
execution.

Oh, you'll be all right. Everyone thinks
you're wonderful.

What time?

8 .30.

Oh, that's ages yet.

I think we've got some time to collect a
bit more experimental data on our

sexual idiolecs.

What do you reckon, Doc?

Feel like a quickie?

Oh, yes, thanks.

Apple juice?

I'm not a hippie. I'm sorry, Dr Buzzard,
it's his new thing.

You know, health?

Oh, yes, that.

He's in another meeting at the moment,
but that should be nearly over. He's

three minutes behind schedule.

His morning workout overran a bit.

Ah.

Are you all right, Dr McCallum?

Oh, yes, my dear.

Just a little weary from my week
training, that's all.

Oh, absolutely, yes.

Morning. Good morning. Excellent.

Very good of you all to come over. You
won't have met Dr Theodulu, our most

recent appointment, reader in
interdisciplinary studies. This is our

team, Daniela. How do you do? Dorothy,
get Dr Theodulu a copy of the fact that

this is the law department.

Right. Inter what was that?

Interdisciplinary studies.

Yes, Daniela's opening up some new lines
of investigation along the interfaces

between subject disciplines.

Ah.

Microbiology and business studies,
anthropology and electronics.

Anywhere with the gross potential, you
know. I like to think I'm a kind of a

catalyst to see a possibility make
something happen.

There you are. Ah, thank you.

And now I must excuse myself.

I have to go and talk about cell
cultures to the law department.

Fine, fine.

You around, maybe? Yes, fine, right.
Well, let's make a start then, shall we?

Good. Got your apple juice?

Good. Fine. Thank you, Dorothy.

Well, I'd like to make this one a
quickie. I assume that will suit

Yes, fine.

Good, fine.

Well, I've been looking through all your
research profiles and they seem to

stand up pretty well.

Some could be better.

We need more projects like your
hamburger drug thing, Buzzards. Pulling

overseas funding.

Sound thinking, then. How's it coming
along?

Well, Vice -Chancellor... Good, fine.
Well, just make it stick, eh? Anything

else? Yes.

Yes, um... A simple diagnosis indication
storage and retrieval programme for

17 minor ailments.

All on floppy disk. We could market it
under the Lowlands University software

imprint.

Sounds rather good, Buzzard. Yeah.

Yes, that's the sort of thinking we
need. You see, more hard -nosed,

-based, packageable products.

Yes.

Yes, you're probably just an example of
that, Buzzard. Thank you, Vice

-Chancellor. A very small example.

See, what I'm looking for are large
-scale breakthroughs. My instinct tells

they'll happen along the interfaces.

Creative contact, interdisciplinary
networks. That's why I'm seeing

See, new ideas can happen anywhere.

Well, almost anywhere.

Anyway, my door is always open, remember
that?

Oh, yes, just one more short -term
thing. You remember last year the Sunday

Times published a series of articles
called Frank Profiles of British

Universities? Remember what they said
about Lowlands?

Ah, yes, I do recall.

Yes, good for maths, good for
cybernetics, otherwise forget it. And by

the roof sneak's not very inspiring, is
it? I mean, let's do something to

enhance our profile in the public image.

Any positive thoughts?

Well, we do have a very high standard of
care and counselling.

Do we? I'm delighted to hear it. Where's
your evidence?

Well, very low drop -out rate and one of
the lowest suicide rates in the

country. Not the lowest?

Well, no, not quite.

Well, it's something, isn't it? I mean,
I think we should get in the press,

don't you? High -profile it. The caring
university.

Fine note to end on. Thank you all.

Ernie, my book. Yes, another time, Jock.
Well, very good indeed to see you all.

Very quiet today, my dear.

Don't forget the interfaces.

Seek out the creative contacts.

Jeannie McAllister.

That's right.

We don't seem to have seen much of you,
Jeannie.

It's a shame, but I'm never ill, so I
thought I'd come and see you anyway.

Well, that's nice.

Actually, it's a bit cheeky.

I'm doing this for a low life.

Lowlife?

Oh, the student paper.

I'm on the staff.

Well, I'm more or less on the staff.
Yes, of course.

We'd like to do a feature article about
you, Dr. Dacre.

In -depth interview.

You've made ever such a good impression
on the students.

Oh, no, really.

Well, you know you have.

I was hoping I could find out what the
secret is.

You know, how you set the patient at
ease, the little clues you look for, how

you get the rapport going, all that.

It will be fascinating.

But unprofessional, really.

I'm afraid it's out of the question. You
must know that.

Ah, well, worth a try.

And anyway, there isn't really any
secret.

Apart from the fact that all of us in
this practice believe in the standard

-minute consultations rather than the
usual three or four you find elsewhere.

And that...

As a practice, we're committed to
treating the patient as a whole person,

that, we think, contributes to the
extremely low suicide and dropout rate

university. It's one of the lowest in
the country.

Really? That's smashing. Just let me get
that down.

You don't happen to know who's got the
highest rate, do you?

I don't think it would be fair to tell
you.

You're very discreet, aren't you?

Doctors have to be, Jeannie.

Yes, of course.

What's your biggest problem, then?

VD?

Sorry?

I didn't mean you personally, Dr. Dacre.

Oh, no, of course not.

Well, it's not really a problem in the
university, either, Jeannie. That's

wonderful. Must make us quite unusual,
too. You mean you don't ever get any

cases at all?

Well, naturally, in a community such as
this one, preponderantly young adults

living away from home and a high level
of social interaction, it would be very

unusual to find a complete absence of
FTD.

STD, that's... Sexually transmitted
diseases.

But the point I was making was the
extremely low incidence.

In fact, I really don't think it's worth
mentioning at all.

Oh, no.

I shouldn't think we will.

That wasn't Jeannie McAllister, was it?

Yes, it was.

Stephen, you know I wouldn't pry into
anything confidential.

Oh, she wasn't ill. She wanted something
for the student paper. So I told her

all the good news.

Bit of luck, really, her coming in just
after what the VC said.

Intelligent girl, I thought.

Sorry, woman.

Person. Well, you know.

What's the matter?

She is bright, yes.

Not very scrupulous, though.

You do know she's a stringer for Fleet
Street.

Good Lord, really?

But honestly, Rosemary, I just told her
what an excellent practice we run here.

More or less.

This is terrible.

Look at that. God knows.

It's really nice to hear it is. But it's
a complete...

of what I told her.

It's not that really safe. I mean, if
you read it carefully, you can see it's

saying there isn't much VD and there
aren't many suicides. I'm just going to

read it carefully now. Look at this.
Dial STD for Dr Blue Eyes.

It's quite funny, really.

Dr Blue Eyes.

I think the VC will find it funny.

Oh, you won't mind.

Everybody likes Dr Blue Eyes.

And here, gentlemen, is where we shall
be having our new science park.

Science park, yes.

We find it very interesting.

Woburn Abbey, Lions of Longleat. Very
nice to visit.

Mr. Sakamoto asks particularly, will
there be crocodiles in the lake here?

No, no, gentlemen.

A science park is a dense concentration
of high -technology research and

development labs.

Not crocodiles, gentlemen.

Porta cabins.

Oh, I see. In Japan, we call that
industrial estate or robe factory.

Oh, no, not the same thing at all.

Well, not quite.

Any more questions, gentlemen?

When will we be meeting Dr. Blue Eyes?

I'm afraid our schedule is rather too
crowded for that. We shall be going over

to cybernetics next, and there you'll be
able to meet the reader in

interdisciplinary studies.

Dr.

Blue Eyes?

That is no hustle.

Yes, yes, Arne, I do see that.

I shan't keep you long, my dear chap.

But only if you read it carefully,
you'll see it's very complimentary about

practice, and indeed it.

Would you care for something to read?

Yes, I'll make quite sure he doesn't,
Vice -Chancellor.

By the way, I...

Tell me all about it.

I... Yes?

When I... I'm sorry, I can't say.

I'm too ashamed.

Oh, my dear chap, there's no need to be.

Whatever it is, you can be sure. I've
seen many cases before.

And if it's what I think it is, I had it
myself as a young man. And look at me

now.

Bit of the flea.

So come along, my dear chap.

Out with it like a man.

Hey, I didn't quite mean... Oh, well.

Seems time.

Well, they can be very irritating, these
colds that won't go away. There's not

really an awful lot we can do about it.

But I will prescribe you something to
relieve that sinus headache.

Thank you, Dr. Dacre.

Everything else okay?

Life in general?

There isn't anything else you'd like to
talk to me about?

Well... Yes, there is, actually.

I mean, it's probably nothing, but...
Well, you've probably noticed something

unusual and you'd like your mind set at
rest.

Yes.

And?

It's a bit embarrassing.

So it's a bit embarrassing, is it?

Below the waist, I take it.

That's right, yes.

Front or back?

Front. Front only. Sure?

I do know the difference.

You must be one of our more able
students.

So we've got a bit of tool trouble, have
we? Well, well, well.

And how long is it since you noticed the
discharge?

How do we... I was hoping it would go
away, but it just won't.

Yes, I see.

You were really very sensible to come in
when you did.

Now, do you feel anything else?

Any burning sensation when you go to the
loo?

And that's been going on for about the
same number of days?

You know what it is, don't you?

It's something awful, I know it is. The
chances are it's nothing to be

frightened of and nothing to be ashamed
of.

From what you say, it does sound as
though you have a little infection

And it's likely to be the sort of thing
we can pass on when we're making love.

You beat VT, don't you?

That's a very emotive word, isn't it?

I'd like you to think of it as something
like a throat infection.

A bit irritating, a bit painful, but
very minor and easily treatable.

Anyway, let's find out for certain
first.

You do know how to examine yourself, do
you?

No.

But I can show you how to do that at the
same time.

It's really very easy.

OK, fine, all over. You like the
character, huh?

Well, you were absolutely right to come
in. There is something there.

We'll know for certain in a couple of
days.

It's just a minor infection, absolutely
nothing to get upset about, and you'll

be rid of it completely in a couple of
weeks.

I think we ought to have a urine sample
and do a blood test just to be on the

safe side.

Maureen will take care of that for you.

And as soon as the doctor...

I can see why.

It's just that Dr. Rosemary's got
another one the same next door.

Non -specific urethritis.

How very curious.

Yes. Oh, don't be alarmed, my dear chap.
It's a fine face to roll around the

tongue, but it's a trivial ailment.

One of the minor penalties exacted from
us by the goddess Aphrodite.

And all it requires of you is it take
four tips of cycling a day.

and abstain from carnal pleasures for a
fortnight.

And tell your lady love, tell all your
lady loves, to abstain likewise and come

and have a chat with me.

Hmm? But I've only got one lady love,
Doctor. I admire your restraint.

We only did it once.

My dear fellow, good rotten luck.

I wonder... Vaughan?

Do you have the records of the last day
or two in your wee machine?

I've got mine on floppy disk. Haven't
looked at the others yet. Still in note

form. Just give me the notes. Drop them
in before you go, dear chap.

Nothing special, was there?

No, no, no, no. Just a little light
reading for the wee small hours. That's

Hello, Dr. Dacre speaking.

Oh, hello, Jock. How are you?

Another early morning meeting. Is it the
VC again?

Oh.

What is it, then? It's not something
I've done, is it?

Oh. Right, yes, fine. No problem.

See you then, Jock.

Sorry I'm late, Jock.

Bloody traffic.

Do sit down, my dear fellow.

A briefing began at 8 .42.

Have you seen the waiting room?

I could hardly get through. Place was
full of bodies.

Live ones, I trust.

Think so. Hard to tell in this
university, of course.

What is the matter with the appointment
system? Why doesn't O 'Carman just send

them all away?

I think you'll find they're all
emergency cases, Bob.

I believe this practice is facing its
greatest crisis since 1974.

Yes, the enemy is amongst us.

He's flipped, hasn't he? I've seen it
coming.

You didn't happen to see anyone
yesterday with NSU symptoms, did you,

Yes, I did, oddly enough. Two of them.

One truculent ode from sociology and
that rather jolly little thing that runs

the tea bar in the SCR.

Maureen?

All right, I see.

Trouble with the trouser snake.

30 cases in two days, two of whom are
cheerfully owned up to a surprisingly

large circle of intimate friends.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have an
epidemic on our hands. Aren't you

this just a bit, Chuck?

Thirteen cases hardly constitutes an
epidemic.

But when you take the contacts into
account, and then the contacts of the

contacts... Of the contacts, of the
contacts, of the contacts, will the line

stretch out to the end of doom.

Consider how a new intellectual concept
spreads and garbles strength within the

academic community.

It's very much the same as non -specific
uricitis.

And it falls to us, the five of us here
in this room today, to meet this

challenge head -on, without publicity,
without assistance, and to win.

Any questions?

Jock, if it's as serious as all that,
don't you think we ought to make use of

the special clinic at the City General?

They do tend to be a bit brutal there,
Russ. Quite right, too.

Students who waste taxpayers' money
thrashing about in the pit are asking

bit of brutality.

And in any case, I, for one, did not
enter this profession to become a pock

doctor. Yes, absolutely, Rosemary. Let's
pack a lot of them off to the special

and get on with our lives.

Dr. Butterford, I am surprised at you.
What's the matter?

Where is your falcon spirit?

We are a task force, man.

This is our war, our struggle.

The honour of this practice stands or
falls by the way we handle this crisis.

We must go it alone.

Yes, I see. Right, fine.

Sorry, Jock.

There are also questions of policy
involved.

I have not been up all night for
nothing.

Imagine the publicity if the special
clinic were suddenly to be inundated

Lowland University students.

The local press would pick it up.

And then the national press.

The Sunday Times Guide.

Oh, Lord, yes. Lowlands University. Good
for mathematics, cybernetics and

nonspecific urethritis.

Exactly.

If we can handle it within the practice,
we shall be able to follow up the

contacts much more quickly and operate a
policy of absolute secrecy. You'll

never keep a thing like that quiet.

No defeatists on my team.

Absolute secrecy.

Nobody's to be informed.

Not even the vice -chancellor?

Especially not the vice -chancellor.

If we can win this battle, we shall have
saved his university for him, and he'll

never know.

Our only reward will be our knowledge
that we rose to the occasion when the

chips were done.

That we did it our way.

Any questions?

Then let's get to work on this.

Right, fine, there you are, feeling
perfectly OK. When out of the blue, you

a little grey card in your pigeonhole
telling you to come and see the doctor,

and naturally enough, you're wondering
what it's all about.

Well, you haven't won the Irish
sweepstake, buddy, I can tell you that.

Yes, I can quite understand that that
might be difficult for you.

What we can do is call in your professor
for a routine medical check -up and

notice the symptoms by chance, as it
were.

Afraid you'll have to keep yourself to
yourself for a wee while?

You might consider digging up a new
interest.

A cranny, perhaps.

Or beekeeping.

Clench your fist. Good and tight for me,
will you now?

That's the way.

And keep squeezing.

Don't need to worry. I won't be taking
any more than you can spare.

Now, if the sight of blood bothers you
at all, just look the other way and

think beautiful thoughts.

That's the way.

luck yet, Mr.

Bronski.

But try to turn the tap on. If that
doesn't work, I'll have to come and

to you.

Now then.

And now the only thing to do is to make
sure that your research assistant comes

in for a check -up, too, as soon as
possible.

And rest assured, it will be completely
confidential. As far as we are

concerned, you have a throat infection,
so wrap up warm, my dear, and suck a

cough drop, and your secret will be as
safe as houses.

Now take your time and tell me just what
it is that's worrying you.

Yes, I know. It's very embarrassing and
personal. Don't tell me it's a discharge

and discomfort when passing water,
right?

Don't ask me how I know. It's just a
sort of gift we doctors have.

Come on, then. Get your trousers off.

And don't forget, in ten days' time,
it'll all be over.

Come in, Stephen.

I've just finished.

What about you?

Yes, just now.

You look tired.

It's been quite a week, hasn't it?

Yes, it has.

And it's not just the extra work, is it?

It's really quite distracting, some of
it.

Mind examining all those vaginas with
teeth?

No, not that.

No problem.

It can be a bit disorientating after a
bit.

You know, the way a word becomes absurd
if you repeat it often enough.

But it's not distracting.

What then?

The emotional reactions.

Like the girls with one steady
boyfriend. They don't understand how

happened.

They don't want to understand how it's
happened.

And then they do understand how it's
happened, and you can give them

tetracycline and make them better, but
they don't feel better inside.

It's really sad.

Illness is one of the things that men do
to women.

It's not always that way around.

It's sad whichever way it happens.

I keep thinking about all the painful
conversations that must be going on out

there.

You're a bleeding heart, aren't you,
Stephen?

Don't you ever get angry?

What about?

Well, it's obvious, isn't it?

This whole NSU thing is a classic
demonstration of the university as a

phallocentric hierarchy.

The professor and his female research
assistant.

The catering manager with Duarte Senior
over his waitresses.

Third -year men, first -year women.

The steady boyfriend with the bit on the
side.

And, of course, they all have to be on
the pill.

Because that's the way the boys like it.
More comfy for them and less hassle.

Do you realize that if the sheath came
back into fashion, we wouldn't even have

this epidemic?

And total chastity would be even better.

I don't think I'd propose anything quite
as radical as that.

You are joking, aren't you, Stephen?

I'm not sure.

It's a bit of a downer, as both would
say.

Oh, well.

Better get along.

You know, I wish I could get rid of the
feeling that absolutely everybody in the

university have got it.

It's really only a tiny percentage.

See you tomorrow, Stephen.

You really mustn't worry about it.

Always a pleasure to see you.

All right, my dear fellows.

Standing up at the fray?

Did?

I mean, what?

You look a bit peaky, my boy.

You've had a long day. You get yourself
home and have a good night's sleep.

Jock will be at his post.

All will be well.

All will be well.

Well, this is very nice.

Yes.

Yes, I'm fine, Lynn.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm all right.

Good.

So, uh... How's your sexual idiolect,
then?

Um... It's a bit reticent tonight.

Yeah. Thought it might be.

Actually, I was wondering if we might go
back to stage two for a bit.

Yeah.

All right, if you like. Just for a bit.

You're sure that's fine with me?

Look, it's not anything to do with other
people, sort of thing.

No.

Well, in a way.

When I'm with you, I'm with you. You
know that. Yes.

And when you're with other people,
you're with other people.

It's a reason, doesn't it?

You promised you wouldn't get into that
possessed jealous bit.

I'm not. It's not that, honestly.

Well, what is it, then?

Look, really, it's only for a little
while. Just think of it as a sort of

Yeah. You haven't been sneaking off and
getting yourself a crafty dose of herpes

or something.

No.

No, really.

Oh.

But you think I might have.

No, I don't.

Yes, I can see how you might think that.

I haven't, though.

I'm sure you haven't.

Stephen, I'm a body language person,
remember?

You're looking at me the way people look
at tax inspectors.

I've never been to bed with a tax
inspector, Lynne. Yeah, I'll believe

But you wish you weren't in bed with me
now. No, honestly, it's just that I

don't feel... Yeah, I know.

Stage two will be fine.

Yeah, I know.

Trust me, Lynn.

Yeah, all right, Doc.

Stage two it is, then.

We're holding the enemy, but only just.

The next two days of the campaign will
be crucial.

I'll hand you over to Bob for the
detailed analysis.

Thanks, Jock.

I've run the figure through the computer
and I've got the feedback.

Art faculty produce the largest number
of cases.

Idle thoughts. Too much time on their
hands. Whole department's going down

dominoes. Similar pattern with the
secretaries and porters, and

studies lived up to their name.

Waitresses and bar staff were a problem
till we sewed up the catering manager's

trousers with cobbler's thread.

Sociologists appear to do it only with
each other, and we've got control there.

Engineers, you'll be interested to hear,
have a very low rate of sexual

activity. Singing about it in the bar
appears to be their only outlet, and

physical sciences hardly troubled the
scorer.

So far, so good.

What about the nuns?

Sorry?

The nuns?

Ah, my dear fellow, they were merely
inviting us to the convent's annual

-and -buy sale.

Sorry, I've been getting a bit jumpy.

But all that sounds as if we're
practically home and dry, Jock.

Unfortunately not.

Bob. We should be getting only referrals
from the contact tracing by now, but

there's a small and steady stream of new
cases with no discernible pattern to

them. Except they all say they're
baffled. They'll spin you a whole lot of

cobblers about anything from sharing the
communion cup to bugs in the air

conditioning. I think we might have an
asymptomatic carrier.

Or more than one.

One would be enough.

Some speedy Gonzales type, rottering his
way round without a care in the world.

But surely if there were such a person,
he'd have had a referral. Why hasn't he

come in for a check -up? Because he
hasn't got any of the symptoms himself

he simply can't be bothered.

You've got too much faith in human
nature, Stephen.

We'll get him.

His name must be somewhere in the
computer. I can't help thinking, isn't

just fantasy?

It's our only hope.

If we don't pin this down in the next
day or two, we could have another

escalation then, cousins.

Call in the special clinic.

Inform the Vice -Chancellor.

And read all about it in the paper.

I'm sorry to interrupt you, but do you
know you've all got a string of patients

waiting for you?

Oh, and, uh... That Jeannie McAllister's
here to see you, Dr. Dacre.

Jeannie McAllister?

Let me see her, Stephen. This might be a
suitable job for a woman.

Come on, you crafty little swine.

I know you're in there somewhere.

And how long have you had the symptoms?

About a fortnight.

Yes, I see.

That's rather a long time to wait before
coming to see anyone about it.

Yes, I know. It was really stupid of me.
I just...

I just couldn't believe it at first.

And then our GP is a personal friend.

I suppose I shall have to talk to my
husband about it.

Yes, I'm afraid you will.

Actually, you'll probably find he'll be
very relieved to be able to talk about

it.

Oh, no.

You don't understand at all.

It's me.

I'm the one who's to blame.

Now, Miss McAllister, first of all, I
assume you don't mind talking to me

instead of Dr. Dacre. He's got a very
heavy caseload on this morning.

No, that's all right.

Very good of you to see me at such short
notice.

All right.

Now, first of all, I would like to
establish some ground rules for our

conversation.

Yes? The first one is that it'll be
completely confidential.

Do you agree?

Oh, yes, Dr. Rosemary.

That means confidential not only in
terms of not being published, but also

you won't talk about it to anyone.

Yes, I understand that.

And while you are completely free to ask
me anything you like, I'm not

necessarily prepared to answer all your
questions.

All right?

Yes.

Um... It isn't so much a matter of me
asking questions, actually.

Oh? What is it a matter of, then?

Well... It's a bit embarrassing and
personal.

Oh.

I see now.

I'm so sorry, Jeannie.

Well, now take your time and tell me all
about it.

I'm sorry, I can't.

But, I mean, it would be for his own
good.

I'm sorry.

I know it must seem ridiculous and
stupid to you, and it is.

I can guarantee it would be completely
confidential. If it's someone that you

don't want to see again, then we can
make the contact for you without

you.

Anywhere in the country.

If you could just perhaps...

Give us a telephone number.

Believe me, I hate this part of it. It's
awful. It makes you feel like a special

branch of something.

If I... If I just wrote down a name...
That's all. You wouldn't

hear any more about it.

Oh, what the hell?

Thank you very much, Mrs Hampton. You've
been most helpful.

Come on, come on. Come out wherever you
are.

Oh, really? That's ridiculous.

Good grief.

Dacre, when somebody says they wish to
see me urgently on a private and

confidential matter, I make a point of
finding time for them.

That's very good of you, Vice
-Chancellor. I also usually find that

somebody says the matter is private and
confidential, it means they want to

confess something.

My advice to you is think before you
speak.

It may not be possible for me to respect
your confidentiality. This university

is not in the cover -up business.

I've been a firm believer in open
government ever since that student -file

scuffle back in 76.

And if it's the sort of thing your
pleaded hasn't got up to, I shan't be

support you, all right?

I have thought it over, Vice
-Chancellor.

All right, go ahead.

Well, it is rather delicate.

I wish there was another way. Yes, yes,
yes. We'll take that as read.

Let's just have it straight, shall we?

Your name's been given to me as a sexual
contact by a patient suffering from a

sexually transmitted disease.

Are you trying to blackmail me, Dacre?
Is that why you're here? Because if you

are... I'm telling you so that you can
have a check -up and get the condition

treated, if necessary. It is possible
you're what we call a symptomless

Who else knows about this?

Only me and the other patient.

What are the chances of keeping this
quiet?

Well, they're excellent, Vice
-Chancellor. I can put you in touch with

consultant who'll treat you privately in
London. I expect you prefer that.

And there won't be anything on our
records.

and I'll certainly respect the
confidentiality of this conversation.

I see.

Thank you.

Dacre, I'm sorry I reacted hastily just
now. It can't have been easy for you,

this. No, it wasn't.

Careful drink.

Oh, no, of course, you're a teetotaler.

I'm not, actually.

Yes, never forget that sort of thing.

Never mind if I have one.

I don't say that you find this... Well,
how can I put it?

Slightly scandalous.

A man in my situation, that sort of
thing. No, not at all.

Of course you do.

But I am a man, Dacre.

What's your first name, by the way?

Stephen. I am a man, Stephen.

A man, as other men.

Perhaps more so.

There really isn't any need to explain.

This can be a very lonely job, Stephen.

Nobody knows the struggles I've had to
keep this university viable.

And sometimes, when the battle has been
particularly bloody, a man needs...

Well, a man needs comfort.

Reassurance. Validation. Can you
understand that, Stephen?

Yes, of course I can.

Are you sure you want to talk to me
about this? You're a doctor, aren't you?

else could I talk to?

Well... Your wife, perhaps. My God, my
wife doesn't have to know about this,

does she? Well, that depends.

Depends on what, Dacre? You are trying
to blackmail me. It depends on whether

you've enjoyed marital relations in the
last six weeks or so.

Dacre, I've never enjoyed marital
relations very much, and I certainly

practised them for years.

Well, then, no, she doesn't need to
know.

You're a good fellow, Dacre.

I've got a lot to thank you for.

Not at all. I'm just doing my job. No,
no, no.

You're a good fellow.

It really is a shame.

What's a shame, Vice -Chancellor? I
shan't be able to look you in the eye

this, much too embarrassing.

No, I'm afraid one of us must start
looking for a new post quite soon.

And you do know which one of us I mean,
don't you?

Yes, I think I do.

That's a good man.

Your reference, of course, will be
excellent.

Thank you.

Um, there is one other thing, actually,
Vice -Chancellor.

Yes, Stephen?

Are there any more contacts we should
know about?

Dr. Theodulu, isn't it?

Daniela, please.

How very nice to see you again so soon.

Tell me, how are all the new initiatives
getting on? All those developments

along the interfaces?

Oh, very interesting.

Developing some very nice connections.

I think we can make some good things
happen, you know.

And now you've come to visit us.

And have you come to make something...

Happen here. Who knows?

Maybe I sparked something off with you,
Dr. McCann.

But mostly I am here because of this
mysterious little gray

card which comes in my pigeonhole this
morning.

Ah, yes. And all these others I find
waiting for

me last night.

It seems you're very anxious to see me.

You mean all these arrived yesterday?

I don't know. I don't think so. I think
maybe they have been, how do you say,

piling up a bit.

You see, I haven't been home so very
much lately.

No. Well, I can imagine that.

Do you know what it can mean, all this?

Yes, my dear.

I rather think I do.

We have come through.

We have saved the university.

Interdisciplinary studies. What else
could have linked philosophy with

weightlifting? Cybernetics of ancient
Greek.

And she was an asymptomatic carrier.

Who put you onto her, Jock?

Stephen did.

And who was the link, Stephen?

I'm afraid I can't say. I'm sorry.

What a gentleman.

You look tired, Stephen.

You look as if you've been through a
formative experience.

Yes, I rather think I have, Jock.

Will you all take a wee drink with me?

Not you, Stephen, of course. I know
you're a total abstainer. No, I'm not,

Well, now, here we are.

We few, we happy few.

We band of brothers and sisters.

Let's see if your presence is free.

The first this week, and by God, not the
last.

Cheers. Cheers.

You know, I think it's time old Jot went
to pieces again.

Well, you're full of surprises, you are.

Yes, I have been surprising myself
lately.

I did say it was only for a while, then.

Well, very unexpected sometimes.

Is that all right?

Yeah, it's good.

What was it, anyway?

Nothing.

I mean, it was nothing to do with you or
me.

No, really.

The thing is, I can't really talk about
it.

Professional etiquette?

That sort of thing.

Oh, well, it doesn't matter.

The old sexual idyllic's OK again.

You're a bit on the wonderful side, you
are.

Actually, Lynn, there's something I have
to tell you.

The thing is, I think I've screwed up my
career prospects here.

How do you mean?

I've been advised to apply for other
posts.

There's no hurry, no hassle.

Good references, but all the same.

Who is it? I mean, who advised you?

Someone quite high up.

Well, very high up, actually. I didn't
do anything wrong. It was just bad luck.

Well, cite it.

The thing is, I don't think I can. It's
all to do with, you know, professional

etiquette. Well, sod on, Ron.

You're a nice doctor. Everybody knows
that.

You could make it anywhere.

I'll give you a testimonial anyway.

Oh.

You really like it here, don't you?

Duff bugger.

Yeah, I do.

Well, hey then.

Tell him to get stuffed.

It'll be difficult.

Yes.

Yes, I bloody well will. My hero.

Look.

I've got something to say to you.

Sort of a confession.

Yes. Can you stand one? I don't know.

It's about being with other people.

Go on.

Well, I haven't been with other people
lately. I've sort of gone off it.

I've only been with you.

Oh.

Is that all right?

Do you feel threatened?

I mean, look, it's nothing heavy. It
doesn't mean you have to see me every

or anything. It's just...

Well, I don't know. Maybe it's a phase.

I would have told you the other night.
It just seems so tense.

Oh, Lynn, I wish you had.

You mean you can cope with it? A one -to
-one relationship?

Yes, Lynn, I think I could make a stab
at it.